Fred Weasley, Underworld Detective
by Shinoko
Summary: Fred died. One would think that would be the end for him. And then he's given a second chance...
1. 01 The Death of Fred Weasley

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, who lives in the UK. YuYu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, who lives in Japan. I have never been to either the UK or Japan, so I do not own either series.

**Author's Note**: Before we begin, let me just say that one does not need to know the slightest thing about YuYu Hakusho to read this fic. I would hesitate to call this a crossover for said reason. To me, a crossover is when characters of more than one fandom appear together, and one needs to be familiar with both fandoms to truly 'get' a story. This is a Harry Potter fanfiction. Not a YuYu Hakusho fanfiction. With the exception of a couple of cameos and references, no characters from YuYu Hakusho will make much of an appearance, and none of the characters that do appear are important. Hence, the story will not be posted in the crossover section.

Constructive criticism is always good, as are questions and suggestions. Flames are just used to roast marshmallows with. Please excuse any Americanisms, as I am American. I've attempted to avoid Americanisms whenever I could, though. Onwards to the story.

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**Chapter 1**: The Death of Fred Weasley  
[_May 2-3, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred floated into the Great Hall, rubbing his forehead. He wasn't quite sure how or why he was floating and not walking, but he figured it must be some weird side effect of some spell or another. He wasn't even sure how he got from the corridor where he'd been battling Death Eaters with his brother Percy (and Ron, Harry, and Hermione had also arrived on scene, he remembered). He figured such details to be unimportant, though.

The battle had come to a temporary lull. The defenders of Hogwarts had been given one hour to tend to their injured and grieve for their dead by You-Know-Who. Too many lives had been lost already, Fred thought as he lowered his hand. He had to make sure his family was all right.

His heart plummeted as he saw the mass of red hair surrounding the body of one of the fallen. That was not a good sign in the least. He wished he could float a little faster to see just who his family was huddled around. His parents were both there. He could see that his mother was sobbing over the body he couldn't see, while his father was trying to console her amongst the tears he himself was shedding. His brothers Bill, Percy, and Ron were there, as was his sister Ginny. Each of them were crying. Well, Ron was shouting a bunch of curse words to nobody in particular while tears streamed down his face, but that counted.

Fred felt sick inside as he realized who was missing. He didn't see his twin amongst the rest of his family. He cursed how slow his progress was, and really was starting to wonder what sort of weird curse he was hit with, because floating was not normal.

He stopped momentarily as he felt an extremely weird sensation of someone walking through him. The hollowness he felt inside at not having seen George amongst his family quickly turned to extreme confusion as his twin stopped walking, and turned around with an equally confused look on his face.

"George!" Fred called out with relief. It wasn't George, thank Merlin. He wondered briefly who it was, but was just far too relieved it wasn't George.

George didn't seem to hear him, though. After glancing around briefly, he shrugged, and turned back to head towards the rest of their family.

Fred frowned. How could George just ignore him like that when they were less than three feet away from one another? He struggled to float faster. He really hoped that whoever put this curse on him got what was coming to them.

As George approached his family, Percy took notice of him and went ashen. Percy went over to George, trying to block him from viewing whoever it was that their family was huddled around.

It couldn't be Charlie, who hadn't even arrived at Hogwarts yet. He knew it wasn't Fleur, as she was clutching onto Bill tightly. It couldn't be Harry, either, as Fred had heard the proclamation of You-Know-Who, trying to call him out. That, and Harry was entering the Great Hall. And even though he hadn't really noticed her before -- focused on his family as he was -- he could see Hermione had arrived at some point, and was trying to calm Ron down.

Everyone in his family and adopted family was accounted for. So who was it they were grieving over?

Fred cursed whoever put the floating curse on him as he watched his twin shout something at Percy and break past their older brother. His progress was just too damn slow! It was like he was just drifting in the air, and he needed to see who was dead!

He almost stopped again as George let out a heart-wrenching cry and sank to his knees. He really needed to see who it was, because who could elicit such a reaction from his twin? His twin looked utterly devastated as he knelt down by the head of whoever it was everyone was grieving over.

A little bit further, and Fred was finally able to see who it was they were huddled around. Much to his confusion, it was… himself? That was impossible!

"All right, everyone. Joke's over," Fred said. There wasn't any possible way that it could be him they were all gathered around. If it weren't for the fact that the fallen twin had both ears intact, and George was obviously knelt down by his head, then Fred might have thought it was George. "I don't know who that is, but it's not me! I'm right here!"

Nobody seemed to hear him or pay any kind of attention to him. Since Percy was standing closest to him, he tried to hit Percy in the back of the head to get his attention. 'Tried to' was the operative phrase.

Fred's hand went right through Percy's head just like it was going through air. He might have cracked jokes in the past about Percy's head being full of hot air, but that was _not normal_. Fred frowned, trying to think about just what curse he might be suffering the effects of.

He remembered fighting Death Eaters in the corridor with Percy. After hexing the ex-Minister of Magic, Percy had told a joke. Fred had turned to him in disbelief, as he hadn't heard Percy joke around in a very long time. While Fred was distracted, the wall exploded and crumbled down around them. Fred had been hit in the head with a piece of the falling wall. The next thing he knew he was floating into the Great Hall, and now he was looking down over his own body.

Fred blinked. And then he blinked again. For a very brief instant, he wondered if maybe he and George were actually triplets, and for whatever reason had not been told about their other brother. Who just happened to be wearing the exact same clothes that Fred had worn. Complete with the exact same coffee stain in the exact same place as on Fred's shirt. That was a completely ludicrous idea, though.

A more likely idea was one that Fred didn't want to believe, but would certainly explain the floating and why he was looking down at himself. "Am I dead?" he mused out loud, not wanting to believe it, but not really being able to explain just what he was seeing.

"Ding ding ding!" A far too cheerful voice called out from behind him. Fred turned around to see a strange-looking girl with dark purple hair hovering on an oar nearby. He was not familiar with what kind of clothing the girl was wearing, and figured it to be some sort of Muggle garment. Whatever it might be, it vaguely resembled a deep purple robe with a pink sash tied around her waist. She held a book in one hand, and stared at him with violet colored eyes. "That's exactly right, Fred Weasley! You're dead, and I'm here to take you to the Underworld!"

Fred just gaped at her in shock. If he was dead, then why did she sound so _cheerful_ about it? "Are you mental?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.

The girl's smile faltered slightly for a moment. "No, just your guide. You can call me Karin. I'm on a rather tight schedule, and you know you're dead, so shall we head off now?"

Fred glanced over at his family. George did not look like he was taking it well at all. His eyes might be dry, but George had the dull look of someone who was in the process of having a mental breakdown. He turned back to Karin. "I'm not going anywhere."

Karin's smile faded. "Um, I don't think you understand--"

"I'm not leaving him here," Fred interrupted. "I don't care if I come back as a ghost or whatever, but I can't leave him like that."

Karin stared at him for a few seconds, and then sighed. "Normally, I wouldn't be allowed to offer this. You died right on schedule, and this is not something that is offered to just anyone. However, under the circumstances, I was told to mention it if you proved difficult." She raised a finger, locking eyes with his. "There _is_ a way to come back to life. However, there's a catch--"

"I don't care what the catch is," Fred said, folding his arms across his chest. "I'll do it."

Karin chuckled and wagged a finger. "Not that easy. You'll have to pass a test to come back to life. To prove yourself worthy."

"I don't care," Fred repeated. "I'll do whatever it takes." He paused, thinking that he could be asked to do something horrible. "Well, within reason."

Karin smiled. "Excellent! If you'll just come with me I can take you to see my boss, and you can work out all the details there!"

Fred narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not leaving here. Your boss can come here." He looked back over to George. He needed to tell his twin that he was going to try to come back, but didn't want to give him false hope in case the strange girl was trying to trick him into going to the afterlife with her. He didn't know _how _he would tell his twin anything, but that was beside the point.

Karin sighed heavily and opened the book she held. "He's too busy to come here. Let's see here…" She flipped through the pages, and then began to read out loud from one of the pages, "'Fred Weasley, 20 years old. Reckless and impulsive, has a tendency to cause trouble wherever he goes. Has little regard for any rules or boundaries, and takes pleasure in causing mayhem.'"

Fred scoffed. "I get the point. I'm still not going anywhere with you."

Karin's eyes widened as she read something in the book. "Whoa, you did _that_?!"

Fred's eye twitched. "Are you even listening?"

She looked over at him. "Listen, I can understand why you don't trust me. After all, I am Death--"

"Death goes 'ding ding ding'?" Fred asked in a disbelieving tone. He had gotten bored with the conversation, and decided it might be better if he were to try to comfort his twin. He hated to see his twin like that. It was like George had just shut down.

Slowly, he tried to float towards his brother. He had no idea how it was that ghosts moved around and stuff, because floating was slow and extremely aggravating.

His progress came to an abrupt halt as he was hit across the back of the head with an oar. "Ow!" he shouted, holding the back of his head and turning around to face Karin. "What in the hell did you do that for?!"

Karin looked affronted, and then sat back down on her oar, which hovered like a broomstick. "It's incredibly rude to turn away from someone when you're having a conversation. It's not like he'll hear you, anyway."

Fred glared at her for a few seconds. "Why are you offering me the chance to come back to life if it's not something normally done?"

Karin blushed, a sheepish expression on her face. "There's been some debate in the Underworld about where you'll go after you die. I'm guessing they're trying to stall for time or something."

"What kind of debate?" Fred asked suspiciously.

She chuckled nervously. "The gist of it is that they don't really want you in Heaven, and they're too afraid you might try to take over Hell."

There was a long pause as Fred just stared at her.

Karin smiled anxiously. "I know it sounds cliché, but that's the best way to sum it up. You're not really deserving of Hell either, but that's beside the point. Point is they're trying to stall for time while they figure out where you'll go, and they don't really want you to linger around in limbo for too long. Now I told you I'm on a tight schedule. King Enma can explain everything once we get to the Underworld."

Fred's eyes narrowed. "He can come here."

Karin shot him an annoyed look, and the oar came down over Fred's head again. "Don't be an imbecile!" she shouted as Fred glared at her and rubbed his head. "King Enma is far too busy to come down here to the human realm. And if you don't behave yourself, he might just forget about bringing you back to life and chuck you down into Hell after all. Now hold on tight." She grabbed Fred's hand, and took off on her oar.

Fred screamed and grabbed onto the oar for dear life as they raced out of the Great Hall. She could have at least given him some kind of warning before taking off like that! What was she trying to do, kill him?

Was it even possible to kill someone who was already dead?

He made sure his displeasure was very well known by stringing together as many curse words as he could think of in as many languages as he knew curse words in. Some words he made up completely. Fred was not afraid of heights or flying in the least, but traveling at breakneck speed while holding on to the broad end of an oar was not his idea of a good time, particularly since Karin did not seem to know how to fly very well. Or maybe she did, and decided she would just flip them upside down every now and then for _fun_. Maybe if he was sitting on the oar like she was it would be different.

"There it is!" Karin exclaimed as they flew higher in the sky. Fred cracked open an eye slightly, seeing them pass through some clouds, approaching a patch of sky that seemed a bit pinker than the rest of the dark sky around them.

They flew through the pink patch of sky, and Fred dared to look down. Below them was a long winding river of silver water, twisting through the yellow desert-like landscape. It was extremely strange, but the sky around them was a light lavender in color, and the clouds around them were a light shade of green. Where on earth were they?

"We're almost there!" she exclaimed again as the river came to an end, and a yellow earthen bridge came into view. Off in the distance, Fred could see a huge palace that looked like no castle he'd ever seen before. "We'll be at the Gate of Judgment soon," she told Fred as she lowered the oar so they were mere feet above the earthen bridge.

The palace came closer into view. It appeared to be vaguely oriental in design, with a large front door and a pagoda-style roof. As they drew closer, Fred became a bit concerned that they didn't seem to be slowing down in the least. At the rate they were going, they would end up crashing. "Er, crazy girl?" he spoke up, trying to get Karin's attention.

"You can refer to me as Karin," she said, still not slowing down.

There wasn't even enough time to warn her that they were going to crash. Mere feet away from the closed door, Karin came to an abrupt halt, causing Fred to let go of the oar. Due to the momentum that they had, Fred continued to fly a few feet through the air, smacking into the door face first.

Holding a hand over his stinging nose, he started yelling at her for trying to kill him.

"Oh, hush up," she said. "You're already dead, so it's not like you can die again." She turned to the door and cupped her hands around her mouth. "It's Karin! We're coming in!" she shouted.

The door opened, and Karin led Fred through a wide hallway in front of them. He could see there were many doors to the sides of the hallway, and he wondered briefly where they led.

As they walked to wherever she was taking him, he began to think about what he was going to do. He was _not _going to leave George behind to suffer. He didn't want the rest of his friends or family to grieve over him, either. He preferred seeing people laugh; it was just the way he was. If this King Enma person refused to let him go back, drastic actions would have to be taken.

There wasn't much he had with him currently, but he did have some supplies. He had his wand on him at least, which was crucial. He could light a few of the Whiz-Bangs he had on him, and in the distraction that would cause, he could force-feed a Puking Pastille to King Enma using a spell. "And maybe a Ton-Tongue Toffee for good measure. Yeah, that's what I'll do," he muttered to himself as they stopped in front of another door.

Karin glanced over at him, giving him a strange look. "What are you muttering about?" she asked as she held down a button on the door. "Karin here. I've got Fred Weasley with me," she said.

"Come in," another voice said. Fred wondered where it was coming from, but figured it must be some sort of Muggle technology or something. It sounded like it had come from slits along the rectangle the button was part of.

The door slid open, and Fred's eyes widened. Inside the room, there were many strange looking creatures running around. Some were carrying armloads of papers, and others were shouting instructions and pointing. A few of them were holding 'felly tones', and speaking animatedly. Even more were sitting at desks, in front of strange things his dad had referred to as 'con-tutors'.

All the strange creatures were apparently male and wearing striped loincloths. All of them appeared to have short horns, usually one or two, but Fred could have sworn he saw one with four horns. None of them had any human-like skin color, as no human had red, green, or blue skin. It was obvious that none of these creatures were earthly in origin.

"What is this?" Fred asked as he was led further into the room. The door slid closed behind them. Glancing around, he almost collided into a green-skinned whatever that was running by with a large stack of papers.

"Watch it," the creature growled, not even pausing. He somehow managed to keep his paper stack from falling.

Fred followed Karin to the far end of the room, where there was a desk stacked high with papers. Karin's cheery expression faltered slightly at the noticeable absence of anyone behind the desk.

"He should be here," she said to herself. "He is expecting us."

"That I am," someone said, approaching from behind them.

Fred turned around to see a small toddler waddling up to them. He wore a ridiculous looking hat with 'Jr.' printed on the brim, and had a pacifier in his mouth. Fred was slightly amazed that the toddler could speak around it.

Karin noticeably brightened. "This is Fred Weasley, sire. He's opted to undergo the test to come back to life."

"I expected as such," the toddler spoke.

Fred glanced to Karin. "This is Enma?" He couldn't help it. He cracked up in laughter. "This guy looks like he's barely out of diapers, and he's your _boss_?" He wiped away a few tears of mirth as he laughed harder.

Karin smacked him over the head with her fist. "Show some respect, you fool!"

The toddler glared at Fred as he hopped up onto the chair behind the desk and sat down. "I am the son of King Enma, known as Enma Junior. Although some people call me Koenma. And I'll have you know that I'm over 50 times older than you, so watch your mouth."

One of the strange creatures from before approached with a stack of papers. "These await your signature, Lord Koenma," he said before walking away.

The toddler Koenma sighed. "It never ends."

Fred's initial laughter died down, although he still snickered behind his hand.

Koenma reached into a pocket. "As you can see, we're quite busy here, so I'll get down to the point." He brought his hand out of his pocket, holding something. "The test you must face is this." He opened his hand, revealing a golden egg that he held out to Fred. "This is the egg of your reijuu, or spirit beast. You must hatch and raise what's inside."

Fred blinked, taking the egg from Koenma. "You're kidding, right?"

"You must keep it with you at all times," Koenma instructed. "It will feed off of the energy you emit. Once it hatches, you will be restored to life. In the meantime your body will await your return. It is extremely important that nothing happens to it. Your heart has already started to beat again. The rest is up to you now."

Fred looked to him in alarm. "It's a wizard custom to cremate their dead on a funeral pyre! Unless this thing hatches with the next few hours, my body could be cremated in a few days!"

Karin chuckled. "Simple. You can visit someone who's alive in their dreams, and tell them not to let your body be cremated."

Koenma nodded. "Now if you'll excuse me, I must get back to work." He looked at the stack of paperwork and sighed heavily. "Of all times to go on vacation…" he muttered as he picked up a rubber stamp.

Karin led Fred out of the room. "It's not so bad," she said, trying to comfort Fred, who was worried about what might happen if his body were to be cremated before he could return to life. "All you have to do is convince someone to leave your body alone until you can come back to life."

--- --- ---

Fred found that to be a lot easier said than done. He was back in the Burrow, where his parents had insisted on everyone gathering after the battle had ended. Even Ron and Hermione were there. Even though it was late -- very late -- nobody seemed inclined to go to sleep anytime soon. Fred had no idea where his body was currently, although imagined it was probably in a casket or something, awaiting his funeral. By overhearing a conversation between Bill and Charlie, he had discovered that his funeral would be held in two days.

Fred was worried. He had two nights to enter someone's dream to tell them not to let his body get cremated. George was the first person he had thought of, but his twin had holed himself up in their old room, and was getting sloshed off of various bottles of Firewhisky. At the rate he was going, it was likely that he would pass out soon, but there would be a few problems about entering his dream. The first problem was if George would even remember the message once he woke up. The second problem would be if anyone were to believe him.

His mother was sitting in the kitchen, still sobbing on his father's shoulder. She might cry herself to sleep at some point, but getting her to believe that it wasn't just some grief-stricken wishful thinking on her part would be another story. Same went for his father.

No, Fred had to find someone who was more or less intact emotionally. His brother Percy was out, as he had fallen into a sullen state of combined grief and guilt, sitting on the couch in the sitting room but not really looking at anything. Ron was determinedly trying to take his mind off of things, playing a rather explosive game of Exploding Snap with Ginny. Fred could tell that neither of their hearts were into it, as they would break down into fresh tears every now and then, usually after a card exploded. It seemed like they were both trying to stay awake as long as possible.

Bill or Charlie might be good bets, as they were the ones trying to hold things together the most. With their parents too stricken to do much aside from grieve, it was up to them to make arrangements through their own grief. But one glance at the label of the potion on the small table between them made it apparent that they wouldn't be sleeping tonight. The Stay-Awake potion would keep them awake for hours with just a single swallow, and by the size of the large bottle, they had enough to keep them up for days.

That left three choices, really. He could enter Fleur's dream, but he didn't know if she would listen. If she did, she could pass the message along to Bill, who was in charge of arrangements. But he wasn't very close to her, and he doubted she would believe him. He could also try to enter Harry's dream, but the Boy-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who looked to be busy brooding on a chair in the sitting room. Or maybe he was having a brooding contest with Percy. Hermione, however, appeared to have dozed off on another chair.

He knew she would listen to him. After all, Hermione was the smartest witch he knew of. He hoped that she would believe him, but it wasn't like he had many options. And hopefully someone would believe her if she passed his message along.

Figuring it didn't hurt to try, he floated over to her. His floating wasn't as painstakingly slow as it had been before, now that Karin had told him how to float 'properly'. He could float faster than walking speed, which was a definite improvement over the snail's pace.

He settled down right in front of her. Supposedly, all he was supposed to do was talk to her or something. He floated just above the ground, watching her. "I don't know if you can hear me or not, Hermione, but it's me, Fred." He took in a deep breath. "I'm coming back to life, so you've got to make sure that nothing happens to my body until then. If you don't believe me, just go to my body and listen for a heartbeat or something."

Hermione frowned in her sleep. Fred could see that she must have cried herself to sleep, as there was the telltale stream of dried tears that had run down her cheek. "Fred…" she muttered in her sleep.

"That's right," he said. "I can't say when I'll be back, but until I do I'm asking you to protect me. And would you stop crying already? You know how I hate to see people all depressed and stuff. It brings me down, and you know I hate being serious like this. And confiscate George's Firewhisky, would you? Last thing we need is for His Holeyness to start doing drunken impressions." He paused. "Well, maybe that would lighten things up. Just don't let him do anything stupid. Anyway, pass it on that I'm coming back, so don't do anything to my body. I mean, you could ravage it if you want, because we both know how devilishly handsome I am, but I'd prefer to be _in _my body at the time if you were to do that. Not to mention that it would be just plain weird, and I'm sure Ron would get upset if you were to do that."

Hermione muttered something in her sleep that he didn't quite catch, but heard something that sounded like 'idiot'.

Fred smiled slightly as he raised a hand and wiped away a fresh tear that was falling down her cheek. "I guess that's it. I'm counting on you, Hermione."

He hoped she got his message as she stirred and woke up, calling his name. Hermione placed a hand to her cheek where he had wiped away her tear. "Wasn't I crying…?" she asked herself. "It wasn't a dream…" she whispered in realization. Fred smiled, knowing he made the right choice when she stood up and went over to Ron and Ginny, frantically asking were Bill was.

With that done, he decided to check on if George had passed out yet, or if he was still on his drinking binge. He hated seeing his twin in as bad of shape as he was, and wanted to at least try to comfort him somehow. There was some advantage to being a spirit, as walls meant absolutely nothing to him, and he could float through the ceiling onto the floor above them.

Directly above was Ginny's room, girlish that it was. Sure, she had some non-girlish decorations up, like the poster of the Weird Sisters on one wall, but her room was still rather girlish. He continued to float towards his old room, where George was holed up with far too much alcohol.

He glared at his twin when he saw the numerous empty bottles around him. George was sitting on the floor, barely holding onto an almost empty bottle. A glance toward the mirror by the desk showed that it had been shattered by a bottle being thrown at it, as a broken bottle lay on the floor alongside the shattered mirror glass.

"You lush," Fred said. "I'm going to kick the arse of whoever gave you this much booze. No, I take that back. I'm going to kick your arse if you don't pull yourself together, and then I'll kick their arse." He knew that George couldn't hear him, but didn't care. At least George hadn't tried to do anything truly stupid. He would really have kicked George's arse if his twin did something as incredibly stupid as to attempt to join him in the afterlife.

George shakily raised a hand to finish off what was left in his bottle. Fred frowned as he saw half the contents splashed down the front of his twin's shirt. "Dammit, George!" he shouted as his twin muttered something unintelligibly and tossed the bottle to the ground. "Snap out of it!" He hated seeing his brother like this. George should be trying to cheer everyone up by making inappropriate jokes and setting off dung bombs or fireworks or something. Not sitting in their room getting drunk.

He knew George wouldn't be able to feel it, which was why he went over to him and kicked him in the chest. His foot went right through George, who paused in his attempt to drunkenly search for a bottle containing more alcohol and looked around the room bleary-eyed.

Fred stared down at him as he pulled his foot back. "You felt that?" he said out loud. Percy hadn't reacted in the slightest when Fred had attempted to punch him in the back of his head, but he recalled that George had paused in the Great Hall after he'd walked right through Fred.

Not caring about the 'whys' or 'hows', Fred bent down and tried grabbing onto his twin's shoulders. It took him a few moments to adjust the positioning of his hands, since they would go right through George if he wasn't careful, but he thought he got a close approximation of it. If he concentrated, it was almost like he was really grabbing his twin. "Can you hear me, George?"

It didn't appear that George could see or hear him, even though it seemed like he could feel him. George had all but abandoned his quest for more liquor, furrowing his brows and glancing around in front of him.

"I'm right in front of you, George," Fred said. "Whether you can hear me or not doesn't matter. I'm coming back to life, so pull yourself together. I don't want to come back only to find you've done something stupid like drank yourself to death. You're stronger than this. Go set off some fireworks in gnome holes in the garden or something. You remember when we tried to do that and mum got all upset and started yelling at us? 'Course, that could have been because she found the dung bombs we'd hidden in the kitchen after she accidentally set some off. Just stop moping around!"

George blinked blearily a few times, his eyes red and unfocused. "Is someone here?" he slurred.

Fred nodded and pulled his hands back. "That's right. I'm here, and I'm coming back."

George shook his head, and picked up a nearby bottle that appeared to have a bit of liquid in it still.

"Dammit, George!" Fred shouted, grabbing George's wrist.

George paused again, and slowly lowered the bottle with a look of drunken confusion on his face. "Who's there?"

"I'm here," Fred repeated. "Just stop this. Please."

"He can't hear you, you know," Karin said from behind him.

Fred glanced back to her, letting go of his brother's wrist. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged. "I didn't know if you needed help visiting someone's dream or not, so I came just in case." She slowly walked over to him. "He can't hear you or see you. Or me, for that matter."

Fred frowned. "He can feel me, though." He looked back to his brother, who glanced at the bottle briefly before hugging his knees to his chest and setting his head down. "Why can he feel me when no one else could?"

Karin made a thoughtful sound. "It is strange." She held out a hand and her oar appeared in it. Fred glanced at her in confusion for a moment. His confusion quickly turned to outrage as she swung the oar at George. It passed right through him.

Fred stood up and faced her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he yelled at her.

She chuckled and the oar disappeared. "Just checking something."

"Who's there?" George slurred, a bit more forcefully than before. He looked up, glaring drunkenly around the room.

Fred glanced down at his twin, and then back to Karin. "How could he feel that?"

She smiled brightly at him. "That's not important. What _is _important," she said, giving him a serious look, "is that you pass on the message not to destroy your body."

Fred gave her a flat look. "You know…" he said slowly. "If I stay the way I am now, I could haunt girls and watch them shower with them being none the wiser. It might be funny to smash this egg thing and do just that."

The oar was re-summoned and re-introduced to Fred's head.

Fred's loud cursing at her was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Open the door!" Hermione called from the other side, the doorknob rattling. George didn't make any motion to move from his spot on the floor. Fred doubted that George could stand if he tried. Hermione muttered on the other side of the door, and cast an unlocking spell.

"It reeks in here," Hermione commented as she scrunched up her nose and waved a hand in front of her face. She surveyed the empty bottles around George. "You smell like a brewery."

George muttered something incoherent at her, reaching for the bottle with liquor in it again. His hand waved around unsteadily.

Hermione made a face and aimed her wand at him. "_Sobrius_," she muttered, waving her wand.

George blinked a few times, his eyes looking clearer than they had before. They were still quite red, but not as bloodshot as they had been. At least they no longer possessed the glassy drunkenness that they had. "Dammit, Granger," he muttered, no longer slurring his speech. "What did you have to do that for?"

Hermione walked over to him, kneeling in front of him. Fred moved aside, as he was quite sure that she did not want to be kneeling through him. Even though she couldn't see or feel him, he didn't think she'd appreciate him remaining there when her face was practically in his crotch.

Hermione placed her hands on George's shoulders. "On a hunch, I just went with Bill to your dad's tool shed to check on Fred's body--"

"What is he doing in dad's tool shed?" George interrupted.

That's what Fred wanted to know. He was glad that it was so close, but in the _tool shed_?

Hermione shook her head. "That's not important. What _is _important is that his body is warm. He has a heartbeat."

George looked at her in confusion for a moment. "A heartbeat…?"

Hermione smiled. "He's alive, George."

George grabbed her arms, giving her a searching look. "If you're lying to me or trying to pull some sick joke, I swear that I will kill you," he said.

She shook her head. "I wouldn't joke around about something like that. Bill and Charlie are bringing him inside now."

Fred smiled at the relief on his twin's face as George clung on to Hermione. He was glad that his message had gotten through. He turned to Karin. "So how long do I have left to peep at girls for?"

As he rubbed his head, he wondered if it was possible for a spirit to get brain damage from being hit over the head too many times.


	2. 02 A Bored Stiff

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. The concepts from YuYu Hakusho belong to Yoshihiro Togashi.

--- --- ---

**Chapter 2**: A Bored Stiff  
[_May 4, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred had to admit, it looked just like he was sleeping. His body had been moved so that it was now lying on top of his old bed. Earlier in the day, a Healer had come in on a house call to examine him, and declared that it appeared he was just sleeping, and could wake up at any time. The relief of his family was very obvious, as more tears were shed, and plenty of hugs were passed around. Fred was just glad that they were the good kind.

He wondered what was going to happen next. He had no idea of how long it would take for the egg to hatch and for him to be able to return to his body. Not being able to really communicate with anyone was getting on his nerves, even if George seemed to be able to feel him if he tried to touch him. Fred thought that was a bit odd, but didn't really stop to question it because that line of thought was boring.

If Karin had stuck around, he could probably question her on a few things. The strange girl with the oar had disappeared 'on business', though, so he couldn't. Instead he floated around the Burrow, trying to find something interesting going on.

Although relieved that Fred was alive, Harry seemed to be stuck in 'brood mode'. Fred supposed that was only natural, as he had seen more than his fair share of death and had apparently died and come back to life himself. For the moment, though, Harry was acting relatively boring. Fred tried to cast an incantation to make Harry burst into song and dance, but that had no effect. Fred hadn't really expected it to, but it would have been amusing to see.

His parents weren't being much more interesting. His mother was happily humming in the kitchen as she prepared a veritable feast in celebration of Fred being alive. His father went to the Ministry to help clean things up there, as did his brother Percy. Fred was glad that Percy had reconciled with the family, even if he was a git at times. Still, there was no point in following either of them.

Fred was slightly amused when he accidentally floated through the bathroom while Fleur was in there, looking between a small vial of some sort of potion and a sheet of parchment on the counter next to it. He paused momentarily to see what she was doing, raising an eyebrow when he realized she was trying to determine the results of a pregnancy test, while muttering something in French.

Fred chuckled as he glanced at the red potion in the bottle. "Blue means you're not, red means you are," he said, even though she couldn't hear him. He could understand why she was having a difficult time determining the results. English was not her native language, and the way the directions were written on the parchment could be rather confusing to a native English speaker.

Moving on, he checked on Ginny. He frowned as he saw that she was reading something she most certainly should not be reading. He was hardly one to tell on anyone for any kind of wrongdoing, but he hardly thought that a book titled '101 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed' was appropriate for her. He made a mental note to keep a very close eye on her when she was with Harry.

Bill and Charlie had gone off to help clear away the rubble at Hogwarts. While that could be interesting for the change of pace, Fred realized that there were probably still undiscovered bodies from the battle, and that was just plain depressing.

He was somewhat surprised to see that Hermione was sitting with George inside the twins' room. She hadn't really been close to either of them before, and he had figured that she would rather spend some time with Ron. Granted, Ron was being uninteresting, trimming the end of his broom in his room, but it was still an odd combination. Fred decided to loiter around just in case something interesting happened. He had no idea what sort of interesting things might happen, but decided to loiter around anyway. At least the empty bottles had been vanished. The mirror was still broken, but the glass was gone.

"A dream, huh?" George said, raising an eyebrow.

Hermione nodded. "He said he was coming back to life, and asked me to protect his body." She made a face. "He also made a crude remark I'm not repeating."

Fred chuckled.

George glanced over at her. "I wonder why he chose you to talk to?"

Hermione shrugged. "Maybe he wasn't able to talk to anyone else. Maybe it was because he knew I would listen."

Fred frowned. Their conversation was boring. He was a bit disappointed that his twin wasn't teasing Hermione into revealing the 'crude remark' that Fred had made to her in her dream. Had the situation been reversed, Fred would have done so. Of course, if the situation had been reversed he would hope that he wouldn't have gone on a binge-drinking spree. For a moment, he contemplated going back to the bathroom and seeing if Fleur had figured out she was pregnant yet.

"It should be obvious why I don't want to leave the room," George said, looking towards Fred's body lying on the other bed. "But what about you? Not that I mind the company, but why aren't you out there doing whatever?"

"I'm trying to avoid Ron," Hermione said simply.

Fred raised an eyebrow, deciding to stick around for a while. It sounded like things were starting to take an interesting spin.

"I mean," she continued, "I hope you don't mind or anything. That's not the only reason I'm here."

George glanced over to her. "Why are you trying to avoid Ron?"

Hermione blushed and looked down to the ground. "During the battle… He said something and I, er, kissed him."

George shook his head. "You lost me somewhere."

Hermione frowned. "I'm afraid things will be awkward between us." She turned to George. "Have you ever thought you liked someone in that way only to realize that you didn't?" She looked away from him. "I can't quite explain it, but kissing him was like kissing my brother."

George raised an eyebrow. "Having never kissed any of my brothers, I wouldn't know." He paused. "Despite what rumors some girls might have tried to spread around school, I have never taken part in any threesomes with Fred."

Fred laughed. He remembered there were a few girls who tried to spread that particular rumor about them back in school. He supposed it was wishful thinking on the girls' parts, as he knew there were quite a number of girls who probably fantasized about them that way.

Hermione gave him a weird look. "I have never heard any rumors like that, but--" She shook her head. "No, I don't want to know. The problem with Ron is that I don't want to lose his friendship, but at the same time, I know things can't go back to the way they had been before. It was like there was all this tension before, but once it was resolved, I realized I just didn't feel that way about him that I thought I did. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to pretend to feel something I don't."

George chuckled. "It could be a lot worse."

"How so?" Hermione asked, looking back at him.

George smirked. "You could have shagged him before realizing that."

Fred chuckled. That was quite true. He and Angelina had that problem after the Yule Ball during their sixth year. They had dated briefly, although something seemed to be missing. They even shagged once, but there were still no sparks. They decided they were better off as friends, although things were never quite the same between them again. Sure, they remained on friendly terms with one another, but there was still an awkwardness that they just couldn't get past completely after that. They lost touch after leaving Hogwarts, although he had a feeling things might have been different if they'd never gotten involved to begin with.

Hermione frowned. "You don't have to be so crude about it."

George shrugged. "There's worse ways I could have put it." He smirked. "For instance, I could have said something along the lines of 'you could have let him stick his--'"

"I don't want to hear it," Hermione interrupted, turning to look at Fred's body again. "The healer said he's fine medically. I wonder how long it will take until he wakes up. I wonder _if _he'll wake up."

Fred frowned. After talking to her in her dream, she doubted him?

"He will," George said forcefully. "I can't explain it, but there were a few times last night when I felt like there was someone else in the room with me. I don't know if you've ever felt the sensation that someone touched you where nobody was around, but I felt that a few times last night." He frowned. "Of course, I was completely sloshed, so it was probably just my imagination."

Fred made an exasperated sound. How could they both doubt what had happened? He was lying just a few feet away from them, sleeping. True, he might not be in his body yet, but haunting girls in the showers seemed more tempting by the minute. "Don't make me go over there and slap you!" he shouted at them.

George turned to Hermione. "You really should talk to Ron about what happened. Not that I mind you being here. If it weren't for you checking on Fred, I'd probably be in an alcohol induced coma or something right now."

Hermione shook her head. "Maybe not a coma, but you probably would be getting your stomach pumped right about now. I've heard that's not the most pleasant experience in the world."

George made a face. "No, that doesn't sound pleasant." He paused. "Although if the Healer was a cute young thing, maybe stacked and blonde, I wouldn't mind her pumping something else of mine."

Hermione glared at him. "You're a pervert, you know that?"

George laughed. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Idiot."

Fred wondered how long it would take his egg thing to hatch, as he now had a lot to tease Hermione and Ron about. Not to mention that he was so incredibly bored that their little drama was the most interesting thing he could find.

Hermione stood up. "If he wakes up, or if there's any other change…"

George nodded. "I'll let you know."

Hermione smiled. "Thank you," she said before walking out the room.

Since watching his brother sit in his room alone was boring, Fred decided it was better to follow Hermione. Normally he'd stay well out of other peoples' business, but there was nothing to do.

He had been expecting her to seek out Ron and give him the whole 'you're a nice guy, but I'd rather we just be friends' speech. Instead, she went down to Ginny's room, where Ginny and Fleur halted whatever conversation they'd been having as Hermione entered.

"Red or black?" Ginny asked as Hermione started gathering things like clean clothes and a towel.

"What?" Hermione asked, turning around to face Ginny.

"She wants to know what color underwear she should wear on her date with 'Arry," Fleur said.

Fred frowned. "Why does it matter what color your underwear is?" he shouted at Ginny. "He's not going to be seeing it!"

Hermione gave them a look. "Er, Harry asked you out?" she asked Ginny.

Ginny shook her head. "Not yet. He will soon enough though."

Hermione shook her head. "I'm not going to ask. I'd recommend red, but only because black is supposed to be worn only if you want someone else to see your underwear."

Fleur smiled in satisfaction. "Told you."

Ginny frowned. "And if I want him to?"

Hermione sighed. "Still go with red. Black also is supposed to give off the impression that you're willing to do things that would get Harry killed by one of your older brothers."

"Thank you," Fred said to Hermione, even though she couldn't see or hear him. He liked Harry and didn't want to hurt him, but he wasn't going to sit idly by if Harry tried to touch his baby sister.

Ginny chuckled and wagged a finger. "I wouldn't be discussing what color underwear I should wear if I wasn't willing to do certain things. I'm tired of waiting for him, and I have every intention on seducing him."

Fred really wished that he could affect the world around him, or at the very least be heard by someone.

Hermione shook her head. "Still go with red. And you know your brothers would kill him if they found out he was responsible for their baby sister not being a virgin."

Ginny gave Hermione a weird look. "Harry wouldn't be taking my virginity. I already lost it, and it wasn't to him. We haven't slept together yet."

Fred gaped at his little sister. True, he had lost his virginity when he was younger than Ginny, and that had been a rather forgettable experience, but _still_. She was his baby sister and should _not _be doing things like that. He was relieved that she hadn't slept with Harry, but who was this mysterious guy Ginny had lost her virginity to? He might not kill whoever it was who had defiled his sister, but he would certainly make them regret going anywhere near her. Depending on the circumstances, though, he just might kill them after all.

Fleur looked to Ginny. "Should 'Ermione be sworn to secrecy?"

Ginny glanced to her. "Hermione knows what will happen if she repeats anything said in my room. _Especially _to any of my brothers."

Hermione sighed. "'What goes on in Ginny's room stays in Ginny's room.' And I still say to go with red, because you don't want to give Harry the impression that you're easy. Red is still sexy without being slutty."

Ginny made a thoughtful face, and then nodded. "I never thought of it like that. Now how goes your plan to seduce my brother?"

Hermione made an annoyed sound. "I don't plan on seducing any of your brothers, Ginny. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to take a shower." With fresh clothes and a towel in hand, she left Ginny's room, presumably heading to the bathroom.

Fred really didn't want to stick around and listen to whatever discussion Ginny and Fleur were going to have. He did make a mental note to have a very long talk with Ginny once he came back to life about her activities. Until then, he would keep a close eye on her.

He floated lazily outside, noting that Ron seemed to have challenged Harry to a game of two-man Quidditch. He watched them for a bit, chuckling that neither of them were in the least bit aware of their woman problems.

He floated up to the roof, carefully sitting down on it. "I am so bored."

"Yes, well, if you keep hanging around here all the time you will be," Karin said as she hovered on her oar a few feet away.

Fred glanced to her. "I wonder if magic would work on you if I tried to cast a spell."

The ferry girl glanced over to him. "I wouldn't try it, if I were you."

He watched her for a moment. "_Evanesco_," he muttered as he drew out his wand, aiming it at her. Nothing happened. Well, except for him receiving an oar to the head for trying to vanish her clothing.

Karin snorted as she sat down on the roof next to him. "The wand you carry in this form is purely ornamental. Your real wand should be with your body, since it was on you when you died."

Fred sighed. "I suppose that nothing would happen if I gave you one of the Canary Creams I have on me."

"Exactly right," Karin said.

"I'm bored," Fred repeated. He glanced at her. "I've got an idea. We can touch each other like normal, right?" At Karin's confused look, he smirked. He knew he would receive an oar to the head for what he was about to say, but at least that would be something. "We could shag."

Sure enough, her oar was slammed over his head once more.

Karin fumed next to him. "Of all the crude things…" she muttered as she stood up. "You might want to think over your last words to everyone you wish to speak to."

Fred rubbed his head. "Last words?"

"Mm-hmm," she murmured. "Today's your last chance to speak with anyone you know. The rules forbid you from communicating with anyone you're close to while taking the test. Although the rules don't take effect until tomorrow."

Fred frowned and stood up. "And you're only telling me about this now?"

She shrugged. "Would you rather I have waited until tomorrow when it's too late?"

Fred's eye twitched. "You're lucky my wand doesn't work," he muttered.

Karin smiled brightly. "Before midnight tonight, you can visit your loved ones in their dreams if you want. You could also borrow somebody's body for a brief period of time, but there are certain limitations there. They have to be someone you're close to, and they need to have a strong sixth sense."

Fred frowned. "You mean someone with all that 'inner eye' nonsense?"

Karin shook her head. "Not quite, although that is one form that a strong sixth sense could take. Come with me," she instructed, grabbing his hand and pulling him down through the roof.

Before Fred could protest too much, she had dragged him into the room he shared with George. Fred frowned and turned to Karin. "Are you saying that George has a sixth sense?"

Karin smiled and nodded. "Don't you remember when you were little and he would have those nightmares? Or those times when he would just freeze up and shudder for no reason? Or how about how he always instinctively knew how to avoid getting into trouble whenever the two of you snuck around?"

Fred folded his arms across his chest. "Yeah, but how do you know any of that? Have you been stalking us?"

She gave him a flat look. "Everything that a person does is recorded into a book. They are judged based on their actions, and those books are used by us guides to assist us with accompanying a lost spirit to their final destination."

Fred nodded slowly. "So those books record everything, huh?"

"I just said they did," Karin said in annoyance.

Fred made a thoughtful sound. "So the time I masturbated while hiding out under Harry's invisibility cloak in the girls' shower room is in there?"

Karin made a face. "Yes it is," she said shortly. "Now would you _focus_?"

Fred chuckled and looked to George, who was sitting on his bed in silence. "A sixth sense, huh? Is that why he could feel me before?"

Karin nodded. "I normally would have passed it off as just him being attuned to you, but the fact that he reacted when I hit him with the oar showed that it was more than that. And then I did some checking up on him."

Fred made a thoughtful face. "So if I possessed him, I could affect things like I normally would, right?"

She nodded again. "You'd only have half an hour. That's all his body could take."

Fred made a humming noise. "And I suppose this is a one time deal, isn't it?"

"Exactly," she replied.

Fred turned to her. "Maybe later tonight. I've got to figure out what I'd do in his body first. But you'll have to excuse me, because right now there's a girl in the shower I could peep in on."

He rubbed his head after the oar was slammed down over it again.

--- --- ---

Fred looked over at his twin, who was still sitting on his bed watching over Fred's body. Hermione had once again joined George in his vigil, much to Fred's bafflement. There were plenty of places where Hermione could hide if she wanted to avoid Ron. He personally thought it would be better for her to tell Ron just how she felt, because the sooner she did the better. Maybe that would be one of the things he told her once he possessed George.

Fred turned to Karin, who was standing next to him. "So what am I supposed to do once I can't talk to anyone?"

"I never said you couldn't," she replied. "You just can't talk to anyone you were close to. There's a difference."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Half an hour, huh? I wonder if that's enough time. And you said he won't remember anything that happens when I possess him?"

"Exactly," Karin said. "Although I would recommend not doing anything stupid while in his body. He'll have to deal with the consequences, you know."

Fred smirked. "I know." He paused. "I wonder if anyone would be able to tell the difference between us?" he mused out loud.

Shrugging, he floated closer to his brother, who shivered.

Hermione frowned and glanced to George. "What's wrong, George?"

George shook his head. "I'm not sure. Just the feeling that there's someone else here, I guess."

"Are you going to do it?" Karin asked Fred, who nodded. She smiled and raised a hand. George froze, his body stiffening. "Now's your chance," Karin said.

Fred had to admit that the sensation of stepping into his twin's body was weird. It was like diving into icy cold water. Once the initial weirdness wore off, possessing George's body had the feeling of wearing an unfamiliar outfit.

"George?" Hermione asked. "Are you all right?"

Fred turned to her and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine." He stood up and dragged her to her feet as well. "You know, it'll be a while until I, er, until he wakes up, so why don't we take off and find something better to do?"

Hermione gave him a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

Fred smirked. "First off, it'd be better of you just gave Ron the 'let's be friends' speech instead of hanging out here with me. I am being rather boring at the moment, after all. Maybe I should spike the drinks with this excellent potion me and Ge-- er, _Fred _came up with. It's supposed to cause one to have musical burps." He was glad he caught his slip in time, although it was weird referring to himself in the third person.

He started walking to the door, very thankful that he wasn't _floating_, but was stopped as Hermione grabbed his wrist.

"I thought you didn't want to leave his side in case Fred wakes up," she said, giving him a scrutinizing look.

Fred shrugged. "He'll be fine. He's not going to wake up before we get back."

Hermione sighed. "Do you mind if I stay here?"

He frowned. "You can stay, but you really should talk to Ron soon. The sooner you talk to him the better. Hiding out from him won't help."

Hermione frowned. "But what if I'm wrong? What if I'm not supposed to feel anything when I kiss someone?"

Fred let out an exasperated sound. "If you don't feel anything for someone when you kiss them, you probably shouldn't kiss them again." He didn't have much time, and the way she held his -- well, George's -- wrist made it obvious she didn't want him to leave just yet. "_Especially _if it could ruin a friendship if it continued for too long."

Hermione gave him a searching look. "But isn't it possible that I might develop feelings later down the road? I could grow to think of him that way, after all. I mean, I already thought I did."

Fred sighed. It appeared that they weren't going anywhere anytime soon. "You can't force yourself to feel a certain way, and it's not fair to pretend to feel something you don't. I'm pretty sure Ron's fancied you for a while, but if you don't think of him that way, you owe it to him and your friendship to let him know that. Let him down early and gently before whatever feelings he has for you can grow." He hated being that serious for that long, but he had little choice. He didn't have much time to joke around. He still had to confront his sister and possibly Harry. And he had to pass on the message that he was, for sure, returning. He just didn't know when.

Hermione sighed. "I think I understand what you're saying. I just--"

"Hermione," Fred interrupted before she could start doubting again. "You're a smart girl. I know from personal experience that if you let things go any further you stand a real chance at damaging your friendship with him forever. Don't let it get to that point."

Hermione slowly nodded. "I suppose you're right." She let go of his -- George's -- wrist. "I'm not here just to hide from Ron, though." She looked over at Fred's sleeping body. "I just… I want to be here when Fred wakes up. He shouldn't be like this in the first place."

Fred sighed. "Trust me when I say we can leave me-- er, _him_-- alone for the next half an hour and he'll remain just as he is now."

Hermione gave him a scrutinizing look again. For a moment, Fred worried that she had figured out that he wasn't George. He had decided that it was best if he pretended to be George, if only to simplify his twin's life afterwards. He watched her nervously as she stepped toward him and placed her hands on his -- well, George's -- shoulders.

"The personal experience you mentioned," she said slowly. "That wasn't _us _you were referring to, was it?"

Fred blinked. "Er, what?"

Hermione smiled coyly. "You remember, don't you? The times we would sneak around to meet with one another? After Fred had gone to sleep how you would meet me with me and we'd go off somewhere more private? You remember what we used to have, don't you?"

Fred had no idea that George and Hermione had ever been involved with one another, but would play along. "Er… Um… Yeah, I remember… It was supposed to be a secret from everyone else, right?"

Hermione nodded. Fred was far too aware of how close she was. Not that he was complaining, but something about the situation screamed out that it was just plain wrong. Probably because he was in his brother's body, and she had no idea of that.

Hermione slowly trailed a finger down his arm. "Do you remember what you said to me after we made love for the first time?"

Fred's eyes widened. Well, they were George's eyes technically, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. George and Hermione had slept together? "Er, of course I remember," he stammered, hoping that she wouldn't ask him to repeat whatever it was that George had said to her. "Why wouldn't I?"

Hermione laughed and stepped back. "Because it never happened, _Fred_." She shook her head. "I don't know how or why you're in George's body, but I know it's you."

Fred blinked. "How?" was all he could think to ask.

Hermione smiled. "You slipped on your pronoun usage a few times. In addition, George usually refers to me by my last name. You don't. I'm not stupid, Fred."

Fred nodded. "No, you're not. And just so we're clear…?"

"There was never anything going on between George and I," Hermione answered. She paused. "I suppose you don't have a lot of time here, so I'll help you if you want."

Fred tilted his head in curiosity. "Help me?"

She smiled. "Spike the drinks with the potion you were talking about."

Fred smiled. "Ah, the harmonically burping potion. We never did come up with a good name for it."

Hermione made a face. "Keep in mind this is the _only _time I'll help you pull off such a childish prank. Personally, I find it to be incredibly immature, but I imagine you want to do something while you still can. And nobody would drink anything you've been near, whether in your own body or George's."

Fred smiled and grabbed a vial out of the dresser drawer. He began walking towards the door. It was good to walk and not float. "Thanks, Hermione."

She followed him. "Don't mention it, Fred. I mean it."

He supposed he was far too used to moving through walls recently, as he momentarily forgot that he wouldn't be able to do that in George's body. "Ow!" he groaned as he placed a hand to George's sore nose.

Hermione laughed. "I don't think George will like it if you abuse his body too much while you're in it."

Fred glared at the door as he backed up a few paces. He turned to Hermione and smirked. "You know, if we really wanted to confuse him, I can think of a few compromising positions we could be in when he gets his body back."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Tempting, but I'll pass." She brushed past him and reached for the doorknob. She paused. "Once you're back in your own body, maybe then we'll talk," she said, chuckling as she walked out.

Fred stuck his tongue out at her as he followed her out of his room. He wasn't sure how she would address him, exactly, and he probably should have come up with something good to say to everyone. Well, he didn't have to say the same thing to everyone, but he did need to let people know that he was coming back for sure, and not to worry.

Fred smirked as he passed Fleur on the way downstairs, remembering watching her struggle to decipher the results of her pregnancy test. "Red's always been such a positive color, don't you think? Not like blue, which is just so negative." He inwardly grinned as Fleur froze and glared at him.

Hermione gave him a baffled look as they continued their descent. "What are you talking about?"

Fred chuckled as they ended up at the foot of the stairs. "Nothing. And, er…" He looked around to make sure nobody was around or within earshot, and then leaned toward Hermione. "Just refer to me as George to avoid confusion," he whispered in her ear. "I don't know how long it will take for me to come back for good, but I will come back."

Hermione nodded in acknowledgment. "Will you tell me what happened?" she asked.

Fred paused. It was a long story, and he didn't think he'd have enough time to tell it. He'd wasted too much time as it was. "Later," he said, pulling back from her and passing her the vial of potion.

Hermione nodded, and they continued to the kitchen.

His mother was cooking, while Ron and Harry had apparently been recruited to set the table. Fred wondered if Harry knew that Ginny was plotting to seduce him. He mentally debated whether to give him warning or not. After all, Ginny could be quite devious, and once she'd made up her mind on something it was almost impossible to deter her. Warning Harry might give him time to build up a defense to her wiles. On the other hand, she was his baby sister, and there were just some things his baby sister should not be doing. If he warned Harry, the Boy-Who-Refused-To-Die might decide to take Ginny up on her offer. Harry was an almost eighteen-year-old boy, after all. When Fred was eighteen, he certainly would not have said no to a girl trying to seduce him. Well, not unless there was something seriously wrong with her, like if she was just plain ugly or a Slytherin or something.

Perhaps a brotherly warning would be best. Nodding, Fred decided to do just that. "Harry?" he called out. The Boy-With-The-Scar looked up at him. "Just a warning, but stay away from Ginny."

Harry blinked. "Er, can I ask why?"

Fred shrugged. "She's up to something," he said, not wanting to go into further detail.

Hermione scoffed as she grabbed the pitcher of pumpkin juice off the counter and brought it over to the table. She surreptitiously dumped the contents of the vial into it before placing it on the table. "Ginny's always up to something."

"I'm just saying," Fred said airily.

Ron gave him a weird look. "I thought you were keeping vigil over Fred."

He shrugged. "It'll be a while before he wakes up. Not sure how long exactly, but he doesn't want anyone to worry about him. He's definitely going to wake up." He wandered toward where his mother was cooking, and grabbed a slice of ham off a serving plate on the counter. "How long 'til dinner?" he asked, chewing on the meat.

His mother frowned and shooed him away from where she was cooking. "It won't be much longer. If you want to make yourself useful you can start moving the dishes from the counter to the table like the others are doing."

Fred chuckled. "You know what this 'Fred's Not Dead' party needs? Fireworks. And singing gnomes. With musical accompaniment by the ghoul playing the kazoo. And maybe some scantily clad models dancing along." He paused. "On second thought, I think Fred would like it more if the models came for his 'Welcome Back' party. He'll wake up soon."

He laughed and dodged a dishtowel thrown at him by his mother.

Harry looked at him oddly. "What's with the cheeriness all of a sudden? I know you're glad that Fred's alive, but the healer did also say that he might never wake up at all."

Fred smirked and wagged a finger. "I know for a fact that it's absolutely certain that Fred will wake up. I can't say when exactly, but he will."

His mother sighed and looked up at the family clock. "Your brothers Bill and Charlie should be getting back from Hogwarts within the hour." She frowned. "That's odd…"

Fred glanced up to the clock. He had noticed that morning how his hand had been at 'lost', which he supposed was only fitting. Right now, though, it was at 'home'. Karin hadn't really explained what happened to George when he was in his body, but George was pointing at 'home' as well, so supposed it didn't really matter. He'd get answers from the strange purple haired girl later.

Fred glanced to his mother. "It's not odd, mum," he said quietly. He doubted that anyone would believe him if he outright told them who he really was. George had taken his death the hardest, after all. They might think George was crazy and send him off to St. Mungo's or something. "I-- Fred's here, I know. He's just not able to wake up yet because of something he has to take care of first."

Everybody turned to him. Normally he liked being the center of attention. In this case it just seemed different somehow. "There's not enough time to explain, but he will once he comes back."

His mother watched him for a moment, and then shook her head, turning back to her cooking. "How long do you think it will be?" she asked in an inscrutable voice.

Fred shrugged. "Soon, I hope. They didn't quite say how long it would take."

Ron looked at him curiously. "Who's 'they'?" he asked as he poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice.

Fred froze. He didn't want to waste time explaining. "Er, he'll tell you once he wakes up." He had a feeling that there was a lot of explaining he'd have to do once he came back to life. He went over to the counter and grabbed another slice of ham off the serving plate. "I'm just going to see how everyone else is doing while I still can."

He quickly left the kitchen, snickering slightly as Ron began to burp an off-key tune that sounded like it might have been a children's song. He was disappointed that he wouldn't be able to see Bill and Charlie, and it was unlikely that Percy or his father would get back from the Ministry before he had to leave George's body, but at least he'd been able to speak with everyone else. Well, except for Ginny.

He went up the stairs to her door. He knew well enough to knock, because the last time either he or George had entered her room uninvited she had hexed them. Of course, that was probably because they had decided her room made a better chicken coop than the actual chicken coop, but the fact that it had been _before _she started school was rather impressive. Fred still wondered how she got a hold of Percy's wand.

Ginny opened the door slightly to peer out at him. "I don't have any Firewhisky, George, so don't ask."

Fred blinked. Had _Ginny _supplied George with all that Firewhisky?! "Er, I'm not here for that. I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."

Ginny sighed. Fred noted that she was hiding her body behind the door. "Make it quick," she said.

He frowned. "Are you going to let me in?"

"Hell no," she replied. "Whatever you have to say can be said right here."

Fred's eye twitched. "Ginny, I know that as you get older you'll have these urges to seduce guys you've lusted after for years--" He took a step back as the door was slammed in his face. That probably could have gone a lot better. He knocked on the door again.

"Go away!" Ginny yelled at him.

Fred sighed. "I'm just concerned about your virtue," he called to her through the door. "I know you're planning on shagging Harry, and I think you should reconsider."

"What are you doing?" Hermione hissed at him from a few feet away. He looked to her in surprise. He hadn't been aware that she'd followed him.

"I'm just trying to get her to rethink her plan to seducing Harry," he explained, pointing to Ginny's door.

Hermione made an exasperated sound, and walked up to him. "Let's go to your room, _now_," she ordered.

Fred blinked, and then smirked lasciviously. "I know you're eager, Hermione, but--"

Ginny's door opened, and she poked her head out again. "Not like it's any of your business, George, but you needn't be concerned about my virtue. Harry would not be my first. He wouldn't even be my second."

Fred frowned. He already knew from what he'd overheard that his sister had admitted that she wasn't a virgin, but from the way it sounded, she'd already slept with two guys. "What?" he said brilliantly.

"Three," Ginny said angrily. "If you must know, that's how many people I've slept with." She slammed the door shut again. "And that's probably three more than you have, because your hand doesn't count!" she called to him through the door.

Fred frowned and knocked on her door. "Ginny, open the door!"

Hermione scowled and pushed him away from Ginny's door. "Leave her alone, come on."

Fred wasn't very happy at his little sister at the moment, but allowed Hermione to lead him back to his room. Well, 'pushed him' might be the more appropriate term.

As they re-entered his room, a glance to the clock on the dresser showed that he really didn't have much time left in George's body. He swore softly and sat down on George's bed. "After today," he said to Hermione as she closed the door behind her, "I won't be able to communicate with anyone."

Hermione frowned and walked over to him. "That doesn't give you the right to talk to your sister like that. How did you even know what she was planning?"

Fred shrugged. "After you left George earlier today, I followed you into Ginny's room. I was hoping that you'd talk to Ron about what you said about the non-feeling thing, but overheard the red versus black conversation."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That still doesn't give you the right. And are you trying to say you were _spying _on us?"

Fred frowned. "You make it sound so bad. Do you have any idea how _boring _it is not to be able to interact with anyone or anything? It'd be one thing if the lot of you were more entertaining, but I'm stuck watching these pseudo-melodramas. What's worse is I've got no idea how long it will be. It could be days, or weeks. Maybe even months, although I hope it won't take that long."

Hermione stared at him for a moment. In the momentary silence, they could hear Fred's mother downstairs shouting at Ron for burping. Hermione laughed as the sound of Ron's burping grew louder and more off-key. "So how long will that last?" she asked.

Fred smiled. "Since you dumped the entire contents of the vial into the pumpkin juice, he'll be burping for half the night."

Hermione laughed. They could hear Harry had joined in as well.

Fred made a thoughtful face. "Maybe we should have made an antidote…" he mused out loud before shrugging.

Hermione laughed harder. "How long do you think it'll take for someone to realize it's the juice?"

Fred smirked. "Hopefully nobody will. It'd certainly be interesting to hear an entire orchestra going."

Since the window of the twins' room was open, they could clearly hear the boys go outside, burping a duet of some sort. Hermione clung onto him for balance. "You are incredibly immature, you know that?" she asked between laughs, looking up at him.

Fred grinned. "I'm not the one who can barely contain myself, now am I? And I seem to recall that _you _were the one who spiked their drinks."

"It really is quite thrilling, isn't it?" she asked.

"Now you know why we're so fond of pranking people," Fred replied.

Hermione looked up at him. As the burping outside became a bit operatic in its melody, Hermione laughed again, leaning into him.

Fred glanced to the clock on the dresser, realizing he had less than a minute left. In his distraction, he failed to notice just how close they were until he felt Hermione place her lips against his.

To say he was surprised was an understatement. Hermione was… Hermione. Forget being the smartest witch of her year, she was the smartest witch that he knew. Period. Why a girl like her would kiss him was something he did not know. He supposed it was temporary insanity on her part.

That was his rationale for why he kissed her back, at least. He knew it wasn't a good idea, and would only complicate things. But he liked kissing her, so placed his hands on her sides and deepened the kiss.

He was surprised again when he felt her slip her tongue into his mouth. Except it wasn't really his mouth, and he was slipping out of George's body, and then he was floating in front of him, watching as his twin pulled back in extreme surprise and confusion.

"What the…?" George stared at Hermione, eyes wide and face bright red.

Realization quickly dawned on Hermione's face. "Er, side effect of some product you were testing," she lied lamely, turning away from him, her face red as well.

Fred chuckled.

"Not the most intelligent move on either of your parts," Karin stated, standing next to Fred, who turned to her.

"It wasn't like I planned that or anything," he said, turning back to watch as George moved away from Hermione, obviously trying to figure out just what happened. He himself was still trying to figure it out. "Where've you been, anyway?"

"I thought it best if you couldn't see or hear me," Karin said. "It would be strange if you could see something that others can't."

"Where was George? You never did explain that."

Karin smiled. "Don't worry about that. It was just like he was asleep or unconscious."

Fred nodded, and then smiled. "It's too bad. If only she'd agreed, we could have been in a far more compromising position when George 'woke up'."

He rubbed his head as the oar connected once more.


	3. 03 Strive to be Number One

**Chapter 3**: Strive to be Number One  
[_May 12-15, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred was determined not to agonize over the kiss that happened between him and Hermione a week ago. Mainly because he didn't want things to get awkward between them. Well, he wasn't alive yet, so he didn't think that things could get awkward anytime soon. Not until he came back to life, at least. He decided it was best to just leave it at 'things are complicated' rather than think about it too much. Even if had been quite enjoyable.

Fred looked at the golden egg he had been given as he floated lazily over the village of Ottery St. Catchpole. It was boring to just spy on his family all the time, so he had opted to take Karin's advice and spy on other people. So far he found that boring, too.

"So how long will this thing take to hatch, anyway?" he asked Karin, who hovered on her oar nearby.

"Hmm?" She glanced to him, and then made a thoughtful face, putting a finger to her mouth. "Well, normally it takes about 120 years, but--"

"120 _years_?!" Fred exclaimed, eyes growing wide.

Karin waved a hand in front of her. "Relax, it won't take that long in your case. A spirit beast feeds off the energy emitted from a human soul. Since a spirit is a pure soul, your beast will develop rather quickly."

Fred raised the egg so it was level with his eye. It was softly glowing. "So what kind of beast is in this, anyway?"

Karin smiled mysteriously. "I guess we'll find out once it hatches."

Fred glared at her briefly, and then looked down to the village below. "It looks like school's getting out for the day," he said, gesturing to the small school in the village. He'd never been to the Muggle school, having been home-schooled before going to Hogwarts, but he was aware that his hometown had one.

Karin glanced down at the school, where several children of all ages were leaving. "It contains both a primary school and a secondary school, doesn't it?" she asked.

Fred shrugged. "I never went here." He smirked. "I think they were too afraid of what happened if me and George went there. Probably thought we'd blow the place up." He frowned. "What's wrong with that girl?"

"Which one?" Karin asked, scanning the crowd.

Fred pointed out the girl he was referring to. "The one surrounded by all those shadows."

Karin frowned as she saw the girl in question. "That's not good…" She turned to Fred. "There's a curse on the girl."

Fred turned to her. "A curse? So some witch or wizard placed a curse on her?"

Karin shook her head. "It's not quite like the magic you're used to. There are Muggles who have been known to practice something they call magic. Through use of rituals or incantations they might produce some sort of effect. I suppose whether something actually happens has to do with the strength of their belief." She looked back to the girl. "Usually their 'magic' has more to do with protection or luck or love. Minor things that people can bring about themselves. By believing it works, it does."

Fred frowned. "So it's a confidence booster?"

"In a way," Karin said. "When a human's emotions are particularly strong, sometimes those emotions can take on a life of their own, attracting spirits that can assist them in making what they seek a reality. So if a person is trying to curse another, if their feelings are strong enough, those feelings will attract malevolent spirits that help make it happen. The person who cursed this girl might never be able to cast even the simplest of spells, but their ill will towards this girl is so strong that it cursed her."

Fred still wasn't quite sure just how a Muggle was able to use magic, even if it did sound different from the magic he used. Then again, there was a lot he didn't know.

He hadn't known that there were spirits like himself that couldn't be seen by wizards. It had been explained to him that ghosts were permanently stuck in the human realm, having no chance at moving on to the afterlife except in extreme circumstances. He was considered a restless spirit, still in limbo. He had the ability to move on, because he hadn't made the choice to stay behind as a ghost. Restless spirits might linger in the human realm due to unfinished business or whatever, but they could still journey to the afterlife once they had completed what they needed to.

Fred floated down to the girl to get a closer look. It wasn't really any of his business, but he was curious as to how a Muggle could curse her.

She was walking down the street, reading a book. As she approached the crosswalk of an intersection, she paused to look both ways.

The village might be small, but there was still traffic. Fred remembered how much he and George had been yelled at when they were seven and decided to play a game of 'chicken' in the street. They'd been grounded for the rest of the summer, and weren't allowed back into the village until they both proved that they had learned how astronomically stupid it was to stand in the middle of the road while cars approached. Even then, they were under almost constant supervision until they had gotten much older.

After looking for oncoming traffic, the girl stepped out into the street. Fred frowned, as he could see a truck coming her way.

"Mary, look out!" another girl shouted, running towards her from the sidewalk.

The cursed girl, Mary, looked up from her book again, eyes widening. The driver of the truck slammed on the brakes, and the other girl was able to pull Mary back out of the truck's way before she was hit.

Mary placed a hand over her heart, trying to calm herself. "But I could swear that there was nothing coming…" she said in a daze.

The other girl, a dark haired girl of around the same age, turned her head to watch the truck as it continued down the street. "If you ask me," she said as she took hold of Mary's wrist, "you're probably just exhausted from all that studying you do."

Mary nodded as she let the other girl lead her across the street. "It's true that I haven't been getting much sleep lately…"

The other girl smiled. "You should probably ease off a bit. What's the point if you make yourself sick?"

Mary smiled back. "I suppose you're right, Elizabeth. But the test is only a couple days away, so there's not much time left. After the test, then things will settle down."

It was barely noticeable, but Fred could see Elizabeth's smile had faltered just a little. "Why don't I walk you home?" she told Mary.

Fred floated after them, with Karin slowly riding her oar next to him. "She didn't see the truck because she was tired from _studying_?" he asked in disbelief.

Karin shook her head. "It might have to do with the curse. Curses like that work in subtle ways, unlike the magic you're used to. I suppose that's why that kind of magic is usually dismissed as coincidence if it works. It's a very subtle kind of magic."

Fred glanced to her. "I didn't know there were different types of magic."

Karin nodded. "Modern magic is very different than the magic of old. The magic you use is something that one must be born with the talent for. The subtle magic like what was used to curse her is something anyone can do, and is a bit more like the magic of ancient times than what you use is."

Mary's room wasn't very personalized. It was extremely tidy, with everything in its place. There were no posters or any other sort of decorations. A glance to the bookshelves lining the walls showed the books were sorted according to subject and alphabetized.

Fred let out a low whistle. "Looks like she's Hermione's long lost twin or something," he mused aloud.

Karin glanced at him. "What are you on about?"

Fred shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Why did we follow her here?"

She frowned. "You were the one who wanted to follow her!"

He shrugged. "Yeah, but that was because I'd hoped to figure out some clue on how to break the curse."

He glanced over to Mary, who was sitting at her desk, reading and taking notes. Everything seemed relatively normal, except for a cold feeling he had, like there was something else present…

Mary shivered, and the pencil in her hand stopped moving. She set it down on top of her notebook and turned around. "I-is someone there?" she called out into the empty room.

"Can she sense us?" Fred asked.

Karin shook her head. "It's not us. She's being haunted."

Mary looked around for a brief period, and then sighed. "Just my imagination. Maybe I have been studying too hard," she muttered to herself as she turned back around to her desk. She glanced to a small mirror on her desk and gazed into it. Behind her reflection, a ghostly image of a figure appeared. The figure's eyes were wide and had dark rings around them. "I probably even have dark circles under my ey-- Aiiiiiii!" Mary shrieked, falling backwards out of her chair.

Fred frowned as he approached the desk. The figure disappeared, and the other presence he felt vanished. He turned to Karin. "Is this related to the curse?"

Karin made a thoughtful face. "Maybe…" She placed a finger on her mouth. "This is most unusual, but that pretty much goes without saying. I guess we'll find out more later." She looked down to Mary, who appeared to have fainted on the floor. "She should be fine for now, and there's no point in entering her dreams yet. What's more important is to find out just who it was that put the curse on her."

Fred nodded in agreement. "So we'll be following her around and watching the people around her closely."

--- --- ---

Fred floated lazily in the back of Mary's classroom, trying to determine just who would put a curse on her. He could see that she was looking rather exhausted and miserable, even though she was trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. He drifted around, studying her classmates. That was when he felt the other presence.

He saw a boy floating behind her, with dark circles around his wide eyes. The ghostly boy didn't seem to notice Fred, fixated on Mary. Fred frowned and went over to the boy, punching him in the back of the head to get his attention. "What do you think you're doing?" he growled. "Can't you just leave this girl alone?"

The boy turned around to face Fred, holding the back of his head. "You don't understand," he said. "I'm trying to protect her. I guess I was called here because of the curse on her."

Fred's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

The boy sighed. "Another girl has a piece of paper with some weird symbols on it. I suppose it's some sort of curse or something, fueled by her malice. The strength of her feelings is what drew me here." He looked to Mary. "I think it has something to do with the scholarship."

Fred frowned. "What scholarship?"

The boy turned back to him. "She's competing against the girl she believes is her best friend for a scholarship to an elite university. Only one of them can get it. I suppose the girl she believes is her best friend wants her to fail, and is using any method to make sure she does." He looked to Mary once more. "After I died, I was just so angry with everything, but after meeting her… She has such a warm heart…"

Fred raised an eyebrow, and then smirked. "You fancy her?"

The boy raised his hands. "It's not like that! When I was a student five years ago, the pressure of getting a scholarship into a good university got to me so much that I committed suicide. I regret it now. Meeting her helped me to realize just how selfish I really was. I want to warn her of the danger she's in."

Fred made a thoughtful face. "You said the person who placed this curse on her is her so-called best friend?"

The boy nodded.

--- --- ---

During the break between classes, Fred followed Mary and a friend of hers into the girls' restroom, as did the strange ghost boy. Fred gave the ghost boy a questioning look. "You'll follow her even here? What are you, some kind of pervert?"

The boy frowned. "You're a pervert too, then."

Fred shrugged. "Never said I wasn't."

"You said you saw a ghost?!" Mary's friend exclaimed as they stood in front of the mirrors by the sinks.

"Not so loud!" Mary scolded. "But yes, I'm pretty sure."

"Why don't you tell Elizabeth?" the friend asked. "She's into that kind of stuff. I'm sure she could frighten even the scariest ghost away."

Mary shook her head. "I can't bother her with something like this. The test is just a week away, and I don't want to put any more pressure on her than there already is."

The other girl frowned. "But aren't you competing against her?"

Mary shrugged. "I don't like the idea of competing against her… That's why I don't want to distract her with something like this. She takes things like this seriously, and I want her to do her best. I'm sure she'd want the same of me."

The other girl sighed and shook her head. "You're too soft sometimes."

Mary smiled. "How else would I be able to compete with a friend?"

The two girls left the restroom. Fred and the ghost boy were about to follow them out when Elizabeth stepped out of one of the bathroom stalls.

"Mary…" she said, looking at the closed restroom door. "What have I done…?" she mused out loud. She shakily reached a hand into her pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. She stared at it for a moment before ripping it up. "I'm so sorry…"

The ghost boy smiled. "Good, she tore it up."

Fred turned to him. "The curse?"

The boy nodded and smiled. "I'm glad she realized her mistake before it was too late."

"What are you perverts doing in the girls' restroom?" Karin asked as she flew into the room on her oar.

Fred smirked. "Peeping on girls for cheap thrills," he replied, not missing a beat. He rubbed his head as the oar connected with it once more.

The ghost boy's eyes somehow grew wider. "So violent…" He shook his head, and then turned to Fred. "You look familiar."

Fred shrugged as they floated out of the restroom. "I grew up around here, a little ways outside the village."

The boy frowned in thought. "I know there's some strange family of redheads that live just outside the village. The Badgers, or something…?"

Fred frowned. "The Weasleys," he corrected.

"I knew it was something like that," the boy said, snapping his fingers. "I'm Mike. Mike Meyers. And before you say it, I'm fully aware that there's a horror movie character with a similar sounding name. I was born _before _that movie was made. And no, I was _not _born on Halloween."

Fred had no idea what he was talking about, although Karin seemed to.

"I've seen that movie!" she exclaimed. "Its sequels are rather disappointing, but the first was truly a classic."

Mike frowned. "As far as slasher flicks go, I've always preferred the 'Friday the 13th' series. There's more naked chicks in them." He ducked the flying oar as he bent down to tie his shoelace. "One would think that being a ghost meant one's shoes would stay tied, but no…"

Fred chuckled as they floated back into Mary's classroom. "Shouldn't you be moving on to the afterlife?"

Mike turned to him after successfully re-tying his shoe. "Probably. But if you don't mind me asking, why are you still here among the living world?"

Fred shrugged. "I'm trying to come back to life."

Mike clasped his hands together. "I envy you…" He shook his head. "I wish I could come back to life, but I know I can't."

"That's right. You can't," Karin said tersely. "You really should move on."

"But it's not fair!" Mike cried. "There's so much I had yet to experience! I hadn't even kissed a girl before I died!" He turned to Karin. "Are you sure I can't come back to life? Even briefly? I don't want to die a virgin!"

Karin gave him a flat look. "You're already dead, and no."

Fred chuckled, and then turned to look around the classroom. He frowned as he saw that Mary still had the dark shadows around her. "Er, should she still have the curse on her if that Elizabeth girl ripped up the curse paper?"

Karin and Mike both turned to see that Mary did, indeed, have the shadows around her still. Karin frowned deeply. "I was afraid of that… The curse must be out of Elizabeth's control." She turned to the two dead boys. "As I said, sometimes spirits will assist humans trying to perform magic like this. I'm guessing that the evil spirits attracted to the power of the curse still want to carry it out, even though Elizabeth wants to end it."

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Fred asked. "If the curse is still on her, she could get hurt!"

Karin shook her head. "Only Elizabeth can end it for good. All we can do now is wait and see how things play out."

Fred frowned and folded his arms across his chest. He was extremely impatient at times, and hated waiting.

--- --- ---

"So you're a wizard?" Mike asked as they floated down the street, following Mary and Elizabeth. Fred had decided that even though Mike had been a Muggle in life, there was no harm in telling him about the world of magic since he was dead now. Besides, it had become obvious to Fred that Mike did not intend to move on anytime soon, and he didn't really feel like trying to hide it when Mike had asked about what he had done in life. "That's pretty cool. Does that mean you can cast spells to flip up girls' skirts? Or make their clothes vanish?"

Fred paused, making a face. "Er, I suppose I _could_…" He figured there was no point in mentioning that using magic for something like that was likely to get one hexed or arrested. He didn't think Mike would listen to that part.

Mike smiled. "Wicked! Are female wizards hot?"

"Witches," Fred corrected. "And I guess it depends on the girl, really."

"I'll bet that they can cast spells to get humongous boobs, can't they?" Mike asked.

Karin made a sound of annoyance. "Can you guys please talk about something else?"

Mike turned to her. "Why are you wearing a kimono, anyway? You don't look Japanese, and it makes you look flat-chested." He held his head in pain after the oar was slammed into it.

Fred chuckled. He was glad to have someone other than Karin to talk to, even if Mike was a pervert. He would bet anything that Mike frequently spied on girls in the shower.

As they approached an intersection, Elizabeth went one way, and Mary went another. With a glance to Mike, they nodded. They would split up from there to follow the girls individually. Mike would follow Elizabeth while Fred followed Mary. Karin would stay with Fred for the time being, but would fetch Mike with Elizabeth in case anything happened that required intervention.

Fred didn't trust the dark shadows that surrounded Mary. They seemed to shift around almost malevolently. He knew now that they were the embodiment of the evil spirits that had been formed by Elizabeth's malice, but had no idea how to get rid of them.

As he followed her through the streets, he frowned when he realized she wasn't healing in the direction of her house. It seemed almost like she was in a trance of some kind, not paying attention to her surroundings. He knew differently, though. She wasn't walking around aimlessly, although the expression on her face would indicate otherwise. She was being led somewhere.

"If it comes down to it," he turned to Karin, "would I be able to fight the evil spirits?"

"You could try," Karin said. "Although your magic won't work. I told you that your wand is purely ornamental."

Fred nodded, watching Mary carefully. "I know that. Get Mike and Elizabeth. I think the spirits are leading her somewhere."

Karin turned to him in alarm. "Where?"

Fred's frown deepened. "There's a small lake at the outskirts of the village. We're heading in that direction."

Without another word, Karin turned around on her oar, zooming off in the direction that Elizabeth and Mike had gone.

Fred remembered going to the lake when he was younger. In the summer, he would occasionally go there with his family to go swimming and socialize with other children from the village. He and George had always been under strict instructions not to try anything funny, and not to use magic. They hadn't always listened.

During the winter, the lake would freeze over, and people would go ice-skating. Fred was absolutely horrible at ice-skating, although George wasn't. Then again, George had forced himself to learn after developing a crush on an older girl he was trying to impress at the time. It was rather funny, and something that Fred would still tease him about years later. There was no way his twin would have stood a chance with her, as George had been nine at the time, and the girl had been at least sixteen.

But now was not the time to reminisce. Mary was heading toward the lake, and Fred didn't think it was of her own volition. He knew he couldn't affect his surroundings in any way, so he really hoped that Mike and Karin were somehow able to get Elizabeth to come to the lake and do something. There were supposed to be ways for spirits like them to communicate with the living, after all, even if it was in minor ways.

All he could do now was try to fight the evil spirits if he had to. He had no idea _how_, but he would try to cause as long of a delay as possible.

As the lake came into view, Mary seemed to snap out of her stupor. "How did I end up here?" she mused out loud. She screamed as she was yanked towards the pond.

Fred swore as he saw the dark shadows gather around her wrist, dragging her towards the water. "Let her go!" he shouted, rushing towards the dark shadows.

"She belongs to us," a low voice said, oozing with malevolence. Fred supposed it came from the dark shadows of the evil spirits.

Fred maneuvered himself between the shadows and the lake, spreading his arms out to try to stop them from pulling her in. "Stay back!" he yelled. He doubted that punching the shadows would work. He supposed he could ask Karin the difference between all the kinds of spirits there were out there, but now was not the time to think about such things.

"Out of the way," the voice repeated. "Or else we'll devour you."

Fred refused to back down as the shadows advanced upon him, pulling a screaming Mary along with them. He tried to push against the shadows, which had increased in size to the point where he could see no end to them, but was overwhelmed.

"Mary!" Elizabeth screamed, running towards them.

"Why try to save her? You were the one who wanted her out of the way," the evil voice said.

"I didn't understand!" Elizabeth shouted, grabbing a hold of Mary as her friend was dragged. "I made a mistake!"

"It's too late," the voice said, dragging both girls towards the lake.

"No!" Elizabeth shouted, tears streaming down her face.

"Your jealousy led you to forging the curse against your rival. Your heart summoned us to fulfill the curse," the voice said.

"I didn't know!" Elizabeth screamed. "All our lives, I was always second best! Everybody told me that I had to be the best! But I was wrong to be jealous! I don't want this!" She pulled on her friend harder, her eyes closed tight. "I don't care what happens to me, just LET HER GO!"

With a final tug, both girls ended up in a heap on the ground.

The dark shadows around Mary were gone. Elizabeth and Mary straightened up into kneeling positions. "You saved me," Mary said.

Elizabeth shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "No. You saved me," she said, hugging her friend. "I'm so sorry…" she sobbed.

Karin smiled. "It looks like the curse is broken."

Mike nodded sagely. "So they'll be all right." He turned to Karin. "Er, where'd Fred go?"

"Bloody hell," Fred muttered, seeing the world was upside down. "Where the hell am I?" he asked nobody in particular as he straightened up and saw the ground was far, far below him.

--- --- ---

Fred watched on as Mary and Elizabeth stood in the office of the guidance counselor. He was glad the curse was broken, but mildly curious to see the results of their test to see who would get the scholarship.

"You both received perfect scores on your test," the counselor said, looking at a sheet of paper. "It will be hard to choose which of you gets the scholarship."

"That's okay," Elizabeth said, smiling.

Mary nodded, smiling as well. "You don't have to."

The counselor looked up to them. "There's only one scholarship."

The girls smiled. "We've already decided that we're going to go to St. Martin's University," the girls said together.

The counselor's eyes widened. "What?! But that university is nowhere as prestigious! Think of the reputation our school could get if one of you were to get the scholarship! I could write a letter of recommendation for the other!"

Mary chuckled. "Thank you, sir, but we've already made up our minds."

Elizabeth nodded. "We've made our decision as friends not to be rivals ever again."

Fred chuckled as he floated out of the office. "Happy ending for all, right?"

Mike sighed, floating alongside him. "It is a bit depressing, though."

Karin glanced over at him. "How's that?"

Mike raised a finger. "If the girls had succumbed to the curse and died, I might have stood a chance at losing my virginity to one of them." He clutched his head as Karin slammed her oar over it. "No? What about you?" The oar slammed over his head again.

Fred laughed. "You should have quit while you were ahead."

Karin huffed. "Just to let you boys know, it is impossible for either of you to engage in such relations in your current condition. Even with other spirits."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

Karin smirked. "Simple. Your equipment won't work."

Fred's eyes widened. "Are you serious?!"

Mike sighed heavily. "Now I'm really depressed."

Karin rolled her eyes. "Idiots."


	4. 04 Good Will Haunting

**Chapter 4**: Good Will Haunting  
[_May 23, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"So it's possible to possess someone if they're unconscious or asleep?" Fred asked as he floated lazily above the streets of Ottery St. Catchpole.

"Uh huh," Mike replied. "But only for a brief period."

Karin frowned. "And you cannot communicate with anyone you were close to. Those are the rules."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Sounds like a challenge." He rubbed his head as he was hit with her oar once more.

"If you break those rules, you'll instantly fail your test," Karin warned as she remounted her oar. "You won't be able to come back to life, and your body will die. After everything, I don't think you want that to happen."

Fred didn't want that to happen. He knew that if he were to die again, it would just make things that much harder on his family. He couldn't forget the image of his broken twin, or those of everyone else as they grieved for him. He did not want to see a repeat occurrence, as he knew it would be much worse than it had been the first time.

Slowly, he shook his head. "No, I don't. But would it be possible to check on them to see how they're doing? No communication."

Karin paused in thought. "It might not be a good idea, but it's not against the rules. Just be extremely careful if you do," she said, turning to him. "The more you're around George, the more his sixth sense will awaken. He still wouldn't be able to see or hear you, but it still wouldn't be a good idea to awaken it anymore than necessary."

Fred paused in contemplation. He didn't know what would happen if George's sixth sense developed further, but from the sounds of it, it might not be a good thing. Still, it had been a couple of weeks since he had last visited his family, and he was wondering about how they were doing. He was particularly curious about how the situation with Ron and Hermione went, and wanted to make sure that things hadn't become awkward between her and George.

Even though Fred had tried to keep it off his mind, there were still times that he thought back to the time Hermione had kissed him while he was in George's body. Seeing George's reaction was rather funny, but what happened could have led to much awkwardness that none of them needed. He had no idea if things would be awkward between Hermione and himself, once he came back to life. He supposed he'd deal with it once he came back.

"So there's a bunch of wizards in your family, right?" Mike asked, glancing over at Fred. "Can they turn people into lizards if they don't like them? Because I know a bunch of people who would make excellent lizards."

Fred chuckled and shook his head. "Theoretically they _could_, but there's certain laws in place to say they _can't_. I'd rather not have anyone in my family get arrested."

Mike looked disappointed. "That's not any fun."

Fred shrugged. "Maybe not, but how would you convince them to turn anyone into lizards in the first place? No communication, remember?"

Mike chuckled and wagged a finger. "You can't, but I could."

Karin frowned. "No, you can't. If you pass on any messages, that would count, and Fred would fail his test. And so long as you insist on lingering in the living world, you should show some respect to those around you. Although you really should move on."

Mike sighed heavily. "Suicide is a pretty serious sin. I suppose I'm just not ready to face what happens when I do move on."

Fred looked at him, puzzled. "How do you mean?"

"I'm not going to Heaven or anywhere like that," Mike stated. "I killed somebody with every intent on doing just that. Just because it was myself doesn't make it any better."

Karin glanced over to him. "But at least you know how you can begin to atone for what you've done."

Mike nodded. "I know. And in the meantime, I can spy on hot girls in the shower!" He smiled brightly.

Fred laughed, and Mike went flying a few feet as Karin's oar connected with his skull.

"Hm? I know her," Mike said, looking to the earth below them.

Fred looked down to where Mike was looking at a young woman sitting on a bench in the small park in their village. Fred supposed she was pretty, in a shy and demure sort of way. She didn't really strike him as being his type though, as he preferred strong girls with lots of self-confidence, and something about the way the girl carried herself indicated that she was more of the docile type.

Karin moaned. "A fixated spirit. Those can be so stubborn." She flew down to the park on her oar. Fred and Mike followed at a slower pace.

"We were classmates together," Mike said. "She was nice, I suppose. I never really talked to her much, but she always had a kind word for everyone. Even if she was one of the girls who would never give me the time of day."

Fred glanced to him. Somehow, that didn't surprise him much. Mike had a rather creepy look to him, with pasty skin and wide, dark-rimmed eyes. He was short, and looked like he might have been teased a lot when he was alive. Of course, his appearance might be different than it was when he was alive, but Fred didn't think it could be that different.

"Hi there!" Karin said cheerfully to the woman. "I'm Karin, a guide to the Underworld! It's nice to meet you."

The young woman didn't even glance at her. "I know why you're here, but don't bother. I'm waiting for someone."

Karin's smile faltered slightly. "But, you can't just stay here…" she argued weakly.

"Who are you waiting for, Nancy?" Mike asked as he sat down on the bench next to her. "Your boyfriend?"

Nancy blushed and looked down to the ground. "Joshua was going to meet me here last year. The day we were to meet, I fell very sick and slipped into a coma that I never came out of. I wasn't able to tell him why I couldn't make our date."

Fred made a thoughtful face. "The village is pretty small, so he probably already knows…" he said. He held the back of his head after Karin's oar was slammed into it.

"You could show some sensitivity!" Karin yelled at him.

Fred glared at her. "Well, it's true!" he yelled back. "In a small town like this, one of the locals dying isn't exactly something that goes unnoticed!"

Nancy shook her head slightly. "Maybe not, but I would still like the chance to explain."

Mike frowned. "You shouldn't have to explain anything."

Nancy lifted her head up. "I recognize you," she said, turning to Fred. "I've seen you around, although I don't think we've ever officially met." She turned to Mike. "You, I don't recognize."

Mike hung his head. "That hurts…"

Fred chuckled. "When was this guy supposed to meet you?"

Nancy's face brightened. "At noon. He was going to take me on a date to celebrate my birthday."

Fred's eyes widened. "You died on your birthday?!" he asked incredulously.

Nancy nodded. "That doesn't bother me. I would like the chance to meet with Joshua, however. That is why I will sit and wait for him, just as I promised I would."

"And it was a year ago today?" Karin asked.

"That's correct," Nancy replied.

Karin sighed. "I'll tell you what. If he doesn't show up, you should accept that it's time to move on. It won't do you much good to just stay here. Will you agree to that?"

Nancy looked down at the ground. "I… I suppose…"

Fred decided to float around the park lazily as they waited. It had been a while since he'd gone to the park. It was yet another place that he and George had been banished from when they were younger. He supposed that was because they had decided to compete to see who could throw dung bombs from the top of the slide the furthest. Fred still contended that he would have won if only the dung bomb he threw hadn't bounced off Percy's head.

He wished that he had some dung bombs now.

There were quite a few children playing in the playground. A small group of adults were sitting near the playground, conversing while keeping an eye on their children. By the trees, he could see a few teenagers hanging out and smoking. They were speaking in some unintelligible language that sounded like it _could _be English, but so horribly butchered that it was hard to tell.

He floated past people walking their dogs, a few people just walking either alone or in groups, and one strange person walking an iguana. He briefly wondered just what happened to the pet lizard he had when he was seven. He and George had found a lizard in the garden, and decided to keep it as a pet. He supposed his mum had gotten rid of it after they decided that it would be happier sleeping next to Ginny. It had taken hours for his sister to be calmed down after she woke up with a lizard crawling on her face.

Bored with just floating around, he went back to the bench where Nancy sat with Mike and Karin hovering nearby. He noticed the park was becoming more crowded. Then again, it was a nice day.

"It's after one," Karin said. "I really don't think he's coming."

Nancy shook her head. "Joshua is always late, usually by half an hour or longer."

Fred glanced to her. "And you don't think it's rather rude of him to make you wait so long? If it was me I'd give up after the first fifteen minutes."

Karin looked to him. "You'd give up after five minutes. And I've read your file; you're not exactly the poster boy of punctuality yourself."

Fred stuck his tongue out at her. "Yeah, but there's usually a good reason, and I always apologize when I'm late."

"No, you don't," Karin retorted. "You usually just make some lame joke."

"Joshua always apologizes," Nancy cut in, interrupting Fred from replying to Karin's comment. "I've always loved the moment he arrives. He'll wear a sheepish grin as he approaches, and tell me that he's sorry he kept me waiting."

Mike made a face. "That's a bit weird."

"I don't mind," Nancy said. Fred had no doubts that she was sincere about that.

Despite what Karin might think, he really did make an effort to be on time if he was taking a girl out somewhere. Sure, he was late on occasion, but not by 'half and hour or longer'. Sometimes things came up, but he'd still make an effort to get there as soon as possible. Although he supposed he did have to concede that he usually joked about it to lighten the mood.

He let himself drift through the air, eyes closed. In some ways, floating was a lot like swimming. Well, without getting wet or feeling the sensation of water against the skin. Or having to move his arms or legs. On second thought, maybe it wasn't much like swimming after all.

"Sorry I'm late," he heard some guy say. Fred opened his eyes and looked down.

"Joshua!" Nancy exclaimed. "I'm the one who made you wait…"

"Hmph. I've been waiting for almost twenty minutes," a young woman said as she peeled herself off the tree she was leaning against. "I was about to take off."

Joshua placed a hand behind his head. "I overslept," he offered lamely. "Sorry 'bout that."

The other woman shrugged and walked over to him, grabbing his arm. "Whatever. The movie's going to start in less than half an hour. We'll need to hurry if we don't want to be late."

Joshua smiled. "I suppose I could have slept in for five more minutes then, huh?" He chuckled when the woman smacked him on the arm. "I'm kidding. You know, this reminds me a bit of some girl I dated last year. She would wait for hours. It was so weird. I even made a bet with some friends of mine that I could get her to wait for me here last year for six hours. But then she never showed, and I lost 100 quid." He scoffed.

Fred narrowed his eyes at the guy. It was one thing to be late meeting someone, and quite another to be a tosser like this guy.

"Yeah? Who was this girl?" the woman asked.

Joshua shrugged. "Nobody important. Just someone to kill some time with. I don't even remember her name, to be honest."

Momentarily forgetting that his wand wouldn't work in his current state, Fred tried to hex Joshua. When nothing happened, he went over and tried to punch him. His fist went right through him. He turned to Karin. "There's got to be some way to affect this tosser," he said, pointing to Joshua, who was walking off with the other woman and laughing.

Karin shook her head. "Do you honestly think I'd tell you if there was?"

He glared at her briefly before turning to Nancy, who was looking down at the ground, her hands clenching the fabric of her skirt.

"I'm so stupid…" she said softly. "If I hadn't gotten sick, I would have waited all day…"

Mike wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Don't cry… At least you know, right? That's better than always wondering and waiting."

Nancy nodded once, not looking at any of them.

Fred frowned. "That's it." He floated over to Nancy. "You've got to forget about a wanker like him."

Nancy blinked. "But…"

"No buts!" Fred exclaimed. "The best way to forget about someone like him is to have as much fun as possible!" He grabbed a protesting Nancy by the wrist, and dragged her off the bench, floating away with her as quickly as possible.

"You can't just take off with a fixated ghost!" Karin called after him as she followed.

Mike laughed as he grabbed onto her oar. "So what? She needs to have a good time."

"But this violates so many rules of the Underworld!" Karin wailed.

There probably would have been more to do in a big city like London, but Fred was determined to show Nancy as good a time as possible. He had no idea of what there was to do in the village, but Mike helped by offering suggestions of things they could do.

They stopped to watch a game of something called 'cricket', which was completely baffling to Fred. Nancy seemed to enjoy it, though, while Mike was a bit indifferent to the game. Mike later confessed to Fred that while he wasn't a big fan of sports, he remembered that Nancy liked to go to games.

After that, they went to see a movie. They made sure it was a different one that the one Joshua and the woman he was with went to. Fred supposed that he might be able to make more sense of the movie they'd seen if he had watched the 'original' Star Wars movies first. Or at least he'd be able to follow the animated discussion Mike and Nancy had about it afterwards. Although he did agree with Mike's assessment that the character of 'Jar-Jar Binks' was annoying.

Riding on top of the roof of a truck speeding down the highway was fun, even if they did end up miles away from the village. Going to an amusement park they came across on the way back to the village was also a lot of fun. Fred would have to remember where it was to after he came back to life. He had a feeling that going on the rides would be a lot more fun if he was alive to be able to enjoy it. Of course, with the long lines, he had a feeling he'd get rather annoyed by all the waiting.

It was dark by the time they returned to the village. High in the sky, they could see the houses and streetlamps were lit.

"I never realized just how beautiful everything looked," Nancy mused aloud as she looked down at the lights of the village.

Mike nodded. "I've never been in a bar like that before. Too bad we couldn't order anything there, but did you see the way that one guy clobbered that other guy?"

Nancy laughed. "Thanks, you guys. That was the most fun I've ever had."

"Anytime, milady." Fred mock-bowed at her with an exaggerated flourishing of his hands."

Nancy smiled. "In a way, I'm glad for what happened with Joshua. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met either of you." She turned to Mike. "I just wish that I had remembered you sooner."

Mike shrugged. "Yeah, well, we ran in different crowds. You had your friends, and I had my action figures."

Nancy chuckled. "If I meet people even half as nice as either of you in the afterlife, I know it will truly be paradise."

Karin turned to her. "So you're ready to go?"

Nancy nodded, and got onto the oar behind her. She waved at Fred and Mike. "Thank you both for everything!" she called to them. "I'll see you when your time comes!"

Fred and Mike watched them leave. Once they were out of sight, Mike turned to Fred. "Shall we haunt him?"

Fred shook his head. As much of a wanker as Joshua was, he felt that it would somehow be an insult to Nancy. She bore him no ill will, after all. "Nah. I want to check to see how my family's doing." Even though he didn't say it, he wanted to make sure things weren't too awkward between George and Hermione. It was bad enough that things were possibly awkward between her and Ron, and he dreaded to think of how she'd react to him once he came back to life, but he would deal with _that _once he returned.

--- --- ---

They floated into the kitchen of Burrow, where his mother and Ginny were cleaning up. Ginny was scowling about something. Quite possibly over the fact that she had to clean up without magic, although Fred dared to hope that Harry had rebuffed her advances.

"Is that your sister?" Mike asked as they floated through the kitchen. Fred nodded, and he smiled. "Your sister's hot."

Fred scowled at Mike. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

Mike chuckled. "You know I couldn't do anything with her. Unless…"

"Don't even think it," Fred said shortly as they moved on out of the kitchen. In the sitting room, Ron and Harry were playing a game of wizard chess on the corner, while Fleur sat on the couch with Bill. It appeared that Fleur was attempting to knit something, although she obviously was not enjoying the activity. Bill was reading a book called 'Your Life is Over: An Expectant Father's Guide to Pregnancy'. It seemed rather apparent that Fleur must have told Bill the news.

"She's pretty hot, too," Mike commented.

Fred ignored him as they continued up the stairs. He hoped that George and Hermione had not continued their vigil over him, because he really wanted them to get on with their lives. He wished that he had told Hermione to kick George's arse if he didn't get off it and work on getting their joke shop back up and running.

They floated into his and George's room, where Hermione was adding some ingredient to a potion that was brewing in the middle of the room. Fred remembered the times when he and George would brew something up, usually to go along with one of their trick sweets. George had some sort of Muggle writing device in his hand, and looked to be writing something on the forehead of Fred's body.

Hermione glanced over at George and frowned. "I don't think Fred will appreciate you writing something on him when he wakes up."

Fred frowned. He most certainly did not! Floating over to his body, he glanced at what George was writing. "I am not a ponce, you wanker!" he shouted at George.

George chuckled, putting the cap back onto the writing device. "Serves him right, though. I mean, from what you told me, he took over my body. A little bit of writing will be the least of his worries once he wakes up."

Hermione gave him a disbelieving look. "You're going to prank Fred?"

"Why not?" George said, smiling. He walked over to the dresser, and placed the writing device on top of it. "Revenge is a dish best served with Canary Creams, after all. Although not literally, because he'd never fall for that."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you're in for it once you wake up."

Fred chuckled, smirking. "He can try."

George walked over to Hermione. He knelt down in front of the cauldron. "Are you following the recipe exactly?"

Hermione shook her head. "I lessened the amount of pickled fireflies. The recipe was calling for too many, which was why it was exploding." She paused. "Why would anyone want to pickle a dead bug, anyway?"

Mike floated closer to Hermione, staring at her with wide eyes. "She's pretty. Is she your girlfriend?"

Fred shook his head, lazily floating so that he was behind George. "No, she's not my girlfriend. It's complicated."

George frowned and looked around the room. "Is it just me, or do you get the feeling like we're being watched?"

Hermione glanced up at him and shook her head. "Not really." She paused. "Except… Didn't you say before that you had a similar feeling the night that Fred was brought home?"

George turned back to the cauldron, a contemplative look on his face. "Not really. There it just felt like someone was touching me. And I was drunk off my gourd at the time." He paused. "It's more like how I felt right before he possessed me." He frowned and looked over at her. "Speaking of which, you never did say what it was that possessed you to kiss him while he was in _my _body."

Fred raised an eyebrow in amusement. He was rather interested in hearing Hermione explain herself, and a bit relieved that it didn't seem to cause too much awkwardness between her and George. And it seemed like she had given at least a partial explanation about Fred having possessed George.

Hermione looked down at the parchment with the potion recipe, avoiding George's gaze. "I… er… I just got caught in the moment," she said, turning bright red.

"Just like with Ron, huh?" George replied.

Hermione looked up. "It wasn't like that! I just…" She shook her head. "I don't know…"

George looked at her shrewdly. "Not like kissing your brother?" He smirked as she glared at him.

"No, not like 'kissing my brother'. It was weird," Hermione said. "Let's just leave it at that."

Mike turned to Fred. "You kissed her while possessing his body?"

Fred nodded, watching Hermione. "Well, _she _kissed _me_, but I did kiss her back."

George grinned slyly. "Oh? Not like kissing your brother? So you _liked _kissing him?"

Hermione turned bright red. "I never said that! It was just… weird."

George chuckled. "I guess that 'weird' is one way to put it. Word of advice. The next time you kiss a guy, make sure he's in his _own _body at the time."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "So your shop will be ready to re-open by the end of the week?" she asked, changing the subject.

George nodded. "Yeah. I'm hoping that I can convince Verity to come back to work for us. She may be a bit clumsy at times, but she works hard and knows her stuff."

Fred rolled his eyes. "He just wants her to go back to work for us because he was shagging her."

Mike glanced over to him. "But I just got the impression he was her boss."

Fred nodded. "I never said it was a good idea for him to sleep with her. But so long as it doesn't affect their work, and no favorites are played, I don't care who sleeps with who. She's a good employee, though."

"How many employees do you have now?" Hermione asked.

George frowned. "Well, there's myself, and… myself. I'll manage."

Hermione sighed heavily as she stirred the contents of the cauldron. "You'll wear yourself out."

George waved her off. "Ron said he would help. Things aren't awkward between the two of you anymore, are they?

Hermione snorted as she added some sort of powder into the cauldron. "Not too much. I still can't believe he felt like he was _obligated _to get together with me. Like it was some kind of chore or something."

George shrugged. "I guess he felt like everyone expected the two of you to end up together. I'll have to admit that I thought you would."

Hermione scoffed. "I think everyone needs to mind their own business."

George chuckled. "Fair enough." He paused. "You never did say what it was that Fred said to Ginny when he was in my body. She still won't talk to me, and has been in a really foul mood lately."

Hermione chuckled and shook her head. "I can't tell you. You can ask Fred once he wakes up, but I don't think he'll be too keen to talk to you after he wakes up and realizes you've been writing on him." She added a few scales to the potion.

"What else has he written on me?" Fred demanded, momentarily forgetting that she couldn't hear him and he wasn't supposed to talk to them.

Mike floated over to Fred's body, and frowned. "A lot of graffiti."

Fred's eye twitched in annoyance. "And he calls himself my brother…" he muttered. He glared at George. "You could show some respect for the dead!" he shouted.

George froze, furrowing his brow. Slowly, he looked around the room. "I'm definitely feeling some other presence."

Fred backed away from George a bit. Had George heard him?

Hermione looked up at George. "Do you think it's Fred?" she asked, glancing around the room. Her eyes widened and she took in a breath. "George…" She pointed to the mirror by the dresser, which had been replaced since the last time Fred was there.

Fred frowned and turned over to where she was pointing. His jaw dropped as he saw that Mike was writing something on the mirror with the writing device. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Mike chuckled. "It's not against the rules if _I _do it," he said as he put the cap back on the device. "And it's not like this is a permanent marker. It'll wash off." He tossed it over to Fred, who instinctively tried to catch it. It flew right through him and landed on the floor.

"You can't just write 'wanker' on the mirror!" Fred protested. "And how were you able to pick that up to begin with?!"

Mike tilted his head in puzzlement. "I concentrated."

George stood up and slowly walked towards the dresser. "Fred…?"

Fred went over to Mike and grabbed hold of him. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"That's what I'd like to know," a very displeased looking Karin said as she appeared by the two ghostly boys.

George spun around, facing their direction, but not really looking at any of them in particular. "Who else is there?" he asked.

Fred glanced to Karin and nodded. "Let's go." Still holding onto Mike, he floated through the window and went outside.

Fred practically pushed Mike away from him as he sat down on the roof. Karin hovered on her oar by them. "You can't haunt my family," Fred declared simply as Mike sat down.

Mike hung his head apologetically. "I'm sorry. But he was disrespecting you."

"That's not the point," Karin said. "Fred's twin has a strong sixth sense that will only get stronger if he's around things like this. He was looking in our direction in the end."

Fred turned to her. "What will happen if his sixth sense continues to develop?"

Karin paused, placing a finger to her mouth in thought. "If he doesn't learn to control it, he would serve as a magnet for every restless spirit that encounters him. He'd have nightmares. In time, he would be able to see and hear echoes of spirits. It could end up driving him insane. That's why it's better not to force his sixth sense to awaken any more than it already is."

Fred glared at her. "And you're only telling me this now?!" he shouted.

Karin waved a hand in front of her. "Don't worry too much about it. If his sixth sense develops naturally, he should be able to develop control along with it. It's just _forcing _the development that could have such an adverse reaction."

Fred was not placated in the least by her explanation.

"I really am sorry," Mike said quietly. "Sometimes I just don't think. I suppose that's why…" He looked down at his wrists and shook his head. He turned to Karin. "Don't let Fred fail his test because of me. I know he's not supposed to communicate with his family, but please…"

Karin looked to him in confusion. "What are you talking about? Fred's not going to fail his test because of that. _He _didn't communicate with anyone."

Mike looked visibly relieved. "I'm so glad to hear that." He paused. "His twin was writing on his body. I thought it would be a good idea to give him a bit of a fright. Let him know that it wasn't funny."

Karin's features softened slightly. "Well…"

Fred turned to Mike. "How was it you were able to pick up that thing to begin with? You said you concentrated, but…?"

"The marker?" Mike shrugged. "A ghost is able to affect the world around them by focusing their emotions and concentrating. I guess I have some residual anger left over, so I just focused it. He just reminded me so much of some kids that would write things on me if I fell asleep in class. I'm not a saint, you know."

Fred gave him a look of contemplation. "You were picked on a lot, weren't you?"

Mike nodded. "I was one of those loner geek types. Everybody thought that I was some smart kid, and expected me to get all these good grades. I studied a lot to meet everyone's expectations. I never developed the social skills of those around me, and became a target of bullies. I don't like seeing people getting picked on when they can't defend themselves. I might not have fought back, but I _could _have if I'd really wanted to. So I concentrated my anger to pick up the marker to teach him a harmless lesson."

Fred looked off into the distance in silence. He had been annoyed at his twin for writing on him, yes, but he hadn't thought of it as anything more than that. It was something that he might have done if the roles were reversed, particularly if George had taken possession over _his _body. But pausing to think about it, was it really right? It was harmless fun, but it was rather disrespectful. Fred wasn't exactly in the position to defend himself, after all.

He remembered a time in his seventh year when Hermione had yelled at him and George for testing their products on unsuspecting first years. She said that what they were doing frightened and intimidated the first years, who already viewed them as intimidating enough since they were so much bigger. Fred hadn't thought of it much at the time, but looking back at it now, Fred could understand Hermione's position. She thought that what they were doing amounted to bullying the younger students. Maybe, in a way, she might have been right.

Karin let out a derisive noise. "Be that as it may, that gives you no right to haunt the living. Let Fred deal with his family once he comes back to life. Speaking of which…" She turned to Fred. "Next week you'll be allowed to go back into your body."

Fred's eyes widened, and he grabbed her arms in excitement. "Really? I can come back to life?!"

Karin cleared her throat and pulled her arms out of his grasp. "Relax. It's only for one day, and it's only for maintenance of your body. The same rules apply."

"Only for one day?" Fred repeated, disappointed.

Karin nodded. "If your body and soul remain separated for too long, your body really will shut down and die. That's why you must return to your body once a month to keep it alive. Since you would still be unable to talk to those close to you, I would recommend just sleeping and letting your body recharge. The laws of the Underworld are strict. If you break that rule, you'll be unable to come back to life and your body will die."

Fred frowned. He did not like the idea of getting his body back for a day just to waste it by _sleeping_. It would be difficult, but he knew he could figure out a way to sneak out of the house with nobody noticing. He had a week to plan, after all. And he was a wizard, so a disguise would be easy. If all else failed, he could pretend he was George. Both he and George had grown their hair long enough so that it covered their ears, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

"When you say I'm unable to talk to those close to me…" he said slowly, trying to gauge just how strict the rules were. "Does that mean that if someone close to me were to see me, that I'd be unable to say something like 'I'm going out for a bit' or something like that? Or is it just things like proper messages or conversation?"

Karin paused in thought. "I'd have to check in on that, but I'd say it's better to err on the side of caution rather than risk it."

Mike sighed. "You're so lucky, getting to come back like that, even if it is for a day." He turned to Karin. "I'm not going to ask if I can come back, because I know I don't deserve it."

Karin turned to him. "Especially after that stunt you pulled."

Mike nodded. "I am sorry if I just complicated things. How can I make up for it?"

Fred paused in thought.

Karin frowned. "You can move on already. There is no point in you hanging around in the human world."

Fred looked over to Karin. "Get off that already. He'll move on when he's ready." He turned to Mike. "There's a few things I want you to show me about being dead. The way I figure, if I'm going to be dead for a while, I might as well make the most of it, right?"

Mike smiled. "I can do that."

Karin sighed. "You'll be lucky if you pass your test…"


	5. 05 One Day to Live

**Chapter 5**: One Day to Live  
[_May 30, 1998_]

--- --- ---

It had been one month since Fred had died and given the chance to come back to life. One month ago, he never would have imagined that he would have befriended a geeky Muggle boy who collected action figures and had slit his wrists after the pressures of life had gotten to him. One month ago, he never would have imagined that Hermione Granger would be helping his twin George out in their joke shop. One month ago, he never would have imagined that his baby sister would get grounded for the rest of the summer for being caught attempting to seduce Harry.

Well, maybe he could imagine that last bit. Ginny was rather headstrong, and in retrospect, he could see that she was quite the predator.

Fred was extremely grateful that most everybody was out of the house currently. George had re-opened their joke shop, and was getting help from Ron, Harry, and Hermione for the time being. Meaning they were helping out until Harry heard back on whether he would be accepted into Auror training, and Hermione was helping out for the summer. He had no idea how long Ron planned on helping out, but since Ron didn't seem too eager to look for a job, Fred figured that Ron would likely become a frequent fixture at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

Bill and Charlie were off helping to rebuild Hogwarts. The school would re-open in September, and any students who had missed their final year were invited to re-attend. From what he had overheard, he knew that Hermione had every intention of attending for her seventh year. He doubted that Ron or Harry would, based off the conversation between the trio. Harry wanted to become an Auror, and Ron just didn't want to go back to school. He imagined it was just a matter of time before his mother insisted Ron go out to find a paying job.

Percy and his father were still trying to clean up a lot of the corruption at the Ministry. Apparently it had run rather deep, and they had quite the task in front of them. The new Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt, had created a new department filled with individuals he trusted to investigate corruption within the Ministry. Fred supposed that was good in theory, but wondered just how long it would take for corruption to take root in there as well. Still, there were good people in the Department of Internal Affairs. Percy was actually head of that department, having had his own experience working in the corrupt Ministry. His father was content to work on trying to overturn the deplorable laws persecuting Muggleborns that had been created during the last year. Already the law restricting Muggleborns from owning wands was overturned, even though the Muggleborn registry still remained. There was a long road ahead of them.

Fleur had insisted on going back to Shell Cottage. She did, after all, have to prepare a room for the baby, and she did not trust the interior decorators she'd hired to do things right. In other words, she wanted to order them around. Fred wondered how long it would take before the decorators quit. Normally he would place a bet with George, but given the circumstances, he knew he could not.

He was a bit relieved, though, as that meant Bill had gone back as well. Bill had been sharing a room with George, since he was the most responsible of the Weasley brothers (despite what Percy might believe), and George was the most irresponsible (but only because Fred wasn't there to compete with him over that honor at present time). That, and the Burrow was just plain crowded with everyone there, even if most everyone was gone during the day.

Over the last week, Fred had been busy spying on his family, preparing for the day when he could come back to life for a day. Karin was not too happy with his spying, claiming that it could be far too tempting to try to communicate with someone. Fred waved her off, saying he knew the rules, and wasn't about to do anything to blow his one and only chance to permanently come back to life.

Mike helped him out a lot, agreeing to provide a 'haunting' distraction if he needed one. Fred already knew that Ginny and his mother would be the only ones in the Burrow during the day he was to be resurrected. George was still trying to 'convince' Verity to work for him again (which Fred suspected involved a total disregard to any proper employer/employee relationship), while leaving Ron, Harry, and Hermione to man the shop.

It was no surprise that Hermione really had an eye for the details and did most of the actual work. He had overheard that Ron pretty much considered loitering around the shop and talking to the customers about Quidditch as 'helping'. He'd already known that Harry's presence was bound to bring in the customers. Well, any of their presences would, being war heroes and such, but from what Fred had learned, Harry had been blackmailed into becoming a shill for the shop. One could apparently buy an exclusive trading card of Harry wearing silly costumes and making silly poses for five sickles each at their shop. For an extra galleon, Harry would sign them.

After making sure that everyone had already left for the day (and thankfully his mother had to go shopping), Fred floated over his body, looking down at it. The graffiti that George had scribbled on him was gone, apparently having been removed with a cleaning charm. Fred supposed that his comatose body would start to smell if it weren't for the cleaning charms cast on it every couple of days.

Karin looked over at him. "Remember, you only have until the end of the day. If you absolutely insist on doing anything other than resting, you must take precautions not to speak with anyone close to you. No friends, no family. And no leaving notes, either. You are under strict rules of no communication."

Fred nodded and rolled his eyes. "Yes, _mother_," he said mockingly. He turned to Mike. "Be ready to haunt if I need help."

Mike smiled and gave him the thumbs up. "I'm on it. Consider me to be your lookout for the day."

Fred wouldn't be able to see or hear either Mike or Karin while he was alive for the day, although he had arranged for Mike to give him a sign if he needed to return to his bed in the Burrow for whatever reason. They had carefully scouted out the location of Fred's wand (on top of the nightstand next to Fred's bed), and scoped out how far the anti-Apparition wards went. Fred had also made sure to find out where Harry was keeping his invisibility cloak, as that could prove crucial for sneaking in and out.

Fred nodded. He had done his homework, and was ready. He floated down into his body. The best way he could describe the sensation was like putting on a familiar old outfit after not wearing it for quite some time. It took some getting used to at first, but the initial strangeness wore off quickly.

He sat up, and extended his arms, moving his fingers around. "I'm back," he said, smiling. He was about to get out of bed when he heard the thunderous sound of Ginny stomping down the hallway. He laid back down and closed his eyes, hoping that she wouldn't enter his room for whatever reason.

Mercifully, he could hear her continue on downstairs. It would be difficult enough to sneak out of the house, but the last thing he needed was for his sister to loiter about upstairs. Fred first had to sneak up to Harry's room and grab the invisibility cloak. From there, things would be a bit easier.

Fred sat up again and threw the covers off. Looking down at himself, he could see that he was still wearing the clothes he had died in. "Sheesh," he muttered. "At least they could have changed me into something else." He shook his head and went over to the closet, hoping to find at the very least a shirt that didn't have coffee stains on it. Or a blood stain on the shoulder, for that matter.

Finding a more suitable outfit, he changed quickly while listening carefully. From his experience possessing George, he figured that his hand on the family clock would be showing him as 'home'. He briefly wondered how exactly that had been explained the first time, but chose not to dwell on it.

Ginny was still downstairs, ranting to herself about the unfairness of being grounded. Knowing his mother, there was probably some spell in place to prevent Ginny from leaving the house without alerting her. Fred remembered when he had been sent to his room when he was five, and his mother had placed a spell to alert her when he tried to sneak out. He still contended that the fire was not his fault.

After changing clothes, Fred grabbed his wand off the nightstand, and slowly crept to his door, opening it a crack. He had to be quiet, because his sister was someone who was extremely perceptive at times, and expected to be alone in the house. He wasn't allowed to talk to her, and didn't want to test the boundaries of just what was and was not allowed in that rule. Karin never had told him if it was all right to say something like 'I'm not a burglar' in case he was caught.

Fred remembered every floorboard that creaked, and how to put just the right amount of pressure on each stair so that no sound was made. The attic room that Harry was sharing with Ron, however, was one that Fred knew creaked when opened. As he placed his hand on the doorknob, he raised his wand at the door and cast a muffling charm. He slowly opened the door, inwardly wincing at the low noise it made. He prayed that Ginny had not heard it from downstairs over her grumbling. She didn't seem to pause in her tirade against Ron walking in at the worst possible moment, however.

He crept into the room, silently moving over to Harry's trunk where he was keeping the cloak. He cast an unlocking charm on it, and moved aside a few jumpers and robes that were on top of the cloak. After pulling out the cloak, he put the other clothes back in place and closed the trunk. "You need to lock this up better," he whispered as he wrapped the cloak around him.

He went back to the door and made sure he could still hear his sister downstairs. Sneaking outside would be the hardest. He had originally contemplated just jumping out a window or something, but figured that might attract too much attention if he landed wrong. He doubted that shouting swear words in pain would count as 'communicating with his family', but still didn't want to alert anyone that he was up and about.

He made sure to make as little sound as possible. He knew that Mike would help him out with a distraction if he needed on, and figured that his fellow ghost was probably scouting to make sure the coast was clear. Mike was someone who meant well, even if he went about things the wrong way sometimes.

Fred was especially careful as he reached the bottom of the stairs. Ginny was in the kitchen, scrubbing the floor and grumbling. He supposed that as part of her punishment she was supposed to clean. It served her right, he figured. Trying to seduce someone in as crowded a house as the Burrow was not a good idea. There wasn't a single room where one could have true privacy for too long. Even the bathroom seemed to be regulated to fifteen minutes per person at the most. Even then, it depended on who needed to do what. If there was an actual line, sometimes one had even less than that.

Using the kitchen door that led out to the back was not an option. He hadn't wanted to use the front door, as it was far too visible (in case his mother came back early), but he supposed he had no choice.

He went to the front door, hoping that there weren't any noises it made that he should be aware of. He had noticed that George had done something to the door a few days ago, and hoped that the boot that appeared to kick the person leaving had been dealt with. He opened the door and went outside.

He'd been floating around outside a lot of the time, but it was different somehow now that he had a body. He felt far more free, even though he knew he wasn't in the clear yet. Quietly closing the door behind him (and very relieved that there was no boot), he stepped a few paces away from the house, glad to be breathing the fresh air. As much as he would have like to go flying on his broom around the orchard where he and his brothers would play Quidditch, he knew that would be a horribly bad idea. That, and he was getting a bit tired of floating or flying. And as odd as it had been initially to see someone flying on an oar like they would a broom, it now struck him as odd to fly on anything but an oar. Maybe he took one too many blows to the head from Karin's oar.

He walked down the path in front of his house, marveling at the fact that he was actually walking in his own body, and not floating. He honestly hadn't really come up with a plan of things to do for the day. Maybe he could go to Hogsmeade and get a Butterbeer or two before visiting Zonko's. He and George had once planned to purchase the joke shop they had frequented as were students. Visiting his own joke shop was out for obvious reasons. In fact, all of Diagon Alley was out.

Then again, Bill and Charlie were working on helping to restore Hogwarts. And there were far too many other people that Fred knew there as well. Former professors and classmates… It could be bad.

He decided he'd just stick with the village for the time being. Not many wizards around there, and nobody in his family to run into. He'd go to the pub, get something to eat and drink (as he was quite hungry), and think of what to do from there.

Once past the anti-Apparition wards, he Apparated into an alleyway behind the Greasy Spoon, the local pub. He heard it could be a rather rough place at times, but he had never gone there so wouldn't know. He had his wand on him, so had no need to worry.

Looking to make sure that nobody was watching, he took off the invisibility cloak and stuffed it into the rucksack he'd grabbed before leaving his room.

Exiting the alleyway, he hummed as he stepped onto the sidewalk. Not really paying close enough attention to his surroundings, he bumped into a man. Thankfully, they weren't anyone he recognized. Just some random guy.

"Pardon me," the man said.

Fred stared at him.

"Er, what? I said I'm sorry," the man frowned.

"You can see me," Fred said. He smiled. "Ah, it's so good to be alive." He continued on his way, ignoring the 'weirdo' remark that the man muttered.

He entered the pub, marveling at the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke. One thing about being dead was that spirits didn't have much of a sense of smell. He supposed he was rather glad for that at times, as he avoided the rotten egg smell of the potion George and Hermione had been brewing the week before. Unless Hermione found a way to brew it without it stinking up the house.

He was surprised at the number of people wearing leather in the establishment, particularly since the weather was getting considerably nicer, and it was far too warm to be wearing a jacket. Especially one that was black and made out of leather. Still, he supposed that Muggles had a strange way of dressing sometimes.

He really didn't have a plan for how he was going to spend his day. He was rather social by nature, and not used to finding something to do alone. He'd already decided against setting a few pranks up, as they might go against the rules. Well, Karin had practically told him as such. In any case, that was out.

He sauntered up to the bar, where a jaded looking man was filling a glass with something from under a spout of some kind. The board behind him advertised the lunch special as being 'fish and chips'. Fred was hungry, so wasn't about to complain at the predictability of such a fare.

"One lunch special and something to drink, kind sir," he ordered from the barkeep, who looked at him suspiciously. Of course, the barkeep was giving everyone who talked to him suspicious looks, so that didn't concern Fred too much.

"Didn't you start a bar fight in here a couple weeks back?" the barkeep said.

Fred blinked. Had George been in here during the time he wasn't spying on his family? And started a _bar fight_?

"I seem to recall you was with a pretty young brunette who broke a chair over McGillacutty's head. I told you both not to come back," the barkeep continued.

And from the sounds of it, Hermione had been with George, and had taken part in the bar fight herself. Unless George had found some other 'pretty young brunette' to go to the pub with.

"Er…" Fred said intelligently. He was aware that two big men in leather jackets had approached him, and were standing on either side of him, glaring. "I'll just leave, then."

"We don't appreciate what you did to our friend," one of the men said.

"Not one bit," the other man said, cracking his knuckles.

"Take it outside," the barkeep said, glaring at all three of them before moving down the bar to serve another customer.

Fred felt one of the men grab him by his shirt, pulling him towards the door. The other man was behind him, pushing him in the same direction.

Fred was so going to kick George's arse when he came back to life. He supposed he could just magic his way out of the situation, but using magic in front of Muggles was one of the quickest ways to gain unwanted attention. He would have to figure something else out. Maybe he shouldn't have gone to the pub after all. Especially since he didn't have any money on him.

"You've got the wrong guy," he tried to explain as he was shoved outside.

"Shut up," one of the men said, drawing back his fist. Fred ducked, letting the man's momentum carry him forward.

Fred sighed as he dodged a punch from the other man. These guys were half-drunk, and dodging their slow punches was nothing like dodging fast-flying spells that could kill him. Fred never claimed to be much of a fighter, but he supposed he could hold his own in a fight. He just wasn't used to it.

After sidestepping another punch carelessly thrown by the first man, he let loose with a punch of his own. It wasn't very powerful as far as punches went, but it did seem to knock the wind out of the man.

"Why you--" the second man growled, lunging at Fred, who moved away before he could connect. The man lost his balance and tripped onto the ground. Fred took his chance and kicked the guy in the side.

Fred grimaced as the first man punched him in the back. He should have been paying more attention! Had they been real Death Eaters, casting real curses, he would be dead. Again. Instead of thinking about it, though, Fred elbowed the man in the jaw, causing the man to go down. He wasn't unconscious, but down. Fred followed up with a kick to the man's face before turning back to the other man, who was getting up.

"No you don't," Fred snarled, punching the man in the back. If they could use cheap shots, so could he. The man went down to the ground once more. Fred had never really thought about it before, but fighting was kind of fun. Not something he'd want to do all the time, though. "Have you guys had enough?" he asked them, kicking them both in the sides again for emphasis.

"Enough!" the second man said. The first man nodded, spitting out a bit of blood.

Fred smiled. "Glad to hear that," he said, walking off. He wasn't so arrogant as to believe he would have stood much of a chance if things had been different. His back really hurt from where the man had punched him. If it weren't for him being faster and possessing quicker instincts, he would probably be lying on the ground in a bloody heap.

He went back to the alleyway. To hell with the risk of being seen by his brothers, he was going to the Three Broomsticks. He really needed a drink after getting into a fight. He'd start with a shot of Firewhisky, and then just sit back and enjoy a nice Butterbeer. And something to eat, as his stomach reminded him.

He Apparated behind the Hog's Head. It was an out of the way dive, but not the best place to go when you were trying to keep a low profile. The last thing he needed was for someone like Mundungus Fletcher to recognize him. Keeping a low profile was not something Fred was very good at, but he would do his best.

He walked down the street, keeping an eye out for any flashes of red hair. It occurred to Fred that he still didn't have any money, but there was no way he could go back home to get any, and he certainly couldn't go to Gringotts to take any out of the vault he and George shared. He'd just have to hope that someone took pity on a starving man like himself. Maybe he could charm some pretty young witch into paying for him. After all, there were plenty of witches out there who would charm guys into paying for whatever they wanted, so why couldn't they have the tables turned on them for a change?

The coast seemed to be clear at the Three Broomsticks. He could see no sign of any red hair, at least. He didn't see any witches too likely to agree to pay his way, so he decided to try a blunter approach. He went up to Madam Rosmerta, matron of the bar, and asked, "Would I be able to put something on a tab? I don't have any money on me right now." It was blunt, and perhaps a bit shameless, but it was the truth.

She looked him over and nodded. "I suppose," she said. "You'll be paying next time you're in here, though."

Fred agreed. He could live with that. After placing his order, he found a table in the corner that gave him a good view of the door and everyone inside. The invisibility cloak was ready to go on if someone he wasn't allowed to speak with came in.

According to Karin, the people he wasn't allowed to speak with just encompassed those living in the Burrow. His family and adopted family in other words. He was restricted, however, from telling someone to pass on a message to one of them. He could theoretically talk to his friend Lee if he wanted to, or even look up an ex-girlfriend, but couldn't have them passing on a message for him.

Fred sat back in his chair, making sure his hair covered both ears. He had no idea just how many people knew that George had lost an ear in the war (aside from those who had seen his asymmetry), but did not want to take the risk of running into someone who would be able to identify him as Fred right off the bat rather than 'one of the Weasley twins'. It was just easier that way.

He was glad now that his mother had stopped him from placing an obituary for George's ear in the paper. She had said it was completely tactless and far too much of a security risk. Still, the funeral he and George had held for the lost ear was nice, even if the garden gnomes made very poor pallbearers.

He downed his shot of Firewhisky in one gulp, enjoying the burning sensation in his throat. He made sure to savor his meal and Butterbeer once they arrived. It had been far too long since he had just been able to relax like this. He made sure to keep a lookout for red hair. He had no idea where Mike was, but hoped that he was close by. He looked around momentarily to make sure nobody was listening. "If you see any of my brothers, give me a sign, Mike," he said. He had no idea what kind of sign to look out for, but figured he'd know when he saw it. Although he did have to wonder if Mike had been able to follow him as he Apparated.

He had to admit that he missed interacting with others, but he knew it would be dangerous to strike up a conversation with anyone that knew him. He had no idea whether those outside his family believed him to be dead or alive, but didn't want to risk it getting out that someone had talked to him when he was supposed to be dead.

He was almost finished with his meal when three figures sat down at the table near his. He recognized one of them as being a Slytherin girl from Harry's year named Tracy Davis. Despite being a Slytherin, she was actually rather pretty, which was an anomaly amongst her house. He had never spoken to her during their time together at Hogwarts, but from what he heard about her, she was rather aloof. She always maintained a distant politeness to everyone around her, but was not close to anyone. She was even distant from her own housemates.

From what Fred remembered, Tracy was often seen reading some book or another. If Hermione Granger was the smartest witch in her year, Tracy Davis took second place. Fred didn't think she was a supporter of You-Know-Who, as she struck him as being the type to remain coolly indifferent and stay out of things.

He didn't recognize the other two people she was with. One of them looked like he would have fit right in at the Greasy Spoon. Big and muscular, he reminded Fred of a gorilla. He probably had the intelligence of one, too. He did not look like a wizard at all, but Fred supposed that looks could be deceiving. Gorilla guy wore jeans and a plain green t-shirt that stretched across his torso, revealing the muscles he had under it.

The second unknown figure was smaller in frame and dressed entirely in black. He wore a black leather duster despite it being the beginning of summer. He had spiky light blue hair, and a pair of sunglasses perched on top of his head. His eyes were a pale silver, and he was glaring at gorilla guy.

Gorilla guy glanced around the room and scoffed. "Why did you bring us here? You better not be trying to pull something with your parlor tricks."

"I would request that you not refer to magic as 'parlor tricks' while in my presence," Tracy said in a neutral tone. "As I said before, if you wish for my assistance, we will meet on _my _terms in a place that _I _feel comfortable with." As Madam Rosmerta approached, she smiled politely and ordered drinks for them.

Fred knew that he probably shouldn't eavesdrop on them, but he was curious to see what brought together such an unlikely group of people. Aside from that, blue hair just wasn't normal. Although it could be magically charmed or even dyed the Muggle way. Except the blue haired boy's eyebrows were blue as well.

After Madam Rosmerta had left to fulfill their orders, the blue haired boy turned to gorilla guy. "We need her, Locris. She's the best."

Gorilla guy, Locris, scoffed. "Yeah? I've heard she's gone soft. You don't actually trust her, do you?"

"It's not a matter of trust," the blue haired boy said calmly. "As a rule I don't trust anyone. However, she has the ability to get what we want, so we shall do things her way."

Locris scoffed again. "Like hell. She'll just try to screw us over." He glared at Tracy. "I've heard she'd sell her own mother out if it suited her."

"You've heard wrong," Tracy said coldly. She turned to the blue haired boy. "I take it this must be a real challenge, Ryou. You know perfectly well that I am retired."

Ryou smirked, and then blinked as their drinks were brought. Tracy thanked Madam Rosmerta, who walked off. Ryou made sure she was out of earshot before speaking. "The treasures are under the tightest security. It's said that other treasures had been stolen from the same vault just years ago. If--"

"What's the challenge in that, then?" Tracy interrupted.

Ryou chuckled. "Security has been increased, I'm sure. From what I heard, it was the Youko who had broken into the vault."

"The Youko?" Tracy repeated, reaching for her glass. A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "I heard that he was killed by that bounty hunter…" She smiled. "I should have known that no gutter trash bounty hunter could take down the mighty Youko. I'll do it. In return, I ask for the Glove of Transference."

Locris snorted. "Shouldn't the _challenge _be enough for you?"

Tracy gazed at him coldly once more. "Be silent, or I might decide to ask for your head on a pike as payment instead." She downed some of her drink. "Now that we have that settled, how goes your quest, Ryou? Have you found a cure yet?"

Ryou scowled and muttered something that Fred couldn't quite hear. Fred had no idea what they were talking about, but it sounded like they were planning to steal something from some vault with high security. Were they planning to rob Gringotts? If so, maybe he should tip someone off about what they planned to do. But who?

Things were busy enough at the Ministry without him going there and telling those in magical law enforcement that there was the _possibility _that three people _might _be planning to rob Gringotts. If he went to Gringotts himself, he would run the risk of running into someone he knew. Bill and Fleur still had jobs there as far as he knew. Even though neither seemed to be too quick to go back to work post-war. In fact, Diagon Alley was far too risky to go to, period. The twins' shop was there, and practically half the people living in the Burrow were working there.

It was also possible that whatever plot the three of them had would fall apart. From the sounds of it, Locris the Gorilla did not like or trust Tracy, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. Ryou seemed to be a wild card, stating that he trusted no one. With dynamics like that, it was possible that nothing would ever come to it. After all, there had been times that he and George had met up with Lee or someone to plot something that fell through. Usually a prank, although there was that one time they had plotted with Lee to go on what Lee called a 'panty raid' in the girls' dorms. It never happened.

Finished with eating (didn't they feed him _anything _when he was comatose?) he stood up. He wasn't going to concern himself with things that may or may not happen. At some later point of time, if Gringotts was robbed, he would tell someone what he had overheard. He had their names and knew what they looked like.

As he walked past them towards the door, he could feel Tracy's gaze follow him as he left. It was almost as if he was being challenged. He had already decided not to say anything, though. Who would believe him?

He was determined not to let what he overheard ruin his day. He was about to walk off to Zonko's when he saw a flash of red head in the street up ahead. He quickly ducked into an alleyway and pulled Harry's invisibility cloak on. The Weasleys weren't the only redheads in the wizarding community, but it didn't hurt to err on the side of caution. He knew that Bill and Charlie were in the area, and that was enough to give him pause.

So Hogsmeade was out now. He'd suspected as such. Pretty much all the usual wizarding haunts were out. He could theoretically go back to his village, but he hung out there enough as a ghost that he just didn't want to. He'd have to stick to Muggle areas. He was dressed like a Muggle, so it wasn't as if he'd stick out or anything.

He was well aware that Apparating around randomly was a good way to get splinched, but didn't really care at the moment. That would entertaining, at least. Even if it was bloody painful. He had splinched himself once when Apparating from his bedroom to the bathroom. He blamed George for that, creating a distraction at the worst possible moment. He was able to get his big toe reattached, but it still hurt like hell when it happened. George was speaking in pig Latin for a week after that. Fred firmly believed that it served him right for laughing the way he did, and they _did _need a tester for that particular prototype of theirs.

After Apparating to some random Muggle area, Fred looked around at his surroundings. Well, he took off the cloak and checked to make sure all body parts were intact first. Nothing visible was missing, and there was no pain. He could only presume that he had all his body parts. Unless he left his spleen behind and didn't know it. He wasn't quite sure what the function of a spleen was, but it was a neat word. He'd have to use it in everyday conversation more often.

His surroundings looked vaguely familiar. He'd been there before, which was a rather good sign. At least he hadn't somehow managed to Apparate himself to some completely unexplored part of the world with no way of knowing how to get back in case Apparating didn't work. But as vaguely familiar as his surroundings were, he wasn't quite sure where he was.

The honking of a car's horn made him realize that standing in the middle of the road probably wasn't the best idea. He moved onto the sidewalk, ignoring the driver calling him an 'idiot', and began walking. There was a street sign up ahead, which would help give him an idea of where he might be. The area looked familiar, but only as familiar as a place he might have been a handful of times before might be.

Approaching the street sign, he couldn't help but laugh as he saw that he had ended up on Privet Drive. Well, it wasn't as if he had to worry about running into Harry anywhere around here, as he really doubted that The-Boy-Who-Had-Many-Monikers would willingly come back to the place where he grew up. Fred wasn't even sure on whether Harry's relatives moved back to Privet Drive or not after being temporarily relocated last summer.

He didn't really care to find out, either. He didn't even bother stopping to gawk at Number 4, continuing his wanderings down the street instead. He had no idea where he was going, but didn't really care. It was just so good to be alive and to have the freedom to do whatever he wanted.

There was a park up ahead. There were a few children playing there, and more than a few teenagers hanging about. Fred didn't really have much interest in them, but reasoned that it wouldn't hurt to have a bit of Muggle money on him. He could probably swindle them out of a bit of cash. A game of poker or blackjack, perhaps.

He entered the park, wandering around to find likely targets. There was a small group of boys hanging out by the slide, smoking something that did not quite look or smell like a cigarette at all. Fred figured it was probably better not to approach them.

"Lousy punks are getting bolder," a voice grumbled from behind Fred. Turning around, Fred frowned at how familiar the speaker seemed. It had been a few years, but…

"Yeah, but they kicked our arses last time we tried to fight them," a friend of the boy said. "Let it go, D."

Dudley Dursley shook his head. "Hell no. Those guys can't just come into our turf and do what they want. Besides, I owe that Castello guy for getting me kicked out of Stonewall."

Another friend of Dudley's made a face. "Yeah, but your reputation didn't help you much."

Dudley glared at them. "Shut up," he grumbled. He turned back around to face the guys hanging out by the slide and noticed Fred for the first time. He frowned. "Don't I know you?" he asked.

Fred smirked. They had met once before, about four summers ago. Fred had given Dudley a Ton-Tongue Toffee. Those were fun times for all. Well, maybe not for Dudley so much, but he was a bullying git, according to Harry, so had made a good test subject for the joke sweet. "Yes, we've met," Fred replied. "I see your tongue's back to its normal size."

Dudley glanced back to the three boys who followed him. "You guys hold the swing area." He glanced back to Fred as his three friends walked off towards the swings. "What are you doing here?"

Fred shrugged. "Trying to avoid people I know. Got bored. Ended up here. You?"

Dudley mimicked his movement and nonchalant tone. "Trying to avoid my parents. Got restless. Ended up here."

Fred tilted his head in curiosity. He had thought Dudley got along with his parents. "Why are you trying to avoid your parents?"

"They don't like that I got kicked out of Stonewall," Dudley said, shrugging. "There was a misunderstanding over who was smoking what. Castello there was smoking pot behind the science lab and tried to pass the blame on me. We both got kicked out, so I'm going to the secondary school here. That, and they don't like the fact that I'm not going to university next fall. I got accepted into the London Culinary Institute starting in September."

Fred raised an eyebrow. While Dudley seemed to have lost the fat he once carried with him, transforming it into muscle, it just seemed like going to culinary school might be a bit like a recovering alcoholic going to bartending school. "Culinary school?"

Dudley gave him a flat look. "Yeah, laugh it up. The former fat kid's going to cooking school." He shrugged. "My parents don't like it one bit. My dad says that only nancy boys cook, and my mum's just upset I'm not going to a _real _school so I can get a _real _job. I'm aiming to have my own cooking show on the telly, but having my own restaurant would be good as well. Or even working in a good place."

Fred blinked. "I never knew you were interested in cooking. Food, yes, but not cooking."

Dudley shrugged. "I got addicted to cooking shows and decided to give it a try. I don't like the way I was before, but I also know that I was lazy and spoiled. I know my old habits, and I know how to avoid them now. People do change, you know." He glared towards Castello's group by the slide. "He really needs to get his arse kicked…"

Fred glanced back at them. "I take it they're smoking pot?"

Dudley nodded. "What do you think they're smoking?"

Fred honestly didn't know. There had been a few people at Hogwarts who smoked cigarettes, but Fred had never really encountered any drug use. He had no idea what the majority of drugs looked like.

"I know it's probably better if I don't ask," Dudley began, looking a bit hesitant, "but Harry's all right, isn't he? Not dead or anything?"

Fred nodded. "He's alive. We won."

Dudley looked a bit relieved. "That's good. I might have acted like a tosser to him for years, but…" He paused as he heard sirens in the distance. "I'd recommend taking off now. That's what I'm gonna do."

As Dudley's friends rushed over to him and they scarpered out of the park, Fred couldn't help but think that meeting was a bit surreal. He didn't want to be arrested by the Muggle 'please-men', though, so decided it was best to take off. If someone was going to be arrested for drug use or whatever, it wasn't going to be him. A glance around the park showed that the other teenagers loitering around had scattered.

Fred made sure he was well out of sight before he Apparated to alley behind the Greasy Spoon in his village. He had no idea what he was going to do with the rest of the day. He still didn't have any money, and had enough strange encounters to suit him for quite some time. Although the fight against the two thugs had been a bit fun, he wasn't about to start another. He'd have to ask George later just why he had started a bar fight at the Greasy Spoon, and from the sound of things, had Hermione with him.

It was harder and harder to resist the urge to just pop into the shop and scare everyone. If it weren't for the fact that he was under strict orders not to communicate with anyone (lest this be his last day of life, period), he would do just that.

Instead, he walked through the streets of his hometown. He had never realized just how reliant he was on other people to keep himself entertained. Whether it was plotting a prank with George, or spying on everyone's sordid little mini-dramas, Fred just didn't know how to amuse himself alone. That was a bit sad, now that he stopped to think about it. Maybe he should pick up some girl for a good time. Her place, of course.

He stopped when he felt someone tug on his sleeve. Except nobody was there. Knowing that could very well be a sign from Mike that it was time to head back, he ducked somewhere out of sight to put the invisibility cloak back on.

Normally he would Apparate places with a loud crack to announce his presence. He had not been doing so that particular day, since most of his Apparating was done under the invisibility cloak. Thinking about it, he had no idea how to return Harry's cloak. He wasn't going to chance sneaking into his room again. He supposed he'd just leave it on George's bed.

He Apparated right outside the anti-Apparition wards that surrounded the Burrow. Now that You-Know-Who was gone, he really failed to see the point of the wards. Still, there were rogue Death Eaters still on the loose, so he supposed he could see why they remained. That didn't make it any less annoying, though.

Getting back inside the Burrow was the challenge. Going to the back, he could see his mother was cutting up some vegetables while George stood next to her, peeling potatoes. No wonder he had received a signal to go back. If George went up to their room, it would be obvious that Fred was gone.

He was careful not to make a sound as he went to the front. Entering through the front door was risky, but not as risky as entering through the kitchen. Quietly, he opened the door and went inside.

"What the hell?" Ginny said, looking up from the magazine she was reading.

Fred's eyes widened. Never had he been more grateful for Harry's invisibility cloak before. He supposed it did seem a bit odd, the door opening on its own. He didn't bother to close it as he quickly moved out of the way when Ginny got up from the couch and walked towards the door. He had to get upstairs and into bed.

He watched her carefully, making sure that she didn't get too close to him. She knew there was something out of the ordinary now. Did he dare to risk going back up to his room right now? But with George and his mother in the kitchen, did he dare not to? What happened if someone checked up on him, or went to the twins' room for whatever reason?

He slowly moved towards the stairs as Ginny closed the door. "If this is a prank of yours, George, this isn't funny!" Ginny called into the kitchen.

"What are you on about?" George called back.

Fred slowly climbed the stairs as Ginny went into the kitchen. "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," she accused.

Fred smiled slightly as an argument broke out between Ginny and George. That would keep them nice and distracted. As it heated up, he could hear his mother threaten to send both of them to their rooms. His eyes widened. That would not be good in the least. He ascended the stairs faster, trying to make as little sound as possible. Moving fast was difficult when one was trying to sneak around, but that was probably because he was used to making so much noise.

He entered his bedroom quickly and tossed off the invisibility cloak onto George's bed. He could hear footsteps coming upstairs, so he quickly got into his bed, pulling the covers up and pretending to be asleep. He didn't have time to change back into the clothes that he had been wearing, as it wasn't long before he could hear Ginny's door slam from the floor below his. He could hear another set of footsteps coming. He just hoped that it looked like he was sleeping. He was rather tired, though. It felt almost like he'd been awake for over 24 hours with no sleep…

George looked in confusion at his twin, who was still sleeping in his bed, but with a few differences. He was wearing different clothes, for one. Not only that, but he was snoring softly and sleeping in a different position than usual. It was extremely unusual, particularly since Harry's invisibility cloak appeared to have been tossed carelessly onto his own bed.

George walked over to his twin, picking up the sheet of parchment that had been resting on top of Fred's covers.

'_The trials of the Underworld are strict, but he'll be back soon.  
__~King Enma Junior_'

George blinked as he read the note. "What the hell?" he said aloud.

It was dark by the time Fred woke up. Unfortunately, he was floating above his body when he did. "What? Already?"

Karin chuckled. "I told you it was better to just let your body rest. It's not used to moving around much these days."

Fred glared at her. "But I didn't get the chance to really do much," he protested.

Karin shrugged, unconcerned. "You had an entire week to plan what you would do for the day. Next time you'll know."

Mike looked over to Karin. "The note that was left by that one dude… Doesn't that go against the rules?"

Fred frowned. "What one dude?"

Karin glared at Mike. "Don't refer to Lord Koenma as 'that one dude'!" She turned back to Fred and cleared her throat. "Lord Koenma is the one administering the trial. He is allowed to bend the rules if he believes the situation warrants it. It is against the rules for _Fred _to contact those close to him in any way, but not for Lord Koenma to do so." She shrugged. "As to _why _he did it, I have no idea what he was thinking."

Fred gave her a flat look. "You're a regular source of useful information," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Karin smiled. "Aren't I, though?" she replied in a sincere tone.

Mike chuckled. "Where'd you go, anyway? We were able to find you when you teleported to the village, but couldn't when you teleported somewhere else."

"Apparate, not 'teleport'," Fred corrected. "And I went to Hogsmeade and then Surrey." He frowned. "Harry's cousin Dudley doesn't count as someone I can't talk to, does he? I didn't say much of anything to him, but…?"

Karin shook her head. "It's fine to talk to him. Just don't ask him to pass on any messages. I don't think he'd believe you if he did."

Fred shrugged. "I don't plan to."

Mike smiled. "That was an awesome fight!"

"Yeah, well after fighting Death Eaters, two drunk guys hardly seem much of a threat," Fred said. "I'm still curious as to what George was thinking when he started a bar fight." He glanced over to his twin, who was sprawled out in his bed, sleeping. His own body had returned to the state of restive slumber that it had previously been in.

Karin chuckled. "It seems to me that neither of you do much thinking at all."

Fred glared at her.


	6. 06 The Lonely Ghost

**Chapter 6**: The Lonely Ghost  
[_June 2-5, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred was still in a rather bad mood for not being able to do much during his one day that he had come back to life. He admittedly couldn't have done much, but that was completely beside the point. In retrospect, he probably could have set up a bunch of pranks that George would take the blame for. Maybe he could have looked up some pretty young thing for a good time, or gone to a party or something. Instead he had gotten into a bar fight, eavesdropped on a plot to rob Gringotts in the Three Broomsticks, and spoken with Harry's cousin, who apparently was going to a culinary school in the fall, against his parents' wishes.

"Cheer up, Fred," Mike said, floating alongside him above the village of Ottery St. Catchpole. "At least you got to return to life for a day. And if you pass your test, you'll have an entire lifetime to do whatever you want."

Fred glanced to him. Mike was the ghost of a boy who had committed suicide, and now regretted his decision to do so. He supposed that from Mike's perspective, being able to come back to life for even a short period of time was a real blessing.

"I'm sure he will pass his test," Karin said. "I don't think Lord Koenma would have offered it if he thought Fred would fail."

Fred shrugged. "Yeah, but how hard is it to raise an egg? I don't like the whole not talking to anyone part, but I can deal with it. It's not like it's going to take years, or that I won't be able to once I come back for good." He gave Karin a pointed look. "Right?"

She nodded. "Right." She looked down at the village and frowned. "That boy down there… That's never a good sign…" Without another word, she steered her oar downward, flying downward.

Fred glanced to Mike, who shrugged. With nothing better to do, they followed her.

Karin was following a young boy that looked to be about nine or ten years old. Fred thought that it looked like he wasn't getting enough sleep, if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication.

"Too much studying?" Fred asked.

Karin shook her head. "He's being haunted."

"It's not me this time, I swear," Mike said, raising his hands in surrender.

Karin glanced to him briefly. "I never said it was. No, this boy's being haunted in his sleep, and it's affecting him physically."

Fred frowned. He was aware that ghosts could enter the dreams of the living, but hadn't known that it _affected _the living. "Does that mean when I entered Hermione's dream…?"

Karin glanced to him. "Hmm? Oh, don't worry about that. This is different. His soul is being pulled out of his body while he sleeps. The ghost isn't _just _entering his dreams." She watched the boy, who went into his house. "The human soul is not meant to be separated from the body, which is what is happening with him when he goes to sleep. If he had any kind of sixth sense it wouldn't be so bad, but he doesn't. At this rate, his body will shut down and die."

Fred glared at Karin. "Why is it that you never explain these things to begin with?"

She glanced to him. "If something's important, or if it comes up, then it will be explained."

Fred was not satisfied by that answer in the least. "Just what can ghosts do, anyway?"

Karin waved him off. "Ask Mike, since he insists on loitering around."

Mike frowned. "Don't try to shirk your responsibilities onto me!"

Fred rolled his eyes. "So I guess we're going to be dealing with the ghost haunting this kid?"

Karin nodded. "That's the plan. So tonight, while he sleeps, this is what we're going to do…"

--- --- ---

Determining where the ghost was taking the boy's soul was relatively easy to figure out. All they had to do was follow the trail of spirit energy. Karin had explained that spirit energy was emitted by all life forms, but was more pronounced in ghosts and other pure spirits. When a spirit was in the presence of someone with a sixth sense, their spirit energy was actually what was felt. She went on to describe that the sensation of 'knowing' when someone else is present when they can't be seen was actually a form of detecting spirit energy.

"So spirit energy is a lot like the 'ki' one senses in Dragonball Z?" Mike asked.

Karin gave him a weird look. "Er, yeah, I guess."

"Cool!" he exclaimed. "Does that mean if we get really pissed off we can go Super Saiyan?"

Karin's eye twitched. "No."

Mike made a thoughtful face. "Yeah, I suppose we'd have to be part Saiyan for that." He turned to Fred. "I don't suppose you're really a descendent of an alien race sent to wipe out humanity and sell our planet to the highest bidder, are you?"

Fred blinked. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, not having the slightest clue as to what Mike was going on about.

Mike paused. "Yeah, I suppose you wouldn't get the reference… Oh! You remember the movie we saw with Nancy, don't you? I guess that this spirit energy stuff is a lot like the Force--" He rubbed his head after Karin smacked him with her oar.

"Let's just go," Karin grunted with annoyance.

After she had told them how to focus on sensing spirit energy, Fred found it to be rather easy. He supposed that was because he himself was a spirit. So once the haunted boy fell asleep, the group followed the trail of spirit energy, ending up at an empty old house that had been for sale as long as Fred could remember.

"I've heard stories this place was haunted," Mike said, shivering.

Fred glanced to him. "If there's a ghost here, then of course it is."

As Karin was looking increasingly annoyed with them, they decided it was better to head inside.

On the top floor, they could see the ghost of a young girl playing a game of jacks with the boy. Fred paused for a moment. Why was it that every other spirit he encountered was young? Dismissing the thought, he frowned. "Hey, kid," he addressed the boy. "You've got to go back to your own body."

The boy turned to him in confusion. "Who are you?"

The ghost girl frowned. "Leave us alone! We're just having fun!"

Fred was not to be deterred. "Yeah, well, your idea of 'fun' is hurting him. Humans aren't meant to do stuff like this."

The ghost girl glared at him. "What would you know?" Her eyes grew dark. "I don't like you."

Fred scoffed. "I don't care whether you like me or not." He went over to the boy and grabbed his arm. "We've got to get you back to your body."

The boy smacked his hand away. "No! I want to stay with Sara! She doesn't have any one else but me! She's always been alone and just wants someone to be friends with!"

Fred sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. It would be nice if Karin or Mike backed him up, but they seemed content to just stand back and watch on in amusement. "Listen, kid, this is killing you. Your body--"

"Leave us alone!" Sara the ghost girl shouted, her hands glowing. Fred glanced over to her, and she aimed the palm of her hand at him. His eyes widened as he was blasted away by something he could only describe as pure energy.

--- --- ---

Once again, he was floating over the village of Ottery St. Catchpole, where it was day once more. He blinked, having no idea what happened since getting blasted. "Bloody hell," he muttered.

Mike chuckled. "Did you have fun there?"

Fred glared at him. "Shut up. What happened?"

Karin cleared her throat. "After you botched things in there, Sara -- the ghost -- unleashed an attack on you. You've been out for about a day and a half."

Fred blinked. "Ghosts can be knocked unconscious? And that little girl essentially kicked my arse?"

Karin nodded. "Correct on both counts."

Fred shook his head in disbelief. "Damn. How'd she manage that?"

"As I told you before," Mike raised a finger, "a ghost is able to affect the world around them by focusing their emotions and concentrating on what they want to do. In other words, a ghost's power is fueled by their emotions." He turned to Karin and smiled. "Right?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "Essentially, yes." She turned to Fred. "I did a background check on the girl while you were out. As it turns out, she was a very lonely girl when she lived fifty years ago. She was a frail, sickly girl who never once left her house since she was a year old. Her parents weren't prepared to care for such a sick child, so they were rarely home. She grew up mainly in the care of an ever-rotating string of housekeepers, nannies, and doctors. After she died she remained by her window, looking out at the world. I suppose that's when she spotted Calvin."

Fred gave her a confused look. "Who's Calvin?"

"The little boy," Mike answered.

Karin nodded. "I'm guessing she saw him walking by one day, and decided to befriend him. Unfortunately, her loneliness has evolved to a dangerous level. The consequences don't seem to concern her. Even though she knows that she's killing him, she doesn't seem to care about anything other than satisfying her own loneliness."

Fred frowned. "She needs to be stopped! At this rate she will kill him!"

Karin sighed. "You've experienced just how powerful the loneliness she feels is."

Fred folded his arms across his chest. "Even so, we can't just leave him like that. We're going back tonight."

--- --- ---

As night descended on the village once more, Fred led his group back to the house where Sara brought the boy's soul to play with her. Fred had no real plan, but knew that he could not let the boy die just because one little girl was lonely. Sure, he felt sorry for Sara, but only to an extent.

He found Sara and Calvin playing a game of tag up on the top floor. As soon as the two children noticed him, they stopped and turned to him. Fred drew in a breath as Sara's eyes narrowed, darkening as they had before.

"Go away," Sara said coldly.

Fred held up his hands in surrender. "Look, I'm sorry for before," he said apologetically. "But do you really think it's right to force him to die just so you can have a friend?"

Calvin turned to her. "What's he talking about?"

Sara grabbed onto Calvin's arm. "He's my friend, and will stay by my side _always_. Together, we will go to Heaven, where we can play together forever."

Fred took a step back as he saw the aura around her glow.

Mike took a step forward and cleared his throat. "I was lonely, too. I didn't really have any friends growing up, except those I made up in my own mind."

Fred glanced to Mike, wondering what he was doing.

"But I squandered my life," Mike continued. "I _could _have gone out and made real friends, but I _chose _to sit in my room and feel sorry for myself for not having any friends. Because of the choices I made, I believed myself to be alone when I didn't have to be. I took my own loneliness out on myself when I felt the pressures of the outside world I tried to ignore cave in around me. I was afraid to live, and I was angry at the world because of it." He stepped towards Sara, who watched him warily. "So I can understand your anger. You never had that choice. But it's not right for either one of us to take out our anger on those who don't really deserve it, is it?"

Sara watched him warily. "What do you mean?"

Mike smiled slightly. "By bringing Calvin here every night, you're taking your anger out on him. You want him to stay with you always, but if he dies, you'll only end up condemning yourself." He glanced to Calvin. "I know you like playing with her, but you do understand that there's more to life than your dreams, right?"

Calvin nodded. "My friend Bobby invited me to go camping with him next weekend."

Mike smiled, and then turned back to Sara. "It's selfish to want to keep him all to yourself, especially if that causes him to suffer. Friends don't want to cause their friends pain. Not real friends, at least. I'm not saying that you need to stop being his friend. You can still be friends even if you're far apart from one another." He held his hand out to Sara. "In the meantime, I'd like to be your friend, if you would allow me."

Sara looked at his hand, eyes wide. "Why?"

Mike smiled sadly. "Because I don't want to be lonely, either." He gestured to Fred and Karin. "I might not have met them until after I died, but Fred and Karin are great friends. I'm sure they'd be your friends too, if you asked." He paused. "Even if Karin is incredibly violent."

"What was that?!" Karin growled at him, balling up a fist and looking like she was ready to hit him with her oar.

Ignoring her, Mike continued. "I also know a wonderful girl who's gone on to Heaven. Her name's Nancy, and she has an incredibly warm heart. I'm sure she'd be your friend too, if you asked."

Calvin turned to Sara. "I like playing with you, Sara, and we'll be friends forever. But I'm not ready to go to Heaven yet. I'm still alive. When I do die, I'll play with you."

Sara glanced between them. "Why would you want to be my friend?" she asked Mike.

He shrugged. "Because nobody deserves to be alone. And I believe one can never have too many friends."

Sara looked at Mike's still extended hand. "Nobody would ever stay long enough to be my friend…"

Mike nodded. "I wouldn't know about that part. I was the one who turned my back on everyone around me."

"Would you go with me?" Sara asked.

Mike smiled sadly. "I don't think I'd be allowed into Heaven yet. I still have a lot to answer to for killing myself."

Karin turned to him. "You're not barred from Heaven forever, you know."

Mike nodded. "I know, but I'd rather be honest about it. The truth may be painful at times, but sometimes you have to get through the pain before things get better. That's something I didn't quite understand when I was alive."

Sara continued to look at Mike's hand, and then glanced to Calvin. "Do you promise that we'll be still be friends when you go to Heaven?"

Calvin smiled. "I promise." He hooked his pinky finger around hers. "I pinky swear it."

Sara smiled. "I'll wait." She turned to Mike. "Will you play with me until the end of the night?"

Mike nodded. "Of course. We're friends, aren't we?"

Sara took a step towards Mike, and placed her hand in his, shaking it. "Friends."

Fred smiled to himself, glad that things seemed to be resolved.

--- --- ---

In the morning, Karin explained to Fred that while Calvin wouldn't remember the details of his 'dreams', she would remind him when the time came to keep his promise. Fred was relieved to hear that the boy would be fine, as the ghostly girl would leave him alone in the future. As for Sara and Mike… Fred was glad to see that the two of them had become friends. It was as if Sara had become Mike's adopted younger sister, and he had become her adopted older brother.

Fred had to admit that Mike probably should have handled the situation from the start. Or maybe he could have handled the situation in a similar way. In any case, he continued to race down the street, carrying a laughing Sara on his back.

After an initially shaky start, Sara conceded to let Fred be her friend, too. She admitted that even though she thought he was a 'dimwitted ape' (her words), she also recognized that he was concerned for Calvin. To make up for his utter 'dumbness', Fred was regulated to carrying her piggyback when she requested.

"We beat you!" Sara laughed as Fred reached the lamppost first. They had decided to have a race down the street against Mike, who had received an oar to the head after stating that he hoped he wouldn't have to carry Karin piggyback, as she looked 'far too heavy'.

Mike was obviously no athlete, and would have been panting and wheezing if he were alive and had to breathe. "Shall we play something else?"

"We could probably get some cards from somewhere and play poker," Fred suggested. He smirked. "Since we don't have any money to play with, we could gamble using Karin's clothes instead."

"What was that?!" Karin growled, holding her oar menacingly. Fred already knew that she wouldn't dare hit him with her oar while he had Sara on his back.

Sara made a thoughtful face. "I'm actually curious as to what it's like in Heaven."

Neither Fred nor Mike knew what to tell her there, so Karin fielded that question.

"The afterlife is different for everyone," she said. "A lot of it has to do on one's own personal beliefs and desires. Heaven and Hell are really the wrong terms to use, but give a general approximation of what might be waiting for a person when they die. For someone like you, I'd imagine that Heaven would be like one big playground with lots of friends of all ages for you to play with."

"Would that mean that Hell would be a place of utter solitude?" Sara asked.

Karin nodded. "For you, yes. The thing about Hell is that it usually isn't permanent. A person might go there when they die depending on what they've done in life, or whether they believe they deserve to go there to atone for something. Hell is different for everyone, too."

"Hell is secondary school," Mike grumbled.

Karin chuckled. "You have a lot to confront and overcome, Mike. You'll be confronting all of that when you do move on from the living world."

"The longer you stay, the harder it gets to move on, right?" Sara asked.

"That's right," Karin affirmed. "That's why it's never good for a restless spirit to stay restless for too long. In time, their emotions will overcome them, and their minds will be lost."

Fred hadn't known that. He supposed that was another difference between what they were and the true ghosts he'd met at Hogwarts.

Sara looked down at Fred. "Could you let me down now?"

"Sure thing." Fred knelt down onto the ground, allowing Sara to slide off his back. The little girl walked over to Karin.

"I've stayed for too long, haven't I?" she asked the ferry girl, who nodded. "So has big brother Mike."

Mike nodded slowly. "I've held onto too many regrets and too much anger. But, I think…" He took in a deep breath.

Sara smiled at him. "I think so too."

The both turn to Karin. "It's time to move on," they said.

Karin smiled at them. "I'm glad to hear that."

Mike turned to Fred. "You really helped me out a lot, you know. I guess I'll see you when your time comes, right? Well, presuming I'm in Heaven by then. Eventually, at least."

Fred smiled. "Good luck, Mike. I know you can make it. You've got friends waiting for you there, after all."

Mike shook his head. "While that's true, this is something I have to do for myself." He got on the oar behind Karin. "Good luck with coming back to life, Fred," he said as Sara got on behind him. The oar had apparently extended to compensate for all its passengers. He smirked. "And don't be afraid of how complicated things may get. If you like the girl, kiss her." He grabbed a hold of Karin as she started moving slowly. "We're not going to fall, are we?"

Karin sighed. "No, you're not going to fall. Are you ready now?"

"Almost," Mike said, smirking. He moved his hands up slightly. "Now I'm ready."

"Get your hands off my boobs this instant!" Karin shouted as they began to fly away.

Fred chuckled. He couldn't say that he wouldn't miss Mike, but he knew it was for the best. At some point of time, everyone had to move on. He wondered if maybe that applied to him as well.

Except he had a chance to come back to life. And he wasn't holding on because he was afraid of what happened next, but because he couldn't stand to see the broken image of his twin. Even though George wasn't the only one who suffered and grieved, he was the one who seemed to have been impacted the worst. He had a suspicion that George would have tried to do something stupid to join him in the afterlife.

Fred wasn't used to such heavy thoughts, though. Shaking his head, he decided to see how his family was doing.

--- --- ---

It came as little surprise that George was still asleep. It wasn't quite seven in the morning yet, and George had always been of the opinion that waking up before nine in the morning without a good reason should be a crime. He was nowhere near as bad as Ron, though, who believed that noon was a good time to wake up, and would only get up sooner than that if forced to.

Much to Fred's surprise, though, it appeared that Hermione had fallen asleep in the twins' room as well. She was curled up on the floor by Fred's bed, wearing clothes that he could only imagine she had been wearing the day previous. He was rather curious as to why she had spent the night in their room, although more than a bit relieved that she wasn't sleeping next to George in his bed. He'd have to keep a closer eye on them. Not that it was any of his business if George and Hermione got together or not.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder what exactly was going on between them, and why Hermione was spending so much time in the twins' room.

The loud ringing of the alarm clock interrupted his musings. George must be opening the shop that morning, as he would never set the alarm for any other reason. Fred chuckled as George fell out of his bed, swearing loudly.

Hermione woke up far more gracefully. It would have been rather difficult for her to fall off the floor, though, so that really wasn't saying much. In any case, she sat up and looked around in a half-awake state of confusion, as though trying to figure out just where she was. Fred recalled that feeling well, usually after a night of getting plastered. Hermione's eyes widened as she realized where she was, and she glanced to George, who groggily reached up to turn off the alarm clock.

Hermione put a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I fell asleep here…"

George crawled back up to his bed and sat down, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "If I'd known you planned to sleep here, I would have offered you my bed."

Hermione glared at him. "I don't think so."

George looked over to her. "Not like that!" he protested. "What I mean is that it's not right for a guy to sleep on a bed while a girl sleeps on the floor. Get your mind out of the gutter."

Fred chuckled. Their mother had taught all of them to be considerate to girls. The lesson might have not gotten through to Ron and his pratitude, but at least some parts of the lesson had gotten through to George.

Hermione looked like she was about to argue with him some more, but then thought better of it. "You said that the note you found on Fred was signed by someone calling himself 'King Enma Junior'? I've found references to a King Enma in Eastern mythology, but nobody called King Enma _Junior_."

George shrugged, unconcerned. "It's great that you're looking into this and all, but I'll just ask Fred when he wakes up."

Hermione shot him a dirty look. "From what I found, King Enma is the Ruler of the Underworld and Judge of the Dead. And how can you be so sure that Fred will wake up at all? I'd like to believe he will, but there's still the chance he might die."

George sighed, rubbing his temples. "I can't explain it, but I know he will. Fred was dead, and I think he was given a second chance. You told me that when he possessed me, he told you that he was definitely coming back, but he wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone. So maybe this Enma Junior bloke is the one who gave him a second chance."

Fred raised an eyebrow. George had pretty much nailed it down.

"I've never heard of anyone coming back from the dead before," Hermione said.

George raised an eyebrow and stood up. "Really? Because I'm pretty sure that You-Know-Who had come back from the dead, and Harry had as well." He walked over to the dresser and opened one of the drawers.

"But those were different," Hermione protested.

"Maybe," George conceded, "but I'm not about to try rationalizing this. Fred's coming back to life, and the details don't matter." He took a pair of socks out of the dresser. "And, er, I'm going to be changing clothes in a couple of minutes, so…"

Hermione blushed and stood up. "I should go. Ginny will wonder where I was."

George smirked. "If she asks, just tell her you spent the night in here. It's the truth."

Hermione frowned. "She'll think that you and I were… Well…"

"Shagging?" George offered in a playful tone. "So what if she does? We know we weren't. Unless you want to."

Fred narrowed his eyes. "You can't just proposition her like that!" he yelled. He knew it shouldn't matter, but the thought of Hermione and George doing _that _just seemed to bother him for some reason.

Hermione gave him a shocked look. "George!"

George laughed. "Relax, Granger. You really need to learn when you're being teased." He walked over to the closet and began to look through the clothes hanging there.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "So you're bluffing?"

"Maybe," George replied with a smirk as he pulled a shirt out of the closet, draping it over his arm. He glanced over at her. "I really do mean what I said about changing clothes in just a bit. I have no problems with it if you want to stay and watch, but just so you know I'm a commando type of guy."

It took Hermione a second to get what he meant. When she did, she turned a bright shade of red. "I-I'll just go," she stammered, turning away and swiftly walking to the door.

Fred laughed, deciding to follow Hermione. He didn't want to watch his twin change clothes, but it might be entertaining to see Hermione try to explain why she spent the night in the twins' room.

As he followed her into the hall, he could see there was apparently a small line for the bathroom. And by 'small line', that meant that Percy was pounding on the door while someone was apparently in the shower, loudly singing in Japanese. Fred chuckled, knowing that it would be a while. Charlie was notorious for taking longer showers than necessary, especially when he knew people were waiting. Fred had no idea _why _his older brother learned Japanese -- since he'd never been to Japan and had no plans to go there -- but figured he'd done so to make already annoying songs even more annoying. Fred had no idea what song Charlie was singing, but figured it to be from some Muggle musical.

Hermione paused in the hallway, looking at Percy strangely. "You know that won't help," she pointed out, apparently aware of the Charlie Rule of Showering. ('The more impatient people waiting are, the longer the shower takes.')

"I have to be at work in half an hour," Percy said. "He doesn't have any schedule to follow." He pounded on the door. "And do you have to sing in Japanese? It's obnoxious!" The sound of Charlie's singing in Japanese grew louder. Percy's eye twitched. "He is so annoying…"

Hermione chuckled. "I wonder if he's singing an actual translation of that song or just random Japanese to the tune."

"Does it matter?" Percy snarled as he hit the door a few more times.

Hermione shrugged. "Not really, but the song he's singing should have a lot of English mixed in it. There's a lot of references to old science fiction movies and actors in it."

Percy looked at her strangely. "You know what he's singing?"

Hermione nodded sagely. "Having seen the movie no less than twenty times, I can tell that he's singing 'Science Fiction Double Feature', the opening song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I wonder what would happen if one were to shout the audience participation dialogue through the door at him…"

Percy stared at her blankly. "Right…" He shook his head. "Why were you coming out of the twi- George's room?" His voice faltered slightly at the mention of whose room it was.

Hermione bit her lip nervously. "I, er, had to… I had to, er, remind George that… we have to, er, go to work early today," she lied horribly.

Fred laughed. "He's going to think the two of you were shagging in there now," he said.

Percy gave her a disbelieving look. He turned to the door as Charlie stopped singing and the water was turned off. "About time…" he muttered. "Hurry up in there!"

"I am!" Charlie's muffled protests could be heard from the other side. "Oh, I forgot to rinse the shampoo out of my hair…"

Percy growled and started pounding on the door again. Hermione just took the opportunity to sneak off and head downstairs.

Fred laughed as he followed Hermione. Nobody in his family was well known for their patience, although Charlie had always tried what patience they did have. When properly motivated, he could be one of the fastest people in the family to get ready for the day. However, if someone showed impatience at waiting then they would guarantee that he would be taking long showers and dragging his feet when it came to getting ready. Knowing Charlie, he would probably make Percy wait for another five or ten minutes, or for however long it took for Percy to snap and really start to foam at the mouth.

Fred floated down towards the kitchen where Hermione was heading. His mother was busy cooking breakfast. A glance to the family clock showed that once more Fred's hand was pointing at 'lost'. He wondered what it was pointing at on the day he came back to life for a day.

"That is a most ingenious bit of magic. I just wonder what effect it's having on your family's state of mind."

Fred nearly jumped as Koenma unexpectedly spoke from behind him. He turned around to see the toddler prince of the Underworld floating behind him. "What are you doing here?" Fred asked.

"Let's talk. Outside," Koenma said before vanishing.

Furrowing his brows in confusion, Fred floated outside.


	7. 07 The Resurrection of Fred Weasley

**Chapter 7**: The Resurrection of Fred Weasley  
[_June 6, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred crossed his arms as he floated in the sky above his house, waiting for Koenma to say whatever it was he was planning to say. From Koenma's tone of voice inside, it sounded serious. Fred was already plotting revenge in case he was told that he had failed his test somehow and wouldn't be coming back to life.

Koenma cleared his throat. "You'll be entering the dreams of three people tonight."

Fred continued to stare at him. "Why?"

"It seems that we made a miscalculation," Koenma said. "See, to truly restore a person to life, it must be done on a day that their body and soul are in perfect harmony. Normally that wouldn't be a problem. A person's bio-harmonics will fluctuate on a rather consistent cycle. In your case, however, that cycle is a bit longer than average."

Fred frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Koenma sighed and rubbed his temples. "Your trial may be incomplete, but there isn't time to complete it." He pointed to Fred. "An official decision has been made by the Underworld to restore you to life tomorrow."

Fred blinked.

The toddler prince cleared his throat again. "That is, unless, you'd rather wait until the next time your body and soul would be in harmony enough to restore you to life."

"When's that?" Fred asked, still trying to wrap his mind around what he was just told.

Koenma looked away. "In about twenty years or so."

Fred gaped at him. "Twenty _years_?!"

"That's why we've decided to bring you back to life tomorrow. Your spirit beast would be hatching in just a few weeks, anyway, so it's better to do it now rather than wait for the next chance. And that's why you'll be visiting the dreams of three people tonight," Koenma said. He raised a finger into the air. "Living energy is required to complete the revival, particularly since it's a bit premature."

Fred looked at him skeptically. "You better not be talking about a human sacrifice or anything…"

"I'm not the devil!" Koenma exclaimed, making a face. "Nothing like that. It's more like a breath of life." At Fred's blank look, he sighed. "Mouth-to-mouth. It's just like the concept of artificial respiration, except energy is being transferred instead of oxygen."

Fred gaped at him. "You mean someone has to _kiss _me back to life?"

Koenma nodded. "Essentially, yes. The person who does it must be someone who truly wishes for you to come back to life. In other words, somebody close to you. You will be allowed to contact three people that are close to you for this. All that needs to happen is for one of the people you contact to understand their dream and act upon it."

Fred gave Koenma a flat look. "One problem there. I'm related to practically everyone I'm close to. Either that, or they're blokes."

Koenma shrugged, unconcerned. "That's not my problem. It's entirely up to you who you contact. I'd recommend taking the rest of the day to think about it." He glanced up to the sky, where it appeared as though Karin was returning from the Underworld. "I'm sure she can answer any further questions you might have," he said, moments before vanishing from sight once more.

"Koenma! Dammit…" Fred frowned. He really wanted to get a further explanation on things, such as what kind of dream he was supposed to send the three people whose dreams he'd be entering. And just who he was supposed to visit in their dreams.

Fred sighed. He could probably visit Hermione in her dreams once more. It wouldn't really be so bad if she kissed him. But with the way that she doubted whether he was really coming back, she might dismiss the dream as being just that. She'd have to confirm it with someone else…

--- --- ---

George woke up a couple of minutes before his alarm was set to go off, completely weirded out by the strange dream he'd just had. In his dream, Fred was glowing gold. For whatever reason, George was standing over him, looking down on him. And then he leaned down over his twin and…

George shook his head to clear his thoughts. He had no idea why he would dream about kissing his twin, who was still in his comatose state on the other bed, and was _not _glowing. Maybe he was working too hard lately or something. In any case, he had to open the shop that morning. He didn't trust anyone else to do it quite yet. Even though he had successfully gotten Verity to return to work, she was on the closing shift.

Glancing to his alarm clock, he decided he might as well get up, as he wouldn't get back to sleep before the alarm went off to wake him. Besides, he didn't want any more weird dreams like that.

--- --- ---

Fred hadn't been that surprised that George had not acted on the dream. The only reason why he was sent the dream was to confirm Hermione's dream, since the two seemed to get on well lately. That, and since George did share the same room as Fred's sleeping body, once he saw Fred's body was glowing, he would realize that it wasn't just a dream, and hopefully get Hermione to act on it. Speaking of which…

Fred turned to Karin as he floated in his room. "Didn't you say my body should glow?" he asked, pointing to his body, which was not glowing.

She nodded. "It starts from the feet up. By noon your entire body should be glowing." She glanced to him. "You only sent two dreams. Are you sure that's wise?"

Fred shrugged. "There really isn't anyone else I can rely on for this. Nobody else in my family would get it, and as funny as it might be to send Harry a dream like this, I don't think he'd find it so amusing." He paused. "That, and I have my suspicions that he might swing that way, and I really don't want to start anything."

Karin rolled her eyes, and then turned to the door as it opened.

Hermione walked into the twins' room, frowning as she saw George wasn't in his bed. She went over to Fred's bed, standing next to it and looking down at him. Fred floated closer to her, wondering what she was going to do.

For a few moments she remained like that, looking down at him. Finally she sighed and shook her head. "No glow…" she said softly to herself. "I guess it was just an ordinary dream." She turned and walked towards the door.

Fred frowned. "Oi! Hermione! It wasn't an ordinary dream! Just talk to George about it!" Naturally, she couldn't hear him, so left the room to head downstairs. Fred huffed and folded his arms across his chest. "Dammit…"

Karin glanced to him. "You have until midnight tonight, so I don't see why you're so worried."

He looked to her. "But what if something comes up and they decide to sleep at the shop tonight? It could happen."

Karin sighed. "If you're so worried about that you could follow them there. It might do you some good to go somewhere outside the house for a change."

Fred huffed. "I've been outside the house."

The ferry girl rolled her eyes. "You've gone to the village. And even then you stayed close to the house usually."

Fred thought that was completely beside the point, but he would follow George and Hermione to the joke shop today. He was counting on them to bring him back. If he missed his chance today he'd have to wait another twenty years or so. If he had to wait that long he'd rather just move on to the afterlife, as it wouldn't be fair to anyone otherwise. Coming back once a month might be all well and good, but if he couldn't talk to anyone -- or even if he could -- it still wouldn't be fair to those around him.

"I guess today's my last day as a ghost," he said, drifting out of the room and floating outside. Karin followed him, watching him pensively. "Either I come back to life, or I move on." He glanced to her. "If, for whatever reason, I don't come back to life… Have they ever figured out where I'd be going?"

Karin nodded. "There was a debate, but they decided. I can't tell you, though."

Fred shrugged and looked back to the Burrow. "I just hope they'd be able to handle it if I died a second time."

"You won't," Karin said, hovering on her oar next to him. "You have to believe that they'll pull through."

Fred nodded, and turned to her. "Want to see the shop?"

--- --- ---

Fred had to admit that the premises of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes looked good as new. George and everyone had done a really good job cleaning everything up after the shop had remained abandoned and boarded up for months. It still felt like there was something missing, even if everything looked the same. Maybe it was because there wasn't any customers milling around inside yet. Of course, the shop wouldn't open for another fifteen minutes, and he didn't think that was quite it.

Fred thought that it had a lot more to do with the fact that George wasn't really smiling as he restocked the shelves with inventory for the day. Never before had either of them thought of working in their shop as actual _work_. It was just something they were born to do, bringing smiles and laughter to the faces of those around them. It came as naturally to them as breathing.

From all that he had watched over his family at the Burrow, Fred hadn't realized just how everyone was really handling things when they weren't there. George looked like he was just going through the motions, pretending things were fine when they weren't. Hermione, who was helping George with the morning shift, looked like she was deep in thought. That wasn't anything new, but as she adjusted a few displays around, Fred could see that there was something that was troubling her.

Fred frowned. "I don't get it," he said. "They act more or less normal when they're home, but what's with the gloominess about them?"

Karin glanced to him. "You died, Fred. And before they could really go through the grieving process, they found out that you weren't dead, but still in a comatose state. You can't expect them to be normal all the time."

"But they know I'm coming back," he protested. "And if they'd just talk to one another about the dreams they had last night, I'd probably be back to take afternoon shift."

Karin chuckled. "Would you really go back to work on your first day of being back to life?"

Fred shook his head, smirking. "Hell no. I'll be throwing myself a party. With fireworks, booze, strippers, the whole nine yards."

She rolled her eyes. "And how many people will there be at that party of yours?"

"Just me," he smirked. "Well, if anyone else wants to join me, they're welcome."

Hermione's hand froze as she was about to move an empty display box off the counter. "George? Do you think I'm a bad daughter for not going to Australia and taking the memory modification off my parents?"

George turned to face her. "What brings this on?"

"I don't know," she said. "I just… I don't know how I got to thinking about them, but it just occurred to me that the war is over, and they're still there with no memory of me."

George made a thoughtful face. "There are still rogue Death Eaters out there, so it's not like the war's _completely _over. There's still a lot of clean up."

Hermione shook her head. "But the immediate danger's over. It should be safe to bring them back, but I haven't. That should have been one of the first things I did, but…"

Fred turned to Karin, rolling his eyes. "Why does she have to agonize over everything?"

Karin shrugged. "She's gone through a lot. Everyone has."

Fred frowned. "Yeah, but usually she's so self-confident. Now it's like she's going back and forth between confidence and doubt."

Karin glanced to him. "Do you usually let people see all sides to you? Or just what you want them to see?"

Fred thought that she had a good point there. Normally he would only let people see his fun-loving side. He thought the world should be full of smiles and laughter, and so made it his mission to make people laugh and smile. And how could they if he wasn't smiling himself? So very few people saw his more serious side.

George walked over to Hermione and placed his hands on her upper arms. "You're not a bad daughter for not having gone to your parents sooner. A lot happened. Are your parents happy?"

Hermione slowly nodded. "They are."

"And you're going back to school in the fall?"

She paused. "I… I am."

George smiled and removed his hands. "Think of it like this. Say you go to Australia and find your parents. They're happy as they are now, and then you show up. They get their memories back. Suddenly, they realize the life they thought they had wasn't really their life. They learn they have a daughter who's a witch. They'd probably feel a bit hurt and betrayed that their daughter used magic on them."

Karin raised an eyebrow. "Your brother is a lot more sagacious than you seem to be."

Fred gave her a puzzled look. "A lot more what? Are you saying he's better looking than me? Because I'll have you know that I've always been the better-looking twin. Even before he lost his ear."

Karin glanced at him and shook her head.

George walked back to the shelf that he had been stocking. "I don't know what you've told them, but they'd probably demand a full explanation for what's been going on just so they can begin to understand why you would do such a thing. Even if you went to them today, and stayed with them for the rest of the summer, they'd probably still be feeling a bit alienated from you by the time you started up at Hogwarts in the fall."

Hermione frowned. "Are you saying I should just leave them where they are now?"

George glanced at her. "For the time being it might be better for both them and you to leave them be. I don't know how close you are to them, but from what I've seen and heard, you've been growing apart from them. I say wait until you have the time to completely invest your attention to repairing your relationship with them. Or, if they're truly happy the way they are, possibly even let them stay that way."

"And if it were your parents?" Hermione asked, glaring at him. "Would you just let them stay that way?"

George paused in thought. "I would want them to be happy. If they were happy where they were, and bringing them back would only cause them pain, then it might be better to let them remain happy. I guess it's really up to you, though." He reached into the Canary Cream bin to take out a ball that was in the wrong place. The ball exploded in his hand, and after the smoke cleared, George ended up in a nice shade of blue. "Dammit…"

Hermione smiled. "You look like a Smurf."

George glared at her half-heartedly. "Yeah? Well, so do you."

Hermione chuckled. "You don't even know what a Smurf is."

He stuck his tongue out at her. "And you don't know what a spliff is, so there."

"Actually, I do know what a spliff is," Hermione said, looking rather amused.

"Ha!" George pointed at her victoriously. "I just made that word up."

Hermione chuckled. "No, you didn't. It's slang for a marijuana joint."

George paused. "Oh." He gave her a weird look. "Wait, how in the world would _you _know that?"

Hermione shrugged. "I got bored once, so read the dictionary."

Fred laughed. Only Hermione would read the dictionary for _fun_. He wished they would talk about their dream, though. If just one of them were to mention it, the other could confirm that they had the same dream. They'd realize that it wasn't just a dream, and he could come back to life.

He glanced to Karin. "I know I can't enter their dreams or possess anyone, but would I be able to give them a sign of some kind to get them on the right track?"

She looked at him in confusion. "What kind of sign?"

Fred glanced toward the display of Patented Daydream Charms by the counter. "Just a bit of a conversation starter."

Karin placed a finger to her mouth and made a thoughtful face. "I suppose it's not really communicating… And even if it was, Lord Koenma has already arranged for you to come back… And he himself left a _note_, of all things…" She lowered her hand. "Oh, go ahead."

Fred deliberately floated through George, making his twin shiver and stand up straight, looking around him. He chuckled as he continued floating towards the counter.

Affecting the world around him was easier said than done. He remembered what Mike had told him about concentrating. By using his emotions as a fuel, he should be able to concentrate his spirit energy to influence something tangible, like Mike had with the marker.

He wanted to knock one of the boxes to the floor. That would certainly get their attention, and hopefully get them to start thinking about their dreams. George was already aware that there was a presence in the shop now, and hopefully he'd be smart enough to figure it out. If not, Hermione would, as she seemed to be aware that George had felt something. Well, George outright told her that he felt a presence, so now it was up to Fred to follow through.

He had no idea how the concentration thing was supposed to work. He thought he was concentrating, and a few times had tried to knock a box to the ground. Every time he tried, his hand would go right through the box. "Dammit," he grumbled, getting frustrated. "Why isn't this working?"

Karin went over to him. "You're trying to knock the display down?"

"Just a box," Fred growled, his hand passing through a box once more. "How did Mike do this, anyway?"

Karin made a thoughtful face. After a long pause, she said, "Focus your energy into your hand. Let your frustration fuel your energy and make it solid. When you think you're focused enough, then try."

Fred glanced at her briefly before looking back to the display. It was worth a try at least, since his attempts just weren't working. He took in a deep breath, focusing on gathering his spirit energy into his hand. It was strange, but he could feel his hand become warm, and if he wasn't mistaken, it even glowed a little. Concentrating, he pushed against one of the boxes.

The box fell to the ground. George and Hermione both turned to the direction of the fallen box. Fred stared at his hand in amazement. "I did it," he said in disbelief.

Karin smiled. "And now you have the basics of using your Reiki down." At the confused look Fred gave her, she clarified, "Reiki is the actual term for 'spirit energy'. 'Rei' means 'spirit', and 'ki' means 'energy'."

"Oh," Fred said, watching his twin as George picked up the fallen box.

George stared at the box in contemplation for a few moments before putting it back on the display. "Did you have any strange dreams last night, Granger?" he asked, turning to Hermione.

"Strange dreams?" Hermione repeated. She shook her head. "Not really."

Fred's jaw dropped. How in the world could she forget?! "Oi!" he shouted at Hermione. "You did too have a dream last night! You have to go back and kiss me so I can come back to life, remember?!"

"I wouldn't call it strange…" Hermione continued, looking away from George. Her cheeks were slightly pink. "But I did have a dream about Fred last night."

"Was he glowing?" George asked.

Hermione turned to him and nodded. "He was. And then…" she trailed off, her face turning red.

George made a thoughtful face. "And then you kissed him and he woke up," he finished for her. At her nod, he smiled slightly. "I had the same dream."

Hermione took a step towards him. "You dreamed that I kissed him?"

"Huh?" George blinked. "Oh. Yeah. I dreamed that you kissed him and he woke up."

Fred shook his head, chuckling. He knew perfectly well that wasn't quite what George dreamed about, but he'd tease him about it later.

"He wasn't glowing when I checked on him, though," Hermione said, frowning.

George shrugged and glanced to the clock. He flicked his wand at the door to change the sign on it to say the shop was open, and unlock the door for customers. "Who knows? It might have been some weird dream effect or something. I could have sworn that I saw some cherry blossoms or something in the dream."

Karin glanced to Fred, who shrugged. "What?" Fred asked innocently. "I went for effect."

Karin shook her head. "Idiot," she muttered.

George walked behind the counter and unlocked the register. "So why isn't that a strange dream, Granger?" he asked, smirking at her slyly. "Do you dream of kissing Fred often?"

Hermione flushed. "I… That's… Shut up!"

George chuckled. "Is that why you spend so much time watching over him? Because you _fancy _him and want to kiss him?"

Hermione glared at him. "I do not!"

Fred raised an eyebrow in curiosity. Hermione fancied him?

George smirked and wagged a finger. "You kissed him when he was in my body, though."

Hermione frowned. "I told you. I got caught up in the moment."

"Must have been some moment," George teased.

Hermione huffed. "And how do you know that I didn't mean to kiss you?"

George raised an eyebrow. "Do it, then," he challenged.

Hermione blinked. "Er, what?"

George chuckled. "I'm pretty sure you knew who you were with. But if you really meant to kiss me, then just do it."

Fred frowned. "Oi! Enough with propositioning Hermione! You've already got Verity if you need some bird to snog!" Well, he didn't know if George and Verity were back to being 'shag buddies' or not, and they did have different shifts…

Karin glanced to him, smirking. "Jealous?"

Fred glared at her. "I am not," he huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

Hermione looked away from George. "I seem to recall that you had recoiled the moment you realized what was going on."

George shrugged. "Yeah, well, think of it like this. I'd blacked out for no reason, and you had your tongue in my mouth when I came to. Can you honestly say you wouldn't have pulled back if you were in the same situation?"

Hermione muttered something about that being beside the point.

George laughed and walked over to her. Hermione froze as he approached her. He smirked and placed his hands on her shoulders. "See, I'm not so sure you even know who it is you want to kiss. I still contend that you meant to kiss Fred. Do you want to claim otherwise?"

Hermione glanced to the door nervously. "Shouldn't there be customers?"

Fred growled. Yes, there should be customers. She was supposed to be bringing him back to life, not flirting with his twin. Well, technically George was flirting with _her_, but George certainly didn't need someone to kiss _him _back to life.

"Right after opening is always slow," George said dismissively. "And don't try to change the subject. Caught up in the moment or not, you meant to kiss one of us. So which of us was it?"

Hermione blushed and looked away. "I can't…"

George raised an eyebrow. "Can't admit it, or can't decide?"

Hermione looked very reluctant to answer, and before she could, the bell over the shop door rang, alerting them that a customer was entering. George let go of Hermione, and went over to greet the customer.

Fred was very grateful for the customer, and floated towards Hermione. "It'll be slow for a while. Why don't you go back home for a bit and bring me back to life?"

Karin gave him an odd look. "You know she can't hear you."

"I don't care," Fred grumbled. "I'd rather not watch my brother flirt with the girl who's supposed to be bringing me back to life when she could be bringing me back to life."

Karin shook her head. "So you like this girl?"

Fred glanced to her. "What are you talking about? She's just a friend of my little brother. She's like a sister to me."

Karin raised an eyebrow. "I wonder if George there views her as a sister…"

Fred frowned. "George has has no concept of how to be in a real relationship. All he's ever had were 'shag buddies' and one night stands. At least I've had actual girlfriends."

Karin chuckled. "I seem to recall there was mention of a couple one night stands in _your _file, too."

Fred glared at her. "A couple. But I've had actual girlfriends. It doesn't matter if the relationships were short lived or not. At least I know how to act in a relationship."

"Oh?" Karin teased. "So you want to be in a relationship with her?" She gestured to Hermione, who was ringing up the customer's purchase.

"I never said that," Fred protested.

Karin laughed. "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know."

Fred glared at her. He refused to dignify any more of her foolish accusations with a response. Just because he wanted Hermione to kiss him didn't mean that he liked her or anything. He just needed her help to come back to life, and he'd rather get it from her than from George, because being kissed by his twin would be just way too weird.

--- --- ---

By the time George and Hermione got off work, Fred was extremely annoyed with the both of them. They could have at least used their lunch break to pop back into the Burrow and check to see whether his body was glowing or not. Instead they actually used their lunch break to eat lunch. Hermione had gone to the Leaky Cauldron, while George just got some take out from a Chinese restaurant in Muggle London and ate in the back room. (His coloration returned to normal after an hour of looking like something Hermione called a 'Smurf'.)

Harry did apparently make it into Auror training, and would start Monday. A small party was held to celebrate, much to the amusement of customers who walked in and were given party hats or favors to help celebrate.

Fred was really hoping that Ron was not being paid to help out at the shop, because he had never seen someone take so many breaks and lunch breaks before. He had no idea what time Ron was supposed to arrive, but supposed that he had arrived late (as George had commented as such when Ron entered the shop). Ron was good with the customers, though, even if he was easily sidetracked.

Fred could only presume that George and Verity had ended their 'shag buddy' relationship, as Verity apparently had a fiancé if the engagement ring she wore was any indication of. And unless George had been keeping some major secrets, Fred really doubted that it was him. That, and she had been dropped off at the shop by some other bloke who she had kissed before walking in. Since Fred knew that his brother was not the type to fool around with a girl who was taken, he supposed it was over between them.

It was around dinnertime by the time George and Hermione got off work and finally saw fit to go back to the Burrow. And even then they didn't go straight to the twins' room as Fred had hoped, but had taken their seats at the dinner table. So Fred was extremely annoyed at them. At any point during the day they could have gone back to check on him, but didn't. And one of them could do so now, because his body was glowing, and then they could see that he was ready to be brought back to life.

Fred growled as he floated lazily by the staircase. "It's already six. Why can't one of them go up there to make sure that wild animals haven't mangled my body or something?"

Karin glanced to him. "Wild animals?"

Fred nodded. "Like bears or something. Or a pack of wild dogs." He turned to Karin. "About fifteen years ago, there was a small child in a town about twenty miles from here that was mauled by a pack of wild dogs. The kid survived, but that's beside the point. Maybe those dogs came back and mauled my body or something. And nobody would know because nobody has bothered to check up on me!"

Karin sighed. "I don't think wild animals of any kind could have gotten in here without someone noticing."

Fred frowned. "You don't know that, though." He paused. "Or maybe the garden gnomes snuck in here and got their revenge…"

Karin gave him a flat look. "You just saw your body not five minutes ago, and it didn't look mangled in the least."

He turned to her. "But I could only see the parts not covered by the blankets. What if some creature ate the lower half of my body, and we can't see it because the blankets are covering the missing half of my body?"

Karin smacked him over the head with her oar. "Stop being stupid!" she shouted. She pointed at a clock in the sitting room that told the time and remounted her oar. "You have six hours. I'm sure that one of them is bound to go up to your room by then."

"And if they don't?" Fred asked. "They know that they had the same dream. You would think one of them would check up on me to see if I was glowing or not. Instead, they just ended up _flirting _with one another. I hope they didn't forget about me."

Karin stared at him pensively. "Why does their flirting bother you?"

He glared at her. "Because it's distracted them both from checking to see if I'm glowing or not. And I'm kind of counting on them to come back to life."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is that the only reason why?"

Fred growled at her, and then floated towards the kitchen, where George and Hermione were eating dinner. Charlie was back from helping to rebuild Hogwarts, and Ginny was still under house arrest for getting caught trying to seduce Harry. Percy and his father were still working late at the Ministry, and Ron and Harry were working at the joke shop. Fred had no doubts that Ron was probably taking yet another lunch break right about now. Bill had probably gone back to Shell Cottage after helping Charlie at Hogwarts.

Fred noticed his mother was glancing worriedly at the family clock. Following her gaze, his eyes widened. "Why is my hand on 'mortal peril'?!" he exclaimed.

Karin raised a finger, going into explanation mode. "Right now you're at a crossroads between life and death. Until you come back to life, it will probably remain at mortal peril." She lowered her finger. "At least, I guess that's how it works. I have no idea how the magic of your family's clock works."

Fred frowned. "You're not very helpful, you know that?"

Karin shrugged. "Just be patient. Your brother can probably sense how impatient you are."

Fred huffed. "You'd think that he'd want me to come back as soon as possible."

"He probably does," Karin said. She gestured to George, who was standing up in preparation to leave the table. "It is a major leap of faith for the living, to follow a dream that may or may not be true. If he's wrong about his dream meaning something, he's set himself up for a serious letdown."

Fred glanced to her. "But their dreams did mean something!"

Karin gave him a sidelong look. "But how does he really know that?"

Hermione as well seemed to be finished with her dinner early, standing up to leave the table. Fred watched them both carefully as they went to the staircase. He hadn't really noticed it before, but there was an air of apprehensiveness about them. He supposed that from their perspective, if they went up to the twins' room to discover that Fred wasn't glowing, that it would be devastating for their hopes to be dashed like that.

Fred floated ahead of them into the twins' room, waiting for Hermione and George to enter. He hoped they weren't planning on dragging their feet about this any longer. He could understand where their reluctance came from, as they had gotten their hopes up. He was impatient, though.

"He really is glowing," Hermione said in a hushed tone as she walked into the room towards Fred's sleeping form.

George closed the door behind them, staring at Fred. "It's true, then?" He glanced to Hermione. "What are you waiting for?" he asked anxiously.

Karin chuckled. "I see patience doesn't run in your family."

Fred floated closer to Hermione and his body, watching her intently as he hovered over himself. "Don't start doubting again, Hermione. I really will come back. Just…"

Hermione knelt down next to Fred's sleeping form. "I hope this works…" she whispered, leaning down over him. Slowly, she lowered her head and pressed her lips against his. After a few seconds, she pulled up. The glow around Fred's body began to fade. Hermione sank back onto her knees, staring at him. "It didn't work?"

Fred wished that the light of the room was not directly over his face. He slowly raised a hand to cover his eyes as he sat up. His headache felt like he was experiencing a major hangover, even though that was impossible, as he didn't have anything to drink since before he died. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked over at George and Hermione, who were staring at him in disbelief.

"So, Hermione… What was that about discussing compromising positions when I had my own body back?" Fred quipped, smirking.

He was immediately tackled by two very relieved blurs that wrapped him into a hug. Normally he was not a touchy-feely type of guy (unless it was a girl he was touching or feeling), but he'd let it pass this once.

"Never do that again," George said. "Never die on me again."

Fred smiled. "I don't plan on dying again for a very long time."

And he didn't. After everything he had just gone though, he planned to live for a very long time. But first…

"Do you guys have the party all ready to go?" Fred asked, extricating himself from their grasps.

George chuckled, wiping his eyes. "We've got a caseload of Firewhisky and a crate full of fireworks. We've got the music, and Charlie apparently knows some strippers. Give us an hour and we're all set."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "An hour? How disappointing. It should only take you fifteen minutes at most."

George shrugged, smiling. "Yeah, but think of how long it'll take for you to get mum to let you go."

Fred smirked and stood up. "Good point."

With that, he decided it was time to head back downstairs. He didn't know why, but being dead sure had made him hungry.

--- --- ---

Karin turned to Koenma, who floated next to her as they watched over the Weasley residence. "You never told him about the catch, did you?"

Koenma glanced to her and chuckled. "He'll find out about it soon enough. I really do think he'll work out well. He might not follow the rules unless they suit him, but that can be a good thing."

Karin made a thoughtful sound. "Are you sure?"

Koenma nodded. "I think one of his predecessors would have worked out if it weren't for his unfortunate ancestry. But I checked him out. There are no demons lurking in Fred Weasley's family tree."

"How far did you go back?" Karin asked.

Koenma sighed. "Somewhere around a hundred generations. Painstaking work, but I wanted to be sure."

Karin let out a low whistle. "So you think he'll work out."

"I hope so," Koenma said. "I don't think he'll be alone in this, although only time will tell."

Karin looked back down to the Burrow, wondering just what the future had in store for her charge.


	8. 08 Fred Weasley, Underworld Detective

**Chapter 8**: Fred Weasley, Underworld Detective  
[_June 6-13, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred bounded down the stairs two at a time. He knew that George and Hermione were behind him, although they were moving at a far more leisurely pace. He knew they'd make their way downstairs eventually, and looking back to see how far behind him they were might cause him to trip and break his neck. That would truly suck if he were to die so soon after coming back to life.

He made it downstairs in one piece, and immediately went into the kitchen. "Charlie, I want you to get the strippers," he ordered. "We're having a party." He smiled at his brother's surprised expression and turned to Ginny. "Ginny, I want you to invite about a hundred people. It's going to be a big party."

Ginny blinked. "Excuse you?"

Fred smiled and turned to Ron. "Ron…" He paused, doing a double take. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" he asked.

Ron looked over to him. "Verity said if I took one more lunch break that I might as well go home for the night," he said amidst a mouthful of food.

Fred nodded. "Smart girl. I don't know if we're paying you or not, but you're fired. I think I'll have to give her a pay raise while I'm at it. But go back to the shop and get Harry. Then contact everyone else in the family."

His mother stood up. "George, what are you…?" Her voice trailed off as Fred brushed back his hair, revealing both of his intact ears. "Oh my…" She stood up, staring at him in disbelief. "Fred?"

"You're lucky you didn't kill yourself on the stairs, the rate you were going," George said as he entered the kitchen.

Fred chuckled. "Right now, I'm more worried about dying of starvation. Didn't you guys feed me anything when I was dead?" He grabbed an empty plate and sat down at the table, piling it high with food.

He had already been prepared for the reactions around him. The cries of relief, the hugs, the questions about just what happened. He was also expecting his mother to wrap him into a crushing bear hug, and was not disappointed.

"Oxygen…" Fred gasped, trying to loosen his mother's grip on him. She loosened it slightly, crying about how she missed him, and was afraid that he might never wake up again.

George had been right that it would take a while to pry his mother off him. It wasn't until Charlie came back from the other room -- stating that the strippers were on their way -- that his mother let go of him. Fred laughed as his mother started in on Charlie, saying that no stripper was going to set foot on their property. In the meantime, George and Hermione had gone outside to decorate the yard for Fred's 'welcome back' party.

It wasn't long before the rest of the family had arrived. Ron apparently thought it was funny to contact everyone and say there was an emergency at the Burrow, and to come back immediately. Fred appreciated the sentiment, but believed that Ron really did deserve getting yelled at for worrying everyone.

George hadn't been exaggerating when he said they had a caseload of Firewhisky. There were at least two dozen one-gallon jugs. Fred hadn't known that Firewhisky came in gallon jugs, but wasn't too surprised.

Fred had no idea who all the people Ginny got to come over were, but he saw a number of familiar faces. Many former Gryffindors were there, as were several surviving members of the DA. His mother wasn't too happy with the sheer number of people who had responded to Ginny's 'call to party', but that was why they were having the party in the backyard and not inside the house. Throughout the night, fireworks would be set off at random intervals, much to his mother's dismay. She felt that it wasn't a good idea, in case the Muggles of the village saw them above the trees.

Fred didn't care if the Muggles saw them or not. Even though he hadn't spoken to them, he kind of wished he could have invited some of the people he met when he was dead. After what they went through, Mary and Elizabeth deserved to have a good time at a party like this. Fred knew that Mike would certainly have enjoyed a party like this, and hoped that his friend was doing all right in the afterlife. Wherever he might be.

Fred laughed as a few of the exploding balls of color were tossed around. When the balls exploded, they turned the person handling them into a different color. He saw that Oliver Wood was trying to juggle three of the balls at once, much to the amusement of the crowd around him.

Fred downed some more of his Firewhisky as he sat down on the lawn and watched the crowd. He had briefly considered getting his broom out to hover slightly over the crowd -- much like Karin did on her oar -- but thought better of it.

Hermione sat down next to him. "Sickle for your thoughts?" she asked, glancing to him.

Fred smiled. "It's good to be alive," he said.

"You looked a bit wistful for a moment there," she said, holding on to her own drink, which looked like she had barely touched it.

Fred shrugged. "Just thinking of some of the people I met when I was dead."

Hermione glanced towards the crowd. "So you were actually dead."

Fred chuckled and pointed up to the banner that George had strewn across the yard, stating 'Welcome Back from the Dead, Fred'. "I guess that being dead gives one a whole new perspective on life." He glanced to her and smirked. "So how often do you dream about me?" he asked.

Hermione raised an eyebrow, although there was a slight hint of pink on her cheeks. "What makes you think I dream about you at all?"

He leaned towards her. "Well, if you don't think dreaming about kissing me is strange, that must mean you've had a dream like that before."

Hermione scoffed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Fred chuckled. "Sure you don't." He leaned closer to her. "So did you?"

She shot him a weird look. "Did I what?"

He smirked. "Ravage my body while I was out for the count?"

Hermione made an exasperated sound. "Oh, yes, Fred," she deadpanned. "I ravaged you quite frequently."

He smiled. "Glad to hear that."

She shook her head. "In fact," she continued in the same expressionless tone, "I'll be having your illicit love child in a few months."

Fred laughed. "You shameless hussy. Taking advantage of a dead man like that."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't make jokes like that," she said.

He looked at her questioningly. "I shouldn't make jokes?"

"About being dead," Hermione said, looking to the ground in front of her. "It wasn't easy on anyone. And I…" She shook her head. "You've been watching over everyone, right?"

"Not all the time," Fred admitted. "I popped in every now and then, though."

"Then you don't know just how hard it was," she said, turning to him. "Why did you choose me? To send messages to, I mean. Out of everyone, why me?"

Fred shrugged. At the time, he'd felt like she was really the only choice. She was the voice of reason that everyone would listen to. "I guess I figured that you'd get it. You're smart, and I knew you'd listen."

"I'm a realist, Fred," Hermione said. "I'm used to facts, not believing in dreams. I know now they were more than dreams, but at the time I couldn't have know that. I didn't want to believe, because if they weren't true…" She turned away from him. "You were asking me to hold onto a hope for something there was no proof of."

Fred remembered that Karin had said something to that effect when he'd complained about how long it took George and Hermione to check on his body. "In the end things went back to normal, though," he said.

She turned to him sharply. "No, they didn't! You can't honestly expect to just come back to life and expect everything to go back to the way things had been before you died! The people around you," she made a sweeping gesture to the other partygoers, "they've suffered, Fred. They've grieved and they've hoped and they've gone through all the pain involved in not knowing what they should do! There were times when I didn't know whether you were going to ever wake up again."

"Do I really matter that much to you?" Fred asked. "We weren't that close before or anything." He wondered how exactly their conversation had gone from teasing to talking about their _feelings_. Especially about such a serious topic.

Hermione scrutinized him for a few moments, and then shook her head and stood up. "No, I suppose we aren't that close. I'm going to go and make sure your sister hasn't gotten into the Firewhisky."

Fred nodded. "While you're at it, make sure she hasn't decided to get into some bloke's pants." As Hermione rolled her eyes and walked away, he muttered. "The girl should be registered as a predator."

He heard someone call out his name to join in with an impromptu dance contest. Downing the rest of his glass of Firewhisky, he set the glass down and went over to join the group of dancers.

--- --- ---

Every day that week Fred was treated out to lunch by a different member of his family. His mother had a rough time with the way his hand on the family clock kept changing, but she had suspected there was something strange going on with him. He apologized to her, telling her that he hadn't been allowed to contact anyone while undergoing his trial to come back to life. He explained that he had been able to briefly possess George right before his trial was to start, but that he figured it best not to tell anyone that he was really Fred while in his body, lest someone decide to lock George away at St. Mungo's. His mother agreed with that assessment. While she had thought something was strange, if George had come downstairs claiming to be Fred, she would have sent him in for psychiatric examination, regardless of what the clock said.

Fred learned that Percy had practically been throwing himself into his work, so overcome with guilt that he had been. He had been relieved to learn that Fred wasn't dead, but still felt guilty that Fred had been in a coma. He felt that what happened was his fault, so he tried to keep his mind off things by working. Fred tried to reassure his brother that he did not blame him for what happened. He had actually been glad that Percy was able to crack a joke in the middle of a war, as it had been far too long since he had last heard his older brother joke about anything. Percy always had taken himself far too seriously, and Fred made sure to let him know that. He didn't want his brother to make the same mistake of distancing himself from his family, albeit for a much different reason.

Even though Fred already knew, Bill and Fleur let him know they were expecting their first child in late December. He congratulated them, informing them that he would make sure to spoil their kid with lots of items from his joke shop. He was then promptly told that he was not to give his niece or nephew anything that did not meet with their approval first. In other words, any of his products was banned from their house. Especially the Transmuted Teddy Bear they'd come up with for a children's plaything. Recalling how Fred had turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider when they were children, the twins had come up with a teddy bear that would change into various different (inanimate) things when hugged. Bill did not want his first-born traumatized. Fred vowed to sneak a few things past them.

Charlie never did give a good explanation as to why Fred's body had initially been placed in their dad's tool shed. He just said to ask Bill, who had already told him to ask Charlie. Charlie also felt guilty over what happened, only his guilt was more over not being there sooner. Fred told him it wasn't his fault, and to stop blaming himself. He swore that the next person on the self-blame wagon would be smacked across the face with a rubber fish.

Ron begged Fred to re-hire him, since their mother was bothering him to either get a job or go back to school. He said that George told him it was entirely up to Fred. Fred thought that it was rather funny to watch his brother grovel, and decided to take mercy on Ron by re-hiring him at severely reduced pay, and under the condition that he had to check in with whoever was in charge at the time before going on break or lunch. Ron agreed to those conditions, so got his job back.

On his much needed day off from the family lunches (of which he still had a few to go over still), he decided to take a walk down Diagon Alley to see how much had changed. There were many shops still boarded up, but some new stores had opened, as well as a few old stores that had re-opened. He was glad to see Ollivander's wand shop was open again, although Fortescue's ice cream parlor wasn't open yet. There was a sign on the window stating that it would be re-opening under new management soon. Fred thought that whoever the new managers were might want to re-open it really soon to get the busy summer crowd.

Aside from the various shops, there were vendor stalls set up throughout the alley. People were peddling everything from beans ('the magical fruit', according to the vendor) to homemade jewelry and clothing. There was even a magical tattoo artist who was displaying designs (although not tattooing anyone at their stall, thankfully). Fred supposed that many of the vendors were people trying to rebuild their own lives however they could. He thought it brought a lot more character to the alley, and enjoyed moving along them, seeing what people were trying to sell.

"Do you have a minute?" a vendor called to him as he passed. He stopped and raised an eyebrow at the fortune teller sitting behind a table with a great crystal ball upon it. The vendor was female, although it was difficult to tell much more than that, as she wore a scarf over her mouth and a hood over her head. The only part of her face that was visible was her violet colored eyes.

Fred pointed at himself. "Me? I don't really believe in Divination," he said. He thought it was a bit of a joke, really.

It was possible the fortune teller smiled. He couldn't tell, as the scarf covered her mouth. She looked down at her crystal ball, waving her hands over it. "You have been bestowed with many strange gifts and talents."

Fred watched her with amusement. Divination was full of a lot of vagueness. She had better not expect him to pay for any kind of 'reading', though.

She looked up at him. "Those traits will assist you as you find your true mission in life."

"My true mission?" Fred repeated. "Sorry, but I already have a job," he said. "I'd recommend improving your skills, or you might need to find a different line of work to be in." He continued on his way, not looking back as he waved over his shoulder the strange fortune teller.

He decided to see how things were going at the joke shop. He continued down Diagon Alley and opened the door to Number 93. He walked into his joke shop, glancing up as the bell rang. "Weren't we going to change that into a cow bell?" he asked as he went up to George, who was ringing up a customer.

"We were," George said, counting the customer's change. "But then we decided it would be funnier to have the door make rude noises instead. We just never installed the new bell."

Fred shrugged and leaned against the counter. "Lots of weird booths have opened, haven't they?"

George nodded, smiling to the customer as they walked off with their purchase. "I passed one that did body piercings earlier. Apparently Ron did as well, as he got his eyebrow pierced."

Fred smirked. "Mum's going to kill him when she sees it."

George chuckled. "No doubt about that. It's not like Ginny's navel piercing. She can at least hide that."

Fred frowned. "Ginny has her navel pierced?"

George shrugged. "She has since her third year. Apparently some girl from Beauxbatons knew how to do body piercings."

Fred shook his head. "And I'm only learning about this now?"

George raised an eyebrow. "Tell me again. Why was Ginny angry at me?"

"Fair enough," Fred conceded.

Fred had already told George what had happened while he was possessing George's body, including confronting Ginny about her plan to seduce Harry Potter. George had laughed, saying that explained a lot about why Ginny was so angry with him. He was especially amused by how she told Fred that she wasn't a virgin. George had long suspected that she wasn't, although didn't know the details or names of who her partners might have been.

Fred had apparently been kept out of the loop about Ginny's activities because he was deemed 'unable to handle the information'. George tried to claim it as proof of the fact that half the Weasley boys were 'cool', and the other half were not. According to George, he, Bill, and Charlie were 'cool', while Fred, Percy, and Ron were not. Fred disagreed with that assessment.

The bell over the door chimed again as a customer entered. Fred's eyes narrowed in suspicion as they approached. The 'customer' was approaching the counter and glancing around nervously, and he had his hand stuffed inside his robe, as if holding onto something he wanted to keep hidden. Fred had his hand on his wand, ready to draw and cast a spell.

Most suspicious of all was that the 'customer' seemed to have horns. There might be many weird looking people in the magical community, but horns were something one usually went to St. Mungo's to treat.

George watched the 'customer' approach. "Can I help you with something?" he asked.

After glancing around shiftily, the 'customer' looked to George, drawing out the hidden object from under his robes. "Empty the reg--"

"_Stupefy_!" Fred cast, sending a jet of red light flying at the would-be robber. The man collapsed to the ground unconscious, and his gun clattered onto the floor.

George sighed. "How stupid can you get?"

Fred nodded in agreement, and then looked down at confusion at the unconscious man on the ground. Out of the unconscious man's mouth, a tiny little creature with green skin and horns began to crawl out. Fred bent down to examine it. "What the hell?"

The creature looked up at him in alarm. "Uh-oh." It tried to run off, but Fred grabbed it before it could do so. It was no taller than six inches, and was easily held in one hand.

Fred stood up, holding the ugly little creature. "What the hell are you?"

The little creature's eyes widened. "How can you see me? No human should be able to see me! And to grab me with your bare hands!"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? Do you really think I'd let you get away?"

"And you even understand me!" the creature exclaimed.

"What is that thing?" George asked, looking at his brother in confusion.

Fred shrugged, staring at the creature. "Good question."

"Oh, good, you caught him already."

Fred glanced towards the entrance to the shop, where the strange fortune teller from before walked in through the door the would-be robber had left open.

"That little guy is a demon with four previous convictions," the fortune teller said. "He invades a human's body, trying to lead them down the path of evil. I was actually going to assign you to catch him, but since you've already done so, I suppose that won't be necessary. I knew that your abilities would assist you in your mission. You'll make a fine detective for the Underworld."

Fred gave her a flat look. "Er, excuse you? Just who are you, anyway?"

The fortune teller chuckled. "How soon you forget." She took off the scarf and hood, and shook her head, letting her dark purple hair fall to her shoulders.

Fred gaped at her in shock. "Karin?!"

Karin chuckled. "I've been sent to act as your assistant of sorts. I'll be sending you assignments and providing guidance as needed. First things first, though…" She held out her hand, and a jar appeared in it.

The tiny creature struggled in Fred's hand. "What? You're not putting me in that!" it protested.

Karin took the struggling creature from Fred and dropped it into the jar. As she closed the lid, the jar and creature vanished. "A transport straight to the Underworld, where he'll be sentenced and incarcerated."

George cleared his throat. "Er, excuse me, but who are you?"

"Hmm?" Karin glanced to him. "Me? I'm Karin, a messenger from the Underworld. And you must be George. I've seen a lot of you. Fred here liked to hang about the house far too much for his own good."

George blinked. "How do you know him?"

Karin smiled. "I was his guide during his trial to come back to life."

Fred glared at her. "Yeah, but I'm alive now. I don't need a guide anymore."

She turned to him. "Do you remember when I told you there was a catch to coming back to life? And you said you didn't care what it was?"

Fred paused. He did seem to recall something like that…

Karin raised a finger into the air. "Well, the catch is this. In return for your life being restored, you will become the Underworld's newest detective. You will help to apprehend criminals that normally would escape notice of authorities in the human realm, like that little guy you just caught."

Fred frowned. "What was that thing?"

"A low level demon," Karin said, as casually as one would say they had a pet dog.

Fred's eyes widened. "A demon?!"

She waved him off and turned to George. "Were you able to see that little creature?"

George nodded. "Ugly little thing with horns and green skin? Yeah, I saw it. Wasn't I supposed to?"

Karin made an impressed sound. "You shouldn't have seen anything at all. It seems as though your sixth sense is more developed than I thought. I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, I think."

Fred looked at her flatly. "Does that mean you'll be smacking him around with an oar, too?"

George blinked. "What?" He turned to Karin. "What do you mean, 'my sixth sense'?"

Karin smiled mysteriously and held out her hand. An oar appeared in it. "I'll be checking in with Lord Koenma now to let him know you've completed your first assignment. I'll be back later with further instructions." She got onto the oar and waved at him. "Bye now…" she called before vanishing out of sight.

Fred frowned as he glared at the place where she had been. "You have _got _to be kidding."

George shrugged. "Well, at least you have a cute assistant."

Fred glanced to him. "Karin is not _cute_."

George laughed, and peered over the counter to the unconscious guy on the floor. "I guess I'll contact magical law enforcement to deal with this guy. How annoying…" he said as he pressed a button under the counter. Their shop -- like many others -- had an alarm set up that would alert magical law enforcement if needed. While there had been a few attempts to rob the store in the past, nobody had ever succeeded.

The unconscious robber was raised into the air, held upside down as if an invisible rope was around his ankles. It wasn't long before a bucket of a sticky substance conjured itself over the robber, pouring over him. And then the feathers appeared.

They had altered the alarm so that in addition to alerting magical law enforcement, the perpetrator would be detained, tarred, and feathered. Their regular after-hours burglar alarm did something similar, but required them to contact magical law enforcement later.

Fred glanced to his watch. Despite the fact that Ron was supposed to be at work, his younger brother was nowhere in sight. Fred sighed, deciding that he might as well take over Ron's shift, since he hadn't really had anything else to do.

--- --- ---

Fred couldn't help but think that Hermione was avoiding him. Ever since his 'back to life' party, she had stopped hanging out in the twins' room, and was back to associating with Ron and Harry. Not that there was anything wrong with her being with her friends, but Fred wished that she could at least talk to him. It was quite a change, since she had spent so much time with George in their room while Fred was waiting to come back to life.

He wondered if maybe there was something going on between her and George, but that wouldn't explain her behavior in the least. That, and he didn't want to think there was anything going on between those two. They just seemed so… ill matched. No, Fred had a feeling that it was himself that Hermione was trying to avoid, and planned to get to the bottom of things.

He wondered if George knew anything about it, so decided to ask him as they were changing into their pajamas while getting ready for bed. "Do you know what Hermione's deal is?" Fred asked bluntly.

George looked surprised for a moment, and then raised an eyebrow. "Can you be more specific?"

"She's avoiding me," Fred stated.

George smirked. "Isn't it obvious? She wanted you to shag her senseless the night you came back."

Fred rolled his eyes. He really doubted that was the case, and immediately regretted asking his brother anything. Before he could reply, he was interrupted by a figure flying into their room. "What the hell?!"

"You forget walls mean nothing," Karin stated cheerfully as she got off her oar and stood in the center of the room. Her oar vanished.

George's eyes widened as he re-zipped his trousers, which he'd been preparing to take off to put on his pajama bottoms. "Oi! We're changing clothes in here!"

Karin glanced to him. "And?"

George gaped at her. "What do you mean, 'and'? You can't just go into a bloke's room when he's changing!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "I don't see what the big deal is. I've seen you naked, and you don't have anything to be ashamed of."

George turned bright red. "W-what?"

Fred raised an eyebrow at Karin. "Have you been spying on my brother in the shower?"

"Not intentionally, but that's beside the point." Karin reached into the fold of the purple robe-thing (her 'kimono', as Mike had called it) and pulled out something that looked like a lens connected to a small chain. "Ta da! The first tool of the Underworld detective, the See-Through Lens!" She handed the lens to Fred, who looked at it curiously. "The tools of the Underworld require considerable spiritual power to use, so you'll be receiving them one at a time. This particular tool will allow you to look through walls and other obstacles. You'll be able to see things that are hidden."

"Huh," Fred said, looking through the lens. Glancing to the wall that faced the yard, he could see the wall had become transparent. He could see the yard quite clearly, as if the wall wasn't there. He looked around and he decided to see what else it could see through. He received an oar to the head after Karin took offense to his attempt to see through her clothes.

"Where do you think you're looking?!" she shouted. The oar disappeared once more.

George winced. "That just looks painful…"

Fred rubbed his head. "Oi! I died of a head injury, you know!"

Karin shrugged. "The Underworld made sure that your injury was fully healed before restoring you to life. Your head is better than new. Besides, you need to get used to it. Being an Underworld detective can be dangerous, I've heard."

Fred gave her a flat look. "Listen up, Karin… Never once did I agree to become this Underworld detective! I have a life, and I'd thank you not to interfere with it!"

"Oh? Are you so sure about that?" Karin asked. She shrugged exaggeratedly. "I suppose that I'll just have to go back and tell Lord Koenma that you refuse. Of course, he'll insist that you be taken back to the Underworld, as becoming a detective to the Underworld _was _a condition for you being brought back to life and all. Just because you never thought to ask what the catch you had blindly agreed to was…"

Fred narrowed his eyes at her. "So you're going to blackmail me?"

Karin laughed and waved him off. "'Blackmail' is such an ugly word."

George chuckled. "It can't be that bad, Fred. Just because she pulled a fast one on you…"

Fred glared at him. "Shut up."

Karin smiled at George. "Why, thank you. You know, if you would like to assist him on missions, that can be arranged. Strictly voluntary, of course, and you'd have the right to refuse any mission you wanted to."

George glanced to her and raised an eyebrow. "You want me to fight demons?"

Karin made a face. "I don't know if you'd be facing demons, but there are some demons with a sizeable bounty on their heads. If you were to assist in apprehending them, you would receive a share of the bounty. And of course, you would be trained in how to use your spirit energy effectively."

Fred frowned. "Oi! What do you think you're doing? Stop trying to recruit my brother!"

Karin turned to him. "Would you rather fight alone, or have back up?"

"Just get out of our room already," Fred growled.

Karin shrugged and summoned her oar in her hand. "Well, think it over." She got onto her oar and vanished.

George stared after her. "What a strange girl…"

Fred nodded. "You're telling me."

George smiled. "Still, it might not be so bad. Now how does that lens thing work?"


	9. 09 A Tale of Two Spirit Guns

**Chapter 9**: A Tale of Two Spirit Guns  
[_June 15, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred had come to the decision that if Hermione was going to avoid him, he was going to find out why. He supposed that he could always corner her and ask her himself, but he figured that if he was going to be a detective, he might want to learn how to interrogate people.

He started by cornering Ginny, who shared a room with Hermione. He had waited until after Hermione had gone to take a shower, and then had barged into his sister's room. He was well aware that Ginny was angry with him for questioning her virtue -- she had switched her anger from George onto him once she learned the truth -- so he wasn't sure how well she would listen. Still, it didn't hurt to try.

"Why is Hermione avoiding me?" he asked her after he had entered her room (and disarmed her).

Ginny scowled. "Because you smell like a baboon's butt," she replied. "Now let me go, get out of my room, and give me my wand back!"

Fred wagged a finger at her. He could understand why Ginny was upset. After all, he had tied her to a chair to keep her from attacking him. "I know that the two of you talk. She must have said something about me."

Ginny glared at him. "She said you're an idiot."

Fred sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere. He'd have to try a different tactic. "If you help me out, I think I can convince mum to un-ground you."

Ginny just continued to glare at him.

Fred smiled at her. "What do you say?"

"Go to hell," Ginny said sweetly, still glaring daggers at Fred.

Fred paced the room, thinking. He figured he had a lot to learn about interrogation. He wondered if Karin or someone would teach him more about the process.

The door opened. "I almost forgot my--" Hermione froze in the doorway, gaping at the scene inside. "What in the world are you doing?"

Fred glanced to her, and then resumed his pacing. "I'm interrogating her."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "He wants to know why you're avoiding him."

Hermione sighed and muttered an incantation that freed Ginny from her bonds. Ginny got off the chair and smacked Fred upside the head before snatching her wand back from him.

"Now get out of my room before you find yourself missing a few body parts," Ginny threatened, leveling her wand at Fred.

Fred muttered a few choice swear words as he stormed past Hermione out of Ginny's room. His sister was dangerous with a wand. He'd have to regroup and plan a new strategy later.

Hermione followed him into the hallway. "What do you think you're doing, Fred? If you have something to say to me, just say it."

Fred shrugged, glancing to her. "A bit hard when you've been avoiding me."

Hermione stared at him. "I haven't been avoiding you," she said.

"You're never around anymore," he replied.

She sighed heavily. "I am doing you guys a favor by helping you out in your shop. We have completely different shifts, so wouldn't see much of one another. On my time off, I like to spend it with my friends."

Fred paused. She had a point there. "Still, you used to hang out with us all the time."

She gave him a weird look. "No, I didn't. I would 'hang out' with George, but that was because he really needed someone there to talk to while waiting for you to wake up. You said it yourself. We were never that close, so don't start acting like we were."

"But you're not avoiding George," Fred protested.

"I'm not avoiding either one of you," Hermione said. "Now why are you acting so weird?"

Fred shrugged. "I'm not acting weird! I--" He glanced to Ginny's door, where his sister had opened the door and was watching them intently. He turned back to Hermione. "Er, can we continue this conversation elsewhere?"

Hermione sighed. "I was just about to take a shower."

Fred smiled. "Great! I'll join you! I could probably go for a shower, too."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. "You are _not _joining me in the shower," she said as she began to walk towards the bathroom.

"Why not?" Fred asked as he followed her. "It could be fun."

Hermione made an exasperated sound. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

Fred chuckled. "Yes, but you wouldn't have me any other way, would you?"

"What makes you think I'd have you at all?" Hermione retorted.

"I do recall you said something about ravaging my body while I was out," Fred said, smirking. "And that you're expecting my 'illicit love child', for that matter."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're still not joining me in the shower," she said as she opened the bathroom door.

"But we could have so much fun getting dirty as we get clean!" he said as she went into the bathroom. "You know you want me!"

His only answer was the bathroom door closing in his face. He chuckled and opted to head to his room to see if his twin was awake yet. Today was George's day off from work, and he had a feeling that his twin was probably still asleep. It was still rather early in the morning.

As he entered their room, he was surprised to find that not only was George awake, but he had company. The smile fell from Fred's face as he saw Karin sitting on his bed, waiting for him. "No," he said, not interested in whatever she had to say.

Karin glanced over at him. "I was just about to send George here to find you. He reasoned it's probably better if your family doesn't catch me wandering the house looking for you."

Fred glared at his brother, who shrugged.

"We were negotiating on what it would take for her to get me to leave this room to find you," George said. "So far she hasn't offered me any bribes of sufficient motivation yet."

Karin shot a glare at George. "I shouldn't have to bribe you to leave the room!" She turned to Fred. "I was sent here because Koenma has an assignment for you."

Fred sighed. "Wonderful," he said unenthusiastically.

--- --- ---

Fred was rather surprised (but somehow not too surprised) to learn that demons in the human world had to abide by their own statute of secrecy. Just as Muggles were not to know of the existence of wizards, humans were not meant to know of the existence of demons. Their next assignment was rather annoying, in Fred's opinion, as they were to detain a demon who was said to have little regard for that particular rule.

It was a training mission, Karin explained. Fred (and George) needed to learn how to fight, and dealing with a low-level demon like this one would be good experience. Magic didn't affect demons the same way it affected humans. That wasn't to say that magic didn't affect them at all, but the results could be unpredictable, or the effects diminished. When it came down to dealing with demons, it was best to use one's spirit energy.

Spirit energy -- or Reiki as was its proper name -- was the aura that surrounded a person. By controlling it, a person could use it in a variety of different ways. They might be able to use it to heal the sick or injured, or use it to increase their own strength and give them the ability to smash boulders. Karin also explained that it could be used for ranged attacks. She instructed Fred in the usage of the 'Spirit Gun', which was one such ranged attack. By concentrating all of the energy of his body to his index finger, he could then take aim and pull the trigger in his mind.

George frowned at that. "So it's kind of like how those guys use their ki in Dragonball?"

Fred looked to George, giving him an odd look. Mike had referred to it before, leading Fred to believe it was some Muggle thing. "What in the world is this 'Dragonball' thing, anyway, and how do _you _know what it is?"

George smiled. "It's a Japanese comic. Charlie's got the entire series, and let me read it. The translation spell was a pain, though." He turned to Karin. "Does that mean we'd be able to do something like the 'Kamehameha'?"

Karin's eyebrow twitched. "I suppose. If you wanted to be stupid."

George frowned and looked to the dresser across the room, where there was an empty bottle of Butterbeer on top of it. He extended his arm out in front of him, pointing at the bottle with his index finger. He stared at the bottle intensely, as if concentrating.

"I really doubt that you'd be able to do anything, George," Karin said, watching him with a skeptical look on her face.

The tip of George's finger seemed to glow slightly. Seconds later, a small blast of barely visible light shot out and hit the bottle, which shattered on impact.

Karin's jaw dropped as she looked at the shattered glass with wide eyes.

George turned to her. "Not quite the 'Kamehameha', but is that the general idea?"

Karin looked back at him and nodded speechlessly.

"Have you ever done that before?" Fred asked, turning to his twin in awe.

George scratched his head sheepishly. "No, but I haven't really tried before. I didn't know it was possible, until Karin here said it was."

Karin got off Fred's bed and walked over to sit next to George on his bed. "Do you have any idea just how impressive it is that you could use your Reiki like that on your very first try?"

George blinked. "Er, not really. Is that something else I shouldn't have been able to do?"

Karin paused. "I wouldn't quite say _that_, but it is rather surprising. I didn't think your abilities were advanced enough to use Reiki. I really _am _going to need to keep a close eye on you, I think."

George raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Does that mean you'll be spying on me when I'm showering?"

"Well, maybe not _that _close," Karin replied.

Fred glanced between them briefly and then smiled slyly. "I've got an idea. Why don't you make him your official Underworld detective and leave me out of it?"

Karin glared at him. "You're not getting out of it that easy. You owe Lord Koenma a debt. Besides, now that you know what's really out there, could you really stand by and do nothing?"

Fred paused. It was true that he knew there were demons and whatnot out there in the world, hidden from the rest of humanity. But still…

"You have the ability to see and fight things that the masses are unaware of," Karin continued. "Ordinary humans can't see demons for what they are, and they're not equipped to fight them, either. Even a low-level demon could easily slaughter hundreds or even thousands of humans. Not to say that they necessarily would, but they _could_. You have the ability to see and fight these things that nobody else can. Could you really rest easy if an innocent died, knowing that you could have done something to save them and yet did nothing?"

Fred narrowed his eyes at her. "That's just cheap."

George looked over to him. "Come on, Fred. It sounds like it'll be fun. We get all these nifty toys and cool powers. It's like we're superheroes or something."

Karin made a face. "Um, that's not quite--"

George suddenly turned to her. "Do we get costumes, or do we have to make our own?"

Fred sighed. "Fine. I'll do this detective nonsense. But I'm not wearing any stupid costume." He glared to George. "And neither are you. I don't want people mistaking us for one another and thinking I like to dress up like a lunatic." At George's raised eyebrow, he added, "Well, no more a lunatic than usual."

Karin nodded. "This isn't a game, you guys. Demons are really dangerous creature, and if you--"

George placed a hand over her mouth to silence her. "That's boring. But I'll agree to no costumes."

According to the Underworld's intelligence, the demon they were to detain had taken up residence in their village. Demons were often attracted to spiritual 'hot spots', which the village of Ottery St. Catchpole apparently was. Gen -- as the demon was known -- had a tendency to hang around parks and playgrounds to steal the dreams of children. Fred wasn't quite sure what that meant, but since it didn't cause any permanent injury didn't really care to ask. The experience was said to be quite traumatizing to the children, even though they would eventually recover. Normally the Underworld would not send one of its detectives out on such an assignment, but because it went against the rules about demons keeping low profiles in the human realm, it was chosen as a 'training' assignment. Fred was rather annoyed by that part, as he thought the whole 'preying upon children' was a bit more serious a transgression than breaking any rules of conformity.

Karin handed them a photograph of what Gen looked like as a 'human'. Ordinary humans couldn't see a demon in their true form (except in a few rather specific circumstances), so the picture might be helpful in case they needed to ask if anyone had seen Gen around. The twins themselves should be able to recognize someone that wasn't human. George should, in fact, be able to sense if there was something off about a person.

Fred had no idea that his twin's sixth sense was as strong as it was. Karin blamed Fred for that, telling him that by him 'haunting' his twin as often as he had while still a spirit, he had helped to make George's sixth sense stronger than it would have been otherwise. Fred contended that he hadn't been the only one to 'haunt' George.

"And at least I never spied on him in the shower," he added, earning himself an oar to the head in response.

Karin was not going to join them on their mission, although she would be keeping an eye on them. They shouldn't have any problems dealing with Gen. Well, not _too _many problems.

Fred was rather glad that he was his own boss and could set his own hours, as he had work later that afternoon. He had a feeling that he'd be missing a lot of work due to the business of being an Underworld detective. He was determined that scum like Gen could not be allowed to prey upon children, though, so would take him down as soon as possible.

Fred supposed his reluctance to work as the Underworld's detective stemmed more from the fact that he wasn't being given a _choice _about the matter. He knew that if he were given a choice, he would probably do it. All the same, he felt like he deserved to get some respect and have his feelings taken into consideration. Karin's cheap tactics at guilt tripping him into agreeing to work as an Underworld detective just seemed… cheap.

In any case, after being briefed on their assignment, Fred and George went to the village, but not before getting breakfast. Karin had gone off to wherever it was she went. Fred presumed she'd gone back to the Underworld or something. He really didn't care.

It was still early in the morning -- not yet nine o'clock -- when they arrived in the park. School had let out for the summer, so they figured going there would be a waste of time. If Gen was looking for children, the park would be the place to go. Or the lake, where children would often go swimming. Fred and George decided it was better not to split up just yet, even though they could cover more ground that way. Neither one of them knew just what to expect.

"Do you sense anything?" Fred asked as he and George hung out along the tree line, hidden from view from the main area of the park, but able to see the rest of the park. In particular, they were able to watch the playground.

George shook his head. "Not really." He paused. "So what's the deal with Karin? She sure likes to hit you a lot."

Fred made a face. "She's just incredibly violent. I'm surprised she hasn't hit you with her oar yet. Except for that one time. But you didn't even feel it, so it doesn't count."

George chuckled. "I'm not complaining. Getting hit with an oar looks outright painful." He suddenly frowned. "There he is," he said, gesturing towards the entrance of the park. Entering the park was a man who looked like someone just out taking their dog for a walk. Having seen his picture, though, both of the twins knew better.

Fred glanced to George. "You got a plan?"

George shook his head. "She never did tell us what exactly we were supposed to do, except 'apprehend him'."

Fred shrugged. "I guess we're going out for a walk." He casually stepped out of the trees and onto the path. He knew that walking directly over to Gen was asking for trouble, but they could approach him if they just appeared to be out taking a casual morning stroll. It wasn't too unusual for people to do just that. They just needed to keep an eye on him as they did so.

Fred had no problem with dogs, but he'd wished that Karin had informed them that Gen might have an animal with him. Fred couldn't see anything unusual about the dog, although he could see that Gen had pointed ears and yellow skin with green zebra-like stripes. Someone like him would normally stick out, but Fred remembered what Karin said about ordinary humans being unable to see demons in their true form. He just hoped that they wouldn't have any problems with the dog, which appeared to be just an average cute little black and white puppy. Fred figured it was there to help Gen lure children out so he could eat their dreams.

He glanced to George, who walked beside him. "Do you sense anything strange about the dog?" he asked.

George shook his head. "Nothing. He's probably just using it as a prop."

"I thought so, too," Fred agreed as they continued along the path.

If Gen had noticed them, he made no indication that he knew anything was 'off' about their presence. To the demon, they were probably just two guys, out for a morning stroll. Fred was glad that they had dressed casually enough so that nobody would think twice about them.

They would be approaching him soon, and Fred had no idea how they were supposed to apprehend him. He couldn't discuss it with George now, as Gen was likely to hear them. Fred supposed they'd have to improvise.

"What a cute little dog," George said as they were about to cross paths. Gen stopped walking, and George knelt down and reached a hand out. The puppy barked and licked George's hand, wagging its tail. George looked up at Gen. "What's her name?"

Gen shifted his weight from one foot to the other, glancing around the park shiftily. "She, uh… I just got her yesterday, and haven't really come up with a good name yet."

Fred was glad to hear that. If Gen just got the puppy, the meant it didn't have the time to establish any real loyalty to him, nor did he have the time to train it to attack or anything like that. As they suspected, the puppy was just a lure, probably to get children to approach so they could pet it.

George straightened up after petting the puppy on the head. "I'll bet that lots of kids want to play with her, don't they?"

Gen shifted from one foot to the other nervously. "What make you say that?"

George shrugged. "Just saying. Although you might want to be careful. There's been reports of someone lurking around that preys upon children. You wouldn't want anyone to think it was you, now would you, Gen?"

A bead of sweat fell down Gen's forehead. He dropped the puppy's leash, and turned to run away.

Fred and George gave chase. Gen wasn't that fast a runner in comparison to them, so the chase wouldn't take long. George, who had been closer, was already within grabbing reach of the man. He tackled Gen to the ground.

"Mission accomplished?" Fred asked as he stood by George's side. His twin was getting off the ground, where Gen was still laying.

George shrugged. "I don't-- Ahhhh!" He sank down to the ground, clutching his upper thigh of one leg where Gen had stabbed him with a knife.

Fred narrowed his eyes at Gen, who had gotten up and was trying to run again. Remembering what Karin had taught him -- and what he had seen from George -- he pointed a finger at Gen, letting his energy flow to his fingertip. Taking aim, he fired.

Gen toppled forward to the ground, hit by the small blast of Reiki. Fred hoped that he wouldn't get up, as he was more concerned about his brother, who was swearing profusely. Fred went over to George, kneeling down next to him. "We need to get you home and get you patched up," Fred said.

George nodded, grimacing in pain. "Son of a bitch…" he hissed.

"It'll take more than a patch up job," Karin said as she approached them. She wasn't wearing the kimono that she normally did, but had changed into a pair of denim shorts and a black tank top to fit in with her surroundings. "I can heal him, but we should go elsewhere for this. In the meantime…" She held out her hand, and a pair of handcuffs appeared in them. She turned to Gen, who was sprawled out on the ground still.

Fred watched her as she placed the handcuffs on Gen. After that, Karin pulled a small rectangular device out of her pocket. "Coordinates L-37, G-52, S-106. Requesting transport for suspect," she said into the device after pressing a button.

"Ten four," a voice said from the other end.

The handcuffs on Gen began to glow, and a cage of light appeared around him. Fred only saw it for a few seconds before it disappeared with Gen still laid out inside.

Karin turned to the twins. "Let's get George healed up now," she said.

--- --- ---

Fred had been completely unaware that Karin could do something similar to Apparition until she had Fred and George grab a hold of her oar and took them to the front steps of the Burrow. Fred didn't think they'd flown, unless it was so quick that he hadn't even had time to blink before they were at the front door.

"Inside," Karin ordered as Fred reached over to open the door.

Fred and Karin stood on either side of George, supporting him as he stood on one leg. Fred couldn't see his injury through the fabric of his jeans, but had a feeling that it wasn't a normal injury.

They helped George inside, much to the surprise of their mother, who was cleaning the sitting room as they entered.

"George!" she shrieked, rushing over to him. "What in the world happened?"

"We got in a fight," Fred said. "Some guy stabbed him."

"Let's take him up to your room," Karin said. "I can heal him using my Reiki."

Fred nodded. Amidst George's protests, Fred cast a spell to help levitate him up the stairs. He was well aware that his mother was following them, demanding an explanation for why George was injured. Fred promised to explain everything, but first they had to get George upstairs so he could be healed.

Fred hadn't told his mother anything about becoming a detective for the Underworld. The only one who knew of that detail was George. He had explained to everyone else that he had died, but had been given a second chance at life by the Underworld. He hadn't gone into too many details, but answered their questions whenever they came up. Nobody had asked for specifics, relieved that they were he was given a second chance.

He hadn't wanted to tell anyone who wasn't directly affected (i.e. George) about his continued involvement with the Underworld. He knew that would only cause everyone to worry unnecessarily. He supposed that he'd have little choice but to explain to his mother just what was going on. He had a feeling that George's injury would not be the last that either he or his twin came home with.

Fred told his mother he'd be down in a minute to explain. He was aware that she was waiting at the foot of the stairs as he and Karin brought George into his room.

As they helped George to lie down on his bed, Karin turned to Fred. "Do you think you could get me some water? Healing goes a lot faster when holy water is used in conjunction with Reiki."

Fred nodded. "I can get you water, but not holy water." He conjured a pitcher, which he then filled with water using a spell.

Karin smiled and took the pitcher from him. "I can purify it." She glanced to George, whose face was scrunched up in pain. "Take off your pants."

George looked over at her, eyes wide. "What? This is hardly the time to--"

"I need to see the injury," Karin said with an annoyed expression on her face. "Unless you want to walk with a limp for the rest of your life, take off your pants."

"But I'm not wearing any underwear!" George protested.

Fred laughed. "I suppose I'll be explaining things to mum now," he said as he walked towards the door. As funny as it might be to watch George argue with Karin about whether his pants would be removed or not, he knew that his mother was expecting an explanation. The sooner he got it over with the better.

The last thing he heard as he left the room was George telling Karin that he would agree to take off his pants if she took off her shirt. Fred chuckled, wondering if his twin would soon have a head injury to match.

His mother was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs. Fred took in a deep breath as he approached her. "I suppose I should explain a few things."

His mother nodded. "What happened to George? And who was that girl?"

Fred held up a finger. "Well, you remember what I told you about the Underworld agreeing to bring me back to life if I passed their trials? Well, in exchange, I work as a detective of sorts for them…"

--- --- ---

Fred had not relished telling his mother everything. He had been interrupted often by his mother's outraged indignation or worry. She did not want him or George to be out there fighting if they didn't have to. She'd lost him once, and didn't want to lose him again. He tried to explain to her that he didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

Some time later, George and Karin came downstairs, which led to them being grilled with questions about their involvement with the Underworld. Karin promised that she would do her best to make sure both of them stayed as safe as possible. Despite being a spirit of death, she knew a lot about healing techniques.

Luckily, Fred had the excuse of going to work to get him out of the conversation. True, he didn't have to be there for a few more hours, but he didn't really want to stick around and be grilled by his mother. Neither did George, who said he should be checking up on the shop as well.

And so the twins walked down Diagon Alley towards their joke shop. Karin had made some excuse to leave, although it would have been impossible to stop her from doing so when she could simply revert to her spirit form (which none of them could see) and take off on her oar. George's leg was as good as new, much to his relief. A wide variety of vendors still lined the street. Fred glanced briefly to the vendor who offered body piercing.

"Mum really wasn't too happy with Ron's eyebrow piercing, was she?" Fred mused aloud with a smirk. Their mother had gone ballistic when Ron had come home sporting an eyebrow piercing. Ron said that it made him look 'cool', but Fred disagreed. Of everyone in his family, the only ones who could really pull off an eyebrow piercing were Bill and _maybe _Charlie.

George chuckled. "It's his own fault for acting like an idiot. He should have waited until he moved out to get a piercing."

Fred paused in thought. "I'm thinking of moving back into the flat over the shop. With all this Underworld detective stuff, it might be a good idea to live away from everyone."

George nodded. "Just in case something decides to follow us home."

Fred felt bad about it, because he didn't want to distance himself from his family. At the same time, though, he didn't think it was a good idea to let too many people know about him being the detective for the Underworld. As it was, he knew his mother was not pleased in the least about his being the Underworld detective, especially since George got hurt because of it. But it wasn't really him distancing himself, but rather protecting everyone. Besides, Bill and Fleur had already moved back ton Shell Cottage, and Harry was thinking of moving back to Grimmauld Place, where he took care of his godson Teddy over the weekends. Life was moving on.

They entered their shop during the mid-morning lull. Fred had wondered more than once what it was that made all the customers gather in the shop at one time, and then have no customers at all for a while until they all came back in at once. From speaking to other shop owners around, he had learned that it happened in the other shops as well.

"Hey, Granger," George greeted as he took a seat on top of the counter, playing with the See-Through Lens that Fred had been given by Karin previously. After being bugged by George about it, he had allowed his twin to borrow the item.

Hermione raised an eyebrow as she glanced over at him. She was sitting on a stool by the counter, reading a book. "Weren't you the one telling Ron not to sit on the counter the other day?"

George smirked. "What's your point?"

Hermione shook her head and went back to her book.

"Anything interesting happen?" Fred asked as he leaned against the counter.

"Two idiots came in, but that's hardly interesting," Hermione said, not looking up from her book.

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so we're not interesting enough for you?"

Hermione smirked as she continued to read her book. "You're rather quick to assume that I was referring to you." After a beat, she added, "Idiot."

"It'd be nice if some hot girl were to enter the shop about now," George said, looking around through the customer-less shop with the lens.

Hermione glanced over at him from the stool she was sitting on. "Nice, George. Thanks," she said dryly, returning to the book she was reading.

George looked over to her. "Huh. I never thought you were the thong type."

Hermione gave him a confused look. "What…?"

Fred grabbed the lens from George and smacked him in the back of the head. He put the lens in his pocket, and turned to Hermione, giving her a weird look. "Are you really wearing a thong?"

Hermione glared at him. "No, I am _not _wearing a thong!" She shot a dirty look at George, who was laughing. "I don't know what gave you that impression."

Fred glared at George, who smirked. "That lens Fred has lets him see through surfaces and stuff," George explained.

Hermione's eyes widened. "Were you trying to look through my clothes?!" she screeched at George.

George shrugged. "Your underwear's rather boring. You could at least wear a color other than plain white. Or a more interesting style, at least."

Fred did not blame Hermione one bit for getting up to smack George over the head. Before she went back to her stool, though, she paused to smack Fred over the head as well.

Fred frowned as he rubbed his head. "What part of 'I died of a head injury' does nobody understand?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sat back down. "You'll live."

George chuckled. "You do seem to have a lot of violent women in your life, Fred."

Fred shot him a dirty look, and then smirked. "So I take it that you were introduced to Karin's oar?"

George shook his head. "She was too intent on getting me to take my pants off."

Hermione gave him a weird look. "Why would anyone want to see you with your pants off?" she asked.

"Because I happen to be rather well endowed," George replied with a smirk. "Would you like to see?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No."

Fred chuckled. "Now, George, you know you shouldn't make things up." He turned to Hermione. "I happen to be the better endowed twin."

George turned to Fred. "No, you're not!"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Want me to prove it?"

Hermione shook her head and set her book down. "Do I need to break out the measuring tape?" The bell over the door chimed, and she stood up. "Thank Merlin," she muttered as she went over to greet the customer.

Fred chuckled as George took his seat on the counter once more. "So did Karin take her shirt off for you?" Fred asked.

George smirked. "Like I'd tell you." He paused. "So you really want to move back here?"

Fred nodded. "Like you said. Just in case something follows us home. And let me add 'or finds out where we live'."

George made a thoughtful face. "The sooner the better. But you get to tell mum we're moving back here."

Fred's eyes widened. "You tell her! Mum'll kill me!"

George raised an eyebrow. "Do you _really _want me to tell her?"

The way George said it made Fred realize that he really didn't. Their mother would inevitably ask why they were moving back into the flat above the shop, and George would likely make things up that would only serve to infuriate her against Fred.

"George, get your butt off the counter," Hermione said as she walked back to the counter, customer in tow.

George smirked at her. "I'm waxing the counter," he said, wiggling around slightly.

Hermione looked at him flatly. "Do you remember the time I offered to shave your head if you didn't behave?"

George hopped off the counter. "Yes, ma'am," he said, saluting her.

Fred chuckled and watched Hermione as she rang up the customer's purchase. After the customer left, he asked her, "What are you doing Friday?"

Hermione blinked and glanced to him. "Not much of anything. Why?"

Fred smiled. "Well, I know you have the day off. Ron's got work, and Harry's got Auror training. Since you're not avoiding me, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to spend the day with me."

Hermione stared at him shrewdly. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

Fred paused. Was he? He did have to admit that the thought didn't sound as strange to him as it might have once upon a time.

"Aw, does ickle Freddy _fancy _Hermione?" George smiled widely. "Does he want to kiss her and have smart little red-headed babies with her?"

Fred growled, glaring at George. "I'm thinking I might want to commit fratricide right about now."

Hermione chuckled. "Fine, Fred. I'll spend the day with you. I don't have anything better to do."

Fred pretended he didn't hear the second part of what she said as he smiled and cast a silencing charm on his twin. Once he started making rather crude pantomimes, Hermione cast a Full Body Bind on George. Fred couldn't help but feel a bit proud of her for that.

Now he just had to come up with something to do on their date.


	10. 10 The First

**Chapter 10**: The First  
[_June 19-20, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred decided that the best way to make a peace offering with his sister was to present her with the cute little puppy that Karin had brought him and George. After she had left the Burrow after healing George, Karin had gone back to pick up the little dog that had been abandoned after they had captured Gen. She figured that they would be responsible for the puppy. And so Ginny got a little black and white puppy that Charlie tried to name 'Inu Yasha'. Ginny named the puppy 'Effin' after it relieved itself on the carpet in her room. (Its full name was 'Effin' Dog, Don't You Even Think About-- Effin' Dog!')

Their mother wasn't too pleased that Fred and George were moving out to go back to their flat above the joke shop. They promised that they would visit frequently, and Fred tried to explain to her that he didn't want to place anyone in danger. He didn't think it would come to that, but it was better to be safe. Aside from that, Karin might pop in at any time to send him on assignment.

Fred made it exceptionally clear to Karin that he was not to be disturbed at all on Friday. If she had an assignment, she would bother George about it. He did not want anything to disrupt his date with Hermione. Even though it wasn't so much a date as it was two friends hanging out. Except she had called it a date, and he wanted it to be a date, so it was possible that it might be a date.

Fred was glad that there wasn't much packing to do to move back into their flat. He was exceptionally grateful that it was a two bedroom flat, so he wouldn't have to share a room with George and endure his twin going on about the possible-date. He was getting especially tired of his twin randomly naming future children that didn't exist.

They were officially moved back into their flat on Wednesday night. Well, all their stuff was at least. They didn't have any food in the cupboards or the refrigerator, since neither of them had bothered to go out to buy food. George lost the coin toss, so Fred resolved himself to survive off the candy, ice cream, and crisps that George was certain to purchase. Fred hoped that if George bought some of his sugary cereal that he would at least remember to buy some milk to go with it.

By the time Friday came, Fred had decided that he would take Hermione to the amusement park he'd gone to when he and Mike had shown the fixated ghost Nancy how to have a good time. He doubted that Hermione would appreciate riding on the back of someone's truck, though, even if it did sound like a lot of fun.

As he met her at the Burrow on Friday morning, Fred wished that he had dressed a little nicer than his jeans and t-shirt, as it appeared as though Hermione had dressed up just a bit. Nothing fancy, but she wore a nice skirt that went down to her knees, and a pretty shirt that hugged her curves in all the right places. It even looked like she was wearing just the tiniest hint of makeup, which was something she never did.

"So where are we going?" Hermione asked as she walked with him down the path to the Apparition point.

"You'll see," Fred replied as they approached the end of the anti-Apparition wards.

Once they had arrived there, he turned to her. "You'll want to hold on to me. I'm going to take us there through Side-Along."

Hermione gave him a skeptical look, but took his offered arm. "Just so long as we're not going somewhere strange."

He raised an eyebrow. "And where would be 'strange', 'Mione?"

Hermione blushed slightly at the use of the nickname. "Knowing you, I don't think I want to know."

He knew he didn't have to, but he placed his free hand over hers as he Apparated them to a secluded enough spot just outside of the amusement park. Hermione's eyes widened as she realized where they were.

"I haven't been to an amusement park since I was ten," she said in a hushed tone. "I was too short to ride on a lot of the rides I wanted to."

Fred smirked. "Well, you're not too short now."

He got them day passes to the park, which allowed them to go on any ride they wanted, as well as enter or leave the park all they wanted for the rest of the day. Since Fred planned to take her out for lunch somewhere, being able to leave and return worked out nicely.

The lines to the rides weren't as bad as Fred had feared. There were a lot of people at the park, yes, but not so many that there was an excessively long wait to any of the rides.

Fred was glad that he hadn't eaten right before getting onto El Loco Diablo, the rollercoaster there. It had many loops and steep drops, and Fred was sure that he might have lost the contents of his stomach the first time they rode it if there'd been anything to lose. The second time they rode it wasn't quite so bad, and by the fourth time they rode it he had to admit that he could see why it was Hermione's favorite ride.

Hermione insisted on riding all of the rides in the park. They spent the entire morning going from ride to ride. Fred had to admit that none of them seemed as thrilling as El Loco Diablo, but that was only to be expected.

Around noon, they took a break from the rides to eat lunch at a pizzeria in the nearby town. He let Hermione pick out what kind of toppings their pizza would have, as he wasn't picky and didn't want to order something she didn't like.

He was glad that she agreed with his stance that pineapple had no place on pizza. There wasn't anything wrong with pineapple, but Fred was of the opinion that fruit had no place on pizza, and said as such.

Hermione chuckled at that. "You do know that tomatoes are technically a fruit, right?"

Fred paused, making a thoughtful face. "You're not going to tell me that pepperoni is some kind of fruit next, are you?"

She laughed. "I'm pretty sure that's a kind of meat."

Fred smiled. "You never know. There might be some tree out there that grows pepperoni slices. I wonder when the best time to pick pepperoni would be."

Hermione shook her head, smiling. "Probably when it's ripe."

Fred nodded sagely. "I'd say it's a fall fruit, like apples or corn."

"Corn is a vegetable. Well, a grain, actually," Hermione pointed out.

"Just like ham, then," Fred replied.

He thought it was rather fun to talk about random nonsense with her, and was quite pleased that he could make her laugh so easily. He was glad that she wasn't a very picky eater, either, although she admitted that she had a tendency to order the same foods whenever she ate out. It wasn't that she was afraid to try new things, but she preferred to stay within her comfort zone. He couldn't blame her for that, although he did make her promise that whenever he took her out to eat in the future that she would order something she'd never tried before.

After lunch, they went back to the park to continue their quest to go on all the rides. As fun as riding on El Loco Diablo was, he told her point blank that it wouldn't be a good idea to ride it so soon after eating. Hermione agreed, so they abstained from the roller coaster for the time being, focusing on other rides instead.

By the time it became early evening, they still had a few rides they'd yet to ride. Hermione said they should probably head back after one last ride, which she insisted be the Ferris wheel. Compared to the majority of the other rides, it was rather tame. Still, Hermione insisted that no trip to the amusement park was complete without riding it.

"Have you ever been here before?" Hermione asked as their seat slowly rose in the air.

"Once," Fred said. "When I was a spirit. I found this place after randomly riding down the highway on the back of some guy's truck."

"Sounds like you had fun as a spirit," Hermione said.

Fred paused. "It was a learning experience," he replied, "but I wouldn't say it was fun. I'd much rather be alive and able to talk to those I care about."

"I'd rather you be alive, too," Hermione said, looking at the scenery below them. "I suppose you were right about what you said before."

He raised an eyebrow. "About me being the better endowed twin?"

Hermione flushed red and turned to him. "Not that! I've never seen either of you…" She shook her head. "About avoiding you. I was afraid things would be awkward. I mean, I kissed you. Twice."

Fred paused. "The second time you kissed me was to bring me back to life. I was unconscious, so I wouldn't count that as a real kiss. The first time you kissed me, though…" He moved closer to her. "Why did you?"

"I got caught up in the moment," Hermione answered quickly. "I forgot who you were for a moment."

Fred leaned towards her. "Who did you think I was?" He hoped that she didn't fancy George, because he wanted it to be himself that she kissed.

Hermione blushed. "I… Does it matter?"

"It might," he replied. He leaned closer to her. She hadn't pulled away from him yet. Part of him dared to hope that she wanted to kiss him, too. After all, if she didn't want to kiss him, she never would have done so while he was possessing George. "Because if things are going to be awkward between us, I want it to be because we actually kissed. I'd feel cheated otherwise."

Before she could say anything in response, Fred placed his lips on hers, drawing her into a kiss. He could feel her tense up in surprise, but that only lasted a moment as she was soon kissing him back, pulling him closer to her and deepening the kiss. He dared to be bold enough to dart his tongue out to meet hers. He could still taste the residual spiciness of the pizza they'd had for lunch on her breath, mixed with something sweet that he couldn't quite place.

Their kiss ended far too soon for Fred's liking. He held her in his arms, smiling. "Do you want things to get awkward now?" he asked in a teasing tone. He chuckled as she swatted at him.

"Why do you always have to tease me?" Hermione asked, pulling away from him. "You're my best friend's older brother, Fred. You're annoying and arrogant and--"

"Charming, handsome, and a good kisser," Fred interrupted, smiling. "And who cares if I'm your 'best friend's older brother'? I think we've already established that we're a bit more than that." At Hermione's skeptical look, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "If you want to be just friends, just tell me. I'd like to give things a try, though, and see where they progress."

"Why?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I like kissing you. I don't know about you, but I felt something."

"You did?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.

He smirked cheekily. "To put it this way, I'm at half-mast right now." He chuckled as she smacked him across the chest. "I can't explain it, but I felt like there was a connection. I want to get to know you better, and to kiss you again."

Hermione paused in thought. "I think… I'd like to do this again sometime." She smiled.

Their car of the Ferris wheel had reached the bottom, and the operator opened the door to let them out. Fred smiled as Hermione placed her hand in his. He couldn't quite explain it, but being with her just felt right for whatever reason. He had no idea why in the world someone as brilliant and striking as she was would give him a chance, but he wasn't about to question it.

The grumbling of his stomach made Fred realize that it had been quite a while since he'd last had anything to eat. "Do you want to head out for something to eat?" Fred asked as they walked towards the exit of the amusement park.

She glanced over at him. "But you've already spent so much on me today," she objected.

"We went to an amusement park, not out on a cruise," Fred said. "You're just going to have to get used to me spending money on you. Now where do you want to eat, or shall I try to impress you with my spectacular cooking abilities?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You can cook?"

"It might not be five-star cuisine, but I consider it spectacular that I can make something edible and possibly even mildly tasty without blowing up or setting fire to the kitchen," Fred said. "You know what my mum's like. Do you really think she'd let any of us leave home not knowing how to cook?"

Hermione laughed. "I'm sorry, but I just have a difficult time imagining that you know how to cook."

Fred didn't know whether to be insulted or not. True, he didn't exactly give off the impression of someone who knew the least bit about domestic work, particularly since she'd seen the mess of a room he shared with George. All the same, she knew that he and George had come up with many products, some of which involved actual cooking. "Yeah, I suppose that our fake sweets like Canary Creams and Ton-Tongue Toffees cooked themselves," he said airily.

To her credit, Hermione looked slightly embarrassed. "I didn't realize… I'm sorry. I suppose it would take more than simple potion brewing or spell casting. I'd be honored if you tried to impress me." She paused. "Wait, if all of you know how to cook, then shouldn't that mean Ron knows how as well? Why would he have me do all the cooking when the three of us were on the run?"

"Because he's a prat," Fred replied. "And I don't think it quite took with him. I know it didn't take with George, who still can't make toast without burning it. I think the ability to cook skips through us siblings. Bill can cook, Charlie can't. Percy can, George can't. I'm sure if there had been any more of us after Ginny, they wouldn't be able to, either."

"George is older than you?" Hermione asked.

He nodded. "By three minutes. He was the one who started the fine tradition of us pranking. We decided to be born so quickly that Mum couldn't even get to St. Mungo's in time to deliver us there, and I was told when he was first born that he didn't utter a single cry or move or anything until I was born. Not the best thought out prank, worrying everyone into thinking there was something wrong with him, but he'd just been born so I suppose his lack of planning can be excused."

"George was stillborn?" Hermione asked, looking over at Fred.

He shook his head. "They thought he was until he decided to let them know he wasn't." As they left the amusement park, he asked, "So what do you want me to make for you?"

"Anything's fine," she replied. "I don't want to be a bother."

He stopped and smiled at her. "You could never be a bother, 'Mione. Besides, you're going to have to get used to me doing things for you. Like taking you places, and maybe the occasional serenade--"

"You're not going to serenade me," Hermione interrupted, laughing.

Fred smiled. "Sure I am. I know where you live, and I know what room is yours."

She shook her head. "No, you're not. I've heard that your singing sounds like a dying whale."

Fred huffed in mock indignation. "Some people like that sound."

"Name one person," Hermione challenged.

Fred made a thoughtful face. "Bob?"

"Who in the world is Bob?" Hermione asked, giving him a strange look.

Fred shrugged. "I dunno. I just made him up because I can't think of anyone."

Hermione chuckled and shook her head as they approached a safe point to Apparate from. "Just because we're going to your place doesn't mean you can try anything."

Fred held a hand over his heart and gave her the most serious and innocent look he could muster. It wasn't an easy feat, as he was trying to keep himself from laughing as he did so. "I wouldn't dream of it. In fact, you can even tie me up so I can't try anything." He paused. "Actually, that sounds pretty kinky."

In truth, he did not intend to try anything with her. He had too much respect for her to do that. She wasn't like other girls, who often acted so vapid and shallow it was astounding. Hermione, though, was one of the most brilliant people he'd ever met, which he found to be rather attractive. While she could be self-conscious at times about her looks, she wasn't the type to obsess over her appearance. He liked the fact that she didn't feel the need to wear excessive amounts of cosmetics or skimpy clothes in order to gain attention. She was the down-to-earth 'what you see is what you get' type. Yes, there were many facets to her he was sure he didn't know about, but the fact that she was _real _and not some made-up phony was one of the many reasons he admired her.

"Maybe I should break out my whip in case you do try to misbehave," Hermione quipped.

Fred smirked. "Sounds exciting. Please do."

Hermione rolled her eyes, and they Disapparated.

--- --- ---

They decided to enter his flat by going up the stairs that led up from the shop, since there were anti-Apparition wards on the flat itself. Before they went up, Fred made sure to give Ron a warning about what would happen if he slacked off while on the job.

Opening the door to the flat, it came as no surprise to find George in his pajamas, sitting on the couch in the living room and eating a bowl of cereal while watching some cartoon on the television. Well, maybe that last part was a bit surprising.

"When did we get a television?" Fred asked as he closed the door behind them.

"While you were out getting to know my future sister-in-law," George said, not looking away from the screen.

"Future sister-in-law?" Hermione repeated.

"Uh-huh," George said, shoveling a spoonful of colorful cereal into his mouth. "It's always been well known that you were going to marry one of us Weasley boys someday. Which one of us is the question. There's actually a betting pool on it." Never once did he tear his eyes away from the screen.

Hermione made an exasperated sound. "Honestly." She glanced to the television to see what George was watching. Her eyes widened. "What on earth are you watching?!"

"Animated porn," George replied. "I forget what the title is, but there's a bunch of tentacle demons in it."

"I can see that," Fred commented dryly. His eyes widened at the action on the screen. "That's disgusting!"

"Is that even anatomically possible?" Hermione asked in revolted curiosity.

George shrugged. "No idea." He glanced toward the kitchen. "Oi! Karin! Question!"

Fred glanced to his brother in curiosity. What was Karin doing there? He turned to the kitchen as the ferry girl appeared in the doorway, bringing out a bowl of popcorn. Fred's jaw dropped as he saw she was wearing a bathrobe over a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Is that anatomically possible?" George asked, pointing to the screen.

Karin glanced at the screen as she walked over to him and set the bowl down on the coffee table in front of George. "Yes, but only if the demon in question is a ktendarl demon. Nasty buggers, they're not allowed into the human realm, and there are orders to exterminate them on sight. They're anatomically incompatible with humans."

Fred gaped at Karin. "What are you doing here?"

"Watching hentai with your brother," she replied, sitting down on the couch next to George. "I was sent here to give you your next assignment, but you said not to bother you until tomorrow, so I decided it was best to watch educational videos until then."

Hermione blinked. "Watching animated porn is educational?" she asked in disbelief. "And what do you mean 'assignment'?"

"Lord Koenma wants him to recover some items that were stolen by a trio of demons. I told him that they're too powerful for Fred to deal with yet, but they need to be dealt with by next Friday," Karin said.

Fred frowned. "Why next Friday?"

Karin glanced over at him. "Because that's when King Enma will return from his trip."

"Who are you, anyway?" Hermione asked.

Karin smiled. "I'm Karin. I'm Fred's assistant Underworld detective. It's nice to meet you in person at last, Hermione."

Hermione blinked in confusion. "How do you know me?"

Karin just smiled mysteriously and turned back to watch the screen.

Fred frowned. He had not told Hermione anything about being an Underworld detective. But he had a few questions he wanted to ask his 'assistant'. "Why do you look like you're spending the night?"

"Because she is," George replied.

Fred paused, watching his brother shrewdly. "And where is she sleeping?"

"My room," George said, still watching the screen.

Fred frowned. "Are the two of you shagging?" he asked bluntly. He didn't know why, but the idea of his twin sleeping with someone who was essentially his _boss _was rather disturbing.

"Don't be crude!" Karin snapped. "That is absolutely none of your business!"

Fred glared at her. "I think I have a right to know if my brother is sleeping with my _boss_!" he exclaimed.

Karin glared back at him. "I'm not your boss. And--"

"So what if we are?" George asked, not looking away from the screen. Karin quickly turned to George, looking positively infuriated.

Fred gaped at them in disbelief as Hermione began to tug on his arm, trying to pull him in the direction of the kitchen. He let her lead him into the kitchen, not wanting to deal with the two of them right now.

Fred crossed the room and rummaged through the cupboard, ignoring the muffled sound of arguing in the other room. "I can't believe them," he muttered.

Hermione sighed as she walked over to him. "They're consenting adults. Er, she _is_ an adult, right?"

"She's my boss!" Fred countered.

"Would you mind explaining that bit?" Hermione asked, her tone evident that she was not about to let the matter slide.

Fred glanced over to her, and then sighed. He supposed he had little choice. "In exchange for returning me to life, I work as the Underworld's detective. Karin back there brings me assignments, and George works with me. I guess he's just along for the ride or something. We fight demons."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Hermione asked.

Fred nodded. "Yeah, but it's not like I have much choice. It's a condition for me coming back to life. That and I can't just sit back and do nothing when I know there's demons out there and I have the power to stop them." He took a box of pasta off the shelf in the cupboard and sighed. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen."

Hermione shook her head. "That's all right. I'm glad that George has found someone." She paused. "Even if she is your boss," she added with a smirk.

Fred made a face. "She's not even human. She's a spirit. That's more than a little weird."

"Fred…" Hermione called out, gaining his attention.

He looked at her, and was surprised as she threw her arms around him and kissed him. He decided it was better not to worry about what other people were doing, and let his mind concentrate on returning the kiss of the beautiful witch in his arms.

--- --- ---

Fred woke up the next morning with the distinct feeling that he was not alone in his bed. More than that, he knew he wasn't wearing any clothes.

He cracked open his eyes slightly to see Hermione's sleeping form. She was using his chest as a pillow. Not that he minded, as he hoped to wake up like that in the future. But he knew that awkwardness could set in really quickly once she woke up.

Neither one of them had been drinking, so they couldn't use drunkenness as an excuse. There wasn't any excuse, really. After dinner, they had retreated to his room to avoid any interruptions as they discussed the details of everything that happened after he died, as well as just what being a detective for the Underworld meant. He didn't want to, as he knew that would only cause her to worry, but at the same time realized that not saying anything might make her worry more.

She had been planning to leave for the night, so he had kissed her goodbye. And then somehow their kiss moved over to his bed. And then things heated up from there as she straddled him, their hands roaming each other's bodies. He had to admit that her domineering nature was a bit of a turn on. He hadn't meant things to go as far as they did, but he supposed his mind had shut down sometime before she fumbled with undoing his belt, insisting that she knew she wanted to.

He had been her first, which made him feel both honored and apprehensive at the same time. He didn't want what they had to be a one night stand or anything like that. He didn't regret what they'd done, but he had regretted it had happened as fast as it had. He felt he had a connection with her. Hermione was someone special, and he didn't want to have wasted his chance with her because things went too far, too fast.

He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep when he felt her stir as she woke up. He had no idea of how to deal with the aftermath of their night together. He knew things would be awkward once she realized he was awake. He just hoped to delay that for as long as possible.

For a few moments, he thought she might have fallen back asleep, as she stopped stirring. But that illusion was quickly shattered when she said, "I know you're awake, Fred."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "How could you tell?"

"Because you opened your eyes and answered me so quickly," she replied.

"I don't want things to be awkward," he said quickly. "I don't want this to be a one time thing, because… I just don't. Not that I mean for this to happen again right away--"

"Fred," Hermione interrupted, placing a hand over his mouth. "It happened. Whether we meant it to or not, it did." She removed her hand from over his mouth, and shifted so that she was in a sitting position. "I'm supposed to help open the shop this morning. Now where did my bra go?" She got out of the bed in search of her clothes.

Fred sat up. "It's on the lamp," he said. "And I mean it. I want to try to work things out with you. I know you're not the kind of girl who does this sort of thing, and I don't think I'm really the kind of guy that does, either. I might make jokes and innuendo--"

"Fred," Hermione interrupted again, her voice a little sharper than before. "I need to think things over. Give me time."

He hung his head as Hermione got dressed. Just when things had been going so well, he had wrecked things spectacularly. True, it wasn't all him, but he could have put up more of a resistance.

"I'll see you later, Fred," Hermione said as she walked to the door, dressed once more.

Fred nodded dully as she exited his room. He supposed he could have gone after her, trying to explain. But what could he say? And more importantly, how could he get her to believe him?

Slowly, he got dressed, not sure if he really wanted to face the world that day.

--- --- ---

"How'd you get the black eye?" Fred asked as he and George walked through the streets of Hogsmeade. After he had gotten dressed, Karin had accosted Fred at the breakfast table. She debriefed him on the assignment, which involved retrieving some 'important items' stolen by three demons who broke into the treasure vault of the Underworld. Fred really couldn't care less about the demons at this point.

George shook his head. "Karin wasn't happy that I implied I was sleeping with her. I tried to reason with her that we could remedy the situation and actually sleep together. Who knew she'd take it so badly?"

Fred rolled his eyes as he scanned the crowd. George had taken the day off work to provide backup. Karin had explained that at their present spiritual levels, they would probably only be able to get one shot off their Spirit Guns a day. It was highly likely they would have to fight the thieves.

During the debriefing, Fred realized where they needed to go. He had heard of two of the three demons before, and they had been plotting in the Three Broomsticks to rob some vault. He had thought they were planning to rob Gringotts, but in retrospect, he realized they were planning to rob the Underworld's treasure vault.

The three thieves -- Locris, Ryou, and a third named Kuroi -- had stolen three relics that could be used to wreak major havoc in the human realm.

The Glove of Transference had the power to transfer the magic power of a wizard over to a Muggle. It could be worn by either a wizard or a Muggle. Once worn, it blended in with the wearer's flesh with only a small red gem appearing in the middle of the wearer's palm to indicate its presence.

The Amulet of Extraction had the ability to remove a person's spirit from their body. If the spirit and body remained seperate for too long, the person would die. It looked like a dark blue gem at the end of a thick gold chain, with an arcane symbol in the center of the gem.

The Rod of Division could divide a person into two separate entities. The two entities would be identical, although the division wasn't meant to be permanent. If one of the entities died, the other would as well. The rod was identified as looking like a foot-long piece of gnarled wood with a yellow orb on top. It was thicker than a wand.

Fred didn't really care about what the relics did. All of them sounded like whoever had them could put them to serious misuse, but all that really needed to be said was that they would do very bad things if used, and to be careful of them.

"How are we supposed to find them?" Fred grumbled aloud.

George shrugged, and then froze. "Up ahead," he muttered, gesturing to an intersection further up the road.

Before the figure could turn the corner and head out of sight, Fred saw a flash of blue hair. He'd bet anything that was Ryou, one of the two demons plotting with Tracy Davis that day in the Three Broomsticks. He didn't know they were demons at the time, but that wasn't important. He gestured for George to follow, and sped up to pursue Ryou.

They had reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Using George's sixth sense, they entered the woods, keeping a safe distance and making sure to be quiet to avoid detection.

"This is great," Ryou said as he held the Rod of Division in front of him, admiring it. "I'll finally be able to get what I want with this."

The big gorilla of a demon, Locris, chuckled deeply. "And if anybody tries to stop you, you can divide them in half and I can trap their spirit." He looked at the blue gem at the end of the chain he wore around his neck. "And if someone tries to use pathetic parlor tricks on us, they might be in for a rude awakening. Right, Kuroi?"

Tracy Davis stood slightly to the side, holding a glove in her hand, but not wearing it. "You guys have fun with whatever you plan to do," she said, turning away from them and putting the glove in her pocket.

"You're taking off?" Ryou asked, frowning.

"That's right," she replied. "I have business to attend to elsewhere."

Locris scoffed. "You really have gone soft. Do you really think we're just gonna let you walk off like this? Give us the glove!"

"I don't think so," Tracy said.

"How's about this?" Fred said, stepping into the clearing. "Why don't you guys fight it out amongst yourselves and we take the relics?"

"Who are you, and how do you know about the relics?" Ryou asked.

George chuckled as he stood next to Fred. "You mean you haven't heard of us?" He wagged his finger. "Allow me to introduce us, then." He cleared his throat, and then started posing ridiculously, speaking energetically. "For love and justice, I am the super cool Underworld Detective--"

Fred glanced to George. "Er, George?"

George wasn't quite done yet. "Sailo-- I mean, George Weasley!"

Fred frowned at his brother. "George!" he shouted, trying to get his attention.

Tracy raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Shouldn't he have long blond hair in pigtails for this? Or at least be wearing a skirt?"

"And that's my brother Fred," George introduced in a normal tone, pointing at Fred. He paused, looking at Tracy. "You look familiar…" He shook his head and resumed his ridiculous posing and overly enthusiastic tone once more. "And in the name of the moon, I will punish you!" He pointed at the three thieves.

Fred placed a hand to his forehead. He would need to have a talk with George later about how to introduce himself like a normal person.

After a long pause, Ryou blinked. "Right… Well, if you are the Underworld's detective, they must have chosen you for a reason." Before anyone could stop him, he jumped back towards the trees, and then leaped up onto a branch before disappearing from sight.

"Oi!" George shouted. "Get back here!"

Tracy sighed and began to walk off. "I apologize, but I cannot allow myself to be captured just yet."

George turned to her. "Where do you think you're going?!"

Locris stood in front of George, blocking him from following her. "Unlike my companions there, I'm not afraid of either of you. I'm more than a match for the both of you."

Fred brought out his wand. He remembered Karin's previous warning that magic didn't affect demons normally, but it didn't hurt to try. George seemed to have the same idea, as he brought his wand out as well.

"_Stupefy_!" they shouted.

The jets of red light seemed to have no effect on Locris, who sneered. "Parlor tricks," he scoffed. He went up to George and backhanded him, sending him flying a few feet through the air.

"George!" Fred shouted. He scowled at the demon. Locris would pay. He rushed at the demon, punching him with all he had. The guy was a gorilla, but Fred only had one shot of his Spirit Gun. He had to make it count.

Locris chuckled, grabbing Fred's wrist and casually tossing him aside. Fred landed next to George, who was grimacing at Locris.

"We need a plan," George said, watching Locris advance on them.

Fred nodded. "Magic doesn't work, and the guy's tough."

As Locris advanced, George pointed his finger at the demon. "Take this!" he shouted, unleashing his Spirit Gun at Locris.

The demon screamed and held a hand to his right eye, badly injured from George's Spirit Gun. "You'll pay!" Locris shouted, holding up the blue gem on the amulet. "Activate!" The symbol within the gem flashed, and George froze, his eyes glazing over.

"George!" Fred shouted, glancing to his twin. He swore as George fell to the ground. He glared at Locris. "What did you do to him?!" he demanded.

Locris chuckled. "I removed his pesky spirit from his body. He doesn't really need--" His eyes widened and he doubled over in pain.

Fred couldn't see what was attacking Locris, but he could tell that something was. Small tears would occasionally appear on his clothing, as well as minor cuts on his skin. Was George's spirit fighting back?

Whether he was or was not, they needed to take Locris down for good. The demon screamed again, placing a hand to his left eye. As Locris screamed, Fred had an idea.

He approached the blinded demon, aiming his finger and waiting for his shot. The moment Locris' arm was out of the way, he unleashed his Spirit Gun into his open mouth.

Locris' screaming stopped, and he collapsed to the ground. Fred hoped that he wouldn't get up as he quickly went over to yank the amulet from around the demon's neck, looking at his brother's form all the while. After retrieving the amulet, he went over to George. He couldn't let his brother be dead. Not at the hands of a low-life punk like this.

"Come on, George," he pleaded, lifting his brother's upper body off the ground. George's eyes remained glazed over. "I don't care how you do it, but wake up!" There was no response, so he shook his brother slightly. The gem of the amulet swung down between them. "There's got to be a way to reverse this… Wake up!" The symbol inside the gem flashed again.

The light returned to George's eyes, and he blinked. "That was just plain weird," he muttered. He looked over to Fred. "You never did say just how weird it was to be a disembodied spirit."

Fred wrapped his twin in a hug. For a few heart-stopping moments, he'd been afraid he'd lost him. "Don't ever do that again!"

George smiled. "It was pretty cool, though, fighting the guy as a spirit. Did you see me use my Spirit Gun a second time? I though I wasn't able to do that."

Fred didn't really care. They got up off the ground, Fred still holding onto the Amulet of Extraction. He didn't know or care how George's spirit returned to his body. All that really mattered was his twin was not dead. Well, they had to find a way to apprehend the demon on the ground. Fred had no idea how long he'd be out, and hadn't really bothered to look at him after hitting him with his own Spirit Gun. "I hope he doesn't get up," Fred voiced out loud.

George walked over to Locris. "I don't think that's going to be a problem. It's probably better if you don't look." He turned to Fred, looking a little green. "I think Firewhisky's in order."

Fred needed to help George stay upright for traveling any distance, as his twin was rather weakened by the ordeal. On their way to the Three Broomsticks, they stopped as Tracy approached them. Fred hoped they wouldn't have to face another fight, as neither of them were in any real shape to fight again. That, and he didn't really fancy the idea of fighting a girl, even if she was a Slytherin (and a demon, supposedly).

"There's no need for those looks," Tracy said as she stood before them. "I'm not here to fight you, and I will not run from you. All I ask for is a favor."

Fred frowned. "A favor?"

She nodded. "I shall return the Glove of Transference to you on Monday. Until then, I ask that you do not try to seek me out."

"And why should we just let you do whatever you want?" George demanded. "We know that thing can steal a person's magic power."

Tracy shrugged indifferently. "That's none of my concern," she said, walking off.

Fred placed a hand on George's shoulder to cut off his twin's protests. He had no idea what Tracy was planning to use the glove for, but had to admit that it would be a lot easier to just wait for her to return it herself rather than fight her for it. He and George could discuss things later and come up with a strategy then.

In the meantime, they needed to calm their nerves. Firewhisky at the Three Broomsticks sounded good.


	11. 11 The Ice Queen

**Chapter 11**: The Ice Queen  
[_June 22, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred wasn't too surprised that Hermione was avoiding him. After their confrontation with Locris, Fred decided to help George out with his shift at the shop. Hermione avoided him the entire time they were there.

Sunday night's dinner at the Burrow wasn't much better. While Hermione couldn't quite avoid him, she didn't speak to him unless she had to. Even then, she barely looked at him. Fred felt like kicking himself for messing things up as badly as he had.

Much to his chagrin, Karin had temporarily moved into the twins' flat. Apparently, there had been some problems with where she had been staying, as 'Koenma was being a cheapskate'. Fred was more than a bit annoyed with that, particularly since she was staying in George's room. He had a feeling that whatever was going on between them was not going to end well, and he'd get stuck in the crossfire.

Although George had Mondays off, he still joined Fred at the joke shop for work. Fred was grateful for that, because he didn't know how well he'd be able to handle working alongside Hermione when things were as awkward as they were. If she'd talk to him then it might be easier to work out whatever was the root cause of the awkwardness. In the meantime, Fred would respect her request for time to think things over. He just hoped it didn't take too long.

Fred was discussing how to care for a Pygmy Puff with a customer when the door belched, signifying that another customer had entered. They had changed the bell above the door to one that made rude sounds. Fred had to admit that he preferred the belching bell to the regular bell. George was ringing up a customer's purchase, so Hermione went over to greet the new customer.

Fred's customer opted to browse around a bit longer before they made up their mind. He hoped they'd make lots of impulse purchases and went back to the counter to help relieve George of some of the customers in line. Before he could reach the counter, though, Hermione intercepted him with Tracy Davis in tow.

"She says she was supposed to meet with you today," Hermione said coldly, her eyes narrowed. "I suppose that something must have slipped your mind if you're planning on taking girls out on dates when you're working now." She turned away from him and walked away to help a group of customers that didn't really look like they needed help.

Fred blinked in confusion. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that Hermione had completely misinterpreted things between him and Tracy. "Wait, Hermione! It's not what you think!" he called after her.

"Really?" she called back. "It doesn't matter to me who you date."

Fred swore under his breath as Hermione turned to the group of customers, ignoring him.

"I seem to have come at a bad time," Tracy said.

Fred sighed and turned to her. "What do you want?"

"I'll be returning the relic today," she said.

"Huh? What relic?" Fred blinked. After a pause, he remembered that he and George were supposed to track down the remaining two stolen relics from Tracy and Ryou. There were no leads on Ryou's whereabouts, and they'd opted to wait for Tracy to approach them about returning the Glove of Transference. "Oh, that relic. It slipped my mind for a moment there."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Yes, well, I'd like you to meet someone before I return it. After that, I will turn myself in without a fight."

Fred narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Without a fight? What's the catch?"

She shook her head. "There's no catch. I just have nothing left to lose."

Fred didn't trust her, but he told George to cover for him, and followed Tracy out of the shop. He had his shot for the day available, although he hoped he wouldn't have to use it.

They walked through Diagon Alley, and entered the Leaky Cauldron. Sitting at a table was a young girl with chestnut brown pigtails who was looking around the pub in utter amazement. Fred shot a questioning look to Tracy as they approached the girl.

"Sis!" The girl waved as she saw them. "It's absolutely amazing here! I've seen pitchers of stuff pour themselves, and other neat stuff! I can't wait until I can go school shopping and then head off to Hogwarts! Have you heard anything back yet from them?"

Tracy shook her head. "Not yet. I'm sure you'll get your letter soon, though." She smiled. "Do you mind if I speak with my friend for a minute, Janice? We'll be right back."

The girl, Janice, nodded. "Sure thing. Will you take me to that Diagon Alley place after you're done talking to him, though?"

Tracy smiled sadly. "We'll see."

She led a confused Fred to the other side of the pub, well out of earshot of the girl, who was watching a mop that was cleaning a corner of the pub on its own.

"She won't get a letter," Tracy said simply. Fred turned to her, and she continued. "I don't know if you're aware of it or not, but my mother was a Muggle and my father a wizard."

"I thought all Slytherins were pureblood," Fred said.

Tracy shook her head. "Not all of them. And not all witches are human, it seems." She sighed and leaned against the wall, looking at Janice. "I am a corvid. A crow demon. For centuries, I was known as Kuroi, a notorious thief. Over the years, I made several enemies, and the occasional rival. It came to the point where I even followed rivals of mine into the human realm after they decided to have a bit of fun seeing what it would be like to be human. They forgot their past lives as demons. I did not."

"I'm not following you," Fred said. "What does any of this have to do with the relic?"

Tracy continued to watch Janice. "When I was reborn as a human, I hadn't expected to have magical ability. I suppose it was carelessness on my part to be born in the body of one who would have magic in their blood. Still, magic is rather useful, but nothing that I would miss too terribly. Janice is my half-sister. She'll be turning eleven tomorrow. She won't get a letter from Hogwarts."

"She's not magical," Fred said, looking over to the young girl.

"My father died during the first war against Voldemort," Tracy said. "My mother remarried when I was four. Janice was born when I was seven. I remember how excited she was when I got my Hogwarts letter. She wanted to go with me. Ever since then that's all she could talk about."

"But if she doesn't have any magic, she can't go." Fred looked to Tracy. "Is that where the glove comes in?" he asked.

Tracy nodded, taking the glove out of her pocket. She placed it on her hand, and the fabric seemed to disappear. The only sign that she wore it at all was the red gem in the center of her palm. "My mother and stepfather were killed in a car accident three months ago. She's gone through enough. She doesn't need the devastation of knowing she'll never get into the school she's dreamed about going to since she was four. It's not fair to her."

"You're going to transfer your magic over to her," Fred said, realizing what it was she planned to do with the Glove of Transference.

Tracy smiled. "She was at a weeklong retreat with some people from her counseling group until yesterday, otherwise I would have done it sooner."

Fred glanced over to her. "Why did you want to tell me all this?"

She paused. "I suppose I needed to tell someone who was willing to listen and able to understand." She peeled herself off the wall. "That, and I'll need some help getting back onto Diagon Alley after I do this. At least until she gets her own wand." She began to walk back towards Janice.

Fred followed her in silence. He had no idea how the Glove of Transference worked, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to see it in action. It just sounded like so permanent a solution. "Why don't you just tell your sister what the deal is?" he asked as he caught up to her. "Let her at least know what you're giving her. Let it be her choice."

She tilted her head, watching him. "I'd rather not put her through any more pain than she has to."

Fred frowned. "Yeah, but wouldn't not knowing hurt her more? It sounds like she wants to be like you. She wants to go to Hogwarts because you did. How do you think she'd feel if she could suddenly use magic and you couldn't?"

There was a long pause as Tracy watched him. "For someone said to be as fatuous as you, you do seem to display a surprising amount of perspicacity from time to time."

Fred frowned. "Did you just call me fat? And I'll have you know that I don't sweat any more than your average person."

Tracy blinked, and then covered her mouth as she laughed. "I'll explain the situation to her."

Fred followed at a distance as Tracy approached her sister. He knew their conversation wouldn't be an easy one, but a necessary one. He decided to leave them their privacy to talk for a bit, and went up to the bar to order a Butterbeer. He sat down, keeping an eye on them. He couldn't hear what Tracy was saying, but from the expressions that crossed Janice's face, it was obvious that she was telling her what needed to be said.

After a lengthy conversation between the siblings, Tracy held her hand out to her sister. Fred watched as Janice stared at her hand for a long while. Slowly, the girl reached her hand out to meet Tracy's.

Fred didn't think that anyone else could see the silver light that emanated from their clasped hands, nor did he think that anyone could see Tracy's visage change. For a brief instant, he could see what must be her demon form. Black wings protruded from her back, and her normally long dark blonde hair darkened so that it was as black as midnight. As the glow faded, Tracy's appearance returned to normal. If Janice had noticed anything unusual about her sister, she made no indication of it.

Fred downed the last of his Butterbeer and stood up.

--- --- ---

"Just one relic to go, right?" George asked as he examined the Glove of Transference. The twins were in the living room of their flat, debriefing what had gone on so far with Karin.

"Be careful of Ryou," the purple-haired girl said. She was sitting on the couch next to George, while Fred was sprawled across the nearby armchair. "We don't have much information on him, but--"

Fred didn't really care, so tuned her out. After retrieving the Glove of Transference from Tracy, he had returned to the shop and tried to explain things to Hermione. She didn't seem to be in any mood to listen, though, and there were too many customers around for him to just blurt out Underworld detective business. He knew that she needed time to think things over, but--

An oar to the head interrupted his thoughts. He clutched his head and glared at Karin. "What did you do that for?!" he demanded.

"Pay attention when someone's talking to you!" Karin shouted. She huffed. "Anyways, if you both survive this mission, Lord Koenma wants both of you to undergo training. He believes that you've both been extremely lucky so far, but at the rate you're going, one or both of you will get killed."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence," he deadpanned.

George set the relic down on the coffee table and turned to Karin. "So how are we supposed to find this Ryou guy to get back the Rod of Division?"

Karin made a thoughtful face. "I'm sure he'll be looking for the other two relics, so he'll probably go after you guys. It might be a good idea to have each of you hold onto one of the relics each, but still stick together as much as possible."

Fred didn't think that was the wisest of ideas, dividing the two relics they'd recovered, but said nothing. He didn't have any ideas on how to find Ryou. He'd asked Tracy about it when escorting her and Janice onto Diagon Alley so the girl could get a wand, but she just gave him a vague answer about Ryou having a nomadic lifestyle. She herself was staying with Janice in the house she'd inherited from their parents in London, but didn't think Ryou knew where she lived.

"Why's Granger avoiding you, anyway?" George asked, startling Fred out of his reverie.

Fred blinked. "Er, things took a bit of an unexpected turn after our date."

George smiled knowingly. "You shagged her, didn't you?" He laughed at the look on Fred's face. "Don't try to deny it. I know she didn't leave until the morning."

"Maybe she just spent the night without anything happening," Karin said to George. "After all, nothing is going on between us, and I'm staying with you."

George snorted. "And I've got a bridge to sell you."

Fred gave them both an odd look. "I don't want to know what you two are or are not doing. But yes, we had sex, and now she's avoiding me."

George shrugged. "So? It could be worse. She could be following you around expecting a relationship with you. Count your blessings and move on."

Fred shot him a look. "I don't want it to be a one night stand! I don't know if I want a relationship, but I want to try to work things out with her, and if a relationship actually develops then it does. I like her, George, and I'm not going to just treat her like some slag I picked up in a bar for a one night stand!"

George raised an eyebrow. "When have you ever picked up a girl in a bar?"

Fred glared at George. "There was that one time when I was extremely drunk. The point is, I don't go for one night stands. Unlike _you_." He paused. "Snogging's one thing. Shagging's quite another."

George glanced to Karin, who was watching them with an amused look on her face, and then turned back to Fred. "Look, maybe this isn't the best conversation to have in front of our present company."

"Don't mind me," Karin said. "I already know about both of your sexual histories, so it's nothing new to me."

George gave her a startled look. "What? How in the world do you know that?"

She chuckled and wagged a finger. "One of the tools of _my _trade is a little book that describes every last detail of your lives. Like you, George Weasley, are quite the braggart. You really don't have as many notches in your bedpost as you'd like everyone to think."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "If it weren't for the fact that I caught him and Verity going at it in the back once, I'd ask if he's been lying about all his conquests and is really a virgin."

George glared at him.

"I wouldn't quite go that far," Karin said, holding out a hand. A thin book appeared in it, which she opened and started to read from. "Including Verity, George has had seven sexual partners in his life. That does not include girls who have kissed him or allowed him to fondle their breasts, nor does it include those who have performed fellatio on him, or--"

"Performed what?" George asked, raising an eyebrow.

Karin's eye twitched. "You know perfectly well what that word means," she said shortly. "The point is, George here likes to claim any girl he's had the slightest romantic experience with as a sexual conquest."

George frowned. "Fred does the same thing," he protested.

Fred shook his head. "No, I don't. I've only been with five girls."

Karin held out her free hand, and another book appeared in it. She opened it and raised an eyebrow curiously before closing the book. "Actually, you've only been with four girls," she said as the book disappeared. "You were too drunk to do anything with that one girl you met at the bar. After going back to her room, you passed out drunk after the two of you had removed your clothing, but before you could do anything. You just assumed you slept with her when you woke up the next morning, naked in her bed."

George snickered. "That's pretty sad."

Karin glanced over to George. "I wouldn't laugh. According to your file, you've never brought a girl to orgasm."

Fred laughed at the mortified look on George's face. "That's probably why he's only had one night stands, isn't it?" Fred said between laughs.

Karin nodded sagely. "And Verity's just a woman who's never experienced an orgasm in her life. To his credit, George did bring her close a few times, but still didn't quite get her there."

George glared at them. "I hate you both," he said.

Karin glanced back down to what was presumably the book containing details about George's life, and then frowned. "Er, Fred? What did you say Kuroi's name is here in the human realm?"

"Tracy Davis," Fred replied. "Why?"

Karin raised an eyebrow and closed the book, which disappeared. "Huh. Small world. George lost his virginity to her."

George turned to her. "What? I didn't sleep with any demons!"

Fred gave his twin a funny look. "She went to school with us. She was in Ron's year, remember?"

George paused in thought. "So she was that Ravenclaw that helped 'cheer me up' after we were banned from Quidditch? No wonder she looked familiar…"

"She was in Slytherin, actually," Fred replied.

George's eyebrows raised. "I slept with a _Slytherin_?"

Fred rolled his eyes and turned to Karin. They were long overdue for a subject change. "So you have no leads whatsoever on where we might find this Ryou guy, other than he'll probably come to us?"

"Now I feel all dirty," George muttered.

Karin ignored George. "He's a tricky one to track. Intelligence from the Underworld has discovered that if he doesn't want to be found, he won't be found."

"In other words, you've got nothing," Fred said. He shook his head at Karin's nod, and then turned to his twin, who was muttering something while wearing a disbelieving look on his face. "Get over it! We're out of school, and what house a person was in doesn't really matter! I doubt you've asked any of the other witches you've been with what house they were in when they were at school."

George looked over to him. "Of course I didn't. Most of the time I didn't even bother to ask what their _names _were."

Karin rolled her eyes. "You're a pig, you know that?"

George raised an eyebrow. "Pig or not, you're the one who decided to take me up on my offer to sleep in my bed with me."

"You two are sleeping in the same _bed_?" Fred asked in disbelief. "And you're claiming there's nothing going on between you?"

Karin gave him an annoyed look. "For your information, I am only allowed a physical body for official Underworld business. It would be highly inappropriate of me to use this body for sexual purposes."

George snorted. "So giving me a blow job was 'official Underworld business'?"

"That was a healing technique!" Karin screamed, standing up and looking rather red in the face. "Now if you two have nothing better to do, why don't you try finding Ryou rather than just sitting here?!" She summoned her oar in her hand. "I'm going to try to find him." Before either of them could say another word, she disappeared.

Fred exchanged a glance with his smirking twin. "Never tell me," Fred said simply. George just laughed at that.

--- --- ---

Fred kicked a rock as he and George walked down the streets of London. They weren't really going anywhere in particular, but were hoping that Ryou would seek them out so they could retrieve the final relic. Fred had to admit that he was half-tempted to see what would happen if they didn't retrieve it by Friday, but a few veiled threats by Karin implied that would be considered 'going back on his agreement', so didn't think it was worth it.

"Maybe you should ask Tracy if she has any idea where Ryou is," Fred mused out loud as they walked past a department store.

George glanced to him. "Why me?"

"You're the one who slept with her," Fred pointed out. "If she knows anything that she's not telling me, she might talk to you." He paused. "Of course, if it was a bad experience she might not."

George frowned. "I am not bad in bed!" he protested. "Some girls are just plain difficult, and I seem to find the difficult ones. If some bint wants to fake an orgasm instead of letting me know what she wants me to do to give her a real one, that's her problem. And can you honestly claim that you were able to give all the girls you were with an orgasm?"

Fred rolled his eyes. "I am not having this conversation with you."

"You brought it up," George said.

Fred nodded. "And I'm ending it."

He ignored any further attempts from George to pry into his sex life. He figured that if George really wanted to know, he could ask Karin. She had access to all that information, and didn't seem that hesitant to volunteer it. Fred wondered if George even realized just what he was getting into by becoming involved with her.

As they passed an alley to the side of a diner, someone called out Fred's name. The twins stopped and turned around. Tracy approached them, holding a lit cigarette and wearing a waitress uniform that showed off a lot of nice looking curves. "Has Ryou tried to track you down yet?" she asked.

Fred shook his head. "Not yet. And you said you have no idea where he is?"

George frowned. "Why didn't you tell me you were in Slytherin?"

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

George went up to her. "I suppose that doesn't matter now, since we're out of school. But tell me the truth. I wasn't all that bad, was I?"

Tracy just looked at him in confusion for a few seconds before turning to Fred. "Do you know what he's talking about?"

Fred made an irritated sound. "I think he's asking you how he was in bed or something stupid like that. Apparently the two of you slept together back at Hogwarts."

"Ah." Tracy turned back to George. "I wouldn't say you were bad. Just inexperienced."

George frowned. "You didn't have an orgasm, though."

Tracy took a drag off her cigarette. "It takes a lot to bring me to orgasm. It's nothing personal. I just like things a tad bit rougher and more violent than I think you would be willing to go." She turned back to Fred. "I don't know where Ryou is right now, but--"

"How rough and violent?" George asked, interrupting her.

She glanced at him. "Enough to require the use of a safety word." She turned back to Fred. "You could always try--"

"What makes you think I can't be rough and violent?" George interrupted once more.

Fred frowned at his twin. "Would you just get off this already?"

"No! Karin insulted me!" George declared. "She says all this crap about how I'm not any good in bed when she doesn't even know what she's talking about! It's a matter of pride!"

Tracy exhaled a puff of smoke as she watched George shrewdly. "And now you have doubts about your prowess." She flicked the cigarette butt into the gutter. "Every woman is different in what pleases her. While you don't strike me as the type willing to be quite as rough as I would want you to be, you are welcome to try. The safety word is 'crowbar'."

George blinked. "Er, what? Are you serious?"

Tracy nodded. "To give you an idea of how rough I like it, bruises, bite marks, and maybe just a bit of blood would be things I'd hope to walk away with. And I should have difficulty walking afterwards."

"And you don't think I could do that?" George asked.

She shrugged. "I think you'd hold back. If you are interested, just realize that there isn't any way that you could really hurt me, and that no matter what words of protest I may say, the safety word is the only one that truly means 'no'."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "You're a masochist, aren't you?"

Tracy smiled slightly. "I suppose you could call me that, yes. As for Ryou, I do believe I can locate him. I've actually already sent my spies out searching for him. He'll be found." She walked towards the door of the restaurant. "In the meantime, why don't you come inside? You won't find him wandering around like this, and my break is just about over. After I get off work, I'll help you find him."

They followed her inside the diner, which Fred thought was a bit of a dive. The lighting was some sort of unnatural florescent, with a few lighting fixtures flickering as if they might go out at any time. A few of the seats were torn, and stuffing could be seen poking out of the tears. Even though he knew that it was probably clean, it still had a dirty atmosphere to it. He wondered what she was doing working in a place like this. He didn't like the looks of a lot of the customers, some of whom were rather loud and obnoxious.

He and George sat down at the counter, ordering coffees. Fred couldn't help but notice that George was watching Tracy with a curious expression on his face. He really hoped that if his twin did something stupid like taking Tracy up on her offer, that George at least would have the forethought to settle whatever he had going on with Karin first.

Every now and then, Tracy would make her rounds to refill their coffee cups. After several cups of coffee and a trip to the restroom later, they finally had the chance to make headway into the Ryou situation as Tracy got off work.

"How can you stand working there?" Fred asked her as they left the restaurant.

She shrugged. "It's a job. It pays the bills."

George frowned. "Yeah, but there were guys grabbing your arse and calling you names. Why put up with that crap?"

"They wouldn't tip me if I threw them through a window," Tracy said succinctly. She led them through a few alleyways and side streets until they ended up in what could only be described as the seedier side of London.

"Er, what are we doing here?" Fred asked as they entered a nightclub called 'The Ogre's Lair'.

"Wizards aren't the only ones who remain hidden from prying eyes," she said.

Fred glanced around the room. He noticed a lot of the customers had horns or tails, or other strange features that denoted they weren't quite human. There appeared to be a stage set up where one demon with wrinkly gray skin was singing a song about liking 'big butts'.

"I never knew there was a demon bar in London," George said. "Of course, I never knew that demons were real until just a couple of weeks ago."

Fred was all too aware that they were attracting strange looks and whispers from many of the inhabitants as they walked up to the bar counter. He had no idea why Tracy had brought them there until she got the bartender's attention.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Kuroi," the red-skinned demon tending the bar said. "Can I interest you in some karaoke? Until now, I never knew that the song 'Baby Got Back' could be sung as a ballad. Krisnar there sure proved me wrong. Something to drink, perhaps? How about a margarita? A strawberry daiquiri, maybe?"

"No, thank you, Merle," Tracy said politely. "A little birdie told me that Ryou came in here. Have you seen him?"

Merle the bartender made a thoughtful face and stoked his chin with a clawed hand. "Ryou… Short tempered ice demon, blue hair, about yay high?" He held his hand to just below his neck. "He's no Freddie Mercury, but he did an excellent rendition of 'We Are the Champions'." He glanced to Fred and George. "But who are your pets here, pet?"

"These are friends of mine," Tracy said. "They will not be harmed while here, either in my company or not."

Merle waved her off. "You know the rules here, sweetheart. There's no violence allowed in my club whatsoever. Are you sure you don't want to sing? What about your friends?"

"Is Ryou still here?" Fred asked.

Merle looked over at him with his bright yellow eyes. "He's in the basement, but… Are you human?" He blinked and glanced to George. "And you either have a twin, or Ryou's been a naughty boy."

"We're twins," George said, turning to Tracy. "Shall we go to the basement and deal with Ryou down there?"

"Not so fast there, ginger," Merle said. "I have no problem with you going down there, but violence of any kind is a strict no-no."

"We just need to have a chat with Ryou," Tracy said in a pleasant tone. "Nothing violent."

Merle paused, and then pointed towards a door located to the side of the counter. "Go on, then." The demon singing on the stage ended the song, and he began to applaud as he walked out from behind the counter. "That was a most interesting rendition of such a fine classic! Ladies, gentlemen, and squortzars, I give you Krisnar the Eviscerator!" There was scattered applause from some of the other bar patrons as the bartender went over to the demon who had been singing.

Fred and George followed Tracy through the door that led down to the basement. Fred had no idea what to expect, but doubted that retrieving the Rod of Division from Ryou would be as simple as retrieving the Glove of Transference from Tracy had been.

As they descended the stairs, Fred could swear that he heard cats meowing. Once the room itself came into view, he could see why.

"I'll see your tabby and raise you a calico," a demon with short little tentacles on his chin said as he placed a kitten onto the table that four demons were gathered around. All four demons were holding cards in their hands.

Aside from the demon with tentacles, there was a bald demon with gray skin that could only be described as corpulent. He was sitting on a bench that would normally seat at least three people, yet took up the entire bench on his own. Fred was surprised the bench hadn't collapsed under the demon's weight, but figured that the bench must be rather sturdy. One of the other demons looked like someone who had suffered from a horrible skin condition, having splotchy skin and pointed ears. He was also bald, and had yellow eyes.

The last demon had spiky blue hair like Ryou did, except for it was long and pulled back into a ponytail. They even wore a leather overcoat and a pair of sunglasses on top of their head like Ryou did. The only problem was that the blue haired demon was female.

"I thought kitten poker had been banned here," Tracy said, raising an eyebrow.

The demon with the tentacles on his chin glanced to her. "It wasn't banned. Eating the kittens before the game ended was what was banned." He glared at the corpulent demon. "Right, Faverin?"

"I can't help it! They're delicious!" Faverin the corpulent protested. "And if I win a hand, I should be able to eat my winnings!"

The demon with splotchy skin looked over Fred and George before glancing to Tracy. "Are you in the delivery business now? The least you could do is bake them before bringing them here."

"Baking kills the flavor! Humans are best broiled," tentacle chin said.

"Nah. Marinated in a nice white wine sauce and then slowly roasted brings out the flavor best," Faverin interjected.

"We're not here to be eaten!" George said. He turned to Tracy. "That better not be why you brought us here, because I don't want to be eaten."

"They're the Underworld's newest detectives," the blue haired demon scoffed, standing up. She glared at Tracy. "Why the hell did you bring them here?"

Tracy looked at her in amusement. "I would ask if you would care for a tissue, Ryou, but I see I'm a bit too late for that."

The blue haired demon screamed and lunged at Tracy. Before she could quite reach her, a ripple of light formed in between them, and the blue haired demon went bouncing back a couple of feet.

Fred turned to Tracy. "That's Ryou? I thought he was, well, a _he_."

The temperature in the room dropped suddenly as the blue haired demon glared at them.

"They're Underworld detectives?" the demon with tentacles on his chin said, standing up. He glanced around at his companions. "I am absolutely shocked and appalled that you would play poker using kittens! Appalled!" He glanced to the twins. "It was all their idea! They made me do it! I'm not under arrest, am I?"

Fred blinked. "Er…"

The demon with splotchy skin stood up. "Shut up, Warg! You were the one who wanted to play, and do you really think we haven't noticed that you've been cheating all night, using illusions to change what cards you appear to have in your hand?"

Warg frowned. "Faverin's the one with cards hidden in his folds of fat! If anyone's cheating it's him!"

"I'm not fat!" Faverin protested. "I actually happen to be underweight, according to my doctor! And Grendel's the one with x-ray vision!"

"I'm not using it!" the demon with splotchy skin objected.

The blue haired demon -- presumably Ryou, as the Rod of Division was tucked into the belt of her pants -- walked up to the twins and Tracy. "We take this outside," she said coldly, walking past them to the staircase.

They followed her back upstairs, leaving the three bickering demons to continue their argument in peace.

"Ryou has a bit of a curse on him," Tracy explained to the twins. "He's rather sensitive about it, although I can't imagine why. I think he'd look rather cute in a skirt, but whenever I bring up the possibility of _maybe _getting him to dress like a girl, he gets in a snit about it."

"I can hear you!" Ryou growled. "And I do _not _get 'in a snit'! I simply refuse to cross-dress for _your _amusement, Kuroi!"

Tracy just smiled as the group re-entered the main area of the club, where another demon was up on stage crooning.

"But if you're a girl, it wouldn't be cross-dressing, would it?" Fred asked.

The female Ryou snarled at that. "Outside."

They followed her out of the club. Before the door had the chance to properly close, she had turned to them. "I don't know what you were thinking, Kuroi, but I'd suggest you keep your filthy flying rats out of my business and leave me alone."

Tracy frowned. "I would thank you not to call them--" She stopped suddenly and looked down at her feet, which had been encased in ice. "Real mature, Ryou," she said.

Fred took a step forward. "Listen up. I'd like this to go as peacefully as possible, but I'll fight you if I have to. Why don't you just hand over the Rod of--"

Before he could finish his sentence, Ryou had drawn out the Rod of Division and there was a flash of white light. Fred was thrown backwards a couple of feet on the sidewalk.

"She's gone," George said as he lowered the arm he'd raised to shield his eyes. "What was that all about, anyway?"

Fred slowly picked himself off the ground. "I have no ide--" He stopped abruptly as he saw himself standing next to George. "Oh, hell." He stood up, coming face to face with himself. "Please tell me I didn't die again."

"You didn't," Tracy said as she wiggled her leg around to break the ice. "He split you with the Rod of Division."

"This is kind of weird," the other Fred said as he and his counterpart stared at one another.

George raised his eyebrows at the sight of the two Freds. "Does that mean that instead of being twins, we're triplets now?"

Both Freds glared at him.


	12. 12 Double Trouble

**Chapter 12**: Double Trouble  
[_June 23, 1998_]

--- --- ---

It had never really occurred to Fred before just how small the flat above the shop was. Maybe that was because he felt that it was getting a bit more crowded, as there weren't really enough beds to go around.

He'd had an argument with himself over which Fred got to sleep in his bed. He contended that he was the original so had the rights to the bed, while the other Fred insisted that he was the original. Before a fistfight could break out between them, George had grumpily stormed into his room, cast a spell that transfigured the bed into two smaller twin beds, and walked out of the room without saying a word.

Waking up the next morning, Fred was rather apprehensive when he found his double was already gone. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or not, as he had no idea how temporary his split state was. If his double had already gotten up for the day, Fred needed to find him as soon as possible.

After quickly getting dressed, Fred went down to the shop where George and Hermione had opened up for the day. It was still early in the morning, so not many people were out and about. Fred was mildly relieved at that, as that meant not many customers would be around. Much to his dismay, however, he found his double attempting to chat up Hermione while George was pointedly staring at a cardboard cup of coffee in front of him.

"I know you say you need time," Fred-2 (as he named his double in his mind) said to Hermione as he held her hands in his. "What happened between us shouldn't have happened so soon. I blame myself for letting it happen, and I apologize."

"I'm just confused, Fred," Hermione said. "I've never gone that far with anyone before. You've got a reputation, and you've got all these pretty witches throwing themselves at you, like that girl from yesterday you went on a date with."

"That girl from yesterday is a demon I was sent to retrieve a relic from. We didn't go on a date," Fred-2 explained. "The relic she had gave her the ability to transfer magical power from a witch to a Muggle. She wanted me to meet her younger sister before she transferred her magic to her and gave me the relic. I have no interest in her, or in any other woman. I've respected and admired you for quite some time, and recently I've found that I fancy you quite a lot."

Fred frowned and descended the staircase. "Oi! We need to find Ryou!" he called out as he made his presence known.

Hermione glanced between them, and then glanced to George, who was staring intently at his cup of coffee, pretending that he wasn't listening. She took a step back and pulled her hands out of Fred-2's. "Wait, if George is there, then which one of you is Fred?" She looked between the Freds once more.

"I am," both Freds said at the same time. They looked at one another. "No, you're not, I am!" they said simultaneously once more.

"They both are," George said, rolling his eyes. "Fred got attacked by a demon last night, got split in two, and now I have two twins." He took a sip of his coffee. "I can't believe they opened a Starbucks in Diagon Alley…" he muttered.

Hermione slowly nodded, still watching the two Freds apprehensively. "Well, you did say that you fought demons as the Underworld detective…" she said.

"I mean, it's an American coffee shop, and a Muggle establishment at that!" George continued.

"Yeah, and I guess it was my turn to take a hit, since George seemed to get all the bad luck so far," Fred said, ignoring his actual twin's rant.

Hermione looked between the Freds. "And neither of you are a Death Eater in disguise?"

"We're not," Fred-2 stated. "I'll admit it's a bit disconcerting, and I hope to have this remedied soon."

"And they're incredibly overpriced! Twelve sickles and five knuts for a simple cup of coffee! Nowhere else charges more than six sickles! And that was for a small one!" George continued.

Fred looked over to him. "If you don't like it, why are you drinking coffee you got from there?" he asked.

George took a sip of his coffee. "Because nowhere else on Diagon Alley sells a triple shot white chocolate mocha with extra whipped cream, and I didn't feel like going all the way to Hogsmeade just to get coffee from Madame Puddifoot's."

Fred rolled his eyes. He turned to the door as the bell over it belched. He wasn't too terribly surprised to see Tracy walk in with her younger sister Janice, although he couldn't help but notice that Hermione narrowed her eyes at the sight of the older girl.

Janice beamed as she saw Fred. "I got my letter! It came this morning!" she exclaimed, holding up a sheet of parchment. She paused as she saw the second Fred. "Ryou got you, didn't he?"

Fred nodded, and then frowned. "Wait, how do you know about Ryou?"

Janice smirked. "Did you think you're the only one who knows about demons?" She suddenly clasped her hand over her mouth. "Oh. Er, everyone here does as well, right?"

Fred nodded. "I told Hermione everything, yes."

"Are you a demon, too?" Hermione asked.

Janice shook her head. "Nope. But big sis is. She was this legendary thief named Kuroi who led thousands of other demons at one point. No treasure was safe, and no amount of security was strong enough. She came to the human realm and retired and became my big sister. She did teach me how to use my Reiki in case some demon showed up and tried to get revenge on her or something." She looked around. "I'm going to look around and see what I'll need for school now." Not waiting for an answer, she went off in the direction of the shelves.

Tracy sighed. "I promised that I'd get her something _after _we did the rest of her school shopping. She wanted to come here first."

"Is that the only reason you came here?" Hermione asked, glaring at her.

Tracy turned to her. "I apologize if you came to the wrong conclusion yesterday, but I wished for Fred to have the opportunity to see that I meant no harm with the Glove of Transference, and to return it to him. I have no desire for him."

"Do you have any idea where Ryou might be hiding?" Fred asked.

"My spies are tracking him," Tracy replied.

"You said something like that last night," George said, watching her as he downed more of his coffee. "Who are your spies, or can't you tell us?"

"Just a few avian friends," Tracy said airily.

Fred-2 glanced to George. "She's a crow demon." He turned to Tracy. "You're using birds, aren't you?"

Tracy nodded. "I have an affinity with them. We should be off, though. If I hear anything, I'll let you know."

"To hell with that," George said. "We should go now." Fred nodded his agreement.

"You guys are taking off again?" Hermione asked in disapproval.

Fred turned to her. "We have to. I can't stay like this forever." He gestured at himself and Fred-2, who frowned.

"No," Fred-2 said, folding his arms across his chest. "I never asked for any of this Underworld detective nonsense. I already died once, and I fail to see the point in putting my life on the line just because I'm told to do so. So far, my brother has been stabbed and had his spirit ripped out of his body. I don't want him to get hurt any more because of this. If the Underworld truly wants someone to work for them, I'm sure they can find someone else to assist them and leave us alone."

There was a pause as everyone stared at him. Fred frowned. "But who else is there?" he asked. "I may not be happy about being tricked into working for the Underworld, and I'm certainly not happy about George getting hurt, but I can't sit back and do nothing. Innocent people who _can't _defend themselves could be hurt. George _can _defend himself. I might not like that he's joining me in this, but I appreciate the sentiment and am glad to have him by my side."

Fred-2 shrugged. "I refuse to go."

Fred glared at him. "And I refuse to just stay here and do nothing!"

"I'm going, too," Hermione declared, drawing everyone's attention. She turned to Fred. "From what you told me, fighting demons is dangerous, and you'll need all the support you can get."

Fred stared at her. "But--"

"No buts," Hermione said. "If you guys want to just take off whenever you feel like it to do something extremely dangerous, you shouldn't expect others to pick up the slack for you here. I agreed to work here because you were understaffed and thought you'd be here. Not so you could go off and get yourselves killed. I'm going."

Fred exchanged a look with George, who was gaping at Hermione in shock. Turning back to Hermione, Fred said, "It's dangerous. Magic doesn't affect demons the same way it does humans."

Hermione shrugged. "I don't care. If you're going, I'm going. It's better than staying here and worrying whether or not you'll come back."

"This is why I didn't want to tell you anything," Fred-2 said. "One of the reasons why I love you is because you're so headstrong. But I don't want to do this, and I don't any anyone I care about put themselves in danger like this."

Fred glared at his double briefly before turning back to Hermione. "I told you because I wanted you to understand why there might be a time when I don't come back. I never meant for you to want to join me out there."

Fred-2 nodded. "And that's why I refuse to do this. I want to be with you, Hermione, but I can't let you get yourself killed. Let's just stay here and forget about all of this. I'm sure there's some spell out there that can fix this. If we put our minds together, I'm sure we'll find it. Someone else can deal with Ryou and the Rod of Division."

Fred frowned. "There is no one else." He placed his hands on Hermione's shoulders. "Don't worry about me. I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Don't get involved in this. You have no reason to."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Amusing though this may be, I'll be heading out now. Janice has had enough time to figure out what she wants after the rest of her school shopping is complete. I hope you're able to work things out between you."

"Tracy, wait," George said as he went over to her. "What are you doing later today?"

"I'm taking Janice school shopping, dropping her off at a friend's, and then I'll be searching for Ryou," she replied. "Why?"

George smiled. "Because we could all search for Ryou together." He glanced at Hermione and Fred-2. "All of us. We'll close up shop for the day so we can deal with Fred's little problem." He turned back to Tracy. "And maybe later, you and I…" He leaned closer to her and whispered something in her ear.

Fred-2 made a face. "I hope that you had the decency to end things with Karin at least."

Hermione looked at them in confusion. "Karin… Isn't that the girl from the other night? Your boss?"

George pulled away from Tracy. "Karin and I aren't involved," he said dismissively. He smiled at Tracy. "So what do you think?"

"Only if you think you're up for it," Tracy said before going off to find her sister. She waved at them. "Later, then."

Fred had a feeling that George was going to be in for a surprise if he felt his womanizing wasn't going to backfire on him. He couldn't be too concerned at the moment, though, as he still needed to convince Hermione that going with them was a really bad idea.

--- --- ---

To say that Fred was not happy that Hermione had insisted on joining them to find Ryou was an understatement. It was extremely dangerous, particularly since they'd split up into two groups to cover more ground.

George was searching for Ryou alongside Tracy and Karin, which Fred thought had the potential to be a rather explosive combination. Fred wasn't too happy with his group. Fred-2 was acting like a lazy little pissant, Fred thought. Fred-2 didn't seem to care that catching Ryou was important, and kept wanting to take off. Fred did have to admit that he did have his uses, since he had successfully gotten Hermione to talk to him again, but Fred thought that he should just let the matter drop and let Hermione distance herself if she wanted. As much as it would hurt if she did distance herself, it would be even worse if she got hurt because she tried to get involved with Underworld detective business.

Fred was grateful that Tracy had sent one of her two pet ravens with them. He had known that there were instances of wizards or witches having ravens as familiars instead of owls, but hadn't realized that Tracy was one of them. Of course, he hadn't really paid much attention to her before, so he had no reason to know that. Kara flew on ahead of them, perching when at a distance up ahead, and flying onwards as they approached. Her other raven, Sue, was guarding Janice, who Tracy was rather protective of. If they encountered Ryou, Kara would fly to Tracy's group and alert them. If Tracy's group encountered him, Karin would do pretty much the same thing.

For lack of any actual direction, they were pretty much following Kara through the industrial section of London. As they had reached a tire yard, Fred noticed that Kara seemed to be flying around over it instead of perching and waiting. The bird seemed to be telling them that Ryou was there, as it flew off the moment Fred's group entered the yard.

"You should go back," Fred said to Hermione. "Apparate to safety."

Hermione shook her head. "I have to see for myself."

Fred frowned. "You won't be able to see much."

Fred-2 nodded. "Why don't we all go back? Karin never did say why it was so important to get the relics back, and it's not like Ryou can do too much damage with the one he has right now. Let the Underworld deal with him. I'm not a fighter."

"It's a bit too late for that, detective," Ryou called out from up ahead. He stood on top of a stack of tires and held the Rod of Division in his hand. He was curiously back in his male form, and Fred had to wonder about what caused him to switch to a female form to begin with. "Hand me the other two relics, and I'll let you all go."

Fred frowned. George currently possessed both the Amulet of Extraction and the Glove of Transference. It was a risky move, but one that was unavoidable due to the two Freds bickering over which of them was the original, and the inability to decide which Fred should carry one of the relics.

"Get me back to normal, and then we'll talk," Fred said.

"I don't want to fight," Fred-2 said. "I never asked for any of this."

Ryou chuckled. "Your choice."

Hermione cried out as ice formed around her feet, quickly rising until it was halfway to her knees. She brought out her wand and started casting spells to try to free herself from the ice.

Ryou scoffed. "Pathetic. Do you really think that _magic _will work?"

Fred frowned. He didn't know if he and the other Fred had one shot each of the Spirit Gun or not. Either way, he didn't have to use his Spirit Gun just yet.

He aimed his wand at a nearby pile of tires, casting a spell to make several of them fly at Ryou, who toppled over along with the rest of the stack of tires he was standing on as the flying tires hit him. Magic might not be able to directly affect him, but that didn't mean it couldn't be used at all.

Fred-2 was trying to help Hermione free herself from the ice, which was slowly crawling up her leg. "Try Apparating," he said. "Even if you splinch--"

"I tried already!" Hermione exclaimed. "This isn't normal ice!"

Ryou chuckled as he pulled himself off the ground, still clutching the rod in his hand. "Of course it's not. Feels real enough, though. I wonder what will happen first. Will you freeze to death, or will you be smothered when the ice eventually covers up your mouth and nose? I can make it colder, but I'm feeling generous."

Fred cried out with surprise as he was attacked from behind. He was knocked down to the ground, and pinned down by someone placing a foot on his back.

Ryou laughed as he approached Fred. "But just because I'm feeling generous, doesn't mean I feel like playing _nice_."

"Let her go!" Fred-2 shouted, punching Ryou. The blue haired demon staggered back, but still held the rod. "Release her this instant!"

Ryou smirked. "If you think you can defeat me--" He was punched once more by Fred-2. Looking up at the fight, Fred could see that Fred-2 appeared to have infused his fist with Reiki, and was preparing to punch Ryou once more. What was strange was that Ryou wasn't even trying to fight back.

"Ice Chain!" the figure standing on Fred shouted, sending a chain that appeared to be made of ice shooting in the direction of Fred-2. It wrapped around him, and the figure pulled on it, sending Fred-2 to the ground.

Fred felt the pressure on his back was removed as the figure slowly advanced towards Fred-2. He picked himself off the ground, cursing under his breath as he saw it was another Ryou. "We'll defeat you," he said as he charged into battle, hitting the Ryou who had been standing on him. He cast a spell to send a few more tires fly in the general direction of the first Ryou, not caring if they hit or not. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Hermione had summoned a few tires over to her.

Fred readied himself to punch the second Ryou again, but was knocked back by a blast of cold wind released by the first. The second Ryou froze where he stood, blinking rapidly a few times before sneezing.

The transformation was almost instant. The second Ryou's hair grew longer, and his body changed from a male form to a female form. The female Ryou swore loudly. While the male Ryou was distracted, Fred-2 was able to get a hit in on him before screaming in pain.

"Sorry, Fred!" Hermione called out. Fred glanced over to her to see that she held a bow in her hand, with a quiver of arrows nearby. He figured she must have transfigured the summoned tires into a bow and arrows. "I haven't practiced since I was eleven!"

Fred-2 pulled out the arrow that had struck him in the shoulder while the male Ryou watched on in amusement.

"Taking each other out now?" he taunted, smirking. He dodged as Fred-2 tried to attack him with the bloody arrow.

In his distraction, Fred had failed to pay any attention to what the female Ryou was doing, and received a fist to his face as a result, which was followed through a punch to the gut.

Normally, Fred thought that fighting girls was rather distasteful. Guys were simply not supposed to hit girls, period. But there were a few things that made the situation different, in his mind. First, despite appearances, Ryou was not a girl. Second, Ryou was a demon. And third, Ryou had attacked him.

With those reasons in mind, Fred sent his fist flying, connecting with female Ryou's face and causing 'her' to fall back onto the ground.

"Ow!" she whined, holding a hand to her bloody nose. "Don't you know you're not supposed to hit girls? What is wrong with you?!"

This time, the male Ryou screamed as an arrow hit him in the side. Hermione screamed something along the lines of 'that's right, punk!' from where she stood. The ice was almost up to her waist by this point.

Fred aimed a finger at female Ryou. "Release her now!" he demanded, not sure if his Spirit Gun would work, but prepared to try it.

The female Ryou looked up at him for a few seconds before doing something completely unexpected and bursting into tears. "It should have worked!" she wailed. "It's not fair!"

The male Ryou frowned as he pulled the arrow out of him and tossed it to the ground. "Get up and fight!" he shouted, dodging a punch thrown by Fred-2.

The female Ryou shook her head. "All I want is to be normal! I don't want to fight them!"

The male Ryou snorted in disgust and advanced towards his female counterpart.

"I don't want to fight, either," Fred-2 said. "But I'm not going to stand by and let you do whatever you want. Spirit Gun!"

A blast of Reiki shot out of Fred-2's fingertip, hitting the male Ryou in the back and knocking him to the ground. Before the male Ryou could recover from the blast, Fred-2 walked over to him and placed a foot on the arm still holding the Rod of Division. He pried it out of Ryou's hand. "Don't get up," Fred-2 said.

Ryou growled. "Damn you…" he said before unleashing an Ice Chain straight into the air using his free hand. It caused Fred-2 to stumble back, startled as the chain grazed him. Ryou grabbed the rod back from Fred-2, and went over to the female Ryou. "Let's finish this," he said as his counterpart wrapped a hand around the rod.

There was a flash of white light, and the two Ryous became one very pissed off looking female Ryou. She looked down at herself. "Stupid curse," she muttered.

Fred held no illusions that she would not hesitate to attack this time. As she got up and turned her back to attack Fred-2, Fred unleashed a Spirit Gun at her that knocked her down to the ground again. He placed a foot on her back as Fred-2 retrieved the Rod of Division once more.

"Release Hermione now," Fred demanded, digging his heel into Ryou's back and causing the demon to cry out.

The ice around Hermione shattered and she was free once more. She stumbled forward a few steps before falling to her knees.

"Hermione!" Fred-2 called out as he went over to her. "Are you alright?"

She smiled weakly at him. "My legs are numb, but other than that I'm fine."

"I really need to train you guys in how to book and transport demons once they're contained," Karin said as she floated on her oar a few feet away. She smiled at them as they looked over to her. "I guess the cavalry's arrived."

"You're late," Fred said.

Karin shrugged. "Better late than never."

--- --- ---

Fred stood in the living room of his flat, his counterpart next to him. He held the Rod of Division in his hand, and was waiting rather impatiently for Karin to finish explaining things. Both Locris and Ryou had been arrested, which had surprised Fred. Based off George's reaction after Fred had shot Locris with his Spirit Gun, Fred hadn't been sure that Locris had survived. Karin explained that while Locris had been in bad shape and wasn't about to win any beauty contests, it was nothing lethal.

"Your Spirit Gun is actually far too weak at this point to be lethal," she had laughed. Fred didn't think it was so funny, but was glad that he hadn't actually killed anyone. Whether it was part of his job or not, he didn't fancy the idea of taking a life, even if it was that of a demon who tried to steal his twin's spirit.

Apparently, the way to reunite the two Freds was for both of them to hold onto the Rod of Division at the same time. Fred had to admit that he'd miss having the other him around, as they had come to an understanding after their confrontation with Ryou. Fred-2 wasn't as reluctant at accepting his duties as the Underworld detective as he had been, as he seemed to realize that somebody had to do it, and he had wanted to do it during their fight. Neither of them appreciated how sneakily they'd been recruited, but that was another issue entirely, and one that they were in full agreement about.

Fred looked around the living room as Karin continued in full 'explanation mode'. Hermione sat on the couch under a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa, trying to get warm after having been encased in ice. He had been both surprised and awed that she had still found a way to fight back even when frozen where she stood. He imagined that she must have been in incredible pain, as the ice was freezing cold.

"It seems a shame, rejoining them so soon." Tracy said, interrupting Karin as she leaned against one wall, standing next to George. "Right now, Fred is living proof of just how complex people can be. It almost makes me want to lock them in separate rooms and run psychological tests on them to find just how different his two halves are." At the weird looks she received from everyone, she shrugged. "I have an interest in psychology."

"Are you going to a university in the fall to take any courses in psychology?" Hermione asked, looking over to her.

Tracy shook her head. "After Janice goes to Hogwarts, I'm probably going to wander around for a while and find a few old rivals of mine here in the human realm."

Karin frowned. "The Underworld isn't likely to be too happy with you meeting up with other demons, and you know it."

Tracy shrugged, unconcerned. "The Underworld really should stay out of the affairs of others. Their interference is most unwanted and unbecoming."

"Interference?!" Karin shrieked. "It is the Underworld's duty to protect humans from demons like you! You cannot expect to enter the human realm and do whatever you want to do!"

"I obey the laws, and keep a fairly low profile most of the time," Tracy said calmly. "I see no reason why the Underworld should have any problems with me. That is, unless _you _have a problem with me."

Karin glared at Tracy. "Of course I have a problem with a thief like you! You can't claim to obey the law and then go around _stealing_ things!"

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "To be fair, the relics were recovered, and they had nothing to do with the human realm or its laws. I presume that is what you were referring to, right?"

Fred gave a funny look to George, who was watching the two girls with a highly amused expression on his face. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

George nodded, smirking. "Very much so."

Hermione stood up. "Both of you, knock it off!" Karin and Tracy both glanced to her, and she sat back down, readjusting her blanket so it covered her once more. "Honestly. George is not worth fighting over, if that's what you're doing."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "I thought we were fighting over demons' rights in the human realm," she said, although there was a slight hint of amusement in her voice that indicated otherwise.

George frowned. "Thanks, Granger," he said sarcastically. "I was hoping they'd come to blows."

Fred-2 rolled his eyes. "Let's just get this over with," he said as he placed his hand around the Rod of Division. There was a flash of white light. When the light faded, only one Fred remained.

Karin stormed up to George. "You were hoping we would _what_?"

George shrugged. "Well, I suppose that we'd need some mud for that. Ow!" He placed a hand to his cheek where Karin had slapped him.

"Karin," Tracy called out, getting the ferry girl's attention. Tracy peeled herself off from the wall and approached her, whispering something in the other girl's ear.

Fred shook his head and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to Hermione and placing the Rod of Division on the coffee table in front of him. "It probably wouldn't be a good idea to interfere with their little drama."

Hermione nodded. "I suppose it's like a train wreck. You can't stand to watch, but you just can't turn away."

George glared over at them. "Thanks for the support. Really."

"I'm not so sure…" Karin said as she pulled back from Tracy. She glanced at George briefly, and then whispered something into Tracy's ear.

Fred turned to Hermione. "Popcorn?" Hermione nodded, and he summoned a bag of popcorn in from the kitchen. As it was unpopped, he cast a spell to pop it.

"You could have gotten off the couch for that," George said.

Fred shrugged. "Probably," he said as he opened the bag and offered some to Hermione.

"All I'm saying is that it's worth a try," Tracy said as she pulled away from Karin. "It does seem to be the best solution to the situation."

Karin made a face. "But still…"

Tracy smiled. "The thing you need to understand about demons is that we're far more open-minded to experimenting than others might be."

George glanced between them. "Experiment with what? What are you talking about?"

A thoughtful expression crossed Karin's face as she resolutely ignored George. "I'm still not sure…"

"Sure about what?" George asked, looking between them.

Tracy looked over to him. "Would you be interested in a threesome?"

Fred nearly choked on his popcorn, and had to be patted on the back by Hermione a few times. After regaining his bearings, he could see that George was looking rather shocked at such a proposition.

"A threesome?" George repeated, looking between the two girls in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Tracy nodded. "I'll admit that it sounds weird, but I am rather curious."

George blinked, and then slowly smirked. "I have no problems with that whatsoever."

Karin chuckled. "While I'm sure this is something I'm definitely not supposed to do here in the human realm…" She walked over to the coffee table and picked up the Rod of Division. "Hold still. Kuroi, you might want to stand aside."

George suddenly frowned. "Wait, what are you doing with that?"

"Who did you think the threesome would involve?" Tracy asked as she glanced over her shoulder at George, who was trying to use her as a shield.

"I thought you meant you and her!" George exclaimed.

Karin shook her head. "No, we were initially just going to split you and maybe share, but then I decided I have no interest in cads. But Kuroi there is kind of kinky, in that she still wants to split you and then have a threesome with you and your double."

Fred and Hermione burst into a fit of laughter on the couch as George's eyes widened. "_What_?! No! That's just… No!" George protested.

Tracy tilted her head. "Why not? It might be fun."

George shook his head. "It wouldn't be 'fun'! It would just be… weird and confusing!"

Karin shrugged and held out her free hand, summoning her oar. "Well, if you don't want to go that route, I'll be returning the relics to the Underworld now. I have a job to do. Have fun, you two." With the other two relics safely tucked into her pocket, she disappeared.

George frowned and turned to Tracy. "So that's what you were whispering to her about?"

Tracy shrugged. "Amongst other things. I would recommend having a talk with her sometime in the near future. I have no problem if you're with someone else, but only if they have no problem with it, either." She turned away from him and walked to the door.

George frowned, following her. "But we weren't together! We were just fooling around!"

Fred shook his head as George's protests could be heard, even after they'd both left and closed the door behind them. "I knew this would happen," he muttered.

Hermione glanced to him. "You knew that Tracy would want to have a threesome with him and his non-existent double?" she asked, smirking.

Fred chuckled. "That they'd have a confrontation of some kind. I expected more screaming and violence, though."

Hermione nodded. "A lot of your reputation back in school was because of him, wasn't it?"

"Probably," Fred admitted. "Most girls could never be bothered to try to tell us apart. Although a lot of both of our reputations were exaggerated, I think."

There was an awkward pause as they sat there on the couch, neither of them quite looking at the other. "How many girls have you slept with?" Hermione asked.

"Counting you, four," Fred said, not wanting to lie. "Two of them were one night stands that I sometimes wish hadn't happened, one of them was two friends trying to be more than just that, and then there's whatever it was between us."

"An experience?" Hermione asked.

Fred frowned. "I want it to be more than just that." He turned to Hermione. "Things happened between us faster than they should have, and we've both got a lot to deal with. I can understand if you need time. Just tell me, though. Ignoring what happened isn't going to undo it."

Hermione paused in thought. "It seems as though you're far more aware of your feelings that I am."

Fred shrugged. "I don't put as much thought into things as you do. I can be rather thoughtless that way."

"I don't think you're thoughtless," Hermione said. "You go by your feelings, and don't over think things like I do. All I've been doing since the other night was analyzing and over analyzing what happened."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Did you make any graphs or charts to go along with your over analysis?" he teased.

"Actually, yes," Hermione said, smiling. "I even made a PowerPoint presentation to detail my findings thus far."

Fred looked at her in bemusement. He had no idea what a 'PowerPoint presentation' was, and from the context, probably didn't want to know.

Hermione turned to him. "One thing I kept coming back to is that you're the older brother of my best friend. You're rude, arrogant, and sometimes outright obnoxious. And I don't know what exactly, but I feel something when I'm with you."

"Something good?" Fred asked hopefully.

Hermione nodded and smiled slightly. "Yes, Fred, something good. And that scares me a little, because I'm not supposed to feel anything for you." She set her mug of cocoa down on the table. "I guess that's why I tried avoiding you. I thought that if I did, maybe I'd come to my senses. I didn't."

"Sometimes that can be a good thing, though," Fred said. "Ignoring what one is supposed to do and just go with their feelings."

Hermione chuckled. "You never were one to do what you're supposed to do, were you?"

Fred smiled. "'Course not. I wouldn't be me if I did."

She watched him thoughtfully. "Except when it comes down to it, you don't ignore your responsibilities."

"Shh!" Fred glanced around the room. "If anyone heard you say that, I'd never hear the end of it." He turned to her. "Besides, you're crazy. I have no sense of responsibility."

Hermione laughed. "You fight demons, don't you? Even your other self took responsibility and fought in the end."

Fred frowned. "I fight because someone has to. But you will not be following me on any more missions."

"I can take care of myself," Hermione stated.

"That's not the point," Fred replied. "I don't like the fact that George goes out on missions, but he has a sixth sense and can use his Reiki to defend himself. And he really kicked some arse as a disembodied spirit, but that's beside the point. Magic doesn't affect demons the same ways it does humans, and that's all you have against them."

"That doesn't mean magic isn't useful at all against demons," Hermione said. "One just has to be imaginative over how one uses magic, like you sending the tires flying or me transfiguring tires into a bow and arrow."

"Where'd you learn how to use a bow and arrow, anyway?" Fred asked.

She smiled. "When I was younger, there was a resort I would go to with my parents. There was an archery range there, and I'd decided to give it a try. When I was ten, they had a junior archery competition, and I took second place." She paused. "And like it or not, I'm not the type to just sit back and let others do all the fighting. You forget that I accompanied Harry on a very dangerous mission. I know that demons exist now, and even though I may not be on the same level of you or George, if there's anything at all I can do to help, I'll do it. So you're just going to have to accept that I'll be fighting with you guys occasionally."

Fred frowned deeply. "It's too dangerous!"

Hermione shrugged. "I'm fully aware of the dangers. But I refuse to let you go out there alone and possibly get yourself killed."

Fred wanted to argue that if she went out there, she probably would get herself killed. However, he knew that once Hermione made up her mind, it was almost impossible to get her to change her mind. Arguing with her about it would be pointless, and it wasn't as if he couldn't find some way to stop her from getting involved. He didn't know what he would do just yet, but he would think of something.

"Just be careful," Fred said. "And improve your aim. That bloody hurt, you know."

Hermione smiled. "Yeah, but you were healed," she said, poking him in the shoulder where the wound had been.

"Ow!" Fred called out, grimacing in pain.

Hermione immediately pulled her hand back, eyes wide. "I thought you were healed before you were rejoined?"

"Not completely," he said, placing a hand over his injury.

"Let me see," Hermione said, trying to move his hand.

Fred shook his head. "You can't see it through the fabric of my shirt."

"Take it off," Hermione ordered, pulling on the bottom of Fred's t-shirt.

Fred moved his hand to allow the shirt's removal, although he wasn't about to make it easy on her. If she wanted his shirt off, she'd have to remove it herself. He smirked at her, making it quite clear that's what she'd have to do.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're just being difficult, now."

"Difficult's my middle name," Fred retorted, smiling. "And I don't recall you being a trained Healer in any way, so if you want to see the wound you so callously inflicted upon my body, I'm not about to make it easy on you."

Hermione scoffed as she pulled his shirt over his head. "Whatever you say." She trailed a finger around where his injury had been. "It doesn't look too bad. In a couple of days, you should be back to normal."

"With me, there's no such thing as normal," Fred said, watching her.

She met his gaze. "No, I suppose there isn't."

He smiled. "Normal people don't come back from the dead."

"Normal people think before they act," Hermione said.

"Normal people don't fight creatures that aren't supposed to exist," Fred said.

Hermione lightly trailed her finger along Fred's shoulder. "Normal people aren't you." Before Fred realized what was happening, Hermione had leaned toward him on the couch and placed her lips against his.

He placed an arm around her, drawing her closer as he kissed her back. Being normal was completely overrated, he thought.


	13. 13 Bridge to a New Beginning

**Chapter 13**: Bridge to a New Beginning  
[_July 3-10, 1998_]

--- --- ---

As July began, Fred was perplexed to receive a letter from Hogwarts stating that those who did not have the opportunity to take their NEWTs the previous term would be able to do so in the first week of August at the Ministry of Magic. He was baffled as to why he would receive such a letter, even though the Daily Prophet had stated the fifth and seventh years that did not have the opportunity to take their OWLs and NEWTs due to the battle against Voldemort would be able to do so over the summer.

"Did you know that we're the first students to drop out of Hogwarts in over a century? There've been students who flunked out, or got expelled, or didn't graduate for whatever reason, but we're the first to actually drop out in over a century," George said as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. "I expect that we'll be in the history books, we will."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Why do you think we're getting invited to take our NEWTs?"

George smirked. "Because then we won't be drop-outs, we'll be graduates." He reached for the letter he had received and crumpled it up. "I'm not doing it. I fail to see a single compelling reason to do so."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "You can't get your degree in magical business law without any NEWTs," he pointed out.

During their time running a business, they found themselves facing a few roadblocks when it came to expanding their business. While they had previously considered purchasing Zonko's and opening a shop in Hogsmeade, they were unable to do so due to some obnoxious red tape and irksome antitrust laws that Fred was sure didn't apply in their case, but couldn't prove. After asking around, they'd found that owning a business went much smoother if one had a degree in running a magical business, but that one needed to have completed their schooling to take part in the six week course required at the Ministry of Magic to get the degree.

George swore and uncrumpled his letter. "We finished our compulsory education. We got our OWLs. That should be good enough for those ponces in the Ministry to let us take the course." He shoved a heaping spoonful of cereal into his mouth and said something unintelligible.

"Honestly, you're just as bad as Ron. Swallow your food before you talk," Hermione chided as she entered the kitchen and sat down next to Fred.

George coughed and reached for his glass of orange juice. After swallowing his food and juice, he stared at her, eyes wide. "Did you spend the night?"

Hermione paused. "Of course not," she lied, pouring herself a glass of juice. "I just came in early."

George gave her a disbelieving look. "Today's your day off. So was yesterday, for that matter." He glanced to Fred and smirked. "Anything you want to tell me, twin of mine?"

Fred looked down at his plate, feeling his face growing hot. It had been two weeks since he and Hermione had their first date. Since then they had worked things out. Even though they had initially decided to try to take things slow and not go as far as they had after their first date, they gave up on that after deciding it was better to just go with wherever the mood would take them. Hermione had spent the night with him the previous night.

George chuckled at the silence. "I hope you're not using the ChildProof brand of contraceptive potion," he said to Hermione. "It's been recalled due to severe side effects."

Hermione froze. "Potion? What potion?"

Fred's eyes widened and he turned to Hermione. "I thought you were on a potion!"

Hermione shook her head. "I thought you were casting a charm!"

George cracked up laughing. "The apothecary down the street sells morning after potions if you need one, Granger."

Hermione glared at him and stood up. "Shut up, George," she said, blushing as she headed off towards the door.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Fred offered.

Hermione shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. I'd rather not be seen there buying a morning after potion by someone I know, but if we were seen there together it might make matters even worse."

Fred couldn't argue with that logic. Few people knew that they were anything more than friends, and they figured it was probably better that way. What they did wasn't anyone else's business, and neither one of them really cared to explain things to anyone. They especially didn't fancy Ron's reaction to the news that they were together. While Ron had no actual romantic feelings for Hermione (aside from the immature stance that 'everyone expected us to get together, so maybe we should'), Ron could be rather protective of Hermione. So was her other best friend Harry, who was almost done with his fourth week of Auror training. Harry was more likely to take things in stride, though.

Since Fred and Hermione both realized that Ron could be a bit of a prat, they'd decided it was better to gently break the news that they were seeing one another to him first. They would have done so already if it weren't for the fact that Ron wasn't too happy with Fred (or George) at the moment for cutting his hours. After Ron showed up to work Tuesday over an hour late, and disappeared half an hour before he was scheduled to leave, Fred decided that enough was enough and reduced Ron's hours. Ron also bore the distinction of being the only employee who actually had to clock in and out every time he went on break or lunch. Normally the twins would just have an employee clock in when they got to work, and clock out when they left for the day.

Fred nodded. "I've heard Planet V is a good brand of morning after potion."

Hermione gave him a funny look. "You mean 'Plan B'? The Muggle morning after pill?"

He shook his head. "The names might be similar, but it's a potion."

George nodded. "Verity said it tastes like fruit punch."

Fred glared at his twin. "That would be before she had a fiancé, right?"

George frowned. "Of course it was!" He grumbled something under his breath and stabbed his cereal with his spoon.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You know, George, with what I've heard about you, I find it a miracle that you don't have any illegitimate children toddling about."

George glared up at her. "I always make sure to use a charm every single time I sleep with someone, whether they're on a potion or not. There was one time with Verity that I forgot to do so, which was why she took a morning after potion."

Hermione shook her head and left the kitchen.

"Magic doesn't affect demons like it does humans," Fred said before taking a bite of his toast.

George turned to him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Fred smirked. "Well, the charm wouldn't quite work on Tracy, would it?"

George gave him a flat look. "That was almost three years ago. I didn't see her taking care of any toddlers, did you?"

Fred chuckled. "I'm just saying." He turned back to his breakfast.

He had no idea what the status of George's 'relationships' with Karin and Tracy were, and he honestly couldn't care less. Since the girls' confrontation in the twins' flat, Karin had adopted a strictly professional demeanor with the twins, and made it clear that whatever she and George might have been doing was over. She had moved out of their flat not long after returning from the Underworld. Fred had no idea where she was staying now, but he suspected she was staying at Tracy's house, as Tracy was supposedly under a form of probation by the Underworld for her involvement in stealing the three relics.

There hadn't been too many missions since then, unless small 'training missions' counted. They had been sent to arrest a young teenaged demon who was shoplifting comics from a local bookstore, and to arrest a demon buying alcohol to minors. Their most annoying mission, though, involved arresting a demon who was exposing himself to blind people. Fred personally thought that the Muggle authorities could have made all of those arrests, and that Karin was just having them go on petty missions like that to be obnoxious. True, they needed to test out the Spirit Cuffs they'd been given that would transport an arrested demon to the Underworld for booking, but he still felt it was some sort of revenge on them for George acting like a cad.

George glanced at his watch and swore. "I'm late," he muttered as he downed some juice and stood up. "You might want to hope that Hermione's not late," he added with a smirk as he grabbed a bagel and left the kitchen.

Fred made a rude hand gesture at his brother as he re-read the letter he'd received. While he was grateful for being given the chance to actually graduate, he still liked the idea of going down in the history books as the first student to drop out of Hogwarts in over a century. While having a degree in magical business law might make things easier, he found it to be largely unnecessary. He and George had done a lot of research into running a business, and they didn't need any degree to tell people that they knew what they were doing.

Crumpling his letter, he tossed it into the garbage can by the sink. He frowned as it bounced off the edge and landed on the floor.

--- --- ---

Fred walked with Hermione to the archery range where she was practicing her aim. He still wasn't happy at her decision to escort them on missions, but was somewhat relieved that she was at least working on her fighting skills. Karin had even given Hermione a bracelet that would let her summon an item from some unknown hiding place into her hand. Karin called it 'hammer space', claiming that it was a fan term that watchers of Japanese animation had dubbed the mysterious air around female characters that they pulled objects like mallets from to hit male characters with. Fred didn't care what the thin air was called, but figured it was the same space where Karin hid objects like her oar in.

Hermione's bracelet looked like a simple blue wristband with a yellow gem of some sort on top of it. The gem itself had some arcane symbol inside of it. When activated, Hermione's Band-Aid (which Fred thought was a stupid name for the bracelet) would summon a bow into her hand, and a quiver of arrows onto her back.

"I don't know what George was talking about," Hermione said as they turned the corner. "The potion did not taste like fruit punch. It tasted like cough syrup."

Fred shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I've never tasted it, but it might taste different to every person. Some potions are like that." He glanced to her. "You're, er, not late or anything, are you?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm not going to worry about it."

Fred felt rather relieved to hear that. "Are you going to take your NEWTs, or are you heading back to school in September?" he asked as they passed a clothing boutique.

Hermione was silent for a while. "I haven't decided yet, actually. I'm thinking of entering the Ministry of Magic and entering the Department for Regulation of Magical Creatures. I want to try to promote SPEW and improve the lives of house elves."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "I heard you didn't take NEWT-level Care of Magical Creatures, though. You need a NEWT in that to get into that department, you know."

Hermione shrugged. "They're letting people take NEWTs in any subject they want, not just those subjects they'd taken in school."

Fred chuckled. "If George takes his NEWTs, I'm sure he'd get an Outstanding in Divination. His sixth sense is getting stronger with each mission."

She glanced to him. "I thought you didn't believe in Divination."

"I don't," Fred said as they approached the entrance to the archery range. "But I think he'd be able to fake his way to an Outstanding. He did, after all, predict there would be a fire at the Burrow last week."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, but that only happened because Ron was stupid enough to light a firecracker indoors to try to compel Charlie out of the bathroom. And it didn't damage anything except the wastebasket he'd tossed it into after he got caught."

Fred smiled. "Fire is fire." He opened the door for her. "We've actually started a betting pool on who successfully does something to get Charlie to stop hogging the bathroom first. The current favorite is Percy hexing certain body parts of Charlie's off. You can't bet on yourself, but do you want to place a bet?"

Hermione gave him a look as she walked inside. "Who's been betting that Percy will hex Charlie's balls off?"

Fred smirked as he followed her inside. "Not those parts, gutter-mind. And I cannot disclose who's been betting what on who."

Hermione showed the clerk at the front desk her pass, and was handed a quiver of practice arrows and waved off to head back to the practice range. They walked through heavy double doors and down a hall to the range. "If I had to bet on who successfully was able to get Charlie to stop hogging the bathroom, I'd have to bet on your mother threatening to kick him out if he doesn't show more consideration for those around him."

Fred laughed. "Mum would never kick any of us out. Not a week goes by that me and George don't receive an owl from her asking us to come back."

"That's because she wants someone to de-gnome the garden properly," Hermione said. "Ron and Harry are having a bit too much fun with it, I think. Especially Harry, who's started quoting Muggle movies when doing so. Just the other day he was aiming his wand at the gnomes, referring to it as his 'boomstick', and calling the gnomes 'primitive screwheads'."

Fred gave her an odd look as she glanced around the empty range and summoned her bow into her hand. "Right… Auror training is getting to him, isn't it?"

Hermione shrugged. "That, and he brought in a TV and VCR and set it up in Ron's room. They spend far too much time watching movies in there. Your dad had to take a dreamless sleep potion for a week after he joined them in watching the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. I don't think Harry helped much when he told your dad that it was based off a true story. I wouldn't be surprised if your mum starts hinting that Harry and Ron move out."

Fred tilted his head. "I thought Harry already did."

Hermione shook her head and loaded one of the practice arrows, aiming at the target. "He thought about it, but decided not to. He stays at Grimmauld Place on the weekends he has Teddy, but still lives at the Burrow." She released the arrow, letting it fly to the target. It landed in the circle just outside the bulls-eye. "He's getting time off his Auror training to take his NEWTs, although I doubt he'll get many if he doesn't start studying for them."

Fred shrugged. "Speaking of which, I need to know if you're taking them or not."

Hermione frowned and loaded another practice arrow. "I told you. I haven't decided yet."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I need to know who is and who isn't so I can figure out the work schedule for that week."

Hermione's second arrow hit the target slightly off-center. "I doubt that Ron is going to. I heard him saying something about flipping a coin, as he asked Ginny if she had one. You should ask him next time you see him."

"I did," he replied. "He just gave a really vague answer." He paused. "And he's not too happy with me after I cut his hours on Tuesday."

"What did he do?" Hermione asked as she fired a third arrow.

"He came in late, took no fewer than five breaks that I'm aware of, and left early. I warned him about it before," Fred said. "If he wants to be there only part of the time, he can have the hours of a part timer. He's putting too much of a strain on the rest of us. Verity's had to come in on her days off just to pick up his slack."

Hermione made a face. "You need to hire more employees."

Fred nodded. "We're taking an advert out in the Daily Prophet next week. We haven't decided on the exact number of employees, or whether they'd be full time or part time. George is going to re-do the work schedules tonight. Sundays are our slowest day, and we've got three people working there all day. Right now, George is the only one manning the shop until noon."

Hermione's next arrow hit dead-center. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Fred replied. "Friday morning has only George scheduled to work. You should know that you and him are the openers, just like Verity and Ron are the closers. I'm just more of a floater, taking whatever shift needs me. Like Mondays, I open _and _close."

Hermione remained silent as she fired her next arrow, which landed a few circles off from the bulls-eye. "Dammit," she cursed. She glanced to Fred. "If I might make a suggestion, when he figures out everyone's schedules, he should figure out the full time employees' schedules first, and then schedule in the part timers around those schedules. I'm willing to work ten hour workdays if I have to."

Fred nodded. "Yes, but then that would leave the problem of you working only four days a week instead of five. We're trying to minimize overhead by rearranging the schedules."

Hermione turned back to face the target. "Well, whatever you guys figure out, let me know. And if at all possible, let me have weekdays off. The range here is closed on weekends." She loaded another arrow. "And if possible, have at least one of my days off be the same as one of yours. Aside from that, I don't care whether I work opening or closing." She fired the arrow. "Why are we talking shop?"

Fred smirked. "You started it."

Hermione gave him a weird look. "No, I didn't. You brought it up after you asked me if I was taking the NEWTs in August or not."

"Sure you did," Fred replied. "You brought them up in the first place by mentioning Harry taking time off Auror training to take them."

"Oh ho," Hermione said dryly. "But you first asked about them outside."

Fred nodded. "Yes, but that had nothing to do with business, and everything to do with who might hex off Charlie's balls."

Hermione shook her head, chuckling. "Sometimes I don't think I want to know how your mind works."

Fred nodded sagely. "Probably not. Most of the time even _I _don't want to know how my mind works."

Hermione's next arrow hit the target in the center, a small fraction of an inch away from her previous arrow that hit dead-center.

--- --- ---

Fred couldn't care less that Ron wasn't too happy with the new work schedule. After hearing his younger brother's tirade about it for the fifth time on Tuesday evening, Fred threatened to tell their mother where Ron's collection of dirty magazines was hidden. After the sixth time Ron opened his mouth, he threatened that he would not only tell their mother where Ron's collection was, but he would make sure she found some gay erotica in the collection. Ron wisely kept his mouth shut after that.

Fred rather liked the new schedules himself, as not only did he share Fridays off with Hermione, he got to work with her on Mondays and Wednesdays. Granted, George would also be there on Mondays, but that didn't matter.

Throughout the week, they had taken applications and interviewed prospective new employees. Many of the questions they asked were simply thrown in for amusement value, and were designed to put the applicant at ease. They felt that anybody who took an obviously trivial question like 'who would win in a fight: giants or trolls' seriously was not cut out to work for them. By the end of the week, they had hired one full-time employee, and two part-time employees. Fred hoped that they would be able to hire more the next week.

As Fred and Hermione left Fred's room on Friday morning in search of breakfast, they became immediately aware of an argument occurring in the living room between George and Karin.

"You were the one who came on to me!" George contended. "You knew I wasn't looking to enter a relationship, and wasn't going to make any promises, and you still decided to fool around with me!"

Fred sighed and turned to Hermione. "Shall we just go back to bed until this blows over?"

Hermione shook her head. "I doubt Karin would come here without a good reason. And I am a bit hungry."

Fred frowned. He was afraid she'd say something like that.

"All the same, if you're going to 'fool around' with a girl, you can at least have the decency to fool around with just one girl at a time!" Karin shouted back at George.

"I never got to the point of doing anything with Tracy! And what part of 'you're not my girlfriend, so have no right to get jealous' don't you get?" George fired back.

"Oi!" Fred shouted, getting their attention. "Take your spat somewhere else." He turned to Hermione. "What do you want for breakfast before we head out?"

Before Hermione could answer, Karin said, "Lord Koenma has arranged for the two of you to undergo formal training. There's a Reiki master--"

"Pass," Fred said, waving her off.

Karin frowned. "Well… If you don't want to do that, there's an excremental demon that needs to be dealt with. You weren't going to be put on that case, but--"

"A what demon?" George asked, giving her a funny look.

Karin glanced at him in annoyance. "A demon made of fecal matter."

Fred made a face. "You mean there's demons out there made out of shit?" Hermione smacked him on the chest and he turned to her. "What?"

"Language," Hermione chided.

George snickered. "She's got you whipped good, doesn't she?"

Fred raised an eyebrow as Hermione glared at George. "We tried that once," Fred said. "It's a bit overrated. Ow!" He twisted his body to try to fend off Hermione's attack.

George laughed. "I hope that you're casting a charm this time."

Hermione smacked Fred one last time. "I'm also on a potion now, although I'm not too pleased with how it messed up my cycle."

Karin cleared her throat. "Getting back on track, you guys have the choice of undergoing formal training, or dealing with a fecal demon as well as whatever other petty missions Lord Koenma decides to toss your way."

"Training," both Fred and George said in unison.

"Now if you'll excuse us," Fred said, "I'm going to fix Hermione and me some breakfast. You two better keep it down. And you know the routine, Karin. Leave me alone on Fridays."

Karin waved him off. "Right, right."

Fred walked with Hermione into the kitchen. "We don't have much right now," he said. "We need to get food tomorrow." He opened the door to the fridge. "We've got cereal, leftovers of some kind, eggs--"

Hermione made a face as she sat down at the table. "Ugh. No eggs." At Fred's questioning look, she explained, "I don't know why, but even the smell of eggs makes me feel queasy. I'm probably just tired of eating them so often."

Fred shrugged. "Cereal seems to be the safe choice, then." He grabbed the carton of milk out of the fridge and set it down on the counter before gathering bowls, spoons, and boxes of cereal. "Have you ever mixed a bunch of different cereals together to find out what it tasted like?"

"Please don't," Hermione said as she rested her head down on top of her arms.

He glanced back at her. "Tired?" he asked with a smirk.

"A bit," she said. "Between studying and working ten hour shifts, I think I don't get enough sleep." She glanced up at him. "Tell me again why we're up when it's not even eight in the morning yet?"

Fred smiled. "Because if we'd slept in, we would have missed hearing George and Karin argue in the living room about things that aren't any of our business. And getting up early was your idea." He set the cereal box he was holding onto the counter and walked over to her. "If you're tired, head back to bed. I can bring your breakfast there. I trust you not to get it everywhere."

Hermione smiled. "I'll be fine." She picked her head up. "I'm awake, see?" she flashed him a fake smile that wasn't too convincing.

"Hmm." Fred turned back to the counter to pour the bowls of cereal. "So what are you telling people who ask where you go to overnight?" He knew that someone was bound to notice that she slept somewhere other than the Burrow some nights.

"I initially thought of telling anyone who asked that I was at a friend's house," Hermione said. "Then I realized that if anyone asked me the name of my friend, I had nothing. So I just tell them that I'm doing some extra work for you guys here. That way, if someone decides to visit you for whatever reason and I'm here, it won't be so suspicious."

Fred chuckled as he brought the cereal bowls to the table. "Extra work. I like that."

As they ate their cereal, Hermione said, "I want to learn how to use Reiki. Do you think you could teach me?"

Fred paused in thought. Even though Hermione's aim had improved, he still didn't like the idea of her going out on any missions with them. It was far too dangerous, especially for someone who couldn't see demons for what they were. He didn't like the idea of her putting herself in harm's way just because she didn't want to stay on the sidelines, although he had to admit he would be a little more at ease about her insistence on joining them if she knew how to use Reiki.

"I don't know if I can teach you," he said slowly. "I'll try, though. But I still don't want you fighting demons."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she shoveled some cereal onto her spoon. "I already told you I'm not just going to stay behind and worry."

"I can teach you how to use Reiki to heal," Karin said as she entered the kitchen. She ignored the glare that Fred sent her way. "He is right about how it would be better for you not to be on the front lines. You can't see demons for what they really are, which would put you at a disadvantage. And you're not a fighter."

"I'm not a fighter, either," Fred said flatly.

Karin smiled at him. "Once you're done with training, you will be. Master Tesen has developed several Reiki techniques, and used to be quite the martial artist in his day. He can teach you how to use your Reiki more efficiently, as well as how to fight."

Fred frowned. "Didn't I say not to bother me today?"

Karin waved him off. "His ways might seem a bit odd--"

"Are you even listening to me?" Fred asked.

Karin continued as though she hadn't been interrupted. "--But I'm sure that once he's done with you, both you and George will be that much stronger for it. There's just one small problem…"

Fred narrowed his eyes. "Yeah. You're not listening to me. Talk to me about this tomorrow." He turned back to his bowl of cereal.

Karin shrugged. "You'll be leaving tomorrow morning, and I'm sure that you'd rather have time to make arrangements for someone to cover you here at work for the next two weeks."

Fred's eye twitched. "Two weeks? And you couldn't have told us this sooner?"

"I didn't find out about it until this morning," Karin said.

Hermione looked over at the ferry girl. "So where is he going to?"

Karin made a thoughtful face, placing a finger to her lips. "Well, I'm not sure of the name of the nearest town, but Master Tesen has a nice secluded little temple and a huge property. The terrain is just perfect for training."

Fred's eyes narrowed. "Where is it?"

Karin continued as if she didn't hear him. "There's also a magical community not _too _far away, although I'd recommend staying away from it. Your immediate predecessor lives in that area, and it wouldn't be a good idea if the two of you were to meet." She scoffed and shook her head. "Leveling a city block just to get to one demon…"

"Um, Karin?" Hermione called out, getting the ranting ferry girl's attention. "Where is it you're sending Fred?"

"As I said, I forget what the name of the town is," Karin said. "It's in Oregon, though. I forget whether there's a seven or eight hour time zone difference." She rolled her eyes. "Eight, I think…"

Fred blinked. "Oregon? Where the hell is that?"

Karin smiled. "The Pacific Northwest. I'd recommend bringing an umbrella just in case, because it rains there a lot. Although since it's summer, you should be fine if you don't."

"You're sending them to America?" Hermione asked.

Karin nodded. "For two weeks. During that time, I'll teach you how to use Reiki to heal."

Fred frowned. "Why are you sending us there? Isn't there someone closer?"

Karin paused. "Not really. There aren't too many Reiki masters in the world. There was one in Japan, but she recently passed on, so that doesn't help you much. That, and the language barrier might have been difficult to get around. Master Tesen is of Japanese descent, although speaks English fluently and has taken residence in America. He's also fully aware of the existence of magic, as he trained your immediate predecessor who was a witch." She paused. "I swear that she better stay away from the temple while you guys are there. The property damage would be astronomical…"

Fred made a thoughtful face. "What do you mean by 'immediate predecessor'?"

Karin blinked, startled out of her reverie. "Oh, um… There are Underworld detectives stationed all over the world, depending on where one is needed. Japan and America have both had detectives in the past. By immediate predecessor, I mean just the last Underworld detective before you. I suppose I should use a less confusing term, since you actually have a counterpart in Japan right now."

Fred blinked. "I do?"

Karin nodded. "Japan often has problems with troublesome demons. Well, they're called Yokai there, but you don't need to concern yourself with that. Most Underworld detectives -- or Reikai Tantei as they're called there -- were stationed in Japan. The first Underworld detective was based in Japan, as well as the most prominent ones. Like there was one who opened a portal to the demon plane, and one who turned out to be a demon himself, and--"

"Demon plane?" Hermione repeated.

Karin looked at her and chuckled nervously, waving a hand in front of herself in dismissal. "Well, I should be off now. I've got business to take care of, and you've got arrangements to make. You'll be leaving tomorrow at two in the morning."

Fred stood up. "Two in the morning?!"

Karin backed towards the doorway. "Seven or eight hour time difference, remember? You'll get there either at seven in the evening, or six. It's better than showing up in the middle of the night, especially since Master Tesen will want you up at the crack of dawn to begin your training." She waved at them and smiled. "Bye now…"

Fred frowned. "Don't just 'bye now' me! You can't just-- Get back here!" He growled as Karin had summoned her oar and disappeared. He huffed and sat back down. "Dammit…"

Hermione patted his arm sympathetically. "It won't be that bad. Sure, it's rather sudden, but think of it as a learning experience. You'll have the opportunity to learn interesting new things, and visit a completely different magical culture."

Fred glanced at her and smiled weakly. "I don't think their culture can be that different than ours, and I doubt that we'll be given time off to go exploring. And that's not even mentioning how the shop will run while we're gone. We can't afford to close shop for two weeks during the busy school shopping season."

Hermione smiled. "Verity and I will take care of things. We'll get the new hires trained and make sure things run smoothly. Even though you cut his hours for a reason, I'll get Ron to help out. I'm sure that Karin will help out if asked, and one of your brothers probably would, too."

Fred frowned. "What am I supposed to tell my family? My mum's the only one who knows the truth about this Underworld detective stuff."

"An important business opportunity in America came up, and you and George had to leave on short notice for two weeks," Hermione said. "You guys have been talking about expanding." She paused. "Um, you don't mind if Verity and I interview more prospective employees, do you?"

Fred stared at her for a few moments, and then shook his head. "Verity has final authority on any new hires, and anyone the two of you decide to hire will be part-time only until we get back. And don't put any of them on salary. Hourly wages only."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Is there anyone actually on salary?"

Fred nodded. "Verity is. It was the condition of her coming back, George said. Everyone else is paid by the hour. And if you do let Ron work more hours, make sure he clocks in and out every time he goes on break or lunch or whatever. We're not paying him to do nothing. And don't let him work overtime, either." He paused. "You can work overtime if you want. But don't overwork yourself."

Hermione shrugged. "That's not important to me." She paused. "Since Sundays are so slow, do you think it might be better if Verity and I just don't open that day?"

"Do whatever the two of you feel is best," Fred said. "In the beginning, when it was just George and me, we found ourselves closing early or opening late or even not opening at all some days because of how exhausted we were. The shop is scheduled to be open seventy-seven hours in any given week. Closing Sunday brings that down to sixty-nine--" He paused and snickered. "Sixty-nine…"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "We'll probably close early and open late by two hours during the week. That'll bring the hours there down from twelve to eight. And Saturday we'll close an hour earlier."

Fred nodded. "That'll work. It'll bring the hours down to forty-eight, which is much more manageable. Just put a sign on front stating the new hours." He stood up. "Now what is it you had planned for our date today?"

Hermione smiled and stood, taking his hand in hers. "It's a surprise," she said, smirking.


	14. 14 Training Daze

**Chapter 14**: Training Daze  
[_July 11-23, 1998]_

--- --- ---

Fred would have cursed Karin's name for forcing him and George to get up at two in the morning for training, but he was far too tired to bother. He supposed he could have taken a potion to stay awake, but didn't feel like it. George was in slightly better shape than Fred was, but that was mainly because he had not engaged in certain activities that Fred had with Hermione.

Sending an owl to Hermione wasn't possible under the circumstances, nor was talking to her over the Floo network. The temple where they would be staying was not equipped with an fireplace connected to the Floo network, and the distance was too great to send an owl. By the time the owl arrived, it would be time for Fred and George to return. Karin said that if Master Tesen allowed him to do so, Fred could call Hermione over the telephone. Fred thought that was easier said than done, because he knew that Hermione lived at the Burrow, which had no such device, and neither did the joke shop.

Fred would normally have questioned where Karin got a portkey from, but was too tired to care. The trip itself was highly disorienting, even though it didn't take very long. It was just bizarre for the sky to have been pitch black one minute, and sunny out the next. Once they had arrived, he muttered a string of curse words at the sight of stairs that led far out of sight up a mountain. The stairs were lined by a thick forest. Glancing behind him, Fred saw that they were just inside a gate. A sign was posted by the gate stating 'Trespassers Beware'.

He glanced to George. "Do you think we should have brought our brooms?" he asked as he hitched up his rucksack on his shoulder.

George shrugged. "Do you want to try to Apparate up there?" he asked, looking as far ahead of them as he could.

Fred did want to Apparate, but when he tried, it felt like he'd walked into a wall. He cursed. "There's wards to prevent us from doing so," he said.

He and George both knew perfectly well that a person could not Apparate on Hogwarts grounds, but that hadn't stopped them from trying to see just what would happen if they tried. The sensation then felt just like it did when he tried to Apparate up the steps: like walking into a wall. He supposed it could have been worse.

Fred cursed under his breath again. "I guess we've got to climb the steps."

George groaned, slinging his own rucksack over his shoulder.

Fred had no idea how much time it took for them to climb the endless stairs, but they finally made it to the top, reaching another gate. He followed George as his twin opened the gate, walking inside to a huge courtyard.

Fred had been told that the place was big, but he hadn't realized just how big everything was. The courtyard looked like it could easily contain hundreds of people, and the building of the temple itself looked like it could sleep the entire student population of Hogwarts.

Sitting on the steps that led to the entrance of the temple was a bald old man who wore sunglasses, Bermuda shorts, and a Hawaiian shirt. He was reading a magazine that had a scantily clad model on the cover and drinking something out of a can labeled 'Budweiser'. On the ground next to him was a short walking stick. He looked over at them as they approached. "Why did you take the thousand step climb?" he asked.

Fred paused, blinking. He hadn't realized there were a thousand steps, although it certainly felt like it. "How else were we supposed to get up here?"

The old man chuckled and stood up, setting down his magazine and picking up his walking stick. "There's a road that leads from here to the bottom. If you'd rung the bell down by the gate, I could have driven down there to pick you guys up." He pointed in one direction of the courtyard, where a car was parked.

Fred's jaw dropped.

--- --- ---

After the old man had introduced himself as Master Tesen, he introduced his walking stick as the 'stupid stick'. He let them know that anytime either of them was acting particularly stupid, it would be rapped over their heads. George was the first to be hit with the 'stupid stick' after asking Master Tesen if he could call him 'Muten Roshi'.

They were shown around the temple, where they put their rucksacks into the rooms they would be staying in. "Your daily training regimen will start at seven sharp each morning, so I would suggest getting ready for the day before then," Master Tesen said as he led them down the hall.

"We're not going to have to climb those steps again, are we?" George asked.

Master Tesen paused, and then smiled. "Actually, that sounds like a good idea for a warm up exercise." Fred glared at his twin. The old man continued. "You'll also be wearing bands like these on your wrists and ankles." He held up his wrists, where he wore two black wristbands. "I'll start you off at twenty-five pounds each, and we'll see how far you progress by the end of these two weeks."

"We'll be carrying around a hundred extra pounds?" Fred asked.

"For starters," was the reply. "It will help you build your physical strength as well as your Reiki. For now, let's test you to see where your spirit levels rank."

They followed him through the halls of the temple, entering through a pair of double doors into another room.

"This is the arcade," Master Tesen said, showing them into a room that was full of machines. "I got the idea from a fellow Reiki master. I don't know if you're familiar with the game rock-paper-scissors, but there's a machine that tests your sixth sense based off how well you do at it." He led them to the machine.

Fred knew that George would do well at that game. When they were younger, George always won whenever they played that game against one another to determine who would play what role in a prank if there was any disagreement. That was also probably why Fred was caught more often than George was whenever they were caught.

"The punching machine," Master Tesen said, leading them to a new machine, "tests your spiritual strength. It has nothing to do with physical strength, and everything to do with how much spiritual power you possess. The last machine is karaoke."

"You don't want Fred to sing," George said. "His singing sounds like the dying wail of something dying. Possibly a dying whale."

Fred frowned. "It does not!"

George glanced to him. "I may have only one ear, but at least I'm not tone-deaf."

Master Tesen chuckled in amusement. "It doesn't matter how good a person's singing voice is on this karaoke machine. It tests one's latent energy. The stores of your spirit energy, I guess you could say." As Fred and George just stared at him blankly, he sighed. "Kids today," he muttered. "If you were to use RPG terms, it would be your MP, or mana pool." At their continued blank stares, he shook his head. "Never mind. Let's just see what you're capable of."

Fred wasn't surprised in the least that of the fifteen rounds of rock-paper-scissors that George played, his twin won all fifteen. Fred had only four wins, and eleven losses. He wasn't sure what a good score was for the punching machine, but he had received 144 points, while George received 118 points.

Fred was reminded why he didn't like karaoke. He knew that he couldn't sing, and he didn't like to. He wasn't as bad as Percy was, but he wasn't going to become the lead vocalist of a wizard band. He had no sense of rhythm and would occasionally sing a bit off-key. But he wasn't as bad as George made him out to be.

George, on the other hand, could carry a tune. Fred had never quite figured that out, as George couldn't read musical notes. He supposed it must be an instinctual thing.

After both of them had tied at 85 points on the karaoke machine, Master Tesen wrote their scores down on a clipboard he had picked up from on top of one of the machines in the room. "Impressive for those without formal training," he said. "You'll be even more impressive once I'm done with you."

"What do our scores mean?" George asked.

"Passable scores would be ten out of fifteen wins on rock-paper-scissors," Master Tesen said, "120 points on punching, and 70 points on karaoke." He set the clipboard down. "Let's get you boys weighted up, and then it'll be time to relax."

"I was told there's a magical community nearby," Fred said as they followed the old man out of the arcade. "Would we get a chance to go there sometime?"

"It's not that interesting," Master Tesen said, leading them down the hall once more. "And I don't know what 'nearby' is supposed to mean, but it's a good distance from here. It's bad enough that the nearest town is twenty-five miles away. I'll tell you what, though. If you both reach certain goals -- say if you get 160 points on the punching machine and George gets 130 points, and you both get 100 points on karaoke -- then I'll take you there."

They were led into a large spacious room that had a table against the wall by the door. They were given weighted bands similar to those Master Tesen wore, which they were to wear at all times. Afterwards, the twins retreated to their rooms, thoroughly tired.

--- --- ---

On their first day of training, Fred and George quickly realized that they were in for a long two weeks. At six in the morning, they woke up to raucous hooting and cheering coming from down the hall. Upon investigating, they found Master Tesen kneeling in front of a giant screen television, watching shapely young women in leotards doing aerobics.

"Show me the thighs! The thighs!" Master Tesen called out to the screen. Fred and George decided to leave him in peace as they got showered and dressed for the day.

At seven sharp, Master Tesen had them begin their pre-breakfast training. Much to Fred's chagrin, they were to run down the driveway that led down to the road below the outer perimeter, and then climb up the steps that led back up to the temple. Upon their return, Master Tesen had breakfast almost ready.

"Before you boys sit down," he said as they entered the kitchen. "Did either of you check the mail?"

George blinked. "The mail?"

"There's a mailbox down by the gate," Master Tesen said. "I'm expecting something important."

And so Fred and George were sent back down the driveway to check if there was anything in the mailbox. Fred was none too happy that it hadn't been mentioned that they were supposed to check the mail before they had gone down to the gate the first time, and was especially not happy that George had even brought up climbing the steps as possible training.

"Good, it came!" Master Tesen said as he took the mail from a rather exhausted Fred. The old man placed the envelopes on the table, and held a magazine reverently. "I've been waiting a long time for the special wet bikini edition of 'Busty Girls A Go Go'. You boys eat your breakfast. It might be a bit cold."

Fred nodded as he collapsed into his seat, too tired to talk. It might not be so bad if he didn't have twenty-five pound weights strapped to each limb.

"How far is it from the temple to the gate?" George asked, trying to catch his breath.

"It's about three quarters of a mile one way," Master Tesen said. Glancing up a clock in the kitchen, he frowned. "It's rather pathetic that it took you boys an hour just to go down to the gate and back a couple times. You should be in better shape than that."

Fred wanted to point out that a lot of people could not travel three miles on an empty stomach in that amount of time with an extra hundred pounds strapped to them. But he was too tired and hungry to bother, so just ate his cold breakfast instead.

"You have five minutes to eat before your morning regimen begins," Master Tesen said as he looked at the magazine in his hands, made a hooting laugh, and wandered out of the kitchen.

After breakfast, their next task was to split rounds of wood and pile it up. The only problem was…

"Where's the axes?" George asked, looking around the yard.

Master Tesen chuckled. "You don't need axes when you have Reiki." He picked up a piece of wood and placed it on top of a stump. "All you need to do is focus your Reiki into your hand like this." He held a hand out in front of him. After a moment's pause, he cried out and karate chopped the piece of wood, which split evenly into four quarters. "I don't expect you to quarter the wood, but--"

"We're not that advanced!" Fred protested, eyes wide. "Shouldn't we start with something simpler? Ow!" He held a hand to his head after he was rapped over it with the 'stupid stick'.

"You never learn to swim if you never venture into water any deeper than the kiddie pool," Master Tesen said. "A wizened philosopher named Confusious said that."

"Don't you mean 'Confucius'?" George asked, earning himself a rap over the head.

"I meant what I said," Master Tesen said. "Aren't you boys supposed to be wizards? Then you should know that Confusious was a wizard philosopher that lived in the 12th century. His teachings were believed to be strange, and he was stoned to death a week before his seventieth birthday." He paused. "Although some historians debate whether his death was as a result of having rocks thrown at him, or him overdosing on opium." He shook his head. "That doesn't matter. This is part of your training."

Fred never had paid any attention in History of Magic, so he couldn't claim that the old man was making up the wizard philosopher 'Confusious' because he might have really existed. Still, Fred was pretty sure that there hadn't been 'kiddie pools' around in the 12th century.

By lunchtime, Fred's hand was bloody and sore, although he had successfully managed to split a few pieces into crooked looking halves. George didn't appear to be in much better shape.

After lunch, Fred was relieved to hear that they wouldn't be continuing their wood splitting exercise that day. Unfortunately, they had a much different task ahead of them.

"This forest is full of dangerous creatures," Master Tesen said as he led them behind the temple, where a rope sectioned off a forest from the rest of the grounds. "Several demons call this their home. An ordinary human stands no chance in such a place. And before you ask, magic is completely ineffective."

"Why is that?" George asked. "Karin never did give us a satisfying explanation as to why magic doesn't affect demons like it does humans."

Master Tesen smiled. "Reiki and magic are very similar. Both are forms of spirit energy in use. The reason why a demon is not affected by magic is because they possess such high concentrations of spirit energy that it serves as a cushion between them and whatever piddling little spell you're casting at them."

Fred tilted his head. "Magic is a form of spirit energy?"

The Reiki master smiled. "There are several theories about that. There are records that suggest that magic could once be used by anyone who took the time to study it in ancient times. That's not to say that everyone did so. I'm sure there were many people who let their ability go to waste. As magic evolved, it became more specialized. Not everyone is capable of casting that specialized magic, which is why now you have the difference between Muggles and wizards. Once upon a time, though, both magic and Reiki were fueled by a person's _will_."

Fred frowned as a memory came back to him. "When I was a spirit, Karin told me that there was a type of 'magic' that Muggles could use. She said that they'll use rituals and if their emotions are strong enough, they can actually make stuff happen."

Master Tesen nodded. "That would be a crude instance of spirit energy at work. Whether you want to call it magic or Reiki is entirely up to you. But to answer your previous question, the reason why magic is ineffective here is because of the wards. There are wards that surround the perimeter that ward against magic use on the property. You won't need to use magic while here, though. It would only serve to distract you, and there's no reason to. Wizards always have been rather lazy like that, using magic just because they can for the most menial of things. I've heard of wizards casting spells to brush their teeth, even."

Fred wasn't about to debate how lazy wizards were or not. He didn't know whether Master Tesen had magical ability or not, but from the way he spoke, he seemed to be either a Muggle who knew about the magical world or a Squib. Of course, Fred could be wrong and maybe Master Tesen was a wizard. He supposed it didn't matter.

Whatever the case might be, he and George would be making their way through the dense forest to a giant tree in the center where Master Tesen would be waiting for them. They would be competing to determine not only who got to eat dessert that night, but also who had first choice of 'relaxation exercises'. Fred didn't like the way that sounded, as relaxation to him at this point included just laying down and doing nothing. He had a feeling that they wouldn't be that lucky.

They had two hours to make it to the giant tree. Fred and George tried to stick together at first, but they went in different directions once they reached a fork in the path. Fred hoped that George was having better luck than he was, as he kept running into strange creatures in the forest. There was an odd looking dwarf creature that offered him something that would supposedly get him 'higher than the clouds', a singing flower that wanted to belt out opera songs, and a pair of creepy looking dolls with glowing eyes just sitting by a tree.

Fred fought his way through the web of a giant spider that had the head of a man. The spider-man didn't try to attack or anything, but wanted Fred to spread the message that 'splanchnic' was a fun word. Fred hadn't any idea what the word had meant until he was told it meant 'relating to intestines'. Fred was very glad that he got out of the web and could continue on his way, as he really did not want to hear what all the 'fun uses for human intestines' were.

When he finally reached the giant tree, he saw that George had already arrived, and was playing a game of cards with Master Tesen. George glanced over at him as he approached. "It took you long enough," George said. "I had the choice between meditating and balancing on one finger on top of a spike." He paused and smiled. "Have fun with the spike."

Fred glared at his twin.

After dinner, he had to laugh at the expression on George's face once he realized that meditating wouldn't be as easy as he thought. While Fred had to focus his Reiki to his fingertip and balance on top of a spike, George got to meditate over a bed of hot coals. Neither task was easy or fun, and they'd be switching the next day, but the shocked look on George's face was absolutely priceless.

As they were finally free to go to bed, however, Fred thought that perhaps he'd been a bit hasty in laughing at George, as beds of nails had replaced their somewhat comfortable beds. They would be practicing their Reiki even while they slept.

Over the course of the next two weeks, Fred and George continued their training, which changed on a daily basis. While their pre-breakfast and post-dinner regimen would remain the same, the activities they performed before and after lunch would vary. They would do things like locate a rabbit in a dark room, wash and wax Master Tesen's car (although they weren't sure what purpose that served), dodge a bunch of angry bees while tied to a tree under the hive, finish splitting and piling the firewood, and work on guarding against Reiki attacks.

Towards the end of their stay, they were able to visit the magical community of Portland, Oregon. Fred learned that it was incredibly commericialized there. The shops were concentrated in one large building called a shopping mall, or MagiMall as the local wizards and witches called it. Apparently, there was a lower level that had the more 'interesting' shops and attractions, but the twins weren't allowed down there to find out just what kind of attractions and shops. Much to their chagrin, one had to be twenty-one or older to go down there. It made no sense to Fred, considering that he was twenty and thus of age, but it was explained that what age a person had to be to do what in America could be rather complicated. Still, they decided to take the opportunity to pass out owl order catalogs from their shop to the American wizards and witches they met at the MagiMall. It never hurt to get more business.

Almost two weeks after they had arrived at Master Tesen's temple, they had re-packed their rucksacks and were preparing to leave. Master Tesen had been kind enough to drive them down to the bottom of the mountain, which was where they stood at three in the morning on Thursday, waiting for their portkey to activate and take them back home.

"I am not going to miss sleeping on a bed of nails," George said. Fred just grunted in response. "As soon as we get back," George said, "I'm going straight to bed."

Fred had to agree with that assessment.

--- --- ---

There had to be some sort of law stating that the sky should not be dark one minute, and then bright and sunny the next. Fred groggily walked into his joke shop, wanting nothing more than to go upstairs and get some sleep. Well, first he walked into the door, and then he opened it and walked inside, half-heartedly making a rude hand gesture at George, who had the nerve to laugh at Fred's clumsiness.

"It's about bloody time you guys got back!" Ron exclaimed as they entered the shop.

Fred scowled at him grumpily. "Nice to see you, too. Good night." He walked towards the stairs that led up to the twins' flat.

"Er, Fred?" Hermione walked over to him, stopping him before he got to the stairs. He blinked sleepily and turned to her. "Can I talk to you?" she asked.

He nodded. "Sorry if I act rude. I've been awake for far too long and had an exhausting day of training. I just want to sleep right now."

George chuckled as he passed them. "Don't wear him out too much there, Granger," he said as he walked up the stairs.

Fred glared half-heartedly at his brother, and then turned back to Hermione, who was biting her lip. "Do you mind if we talk upstairs so I can put my stuff down?" he asked, hitching up his rucksack.

Hermione nodded. "It's probably better to talk away from anyone who might try to eavesdrop."

Had Fred been more awake, he would have noticed that Hermione was acting very nervous about something. He never had been very perceptive when tired.

It wasn't until they entered the living room of the twins' flat that Fred realized what day it was. "Don't you have Thursdays off?" he asked.

"With you guys gone, the schedules have been a bit hectic," Hermione said. She bit her lip and glanced to the kitchen door, where George could be heard rummaging through the cupboards. "Er, what I have to talk to you about is kind of private…"

Fred nodded. "My room?" he asked, leading the way.

Once they entered his room, Fred slung the rucksack onto the ground. "Again, I apologize if I'm acting rude." It had just occurred to him that they hadn't properly greeted, so he turned to her and pulled her into a kiss. As they pulled apart, he smiled. "That's as far as things can go for now, I'm afraid. I'm far too exhausted for anything more."

Hermione chuckled, and had Fred been a bit more awake, he would have realized her chuckle sounded forced. "Maybe you should sit down for this."

Fred nodded. "Good idea." They walked over to his bed, sitting down. Well, Fred lay down sideways across the bed, letting his legs dangle over the side. "My eyes may be closed, but I'm listening," he said, closing his eyes.

"You really must be tired," Hermione said, smiling slightly. "Maybe this can wait…"

"No, go ahead," Fred said. "I have a few brain cells still awake, I think."

"I'm not going back to Hogwarts in September," Hermione said. "I'm just going to take my NEWTs."

Fred smiled. "Outstanding. I know you'll pass them all. What changed your mind?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "You know that morning after potion I took? I found out it's not supposed to taste like cough syrup if it works."

"So you got a bad batch?" Fred asked, placing an arm under his head, but not opening his eyes. His bed was so much more comfortable than a bed of nails.

Hermione paused. "I… Do you remember when you asked me if I was late?"

"You're never late for anything," Fred said. "Although I think I've asked you before if Ron was late for work, though."

"Not that kind of late," Hermione said quickly. "Late for something else. Something I should be having every month."

In Fred's tired mind, he had no idea what she was talking about. "Something every month? Like what?"

Hermione sighed with exasperation. "Are you really this obtuse? I know you're tired, but…" She sighed again. "My period, Fred. You asked me if I was late for my period."

Fred vaguely recalled asking her something like that after she'd taken the morning after potion. "I think so. Didn't you say that you weren't?"

Hermione nodded. "Because I wasn't due to start until the next day. Which I didn't."

Fred opened his eyes and glanced over at her. "So when did you start?"

"I didn't," Hermione repeated. "At all."

"That was in the beginning of the month, though…" Fred said, slowly sitting up.

She nodded. "After you guys left, I went to a Healer to find out what was going on. At first I thought I missed my period because I started taking a contraceptive potion, but…" Her voice trailed off.

She had his full attention by that point. Though his body might be exhausted, his mind was fully alert. Fred turned to her. "It's not because of the potion, is it?" he asked, already suspecting the answer.

Hermione shook her head. "I'm pregnant."

Fred was definitely awake now, although he had a difficult time processing any coherent thoughts in his mind. He was pretty sure that Hermione just told him that she was pregnant. She wouldn't joke about something like that, either. Not with such a serious look on her face. So unless his ears were deceiving him, that meant that he was going to be a father.

He leaned closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. He had no idea what to say. A few swear words popped into his mind, but she would probably take it the wrong way if he were to start swearing. Instead, he just said the first semi-coherent thing that popped into his mind. "Marry me."

"What?" She looked at him. "Are you crazy?"

"Possibly," he said as he held her. "So will you?"

"I'm not going to marry you just because you feel obligated to do so," she said.

Fred shook his head slightly. "It's not just a sense of obligation. Since I'm not any good at stringing poetically romantic words together, especially when deprived of sleep, just pretend that I did."

Hermione scoffed. "That's compelling."

"I'd rather our child not grow up an orphan," Fred said. "Is that a bit more compelling? Oh, and insert more romantic tripe here that I'm unable to come up with at this time."

Hermione gave him a disbelieving look. "Why would our child grow up an orphan?"

"Because my mum will murder us both," Fred replied in all seriousness. "If we get married, we might be able to get away with just being maimed. We won't be able to hide this forever. Unless you know how to speak Canadian, in which case we can run off to Canada."

Hermione chuckled. "They speak English in Canada." She paused. "Well, they also speak French there."

"Do you know French?" Fred asked.

"No."

"Then marry me," he said. "I don't know French, either, so our plot to run off to Canada won't work."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Your mother won't kill us. Or maim us."

Fred chuckled humorlessly. "Then you plan to be the one to tell her why she'll have a grandchild born out of wedlock?"

Hermione paused in thought. "Do we have to tell anyone anything?"

"And how would you plan on keeping this a secret?" Fred asked.

Hermione paused. "Too many pie eating contests?"

Fred chuckled. "Nobody would be stupid enough to believe that. Well, maybe Ron." He paused. "No, he probably wouldn't believe it either."

Hermione sighed. "What are we going to do?" she mumbled as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"I told you before. Marry me," Fred said, gently running his hand along her back. "You know I'm not going to leave you alone about it until you agree."

Hermione pulled back from him. "Fred, I don't want to marry you just because you feel obligated to do so. Marriages like that don't last long."

"Tell that to my parents," Fred said. At Hermione's confused look, he smiled. "They were just friends for years until one night when they both had too much to drink. Nine months later, Bill was born. They got married not even two weeks before he was born. They seemed to do just fine, though, and fell in love somewhere along the way. All things considered, we've got a bit of a better start than they did."

Hermione paused. "This is not how I imagined being proposed to."

Fred smiled. "This isn't how I imagined proposing, either. And I'm proposing a lot sooner than I imagined, because I don't have a single sock puppet ready."

Hermione remained silent for a while. "You would propose using sock puppets?" she asked in disbelief.

Fred shrugged. "Or possibly finger puppets." At Hermione's long silence, he gave her an exaggerated pleading look, complete with pouting. "What do you say? Marry me?"

Hermione just stared at him for a few seconds and then started laughing as he stuck out his lower lip. "Fine. I must be completely insane, but I'll do it."

Fred smiled and held her in his arms once more. As silence descended upon them once more, Fred tried to gain his bearings about the situation. He was going to be a father, and he didn't have the first idea of what to do. He would be the first person to admit that he was irresponsible, immature, and far too impulsive at times. It was for those reasons that they were in the situation they were in.

Maybe he could still find a use for sock puppets later.

--- --- ---

"Are you going to move in?" George asked as he sat in the living room of the twins' flat with Fred and Hermione. He had found out about Hermione's pregnancy after she'd had a bout with morning sickness. He had walked by the open door of the bathroom as Fred held back Hermione's hair while she vomited into the toilet.

"I don't know," Hermione replied as she leaned against Fred on the couch. Both of the twins had taken doses of the Stay Awake potion, figuring that it was easier to readjust to the time zone difference by staying awake all day. Fred held her as they sat on the couch. "If I do, we'd have to tell everyone about this first."

"So nobody knows?" Fred asked.

Hermione started to shake her head and then paused. "Well, Karin knows. She went with me to see the Healer. I think that your family might suspect, since I live there, and have had symptoms there."

Fred didn't doubt that at all. He knew that after having seven children, his mother would likely recognize the symptoms of early pregnancy.

Hermione smiled slightly. "I solved the Charlie problem, by the way. Whenever he decides to hog the bathroom, I just knock on the door, and tell him to get out. I think he realizes now that when I say I need the bathroom 'right now', I mean just that. He really didn't like having to clean up the vomit in the hallway the one time he didn't."

Fred raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Then you have successfully done what nobody in the family has ever managed before."

Hermione smiled. "I feel a bit bad, profiting from getting him out of the bathroom, but after seeing how easily I got Charlie out of there a few times, Percy offered to pay me to get him out. And then others started offering as well."

The twins laughed. Fred felt rather proud of her at the moment. "Maybe our kid takes after me."

George smirked. "You better hope not. You remember what right nightmares we were growing up, don't you?"

Fred paused. "Er, Hermione? You were a nice, quiet child, weren't you?"

Hermione chuckled. "No such luck. I was too curious for my own good. I can't count the times that I ended up flooding something or setting something on fire. Not to mention the time when I was nine and hotwired my parents' car because I wanted to teach myself how to drive."

George laughed. "Looks like you're in for it, there. I suppose I won't be much help, either. You know, since I'll be the cool uncle who spoils the little sprog with whatever they want. I wonder how old they'll need to be before I can start teaching them how best to drive their parents nutters."

Fred glared at him half-heartedly before looking back at Hermione. "You stole your parents' car when you were nine? We didn't steal our dad's car until we were fourteen." He paused. "We're not going to own a car, I don't think."

Hermione chuckled. "So how should we tell everyone?"

"Sock puppet theater," Fred said.

"Singing gnomes," George suggested.

Hermione shook her head. "I should have known better than to ask. We're not going to make a production out of it." A wistful look crossed her face. "I really should get my parents from Australia. They have a right to know about this. But…"

Fred remembered overhearing a conversation between her and George about this on the day he came back to life. At the time, Hermione had been debating whether to retrieve her parents and undo the memory modification on them, but decided not to after she realized she didn't have the time to undo the emotional damage to them before she went back to Hogwarts. Except she wasn't going to Hogwarts.

"They're happy in their lives right now," Hermione said. "When you love someone, you just want them to be happy, right?"

Fred just continued to hold her, as he had no idea what to say. He couldn't even imagine what it must be like for her to have to come to such a decision. He preferred not to think such heavy thoughts himself.

George nodded. "Sometimes it's better to just let go, and let those you love be happy. I mean, you could always go after them, but that would destroy their happiness and bring them pain. Maybe it's better this way."

Hermione bit her lip. "I suppose you're right. Now we just have to figure out how to break the news to everyone. No sock puppets or singing gnomes."

"Want me to do it?" George offered.

Hermione glared at him. "No. And if you tell anyone, I will hex you in such a way that you'll never be able to have children."

"No problem," George said, smirking. "Can't say I really want any little versions of me running around. They'd probably take after me too much."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "It wouldn't be just your _ability _removed, _Georgina_," she threatened.

"I won't tell anyone," George said, having paled. "But the two of you need to let everyone in on this really soon. I don't know whether you plan on eloping or having a real wedding, so I can't tell you how soon." He narrowed his eyes at both of them. "You _are _getting married, aren't you? Mum will murder both of you if you don't."

Fred nodded. "I asked her to marry me, yes."

Hermione frowned. "I'm not eloping."

"Hermione, are you sure you want my mother planning our wedding?" Fred asked. "I mean, you saw how she was with Bill and Fleur's wedding. Not to mention that it takes a long time to plan a wedding."

George chuckled. "Mum can get it all planned and ready in no time at all. Of course, if you want to elope, I'm an ordained minister."

Fred gave his twin a funny look. "No, you're not."

George shrugged. "Well, I haven't checked the post to see if I've received my credentials yet, but there's a website that will ordain you for free. I checked it out when Granger lent me her laptop to work on everyone's schedules."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I thought I told you to stay off the internet."

"You never said to stay off the internet. You just told me not to download any porn," George said. "Not like I had to, considering how much porn is already saved on your laptop."

Fred raised an eyebrow as Hermione turned bright red. "You're not officiating," Fred said to George. "But I will let you be in charge of entertainment."

Hermione frowned. "No, you won't."

George smirked. "Don't worry. I'll make sure he's not too hung over on the day of your wedding. Although if he's late, it's because he woke up in a jail cell."

"I meant at the wedding," Fred said.

George paused. "Then I won't let Fred do anything that would get him arrested at your wedding."

Hermione looked at him for a few seconds and then shook her head. "You're both insane," she muttered.


	15. 15 Babysitting Blues

**Chapter 15**: Babysitting Blues  
[_July 25-26, 1998_]

--- --- ---

It wasn't until after Fred and Hermione told his family the news that it finally began to sink in for him. He was going to be a father, and was getting married. If his mother had her way, the wedding would take place next month, although he would have preferred to wait until the winter holidays. He could understand why his mother wanted the wedding to take place in August, as Ginny was going to Hogwarts for her final year in September, and Hermione would be showing by the time the winter holidays came.

"Why did you have to hire Tracy?" George grumbled as he looked to the other side of the shop, where Tracy Davis was waiting on a customer who appeared to be more interested in staring at her breasts than he was in what she was saying.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Because Tracy is really good at bringing in the customers, and she needed to take a second job after her sister found her Gringotts account number."

Fred glanced over to her. After discovering Hermione was pregnant with his child, Fred had insisted that she not do anything even remotely strenuous, so she was regulated to either ringing customers up at the register, or doing boring behind the scenes paperwork that he and George hated to do. "And because you thought it would be funny to see how George deals with her working here part time."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione said, although the tone of her voice made it quite clear that she did.

George frowned. "For your information, Tracy's not the problem. Karin's the problem. But Tracy isn't a witch anymore, so that limits what she can do here to just dealing with the customers like that. And don't we have a dress code here?"

Fred could only assume that George was referring to what Tracy was wearing under her work robes. While all employees were required to wear the magenta robes that made up the "uniform" of their joke shop, what an employee wore underneath didn't matter to them, nor did it matter if an employee wore their robes open or closed. Tracy was wearing a black shirt with a low-cut neckline and a pair of denim shorts under her open robes, showing off plenty of curves and cleavage. There was nothing indecent about what she was wearing, but the way her outfit was worn indicated that she knew it would attract appreciative stares.

"You're just saying that because of the looks she's getting from other blokes," Fred said, smirking knowingly at his twin. "And if we had a dress code, you wouldn't be able to get away with wearing your pajamas under your robes."

George scoffed. "Yeah, but at least I'm covered. She's barely wearing anything at all under her robes. I'll bet anything she's not even wearing a bra under her shirt."

"Why don't you ask her?" Fred asked. "It might be funny to see how she reacts to you asking her that." Glancing over in the direction of Tracy and her customer, he could see them approaching the counter where they stood.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You know, George, you only have yourself to blame for the problems you're having with women. You can't try to get together with one woman when you're with another. Most women take offense to being treated like that."

George frowned. "What I take offense to is having someone try to make a big deal out of nothing. From the very start, I made it clear to Karin that I wasn't looking for anything. I would help her satisfy her curiosity with no strings attached. She was the one who wanted to attach strings, and that wasn't cool."

"Get over yourself," Tracy said as she approached them. Hermione started to ring up the customer's purchases. "I doubt that you could honestly say that you would have been fine with it if the roles were reversed. If her or any other girl you were having a casual fling with had another man on the side, I'm sure you'd be none too happy."

George folded his arms across the chest. "That's completely beside the point."

Hermione gave her a funny look as she handed the customer his change. "You didn't act too opposed of being George's bit on the side."

Tracy shrugged. "First of all, I could tell that whatever he and Karin had going on wasn't serious, as he kept denying his involvement with her. Perhaps I just have fewer scruples than a human would, but that leads me to my second point. A spirit should not hold any claim over someone living, particularly that of someone whose spirit they will one day usher to the Underworld. It is unfair to both parties."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "So what are demons? Are they more like spirits or humans?"

Tracy smiled slightly. "Demons are living and mortal, just like humans. Although it is possible for demons to reduce themselves to a spirit-like form that can allow them to be reincarnated into a human body. Usually when mortally wounded, but that's not always the case."

Hermione frowned. "How can they just take over a human body like that?"

Tracy smiled slightly. "If a body has no soul, a demon in their spirit form can take the body as their own. They can do so before the birth of their host, prior to the time the unborn would develop their human soul, or they can do so after birth. A stillborn child, for example, is one whose soul never developed before birth, so a demon could possess the soulless body. Going that route, however, can be rather traumatizing for the demon. It takes a lot of spirit energy to fuse the demon spirit into the human body, and doing so all at once can make the possessing demon forget who they once were. I possessed my body before birth, which is why I remember my past."

Fred remembered how she had once told him that she had followed rivals to the human realm, and was about to ask her about them when the bell over the door belched. A group of teenaged boys wandered in, and Tracy went over to the group to help them. George frowned as she went over to assist them.

"Maybe we should get some sort of dress code going. I don't like the way they're leering at her," he said.

Fred rolled his eyes. "You were staring at her chest the entire time she was over here talking to us."

George shrugged. "Yeah, but they're kids. They shouldn't be seeing things like that."

Hermione smirked. "It sounds like you're jealous."

Fred chuckled as his twin scoffed and turned away from them in indignation. "I think he fancies her."

"Until she lets him into her bed," Hermione said.

George grunted. "I'm standing right here, you know." He turned back to them. "And for your information, it's not like that at all. I've already slept with her."

"Recently?" Fred asked, raising an eyebrow.

George paused. "Well, no, not recently." He turned to watch Tracy. "I wouldn't mind a repeat performance with her, though."

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Fred. "Should we try to convince your mother to plan the wedding for the winter holidays, or would you rather we have it next month instead?"

Fred paused. "I'd rather wait until the holidays. Doing it next month doesn't give me enough time to prepare. You know, fireworks, choreography, what the drinks will be spiked with--"

"Absolutely not," Hermione said, frowning. "I will not have you playing pranks at our wedding." She paused. "We really are getting married, aren't we?"

Fred nodded. "It's just now starting to sink in for me too. I don't have the slightest idea of how to take care of a child."

"That's what silencing charms are for," George said, not taking his eyes off Tracy.

Hermione glared at him. "You're never babysitting, you know that?"

George rolled his eyes. "That was a joke! And if you're really worried, why don't you offer to help take care of Harry's godson Teddy for a weekend? It might not be the same, but it'll get you used to changing nappies and whatnot. I'm sure Andromeda and Harry would appreciate the help."

Fred made a thoughtful face. George did have a good idea about babysitting Teddy. It would help get them used to taking care of an infant, which was something he had no experience with. He'd been too young (and mischievous) to take care of Ron or Ginny where they were infants. He'd only been three when Ginny was born. That didn't mean that he and George didn't try to help in their own way. He remembered a time when he and George decided that Ginny would be happier living in the zoo, and tried to get Errol to send her there. Their mother wasn't too happy when she caught them trying to wrap Ginny up, although Ginny seemed to think it was all good fun at the time.

Hermione made a thoughtful face. "Harry usually takes Teddy for the weekends at Grimmauld Place, but I'm sure we could talk to him about staying there with him and Teddy for a weekend. He did offer to let us watch over Teddy to get some experience, after all."

Fred smiled. "Is Teddy too young to teach swearwords to?"

Hermione frowned. "Yes he is, and don't you dare."

George smirked. "That's Ron's job, anyway. He even claimed it. He's hoping Teddy's first words will be 'bloody hell'."

"I'm sure Andromeda will love that," Hermione said, her mouth in a thin line.

Fred chuckled.

--- --- ---

The more Fred thought about it, the more George's idea of babysitting Teddy seemed like a bad idea. Of course, that was probably because it seemed like the kid lived only to torment those taking care of him.

Harry was more than happy to let Fred and Hermione stay with him and Teddy at Grimmauld Place for the weekend. He told them that he'd let them do most of the work caring for Teddy, although he'd help out if they really needed it. Fred had no idea where Harry would have picked up any childcare tips, although he had been taking care of his godson over the weekends since late May apparently, picking him up on Friday nights and returning him Sunday evenings.

"You might want to move, Fred," Harry said as he watched on with amusement.

"Why?" Fred asked as he reached for a clean nappy. He had no idea what Teddy had been eating, but whatever it was left a very foul smelling nappy to be changed. And since Hermione changed the last one, he was regulated to changing this one. Fred didn't think that was very fair.

Harry chuckled. "You'll find out if you don't. He's a squirter."

"A what? Eugh!" Fred pulled back suddenly as he was hit by a stream of urine.

Harry and Hermione both laughed at his misfortune.

"It's better if you change him from the side," Harry said as Fred glared at them darkly. "It might be more difficult, but at least you'd be out of the line of fire."

Fred was not amused. He was pretty sure Teddy was laughing at him. He stood up and cast a cleaning spell on himself. "You finish this, then," he said sullenly as he followed up the cleaning spell with a freshening charm. He swore that the kid targeted him on purpose. After feeding the kid an hour ago, Teddy had spit up all over him. Fred wished he'd brought a few more spare outfits, as those he brought were currently being washed. Cleaning spells and freshening charms could only do so much.

Hermione shook her head. "You're going to have to get used to this, Fred," she said as she went over to finish changing Teddy's nappy.

Fred shook his head. "No way. You're having a girl. They're less dangerous. Either that or they get toilet trained right off the bat."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she folded the clean nappy around the infant. "It doesn't work like that, Fred."

Fred decided to ignore that, preferring to live with the delusion that he could toilet train a newborn. "Does his hair change color based off what he wants or needs?" he asked Harry as Teddy's hair changed from yellow to blue.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I'd tell you if it did? Your child's not going to be a metamorphmagus, and you're not going to have anyone telling you what your kid wants."

"They'll learn how to talk before they're a week old," Fred said. "That way they can say when they're hungry, or when their mum needs to change their nappy--"

"Excuse you?" Hermione said as she snapped Teddy's pants back into place.

"I didn't mean you'd be the only one changing them." Fred smiled. "But you get the foul ones."

Hermione gave him a look. "I don't think so."

Harry laughed. "When you guys first told us that the two of you were going to have a kid, I just couldn't imagine how something like that could happen."

Fred smirked. "Well, Harry, when a wizard and a witch are feeling particularly horny--"

"Not like that," Harry interrupted as Hermione smacked Fred across the chest. "Although I would love to hear you give your kid The Talk if it started like that."

Fred nodded sagely. "There'll be sock puppets for visual aid."

Hermione frowned as she picked Teddy up. "There will not be any sock puppets involved."

"What about George's porn collection?" Fred asked, smirking.

"Absolutely not," Hermione replied with narrowed eyes.

Harry chuckled. "I can actually picture the two of you together now, though. Unexpected, but I can see it."

Fred shrugged. "I never have cared much for doing what people expect."

"Obviously," Harry said. He glanced to Hermione. "I am a bit surprised at you, though."

"If I did what was expected of me, I don't think I'd be as happy as I am now," she said. "That, and I don't think I would have been able to experience multiple orgasms for that matter."

"I did not need to know that," Harry said flatly.

Fred gave Hermione a funny look. "And you were the one telling me to watch my mouth in front of Teddy."

"He doesn't understand what that means," Hermione said. She looked down at Teddy, who smiled up at her, his hair turning a bright shade of pink. "Do you, Teddy?"

"I wish _I _didn't understand what that means," Harry muttered.

--- --- ---

"I swear that the kid has it in for me," Fred said as he sat on the couch of the sitting room, holding Teddy. He had been holding Teddy for far too long. He didn't know how long exactly, but his arms were completely tired and sore, so he figured that meant he'd been holding him for too long. He wouldn't be holding him this long, except that every time he tried to put Teddy into his crib or pass him off to someone else the infant began to wail very loudly until Fred took him back. "I have been puked on, pissed on, and even pooped on far too many times in one day," Fred added.

"Welcome to parenthood," Harry said. "That's what Andromeda told me the first time I complained about what you're complaining about now. Besides, he doesn't know any better."

Fred rolled his eyes and glanced down to the 'sleeping' baby in his arms. He knew better than to assume that Teddy -- currently a redhead -- was actually asleep. "Remind me to apologize to my mum for everything me and George put her through growing up."

Hermione glanced up at him from the book on baby care she was reading. "Do you really mean that, or are you just saying that?"

"Does it matter?" Fred replied. "I don't want our kid acting like I did. I find it a small miracle that mum would even consider having more kids after what George and me put her through when we were babies." He glanced down as Teddy made a burp-like noise, and then frowned as the infant spit up on him. "Oh, come on!"

Hermione laughed. "I think he agrees with you about something."

Fred glared at her half-heartedly as he got up and walked over to her. "Take him," he said as he handed Teddy over to her. Almost instantly, the infant began to cry as he left Fred's arms. Fred opted to ignore Teddy for the time being, and took out his wand to cast what had to be the hundredth cleaning charm he'd cast that day. The spit up vanished off Fred's clothes and off Teddy. Fred really didn't know how Muggles managed.

Hermione frowned. "Freshening charm, please," she said, wrinkling her nose. Fred obliged her to remove the leftover smell of the baby puke. "And can you please take him back? I don't think my eardrums can take this for long."

Fred made an irritated sound, but took Teddy back, who immediately quieted down. "I am not holding you all night, kid," he said. Teddy just grinned in response.

Harry chuckled. "Would you like some advice? Put him in his crib, place a silencing charm on him, and take it off after fifteen minutes or so. He'll cry himself to sleep. If he doesn't, pick him up and make sure he's not hungry or in need of a change, and then try again."

Hermione frowned. "You can't just place a silencing charm on a baby!"

Fred made a thoughtful face. "So you don't mind holding him for over an hour like I have just to get him to stop crying? My arms feel like they're about to fall off, and I need to use the toilet. Since I am toilet trained, I have no intention whatsoever of doing so right here."

When Fred returned a few minutes later, he could see that Teddy was crying in Hermione's arms, although he couldn't hear the baby's cries. He quirked an eyebrow at Hermione.

"Don't even say it," she said.

--- --- ---

By the time Sunday evening came around, Fred was thoroughly exhausted. He knew Hermione was as well, although she had, for the most part, slept most of Saturday night while Fred took care of the late night feedings and diaper changes. He knew she needed her rest, and potions that gave artificial alertness usually were not safe for pregnant women to take. He, however, could take one if needed to function through the day.

"I am never having any kids," he said as the ascended the staircase that led up to his flat. Harry had left for Andromeda's with Teddy, and even though there was still the Sunday evening dinner at the Burrow to go to, Fred wanted the chance to shower and change before they left.

At the strange look he received from Hermione, he hastily added, "Well, aside from the one we're obviously having."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

Fred made a thoughtful face. "Will you move in with me? Whether we get married next month or in December, we should get used to the idea of living together."

Hermione looked at him. "Are you sure you didn't plan this?" she teased as they approached the door. "It just strikes me as something you would do to 'get the girl'."

"On the grave of my brother's ear, I did not plan this," Fred said with mock solemnity. "And this is not how I would plan to 'get the girl'. My plan would probably involve a series of misadventures that left one or both of us naked, in jail, covered in feathers, and handcuffed to a six-foot tall drag queen named 'Sugarbuns'." He waved his wand to unlock the door to his flat and opened the door.

Hermione gave him a look. "I don't think I want to know."

Fred smiled. "Probably not," he said as they walked inside. He blinked as he saw they had a visitor. "How did you get in here?" he asked Janice, Tracy's younger sister. The young girl was sitting on the couch and watching some cartoon on the television.

"Your brother let me in," Janice said as she looked over at him. "He said to watch the telly and keep myself entertained while he tries to get into my sister's pants. He's supposed to be watching me while sis is at work."

Hermione frowned. "Er, George actually said that's what he was trying to do?"

Janice nodded. "I overheard him and sis striking up an agreement earlier that he'll watch me whenever she's at work if she helps teach him better bedroom skills."

"That's…" Fred shook his head. "No, I'm not going to say it."

"My sentiment exactly," Hermione said. She walked over to Janice and sat down next to her on the couch. "What are you watching?"

"I'm not sure," Janice said as she made a face at the screen. "You guys don't seem to have cable here, so I'm stuck watching some videos I found lying around."

Fred glanced to the screen. Whatever it was she was watching did not strike him as appropriate for an eleven-year-old to watch, as a leather-clad character in it appeared to be bound and gagged while getting spanked.

Fred grumbled and turned the tape off. "George! Get out here!" he called out, knowing his twin was somewhere in the flat. He wondered just what the hell his twin was thinking when he let a little kid watch animated porn.

Hermione got off the couch and went over to the video collection by the television. "Don't you guys have anything that's not animated porn?"

Fred shrugged. "I don't know. I don't watch the television."

"All I saw when trying to find something to watch was a bunch of porn," Janice said. "Not all of it was animated, though."

Fred shook his head, intending to give George a thorough talking-to the next time he had the chance. There wasn't anything wrong with porn, but leaving it lying around where little kids could find it just crossed a line. Granted, when he and George were ten they would sneak into Bill's room and nick some of his nudie magazines. But that was completely different.

He went over to where Hermione was looking through the video collection. If Hermione was going to be living there, George would have to find some other place to put his video stash. "Let's just leave George's videos alone for now," he suggested.

Hermione nodded. "There's some really twisted stuff in there."

Fred had no doubts about that, but whatever reply he might have had was cut off when the door to George's room opened, and voices could be heard coming from down the hall.

"All I'm saying is that if you focus on your own pleasure rather than that of the person you're with, you'll only be considered as passable at best," Tracy said as she and George entered the living room from down the hall.

Hermione frowned. "Were the two of you having sex while Janice was sitting here watching television?" she asked as she walked over to them.

"Tried to," George grumbled.

Tracy's eyes shone with amusement. "It seems as though George has a slight allergy to latex."

Fred narrowed his eyes at George. "Why did you have a little kid watch porn while you were trying to get it on with her sister?"

George frowned. "I did not have her watch porn!" He glanced to Janice, who was frowning. "I told her to find something to watch to keep her entertained!"

"All you had to watch was porn," Janice said. "And I am not a little kid!"

Tracy glanced at Janice with amusement. "It seems as though we need to bring some more age appropriate videos for you to watch next time you're here."

Janice nodded. "Can we bring the Friday the 13th series over?"

"That's not very age appropriate, either," Hermione said. "I could bring in some Disney movies," she offered.

"I'm not four," Janice scowled. "What about the Evil Dead series?"

Tracy smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

Fred shook his head, having no idea what all the movies they were referring to were about. He turned to George. "An allergy to latex, huh? What kind of allergy?"

George narrowed his eyes and grumbled something unintelligible.

"Just a mild reaction," Tracy said, turning to Fred. "It was cleared up before we left the room, but when he put the condom on, it turned his--"

"Let's not get into details about that," George said quickly, turning bright red. "What else might work since that's out?" he asked Tracy.

She raised an eyebrow. "I suppose that depends on how much you trust me. I have better control over my body and spirit energy than a human does. Unless I desire to have a child, my spirit energy will instinctively raise into a protective barrier that would prevent such an event from occurring. I'm certain that you felt it before during our interlude at Hogwarts."

George paused in thought. "I remember that it was a mind-blowing experience that nothing afterward could really compare to. I just attributed the amazingness to it being my first time. Are you saying it had more to do with you using your spirit energy?"

"Not entirely, no," Tracy said. "I possess knowledge and experience that no human girl likely ever will. I figured that I'd give you a little taste."

George paused. "Some of the things you did aren't possible for a human to do, are they?"

Tracy paused. "They are, but would require far more control over one's muscles than most human women ever get. In retrospect, I probably should not have set such lofty standards."

"Could the two of you have this talk somewhere else?" Hermione asked. "I'd rather not be privy to the details of your sex life." She glanced to Janice. "And I really don't think it's appropriate to talk about this in front of an eleven-year-old."

Janice waved her off. "It isn't anything I haven't heard before anyway."

George frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Tracy smiled. "I have to be at work in an hour, so I should be heading out anyway."

"Do you want to give it another try before you do?" George asked.

Tracy looked at him in amusement. "You wouldn't want to independently verify what I said about my spirit energy?"

George paused, and then shook his head. "I doubt you want a kid, either, and I don't think you'd risk it."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "You're rather trusting. To answer your question on trying again, though, we don't have enough time. It takes half an hour for me to get home from here, and fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant I work at from there. Since it usually takes me ten minutes to get ready, that would leave five minutes."

"That's enough time," George said.

She shook her head. "Not if you're serious about learning what you referred to as 'mad bedroom skills'. As I said, I'm willing to teach you, but you must be willing to make the effort to learn." She turned to Janice. "Behave yourself, alright?"

Janice smiled innocently at her sister. "Of course I will."

Tracy smiled and turned to Fred and Hermione. "It was nice seeing the two of you again." She walked toward the door that led out of the twins' flat.

"I can Apparate you to your house," George said as he followed her. "And to work. That'd give us an extra forty-five minutes if I did, right?"

Tracy just shook her head and walked out the door, George following her.

After they were gone, Fred raised an eyebrow. "Well, that was different."

"How do you mean?" Hermione asked.

He smiled. "George _never _chases after a girl." He turned to Janice. "I take it that none of this is new to you?"

Janice shook her head. "There's always some guy chasing after her. Most of the time she'll just ignore them. I don't know why she's doing this with him. Probably as a result of a coin toss or something. At least I hope that's what it is." She grumbled something under her breath.

Fred chuckled. He didn't know quite what to make of Tracy, who seemed to be almost whimsical underneath her aloof exterior. He didn't have much difficulty imagining that she might have flipped a coin to determine how she acted around George.

Hermione cleared her throat. "We should be getting ready for dinner at the Burrow." She glanced to Janice. "Er, since George is watching over you, I guess you'll be coming, too?"

Janice shrugged. "I guess. Unless he's too busy trying to get my sister to have sex with him."

--- --- ---

Fred wasn't entirely surprised that his mother had already made out invitations as well as arranged for a wedding to take place on August 28th. The ceremony and reception were to take place in the garden at the Burrow, although he was a bit surprised to find that his mother had already booked a photographer and musicians. It had only been a few days since the family was informed of Hermione's pregnancy on Thursday night.

"I'm having a difficult time finding someone to officiate over the wedding at such short notice," Mrs. Weasley said, "but it's only been a few days. I'm sure we'll find someone."

"I'm an ordained minister," George said as he picked at his food. Janice had been teasing him all night, making comments that he had better be nice to her and do what she says or else she might ruin his chances with Tracy. "If nobody else will do it, I can."

"I don't think the Ministry recognizes people ordained online as able to officiate over weddings," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"Actually, it does," Percy said as he piled some potatoes onto his plate. "He just needs to turn in the paperwork he received in to the Ministry of Magic, and he'd be officially recognized."

"I'd rather be the best man, though," George said.

Fred sighed as the wedding plans continued. A glance to Hermione showed that she was also rather annoyed by everything getting decided for them. If they did have to get married next month, they should have at least been able to pick their own date. At least the 28th was a Friday, which was unofficially 'their' day.

"So you live alone with your sister?" Ginny asked Janice after it was decided that the women would go to Diagon Alley the next day to shop for dresses to wear at the wedding.

"Not alone, no," Janice said. She glanced at George and smirked. "His ex-girlfriend lives with us, too."

"Karin's not my ex-girlfriend," George said. "She was never my girlfriend to begin with."

"So what exactly was she?" Janice asked, her eyes shining much like a shark going in for the kill. "I know there was something going on. I'm not stupid."

Fred chuckled with amusement as George looked rather uncomfortable. He knew that George did not want to admit in front of everyone just what he had been doing with Karin. After all, the other day when Fred and Hermione had broken the news of Hermione's pregnancy and their engagement, it was obvious that his parents did not approve of them having engaged in activities that led to a pregnancy. If it hadn't been for Charlie redirecting some of their parents' disapproval to himself (by revealing he was dating a stripper), things could have gone much worse.

"Er… It wasn't really much of anything," George said. "We were just friends, and she thought it was something more than friendship."

Fred raised an eyebrow. From the look on Janice's face, he had a feeling that she knew exactly what had gone on between George and Karin.

"Really? I thought the two of you were fooling around with one another," Janice said.

"We weren't fooling around," George said, his face red.

Janice nodded and turned to her plate. "Really? Because I was under the impression that before she moved in with us, that Karin had been sleeping with you and went down on you a few times."

"We never slept together!" George protested as everyone turned to look at him.

Janice shrugged. "Maybe it's just me, but I've never gone down on some guy I was 'just friends' with. That sounds like fooling around to me. Of course, I'm a kid, so what do I know, right?"

Fred snickered as his mother started in on George, grilling him on just what exactly he had been doing with Karin.

"I'm moving in with Fred this week," Hermione said, interrupting a tirade about how George shouldn't be taking advantage of girls, and that sleeping around would only cause him to end up with some horrible disease. "We decided that we need to get used to living together before the wedding, so I'm moving in with him."

That served its purpose as a distraction to get the heat off George, but only ended up putting the heat back onto Fred and Hermione. Fred wasn't too happy when he was asked just where Hermione was going to sleep, as the answer to that should be rather obvious.

"We're engaged, mum," he said, rubbing his temples. "Of course we're going to be sleeping in the same bed. Besides, it's not like she can get any more pregnant."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say as his mother started in on him. He was irresponsible and should never have put himself and Hermione into the situation that they were in. He figured that it was better to keep his mouth and not say that she was the one who had actually made the first move. He was fully aware that he had his own share of the blame, and wasn't going to pretend otherwise. He could have told her to wait, or made sure that some sort of contraceptive was used, but didn't.

"Molly, he's taking responsibility," his father mercifully interjected on his behalf. "He's a self-sufficient businessman who has his own place to live, a business that brings in more galleons in one month that I used to make in a year back when we were expecting Bill, and he's planning on marrying her. For all his jokes, he has a good head on his shoulders."

Fred blinked. Did his father just accuse him of being responsible? Where in the world had that come from?

After that, the conversation thankfully turned to safer topics. How Harry's Auror training was doing, the upcoming NEWTs, and his mother's disapproval that none of her non-Hogwarts graduating sons planned to take them. Well, Ron was still divided on whether he was going to take them or not, which was something Fred wasn't too happy about either. He needed to know if Ron would be in at work that week or not. As it was, one of their part time employees -- a girl named Megan who'd been in Hufflepuff -- needed the week off to take her NEWTs.

"We need to know whose shifts we need to cover for, Ron," Fred said. "And I don't know how long you expect to be working for us, but--"

"Would you seriously fire me?" Ron asked, appalled. "I'm your brother!"

Fred took in a deep breath, trying to remain patient. "If your work ethic doesn't improve, that remains a possibility. There are a couple of part time workers who would love to have the extra hours that taking over your shift would bring. And do you honestly expect to be working for us part time all your life?"

Ron frowned. "I was hoping to become full time again."

George laughed from across the table. "One month, Ron. If you can come to work on time every day for a month--"

"--And take _only _your scheduled breaks and lunches," Fred added.

"--Then we might _possibly _consider giving you extra hours," George said.

Ron grumbled a bit, but said nothing.

--- --- ---

"I don't like you," Janice said to George once they'd returned to the twins' flat. Fred and George had assisted Hermione with packing some of her belongings into her school trunk and bringing it to Fred's room.

George frowned as he folded his arms across his chest. "And why is that?"

Fred glanced to Hermione, who shrugged as she sat down on the couch. He sat down next to her and smiled as she leaned against him. He put his arms around her and continued to watch the scene unfold.

"You're no different than any of the other dogs who try to get with big sis," Janice said. "You're only interested in her because she has a pretty face, nice body, and big tits."

"That's not true!" George protested. "I mean, it's true that she is very pleasing to the eyes, but that's not the only reason I want to be with her."

Janice rolled her eyes. "You do realize she's just toying with you, right?"

A deflated expression crossed George's features. "What?"

Janice smirked. "You heard me. Maybe she's decided you need to know what it's like to be played with. She'll lead you on for a while until she gets bored with you. You should count yourself lucky. Few guys get even that much attention from her."

Hermione raised an eyebrow as she placed a hand over Fred's, who had lazily rested a hand over her stomach. "I thought you said you didn't know why Tracy was doing what she was doing with George," she said. "You said it might be the result of a coin toss."

An expression that Fred was all too familiar with crossed Janice's face. He could easily recognize the look of someone who was surprised at having been caught making up a story. He and George would sometimes be caught in their own lies growing up, usually when their stories didn't quite match or when they contradicted what they said earlier.

Janice quickly recovered. "Well, normally she doesn't bother dealing with guys that way. I guess she must think you're a real dog," she said to George.

George slumped down into the nearby armchair. "She wouldn't do that," he said weakly.

"It wouldn't have worked between you two, anyway," Janice said, folding her arms across her chest and watching him with a haughty look. "She's got something. It's terminal. Cancer of the… something. You should just give up on her now."

"You're very protective of your sister aren't you?" Fred asked.

Janice glanced to him, her expression faltering. "Aren't you protective of your siblings?"

"I can be," Fred admitted. "But I wouldn't make things up to try to scare away a prospective suitor just because I didn't like them."

Janice frowned. "He's not a 'prospective suitor'," she said, pointing to George. "He's just another guy who wants to sleep with my sister. He has no real interest in her. He doesn't even know her."

George picked his head up, a look of shock on his face.

Fred rolled his eyes. "I'm not going argue motives with you. But you should let them both make their own decisions. It's not your place to interfere."

"It's all right," George said, standing up. "She's right. I don't know Tracy. I didn't even recognize her when meeting up with her after all this time, and that's just bad. There's no excuse for the way I've acted." He glanced to the clock and then turned to Janice. "She'll be getting off work soon. Do you want me to take you there to meet up with her so the two of you can head home?"

Janice watched George warily, but nodded. "Do you know where she works?"

"I've been there before," George replied. "Kind of a dive. I saw the way some of her customers treated her. She deserves better."

Janice looked at him coolly. "Yes, she does. That's why you should just give up on her. She deserves someone who actually wants her for more than just her body."

George made a sound of annoyance as he walked to the door, gesturing to Janice that they should leave. The younger girl glared at him sullenly, but followed him out.

"Do you think that George is giving up on Tracy?" Hermione asked once they had left.

"Not one bit," Fred said. "I told you that he never chases after a girl. Too much effort, or some rot like that. George is lazy when it comes to birds. He prefers them to chase after him. That he's chasing after Tracy means that something is a bit different this time for him. She's more than just a prospective shag to him, I think, otherwise he wouldn't be trying so hard."

"You know him better than I do," Hermione said. "I just hope he doesn't get hurt too badly if he really does care about her and she's just toying with him."

"I wouldn't know," Fred said. "I think Janice was just trying to scare George off Tracy. I hope Tracy's not toying with him, because I'd hate to see what he'd be like if he did get hurt again."

Hermione looked over at him. "What do you mean, 'again'?"

"Verity's engagement hurt George more than he let on," Fred explained. "They'd been 'shag buddies' for over a year and a half before we had to go into hiding. They never really ended things, but she was engaged to some other bloke when he next saw her three months later. I think whatever they had going constituted as a serious relationship to him, even if he never said anything to her. A year and a half is a long time."

Hermione nodded. "And then the whole incident with Karin and Tracy happened." She paused. "Three months isn't really that long."

"Three months ago I was dead," Fred pointed out.

Hermione moved closer to Fred. "I suppose a lot can happen in three months."

"I suppose you're right," Fred replied.


	16. 16 Journey to Arkayos Castle

**Chapter 16**: Journey to Arkayos Castle  
[_July 28, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred was somehow unsurprised to see Karin loitering about the shop. While it was great that he and George were no longer on a set schedule now that they had the extra help, he'd had the suspicion that Karin would be using the time they were supposed to be working on inventing new products to send them on missions.

"You next mission will be taking you to a place I'd rather you guys not go," Karin said after Fred had dragged her out of earshot of any customers or part time workers that might overhear. "Surrounded by heavy wards created by the Underworld, the forgotten city of Arkayos is home to demons. The inhabitants aren't allowed out of city limits, and it's guarded against outsiders. Someone just wandering by would think it nothing more than some uninteresting ruins."

"So it's a lot like Hogsmeade, except with demons instead of wizards," Fred said, folding his arms across his chest.

Karin nodded. "Exactly. The problem is that the demons there are restless. They want to break free of their city and wreak carnage in human populated cities. Arkayos is full of dangerous demons. The city is divided into four quarters, each of them ruled by a powerful demon. I'm sure that with the training that you and George--" She stopped and looked around. "Where is he, anyway?"

Fred shrugged. "He was assisting a customer last I saw him."

Karin made an annoyed sound and walked past him to head back to the main portion of the store, where George was helping Tracy explain something to a customer. Fred sighed and followed. He just hoped there wouldn't be a showdown taking place in the middle of his shop.

"--Water will neutralize the effects," George was saying to the customer. "So make sure you don't use it in the rain."

The customer nodded, although it was apparent he wasn't really paying attention to George, so much as he was staring at Tracy's cleavage. Tracy was wearing a low cut top under her open work robes that showed off enough cleavage to be pleasantly distracting, but not so much to be indecent.

George narrowed his eyes at the customer, and then followed his gaze to Tracy. George walked in front of Tracy, and much to her amusement, grabbed the front of her robes and pulled them closed. "Don't you have a girlfriend or wife or something?" George asked the customer as he fiddled with clasping Tracy's robes closed.

Tracy chuckled. "Don't mind him," she said to the customer. "He's just a bit frustrated, and has been talking about coming up with a dress code."

The customer nodded. "I hope he doesn't. I've spoken to my friends, and they've all said that I needed to come in here to check out the hot girl who works here. I've been here many times, and there's a lot of hot girls who work here. I'd have to say that you're the hottest, though. What's your bra size?"

George growled. "I'm sure that one of my other employees can ring up your purchases at the counter. If you'll excuse us." He gave a look to Tracy that made it clear he wanted her to follow him.

Fred raised an eyebrow as Tracy followed George over to where he and Karin were waiting nearby, but not before she said something that sounded suspiciously like '36-D' to the customer.

"You've got an assignment," Karin said as George and Tracy joined them. She glanced to Tracy. "I suppose it might be a good idea for you to help them. I suppose you could count it as part of your community service."

"Will that lessen the amount of time I serve under probation?" Tracy asked.

Karin nodded curtly as she led the group out of earshot towards the back. Fred couldn't help but notice that the customer who George and Tracy had been talking to had an armload of purchases, and was watching Tracy as she walked with them.

"Due to the nature of the mission, and the sheer power of the demons you'll be fighting, Ryou has also been offered the chance to lessen his sentence as well," Karin said. "He was trying to make a few other demands, so he might be rather sullen for a while."

"A cure," Tracy said, smiling. "He is rather single-minded, isn't he? Does the Underworld have one?"

Karin made a face that suggested she was uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "Er, that's not for me to say."

"A cure for what?" George asked, looking between the two women.

"For his 'female' troubles," Fred guessed. "You remember how he was a she that time in the bar, right? I told you that when I fought him, one of his halves turned into a she."

Tracy made a noise of assent. "Whenever Ryou sneezes, he turns into a female for three hours. He can turn back into his male form before the time is up, but to do that he has to kiss another male." She smiled. "It's quite entertaining, really."

George gave her a funny look. "He has to kiss another bloke? How did he wind up getting cursed like that?"

Tracy shrugged. "I never asked."

Karin rolled her eyes. "Right. Anyway, the city of Arkayos is divided into four sections, each of them ruled over by a local demon lord. They're demanding that the wards that confine the city's inhabitants be removed. They're claiming that they've built some sort of manufactured beast based on ancient designs, and are threatening to unleash it upon unsuspecting human settlements. Zagros is a chimerical beast of pure demonic energy that exists only for destruction. Legend has it that it once destroyed dozens of villages and cities before it was finally killed. Unfortunately, the nature of legend is unreliable, and nobody can quite seem to remember how it was stopped. That's why it's important that they don't awaken it."

"But if it's confined in their city," Fred said, "it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

Karin shook her head. "They have demons outside the city working on building the beast for them. They've built it underground."

Tracy nodded. "It's under London, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Karin said. "You can see why it's important that Zagros is not awakened. Millions will die. But the Underworld can't just let the inhabitants of Arkayos out of their confinement, as the death toll would be catastrophic in that case as well. We're talking about thousands of powerful demons that would be set free, killing and devouring humans as they please. That's why the rulers of Arkayos must be taken out. They are threatening to awaken the beast, and only by destroying the talismans that they possess can that be prevented."

Fred frowned. "What talismans?"

"They're known collectively as the Youshin. There's a clasp that holds a cape closed," Karin pointed to her neck. "That is possessed by Hokuto, ruler of the north quarter. A belt buckle that is worn by Nanka, ruler of the south. The other two talismans are worn on the wrists. Toukaze of the east and Seisui of the west possess those."

Tracy scoffed. "I've heard of them. Amateurs," she muttered. "Still, I suppose that can't be helped."

Fred glanced to her, and then back to Karin. "Why do so many demons have Japanese names?" he asked. "I mean, isn't your demon name Japanese?" he asked Tracy.

Tracy nodded. "Kuroi means 'black' in Japanese, yes. And Japanese is actually the most commonly spoken human language in the demon plane. Most portals that go between the realms lead to Japan."

An annoyed expression crossed Karin's face. "Yes, well, time is of the essence. The Underworld has no idea how long it will take them to awaken Zagros, and they don't want to find out. The rulers have given us a time limit of two weeks, but that doesn't mean they won't awaken the beast sooner."

"They know you have no intention of giving in to their demands," Fred said.

Karin nodded. "Exactly. And due to the nature of the city, I'll be taking you there in half an hour. Do whatever you need to do before then." She held out her hand and summoned her oar. "I'll meet you back here." With a wave of her free hand, she disappeared.

"I hate when she does that," Fred muttered. He turned to George and Tracy. "Shall we come up with a strategy?"

Tracy shrugged. "What's the point of coming up with a strategy now? You know nothing of their abilities or techniques." She started to walk off in the direction of the counter.

George watched her walk away, and then turned to Fred. "What's the chance that we won't have to fight this Zagros beast?"

"Slim to none," Fred said. He really doubted that they would get so lucky as to avoid fighting some ancient man-made beast that was the stuff of bad legends. They just needed to figure out how to destroy it. "Do you think there's any written legends of this Zagros creature?"

George shrugged as they walked towards the counter as well, where Hermione was watching as Tracy had pulled her bag out from behind the counter and was rummaging through it. "Thinking of asking Hermione to look up how it was killed last time?"

Fred nodded. "If anyone can find something in a book, she can."

George made a thoughtful face. "From what Karin said, it sounds more like something of oral legends. I'm curious as to what these ancient designs are, though."

Fred shrugged. "Ancient magic, I suspect. Who wants to bet that some long-forgotten relic of old was what destroyed this thing in the first place?"

"Not betting on that one," George said as they came to the counter. Tracy had taken a small device out of her bag, and was pressing a few buttons on it. "You're probably right about that."

"Right about what?" Hermione asked them.

"That some ancient relic is needed to defeat an ancient beast that we might have to fight, even though we're about to fight the guys trying to build and awaken it," George said. "We'll probably die, but I'm hoping Karin's not too upset with me to bring us back to life."

Tracy gave him a funny look as she held the device to her ear. "That's not up to her. And I hope you're not serious about expecting the Underworld to bring you back if you die, because they won't. Yes? Oh, I'm just calling to let you know that I'm heading out on a mission." She turned her back to the group as she spoke into the device.

Fred gave Hermione a questioning look. She just shrugged and said, "Mobile phone."

Fred had no idea what that was, but decided he had more important things to talk about with Hermione than Muggle devices. "We're heading out on a mission in about half an hour. I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't plan on dying." He glared at George, who shrugged. "I hope we all come back alive, but--"

Hermione sighed. "Just stop," she said. "You know that I hate staying behind and worrying." She held up a hand to stop him from interrupting. "I'm not stupid enough to go with you, though. If it was just me, I would, but it's not. And that's why I fully expect you to come back alive."

Fred smiled slightly. "I hope so. And promise me that you'll get out of London if there's any trouble whatsoever. If you get so much as a strange feeling, Apparate to the Burrow or Hogsmeade or somewhere. Just don't stay here."

George nodded. "Even if I die, I'd like to be able to look down on everyone from time to time and see how my nephew is doing."

Fred glanced at his twin. "How do you know she's having a boy? She could be having a girl. At least a girl won't pee on me when I'm changing their nappy."

George smiled. "Why not one of each? They say that twins run in families, after all."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That's fraternal twins, and that's usually on the mother's side of the family."

George shrugged. "Well, you look like you could be carrying twins. Fleur's further along than you, and you look fatter than she does."

Fred smacked him in the back of the head.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at George. "Thank you," she said in an icy tone. "Really, George, that's what every girl longs to hear. I'm not even showing."

"Well, it's true," George muttered. "Don't think I didn't notice that you ate more than Ron at the family dinner, either. Nobody eats more than Ron. I didn't think it was humanly possible. You've got to be eating for more than just two to eat more than him."

Hermione continued to glare at George for a few seconds before looking to Fred. "Hit him again, would you?"

Fred obliged her by smacking George in the back of the head again. He ignored the glare he received from George and asked Hermione, "Have you ever heard of a legendary creature named Zagros?"

Hermione paused in thought for a few seconds and then slowly shook her head. "I don't remember ever reading about something like that."

Fred frowned. "It's supposed to be some kind of chimerical beast of ancient times that destroyed dozens of villages before it was finally stopped. We're trying to find out how it was killed, because we might have to fight a manufactured replica of it."

"If it's ancient, there probably won't be much about it, if anything," Hermione said. "One thing I noticed in all the books I've read is that nothing really goes back further than fifteen hundred years, and even then records are hazy in the five centuries before Hogwarts was founded," Hermione said. "Although I do remember reading a vague mention that something happened that changed how magic was used, and nearly destroyed the world."

"Do you remember anything about that?" Fred asked, hoping that it might provide some clue.

Hermione shook her head. "From what I do recall, there was a war. There weren't any details, and it didn't say when it happened, but there was mention of a horrible spell used to end the war. It almost destroyed the world, and forever changed the flow of magic. At least that's what I was able to figure out."

Fred furrowed his brows in thought. "That's further back than fifteen hundred years ago, though. That was more like three thousand years ago."

George glanced to him. "How in the world do you know that?"

Fred paused and shook his head. "I don't know. I just do. But it has nothing to do with Zagros, who came a couple of centuries before that." He paused. "How do I know that?" he mused.

"It's not unusual," Tracy said as she closed the device she had been speaking on and turned to them. "Even human souls get reincarnated sometimes. People might not remember past lives, if they lived one at all, but there might be times that a person just knows something, even if they don't know why. You might be the reincarnation of someone who lived during that time period, or studied that time period."

Fred shrugged. "Maybe. That's just weird, though, and sounds like something Loony Lovegood would say."

"You mean Luna?" Tracy asked, raising an eyebrow. "She has a stronger sixth sense than George here. She was able to recognize me for what I really am." She paused. "Although she insisted on calling me something weird. An 'Avatrope', I think it was."

Hermione looked to Tracy. "Does that mean that the imaginary creatures she goes on about really exist?"

Tracy shrugged. "There's a lot out there that not even wizards can see. I tried to avoid her when I could. She wanted to study me. But it wouldn't surprise me to find out that some of the creatures she talks about exist under different names. It also wouldn't surprise me if they're just in her imagination, either, though."

George glanced to her. "How was she able to recognize you as a demon?"

Tracy smiled. "She sensed me. I'm sure that you can sense me too."

George nodded. "Yeah, but I don't really think about it. I guess I'm just getting used to it or something." He paused. "Do you have a more demonic visage?"

Tracy nodded. "Of course. It consumes a tremendous amount of power to transform, though. Fred there probably saw my demon form when I transferred my magic to Janice."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "You mean when your hair turned black and wings sprouted from your back?"

Tracy nodded. "My eyes should also have been solid black, but yes."

George glanced to Fred briefly, and then turned back to Tracy. "Do you prefer to be called 'Tracy' or 'Kuroi'?"

Tracy looked startled by the question briefly before smiling. "I answer to either, but I prefer to be called Tracy in public. In private, it doesn't really matter."

George nodded. "But you must have a preference. When you stop to think about it, 'Tracy' is just a disguise for 'Kuroi'. It's a nickname, not who you really are."

Tracy watched him contemplatively. "Was Hamlet mad in the end, or was he still pretending?" she asked after a long pause.

George looked at her in confusion. "Who's Hamlet?" he asked.

"He was the title character of a play by William Shakespeare," Hermione said. "He was a famous playwright."

George nodded. "Yeah, I heard of him, but didn't read the play. I was too busy working on other things to pay attention that day in Muggle Studies."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You took Muggle Studies?"

George nodded. "And Fred there took Arithmancy. That's why he does the stuff with the numbers."

Fred frowned. "Quiet about that," he said, looking around. "People might start thinking I'm not completely brainless if they knew I took a class like that."

Hermione blinked. "That's rather… unexpected. And you're not brainless, Fred."

"Stop saying that!" Fred said. "I've got a reputation to maintain."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine. I've never met someone quite as lacking in the brain department as you," she said in a listless tone.

Fred smiled. "Thank you."

Tracy chuckled. "Speaking of lacking in the brain department, have you come up with a new introduction speech?" she asked George.

George frowned. "How does brainlessness have anything to do with introducing myself?"

She smiled at him. "You have to admit that the way you introduced yourself before was rather indicative of lacking a few brain cells."

George shrugged. "So trying to catch my opponents off guard isn't an intelligent move?"

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you were doing?"

"Unpredictability," George said, smirking. "By acting foolish, my opponents will assume that I am a fool, and will thus underestimate me and perhaps be thrown off guard."

"And here I thought you were acting foolish because you were a fool," Tracy said.

George shrugged. "Just doing what comes naturally."

Fred looked at George flatly. "Do not introduce yourself like that again. Bloody embarrassing, it was."

George waved him off. "I won't."

Fred shot him a disbelieving look before turning to Hermione. "Is there any way you can find out about this Zagros creature?"

Hermione paused. "I suppose I could always ask someone in Flourish and Blotts if they have any books about ancient legends, but someone would have to come in to help out." She glanced across the shop, where one of the new part time employees she had hired was showing some customers around. "I only hired Dog Biscuit last week, and--"

"Excuse me, but what did you say his name was?" George interrupted.

Hermione looked to him. "His name is Dog Biscuit. And if Tracy's going with you--"

"What kind of parent names their kid 'Dog Biscuit'?" George asked.

Hermione gave him an annoyed look. "I'm sure that's just a nickname. The point is--"

"Seriously, though. Dog Biscuit?"

Fred smacked George upside the head again. "It's not that bad a name," Fred said. "I'm thinking of naming my kid something along the lines of Fish Head or Spider Monkey, myself. I just wish I'd thought up the name Dog Biscuit first."

Hermione frowned. "You are not naming our child."

"Maybe Egg Foo Yung?" Fred said.

"Maybe no," Hermione said flatly.

"If your kid was named Egg Foo Yung, he could have the nickname of Lunch Combo Number 5," George reasoned. "Or is the Egg Foo Yung part of combo number 3?"

"With the sweet and sour pork it's part of combo number 3. With the sesame chicken it's part of number 5," Fred said. "Sesame Chicken is also a good name for a child."

"No, it's not," Hermione said. "And stop talking about food, you're making me hungry."

"Pig Iron also sounds good," George said.

"What about Pickled Beet?" Tracy added.

Fred nodded. "Bacon Sandwich."

Hermione frowned and turned to Fred. "I told you to stop talking about food!"

He turned to her. "We're not talking about food, we're talking about possible names for our child. You're not from one of those secret tribes of cannibals, are you? Because if you are then I think you really should have said something to me sooner."

Hermione sighed in frustration. "Shut up, Fred. Why don't you make yourself useful and get me some burritos from that taqueria that was opened down the street? And make sure you get lots of hot sauce." She paused. "In fact, get the hot sauce on Knockturn Alley. None of the hot sauce they sell in Muggle London or Diagon Alley is spicy enough. And get me some pumpkin flavored ice cream while you're at it. On a waffle cone. With sprinkles. The rainbow kind of sprinkles, not the chocolate kind."

Fred blinked. "Are you having one of those weird food cravings?"

Hermione made a thoughtful face. "And a chocolate bunny. Make sure it's solid, and not hollow. I never did care much for the hollow kind."

"Where would I find a chocolate bunny?" Fred asked. "Easter's long over."

Hermione frowned as George and Tracy laughed. "I warned you not to talk about food! Just go!"

After a few seconds of watching Hermione to gauge how serious she was, Fred sighed and started walking to the door. As he did so, he couldn't help but think that 'Spicy Burrito' might be a good name for a child.

--- --- ---

The castle before them was large, but nowhere near as large as Hogwarts. Fred really didn't like the idea of being in a city full of demons, as he didn't even need to have a sixth sense to feel the hostility in the air around him.

"So this is the city center," George said as he looked up at the castle before them. Arriving at Arkayos, one of the first things they'd noticed was that while it was day outside, the atmosphere around the city just seemed to be darker. The sky was a darker shade of blue, and the clouds in the sky were dark, obscuring the sun. Lightning would occasionally flicker across the sky.

Tracy nodded. "Be on your guard," she said. "We're not alone out here."

'Out here' was an open field between the castle and the city itself. The terrain was slightly rocky, but nothing that a creature could easily hide behind. The three of them stayed close to one another, looking around warily.

"Wasn't Ryou supposed to join us?" Fred asked.

"Who knows?" Tracy responded. "He might just feel this is a waste of time. Or else he's just waiting to make his 'grand entrance'."

"Maybe he's already here," George said. He was looking somewhere off to the side, where there was a large pile of bones. "Might not be alive if he is."

Fred glanced to George. "Do you want to head back?"

George shook his head. "Not a chance. I'm not about to allow some ancient beast thing awaken and destroy everything. There's how many people in London?"

"Over seven million," Tracy said.

George glanced to her. "That many?" At her nod, he made a determined face. "Whether he shows up or not, I'm taking these demon guys out." He took a step forward, but immediately stopped as the ground in front of them began to rumble and move.

Short hooded creatures with glowing eyes and claw like hands emerged from the ground as if they were crawling out of graves. Fred dropped into a fighting stance as dozens of the creatures emerged, surrounding them.

Tracy scoffed. "This is almost insulting, really."

Before Fred had time to reply to her, he was fighting. Even after all the training he had undergone, it was difficult to deal with half a dozen of the little demons that had jumped on him at the same time. Every time he punched one of them off him, another took its place. He was sure that George was having the same problem, if his swearing was any indication of.

Fred was fully aware that he could use a Reiki attack to get the demons off him, but felt it more prudent to hold back for the time being. He didn't know whether he would need to use his Reiki later on or not, but figured that he probably would.

High-pitched shrieks filled the air, and Fred felt that the number of demons on his back had lessened. He punched another demon off him, and out of the corner of his eye could see another demon fall to the ground in pieces.

"Ice Chain!" a distinct voice called out. A chain made of ice flew out, and grappled with some of the demons on George. The demons were violently pulled back, only to be cut into pieces by a dark beam of light that was fired from the hilt of a sword that Tracy held.

Soon, none of the attacking demons remained standing, either frozen and shattered by Ryou, or sliced into pieces by Tracy.

"If the two of you are having difficulties with small fry like this," Ryou said once Fred and George had time to gain their bearings, "you won't stand a chance when you get inside."

"What was that?" George growled, glaring at the blue-haired demon.

Ryou sneered at him. "You heard me. You still have one ear, so I know you're not completely deaf."

Tracy sighed. "Enough. Quarrel all you want after we destroy the four talismans."

"I'm not interested in that," Ryou said. "I'm only here for their treasures. And I want to see their designs for the chimerical beast they're creating."

Tracy frowned. "There will be plenty of time to see the designs once the Youshin have been destroyed."

Fred glanced at Ryou, wondering just why he would want to see the designs for a creature like that, but figured it was better not to ask. Instead, the group made their way towards the castle, keeping their guards up in case more of those hooded demon creatures appeared.

"Question time," George said to Tracy as they walked towards the castle. "Where exactly do you keep your sword? Well, hilt. I didn't see you with anything like that on you, and it's not like you have pockets in that skirt you're wearing."

Tracy smiled slightly. She carried the hilt in her right hand. "You see that I'm wearing a belt, right?" Fred glanced to her, noticing that she wore a plain black belt with a silver buckle on her skirt. Tracy touched the buckle with one finger, and placed the hilt against her belt. She let go of it and it froze in place, appearing to vanish from sight as she removed her finger from the buckle. "You'd be amazed at how much I'm carrying on my belt. Bruce Wayne would be jealous."

George frowned. "Who's Bruce Wayne?"

Tracy sighed exaggeratedly. "Am I the only one who knows Batman's true identity?"

"I thought it was Peter Parker," George said.

"That's Spiderman," Tracy replied.

George shrugged. "Batman, Spiderman, whoever." He paused. "If you're carrying so much stuff on your belt, aren't you afraid that someone will find out if they accidentally brush against you?"

Tracy chuckled. "Do you mean would someone feel if I'm carrying around something they can't see? Would you like to find out for yourself?"

Fred slowed down his pace and glanced back at them as Tracy stopped and George went over to her. "You can flirt all you want later," Fred said in annoyance.

George ignored Fred, placing his hands on Tracy's sides. He slowly trailed his hands along the belt she wore until both of his hands were behind her and he had his arms around her. "I don't feel anything," he said.

"I'm not so sure about that," Tracy said as she trailed a hand down George's front. "I'll bet I can get you to feel something."

Fred frowned and stopped walking, turning to face them. "Oi! Enough flirting!"

A bright red George jumped back from Tracy as hail fell down directly over his head. "What the hell?" he exclaimed. He glared at Ryou, who was smirking in satisfaction. "What was that for, you cross-dresser?"

"I'm sure the only reason you speak to me like that is because you have a death wish," Ryou said as he walked towards the castle.

Tracy chuckled. "Maybe later," she said to George as she brushed past him.

Fred glared at his twin briefly before resuming the trek to the castle entrance.

--- --- ---

Fred supposed the entrance to the castle was designed to intimidate those who would seek entrance. It was shaped like a skeletal face, with windows above to serve as eyes, and a gaping mouth that led to a dark tunnel. "Doesn't this look cheerful?" he said as they stood before the entrance.

"There are no guards," Tracy said. "It's probably a trap."

"You think we'll get ambushed?" George asked.

"Who's to say?" she replied. "They probably know we're here, and I doubt we'll be welcomed to join them for tea."

Fred thought it would be nice if they were, but knew they would hardly be welcome. Even knowing that it was a trap, the only thing to do was to move forward. He tried to ignore Ryou's muttering under his breath about having to fight alongside 'stupid humans', if only because he didn't feel that it would be the best time to snap and break the ice demon's neck. He'd wait until after the talismans were destroyed.

The group slowly made their way down the long hall in silence, passing unlit torches along the walls. The time for idle chitchat was over, and they had a job to do. Even if not all of them were on the same page.

As they passed another unlit torch, there was a clicking noise and all the torches lit up. Behind them, a trellised gate blocked off their exit. Even if they wanted to, there was no turning back at that point.

A voice chuckled from up ahead. "The mighty Kuroi and Ryou, reduced to working alongside humans. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would never have believed it."

Tracy froze, as did Ryou. "Don't move," Tracy said to Fred and George.

"Why?" George asked as he took a step forward. Tracy quickly grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him back. George narrowly missed being sliced by a blade that swung down from the ceiling.

The voice ahead chuckled. "The way back is safe. Mostly. If you insist upon continuing in to the castle, well… The management holds no responsibility for loss of life or limb." The owner of the voice laughed at their own macabre joke. The voice sounded neither male nor female, but was one of those androgynous voices. At the end of the hall, Fred could see that the voice belonged to a blob-like creature that looked like it was made out of lime green gelatin.

Ryou chuckled. "The stones beneath our feet are booby-trapped," he said. "So what? There's still a path of safe stones."

"Yes, there is," the gelatin creature said. "But once a safe stone is stepped on, it will become unsafe. The number of safe stones are limited, so only one of you would be able to make it to the end of the hall. Of course, once one of you does so, all of the traps will be set off, and the rest of you will die a horrible death." It laughed shrilly.

Fred exchanged a glance with George. Without a word, George grabbed hold of Tracy's arm, while Fred grabbed Ryou's arm. With a loud crack, they had Apparated to the end of the hall, inches in front of the gelatin blob.

"What the--?" Ryou yanked his arm away from Fred.

"How did you do that?" the blob asked. Fred supposed that the pair of dark masses stuck in it that vaguely resembled pineapple might be eyes, and might have widened if it was possible. "That shouldn't have been possible!"

Ryou's eye twitched, and he raised a hand. Ice surrounded the gelatinous green blob. He glared at Fred. "Never touch me again."

Fred shrugged. "Sure thing," he said jovially. "Next time I'll just leave you behind." He gestured back at the hallway, where the booby-traps had been set off. Blades swung from the ceiling, spikes protruded from the sides and floors, and there were even a few places where the flames of the torches spewed across the hall.

Ryou glanced at the hall. "Whatever," he said, resolutely turning away.

Tracy chuckled. "I suppose that's as close to a 'thank you' as you'll get from him," she said to Fred.

"Go to hell, Kuroi," Ryou muttered as he started walking towards a staircase.

--- --- ---

Fred had no idea just where they were supposed to find the four demons possessing the Youshin. Karin had told him before they left that they would be in the castle, and that they shouldn't be too hard to find. After walking down long corridors with many doors, Fred was getting more than a little annoyed. He wasn't happy that none of his companions were helping to check the rooms, either.

"Where the hell are these guys?" he grumbled as another door led to an empty room.

"Well, one of them's down the hall, second to last door on the left," George said.

Fred slowly turned to face him. "Why the hell didn't you say something sooner? I must have checked fifty rooms already!"

George shrugged. "It was only nineteen. And you never asked."

Tracy stepped between them to prevent Fred from throttling George. "I was wondering what you were doing," she said to Fred.

Ryou scoffed. "And he's supposed to be the Underworld's detective."

Fred frowned. "Just because I can't sense this stuff like you guys can…"

They continued down the corridor, although Fred continued to grumble under his breath until they reached the second to last door to the left. He glared at George, who rolled his eyes and opened the door.

"I've been expecting you," a female voice called to them. As the group entered the room, both Fred and George burst into laughter as they saw the first of the demons they'd be facing. "That's quite rude," the demon said, glaring at them. "I'll enjoy making corpses out of you."

Fred had a difficult time taking the demon's threat seriously. Maybe it was because the demon resembled a giant chicken. Actually, there was no 'maybe' about it. He didn't think that he could take a giant chicken seriously at all. He tried to control himself long enough to say something, but just ended up laughing again.

Tracy glanced at them briefly before stepping forward. "It's been a while, Toukaze," she said. "I see you haven't changed a bit. You're still associating yourself with lowlifes."

The giant chicken demon, Toukaze, scoffed, although the scoff sounded more like a cluck. "And you're still associating yourself with idiotic clowns, Kuroi."

Tracy shrugged and glanced at her companions. "I think that one on one battles should be sufficient. There are four of us and four of them."

"I've grown stronger since the last time we faced one another," Toukaze said, her eyes glaring beadily at Tracy. "Don't think you can dismiss me so easily."

"We shall see," Tracy said, her hand hovering by her belt.

"I know your tricks!" Toukaze shouted. Feathers shot toward Tracy, lodging themselves in her arm like throwing knives would. "But it seems as though you've forgotten mine!" Tracy cried out as the feathers lodged in her flesh exploded.

"Tracy!" George called out. He had to be restrained by Ryou from going over to her.

"One on one battles," Ryou said. "This is nothing to her. Let her fight her own battle. You'll be fighting yours soon enough."

George frowned, but stayed where he was.

Tracy chuckled as blood streamed down her flesh. "I haven't forgotten," she said, smirking. "I was merely wondering if you've come up with anything new."

Toukaze jumped back. As she did so, she began to molt, and the feathers around her encircled her in a small cyclone. "Anything new? How's this?" The feathers surrounding her rapidly shot towards Tracy, striking her like bullets.

Fred winced as Tracy cried out. He could see the way the impact of the knife-like feathers caused her body to writhe. Next to him, George had to be restrained once more by Ryou. Fred turned to Ryou. "What are we just standing here and watching her get tortured?"

"Just wait," Ryou said. "She wants to show off."

Toukaze the giant chicken laughed as Tracy was completely covered with the feathers. Without the feathers, Toukaze appeared to be a short, squat woman wearing white armor and a strange looking bracelet on one wrist. Although she still had chicken's feet and a beak. She held one gray feather in her hand, and was twirling it around as she advanced towards Tracy. "Don't tell me this is all you've got," Toukaze taunted.

"It's not," Tracy said, her voice sounding rather different. Her voice was harsher, and sounded almost malicious. Toukaze stopped in her tracks as the feathers that surrounded Tracy exploded in all directions. Tracy reached to her belt, her hair blacker than midnight and two dark wings protruding from her back. Tracy had reverted to her demon form, Kuroi.

Ryou chuckled. "What did I tell you? She wants to show off."

The feather Toukaze had grew in her hand, strengthening to become a sword. The chicken demon watched Kuroi warily for a few seconds before charging at her.

"Yamiyo!" Kuroi held the sword hilt in her hand, and a blade of darkness took shape. Kuroi charged past Toukaze, and then crouched down.

"The same old tricks," Toukaze said, smirking. She started to laugh, and then stopped abruptly as blood began to trickle down her forehead. "What…?"

Kuroi stood up and turned around. The dark blade dissipated, and she placed the hilt back on her belt. "I've grown stronger, too," she said, smirking as she held up the talisman that Toukaze had been wearing, still attached to the arm.

Toukaze began to turn to face her, but found herself unable to do so as the upper half of her body began to slide away from the lower half of her body. That began a chain reaction of body parts sliding apart from one another, falling to the ground.

Kuroi calmly walked back to her companions. "You should have continued on to the stairs while I was fighting," she said.

Fred glanced to the staircase across the room that had been guarded by Toukaze. "I don't like leaving anyone behind," he said. Although if he had to be honest, the thought of moving on to the staircase had never occurred to him.

George took a step forward. "That's your demon form?"

Kuroi turned her gaze to him. She was right with what she had said before about the eyes of her demon form being pitch black. There was no way to distinguish where her pupils ended and her irises began. Even the whites of her eyes were black. "You expressed curiosity about my true form."

George slowly nodded, and then smiled. "Is that the reason you took it?"

Kuroi walked up to him and placed a hand on his cheek. In her demon form, her nails were longer, and seemed to be painted black. "You have much to learn," she said before removing the talisman off the severed arm. She tossed the severed arm in the general direction of where the rest of Toukaze's body parts were scattered. Holding the talisman in the palm of her hand, she gathered her spirit energy, and the jewel in the center shattered. A wisp of silvery smoke rose from the broken jewel. "Shall we move onwards?" she asked her companions.

As the group walked to the staircase, Ryou glanced to Kuroi. "And who do you plan on having carry you once you pass out?"

"Oh, hush," she replied.


	17. 17 Lightning Rain and Shining Inferno

**Chapter 17**: Lightning Rain and Shining Inferno  
[_July 28-30, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"Her injuries aren't that bad," Fred said as the group walked down the corridor. Not long after they had started along the corridor, Tracy had reverted to her human form and passed out from exhaustion. Apparently taking her demon form took a lot of energy, and she would be in a state of hibernation for a few hours. As they were walking, Fred noticed that the injuries she had sustained in her battle against Toukaze had mostly healed, and looked no worse than minor cuts and scrapes.

George readjusted the grip he had on Tracy's legs. He was carrying her piggyback style, and had his arms hooked around her legs. "I guess she's a quick healer."

Ryou scoffed. "She's a demon. Her Youki will instinctively heal her when she's sleeping."

Fred glanced to Ryou. "Youki? Is that anything like Reiki?"

Ryou grunted. "Close enough. Youki is a demon's spirit energy. It's a bit more aggressive than a human or spirit's spirit energy, so there are slight differences. I suppose that you could say that it's a living force, just like magic. Some demons even use their Youki in a form of sorcery. Trust me when I say you don't want to meet any demonic sorcerers."

"Is that how you were cursed?" Fred asked as they turned a corner. The corridor they were walking along had many twists and turns, although Fred had made sure of where the next demon was located before he started opening any doors. He glanced to Ryou, who remained silent. "My brother used to work as a curse-breaker. Maybe he might be able to help break the curse on you. Or I might be able to think of something if I knew--"

Ryou growled, interrupting him. "Mind your own damn business."

Fred watched him for a few seconds before turning away. If the ice demon didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't about to press the issue.

"The next door on the right," George said. "How about I take the next guy?"

Fred glanced to him. "Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine," George said. He stood in front of the door, waiting for someone to open it. "Just so long as I'm not facing a giant chicken. If I'd been facing that first demon, I probably would have died laughing before a single hit was landed."

Ryou scoffed. "Idiot."

George glared at him. "What was that, cross-dresser?"

Fred sighed wearily as he opened the door. "Enough of that, children, or I'll send you both to time out."

Even before stepping into the room, they were hit with a putrid stench. Fred placed a hand to cover his nose as they entered. Across the room was a staircase that led to the floor above them, but the entire room seemed to be a vile smelling swamp.

"Bloody hell," George muttered.

There was a gurgling sound in the center of the swamp, and a greenish gray mass slowly rose from the muddy water. Fred nearly gagged from the foul stench emitted from the swamp creature.

"Don't think that you'll get past me just because you got past Toukaze," the swamp creature said. The creature had a voice that resembled the croak of a bullfrog, and weeds dripped down its body. Its fingers and toes were webbed, and it appeared to have a fin on its back. It wore a tattered brown cape closed with one of the talismans. "I will be more than enough to take care of all of you."

George passed the unconscious Tracy over to Fred. "First of all, this place is disgusting," George said. He stepped to the edge of where the floor and swamp met. "It smells like someone dropped a really foul load in here. If you plan to stop us by grossing us out, well… I'll admit that I don't want to cross those foul waters." He glanced down at the muddy brown water. "I'll bet if I defeat you, though, that the swamp will go away, right?"

The swamp creature laughed. "You? A lowly human defeat someone such as I, Hokuto, ruler of the north quarter?"

"Yeah, well, I've turned a corridor into a swamp before, and let me tell you that it didn't smell anywhere near as bad as this," George said. "It's called ventilation. You might want to--"

Whatever George was about to say would have to wait. A long weed had shot out from around Hokuto and caught around George's arm, pulling him off-balance and sending him into the disgusting water of the swamp with a squelching splash.

It wasn't long before George resurfaced, covered in mud and weeds and not looking too pleased at having been dragged into the disgusting water. He spat out some brown water and glared at Hokuto. "Now that's just wrong! If you want to live in a swamp--"

More weeds wrapped around George, lifting him in the air. "You talk too much," Hokuto croaked as a weed he held wrapped around George's throat. George grabbed the offending weed with both hands, trying to stick a couple of fingers between the weed and his throat to prevent strangulation.

"George!" Fred called out. He turned to Ryou. "Take her," he said, meaning to pass the unconscious Tracy off to him.

"Don't…" George choked out as he tried to pry the weed off from around his neck. "My fight…."

"Don't be stupid!" Fred shouted. "He'll kill you!"

Hokuto laughed. "I'll kill you all anyway. It makes no difference to me what order I do it in. Although I am rather surprised at you, Ryou. Siding with humans."

Ryou scoffed. "I'm not on their side."

The swamp demon laughed nastily. "You should join us. By our side, anything you want can be yours. Power, wealth, _revenge_." He placed extra emphasis on the last word.

Ryou's eyes widened momentarily. "Revenge?" He sneered. "You obviously know nothing about me." He folded his arms across his chest, refusing to take Tracy from Fred.

"Come on, Ryou!" Fred pleaded. "He's killing him!"

Ryou glanced to him. "He can fight his own battles."

"Not dead…" George choked out, glaring down at them. "Hands… still free…"

Hokuto looked up at him. "You're still trying to talk?"

George let out a strangled cry as the weeds around him tightened, but continued to pull at the weed around his neck. He closed his eyes in pain as he struggled.

Hokuto laughed and turned to Fred's group once more. "Go ahead, human. Charge in. Both you and the girl are going to die anyway. Kuroi's nothing more than a traitor, and deserves whatever she gets. Of course, some of the men in my quadrant might want to have some fun with her before she dies."

"Bastard…" George growled in a strange voice, glaring down at Hokuto. For a brief instant, it looked like his eyes were glowing silver. He slowly moved one of his hands from off the weed around his neck, raising it into the air. "Lightning…" Hokuto glanced up at George just as his hand began to crackle with silver strands of light. "…Rain!"

Bolts of silver lightning rained down, striking Hokuto, as well as the weeds that held up George. He plummeted to the ground, landing in the swamp once more as the lightning continued to fall down upon Hokuto.

After George got back up, the barrage of lightning stopped. George aimed a finger at the still screaming demon, who was still smoking and shaking from having been hit by several bolts of lightning. "Spirit Gun!" George called out, unleashing his Reiki attack.

Hokuto collapsed to the ground, and the swamp vanished. Unless Hokuto had the ability to regenerate his head -- which couldn't be dismissed as completely impossible -- he wasn't getting up anytime soon. The talisman that he had worn on his neck lay on the ground in pieces, and a silver wisp of smoke rose from it.

George spit at the remains of Hokuto before walking across the floor to Fred and Ryou. "That was… interesting. Draining, though."

Fred just stared at his twin wide-eyed. "How did you do that with the lightning? I know that wasn't something you picked up in training."

"The lightning?" George repeated, sitting down on the ground and pulling weeds off himself. "I'm not sure, to be honest. It just seemed the thing to do." At the look Fred gave him, he shrugged, smiling slightly. "Let me take a short breather. That drained more of my spirit energy than I thought it would."

Ryou watched him thoughtfully. "Rather curious, human."

George glared up at him. "If you have something to say to me…"

"I'm merely saying that a technique like that is rather curious," Ryou said. "It's also rather stupid to use an untested technique like that in the battlefield."

"Where else would I use it?" George asked, using his arms for support as he leaned back.

Fred just continued to watch his twin. He had a feeling that there was something more going on, but was baffled as to what it might be.

--- --- ---

"I'm getting rather pissed off at all this walking," George said as they continued their trek down the corridor. Fred had been regulated to carrying the sleeping Tracy, as George could barely walk, let alone carry someone else. The Lightning Rain technique that George had used in his battle against Hokuto had drained him of more energy than he'd thought. It was a small miracle that he had not passed out like Tracy had, but he insisted on continuing with everyone, mainly because his sixth sense was needed.

"Which way?" Ryou grunted as they approached the end of the corridor, and could turn either left or right.

George glanced both ways. "I'm getting a better feeling about the left."

Fred knew that it was best to trust in George's instincts, as they rarely ever steered them wrong. After giving the Marauders' Map to Harry back in their fifth year, there had been more than one instance where they had narrowly avoided detection from Filch during their late night wanderings.

Fred remembered one time later into their fifth year when George had even discovered a hidden room on the third floor that hadn't been on the map after pulling them into it to escape from Snape. They used it to stash Butterbeer and occasionally take girls when they wanted to be alone and undisturbed. Fred had actually lost his virginity in that room during his sixth year to one of the girls visiting from Beauxbatons. It had been a one night stand that he later wished it hadn't happened at all.

"Which door?" he asked George as they came to the end. There were half a dozen identical doors in front of them.

George closed his eyes in concentration for a few seconds. "Second from the left," he said, walking towards the door. "The others feel cold."

Fred readjusted his grip on Tracy and followed his brother through the door. He wondered what the remaining two demons were like. Even though they'd won their last two battles, neither Tracy nor George were in any condition to fight.

"Do you know anything about these guys?" he asked Ryou as they walked down the hallway.

"Aside from them being arrogant and presumptuous? Not a damn thing," Ryou replied.

At the end of the hallway they were walking down was a staircase that led to heavy looking steel doors. To the sides of the doors were tacky looking statues of mermaids.

"I take that back," Ryou said as he pushed open the doors. "They also have bad taste in decoration."

Fred glanced around the room they entered. It was ostentatiously decorated with figurines of various sea creatures. There were also wall scrolls and posters depicting marine animals as well. In the center of the room, there was something that appeared to be a giant fish with arms and legs. "I wonder if this guy likes fish," Fred muttered as they walked inside.

"This is as far as you go," the fish creature said. "I heard what you did to the other guys. You're not to be taken lightly. But I, Seisui, will be the last--"

Whatever the fish thing had to say next was cut off as it was frozen in a giant ice cube. Seconds later, the cube shattered, and the frozen fish broke into several pieces.

Ryou shrugged at the looks he received from Fred and George. "A giant chicken is bad enough, but this is just plain ridiculous." He walked over to the arm of the fish guy and grabbed the talisman off its wrist. He held it in his hand for a few seconds, staring at it until it shattered. "Let's go."

Fred exchanged a glance with George, who shrugged. They followed Ryou as he walked to the staircase that would take them to the next level. "Just one demon guy left, huh?" Fred mused out loud. "I wonder what kind of weirdo the last guy will be."

"Don't let your guard down," Ryou said. "Demons follow the laws of the jungle. The strongest is king, but only until someone else takes his place. The three demons we've faced so far strike me as being lackeys. The kingpin is yet to come."

"And I get to face him. Joy," Fred said. He glanced to Ryou. "Why do you want to see the designs for the creature they're creating?"

There was a long silence until Ryou answered, "Everything has a weakness. I have no desire to have such a beast rampage across the land. Make no mistake, it's not for humanity's sake, but because I simply can't stand the competition."

George raised an eyebrow. "You plan on rampaging across the land?"

A blush crept across Ryou's face. "Shut up."

They reached the top of the stairs, which led out to a roof. Sitting on the edge of the roof was a small girl who had yellow hair that grew progressively more orange toward the tips. She held a hand on front of her, and was staring at a small ball of energy that she held.

"I honestly didn't think you'd get here this soon," she said, not looking at them. "I am rather relieved, though, as I must admit to being just a bit bored."

"Are you Nanka?" Fred asked, remembering the name of the fourth demon they were sent to fight. It was a stupid question, really, since she wore the final talisman on a belt around her waist.

She looked up at them and smiled, revealing short fangs. "I am. I've also been paying close attention to your fights. Are you really going to continue with that one at a time business? Because you'll probably all die if you do."

Fred frowned. Even though he had fought against Ryou in his female form, that was different, because part of him remembered that Ryou was really a guy. Fighting girls, though, was something that Fred and George were both taught was Not Done. A man did not raise his fists to a female, period. Magical duels were different, as there had actually been studies done that suggested females were more powerful magically than males. Fred had no idea if there was any different when it came to spirit energy, but had a feeling that Tracy could probably beat him in a fight if they were ever to come to blows. Then again, Tracy was a demon, just as Nanka was.

"Take her," Fred said, passing Tracy to Ryou, who was glaring coldly at Nanka. Fred took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Nanka smiled and stood up. "So you are going to continue the one at a time thing. Still, I suppose stupidity like that has its own reward." The ball of energy rose into the air and burst. A translucent yellow wall separated Fred from his companions by the stairs. "I believe it would be your turn. Don't worry, though. When you die, I'll let your friends fight however they want."

Fred glared at her darkly, and then quickly ducked out of the way as an orange arrow of fire flew at him. After having dodged angry bees while weighted down, his dodging had improved greatly.

"_Male, female, a fighter is a fighter. If you give an inch, you'll die._" That was something that Master Tesen had told both Fred and George during their training. Their immediate predecessor had been female, and Master Tesen had said a number of times that she would win in a fight against the twins, even if they attacked at the same time with everything they had. Fred couldn't remain on the defensive forever, and he couldn't keep dodging the flaming arrows that Nanka was firing at him.

She was a demon. More importantly, though, she was a fighter. She attacked first, and intended to kill him. From the sidelines, he could hear Ryou and George both shouting at him to fight back.

"Spirit Gun!" As he rolled to dodge more arrows, Fred unleashed his Reiki attack at the demon.

Nanka laughed and ducked to the side to avoid the attack. "So you _can _do more than just dance around!" she taunted.

Fred had moved in closer to her during her distraction, and let loose with a flurry of punches. None of them was able to hit the demon, who blocked all of them with a shocked expression on her face.

Nanka jumped back into the air, and Fred took the opportunity to unleash a second Spirit Gun. After training with Master Tesen, he was successfully able to use the Spirit Gun up to five times a day, and was able to vary the power behind each shot. The more power he used, though, the less there was for subsequent shots.

He didn't have to worry about how much power he had put into that shot, though, as Nanka deflected it. The rogue Spirit Gun grazed one of the corners of the roof, taking out a huge chunk of it. Fred swore under his breath.

"Not bad, human," Nanka said, her hand glowing. "You're fast, I'll give you that. If that had hit, it could have done some real damage. Still…" She aimed her hand at Fred.

He tried to dodge all the incoming arrows, but there were too many coming in rapid succession. He cried out as his shoulder was hit. He could feel the searing heat burning his skin where it had hit. He slid to the ground as one of his legs was grazed, swearing.

Nanka laughed and closed in on him. "Now do you see why you're going to die?" She punched him across the face, and Fred was pretty sure she broke his nose. At least it felt like she did.

Fred was aware of George shouting at Nanka from the sidelines, and the demon shouting something back at him. That didn't matter, though. He wasn't out yet.

He took advantage of Nanka's distraction, infusing his fist with Reiki. As she turned back to face him, he punched her with enough force to send her flying back a few feet in the air. Not giving her enough time to recover, he went after her, preparing to hit her again.

Nanka caught his fist with one hand. She quickly brought her other hand down on his arm in a Youki infused karate chop. Fred screamed out as he felt rather than heard the sickening cracking sound.

Nanka chuckled and let go of him, jumping back a few feet. Before Fred had time to recover from his broken arm, the searing pain of more flaming arrows piercing him struck his body. Fred screamed as he fell to the ground and closed his eyes.

"Fred!" George shouted.

--- --- ---

"_Wake up, Fred," a voice called out to him. Fred slowly opened his eyes. He had no idea where he was, but his surroundings seemed familiar somehow. He was sitting in front of a campfire in a forest somewhere. The trees around him looked like nothing Fred had ever seen before, with leaves of purples and blues, and bark of a pale yellow. There were bushes with dark blue leaves nearby that had some crystalline berry of some sort growing upon it. Across the campfire sat a demon with a golden-colored fox tail that flickered behind him in annoyance. "You're still fighting, you know, and I don't feel like dying again just yet."_

"_Who are you?" Fred asked the demon, who seemed rather familiar somehow._

_The fox demon chuckled, and ran a hand through his shoulder length auburn hair, stopping to scratch behind one of the golden fox ears atop his head. "My name is Hiru. But that's not important. What is important is that you wake up. We shouldn't be having this conversation just yet."_

_Fred tilted his head in curiosity at the demon. "Why not?"_

_Hiru sighed in annoyance. "Because I don't think you're quite ready to deal with it just yet. That, and you're still fighting. Which brings me to my point. You have to fight back."_

_Fred frowned. "That's easy for you to say. Nanka's strong. I'm not doing any damage to her, and I've already got a broken arm. She keeps firing these arrows of fire, and--"_

"_Whine, whine, whine," Hiru mocked, rolling his golden eyes. "First off, the arrows shouldn't be doing any damage to you. You're stronger than that, and you know it."_

_"Let's see you get struck by flaming arrows and see how you feel! It bloody hurts!" Fred protested._

_Hiru scoffed. "Put your damn hand in the fire," he said, gesturing to the campfire. At the look Fred gave him, he frowned. "Don't argue with me, whelp, just do it."_

_Fred watched the demon skeptically, but slowly moved one of his hands forward. Fred paused in surprise that his arm no longer appeared to be broken. The demon made an exasperated sound and reached across the fire, grabbing Fred's hand and placing it in the fire. The fire felt warm, but it didn't burn as it should. Fred looked to the demon in curiosity._

"_Flames should not burn you unless you let them," Hiru said. "Especially if they're not real flames. Nanka shouldn't be getting the best of you like this. Now what I want you to do is remember the feel of the flame. Let it course through your body and become one with your spirit energy. Once you've done that, let it go. You'll know how."_

_Fred nodded and looked around. "Where are we, anyway?"_

_Hiru smirked. "We're in your mind. You're getting stronger, but you're not quite there yet, otherwise you wouldn't have asked who I was."_

_Fred gave him a strange look. "But I've never met you before, have I?"_

_Hiru chuckled. "Just wake up, Fred."_

_The flame of the campfire that Fred still had his hand in increased in intensity. Fred closed his eyes and grimaced._

--- --- ---

Fred opened his eyes, quickly rolling out of the way to avoid getting his throat crushed by the boot Nanka slammed into the ground. He ignored the pain of his broken arm, figuring he would deal with it after the battle. For now, the pain reminded him he was alive.

Fred got up from where he'd been laid out on the ground, careful not to jostle his broken arm too much. Rolling on the ground had hurt enough, but the pain was better than getting his throat crushed. No sooner did he get up than a flaming arrow hit him on his broken arm. He grimaced in pain, although the pain was more from having the broken bone jarred rather than the heat of the flame. The flame seemed almost familiar somehow, like a remnant of a long forgotten dream.

"You shouldn't have bothered to get up," Nanka said as she unleashed a barrage of flaming arrows at Fred.

Fred didn't bother to dodge any of them, letting his body remember the feel of the flame. It burned, but at the same time was something he felt that he knew well. He caught one of the arrows in his hand, letting it burn against his flesh. It reminded him of something he should know. Something that seemed like it was right out of a dream.

He hissed in pain whenever an arrow hit him on his broken arm. But he was starting to remember why the flames no longer hurt as they should. The flames were familiar to him because he was their master.

He raised the hand of his uninjured arm out in front of him, briefly noticing that the hand looked slightly singed from being submerged in a fire. He aimed his palm at Nanka, feeling his Reiki burn throughout him. He focused it into the palm of his hand. "Shining Inferno!" he called out. Golden flames erupted from his hand, becoming a raging cyclone of fire that sped at Nanka. The demon shrieked as she was engulfed in the flames.

Fred didn't waste any time, preparing to follow up with a Sprit Gun. He took aim at the talisman Nanka wore as a belt buckle and fired as the flames engulfing her subsided.

Nanka screamed as the Spirit Gun ripped through her. The talisman fell down to the ground, broken. A wisp of silvery smoke rose from the last of the Youshin. Nanka remained standing for a few seconds with a look of complete shock on her face before collapsing to the ground, a large hole in the place where her stomach had been.

The barrier that prevented his companions from interfering faded away. George rushed over to Fred, who sank to his knees.

"Is it over?" Fred asked.

George nodded. "That's the last of the talismans, yeah."

Fred smiled. "Good. 'Night," he said, letting his twin catch him as the exhaustion of using so much Reiki overtook him.

--- --- ---

Fred slowly opened his eyes, making a face as sunlight streamed through the curtains onto his face. His body hurt all over, and he was covered in bandages. As far as he could tell, he was in his bed in the flat above his shop. Slowly, he sat up, moaning as his body protested with aches. "Ow… How did I get here?" he mused out loud.

"Ryou brought you here before taking off," Hermione said as she got up from the chair she was sitting in and went over to him. "You were in pretty bad shape. Karin healed most of your injuries, though. Your arm should be good as new in a couple of days."

"How did Ryou know where I lived?" Fred asked.

"He came here with George," Hermione said. "George was carrying Tracy. He took her to his room before he passed out on the couch for the rest of the day."

Fred frowned. "How long was I out?"

"Since you came back Tuesday afternoon. It's Thursday now," Hermione said. "If you're hungry, I could get you something to eat."

Fred shook his head, shifting to get up. "No. I have a few things I'd like to ask Tracy first." He was curious as to what the dream he'd had during his battle with Nanka was all about. He had a feeling that he should know the fox demon Hiru, although they'd never met. There was also the mystery of why George's eyes looked like they had been glowing briefly before he had unleashed his Lightning Rain attack. Fred had a feeling that Tracy would know, or at least be able to provide some sort of answers.

Hermione frowned. "You should get your rest."

"I've been resting for the last two days," Fred said, getting up. He turned to Hermione. "Let me take you out somewhere tomorrow. We haven't been on a date in a while."

Hermione blinked. "Tomorrow's Harry's birthday, remember? Your parents are throwing a huge party for him, since he didn't get much of one last year."

Fred paused. "How about Saturday, then? You can blow off work."

Hermione gave him an annoyed look. "I've 'blown off' far too much work as it is. Just because you can set your own hours--"

"As well as the hours of anyone who works here," Fred interrupted. "George can cover for you, and it's been far too long since we last went on a date. And with your NEWTs coming up next week, you need to relax. Even if you just want to go get ice cream and study, let me take you out somewhere."

Hermione watched him for a moment, and then smiled. "I suppose we could stroll around Diagon Alley for a bit. I've been meaning to do so to see just how much things have changed, but never had the chance."

Fred smiled. "Excellent! It's a date."

Hermione chuckled as she followed him to the door. "Unless you have to work, we do have the rest of today as well. Today's my day off. Unless you want me to work, that is."

Fred paused, raising an eyebrow. "What time is it?"

"It's about ten thirty in the morning," Hermione replied.

Fred smiled as he opened the door. "Then we'll do something today as well. Are you hungry? I could fix us something."

Hermione shook her head. "I ate not too long ago."

Fred shrugged. "I do want to talk to Tracy about some things that happened during the battle, and then I'll be getting something to eat myself."

"Good luck prying George away from her," Hermione said as she walked into the hallway. "He really doesn't like all the attention she gets from guys who come into the shop. He was hovering around her during her entire shift yesterday."

Fred raised an eyebrow as he followed her into the hall. "I'll have a talk with him about not acting like a crazed stalker."

Hermione shrugged. "I'm starting to think Tracy is rather amused by the way he's acting with her. She hasn't said anything, but I know she realizes that he's jealous of the attention she's getting from other men. I think she's deliberately wearing clothes that show off her body just to see how he'll react."

"Did he close her robes again yesterday?" Fred asked, remembering how George had done just that before they'd gone to Arkayos.

Hermione nodded. "He also said something about checking into uniform designs."

Fred rolled his eyes as they passed the living room. "I'll have a talk with him about her." He thought to himself that George's behavior wasn't like him at all. George had never acted jealous or possessive of a girl in the least. Even when other guys had flirted with Verity while the two of them had been involved, George didn't seem to care. Something was different this time.

Walking down into the shop, Fred could see what Hermione meant about prying George away from Tracy. She appeared to be stocking a shelf, and George was right by her side, glaring at a nearby customer that was looking at her appreciatively. Fred rolled his eyes and walked up to them. "Can I ask you a few things, Tracy?"

She glanced to him. "Of course." She set a box onto the shelf and glanced to George. "This should only take a few minutes." She turned to follow Fred out of earshot of anyone who might be listening. Before she could get very far, George pulled her back to him, closing the clasps on her work robes.

"Keep the robes closed," George said.

Tracy raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I wasn't aware that I was wearing anything inappropriate."

George shrugged. "Your shirt is too tight. It looks like you borrowed it from your sister."

Fred rolled his eyes. "George, knock it off. There was nothing wrong with her shirt."

"I could see cleavage," George said. "I shouldn't be seeing cleavage, because that means others can as well."

"Why should that matter?" Tracy asked.

"It just does," George mumbled, letting go of her and taking a step back.

Fred exchanged a glance with Hermione, who shrugged.

Tracy sighed. "Look, George. My offer still stands, but it's up to you on whether you take me up on it or not. I think your possessiveness is rather endearing, but it will wear a bit thin if that's all you're going to do. The ball's in your court, but you have to do something with it."

George paused, staring at her for a few seconds. He took a step closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Upstairs, then," he growled before pulling her into a kiss.

Fred looked to Hermione, who sighed. "Why don't I go help that customer?" she said, gesturing to a nearby customer, who was watching the group.

Fred nodded, trying to ignore the sound of things being knocked off the shelf. "I'll try to hose them off or something." He braced himself as Hermione went to assist the customer. He didn't want to interfere with whatever was going on between them, but he had come down to the shop to ask Tracy a few things he wanted answers to, and wanted to get those answers before he went back upstairs to get something to eat. His stomach was telling him that he was hungry.

"Oi!" he called to George and Tracy as he turned to them. George had Tracy backed up against the shelf, and was pressed against her while kissing her hungrily. Somehow, her work robes were open once more, and Fred was pretty sure that George had his hand up Tracy's shirt. "You're in public, you two!" Fred called again, trying to get their attention.

He was certain that George heard him, as George made a rude hand gesture with his free hand before placing it on Tracy's upper thigh and sliding it under her skirt.

Fred sighed, wishing he knew the spell used to blast couples apart that he'd seen professors use a few times at Hogwarts. Instead, he'd do the next best thing to hosing them down. "_Aquamenti_!" he cast, sending a stream of water in their direction.

George cursed as he pulled away from Tracy. "Dammit, Fred!"

Fred frowned. "You're in the middle of the shop, and there are people around!" He gestured around. There were customers, as well as a couple of employees working by the register. "I need to ask Tracy a few things--"

"You can wait," George growled. "I'm taking Tracy upstairs now. We probably won't be down for a while, so don't bother waiting."

Tracy chuckled while she adjusted her skirt. "What did you need to ask me, Fred?"

Fred didn't like talking about demons or Underworld business where he could be easily overheard, but the look on George's face made it obvious that he was incredibly annoyed at the interruption and wasn't about to let Fred talk to Tracy in private. "Have you ever heard of someone named Hiru?"

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "He was a rival of mine. Where did you hear that name, though?"

"In a dream, I think," Fred said. "I passed out briefly during my fight with Nanka and had the strangest dream."

George placed an arm around Tracy, trying to lead her away. "That's great, Fred. If you'll excuse us, though…"

Tracy refused to budge from where she stood. "What was the dream about?"

"I was sitting across a fire from Hiru," Fred said. "He was saying stuff like how flames shouldn't hurt. It was strange, but I was wondering if you knew him."

"I knew him, yes," Tracy said. "I must say that it's strange…" She made a thoughtful face and looked to George. "Did you have any odd dreams?"

George glanced at her briefly. "I dreamt of going upstairs with you," he muttered before kissing the side of her neck.

Tracy chuckled in amusement. "Yes, but I'm still working."

George frowned. "You have the rest of the day off. And don't argue, I can do that. Ron and Walter can handle things." He pulled her against him before kissing her once more.

Fred rolled his eyes. It was obvious that he wouldn't be getting all the answers he wanted from Tracy while they were standing with George in the middle of the shop. "Just make sure you cast a silencing charm," he said, walking off to join Hermione.

Hermione smiled and waved at the customer, who walked to the counter to make his purchases. She turned to Fred. "That was fast."

Fred glanced at George and Tracy. George was leading a rather amused looking Tracy toward the staircase. "Not fast enough for George, I don't think." He turned back to Hermione. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Let's go out to eat somewhere."

"That sounds good to me," Hermione said. "It's probably a good idea not to go up there, isn't it?"

Fred nodded. "George forgets silencing charms half the time. That, and the idea of going up to the flat to eat while my brother's likely having sex in the other room is just completely unappealing."

Hermione chuckled as they walked towards the exit. "Your flat is rather small, isn't it?"

"Maybe just a bit," Fred admitted as he opened the door. "It's currently walled off from the flat, but there's an upstairs storage accessible from the shop that could be joined as part of the flat. Maybe I could see about knocking down some walls and remodeling. It'll give twice as much room."

"You don't mind if George is living with us?" Hermione asked as they went outside.

Fred shrugged. "We've never lived apart. We even shared the same bed until we were about five."

She looked over at him. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "We couldn't afford another bed at the time, and there was some sort of weird charm on our bed that prevented it from being split into two beds."

Hermione chuckled. "That can't have been fun."

"It didn't bother me," Fred replied. "Well, except for when George went through a bed-wetting phase when we were four."

Hermione laughed.

"I guess it's a comfort thing," Fred said. "Knowing that he's never that far away. George is more than just my brother. He's another part of me. And you saw what he was like right after I died."

Hermione slowly nodded. "I don't know what it's like to be a twin, and I'm not going to pretend to. I'll admit that he gets on my nerves at times, but it sounds like he gets on your nerves, too."

Fred smiled. "Of course he does. I'd be disappointed in him if he didn't get on either of our nerves."

Hermione chuckled as they entered a sandwich shop offering a 'club sandwich that clubs back'. "We would definitely need more space if we were to remain in your flat. I'd still prefer a house, but we'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, let's eat."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "I thought you ate not too long ago."

Hermione nodded. "Yes, but I'm eating for two, and unfortunately, our child seems to have inherited the trademark Weasley stomach."

Fred chuckled. "Ah, yes, the bottomless pit. Sometimes known as 'do you have a tapeworm or something?'"

Hermione laughed. "That sounds about right."

As Fred ordered their sandwiches, he wondered what the likelihood of Hermione allowing their child to be named Little Tapeworm would be.


	18. 18 Broken Tables and Flying Cats

**Chapter 18**: Broken Tables and Flying Cats  
[_July 30, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Fred set a few more of George's videotapes into a box, wondering just how in the world George had amassed such a large collection of porn in the short amount of time they'd had the television. It had been a few hours since he and Hermione had left the shop in search of food, so he hoped that George had finished up whatever he was doing with Tracy. He couldn't hear anything coming from the direction of George's room, at least, which meant that either George wasn't there, or he remembered a silencing charm.

The only sounds that could be heard in the flat was that of Fred going through the videos, or the occasional sound of Hermione turning a page of the book she was studying. Every now and then, she would take a sip of the warm tea Fred had made for her after her lunch decided it would be happier in the toilet bowl than in her stomach.

"I'm going to need a bigger box," Fred muttered.

Hermione glanced up at him. "Why not just cast a spell to expand the box?"

"I did. Twice," Fred said.

Hermione smiled and looked back at her book. "I'm not ready," she sighed, closing her book.

Fred looked over at her. "'Mione…" He got up and walked over to her. "You'll do fine. You've been studying for the NEWTs practically all your life, so I know you've got the stuff down cold."

She shook her head. "Not just that. I--"

Whatever she was about to say next was interrupted by the sound of George's bedroom door opening, and him declaring that he'd be back soon. He walked down the hall, stopping as he reached the living room. "Now I'm really glad I cast that silencing charm," George muttered as he saw Fred and Hermione.

Fred gave him a funny look, noticing his twin was wearing a bathrobe and probably little else. "It's been over three hours. Do you mean you're still in there with Tracy?"

George nodded. "We needed to take a break. We got hungry." A dazed grin made its way on his face. "I can say, without a doubt, that I have just been having the best sex of my life."

"We don't want to hear it, George," Hermione said in a flat tone.

George closed his eyes, as if reliving a fond memory. "The way she uses her muscles down there, it makes me feel like I'm going to explode."

"We don't want to hear it, George," Fred said.

George opened his eyes and looked to him. "She's got her clit pierced, if you can believe it. Do you know how fun that is to play with?"

Fred put a hand to his head, shaking his head.

"That is far too much information, George," Hermione said.

George shrugged, and for a moment, it looked like he was about to continue on to the kitchen. Instead, he asked, "How cheap would it be to ask her to marry me while we're having sex?"

Fred lowered his hand, giving his twin a look of disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Hermione rubbed her temples. "It's cheap, George. Cheap enough that she'll probably get mad afterward for trying such a cheap trick."

"Yeah, I'd probably need a ring first," George said, rubbing the back of his head.

Fred gave his twin a funny look. "You hardly know her, aside from the fact that she's supposedly good in bed."

"She's great in bed," George said. "Bloody fantastic, really. It's more than that, though. She's not like other girls. I know that pretty much goes without saying, but it's true. She's incredibly intelligent, and has a twisted sense of humor that's just irresistible. There's this whole air of mystery to her that I want to unravel. The more I learn about her, the more I want to know. I've never felt this way about any girl before. I think I'm in love with her."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're in lust with her," she said dismissively.

George shook his head. "I don't expect you to understand how I feel about her. I'm not going to let her get away, though. That's why I'm going to ask her to marry me. If you had to guess, what size ring do you think she wears?"

Fred looked at him with annoyance. "You haven't even been on a single date with her, and you're going to ask her to marry you?"

George looked between Fred and Hermione. "You guys hadn't been going out that long before you got engaged. 'Course, you knocked her up, so that's probably why."

Hermione frowned. "Thank you for such a crude assessment of our relationship," she said dryly. "For your information, _George_, Fred and I have known each other for seven years. Even if we haven't been romantically involved that long, I know. When I'm with him, it just feels right."

George nodded. "Like you're meant to be with him, right? Like he's the one, and the reason why you didn't get together sooner was because you weren't ready for him? That's exactly how I feel about Tracy."

Fred sighed and shook his head. "Do you remember what her sister Janice said about the possibility she might just be playing with you? If you really are serious about her, be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt."

George was silent for a brief period. "If she's playing with me, that's only because she doesn't realize yet that we were meant to be together. Now if you'll excuse me." He walked off to the kitchen.

"I really need to have a talk with him," Fred muttered once George had left. He turned to Hermione. "Did what he just said sound stalkerish to you?"

Hermione nodded. "Very much so." She glanced in the direction of the hallway, where the door to George's bedroom opened once more. Turning back to Fred, she asked. "You don't think he'd get violent with her, do you?"

"Only if I asked him to," Tracy said as she walked into the living room. She was wearing the shirt and skirt she had been wearing down in the shop, although both appeared to be rather rumpled.

Fred glanced at her as she sat down in the armchair, crossing her legs. "How do you know we were talking about you and George?" he asked.

Tracy smiled. "I have much sharper hearing than a human. A human would only have heard a muffled conversation, while I heard every word. And while I agree that it is rather 'cheap' to propose during intercourse, it takes far more than that to ruffle my feathers."

Hermione glanced toward the kitchen door, where George could be heard rummaging through the shelves. She looked back to Tracy. "Be honest. Are you just playing with him?" she asked.

Tracy tilted her head. "I'm presuming you're asking if I plan to do to him what he did to Karin, right?" She shook her head. "I have no intention to intentionally hurt him. He intrigues me."

"You wouldn't marry him, though," Fred said.

Tracy paused. "I am a demon in a human body. My body is human, and will age and die like a human. However, I will someday have to make the decision on whether to remain human, or revert to what I once was. I stay human now for the sake of my sister, but she will someday grow up and no longer need me."

"And then the only thing that would be holding you back would be George," Fred said. "Well, if things progressed that far."

Tracy nodded. "Relationships fail, sometimes for no apparent reason. Before I came to the human realm, I was courting another demon." She smiled fondly. "He had quite the jealous streak when it came to me, but that's nothing unusual when it comes to demons one is courting. The act of courting is rather serious, after all. I can still remember how I woke up one morning to find the head of a fanak demon on a pike in my front lawn."

Hermione looked at her, horrified. "He put someone's head on a pike?!"

Tracy smiled. "It was incredibly romantic. I nailed the tail of a feris demon to his door the next day. But the violent nature of demon courting is not the issue. He left for the human realm with his brother one day without a word, leaving only his sword behind."

Fred nodded. "Vanon Rugo," he said.

Tracy gave him a strange look. "I'm not going to ask how you know the name of the sword I carry." She shook her head. "I was rather upset about his departure at first, so I followed them here. I initially had every intent on seeking him out, but I'm starting to think that maybe it's better not to. They don't remember me or who they once were. Finding them would be nearly impossible without those memories. They're the rivals I was telling you about before, Fred."

"Hiru and Yoru," Fred said.

Tracy frowned. "I mentioned to you that Hiru was a rival of mine, but I never said that he was one of those I followed to the human realm. And I know that Yoru's name never came up in our conversation earlier."

Fred blinked. "It didn't?" He tried to think back to the conversation they'd had earlier that day. She was right about how she never mentioned a demon named Yoru, or that they were the rivals she had followed to the human realm. Come to think of it, how did he know the name of her sword…?

Tracy watched him with a curious look. "And you said that Hiru spoke to you in a dream…" She glanced to the kitchen door as it opened and George came out with a plate of sandwiches.

George frowned as he saw Tracy. "Why did you get dressed?"

She smiled. "I heard voices out here, so I came to investigate. I'm sure you don't want me strolling around naked." She paused. "If it's any consolation, though, I'm not wearing any underwear."

"We didn't need to hear that," Hermione said.

George walked over, setting the plate onto the table by the chair. "We need more chairs in here," he said. He gestured for Tracy to stand up. He sat down in the armchair, and then pulled her onto his lap. "You know, if you're not wearing any underwear right now, if we shifted our clothes and positions just a bit, we could probably give it a go like this."

Fred frowned. "Don't even think about it! You know the rule, George! If you're going to have sex, you do it in your room, and not where everyone else can see you!"

Tracy chuckled as she took a sandwich off the plate. "While I have no problems with exhibitionism, George, it sounds like your brother doesn't want to watch."

George blinked as he looked at Tracy. "You wouldn't have a problem having sex in front of other people? I was only kidding about doing it in front of them." He grabbed another sandwich off the plate and took a bite.

Tracy smiled. "You'll find there's little you can suggest that I would be opposed to, if I haven't already done it."

"Really?" George made a thoughtful face. "So if I were to suggest…" He whispered something into her ear.

Fred glanced to Hermione. "I see what you mean about needing a house," he said. "This place is far too small."

Tracy pulled back from George and looked at them. "You're looking for a house?"

Hermione shrugged. "We're thinking about getting one for when the baby's born. Why?"

Tracy made a thoughtful face. "Well, you already know that I inherited one from my mother and stepfather. I've been thinking of selling it and getting a flat once Janice leaves for Hogwarts. It really is far too big a place for us as it is."

"How big is it?" Fred asked.

"It has four bedrooms, although the attic and basement could theoretically be converted to bedrooms as well," she said. "Not counting the attic and basement, it's three stories high. I like how spacious it is, but don't like the idea of not being able to pick up and move whenever I feel like it. The idea of renting a flat seems far more appealing than owning a house."

George made a thoughtful face. "If you're thinking of selling it, maybe you could sell it to them. They'll need lots of room once the twins are born."

"We are not having twins," Fred said in annoyance, rolling his eyes.

George glanced to him. "Didn't I already tell you that you're having a boy and a girl? Plus, Hermione is a bit too big to be having just one child."

"Go to hell, George," Hermione said.

Tracy laughed. "How far along are you, Hermione?"

Hermione made a thoughtful face. "The Healers think I conceived on June 19th, so about six weeks."

Tracy nodded and looked Hermione over. "Please take no offense, but you are looking a bit bigger than you should at this point."

Hermione frowned. "I'm not even showing!" she shouted.

"So what you're saying is that you're just getting fat?" George suggested, earning a glare and a comment from Hermione telling him to do something anatomically impossible.

Tracy chuckled. "Don't worry, Hermione. You have a slight build that many girls would love to have. You may not have gained much weight, but what you have gained is just a slight bit more noticeable on you than it would be on other girls with different builds. If it's any consolation, you will probably still wear smaller clothes than I do long into your pregnancy."

Hermione glanced at her. "You really think so? Fleur's further along than me, and she doesn't appear to have gained much weight."

Tracy shrugged. "Every woman is different, just as every pregnancy is different. Don't compare yourself to others. In any case, if you're serious about purchasing a house, I'm sure something could be arranged." Finishing her sandwich, she wriggled slightly in George's lap. He growled softly, wrapping an arm around her.

"Ready for another go, then?" George asked, pulling her closer to him.

Fred stood up. "Right. George, go to your room." He held a hand out to help Hermione up. "We'll be somewhere else for a while. And please get rid of your porn collection, George, or at least make an effort to hide it."

"Those are educational videos," George said as he moved a hand somewhere Fred couldn't see that caused Tracy to close her eyes and smile.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's go, 'Mione."

Not caring whether George and Tracy made it back to his room, Fred led Hermione out of the flat.

--- --- ---

To say that Fred was not happy at Karin having accosted him and Hermione as they were sitting down to enjoy some ice cream was an understatement.

"I'm not going on any more missions for a while," he said as she sat down at the table he and Hermione were sharing at the re-opened Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlor.

Karin waved him off. "Lord Koenma wants to thank you for dealing with the situation in Arkayos. He says there won't be any need to deal with Zagros, because the SDS will be dealing with it."

Hermione gave her a puzzled look. "What's the SDS?"

"The Spirit Defense Squad," Karin said. "They work for King Enma."

Fred frowned. He had fully expected that he and George would have to deal with Zagros, even after destroying the Youshin. "Isn't that a bit anticlimatic?"

Karin waved him off. "Maybe. It's nothing you need to concern yourself about. The situation is under control. Lord Koenma also said-- Is that your engagement ring?" she asked Hermione, moving her chair closer to Hermione to get a better look.

Earlier in the day, Fred and Hermione had gone to Trina's Trinkets, a jewelry shop on Diagon Alley. They had picked out wedding rings, and Fred had purchased a ring that Hermione liked for an engagement ring because he knew it was important for her. It was just a piece of costume jewelry without any real stone, but she said it didn't matter to her, because she hadn't expected an engagement ring at all since the wedding was next month.

Hermione nodded. "It is. I doubt that Koenma was talking about my engagement ring, though."

"What kind of stone is it?" Karin asked. "How much did it cost?"

Hermione frowned. "It doesn't matter how much it cost. It's just a ring I liked. We decided we'd have it be my engagement ring. It's symbolic."

Karin smiled and turned to Fred. "Anyway, Lord Koenma was looking through the case files, trying to find what he feels are the most annoying cases--"

Fred shot her a flat look. "I knew it," he deadpanned.

Karin waved him off. "Anyway, he found one that would be more suitable for Kuroi or Ryou to work on for their community service, but doesn't want either of them to go on it alone. That's why he wants you or George to go on it with them. Where is George, anyway?"

Since Karin was annoying him, Fred decided to annoy her right back. "He's having sex with Tracy back at the flat." At the look he received from Hermione, he shrugged. "What? He is."

"George is free to do whatever he wants," Karin said shortly. "Even if it is a licentious girl like her."

Fred blinked. "Tracy doesn't have lice. I don't think."

Hermione laughed. "That's not what that word means." She coughed in an attempt to stop her laughter. "I don't think Tracy would appreciate you calling her that, though. What's the assignment, Karin?"

Karin hesitated. "There's an apartment house where the residents are suffering from energy loss and accidents. It's believed to be the work of a demon hiding out there. They need to be discovered and arrested. It's an annoying assignment, really."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Why would Tracy and Ryou be more suitable?"

"Because Ryou can take a female form," Karin said. "It's a women's apartment house. No males are allowed there. If either you or George were to take part in the assignment, you'd have to cross-dress."

Fred remained silent for a long time.

Karin smiled. "No offense or anything, but I don't think you would make a very attractive woman. You never know, though."

"It's optional?" Fred asked after a long pause.

Karin paused. "Lord Koenma says he'll find something else for you to do if you're not interested, but yes."

Hermione laughed. As Fred and Karin turned to her, she waved a hand in front of her face. "I'm sorry, but I just had a mental image of Fred dressed up in drag. Although I'm sure that with enough makeup--" She stopped as she began laughing again.

Fred glared at her. "Thanks for the support, Hermione," he deadpanned. He turned back to Karin. "So an even more annoying assignment will be sent my way if I refuse. Is that what you're saying?"

Karin paused. "Lord Koenma's trying to lessen the amount of open cases, but essentially, that's the idea, yes."

Fred sighed and rubbed his temples. "I just got back from an assignment. And tomorrow is Harry's birthday party. I am going there with Hermione, and you are _not _invited. I don't want my family dragged into this Underworld crap any more than they already are. On Saturday, I'm taking Hermione out on a date."

"Aren't we on a date now?" Hermione asked.

Fred nodded. "We are, even if it hadn't really been planned that way. Point is, Karin, you need to tell Koenma to stop sending me these idiotic assignments. I have a wedding to prepare for, not to mention the fact that I'm going to be a father. I don't want to die before my kid's born."

Karin waved him off. "You wouldn't be having a kid if you hadn't been brought back to life in the first place. And her pregnancy is not the Underworld's fault. Just because the two of you got careless does not relieve you of your duties." Fred glared at Karin, who shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I'll talk Lord Koenma into giving you some time off to prepare for the wedding and whatnot."

"How generous," Fred deadpanned.

Karin smiled, seemingly oblivious to the sarcasm. "I think so, too. Oh! Before I forget…" She reached into one of the folds of her kimono, and pulled out a yellow egg that was the size of a Quaffle and softly glowing gold. "Here you go, Fred," she said, handing it to him.

"What's this?" Fred asked, looking at the egg.

"Your spirit beast, of course," she said, still smiling. "It's really close to hatching, so Lord Koenma thought that it was best for you to hold onto it. And it should help you get in practice for when your child is born. You are -- for all intents and purposes -- the spirit beast's mother."

Fred glared at Karin as Hermione started laughing again. "I hate you," he deadpanned. "I really, really do."

Karin just smiled. "It's been drawing on the energy of your soul all this time, so whatever hatches will be a reflection of that. Anyway, I'll give you until Monday to decide whether or not to accept the mission," Karin said, standing up. "If you decline, Lord Koenma will just find something else for you to do. Until then!" She waved with one hand as she held out her other hand. Summoning her oar, she disappeared.

Hermione glanced at the egg. "Why do you have that, anyway?"

"It was something I was supposed to hatch before coming back to life," Fred said. "I had to be brought back sooner due to circumstances."

"And you didn't have any weird food cravings or anything?" Hermione asked. "No middle of the night bathroom runs?"

Fred glanced up at her. Her amusement was evident, and it was apparent she was trying to keep a straight face. "May your next middle of the night bathroom run take place after George has been in there on burrito night."

Hermione frowned. "That's just cruel."

Fred smirked. "I know."

--- --- ---

"What in the world happened to the kitchen table?" Fred asked after returning to the flat that evening. He was standing in the kitchen, looking at the remains of the broken table.

George at least had the decency to look ashamed, rubbing the back of his neck. "We, er, got a bit too enthusiastic and the table just kind of broke."

"You had sex on the table?" Hermione asked.

Fred made a disgusted face as his twin nodded. "We eat there! What is _wrong _with you?!"

George shrugged. "It just happened. The sandwiches really weren't enough to eat, and we got hungry again."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You got hungry, so you decided to have sex on the table?"

"I can repair it," George offered apologetically.

"Please don't bother," Hermione said.

George shrugged. "If it helps, Tracy offered to replace it."

"Hopefully not so you could have sex on the table again," Fred muttered.

"Is she still here?" Hermione asked, ignoring Fred's comment.

George shook his head. "She had to pick her sister up. She'll be bringing the brat over in just a bit before she heads to work at the diner." He made a face.

"Shouldn't you be trying to get along with Janice?" Hermione asked.

George shrugged. "I suppose I could try." He looked down at the broken pieces of table. "I really hope Tracy wasn't faking an orgasm. After getting I don't know how many splinters in my arse, that would be so unfair."

Fred opted to pretend he didn't hear that. "There's an assignment for you on Monday. It's mandatory."

George looked over at him. "What's it about?"

Fred shrugged. "Karin didn't say, and I didn't ask. All she said was that you were absolutely crucial to the assignment's success." He walked out of the kitchen with Hermione, smiling slightly. He figured George could deal with the annoying cross-dressing assignment. It seemed only fair, really.

"Do you think it's safe to sit on the furniture?" Hermione asked as she looked at the couch warily.

"No clue. Your books are where you left them on the couch, so that's probably safe," Fred said. He held up the egg of his spirit beast and looked at it. "A reflection of my soul, huh?"

Hermione continued to look at the couch warily for a moment before casting a cleaning charm on the couch. "I hope I've studied enough for the NEWTs," she said before hesitantly sitting back down on the couch and picking up one of her books.

"You'll do great on them," Fred said as he carefully set the egg down on the coffee table in front of the couch. "They'll have to come up with something beyond 'Outstanding' when you take them." He paused. "Although hopefully they won't call it 'Beyond Outstanding', because nobody wants 'B.O.' "

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Not up to your usual standards, Fred," she said, turning the page.

Fred began to sort through George's video collection once more, putting those with the most offensive titles or covers into the almost full box. He had no idea where George had gotten all the videos from, and didn't really care. They were going into George's room.

"Is that even legal?" he muttered as he saw the cover of one of the videos. He shook his head and put it in the box.

"Some strange fetish video?" Hermione asked.

"Most of those aren't mine," George said as he entered the living room, a bowl of cereal in his hands. "And what's that on the table? Breakfast?" he asked as he sat down in the armchair.

"It's the egg of my spirit beast," Fred muttered. "For future reference, what furniture do we need to avoid?"

George made a thoughtful face as he munched on some of his cereal. "We pretty much stayed in my bedroom. Except for the table incident, and we took a shower together. I don't know if the fire escape counts as furniture, but she gave me a blow job there. She really knows how to use her mouth. Oh, and we tried it in the armchair, but that caused my leg to fall asleep before we could really get into it. Why's that egg thing glowing?"

"It's about to hatch," Fred replied, wishing that George had not gone into details. A simple 'avoid these pieces of furniture' would have sufficed.

"So the couch was safe?" Hermione asked.

George nodded. "I still think Tracy should take the night off work, but she said she can't."

Fred rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to hear about George's plans with Tracy, because there was such a thing as 'too much information'.

There was a knock on the door, which George got up to answer after setting his bowl of cereal down on the coffee table. Fred continued to place videos into the box, ignoring George greeting Tracy and Janice at the door.

"How in the world did you get all those bruises on your arm?" Hermione asked.

Fred glanced over to Tracy, who was wearing her waitress uniform. He could see that she had bruises all along her forearms, and a few on her neck.

"George did nothing I did not ask him to do," Tracy said. "If anything, he was a bit too gentle."

George's eyes widened. "_Gentle_? Are you kidding me?!"

"You held back," Tracy said. "I told you before not to worry about hurting me."

George wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. "Skive off work tonight. Your uniform's too small anyway."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "You're rather insatiable, aren't you?"

"If you can still walk, that means I haven't done my job properly," George said before moving in to kiss her.

Janice grumbled something under her breath and walked over to Fred. "She could do so much better than him," she muttered. "No offense, since he is your brother. What are you doing, anyway?"

"Trying to pack all these videos out of sight," he said, glancing over at her. "They really don't need to be left out like this."

"Fred?" Hermione called to him. "There are cracks forming in your egg."

Fred got up and went over to the coffee table, picking up the egg in question. It was moving, and cracks were forming along the shell.

He was aware that everyone had turned to watch the hatching of his spirit beast. He was interested in seeing just what came out. If it was a reflection of the energy it collected from his soul, it was bound to be something cool looking.

With a final shake, the egg cracked open. A flash of light emerged from it too rapidly for him to see what it was. Fred blinked. "Where'd it go?"

A fluttering of wings and soft pressure placed on his head later, Fred knew the beast had landed on top of his head. "I can't see it. What does it look like?" Fred asked, unable to see, but trying to look up anyway.

George snickered. "Real manly, Fred."

"That's just too cute!" Janice declared.

Fred frowned. Cute? His spirit beast was supposed to look cool, not _cute_. Reaching up to pick up whatever it was on his head, he felt the beast's fur and pulled the creature off him. He blinked. "A _kitten_?!"

"With wings," Hermione added, laughing.

In his hands, Fred held a creature that vaguely resembled a kitten. Its fur was a light shade of yellow, and it had a tuft of bright orange fur at the top of its head that looked like it might represent hair. An orange stripe went down its back, ending at the tip of its ridged tail that was shaped more like a lizard's than a cat's. Two small wings grew out of its back. The creature looked at him with amber eyes for a couple of seconds before blinking.

The winged cat meowed and jumped out of Fred's hands, flapping its wings to remain airborne as it licked Fred on the face before perching on his head once more.

Fred glared around the room as nobody bothered to hide their laughter. "Not funny," he said.

"Sure it is," Hermione said, a hand placed to her mouth. "It's just too cute for words, there, Fred."

"It better not take a dump up there," Fred muttered darkly.

"I should be leaving for work," Tracy said, softly chuckling. "Be good for everyone, Janice."

Janice nodded. "I will," she said before giggling.

Before Tracy could leave, George pulled her back to him, kissing her once more. He muttered something to her that caused her to raise an eyebrow and smile slightly before she left. George turned to face everyone once Tracy was gone. "So aside from making fun of Fred, what else shall we do tonight?"

"We could make fun of Fred some more," Hermione suggested, snickering.

Fred glared at her half-heartedly as the spirit beast jumped off his head and onto the coffee table. "Real nice, you guys. How is a flying kitten a reflection of my soul?"

"Life's strange like that," Janice said, taking out a deck of cards from her pocket. "Anyone up for a game of poker? Five-card stud, real money in the pot."

"I'm in," George said as he walked over to join her where she sat down on the floor. He glanced over to the coffee table where Fred's spirit beast was eating the forgotten bowl of cereal. "Oi! That's my cereal!"

Fred glanced at the flying cat and chuckled. "At least it's useful for something," he said as the winged cat belched, emitting a small stream of flames. His eyes widened. "Now that's just freaky."

Hermione gave him a look. "Weren't you designing a candy that would let you belch fire for an hour? Dragon Drops or something?"

Fred nodded. "We needed to come up with a better name, but yes."

Having finished off George's cereal, the spirit beast flew back onto Fred's head, where it curled up for a nap.


	19. 19 Real Men Wear Skirts

**Chapter 19**: Real Men Wear Skirts  
[_July 30, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"I'm not wearing that!" George protested as he was shown the outfit he would be wearing on their latest assignment to arrest a demon hiding out a women's apartment house.

Just as she promised, Karin sought Fred out on Monday to find out whether he would accept the assignment or not. As annoying as it was, the alternate assignment was to track down a demon that lived in the sewers who was doing something that Fred could care less about. Given the choice between cross-dressing and wandering about in the sewers, Fred would rather swallow his pride and wear a dress.

Fred dragged George with him to get 'suited up' for their assignment. Karin had thankfully approached Fred when George was down at the shop covering Hermione's shift while she went to the Ministry to take her NEWTs, so Fred had the opportunity to let her know that George was not to be informed that he would be cross-dressing until it was time to get ready to go. Karin had looked at him oddly, but agreed not to let George know of that particular detail.

Once Tracy's shift ended and Verity arrived to start her shift at the shop, they went to Tracy's house to go over a full briefing of what exactly they would be doing, as well as get their 'costumes' for the mission. While there, they met in the basement, which doubled as a recreation room.

Fred had never been to Tracy's house before, although he suspected that George had gone there after his date with her the previous day that resulted in both of them getting kicked out of a movie theater and banned from returning. The house was bigger than what Fred had expected. Apparently, Tracy's parents had been well off when they were alive, although they weren't what would be considered affluent. Just as Tracy had described, it was rather spacious. The basement they were in was larger than Fred and George's flat, and even had a small bathroom in it.

"Don't be ridiculous, George," Karin said as she lowered the dress she was holding up. "You and Fred already agreed to this."

Fred smirked. "I do have to agree with George about not wanting to wear that," he said. "That shade of green should be illegal. It looks like the color of vomit."

George glared at him. "It doesn't matter what color it is! It's a dress!"

"He doesn't have the legs for it anyway," Tracy added as she sat on top of the pool table, sorting through some cosmetics. "Did Ryou say why he refused to go on this mission with us?"

Karin nodded as she set the dress aside and turned to the bag of clothes she had brought. "He said that nothing the Underworld has to offer can convince him to dress up like a lady, even in his female form. He's also convinced that you're behind this assignment."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "He thinks I set this up?"

Karin nodded. "His exact words, if I recall correctly, are that 'it's probably just a set-up by that sick and twisted bird-brained degenerate so she can get me into a skirt'. Well, there might have been some swearing involved, but you get the idea."

Tracy paused. "If you'd made vague allusions to him about the possibility of a cure, we'd have him dressed up by now."

Karin chuckled as she brought another dress out. "How does this look, George?"

George sighed with exasperation. "I'm sorry, all right? I should have said something sooner, or made it clearer that I wasn't interested in you. I handled things completely wrong. Just stop sending us on these idiotic missions!"

Karin waved him off. "I'm over that. Now tell me how you think this looks."

"It's a dress," George said flatly. He turned to Tracy. "Tell her I'm not doing this."

She glanced up at him. "Why would I want to do that? I find a man who is confident enough in his own masculinity to dress up like a woman to be rather sexy. Are you saying you're not that confident?"

Fred chuckled at the look on George's face after she said that. It was obvious that George was torn between his desire not to wear a dress, and his desire to impress Tracy.

When playing poker with Janice the other night, George had asked her several questions about Tracy's interests and what might impress her. He also lost most of the contents of his wallet to her before declaring that she was far too young to be gambling, but even she could see that George was really into Tracy. While Janice didn't seem to be entirely convinced that George had the purest of intentions in regards to Tracy, she gave up on trying to play mind games to scare him off. Fred figured that a lot of it had to do with how George had practically bribed her when he offered to let her pick out anything she wanted from the shop in exchange for telling him things about her sister.

George sighed. "Fine. I'll do it," he muttered. "I'm confident enough."

Tracy hopped off the pool table. "That's what I wanted to hear," she said as she walked up to him. She placed an arm around him and pressed herself against him. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" she asked as she trailed her other hand down his stomach.

George placed his arms around her, drawing her in close. "It will be if you lower your land any more," he muttered before kissing her.

Fred rolled his eyes and turned away from them. He was glad his twin had finally found a girl he wanted to be with for more than just one night, but really didn't want to watch. "So this assignment shouldn't take too long?" he asked Karin.

"Not if you locate the demon right away," she said, glaring at George and Tracy.

Fred pretended he couldn't feel the tension that was developing. "You're just wanting us to cross-dress, aren't you?"

Tracy broke apart from George, smiling slightly. "This seems more like an assignment in humility, if you ask me. An Underworld detective must be able to put aside their pride to complete the task at hand, right?"

Karin paused. "No, Lord Koenma wants to clear out some of the backlog of case files, and I suggested this one because I just want to see them cross-dress."

Fred's eye twitched. "Let's just get this over with," he muttered as he grabbed the dress out of Karin's hands.

This was not what he imagined at all when he agreed to become the Underworld's detective. He hadn't even agreed so much to become their detective, even. He was tricked into it, really. Still, as he changed clothes in the bathroom, he decided that it was far easier to pretend that Karin agreed with Tracy's suggestion that it was supposed to be an assignment in humility, as Fred found that to be a far better reason to wear a dress than Karin just wanting him to cross-dress.

"We need to find some padding for your chest," Tracy said once Fred emerged from the bathroom. "You look almost as flat-chested as Karin."

Karin scowled at her. "What did you just say?!"

Fred looked down at himself, and then to Karin. "I think it's just the cut of the dress," he said, trying to calm Karin down. "I'm pretty sure that you actually have bigger boobs than me, since I don't have any at all." He rubbed his head where Karin slammed her oar over it.

"Pretty sure?!" she screeched. "You better be sure!"

"I don't think red is really your color," George said, snickering. "It clashes with your hair. Not to mention all those freckles."

Tracy chuckled. "I think a nice green or blue would bring out his eyes more. Although we must do something about his hair."

George nodded. "That's what magic is for."

Fred frowned. "Why can't we just Polyjuice ourselves into women?"

"What's the fun in that?" Karin asked. "Besides, do you have any Polyjuice Potion?"

Fred paused, and then shook his head.

Karin smiled. "I didn't think so." She turned to George and Tracy. "And when the two of you are on this assignment, you need to keep your hands off one another. George's cover will be blown if you don't."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "It wouldn't be blown. People would just think that we were lesbians. I will, however, keep my hands to myself."

Karin narrowed her eyes in disbelief, and then went back to her bag of dresses to find one for George. "And I'm not flat-chested," she muttered. "Just because you're overly inflated…" Her mutterings trailed off.

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "I'm completely natural."

"If it's any consolation, Karin," George said, "you have bigger boobs than Ryou." He paused. "Well, until he takes his female form at least."

Karin threw a dress at him. "Put this on!" she snapped. "And don't argue with me about this assignment, or else I'll make sure that your next one is ten times worse!"

Fred had no doubt that Karin was telling the truth, and shot George a look that said quite plainly not to argue. George was an unofficial Underworld detective, so any assignment was strictly voluntary for him.

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten bored with him yet," Karin said to Tracy in a catty tone after George went into the bathroom to change. "Then again, I suppose there's no accounting for taste."

Fred really hoped that George hurried and changed. He did not want to be stuck in the same room as them if they started fighting.

"And yet you involved yourself with him as well," Tracy said politely. "I suppose there really isn't any accounting for tastes."

Fred sighed. "Look, George said he was sorry--"

"I made a mistake, didn't I?" Karin replied, ignoring Fred. "I completely forgot that he goes for the type of girl who will spread her legs for anything that moves. I suppose that's why the two of you are so perfect for one another."

Tracy's eyes narrowed. "Did you just imply that I'm a whore?"

Fred moved so that he was standing between them, trying to diffuse the situation. "Er, Karin? Tracy? Maybe this isn't the best--"

"Of course not!" Karin said. "A whore spreads her legs for money. You do it for free."

Realizing that neither girl was listening to him, Fred decided to follow his survival instinct and get out of their way. He wasn't suicidal, and had no desire to be caught in the middle of a catfight.

"Do not take your inability to maintain a man's interest out on me," Tracy said in an icy tone. "If you wish to start a fight, I'll warn you now that you'll lose."

Fred could have made a comment that Karin had already lost, but wisely kept his mouth shut. Instead, he knocked on the bathroom door, trying to get George to get out. "George," he called as Karin directed a scathing comment at Tracy. "You might want to get out here before things get ugly."

The door to the bathroom opened slightly, and George poked his head out. "Why?" he asked.

"You're hardly one to talk," Tracy said in an almost weary tone to Karin. "Then again, if I were a flat-chested, inane child with the puerility of a three year old like you, I suppose I could see your point. But I'm not, so I really don't think you want to start anything."

Fred gestured to Tracy and Karin. "They're fighting over you. You might want to stop them."

George blinked as Karin summoned her oar, glaring at Tracy. To her credit, Tracy had so far been keeping a level head throughout it all, even though Karin had been getting angrier with every exchange.

"Er, right. Just let me put my shirt back on," George said.

"Sakura Storm!"

From the broad end of her oar, what appeared to be cherry blossom petals emerged, surrounding Karin like a tornado. She aimed the end at Tracy, and the cherry blossoms rushed at her, causing small cuts along her skin and clothes where they hit.

"On second thought, maybe I shouldn't bother with my shirt," George said as he opened the door and stepped out into the main room. He had apparently gotten to the point of removing his shirt, but still had his trousers on. "Oi!" he called, trying to gain both girls' attention. "There's no need to fight!"

Tracy glanced to him briefly before calmly holding a hand in front of her, aiming it at Karin, who was charging at her with her oar. Before Karin could get to her, a large ball of whirling green and blue energy hit blasted out of the palm of Tracy's hand, slamming into Karin and knocking her across the room against the wall.

George went up to Tracy, standing in front of her and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I mean it. Stop."

"If she attacks, I will defend myself," she said calmly.

George glanced over to Karin, who was getting up, glaring at Tracy. "Knock it off, Karin," he said. "I don't know what you hope to accomplish by fighting with Tracy, but it better not be about me."

"It was," Fred said, making sure to have a lot of distance between himself and everyone.

Karin huffed. "She's nothing more than a cheap slut with no morals."

Tracy glared at her. "You don't even know what you're talking about, so keep your mouth shut."

George wrapped his arms around Tracy protectively as he glared at Karin. "She's not like that at all, Karin. All you're doing right now is proving why things wouldn't have worked between us. I'd advise you to just get over it, move on, and find someone who actually cares, because I _don't_."

Karin looked at him with a stunned expression on her face, as though she'd just been slapped. After a long silence, she turned to Fred. "I'll meet you guys at the apartment house in an hour," she said in a business-like tone. She held out her hand holding her oar and vanished.

Fred turned to George and Tracy. "She gives us our assignments," he said.

George looked over to him. "That doesn't mean she has the right to dictate our lives. If she was saying crap like that about Hermione, I know you wouldn't stand for it, either."

"I can fight my own battles, George," Tracy said, although she was smiling slightly.

"I know you can," George said, pulling back slightly so he could look her over. "But she needs to realize that things are over between her and me. There never really was anything between her and me, except for a few times we fooled around. Let me see your injuries." He took one of her arms into his hands, gently raising it so he could see her cuts better.

"They're just scratches," she protested, watching him with a contemplative expression on her face.

George glanced up at her briefly before looking back at her arm. "This one's bleeding slightly," he said. He raised her arm up slightly and lowered his head to meet it. He licked the wound on her forearm, and then raised his head up to meet her questioning gaze. "It should be healed in no time," he declared as he let go of her arm.

Tracy glanced at her arm, and then back at him. She stepped closer to him and pulled him down into a passionate kiss that seemed to surprise George at first before he reciprocated.

"Er, you guys?" Fred tried to get their attention. They didn't seem to be paying him any attention, as Tracy was backing George toward the pool table. "I'm still here."

Not breaking the kiss, Tracy swept an arm across the table, knocking various tubes, compacts, and bottles of cosmetics to the floor. She pulled back from George slightly. "I want you now," she murmured before resuming the kiss.

Realizing that they weren't paying the slightest bit of attention to him, Fred sighed and walked toward the staircase. "I'll be upstairs," he said loudly, although he had a feeling that they hadn't heard him at all.

--- --- ---

"I do wish to apologize if you felt the least bit uncomfortable, Fred," Tracy said as she walked with Fred and George toward Westerly Hall, an all-women housing unit. It was a building that had about a dozen rooms that were rented out to women, with the strict rule that no males were allowed to visit or live there.

After she and George had finished having sex on top of the pool table -- very loudly, Fred thought, as he could heard them from upstairs in the living room -- she had finished their 'makeovers', getting them to look like convincing women.

Fred grunted with annoyance. "You couldn't have at least waited until I was completely out of the room?"

Tracy at least had the decency to blush. "For a demon, having your blood tasted is an extremely arousing experience. Combined with everything else that happened in there…" She let her voice trail off.

"Your sister wasn't too happy," Fred said. "She said that your loud screaming interrupted her concentration when she was fighting a boss in some video game she was playing."

"Next time I'll cast a silencing charm," George said.

"Next time you'll wait until I'm completely out of the room before pulling your pants down and starting in on her," Fred shot back.

Just as she promised, Karin met them on the steps of Westerly Hall. "I've spoken with the office manager there, who has agreed to take you on a tour of the premises. I told her that cousins of a friend of mine had just recently come to town, and were in need of a place to stay. You guys," she pointed to Fred and George, "are supposed to be foreigners, so try not to speak too much. Keep it brief."

"What are our names supposed to be?" Fred asked.

Karin frowned. "Make them up yourselves. And at least try to sound like a girl when you do speak. Your voices are far too deep."

Fred glanced to George, who had moved a bit closer to Tracy, and then glanced back to Karin. "Are you coming with us?"

Karin shook her head. "I have to head back to the Underworld for further orders." She walked past them down the steps. "Ms. Jenkins is waiting for you, so I suggest you get it over with." She paused. "And Fred? Your boobs are lopsided."

Fred adjusted the padding he wore as Karin walked off. After satisfied that he no longer looked lopsided, he walked into the building with Tracy and George. He honestly did not expect that anyone would believe he or George were women, even after the expert makeup job that Tracy had done on both of them. Then again, that was mainly because he knew they weren't women. He supposed some people might have been fooled, as some guy had hit on him while they were walking down the street. He would be extremely relieved when he could go home and take off the makeup. Scratch that. He was hoping to meet Hermione once the NEWTs got out at the Ministry, and his clothes were still at Tracy's. He did _not_ want to be seen by anyone who knew him while wearing a dress.

"You must be the girls Miss Catamaran was talking about," a plump middle-aged woman said as she approached them. "I'm Loretta Jenkins, but that would be Ms. Jenkins to you. What are your names?"

Tracy smiled politely. "My name is Tracy, and these are my cousins Lala and Lulu."

Fred shot Tracy an odd look before turning to Ms. Jenkins.

"We not from country here," George said in a high falsetto and a fake accent. "We from far away."

Ms. Jenkins gave him a weird look. "Right, er… Which one are you?"

"Lala," George said in his ridiculously high falsetto. "Our parents not right in head when named us."

"Well, let me give you the tour of the place," Ms. Jenkins said. She had started to turn to walk away when she paused. "Good heavens, child, what happened to your arms?" She grabbed one of Tracy's arms and held it up. "There's scratches and bruises all over you. Did some _man _give you these?" She said the word 'man' like it was a dirty word.

Tracy pulled her arm out of the older woman's grasp. "I had a misunderstanding with a cat," she replied.

Ms. Jenkins frowned. "That would explain the scratches, but what of the bruises? Surely no cat gave you those."

"I did receive them from my lover, but only because I asked him to get rough and violent with me," Tracy said. "I find it a turn-on to have him hold me down and twist on my arms while he penetrates me with his throbbing--"

Fred cleared his throat loudly to interrupt her, not wanting to hear the details about what she and George had been doing exactly. Especially if she was about to wax poetic about it. He was sure that Ms. Jenkins didn't, either.

Tracy glanced to Fred, and then made an apologetic face. "Don't worry about the bruises," she said quickly. "Shall we take that tour now?"

Mrs. Jenkins led them around the building, telling them more about Westerly Hall as she pointed out various rooms. The apartment house was a place where women in need could go. Many women had problems with abusive boyfriends or husbands, which was why no men were allowed. It wasn't exclusively for battered women, though. Some women liked the low-cost housing, or were simply down on their luck and unable to afford somewhere else.

They were taken around to meet some of the residents, although not all of them were there at the time. Fred didn't notice anything unusual about any of them, and it didn't seem as though Tracy or George did, either.

As the tour drew to an end, Fred was feeling rather discouraged. He hadn't noticed anything unusual about anyone, which meant they likely needed to stay longer to meet the residents that hadn't been there. Unless Karin had been lying about a demon being there. He wasn't going to exclude that as a possibility, although he didn't think she was lying.

"So what do you ladies think?" Ms. Jenkins asked as they entered her office. "If you need a place to stay, we've got open rooms. The rent here's on a sliding scale, depending on your income."

"That won't be necessary," Tracy said. "I do have a few questions for you, though. What happened to the real Ms. Jenkins, for instance?"

Fred turned to Tracy in surprise, and then looked to Ms. Jenkins, who frowned.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ms. Jenkins said in a low tone.

George scoffed. "Humans don't radiate demonic energy," he said in his normal voice.

Fred glanced between them. "Why didn't I notice anything?" he asked.

"You rely on your eyes," Tracy said. "So where is she?"

The fake Ms. Jenkins frowned. "You don't understand! These women need my help! They have nowhere else to go! If I get hungry and take a bit of their energy, what should it matter? I never take that much from them!"

"Why didn't anyone here notice a difference?" Fred asked.

Tracy glanced to him. "There are shape shifting demons that can assume the form of someone else. It takes a lot of energy to sustain the form of another, so they must steal it from others to do so. As to why nobody noticed a difference in personality, none of the residents stay for long, or else they mind their own business." She turned back to Ms. Jenkins. "Where is she?" Tracy repeated patiently.

The fake Ms. Jenkins' bottom lip quivered. "They need me here. When I came here, she took me in. She didn't care what I'd done, just that I needed help. She wanted to help me, just like she wanted to help all these girls. It wasn't fair, what happened to her."

"What happened?" Tracy asked again.

"One of the girls staying here had just gotten out of a bad relationship," the shape shifter said. "Her ex found out where she was staying somehow. When Ms. Jenkins went home one night, he followed her, trying to get information out of her. When her body was found, it wasn't recognizable at all, it was in such bad shape. Without her, this place would close down. So I became her. I don't like taking energy from these girls, so I try not to take too much. Sometimes I'll take too much, though, and they'll have accidents, like falling down the stairs, or slipping in the showers. But what other choice is there?" She fell silent, and placed her face in her hands to hide her tears.

Fred glanced to George and Tracy. He didn't know whether or not to believe the demon's story, but if it were true, then they were in a bit of a dilemma. If it was true, the shape shifter was acting for a good cause, although she was endangering the lives of the women she wanted to protect. He had no idea what they should do in such a situation.

"What happened to the man who murdered the real Ms. Jenkins?" George asked.

The demon looked up at him, her eyes growing dark. "He won't be found. Not all of him, at least. I made sure of that."

Fred closed his eyes and sighed. "You'll stay here, won't you?" he asked, opening his eyes. "We need to discuss a few things in private, and then we'll be back." He stood up, gesturing for Tracy and George to follow him outside.

Going outside, Fred sat down on the steps, trying to think. "What do you guys think?"

Tracy leaned up against the railing and lit a cigarette. "There are holes in her story, but I believe that she's more or less telling the truth."

George nodded, leaning against the railing next to Tracy. "I'm not getting any real negative vibes from her. I believe her."

"Should we arrest her?" Fred asked. "I mean, she's needed here."

Tracy exhaled a bit of smoke. "She's not irreplaceable, that's the thing. She only thinks she is. This isn't a women's shelter. Even if it was, a real women's shelter is usually run by an agency, not an individual."

George glanced to her. "She might have just been a private landlady who opened her building to women in need. Like if you decided to let people in need stay at your house until they got back on their feet."

"There's a difference between allowing people to stay at a private residence and allowing them to rent rooms at a commercial property like an apartment house," Tracy said. "That's hardly the issue, though. Whether this place closes down or not, she strongly implied that she killed a man."

"And he killed the real Ms. Jenkins," George said.

"She's also stealing the energy off the women who stay here," Fred pointed out, his brows furrowed in thought. "They're even having accidents because of it. It's only a matter of time before someone dies in one of the accidents."

George shrugged. "Maybe we could convince her to steal the energy of lowlifes who deserve it instead."

Tracy took a drag off her cigarette. "That's a dangerous line of thought, George. A human life is a human life. Who's to say that one person deserves death over another?"

"I'm not talking about killing them!" George protested. "Just taking a little bit of energy from people like this guy who killed the real Ms. Jenkins. Let criminals get into accidents."

Fred shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He really didn't know whether to arrest the shape-shifting demon or not. "Do we arrest her or let her go?"

"It's not your job to place her on trial," Tracy said, exhaling a bit of smoke. "Just as I turned myself in for my role in the theft of the relics from the Underworld, she too needs accept responsibility for her crimes. Particularly since murder might be among them."

"It was justified," George said.

"That's a matter of opinion, and not for us to decide," Tracy replied. "In the human world, it is not up to a police officer to determine whether the criminal they were sent to apprehend is justified in their crime or not. That is a matter for the courts to decide."

"What about the women here?" Fred asked. "If we arrest this demon, what will happen to them?"

Tracy took a drag off her cigarette. "I don't think this is a women's shelter, but someone will take over regardless. Just because the landlord of a place dies, does not mean its tenants will be sent into the streets. Besides, even though Ms. Jenkins' body might not have been identified at the time of death, forensics will likely identify her at some point. Not to mention if there were witnesses to either crime."

George frowned. "Witnesses?"

Tracy nodded. "I find it unlikely that nobody saw anything. For instance, how did this demon know who killed Ms. Jenkins, unless she spoke to a witness or saw the murder happen herself? If there was a witness, the demon's charade could come to an end at any point of time. If there was not a witness, then the demon either did nothing to prevent a murder as she watched, or killed a man based off conjecture alone if she hadn't been present but assumed he was responsible." She took a drag off her cigarette. "There's also the issue that taking a human life is a one way ticket to Underworld prison for a demon. If it's found there's a very good reason, the sentence will be light. But there will be a sentence."

Fred folded his arms across his chest. "Assuming she killed him."

Tracy nodded. "Assuming she did, it is your obligation to arrest her, regardless of any other external circumstances. If I were to kill a human, I would expect you to do the same with me."

"You would probably turn yourself in, though," Fred said, glancing up at her.

"More likely than not," Tracy replied. "The decision on whether to arrest the shape shifter isn't up to me, though."

George frowned. "But where would everyone here go?"

"They would stay here for now," Tracy said, taking a drag off her cigarette. "Perhaps nobody new would be allowed to rent here for a while, but the women currently here would be allowed to stay for the duration of their lease so long as they paid their rent. And they legally would need thirty days' notice if they were asked to leave."

Fred sighed and stood up. He knew it wasn't an easy decision, but Tracy had many logical points. He sympathized with the shape shifter's plight, but realized there was a lot that just didn't add up under scrutiny. "I really don't like this assignment," he said. "And not just because I had to wear a dress." He gestured down at himself.

George looked to him. "You're not going to arrest her, are you?"

Fred nodded. "I can't ignore that she committed crimes just because she told us that she had good reasons for doing so. She might have been making the whole thing up, for all we know. Whether she killed someone or not, she's still stealing humans' energy, and people are getting hurt because of it."

Not waiting for either of them to follow him, Fred walked back up the stairs again, entering Westerly Hall once more. He would be exchanging words with Karin once this assignment was over, although he'd probably do so away from George and Tracy.

When he re-entered Ms. Jenkins' office, it was empty. He frowned, looking around for anything out of place. He turned to George and Tracy, who had followed him. "She's gone," he said, stating the obvious.

"And that surprises you why?" Tracy asked, raising an eyebrow and closing the door behind them.

"She's not gone," George said, glancing around the room. "I can sense her."

Fred folded his arms across his chest and sat down in one of the chairs, staring petulantly at a potted fern on the desk that was gently swaying in the breeze. He really wished that he had the ability to sense these things like George did. During their training with Master Tesen, he and George were supposed to work on building their ability to sense other life forms by capturing a rabbit released in a dark room. Fred hadn't done so well, capturing it only when it hopped up to him by chance after he had given up after an hour and sat down. George found his rabbit in five minutes.

"Don't either of you know any spells to reveal what is hidden?" Tracy asked.

George glanced to her. "There's a spell that reveals the presence of a human, but I never bothered to learn it. It never really struck me as having too many interesting uses. Would it even work on a demon?"

Tracy shrugged. "Probably not."

Fred didn't say anything as he continued to stare at the fern on the desk. He wondered how it was that the leaves were moving when there wasn't any real breeze in the room. The window was closed, and there weren't any fans on. He frowned in thought, and sat up a little straighter. "What forms can a shape shifting demon take?"

Tracy glanced over to him. "A shape shifter like this one can take the form of any living thing. People, animals--"

"Plants?" Fred asked, still staring at the fern. Maybe he was just imagining it, but if he stared at it hard enough, he could make out a vague demonic aura to it.

Tracy and George glanced to the fern that Fred was staring at. He half-expected them to disagree with him, but neither of them did. "Last I checked, plants don't sweat," George said as droplets of moisture ran down the fronded leaves.

Fred pulled out the Spirit Cuffs he had been given for arrest and transport from where he had hidden them down the front of his dress. In the blink of an eye, the fern on the desk suddenly changed into a seven-foot tall beast covered in fur. It swiped at Fred with one of its paws, and the padding he wore on his chest spilled out as he fell back in his chair.

Tracy held out a hand, and a ball of swirling blue and green energy blasted the monster into the wall behind it. "Don't let this become a real fight," she said, taking a defensive stance. "Take it down."

Fred grimaced in pain as he picked himself up off the floor. He grabbed the Spirit Cuffs from the ground as the monster got back up.

George took aim at the monster. "Spirit Gun!" A small blast of energy hit the monster, causing it to roar in pain as it tore through its shoulder.

Fred moved quickly, slapping one of the cuffs around the wrist of the monster. He dodged as it tried to swipe at him with its other arm, twisting the cuffed arm behind its back. The monster screamed in pain, transforming once more to a humanoid creature with leathery green skin.

"Let me go!" she screamed. "You don't understand!"

"If you were truly innocent, you wouldn't have tried to hide from us and attack," Fred reasoned as he placed the other cuff on the other wrist of the shape-shifting demon.

There was a flash of light as the handcuffs were secured. The demon vanished from sight, and the handcuffs fell to the ground, their job done. The Spirit Cuffs were similar to a portkey in many ways. Once both ends were secured around the wrists of a suspect, the suspect would instantly be transported into a room in the Underworld used for booking demons that were under arrest. The Spirit Cuffs themselves would remain behind in the human realm for future use. George had experimented with them when they had first received them, much to the annoyance of Koenma, who had to arrange for George to be transported back to the human realm. It was decided that Fred hang onto them for safekeeping after that.

Fred looked to George and Tracy. "Let's go home and get out of these clothes."

--- --- ---

Fred figured that he must have misheard what time that day's NEWTs would be letting out. He had planned on meeting Hermione at the Ministry and walking her back home after taking off the makeup and changing into his regular clothes at Tracy's house. George would have hung around with Tracy were it not for her saying that she had something to do before getting ready for work that night. Fred figured that was probably for the best, and reminded his brother that Tracy did have a life that didn't necessarily involve him.

"You don't think she's seeing some other bloke, do you?" George asked as they walked up the steps that led to their flat after discovering that Hermione had already left the Ministry that day. "I mean, I don't think she is, but what do you think?"

Fred sighed. "I think you need to ask her that yourself," he said, opening the door to their flat.

His jaw dropped as he entered the flat, where Hermione was casting a charm to tidy the place up. The couch had stuffing poking out of many tears in it, and there were books, papers, and miscellaneous other objects scattered about. George's shelf of 'educational videos' was on the ground, videos strewn everywhere. "Were we robbed?" he asked as he entered.

Hermione glanced over to him and frowned. "That's what I thought when I got back just a few minutes ago," she said. "But no, you just left Moonshine and Crookshanks unsupervised all day. They're in George's room now."

Fred had named his spirit beast Moonshine, because Hermione had adamantly refused to allow him name their child after any kind of alcoholic drink, and he thought it sounded like a cool name. He was still trying to convince her to name their child 'Captain Morgan' if it was a girl, and 'Jack Daniels' if a boy. He wasn't having much success.

George frowned. "They'll trash my room." He glanced to Fred as he closed the door. "Wasn't Ron going to pet sit?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head. "Ron decided to take the NEWTs after all, remember? Your mother practically threatened to kick him out if he didn't."

"How did the NEWTs go?" Fred asked as he waved his wand to help tidy up. The shelf righted itself, and videos began to fall back into place.

Hermione paused. "I think I probably failed my Potions practical. I couldn't stand the smell of the fumes and got sick. The administrator seemed sympathetic after I explained that I was pregnant, but I don't expect to have passed that part. I hope I did well enough on the written not to have done too badly."

Fred walked over to her, embracing her. "I'm sure you'll do fine. It's not your fault that you get morning sickness at all times of the day."

"No, it's your fault," Hermione said. "It's your child I'm carrying, after all, and if I do fail my Potions NEWT, I can promise you that you'll never have any more children."

George snickered. "So does that mean if you pass your Potions NEWT, you'll have more of his children?"

Hermione glared at George. "I'm not going to dignify that with an answer. The pizza should be here in a few minutes. Did you know there's a Muggle pizza parlor that delivers to Diagon Alley for some reason or another?"

Fred nodded. "The guy who was Head Boy in our year works there as a delivery boy."

George smiled. "And us, the first dropouts Hogwarts has seen in over a century, own our own successful business."

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Fred. "When our child is older, they will _not _be dropping out of Hogwarts like you did."

"Of course not!" Fred replied. "I'd be disappointed if they did, really. They could at least be original."

Hermione glared at him briefly before resuming with the clean up.

A few minutes later, the pizza had arrived. Fred was rather grateful that Hermione was thoughtful enough to get him and George a separate pizza than hers, as she had ordered a small pizza with the weird combination of toppings like anchovies, BBQ chicken, and pineapple on hers. While normally Hermione believed there was no place for pineapple on pizza, it had 'sounded good at the time', according to her.

As they sat around the living room eating their pizza, Hermione told them more about the NEWTs. She had taken the disastrous Potions NEWT early in the morning, and Charms after lunch. She thought she did well in Charms, and possibly received extra credit for having conjured a bucket during the practical when her lunch decided it would rather not remain in her stomach. She had left a few minutes before they had arrived at the Ministry to walk her back, figuring their assignment would probably keep them occupied all day.

As they ate, there was a tapping sound on the living room window. It wasn't anything unusual, as they would often receive after-hours owl orders at their flat. Fred walked over to the window to let the owl in. Instead of an owl, though, a raven flew in, carrying a package that it dropped off in George's lap. It stole a piece of pepperoni of George's pizza slice before flying off.

George frowned after the bird before picking up the package. "I wonder what Tracy sent me," he said as he began to unwrap the brown wrapping paper around it. There was a box the size of a shoebox inside.

"It says it's from her?" Hermione asked.

George shook her head. "No, but there's not too many people who would be using Sue to deliver anything. She's really protective of her ravens that way." Opening the box, he blinked. "Hair?"

Fred went over to see that in the box George held, there were locks of purple hair. There was also a note inside that George picked up. "_'It's not quite the same as nailing body parts to a door, but I figured you might get a bit freaked out if I did that, so I opted for the next best thing'_," he read out loud. He looked back into the box. "Is that… _Karin's _hair?"

Fred raised an eyebrow, remembering what Tracy had said a few days ago about demon courting rituals. Glancing to Hermione showed that she remembered as well.

George smiled and put the lid back onto the box. "I wonder if this means that she wouldn't mind if I gouged out the eyes of the next guy who leers at her."

Somehow, Fred didn't think that Tracy would mind that so much at all.


	20. 20 The Switch

**Chapter 20**: The Switch  
[_August 5-7, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"I'll be so glad once all this is over with," Hermione said Wednesday night as she sat on the re-upholstered couch, studying one of her books.

"You're over halfway done," Fred said, trying to cast a lightening charm on the box containing George's 'educational videos' while his spirit beast Moonshine tried to attack his wand.

"Not just the NEWTs," Hermione said. "The wedding, the baby, everything."

"You'll never be done with having a child," Janice said as she pressed a few buttons on her controller to have her character kick George's character across the screen. They were playing some sort of fighting game, and Janice was beating George. "Once you give birth, you've got a lifetime of crying, whining, and 'can I have more money, mum?' ahead of you."

"We don't ask our mother for money," George said as he tried to launch a counter attack on screen.

"It would be rather sad and pathetic if you did, since you're supposed to own your own business," Janice said. "Who was stupid enough to give you the money to start up your own business, anyway?"

Fred glanced over at her. He and George had been given their start-up loan from Harry Potter, but she didn't need to know that. Not many people knew. He was pretty sure that Harry told Ron and Hermione at some point of time, if only to prevent them from wildly imagining various illicit activities that the twins might have taken part in to get the money. They got enough of that from their family. After their mother asked several times where they got the money, with her worrying about increasingly bizarre and illegal methods, George made a remark that they had posed nude for _Playwitch _magazine. She never asked for details again.

"Is there any reason why you're in such a bad mood today?" Fred asked, trying to get Janice off the topic of their joke shop.

Janice's character slammed George's character onto the ground, following up with a special jump attack that dealt a lot of damage. "I don't like how big sis has to go on all these missions. Especially with _you_," she directed at George.

"If you've got a problem with me, deal with me. Don't be rude to Fred," George said as his character's arm was ripped off. "No! Counter! Kick!"

Hermione glanced over at them. "What in the world are you playing, anyway?"

"_Ultimate Carnage_," Janice said. "The graphics aren't all that great, and the soundtrack is just plain bad, but it's fun."

George groaned as his character was beaten to death with its own arm. "What other games do you have with you?"

Janice paused. "Well, I've got a one-player game where your character can steal cars and shoot prostitutes."

George waved her off. "Pass."

"Your sister lets you play that kind of stuff?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"She doesn't think that sheltering me would do any good," Janice replied as she pressed a few buttons to get to the character selection screen. "The real world is far more violent and horrific than anything out of a video game or movie. I'm probably going to be recruited to be an Underworld detective someday, so I might as well get desensitized now."

Fred glanced over to her. "What do you mean, 'recruited'?"

"I'm probably going to be chosen as your successor," Janice said, selecting a new character to fight against George with. "Most Underworld detectives are recruited younger than you. Usually when they're fourteen or so. Your predecessor in America was thirteen when she was recruited, her predecessor in Japan was fourteen when he was. It goes on and on like that. I'm already aware of demons and know how to use my spirit energy to limited extents." She glanced over at Fred. "You're actually old for a rookie Underworld detective."

Fred frowned in thought as he took his wand back from Moonshine, who had swiped it and tried to take off with it. He never had thought of how old other Underworld detectives might have been, or how they came to work for the Underworld to begin with. "How do you know about my predecessors?" he asked.

Janice scoffed. "Karin lived with us for over a month. I asked."

George raised an eyebrow as he selected his next character. "And she just told you?"

"Uh huh." The next fight began, and there was a flurry of button mashing as Janice and George battled one another once more. "Everything she knows about your predecessors is just what she's heard, but people do talk. I hope that I'll have a different assistant if I become a detective, though. I don't like Karin that much."

"Join the club," George muttered.

Hermione frowned. "You know, George, a lot of what happened is your fault. If you hadn't been trying to get involved with Tracy while you were still with Karin, a lot of your problems could have been avoided."

George frowned. "Karin was the one who came onto me. I'll admit that I took advantage of the slight crush she had on me, but I also made it clear that I was not going to enter a relationship with her. If she wanted to be friends with benefits, I was willing to go along with it. But that was it."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You still should have said something to her before trying to get with another girl."

"In retrospect, yes," George said. "But she should not have tried to take something as casual as what we had seriously. I don't know if you've ever been in a 'friends with benefits' situation, but there are certain unspoken rules that one needs to follow."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Such as?" she asked in a challenging tone.

"There's no commitment or emotional involvement. If one of the parties finds someone else they're interested in, the other person is not supposed to interfere," George said. "Being friends with benefits is like having a series of one night stands or 'snog and go' sessions with the same person. No strings are attached."

"So what do you have with big sis?" Janice asked as she blocked.

"I'd like to think it's something real," George said. "I might not know her that well yet, but I really am starting to fall for her. She's absolutely brilliant. No offense, Hermione, but I think she might have been able to outscore you on your tests if she'd bothered to apply herself."

"What makes you say that?" Hermione asked.

"You always studied hard. She didn't," George said. "Granted, if you count her past life as a demon, she's a few centuries old, so I guess it would be a given that she'd be brilliant. But unlike you, she would sleep in classes like History of Magic. She told me how she once got detention for skipping Potions because she 'felt like it'."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Snape gave a Slytherin detention?"

George nodded. "She told me how he was harder on those in his own house than he was on any of the others, but never in front of anyone else. He expected the best from his house, but they were supposed to present a unified front. Something like that."

Janice nodded. "I'm hoping to be in Ravenclaw myself, although Hufflepuff wouldn't be so bad, either. Big sis warned me about the other two houses."

"What's wrong with Gryffindor?" Fred asked.

"The house of the recklessly stupid?" Janice asked. "Nothing, I suppose. Except for being recklessly stupid."

Hermione looked over at her. "You do realize that we were all in Gryffindor, right?"

"I'm perfectly aware of that," Janice said. "And I stand by what I said."

Fred gestured to Hermione not to bother arguing. He had a feeling that Janice was just trying to start a fight. "You wish Tracy wasn't gone so much, don't you?" he asked.

Janice remained silent for a while as she hit George's character with a flying kick, only for his character to counter by throwing hers across the screen. "I understand that she has to work, so I don't mind that. But I don't like her going on assignments for the Underworld."

"You're afraid of losing her, aren't you?" Fred asked, playing tug of war with Moonshine over his wand once more.

The young girl frowned. "Stop trying to play child psychologist."

"I'm not trying to take her away from you, you know," George said as his character was slammed to the ground. He had his character roll out of the way before an elbow drop could connect.

Janice shrugged. "Good for you," she said succintly.

Fred tugged at his wand again, gently rapping Moonshine over the head with it. "Would you quit trying to steal my wand?" he asked the spirit beast, who roared at him in response. Fred had been rather startled when he first discovered the creature could roar when they were at Harry's birthday party. Charlie had said it sounded like a dragon's roar, and asked Fred if he had been trying experimental breeding between a dragon and cat. Fred hadn't even known that was possible, but Charlie said that anything was possible if you get two creatures drunk enough and used copious amounts of Amorentia. Fred did not want to know how he knew that.

Hermione glanced over at Moonshine. "I don't think I even want to know what trouble that thing could get into with a wand. I'm still wondering how it could open a jar of peanut butter on its own."

"Spirit beasts are incredibly intelligent," Janice said. "They're representations of a person's soul."

George smirked. "And isn't Fred's soul just ever so cute?" he asked, earning laughs from Janice and Hermione.

Fred frowned as Moonshine perched on his head. "Thanks, guys."

--- --- ---

"What's Hermione's ring size?" George asked Fred on Friday morning as they rang up customers in their shop. Tracy was helping a group of customers by showing them where various products were, and Walter, the other employee working there at the time, was restocking some shelves.

"Why?" Fred asked as he handed a customer their change. The customer gave him a strange look, but didn't say anything about the winged cat sleeping on top of Fred's head.

"I reckon that she and Tracy wear the same size ring," George said. "Tracy let Hermione borrow a ring of hers when she went on a date with you last Saturday, remember?"

Fred nodded slowly. "Yes. And…?"

"I want to surprise her," George replied. He looked towards Tracy. "I'm going to ask her. I just haven't figured out when."

Fred didn't know whether he should mention to George that Tracy had already overheard him talking about proposing to her, and practically told him and Hermione that she would refuse. For all he knew, things had changed between them. While George was obviously not pleased with other guys flirting with Tracy, he wasn't going up to her and closing her work robes like he had been doing. And then there was the fact that Tracy had sent George Karin's hair, which Fred took to be a step in demon courtship. There might be a chance she would accept.

Fred rang up another customer's purchases, thanking them for their business. Once they had left, he sighed and turned to George. "Seven," he said. "But you really should wait before asking her. You might end up scaring her away."

George waved him off. "She doesn't scare easily."

Before Fred could say anything, a new customer approached the counter. Fred turned to greet them, and blinked as he realized it was Ryou.

"Why is there a cat with wings on your head?" Ryou asked.

Fred just continued to stare at him in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"Aren't you worried that thing might relieve itself up there?" Ryou asked instead of answering Fred's question.

George chuckled. "He already threatened to roast it if it did."

Ryou nodded. "A wise decision." He reached into his overcoat and pulled out a videotape, which he handed to Fred. "Here you go."

Fred looked at the tape in his hand. "What is this? Porn?"

Ryou gave him an annoyed look. "It's your next assignment from the Underworld. The idiotic ferry girl told me to give it to you."

"Why didn't Karin just give me this herself?" Fred asked. "That's what she usually does."

"Someone shaved all her hair off," Ryou said, putting his hands in his pockets. "She doesn't want to be seen in public with no hair for some reason."

George smirked and chuckled. "Such vanity is so unbecoming."

"I told her where she could purchase some wax to make her head shine enough to temporarily blind her enemies, but she didn't seem to appreciate that much," Ryou said, shrugging.

"Go figure." Fred glanced at the tape. "So what's on this?"

"Your next assignment," Ryou said slowly, as if speaking to a child. He turned to walk away. "Consider yourself served."

As Ryou walked out of the store, Fred glanced at the tape briefly before stashing it on the shelf under the counter. He was curious to know what was on it, but would have to wait until Verity and Dog Biscuit came in at noon. They would normally relieve Ron and Tracy of their shift then, but the twins were covering for Ron.

Fred did not trust George to work with Tracy alone, because he had a feeling not much work would get done. On Tuesday, George had gone to the back to 'assist' Tracy in locating some items that needed to be restocked. Fred had completely forgotten that they were back there when he went into the back to take his break, so was greeted by the sight of George having sex with Tracy while pinning her against the wall. Afterwards, he had exchanged some serious words with both of them. He made it clear to them both that he was Tracy's boss, and George was not to pull her off the floor and take a break just to have sex with her.

"What's the likelihood of that being a 'revenge' assignment?" George asked.

Fred glanced over at him. "You seriously need to apologize to Karin."

George frowned. "For _what_?! I already apologized for what happened between us! I am _not _going to repeatedly apologize for something she blew out of proportion! She has more than her share of the blame as well, and I have yet to hear a single word from her that even vaguely sounded like an apology! If she wants to say that she's over what happened and then turn around and act like a total bitch about it, that is not my problem!"

Fred blinked as George took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "Are you quite done?" he asked.

George nodded. "For now." He looked over to where Tracy was surrounded by a group of men who were staring at her as she made her sales pitch. "That guy's been staring at her chest for far too long," he said, narrowing his eyes.

Fred sighed. "If you don't like the way she dresses, talk to her about it."

"The way she dresses isn't the problem," George said. "It's the way they stare at her that is. Only I should be able to look at her like that."

Fred rolled his eyes. "You're going to have to deal with it, George. And put your wand away!" He grabbed his brother's arm to prevent him from cursing the customers.

"I'm not going to hurt them," George said. "Just blind them temporarily."

"You can't do that!" Fred grabbed George's wand. "They are customers!"

George huffed. "Fine. I won't." He smiled. "I suppose I can take consolation in knowing that it's my name she screams out when I bring her to orgasm."

Fred rubbed his temples. "Yes. Take consolation in that."

--- --- ---

"You really would have done that?" Tracy asked as she leaned against George on the couch. After Tracy's shift was over, they went up to the twins' flat to watch the video that Ryou had delivered.

"They need to keep their eyeballs to themselves," George replied, wrapping his arms around her.

"And you need to keep your hands to yourself when there's other people in the room," Fred muttered as he put the tape into what George called the 'VCR'. It took him a few tries to load it correctly, but it finally went in and began to play.

Looking on the bright side of Crookshanks and Moonshine having torn apart the furniture, it meant that it was safe to sit on the newly reupholstered armchair. Fred sat down, trying to ignore that George's hands were resting on not so innocent places on Tracy's body.

"It's easier to watch videos if the television is on," Tracy pointed out.

Fred frowned and got up to turn the television on. He sat back down in the armchair, and looked in confusion at the screen. "Who's the FBI, and why are they issuing a warning?"

_On the screen, a torch appeared, shining brightly. The camera zoomed out to show Koenma posing atop a pedestal, holding the torch. The word 'Koenma' appeared behind him in bold capital letters. After a short musical arrangement played, the image on the screen changed to the words 'Koenma Productions', with one of the strange horned creatures from the Underworld hanging off the 'e' in 'Koenma', saying 'roar'._

"Uh…" George gaped at the screen.

Fred nodded in agreement.

_The back of a chair could be seen under a spotlight in an otherwise dark room. Slowly, the chair turned around, revealing Koenma, who began to speak. "It has been a while, gentlemen. I have a new mission for you. Instead of telling you myself, though, I shall have my trusted ogre Jorge Saotome narrate while impersonating James Earl Jones."_

"Who?" Fred asked.

Tracy placed a hand to her mouth, chuckling.

_A deep booming voice said something in Japanese until Koenma stood up in his chair, waving his arms. "In English, you moron!"_

_There was a pause, and the deep booming voice said, "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father, did he?"_

_Koenma sat back down in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "What are you talking about? That's not in the script…"_

"_Lord Koenma, _I _am your father," the deep booming voice said._

Fred glanced over at George and Tracy, who had cracked up in laughter.

"_Dammit, Jorge! Stick to the script!" Koenma shouted._

"_Oh. Sorry, Lord Koenma," the voice replied, not sounding deep or booming._

_The image on the screen changed to show what appeared to be a warehouse somewhere. "This is the location of your next assignment," the deep booming voice said. "The--" The voice stopped abruptly and coughed. "I can't do that voice for too long, Lord Koenma sir," it said in a normal tone once more. "It hurts my throat."_

"_Gah! Give me the script!" Koenma's voice could be heard._

_An image appeared on the screen, saying 'Experiencing Technical Difficulties'._

"Is this supposed to be a comedy?" Tracy mused out loud, laughing.

_The image once more shifted to the warehouse. "This is the Yellow Box warehouse, located in the industrial section of London," Koenma said. "It is here that the subject of your next assignment is said to be hiding out."_

_The image on the screen changed to show a bunny hopping across a field of flowers._

"_That's the wrong footage, Jorge!" Koenma screamed._

_The image changed to show a tall demon with green skin and pointed ears who was sitting at a table lined with strange ingredients, grinding some sort of herb into a powder using a mortar and pestle._

"_This is Vallum," Koenma said. "He has abducted countless humans to perform increasingly cruel 'experiments' on, many of which have resulted in his victim's death. Many of his victims were attributed to the work of Voldemort and his Death Eaters."_

"You know," Tracy said, "that actually sounds like it could be the name of a heavy metal band." At the strange looks she got from Fred and George, she shrugged. "I'm just saying. I never said that I would name my non-existent band something like that."

_The scene changed back to Koenma sitting in his chair. "Vallum is not a particularly powerful demon, although he has several tricks at his disposal. Your assignment is to apprehend him, and rescue any humans he might be holding captive. The Yellow Box warehouse is located here."_

_The image on the screen changed to show the same bunny hopping across a field of flowers. This time, a kitten joined it in frolicking about._

"_Dammit, Jorge! Show the right footage!" Koenma screamed again._

_The image changed again, this time showing a crudely drawn map that looked to be written on a napkin with ketchup._

"_I thought I told you to get that redrawn!" Koenma screamed._

"_I'm sorry, Lord Koenma," the normal voice from before said. "There wasn't enough time, and--"_

"_Enough excuses! Just go get me my lunch out of the fridge!" Koenma continued to scream._

"That's the guy that gives you orders?" Tracy asked. "That certainly explains a lot."

Fred nodded at the screen in disbelief before turning to her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

_The scene changed back to Koenma, sitting in his chair. He was rubbing his temples and had an aggravated look on his face. "The Yellow Box warehouse is located on 24 Sussex Drive--" He stopped. "That can't be right. 24 Sussex Drive is the official address of the Prime Minister of Canada…" He picked up a piece of paper and scrutinized it._

"We better not be going to Canada," Fred muttered.

George smiled. "Didn't you hear him? We get to arrest their Prime Minister."

"Too bad it's not hockey season," Tracy said. "We could have gone to a game. It's always fun to watch fights break out."

Fred glanced to her. "What's 'hockey'?"

_Koenma scowled at the piece of paper, and then looked back at the screen. "I suppose London has an address like that as well. Look it up on a map or something. I would also recommend completing this assignment as soon as possible, as I am fully aware of the upcoming wedding, and am willing to grant you some time off once this assignment is completed. The sooner this gets done, the more time you have."_

George glanced over to Fred, who was putting on his dragonhide jacket. "You're leaving already?" George asked.

Fred nodded. "You heard him. Let's get this over with. We get some vacation time--" He stopped. "Er, I mean innocent people need us to rescue them," he said in a wooden tone.

"_One more thing," Koenma said on-screen. "Be extremely careful with this assignment. He is the demon responsible for designing the curse on Ryou, so be prepared for anything." He held out his arm, and then looked at his watch. "You now have about fifteen seconds until this tape self-destructs."_

"_Actually, Lord Koenma sir, we couldn't afford to make the tape self destruct," the voice from before said._

"_What?" Koenma looked somewhere off screen. "Why not?"_

"_Most of the money budgeted was spent on that introduction of yours," the voice replied._

"_Gah!" Koenma screamed before the screen went fuzzy as the tape ended._

"Well?" Fred asked, standing by the door. He was more than ready to leave.

Tracy stood up and stretched. "That was… interesting." She went over to turn off the video and television. "I suppose we should come up with a strategy."

Fred frowned. "Let's just go."

"I know of this demon," Tracy said. "He's highly devious. What he lacks in power, he makes up for in ingenuity. I would recommend going in with tricks of your own. If you enter with Spirit Guns blazing, you'll just be caught in a trap. I presume that's what happened to Ryou."

George stood up. "Shall we browse our shelves and see what we can find?"

"Magic doesn't work right on demons, though," Fred said.

"It's actually rather formulaic," Tracy said. "Magic can work on demons, but there's a trick to it. I forget the exact formula off the top of my head, but it has to do with the base power of a spell and magician versus the base power of a demon and their willingness to allow magic to be used on them."

George raised an eyebrow. "So theoretically, a contraception charm would work on you."

Tracy shook her head. "Contraceptive charms have too weak a base power. I would place no trust in such a thing, regardless of how willing I was to allow such a spell to be cast on me. Spells like that are what I would deem to be unreliable, as there's no way to be certain that it worked. I trust my spirit energy."

"But doesn't it distract you?" George asked. "Not to mention it has to be draining in the long run." He paused and took a deep breath. "I'm willing to take the chance."

Fred's eye twitched. "You can have this conversation some other time. When I'm not here." He blinked as Moonshine landed on his head. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked his spirit beast.

Tracy glanced to Fred briefly before turning to George. "It's instinctive. The barrier will automatically rise unless I actively desire to have a child and concentrate on lowering it." She walked towards the door, George following. "Why don't I find the address while the two of you gather whatever items you think might be useful?"

Fred opened the door. "That'll work. Maybe you could send your crows to scout ahead."

Tracy nodded. "Ravens, Fred. Kara and Sue are ravens. But yes, I suppose I could use them to do so."

After agreeing to meet back in the joke shop in half an hour, the three of them left the twins' flat to deal with their appointed tasks.

--- --- ---

"This is all your fault, idiot," George said, glaring at Tracy as they rifled through various papers on the table to one side of the warehouse. Or rather, Ryou -- who was currently in George's body -- was glaring at George, who had been switched into Tracy's body.

"What did you say, cross-dresser?" George in Tracy's body shot right back.

"You heard me. If you hadn't done that idiotic introduction, he never would have gotten away," Ryou shot back.

Fred sighed, rubbing his temples. Or rather, they were Ryou's temples, as he was currently stuck in the ice demon's body. A glance over to Tracy, who was stuck in Fred's body, showed that she appeared to be amused by the entire situation.

Ryou had joined them on their way to the warehouse, having been shown the way by Sue, who had broken formation when it sensed the demon. He had been heading to the warehouse himself, no doubt in search of a cure. They figured that the assignment would probably go easier with him backing them up, which it probably would have.

They were actually able to catch Vallum by surprise at first. They had even successfully backed him into a corner. But then he had asked who they were, and George had obliged him by going into a long-winded and utterly ridiculous introduction speech. Vallum seized the opportunity to drop a small marble to the ground that shrouded the room in darkness, and then broke a vial of some weird potion. When the darkness cleared, Vallum was gone, and Fred had been shocked to be staring at himself. He had been afraid that he had died -- again -- until he realized that his voice did not sound like his at all. After a quick check, they discovered who was stuck in whose body.

After searching the warehouse, they released any captives they found -- after Tracy modified their memories, of course. They quickly discovered that neither Fred nor George could perform magic while in Ryou or Tracy's bodies, but the two demons could use magic while in the twins' bodies. Tracy was regulated to casting any spells that needed casting, as she was the only one who currently had both the ability and the knowledge. The group was currently searching through Vallum's notes, trying to find a way to reverse the effects of whatever it was that caused them to switch bodies.

"Enough fighting, children," Fred said. It just sounded weird, speaking in Ryou's voice. Of course, it sounded weird to hear everyone speak in each other's voices and with their own speech mannerisms. "Lets just find a way to reverse this," he said as he browsed shelves of potions in vials.

Tracy's ravens Kara and Sue were out tracking Vallum, who they all agreed needed to be captured alive. Not only did they all want him to get them back into their proper bodies, but also Ryou wanted to force him to cure his condition. Fred could understand why Ryou acted as if he was in a constant bad mood, as he had sneezed just minutes ago and reverted to Ryou's female form. Fred was not very pleased.

"That thing better not relieve itself up there," Ryou said darkly, glancing over at Fred.

Fred sighed. Moonshine was perched on his head -- Ryou's head, really -- so he could understand why the ice demon didn't want the spirit beast relieving itself up there. "He's toilet trained. Literally. I saw him use the loo the other day," Fred said. "And isn't there any way to get back to a male form? This is extremely uncomfortable!"

"There is," Tracy said, smiling slightly as she skimmed through a notebook. "You would need either Ryou or myself to assist you, though. You remember what I told you about the kiss of another gentleman, don't you? And did you know that you need reading glasses, Fred?"

Fred's eye twitched. He wondered if being stuck in Ryou's body meant he could use Ryou's techniques.

"Er, speaking of uncomfortable," George said, looking to Tracy, "what happens when one of us needs to take a leak?"

Tracy glanced over at him. "If you need to relieve yourself, just make sure to wipe properly and wash your hands afterward. I'm rather clean that way."

"Let's just hope we can get our bodies back before then," Fred said. "I'd rather not have your girlfriend handling my bits."

George paused. "Er, Tracy? You're not on the rag, are you?"

She gave him a strange look, made all the stranger by her being in Fred's body. "No, I'm not. You would be experiencing cramps right about now if I were. Or should I say, if _you _were." She glanced to Ryou in George's body. "What about you? Is your female form experiencing that time of the month?"

Ryou scowled, making George's face look uncharacteristically unpleasant. "Go to hell, Kuroi."

Tracy chuckled. "Would you care for my assistance in changing you back to a male form, Fred?"

Fred glanced to her -- or him, whatever -- as he set a vial of something back onto the table. "Er, I'm sure I'll be fine like this."

George glanced to Tracy, frowning. "Would you seriously kiss my brother?"

Tracy tilted her -- or rather Fred's -- head. "Technically, Fred would be kissing Ryou. Which would be rather interesting."

"Go to hell, Kuroi," Ryou repeated.

George paused, and then shrugged and picked up a sheet of paper. "This guy's a demon, right? So how can he use magic?"

"Simple answer, he's not using magic," Tracy said, turning a page in the notebook. "Spirit energy can often appear as magical in nature, depending on how it's used. And brewing potions doesn't necessarily require the brewer to be a wizard or witch. It's much like Muggle chemistry. Vallum is using ingredients primarily found in the demon plane, although I've noticed that many of these recipes call for herbs one can find in a simple Muggle herb shop. Only a few would require ingredients from Diagon Alley."

"I found it!" Ryou declared, holding a sheet of paper in his hands. Everyone turned to him, and he grinned. Fred never knew that George could look so evil while grinning, but somehow Ryou made George's face look downright sinister. "This is the curse that bastard placed on me!"

Fred sighed in disappointment. "That's great, but we need to find out how to get our bodies back."

"Hmm," Tracy said, reading a page in the notebook. "The Elixir of Yesterday will temporarily revert a person to how they were in times past. I suppose that could be useful if I wished to revert to my demon form, but did not wish to expend massive amounts of energy to do so. How far it reverts a person depends on the dosage taken."

Fred glanced to her briefly before browsing the shelves of vials and ingredients for anything that looked familiar. "That's great, but can we please try to find out what it was that did this to us so we can reverse it?"

"Twenty four hours," George said, holding a sheet of paper. He read off it. "It's called Cambiare Xerion, and it's an airborne powder that will switch the bodies of whoever breathes it in. He has '24 hours' listed under its duration." He looked over to everyone. "I guess that means it will wear off on its own."

Ryou sneered. "So I'll be stuck in the body of this fool until tomorrow."

"I have a date with Hermione tonight," Fred said, frowning. "What am I supposed to tell her?"

"You can still take her out tonight," Tracy said. "Just don't expect anything to happen between the two of you. I don't think Ryou would appreciate it much, not to mention that it might be a bit weird for her."

"Go to hell, Kuroi," Ryou said, folding his arms across his chest and scowling.

Tracy chuckled and turned to George. "You'll be calling in sick tonight at the diner. I'd rather you not get me fired."

George frowned. "I can work there. It doesn't seem that hard."

"And if someone grabs your arse?" Tracy asked.

A dark look crossed Tracy's face as George tried to fold his arms across his chest. Unused to having an ample chest, he let his arms fall back down to his sides. "You should quit there. We can pay you more than you make there and promote you to full time."

Tracy sighed and shook her head. "I refuse to take a pay raise or promotion at your shop, George. The only reason why you offer that is because we're sleeping together." She paused. "Speaking of which, would you like me to teach you a few new tricks while we're like this?"

Fred glared at Tracy. "Not while you're in my body, you won't!"

George looked positively flabbergasted, an expression which looked rather strange on Tracy's face. "Wouldn't that be extremely weird? I mean, aside from you being in my brother's body -- which would be weird enough -- I'm in _your_ body!"

Tracy smiled. "Not to sound vain, but I am rather attractive. I can see why you get so jealous when other men stare at me. Having said that, I would have absolutely no problem with having sex with myself."

Fred really hoped she was teasing. All the same, he would need to keep an eye on her while she was in his body.

George just continued to stare at Tracy in shock. "That-- No! Just… No!"

Ryou scoffed and glanced to Fred. "Be thankful she's not trying to get you into a skirt."

"That's a wonderful idea!" Tracy said, clasping her hands together and smiling widely. Fred never knew he could look so scary. "Since we're probably going to be like this overnight, we should stay at my house for the night! It's better for us all to stick together, and we can have a slumber party! I can give you guys makeovers! Maybe I can even convince Hermione to assist me!"

"Go. To. Hell," Ryou enunciated, his eye twitching.

Tracy waved him off. "Not you, Ryou." She closed the notebook and held it in her arms. "There's not much left for us here, so we should head out. I can pick out some really nice outfits for Fred to wear, and--"

Fred blinked as Ryou stormed over to him. For a split second, he thought the ice demon in his twin's body was going to attack him. "Refrain from sneezing," Ryou growled as he kissed Fred. It only lasted for a second, and neither party enjoyed it, but it did the trick of getting Fred to revert to a male form.

Ryou violently wiped his mouth and turned to Tracy. "You will not be dressing up my body in any way, shape, or form! Do you understand me, you twisted lunatic?!"

Tracy smiled widely. "And me without a camera."

Ryou made a war cry and lunged at her.

George blinked as Tracy and Ryou began to fight, exchanging punches. He glanced to Fred. "Do you think we should stop them? They are in our bodies after all."

Fred shook his head. "Just so long as they don't cause any permanent damage to us." He frowned as Tracy was tossed against a wall. "Oi!" Tracy twisted her body -- or Fred's body, really -- in midair, using the wall as a springboard to launch a flying kick that connected with Ryou's jaw. "That's better," Fred muttered.

George winced. "Can we stop them now? That looked painful."

Fred sighed and nodded. This was going to be a long 24 hours.


	21. 21 Once Upon a Time

**Chapter 21**: Once Upon a Time  
[_August 8-9, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"--And _that _is why you never pick a fight with a midget in a bunny costume," Tracy said as everybody sat around the living room of Tracy's house.

After picking up Hermione from the Ministry of Magic after she had finished the last of her NEWTs, they had explained the situation to her. She looked to be rather perturbed at Fred being stuck in Ryou's body, and Tracy being stuck in Fred's body. From there they went to Tracy's house, where they had to explain the situation to Janice, who seemed highly amused by the idea, and decided to follow them around with something Tracy called a 'camcorder'.

It wasn't that late in the evening -- only eight or so -- but the group was getting on each other's nerves. To prevent a fight from breaking out, they told scary stories as they waited for their food to arrive from the Golden Dragon, a Chinese restaurant that the twins and Tracy agreed was the best one around.

"That's supposed to be scary?" Hermione asked, giving Tracy an odd look.

Tracy shrugged. "Well, _I _think midgets are scary. And midgets in bunny costumes are even scarier. It's a demon thing."

"I'm not afraid of midgets in bunny costumes," Ryou said, glaring at George. Ryou had been goading George practically all night, trying to get George to lose his temper and attack him. Fred suspected that Ryou was doing that purely for the amusement value. He had to admit that he did think it would be rather funny to watch George attack himself. He also had to admit that he was a bit curious as to who would win in a fight between George in Tracy's body and Ryou in George's body. He took some satisfaction in knowing that Tracy in his body beat Ryou in George's body in their earlier fight.

Tracy glanced to Ryou. "Yes, but you always have been rather odd."

"Says the woman who admitted to be willing to have sex with herself," Fred muttered under his breath.

Tracy paused. "I see your point on how it might be better to refrain from doing so. I don't trust that George's spirit energy would raise instinctively while in my body -- as he has limited control over such matters -- and I would rather not impregnate myself while in your body."

George glanced to her. "_That's _what you're most concerned about? Not the fact that it would be incredibly weird on so many levels?"

Tracy waved him off. "You humans really do need to loosen up. A situation like this is perfect for experimentation."

"No," Fred said. "Not in my body it's not." He was still rather upset that his planned date with Hermione didn't happen, although he could understand why it didn't. Both he and Hermione figured it would be just too weird while he was in Ryou's body.

"George, sit like a lady," Hermione admonished. "Or at least put on some pants."

"I'm wearing underwear," George protested as he shifted positions. Nobody had changed out of the clothes the owners of their bodies had been wearing prior to the switch, so George was wearing the short skirt and low-cut top that Tracy had been wearing earlier. "I never realized how uncomfortable thongs were," he muttered.

Fred rolled his eyes and glanced to Hermione. "How did your NEWTs go? No more problems with morning sickness?"

Hermione sighed. "Whoever came up with the term 'morning sickness' should be hexed, as they're a filthy liar for implying that it only happens in the morning. I have been taking a potion that helps, though."

Tracy nodded sympathetically. "When my mother was pregnant with Janice, she would eat a cracker before getting out of bed or standing up. She swore that it helped with her morning sickness." The doorbell rang, and Tracy got up to answer it. "A little bit of help here?" she called out after a brief conversation with the delivery boy.

Half a dozen bags of Chinese food later, everybody had once more taken their seats on the living room floor. Wooden chopsticks were passed around as everyone grabbed a carton, or in the case of Fred's spirit beast Moonshine, a bowl.

As they ate, Fred thought it was the perfect opportunity to clear up many questions he had about what happened at Arkayos. George wasn't distracting Tracy like he had before when Fred tried to question her in the shop, and Ryou might be able to supply a few answers as well.

Before he could ask anything, George beat him to the punch. "Have you guys figured out names for my niece and nephew yet?" he asked, glancing between Fred and Hermione.

Hermione's eye twitched. "For the last time, I am not having twins!"

George smirked. "Care to make a wager on it?"

Fred glanced to him. "Why are you so convinced we're having twins?"

George shrugged. "Instinct. What do you say? Anyone want to start a betting pool?"

Hermione glared at George. "I have a prenatal appointment on Monday at nine in the morning. After I get back from my appointment, I will wave the results that say I'm _not _having twins in your face."

George chuckled. "And I will be saying 'I told you so' when you see that you are."

Hermione looked over at Tracy. "Do you mind if I slap him? Hard?"

"Go ahead," Tracy said, watching on in amusement.

Fred stabbed at his food with his chopsticks, trying to ignore them. He glanced to Tracy after Hermione sat back down. "Hiru and Yoru. I've asked about them before, but we keep getting interrupted." He glanced to George, who was glaring at Hermione as he rubbed his cheek. Or rather, Tracy's cheek. He turned back to Tracy. "Tell me about them," he said.

"What do you wish to know?" Tracy asked, lowering her chopsticks.

There were many things that Fred wanted to know, but he'd start with the basics. "Why would I have a dream about Hiru? Is that some sort of power of his?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Tracy said as she caught some rice between her chopsticks. "I'm afraid I don't know why you would dream about him. I could come up with a few theories, but that won't do you much good."

George glanced to Fred. "Who were you dreaming about?"

Fred rolled his eyes. "A rival of Tracy's from back in the old days. I had a dream about him during my battle with Nanka at Arkayos. I tried to ask Tracy about my dream earlier, but you kept trying to get her to go upstairs with you."

George rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry about that. I guess I got a little carried away."

Tracy smiled slightly. "No complaints here. You are a rather quick learner."

George chuckled and glanced to Fred. "When did you have time to have a dream, though? You never passed out or anything like that. Not _during _the battle, at least."

Fred gave him a startled look.

"As much as I hate to admit it," Ryou said, "the idiot's right."

Fred glanced between them. "It happened after she broke my arm and hit me with her flaming arrows but before she tried to stomp on my throat. I passed out, remember?"

George shook his head. "No, you didn't. You closed your eyes for a second or so. I mean, I thought I passed out during my battle, but Ryou told me I didn't. I just figured I imagined it."

"Imagined what?" Tracy asked, looking to George.

George shrugged. "I had a weird dream, too. Some demon with a silver-colored fox tail and ears. He had me stand in a field and get struck by lightning. He was an arse."

Tracy made a thoughtful face. "Did he say what his name was?"

George shrugged. "If he did, I forgot it. He was a tosser."

Tracy glanced to Ryou. "And neither of them passed out?"

Ryou shook his head. "Strangely, their eyes did glow briefly during battle, and they both used techniques no human should be capable of using. I know what you're getting at, Kuroi, but neither of them radiated Youki."

Fred glanced between them. "What's she getting at?"

Tracy sighed. "It's nothing. I don't know why the two of you received visions of the fox brothers, but then I don't know everything they were capable of. As I told you before, they were rivals of mine. Back in the day, I was a thief for hire. I wish I could claim to be _the _best, but I know there were several demons greater than I was. While I preferred to dismantle security systems, Yoru and Hiru were con artists. There had come a time when we had the same target. While I painstakingly broke my way in to steal an item, they were working on conning the owner into giving them the very same object."

George chuckled. "The kind of blokes that could talk their way out of anything, right?"

Tracy smiled slightly. "Well, they needed to learn how to talk themselves out of trouble, as they often found themselves talking themselves _into _trouble. But situations like that happened a few more times. I think they planned it on purpose. They were a lot like the two of you in many ways. I've seen how the two of you would double team a person occasionally."

"Not occasionally," Hermione said. "Far too often."

Tracy chuckled. "After a while, I tried to lay a trap for them. Yoru saw right through it, and that was when I really got to know of their differences. Both of them were slightly clairvoyant, but while Yoru instinctively knew things that had yet to happen, Hiru instinctively knew things that he should have no way of knowing, often related to the past or present." She glanced to Fred. "Just like how you knew the name of the sword I carry, and that they were the rivals I had followed to the human realm."

Fred shrugged. "Yoru was the demon you were courting, right? The kitsune with the silver fur?"

Tracy gave him a funny look. "Yes, he was. And I don't recall using the term 'kitsune' at any point. That is what the fox brothers were, and that is precisely what I was talking about before."

George frowned and looked to her. "You were courting this Yoru demon? But he was a complete tosser! He had me get struck by lightning!"

Tracy watched him briefly for a few seconds before glancing to Ryou. "The techniques you mentioned--"

"Did not contain any Youki," Ryou interrupted. "I've never detected any Youki emitted by either of them."

"Of course you haven't," Tracy said. "I would have sensed as a human for years until I regained my power and learned to re-master it." She turned back to George. "Yoru had you struck by lightning. Why?"

George shrugged. "Because he's a wanker. He was saying crap like I needed to get used to it or some bull like that."

"And then you did that Lightning Rain technique," Fred said.

Tracy froze and slowly looked to Fred. "What did you just call it?"

"Lightning Rain," Fred said. "That's what George called it. He had bolts of lightning rain down on the Hokuto guy."

Tracy went silent with contemplation for a while. "Once we have our own bodies back…" she began after a long pause. "Once everyone's back to who they should be, I would like to test something. I'll let you know right now that if I'm wrong in my suspicions, it could kill you."

"You think we're them, don't you?" Fred asked. "Wouldn't I have remembered or something when I died, though? Wouldn't the Underworld have known?"

Tracy shook her head. "There's no way of knowing or detecting where a demon's spirit ends up, or who it attaches to. I know that they lost their memories when they came to the human realm, which makes finding them almost impossible."

George sighed and looked over to her. "Tracy, I know you're hoping that we're them, but I really don't think I'm anything like that Yoru guy. Sure, I can be arrogant at times, but nowhere near as bad as him. I wouldn't want to be him. Don't take any offense, but I think you just want to relive your demon days, and want us to be them so things can be the way they were back then. But they're not. Just forget them."

"Stop that," Ryou said, glaring at George. At George's questioning look, he clarified, "Stop saying things that I agree with."

Fred looked to Tracy. "How certain are you?"

Tracy hesitated. "Not certain enough to risk it without good reason. All I have right now is mere suspicion and plenty of coincidences."

"Didn't you say once before that a demon who enters a human body too quickly will forget who they were?" Hermione asked, a deeply thoughtful look on her face.

Tracy nodded. "It exhausts their energy, yes."

Hermione nodded. "What happens if a demon tries to possess the body of an unborn child who had already developed their soul?"

Tracy paused. "I imagine that would be an even greater shock to their system and even more exhausting. I'm not certain as to whether the human and demon souls would merge together, or if the demon soul would simply force the human soul out. Either way, they'd forget. A demon would have to be rather stupid to try something like that, though."

"Or desperate," Hermione said. "Do you think that Yoru and Hiru would try to be born at the same time?"

"Yoru didn't want to escape to the human realm without Hiru," Fred said, trying to get some noodles to cooperate and stay between his chopsticks. "The only way they'd be born in the human realm was together."

Hermione glanced to him. "Didn't you once tell me that George was originally thought to be stillborn until you were born a few minutes later?"

Fred nodded. "He didn't let out his first cry until I did."

Tracy picked at her food. "Lightning Rain," she said after a long pause, "was one of Yoru's techniques." She chuckled. "What am I saying? It's probably nothing at all."

As the rest of the meal continued in relative silence, Fred couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't nothing after all.

--- --- ---

_Fred walked through the darkness, knowing that if he made one false step he would never reach his destination. He had no idea where he was exactly, if he was even anywhere at all. He didn't even know quite where his destination was, as it wasn't so much a place he was looking for so much as it was a demon he wanted to find._

_In the far distance up ahead, he could see a faint orange glow that broke the darkness. It was like a distant star, but he knew that he was on the right track._

_After what felt like an eternity of traveling through the darkness, he came to the glowing campfire that was producing the orange glow. He sat down across from Hiru, the fox demon with the golden-colored tail and ears. The kitsune said nothing, as if waiting for Fred to speak._

"_Am I you?" Fred asked, breaking the silence._

_Hiru chuckled. "That's the wrong question, Fred. No, you're not me. You are you."_

_Fred nodded slowly. He wasn't sure whether he was disappointed or not. After everything that was said…_

"_I'm nothing more than a figment of your imagination," Hiru continued. "How could you possibly be me?"_

"_But Tracy remembers you," Fred said. "That means you're not just made up."_

_Hiru smirked. "Ask yourself. Who is Tracy exactly? Is she the demon Kuroi, or is Kuroi now the human known as Tracy?"_

_Fred tilted his head. "I'm not sure I understand."_

"_You're human, Fred," Hiru said, leaning forward. "Your mate is human, and your children will be human. Don't chase after ghosts. You wouldn't want to be me, anyway."_

"_Why not?" Fred asked._

"_I'm not a nice person, Fred," Hiru sneered. "It doesn't do you any good to dwell on a past that doesn't exist any more. Look to your future, and live in your present. You would do well to follow your brother in that regard. I no longer exist, but you do."_

_Fred looked at the crackling fire. "How is it that you're in my mind?"_

_Hiru smirked. "You're getting closer to asking the right question. Do you want to try again?"_

"_The right question?" Fred paused, looking up at the fox demon. Just as he'd noticed in the dream he'd had during his battle with Nanka, Hiru seemed to be extremely familiar, like someone he knew long ago but had forgotten. "I'm still not--"_

"_Let me ask you something. Are you the same boy you were when you were five years old? Or ten? Or fifteen, even?" Hiru asked. "You've grown, Fred. You're not them."_

"_But they're me," Fred said. He contemplated the demon's earlier words about asking the right question. "Does that mean… Are you me?"_

_Hiru smiled broadly. "Once upon a time. But does it really matter?"_

_Fred paused in thought. Knowing what he once was -- while it did answer a number of questions he didn't even know he had -- it didn't really change anything. "How, though? I mean, how did nobody notice that I wasn't human?"_

"_You _are _human," Hiru said. "You were born human, you live as a human, and you'll someday die as a human. When a demon reverts to a spirit form, they become just like any other spirit, aside from maybe having a stronger will. When a demon's spirit is born into a human body, they become human. Maybe they'll have their memories, and become shells of what they once were. Their demonic power will return to them eventually, but it will be but a mere shadow of what it once was. But the demon will still be human, unless they choose not to be."_

"_So does that mean Tracy's human?" Fred asked._

_Hiru hesitated. "She is, but she can't quite let go of Kuroi enough to move on with her life as a human now. Remembering isn't always a good thing. She misses what she once was, and it holds her back from making the choice she knows she one day will have to make."_

"_Whether to stay human or not," Fred said, looking at the fire._

_Hiru smiled. "And you've already made your choice, so there's no reason to chase after me. You don't remember me, because you have no need to. You are you, and that's all you need to know. I'm no different than your five year old self."_

"_Will I ever turn into you?" Fred asked. "Like Tracy sometimes turns into Kuroi?"_

"_How should I know?" Hiru chuckled. "I can't see the future or anything. If you do, though, you'll still be you."_

"_And I'll turn back into me," Fred said, standing up. "I would say something like 'I'll see you around', but we both know I won't." He paused. "When I was born, though… What happened to the human soul that would have been me?"_

"_That's you, too," Hiru said. "What comprises a soul can't be explained easily, and I'm not going to try. All that matters is that you are you. There's nobody else you can be."_

_Fred nodded. "I am me." He turned away from the campfire. There wasn't anything else he really needed to know. Without another word, he walked away._

--- --- ---

When Fred woke up, he was still in Ryou's body. He had been expecting it, but was a bit disappointed. He had hoped that everyone would go back to their rightful bodies while they'd slept. Apparently they had not.

It was still dark outside, although he couldn't tell how late it was. There was probably a clock around somewhere, but he hadn't paid enough attention and didn't feel like exploring in the dark. Glancing around the moonlit living room, he could see George was snoring loudly off to one side of the room. Well, since Ryou was currently in George's body, he supposed it was him. Janice slept by the stairs, her camcorder nearby. Curled up on the couch was Hermione, who looked like she was having a good dream. Fred hoped she was dreaming of him. Moonshine was sprawled out on the other end of the couch, sleeping in a most un-catlike position.

George in Tracy's body looked to be having a dream as well, although Fred couldn't tell if it was good or bad. Sometime through the course of the night, George had kicked off the blanket that had been over him. As nobody had changed out of their clothes, Fred really doubted that Tracy would appreciate George's sleeping position.

Careful not to wake anyone, Fred crept over to where his twin slept and placed the blanket back over him. Since Tracy was kind enough to let them stay in her house overnight, protecting her modesty was the least he could do.

Speaking of Tracy, Fred didn't see her. Since she was currently in his body, that wasn't a good thing. He could see that the sliding door to the patio was open slightly, though, so went over to investigate.

"I really hope you're not smoking in my body," Fred said as he stepped onto the patio, where Tracy was leaning against the railing, holding a lit cigarette in her hand.

"I'm checking which way the wind is blowing," Tracy replied.

Fred sighed and stood next to her. "Just don't get me addicted." After a long pause, he asked, "Why do you want us to be the kitsune brothers?"

Tracy took a drag off the cigarette. "I don't. Or maybe I do. Either way, I'm tired of the chase. I came here because of them. Because of Yoru." She glanced to Fred. "If, for whatever reason, someone you loved was reincarnated in some other world, wouldn't you try to find them?"

Fred nodded. "Probably."

Tracy looked off into the distance. "There are times when I feel like I'm betraying him. We made no promises to be together, but I still loved him. And then I came here. I met you guys, and… It's just easier if they're the same person." She took a drag off the cigarette.

He leaned against the railing next to her, looking out into the moonlit yard. "Even if George is Yoru's reincarnation, they wouldn't be the same person." Tracy glanced over at him, and he continued. "Before I came out here, I had another dream about Hiru. He told me that no matter what I might have been once upon a time, I am myself now. Whether I was him or not doesn't matter. Hiru no longer exists. I've grown up. Just as you have. But you need to let go of the past."

"You're him," Tracy said.

"No," Fred replied. "I'm me. Just like you're Tracy, not Kuroi. We're not the same as we were back then. We've all changed."

Tracy looked back into the distance, taking a drag off the cigarette.

Fred glanced to her. "Do you love George?"

"I don't know," Tracy said after a long pause. "Love has always been a rather complex emotion, and at times indistinguishable from others. I think that if I didn't hold my emotions back so much, I might be able to provide an answer." She smiled slightly. "Some of the crazy suggestions he makes don't sound all that bad."

Fred chuckled. "That's a lot of words for 'you're not sure, but you think you might be falling for him'."

Tracy smiled. "And how often do I give a straightforward answer?"

Fred laughed and stood up straight. "I don't know whether it was just a dream or not. If it wasn't, we are their reincarnations, but we're not them. And if you're going to fall in love with George, fall for _George_, not who he might have been once upon a time. He's not Yoru." He gestured to the sliding door. "I'm heading back to catch some sleep. You should, too. I don't want my body to be completely sleep deprived when I get it back."

Tracy nodded. "I'll head inside in a few minutes."

Fred went back inside. When he fell back asleep, he didn't have any further dreams of any golden-tailed fox demons, but he hadn't expected to.

--- --- ---

All things considered, Fred was very glad to have his own body back. Early in the morning, Tracy's raven Kara woke everybody up and led them to the alley where Vallum was lurking. They were able to corner him, subdue him, and arrest him. And Fred learned just how downright evil he could look when Tracy calmly described various methods of torture they would use on the demon if they weren't placed in their rightful bodies.

Ryou was still grumbling various curses under his breath as they walked back to Tracy's house -- all in their rightful bodies. Even under the threat of torture, Vallum remained steadfast in his claim that he didn't know how to reverse Ryou's curse, as he was merely subcontracted to design it. Vallum didn't even know who it was that wanted to curse Ryou. He had only spoken with a middleman, and never asked clients questions about why they wanted him to create the things he did.

"My hand is never going to be clean again," George said, looking in disgust at his bloodied right hand. He glared at Ryou. "You couldn't have waited until after you had your body back before gouging his eye out?"

While they were still trapped in one another's bodies, Ryou had attempted to torture Vallum into reversing the curse on him. He was obviously displeased with the demon's answers, so had pulled one of Vallum's eyes out of its socket, squishing it between his fingers. Mercifully, Tracy stopped him from doing any further damage, and had placed the Spirit Cuffs around Vallum's wrists, sending him to the Underworld for booking and medical attention.

"Remind me never to get on your bad side," Fred said, looking warily over at Ryou.

"I have no gripe with you," Ryou said. He paused. "Well, unless I discover you had some part in placing this curse upon me."

Fred shook his head. "As I said before, we could probably find out a way to cure you. We have his notes. I'm sure we can figure it out."

Ryou was silent for a while as they walked down the street. As they approached an intersection, he turned to them. "Let's get one thing straight. I'm not your friend. I can find a cure on my own." He turned to walk away from them, but paused. "I'll see you around." He walked off, quickly disappearing in the crowd.

Tracy smiled apologetically. "He's not used to people offering help. I suppose that's his way of saying 'thanks for the offer', and 'he'll have to think it over'."

"Why can't anyone say what they really mean?" George grumbled.

"Because nobody ever does," Fred replied.

Once they returned to Tracy's house, Fred found that Moonshine had somehow gotten into the refrigerator and pulled out some leftover cartons of the Chinese food from the night before. Empty cartons and spilled food littered the floor. "Dammit, Moonshine," he grumbled. He turned to Tracy. "I'll clean it up."

She smiled. "Don't worry about it. I've heard that Moonshine can make quite the mess when left alone."

Fred glared at his spirit beast that was curled up on the kitchen counter as they worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

"Do you have to work tomorrow night?" George asked Tracy as he tossed a carton into the garbage.

Tracy nodded. "You know I do."

George paused and took in a breath. "Call in sick. I'd like it if you came with me to tomorrow night's family dinner."

Tracy glanced at him as she dumped some cleanser into a mop bucket. "Why?"

Fred glanced to George, who shifted from one foot to the other nervously. "I just do," George said. "And if you're worried about the money, I'm sure Fred would let you work some extra hours. We're in one of the busiest times of the year, after all."

Tracy paused, and then nodded. "Very well. I'll go with you." There was a shout from upstairs from Janice. Tracy glanced up at the ceiling. "I'll be back." She left the kitchen, leaving Fred and George alone to continue cleaning up.

Fred turned to George once Tracy was out of earshot. "You want to introduce her to the family?"

George nodded. "I'm getting a ring for her today." He held up a hand to stop Fred from protesting. "I'm not going to ask her in front of everyone. That would just put her on the spot, and I know how she hates drawing attention to herself. Well, when she's not in control of the attention she gets, at least. She's rather complex that way."

Fred sighed. "You've barely been together with her a week. Don't you think you're moving a bit too fast?"

"She's the one, Fred," George said as he tossed away more empty cartons. "I had a dream about her. About us." He smiled. "I'd just come home from work, and our oldest daughter shows me that she'd just received her letter from Hogwarts. Tracy greets me and tells me that our seven-year-old son somehow managed to turn the bathroom into a swamp while she was trying to nap after chasing the triplets all over the house. They're an utter nightmare. Worse than we were. Tracy's pregnant again, looking like she's going to pop at any time." He turned to Fred. "You and Hermione come over for dinner with your kids. Your oldest two just received their letters, too. A boy and a girl. The twins Hermione is carrying now. And don't try to argue with me about that, deep down you know it's true."

Fred tilted his head. "How do you know that's not just wishful thinking?"

George shrugged. "I don't." He paused. "Have either of you come up with any names? I mean real names, not the whole 'Taco Supreme' stuff."

Fred chuckled. "Nothing conclusive. Hermione's got a few names she likes, but it's still a bit soon."

George nodded. "I would tell you what your kids' names are, but that might influence it. I could write them down and place it in a sealed envelope."

Fred sighed. "Don't you think you should wait before asking Tracy, though? You might scare her off. I mean, aren't you afraid that she might be hung up on Yoru?" He wanted to tread carefully here. He already knew that his twin didn't believe that they were the reincarnations of the fox brothers, and didn't want to say anything that implied that they were.

"Maybe," George said. "But he's gone. I'm not."

"What if he comes back?" Fred asked. He knew it wasn't really all that possible, but would still pretend that George and Yoru were two separate people.

George chuckled. "That's just it. He won't. He was an arrogant and egotistical tosser. Why in the world would I want him to come back?"

"It might not be about what you want," Fred said.

George sighed and gave him a serious look. "Look, Fred. I'm not going to help her relive her days as 'Kuroi'. I don't want to be like that. She's slowly letting go of her past, and I've already let go of mine. I'm going to live my life, and I'm not going to let something like knowing who I may or may not have been in the past change who I am now."

Comprehension dawned on Fred's face. "You knew? What was that all about last night?"

"I'm not like him," George said. "And I don't want to be like him. Just like I'd rather Tracy just be like Tracy, and not like Kuroi. None of us were nice people back in the day. So she should forget about Yoru, because he's gone. But I'm not."

Fred wondered if maybe it was a bit messed up that despite George not wanting to have much to do with his former self, that he would still try to get back with an old flame of his from back in the day. Still, Fred figured it wasn't any of his business, and that they could work it out however they wanted.

"For your sake, I hope she's not too hung up on Yoru to see you for you," Fred said in resignation. "But be honest with her. Keeping secrets from her won't do either of you any good."

George smiled and nodded as the kitchen door opened. "Is Janice all right?" he asked.

Tracy nodded. "She's just frustrated about not being able to defeat the final boss on her game. I recommended leveling up at least ten levels."

George smiled and walked up to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Now that we have our own bodies back, is there anything you want to do with them? Perhaps something involving whipped cream?"

Fred sighed in annoyance. "I'm going to head to work and see how Hermione's doing."

--- --- ---

As his bishop was practically decapitated by Ron's queen, Fred remembered why he hated playing wizard's chess with his younger brother.

"Spill, Fred," Ginny said as she sat down in a nearby chair. "Why's George acting so strange tonight?"

"Because he's strange," Fred muttered in response, contemplating his next move. After dinner ended, George asked Tracy to go for a walk with him in the garden. Fred had no doubt that George intended to propose to her there, otherwise he wouldn't have been acting so nervous.

"He's not planning on doing anything to the dessert, is he?" Ron asked. "Mum will kill him if he does. _I'll _kill him if he does."

"Not that I'm aware of," Fred said, moving his knight.

"He's planning on proposing to my sister," Janice said from a nearby couch, where she was talking to Charlie about dragons.

Fred looked over to her in shock. "He told you that?" he asked in surprise. He knew that Janice didn't really like George much, as she was afraid that he was taking Tracy away from her.

Janice shrugged. "He told me last night. I think he wanted to make sure I was all right with it or something."

"And are you?" Fred asked cautiously as Ron's knight beat one of his pawns.

"She could do worse," Janice said, shrugging. "She could do better, but I guess if he's who she wants, then I can deal with it." She turned back to Charlie. "So what made you decide to spend your life playing with dragons, anyway?"

Fred turned back to his game. The previous night, George had shown him the ring he'd picked out, which Fred thought must have cost quite a bit. It had a large diamond surrounded on either side by two small sapphires -- her birthstone -- and the band was made out of silver. George had told Fred that Tracy preferred silver to gold. Fred still thought that George was rushing things, but would try to support his twin if that's what he wanted.

"They haven't been together for that long, have they?" Ginny asked, turning to Fred.

He shook his head. "I've told George that he's moving way too fast, but he doesn't want to listen." He had pretty much given up on any hope of beating Ron, but moved one of his pawns anyway.

Ron nodded. "I thought you and Hermione moved way too fast, but at least you knew each other for years. And you oddly seem to be well matched."

"I thought we moved a bit fast, too," Fred admitted. "I wouldn't change it though, because I'm still amazed at times that she puts up with me. I love her like crazy, though. I guess it just took a swift kick in the arse to get me to realize it and pull myself together."

Hermione came into the sitting room from where she'd been helping in the kitchen. "Dessert's ready," she said.

Dessert was usually held an hour or so after dinner to give their dinner a bit of time to settle. Those gathered in the sitting room once more filed into the dining room, Ron leading the way.

As dessert was passed around, Fred noticed that George wasn't back yet from his walk with Tracy. He was rather curious as to how it went, because he did not want to see his twin get hurt if she rejected him. It was a few minutes after everyone had settled in and broke into various conversations that George came back in with Tracy, holding her hand.

As George took his seat at the table, Fred gave him a questioning look. George ignored him as he dished himself up a slice of freshly baked pie. After about a minute of being ignored, Fred nudged his twin. "Well?" Fred asked when he finally had George's attention.

George smiled. "This winter," he said in a low voice so as not to be overheard.

Fred's eyes widened. "She said yes?" he asked.

George nodded, turning back to his plate.

Fred glanced past George toward Tracy. Sure enough, she was wearing the engagement ring George got her. Fred was pretty sure that he wasn't the only one who noticed the new ring on her finger, as those who had been in the sitting room slowly ended their conversations. Remembering the semi-disastrous family dinner two weeks previously, Fred did not envy his twin when he had to make the announcement. Fred just really hoped that both of them knew what they were getting themselves into.


	22. 22 Life, Or Something Like That

**Chapter 22**: Life, or Something Like That  
[_August 10-27, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"I swear, if George says anything that even vaguely resembles 'I told you so', I am going to hex him," Hermione said as she and Fred walked down Diagon Alley.

They were returning from Hermione's prenatal appointment, and Fred was still in stunned surprise over what the Healer had told Hermione about the child she was carrying. No, not child -- _children_. Just as George had predicted, Hermione was carrying a boy and a girl. It wasn't so much being told that they were having twins that surprised him, but the fact that George was right about it.

Fred nodded. "If he laughs, he'll be the first person to test our new prototype for Cow Pies. It's supposed to make a person imitate a cow for a few hours. You know, speak in moo and whatnot."

Hermione glanced to him. "Mind if we stop for ice cream?"

Fred didn't mind at all. It was a hot day, and ice cream sounded good. Just not the strange nacho cheese flavored ice cream that Hermione ordered. That was just too strange, and Fred wondered why anyone would make that flavor of ice cream. He liked nacho cheese, just not as a flavor of ice cream.

After they had finished their ice cream, they decided to head back to the shop. Mainly because Hermione was feeling the beginnings of something not quite agreeing with her stomach. Fred bit his lip, not wanting to say anything about the unappealing choice of ice cream she had ordered. He hadn't even eaten it, and it sounded nauseating.

"I still want to take you out on a post-NEWT date," Fred said as they entered the shop. "I'm supposed to have time off from the Underworld detective nonsense, so there shouldn't be any more idiotic missions for a while."

Hermione smiled as Fred closed the door behind her. "I'm hoping the footage Janice shot turned out all right. I promised to help her edit it when she's ready."

Fred smirked. "Just don't edit out your reaction when you saw the way Tracy had curled up with George while they slept."

"I was justified," Hermione contended. "I just woke up, and I saw who I thought was you huddled up with another woman."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Do you honestly think I would cheat on you with anyone?"

"Not really," Hermione said. "You'd be too scared to." She glanced over at where Tracy was once more surrounded by customers -- most of them male -- and then turned back to Fred. "Did George stay the night at Tracy's last night?"

Fred shrugged. "I'm guessing. I didn't hear him come in, at least."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "They really go at it quite frequently, don't they?"

Fred smirked. "So do we."

"But we don't advertise it to everyone," Hermione said. "And we don't do it in places where anyone can catch us."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Last night in the broom shed?"

Hermione flushed. "Charlie didn't believe me when I said I had something in my eye and you were helping me, did he?"

"Not really, no," Fred said as they approached the counter. "Saying something like 'helping with a new exercise routine' might have been a bit more believable. That still wouldn't have explained why we both had our pants down, but--"

"Shut up, Fred," Hermione said, her face bright red.

"What's with the red face there, Granger?" George asked as they reached the counter.

"Why do you call me that?" Hermione asked. "It's rather impersonal to refer to someone by their last name, especially since I'm marrying your brother in less than three weeks."

George shrugged. "To be different. How're my niece and nephew doing?"

Hermione glared at him. "If I hear one word that even vaguely resembles 'I told you so', you will die a slow and painful death."

"Healthy, then?" George asked, smirking.

Hermione frowned. "Yes. Now shut up."

George chuckled. "When did you say you were due?"

She tilted her head. "Mid-March."

"You'll deliver around Valentine's Day," George said. "Either slightly before or on."

Fred rolled his eyes. "That's just…" He trailed off, thinking about it. He knew that he and George had been born a month earlier than was expected. It wouldn't surprise him in the least to know that his child -- children -- would be born a month before their due date as well. From what the Healer said, twins had a tendency to be born a bit earlier than singletons, and George _had _been right about them having twins. "I'll take your word for it," he said.

Hermione gave George a skeptical look. "So what else do you know? Can you see whether we're still living upstairs or somewhere else? Will I continue to work here once I head back to work?"

George gave her a funny look. "What do I look like, a bloody fortune teller?"

Fred laughed. "So why aren't you chasing off the customers?"

George smirked. "They can look all they want. She's mine."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Tracy's not a piece of property, George. Anyway, I'm going to head on up. I feel like I've taken a time-delayed Puking Pastille or something." She placed a hand to her mouth and went behind the counter to the door that led to the back, where the stairs to the flat were located.

George chuckled. "There's an idea. Having the Skiving Snackbox line on a time-delay."

Fred made a thoughtful face. "Speaking of Puking Pastilles, I wonder if the antidote would help with morning sickness."

"We can always have a Healer check them over to see if they're safe and effective for pregnant women to take," George said. He paused. "Tracy might be needing some sort of relief soon enough."

Fred's eyebrows shot up. "She's pregnant?" He glanced toward Tracy, who was demonstrating a product to the group of customers.

George shrugged. "Not yet. I'm still trying to convince her not to bother with the whole spirit energy barrier thing. I almost convinced her last night." He shrugged.

Fred gaped at George. "You're _trying _to get her pregnant?" He took in a deep breath. "George, you do realize that she's more like a mother to Janice than an older sister, right?"

George nodded. "I'm aware. She has legal guardianship over her."

"So in many ways, Janice will be more like a stepdaughter to you than a sister-in-law," Fred reasoned. "You should really focus on trying to improve your relationship with her before trying to bring a child into the world with Tracy. Not to mention Janice would probably be jealous of a new baby for taking up even more of her sister's attention."

George waved him off. "Things will be fine. What do you think sounds like a better day to get married on, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day? We're trying to figure out which day is best, and can't decide between them."

Fred sighed and shook his head. He knew there was no reasoning with George when he was like this. "Flip a coin. I'm going to check to see how Hermione's doing." He started walking toward the door that led to the back.

"Fred?" George called out. Fred turned to face him, and he smiled. "Thanks for the concern, but things really will be fine. Once Tracy gets off work, I'm taking her and Janice to that amusement park you mentioned. I know you think we're moving too fast, but I feel like I've already waited too long. I'm not going to hold back anymore."

Fred contemplated his twin for a few seconds before nodding. He didn't know how much his twin remembered about his past life, but could imagine why he might feel like he'd waited long enough if he had the memories of the feelings between Yoru and Kuroi. As Fred went to the back, though, he couldn't help but wonder if George really knew what he was doing.

--- --- ---

"I'm going to kick Bill's arse," George said as they sat at the new table in the twins' flat for dinner. Fred had cooked his somewhat famous lasagna, which George claimed was better than their mother's lasagna. Of course, he would never say it to her face.

"Why is that?" Hermione asked.

"Tracy told me what the tattoo says," George grumbled.

Fred laughed. George learned the hard way never to pass out drunk when Bill was around. Their eldest brother was a licensed tattoo artist, and had practiced his tattooing abilities one night on George. Everyone in the Weasley clan had taken a solemn vow never to tell George just what was tattooed on his left buttock.

George glared at him. "It's not funny, Fred. How would you like it if someone tattooed 'Property of Prisoner 420' on your arse?"

Fred laughed harder.

Hermione snickered. "It could be worse." At the look George gave her, she smiled. "It could say something like 'Bubba was here'."

George glared at her as she burst into laughter. "Nice, Granger." He turned to Fred. "You know, one of these days you'll pass out drunk, and I'll make sure Bill's around with his tattoo equipment."

Fred smirked. "Nice try, but I don't drink very often, and I don't drink enough to pass out when I do. Besides, I like being the only one of us without any piercing or tattoos."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I'll bite. What do Charlie and Percy have?"

George smiled as he took a bite of lasagna. "Amongst other things he's trying to hide from mum, Charlie has a tribal tattoo going around his upper arm. And Percy has his tongue pierced, believe it or not."

Hermione gave him a disbelieving look. "No, he doesn't."

George nodded. "At the request of his ex-girlfriend Penelope. I don't know whether he took out his piercing or not, but he had a tongue piercing at one point of time."

Hermione made a curious face as she chewed her food. "I can see her trying to get him to loosen up, but why would she want him to pierce his tongue?"

George froze as his fork was halfway to his mouth. "I'm not saying it." He took a bite of the pasta.

Hermione frowned in thought. "Why not an ear or something?"

George shook his head. "I'm still not saying it."

Hermione sat with a puzzled look on her face. "But--" She stopped as a look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh."

George nodded, and then turned to Fred. "I'm surprised it took her that long to get it. Haven't you ever gone down on her?"

Fred turned bright red. "That is none of your business! Just because you enjoy sharing every detail of your sex life with everyone around you, doesn't mean we all do!"

George held his hands up in surrender. "I was just asking." He glanced over to the corner of the kitchen, where Moonshine and Crookshanks were sharing a plate of pasta. He turned back to Fred and Hermione. "Tracy wants to know if the two of you are interested in moving into her house. Like maybe a trial run to see if you'd want to live there after your kids are born."

"Just moving in or buying?" Fred asked.

"Moving in, for now," George said. "I know that if you were interested in buying it, she'd sell it to you under market value, but she doesn't want to place it on the market just yet until she knows if you're interested or not."

Hermione made a thoughtful face. "What does Janice think?"

"She thinks it's great," George said. "She really doesn't like being alone, I don't think. And she's always eager to hear as much about the magic world as possible."

Fred chuckled. "We should have Percy read her one of his old reports on cauldron bottom thickness. Then she won't be so eager."

"He did that a couple of weeks ago," George said. "Even he was surprised that she hung onto his every word, because he was trying to make it sound as boring as possible."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Would you be moving in too?" she asked George.

He nodded. "I'd be moving into Tracy's room, but yes. And I will remember a silencing charm. Janice's room is just down the hall from hers." At the looks he received, he held up his hands. "It's only a temporary living situation. She really does feel like the house is far too large for just her and Janice, but doesn't want to relocate them right before Janice heads to Hogwarts. Besides, you guys will need a house. A place like this is too small for three adults and two babies on the way, as well as two pets."

Moonshine meowed in protest at being referred to as a 'pet'. Fred had a suspicion that his spirit beast understood everything that people said, and really wouldn't be too surprised if Moonshine started talking one of these days.

George rolled his eyes. "Three adults, two babies on the way, one cat, and one spirit beast," he amended. "A house wouldn't feel as cramped. I told you before that her house has four bedrooms, and an attic and basement that can both be converted to spare bedrooms. Although her ravens currently claim the attic. But if you guys do buy her house, you'll have more than enough room for your family."

Fred exchanged a glance with Hermione. The offer didn't seem so bad. Having seen the size of Tracy's house, he knew what George meant when he said Tracy felt the house was too large for her and Janice. And even if they all lived there, there would still be a spare bedroom. And if it was only temporary…

Fred turned back to George. "And what happens if Karin decides to pop in there to deliver assignments, like she does here?"

George shrugged. "I guess it depends on if she's decided to grow up or not." He smirked. "Of course, it might be a while before she decides to show herself. You heard what Ryou said about her not wanting anyone to see her bald."

Hermione frowned. "Don't you feel the least bit bad for her? It is partially your fault."

George glanced to her. "She brought that upon herself. If she has a problem with me, she should take it up with me, not Tracy. And it's not like it's permanent. Her hair will grow back eventually."

Hermione just shook her head. "I suppose we could give this a try for now." She looked to Fred. "That is, if you want to."

"Only if there's a silencing charm cast on Tracy's door at all times," Fred said. "And please do not have sex where we eat, or where the rest of us can catch you. It's bad enough you feel the need to tell us all the details, but you don't need to scar us or her kid sister with visuals."

George raised an eyebrow. "I don't go into details. I just give summaries."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Details, summaries, whatever. You still volunteer too much information."

From the corner of the kitchen, Moonshine meowed in agreement.

--- --- ---

On Friday night, Fred and Hermione were going over paperwork they had received from the Ministry about their upcoming wedding. They were sitting in the dining room at Tracy's house, having moved in the previous day. Fred never realized how much paperwork there was to fill out to get married, and vowed that this was the only time in his life that he would be doing that.

"Didn't I fill this form out already?" he asked in frustration as he set one completed form aside and looked to the next one.

"It's possible," Hermione said. "Most of these are to be filled out in triplicate."

Fred sighed and slammed his head against the table.

"Maybe you shouldn't have put it off for so long," George said as he entered the room, walking past them to the refrigerator in the kitchen.

Fred shot him a dirty look. "Shut up, George. We'd still have to do this regardless of when we did it."

George chuckled and sat down at the table after he'd grabbed himself a can of soda. "How upset do you think mum will be if Tracy's visibly pregnant when we get married?"

Hermione glanced to him. "Is that why you proposed to her so soon?"

George shook his head. "No. I'm just curious."

"Mum wanted to rush our wedding so Hermione wasn't showing when we got married," Fred replied. He shot his twin a suspicious look. "Are you still trying to convince Tracy to let you get her pregnant?"

George opened the can of soda. "It's not like that. It's just a matter of not raising the protective barrier."

"So you can get her pregnant," Fred said.

"Possibly," George said. "Whatever happens, happens. And I'm not 'still trying'. She finally agreed to not raise it under the condition that I 'do my share of the work', whatever that means."

Hermione shot him a disbelieving look. "That means doing things like taking care of your child. I really hope you're procreating with her because you actually _want _a child, and not because you like the idea of her being pregnant with your child."

There was a long pause. George rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you guys procreated without even thinking of the possibility of having a child."

Fred sighed and shook his head. "George, you are a complete idiot. That's all I'm saying."

"She's not pregnant yet," George said. He paused. "I don't think." He shook his head. "It was only the one time, anyway."

Hermione scoffed. "One time is all it takes, George. The Healer was able to determine that our child was conceived the very first time we had sex."

"The first night," Fred corrected. "It might have happened the second or third time we had sex that night." At the withering look Hermione gave him, he raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying!"

George took a drink of his soda. "I wonder if Professor McGonagall will still be Headmistress when the next generation of Weasleys hit Hogwarts." He chuckled. "I don't envy her if she's still there when they do. She'll have to contend with Bill and Fleur's kid, your kids, and the possibility of mine and Tracy's kid all in the same year."

Hermione's eye twitched. "I hope she realizes what she's getting into by agreeing to have your child."

George smiled, and then glanced behind him as Janice walked past him. "Did you beat Ghaleon yet?" he asked as she walked to the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"I am invincible!" she proclaimed, raising a fist into the air and pulling a soda out of the fridge. "All shall fear the wrath of the mighty Dragonmaster!" She walked over to the table and sat down. "So who's agreed to have whose child?" she asked.

Fred and Hermione exchanged a glance, and then looked to George. George could field that question, mainly so he could realize the folly of what he was doing,

George balked. "Well, it's not so much actively trying as it is realizing it's a possibility, and being willing to take that chance."

Janice raised an eyebrow as she opened her can and took a drink from it. "So my sister's agreed to let you have sex with her without raising the protective barrier?"

George nodded sheepishly.

Janice made a thoughtful face as she sipped her soda. She set it down on the table and counted something on her fingers. "Wait another month or so," she said. "If you get her pregnant now, she'll have the baby in May, so I'll still be in school. If you wait another month or two, I'll be out on summer holidays when she has her baby."

George gave her a disbelieving look. "Wait, you don't mind?"

Janice shook her head. "Not really. I think it'd be cool to be an aunt, actually."

Hermione shook her head. "I think George just enjoys the idea of getting her pregnant. Which is not fun. Between the morning sickness, the constant tiredness, and getting up in the middle of the night, it's nine months of hell."

Fred glanced to Hermione. "Well, if George is right about you giving birth around Valentine's Day, that just leaves another six months to go."

Hermione frowned. "Shut up, Fred."

George chuckled. "Wasn't Bill saying that Fleur cast some sort of spell on him that made him feel all the same symptoms as her?"

Fred glared at him. "Shut up, George."

George chuckled and turned to Janice. "It's a little after eleven. When's your bedtime, anyway?"

"I'm allowed to stay up until three in the morning and drink all the beer I want," she said, taking a drink of her soda. She protested as George stood up and took the can from her.

"No, you're not," he said. "I think you're up past your bedtime right now." He put the can in the fridge. "For future reference, if you're going to lie about how late you can stay up, make it sound believable. Like you're allowed to stay up until midnight to play video games. Now go upstairs and get ready for bed. Your sister will be home soon, and I want you to be in bed before she gets back. I will be checking up on you."

Janice frowned. "You're not the boss of me."

"Actually," George said, "your sister left me in charge of watching over you. Now, either you can go up there on your own, or I can levitate you up there and secure you to your bed with a sticking charm. It's your choice."

Janice stuck her tongue out at him, but got up and stormed out of the room, grumbling under her breath.

"And watch your mouth!" George called after her as she muttered a few choice swear words. He sat back down. "Were we that obnoxious at that age?" he asked Fred.

Fred chuckled. "We were worse. Do you remember the time when we were ten and mum had to go somewhere for the weekend? You sounded just like dad when he was trying to tell us that he didn't think mum let us stay up past midnight and we needed to get to bed."

George shot him a scandalized look. "You take that back! I did not sound like dad!"

Hermione smiled. "I can just imagine that. What nightmares you two must have been."

George scowled. "I did not sound like dad!" he repeated. "He's all old and dad-like! I'm not!"

Hermione looked over at him. "If you're seriously contemplating having a child, you will need to get used to the idea of being 'old and dad-like'." She glanced to Fred. "The same goes for you."

Fred shot her a devastated look. "I can't be the kind of dad that gets into childish arguments with three year olds?" At the look Hermione gave him, he sighed in resignation. "Old and dad-like it is."

--- --- ---

Fred was really grateful for the time off from the annoying assignments from the Underworld. It gave him and George time to design and test new products, as well as gave Fred time to prepare for his upcoming wedding to Hermione.

When she was around, Tracy was extremely helpful with the wedding preparations. Fred figured that it was because she had her own wedding to plan, even though hers was further off. He and Hermione were finally up to speed on all the preparations that his mother wasn't handling, although Fred would have preferred the neon green dress robes to the traditional black ones he ended up getting.

He had no idea what George was planning as the 'entertainment manager'. He suspected it was nothing that Hermione would approve of, as he noticed that George had stepped up the production of quite a few of their products that were past the testing stage but not yet at the marketing stage. George was also borrowing Tracy's mobile phone an awful lot as well.

It was exactly one week before the wedding. At the last family dinner, their mother had made it clear to Fred and George that they were expected to help clean up around the Burrow in preparation for the wedding. Due to Hermione's condition, her assistance was optional, as the Weasley matriarch understood that she had enough on her plate between work and getting ready to become a mother. When George told Tracy that they would be gone most of the day to help clean up and decorate around their old childhood home, she offered to assist them. Fred still didn't know who his mother was trying to impress, as Hermione had ultimately decided to leave her parents in Australia where they were happy.

"Are the two of you going on a honeymoon?" Tracy asked as she was cleaning the window of Fred and George's old room. It was caked with dust, soot, and rude words and doodles written in marker on it.

"Not initially," Fred said, pulling the sheets off his old bed. He didn't see why the sheets needed to be washed and the beds remade, as they hadn't been slept in since they moved out a little over two months ago, but wasn't in the mood to argue with his mother about it.

"Why not?" George asked, sitting down on his de-sheeted bed. He was supposed to clean up the general clutter of the room, but so far had spent most of his time watching Tracy.

"Hermione wants to wait until she's done with her morning sickness," Fred said. "She's hoping that it will subside as her pregnancy progresses. We will be staying at the flat above the shop for a few days right after, and you're not invited, George."

George chuckled. "Not into that kind of threesome, anyway."

"Why is it that most guys are opposed to threesomes involving two guys and a girl, but have no problems with two girls and a guy?" Tracy mused out loud.

"Because we don't want to fool around with other guys," George replied.

"Yes, but it is physically impossible for a man to penetrate two women at the same time, but it is physically possible for a woman to be penetrated by two men at the same time," Tracy said.

Fred gave her a weird look and then shook his head. He'd let George deal with that one.

"Have you done that before, then?" George asked.

"As Kuroi or as Tracy?" she asked.

"Either," George said.

Tracy sighed and turned to him, setting down the rag and cleanser. "Demons have a far more casual attitude towards sex than humans. As Kuroi, I have done many things that you might not have even heard of. Yes, I have engaged in threesomes of both types as Kuroi. As Tracy, however, my experience is far less. Humans hold little interest to me."

George was silent for a while. Fred decided it was best just to ignore their conversation for the time being, since it didn't concern him. Having pulled off the sheets of his bed, he flicked his wand to open the closet door.

"In your human form," George began slowly, "how many other guys have you been with?"

"I never bothered to count," Tracy said. "If it makes you feel any better, though, our encounter at Hogwarts was actually my first time in human form."

George nodded slowly. "And between then and now?"

Tracy walked over to him and sat down next to him. "Do you really want to have this conversation in front of Fred?"

"At least one of you acknowledges my presence," Fred muttered, sending a few stray articles of clothing that had been left behind zooming into the closet.

George glanced to him briefly before turning back to Tracy. "I really want to know this. How many guys have you been with since becoming human?"

Tracy contemplated him for a moment, and then stood up and went back to the window. "How many do you think?"

"Seven?" George guessed randomly, naming the number of women he'd been with.

Tracy shook her head. "Does it really matter?" She sprayed some of the cleanser onto the window, and began to wipe it clean with the rag. "I don't care how many women you've been with aside from myself. As you said to me before, the past is the past. If you're wondering how you compare, though, no human has ever successfully brought me to orgasm aside from you." She paused. "Well, except for that one woman last November, but she had some serious issues."

Fred gave her a weird look, and then shook his head.

George blinked. "Woman? You've been with other girls?" He shook his head. "Fine, I won't ask how many people you've had sex with, but have you slept with anyone I know?"

"Do you really want to know the answer to that?" Tracy asked as she wiped the window.

George paused, and then nodded. "I'm guessing that you have slept with someone I know, then. And yes, I want to know."

Tracy was silent for a period, as though debating what exactly to say. "Yes, I have slept with someone you know."

"Who?" George asked, his voice sounding a bit tight. After an even longer pause, he continued to prod. "Who was he?"

Tracy sighed and set down the cleaning rag once more, but did not look at him. "If you absolutely _must_ know, I had a one-night stand with your brother Charlie back in May."

George's eyes widened and he stood up. "You slept with my brother?!"

"It was a one time thing," Tracy said defensively. "I didn't realize who he was until you brought me here to meet your family. And it happened _before _you and I met up outside of school."

"But you slept with my _brother_!"

"You were the one who wanted to know!"

Fred decided it was probably better to leave them alone at this point. He hadn't wanted to be caught up in their discussion up until that point, but now it seemed like it had the potential to erupt into an argument between them. It was obvious that neither of them were paying the slightest bit of attention to him anyway.

Grabbing the sheets that he had pulled off his and George's old beds, Fred left the room. He figured he might want to give Charlie the heads-up that George might try to confront him later.

After dropping the sheets off with his mother, Fred was assigned to de-gnome the garden, which came as little surprise and suited him just fine. When he and George de-gnomed the garden, the gnomes would stay away for a longer period of time. Quite possibly because of how brutal they could be. One summer they had used gnomes for Bludger practice until their mum threatened them with a frying pan if they didn't quit.

"One week until you're a married man, huh, Fred?" Charlie asked as Fred approached. Another reason why de-gnoming the garden suited Fred just fine was because Charlie had been regulated to the task as well, and he did want to warn his brother in case George went on a warpath. "Are you excited?"

Fred nodded. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm not nervous. I'm probably going to panic about it later. But I really am looking forward to it, if only to get it over with."

Charlie chuckled. "Don't say stuff like that in front of your woman. She'll hex you."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Speaking of hexing, you might want to be careful around George. He found out that you and Tracy slept together."

"What?!" Charlie turned to face him. "I would never do that to any of you guys!"

"_Before _they got together," Fred said quickly. "Back in May."

"In May?" Charlie furrowed his brows in thought. "Maybe that's why she seemed so familiar when he brought her over. I just figured that she had posed for _Playwizard _or something. She does have the body for it." He rubbed his chin. "You said it was back in May…? I do recall meeting up with a hot young witch at the Three Broomsticks when I was taking a break from clearing the rubble at Hogwarts. She was that witch, huh?" He smiled fondly. "From what I remember, she had some real skills. The way she used her tongue--" He stopped abruptly, glancing at Fred who was giving him an annoyed look. "It was a one time thing. As skilled as she was, there were no real sparks between us. I'm not going to try for a repeat. Besides, she seems happy with George."

Fred glanced toward the house. He couldn't hear any shouting coming from there, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. George could have cast a silencing charm. "I don't think George is too happy with her at the moment," he said, bending down to grab a gnome and toss it off into the distance.

Charlie scratched his head. "How'd he find out, anyway?"

"He asked," Fred replied. "He wanted to know if she had slept with anyone he knew."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "The best response is always 'you're not my first, but you're my last'." He kicked a gnome, which flew into the air briefly before landing back at his feet in a daze.

"Er, they actually were one another's firsts," Fred said. Well, they were apparently one another's firsts in their human forms. He thought it best not to mention the whole demon thing, as he didn't feel like explaining the whole Underworld detective thing or the existence of demons at that point. "Back in Hogwarts they had a one timer."

Charlie shrugged. "Well, all George needs to know is that I have no interest in her. I would never hook up with any girl that any of my brothers were with. If I'd known that they'd slept together back in Hogwarts, I probably wouldn't have slept with her at all." He paused in thought. "Well, maybe I would have. Actually, I probably still would have." He shrugged and tossed the gnome at his feet away.

Fred rolled his eyes.

"Er, Fred?" Charlie asked hesitantly as he straightened up. "I know I should probably tell this to Tracy and George, but since you're here, and I don't want to step into the middle of a fight or start one, can I get you to pass on a message to them from me?"

Fred narrowed his eyes. "What is it?"

Charlie took a deep breath. "I'm pretty sure I got it from this girl I was with this June, so it shouldn't affect them, but I tested positive for lumerosis. I got treated for it, but they might want to get checked just in case I caught it before then."

Fred blinked. Lumerosis was a sexually transmitted disease in the wizarding world. Muggles were immune to it, and it couldn't be passed between a Muggle and wizard, but it wasn't a fun disease to leave untreated. It would slowly eat away at the magic of whoever it infected, eventually leaving them magically impotent. There were occasionally visible signs of infection, primarily the way the genitals would glow slightly in the dark. It was incredibly easy to treat and cure, but the sooner caught the better.

"You had an STD?" Fred asked in a flat tone.

Charlie nodded. "I'm clean now, but yes." He paused. "Don't tell mum. She doesn't need to know that I had one. But let George and Tracy know so they can check to make sure. They are sleeping together, right?"

"I don't think that what they do constitutes 'sleeping' so much as having extremely loud sex without the use of silencing charms," Fred quipped. They had become much better about using silencing charms, but they would forget on occasion.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Really? I seem to remember that she was rather quiet when I was with her. Which I'm sure you don't want to hear about."

"That's right," Fred said. "I don't want to hear it." He threw a gnome through the air like a javelin.

The fell into silence for a few minutes, the only sounds to be heard coming from the gnomes, who were swearing in protest at being thrown around.

"So where's the old ball and chain, anyway?" Charlie asked, throwing a gnome a good distance away.

Fred's eye twitched. "_Hermione _is currently picking up some things at Diagon Alley with Janice. And don't refer to her as 'the old ball and chain'."

Charlie chuckled. "She's got you whipped good, doesn't she? I guess it's up to me to be the rake of the family."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Well, you're certainly some kind of tool."

--- --- ---

The day before the wedding, Fred was in a mild panic. He wasn't ready to get married. He understood what Hermione was talking about before when she said she didn't think she was, either. He realized on some level that he loved her, and would probably have married her someday, but he didn't think he was ready to do so in less than 24 hours' time.

"You can't hide in the basement forever," George said as he knelt down next to him. Fred had taken refuge in a corner of Tracy's basement, and George had come down in hopes of trying to calm him.

"Yes I can," Fred replied. "There's a bathroom over there, and I'll just have you guys send me down some food."

George rolled his eyes. "You're just having a case of pre-wedding jitters. You're marrying Hermione because you love her, right?"

Fred nodded. "I'm not ready for this," he said in a small voice. He looked to George. "What on earth was I thinking, letting mum choose our wedding date for us? What was I thinking when I proposed? Lots of people have kids without getting married." He put his head down between his knees.

George sighed. "Have you spoken with Hermione about this?"

"No," Fred replied, his voice muffled. "She'll kill me."

"She'll kill you if you stand her up at the altar," George said, placing an arm around Fred's shoulders. "You're getting married tomorrow--"

"I'm going to throw up," Fred interrupted.

George sighed. "Do you want to marry her?" he asked.

Fred picked his head up. "Of course I do," he said. "I'm just not ready to do it this soon." He reached out and grabbed the front of George's shirt. "You'll pretend to be me, right? We've done it before. Remember the time when you had detention with that foul bitch Umbridge, but you wanted to go snog some girl? I pretended to be you and did your detention for you."

George shook his head. "I'm not going to pretend to be you. Even if I could, I wouldn't."

Fred let go of George's shirt and placed his head on his knees again. "Some twin you are," he mumbled.

George rubbed his temples. "Those are completely different situations. I have no desire to marry Hermione. Not to mention the whole ear thing makes it impossible to do that anymore."

"Maybe if I were to curse my ear off, we could be completely identical again. Would you do it then?" Fred asked.

"I'm not dignifying that with an answer," George replied. "What's the problem, anyway? You love her, don't you?"

Fred made a noise of assent, but didn't pick his head up.

"So what's the difference between getting married tomorrow or getting married next year?" George asked.

Fred lifted his head and looked at George. "That's easy for you to say. You've got months to go before your wedding with Tracy. But I barely had time to build a relationship with Hermione. I'm pretty sure she's the one, but how do I know?"

"You've known Hermione for the last seven years," George said. "You've fancied her for even longer than I think you're aware of. You love her, she's pregnant with your children, and the two of you get on really well together. You're surprisingly good for one another. Besides, mum and dad really didn't really have time to build a relationship before they got married, and look at how they turned out. Not to mention if you called it off, both mum and Hermione would kill you."

Fred sighed. "If it was you getting married tomorrow…" He let his words trail off, because he had no idea of how to finish his sentence.

"Better sooner than later," George said, looking down at the ground. "It's unreliable, but there's a charm that can detect pregnancy a few days after conception. We only did it without the barrier the one time, but I used the charm on Tracy this morning."

Fred gave George a startled look. "Don't tell me…"

George shrugged. "It might be a false positive. We're going to see about getting her tested for real in a couple of days. And speaking of testing, neither of us has anything." He made a face and muttered something about Charlie under his breath.

Fred figured that George and Tracy must have reached some sort of understanding about the Charlie thing, because once he was finished de-gnoming, his mother had sent him up with clean sheets to place on their beds. George must have cast a silencing charm, because Fred couldn't hear anything coming from the room. He had been half-expecting to walk in on an argument, but instead walked in on the two of them having sex on a pile of dirty laundry on the floor. He quickly dumped the clean sheets on a bed and left the room.

"So what are you going to do if she is pregnant?" Fred asked.

George shrugged again. "We'll probably just go ahead with the wedding on New Year's. She might not be one for big ceremonies, but I don't think she'd go for eloping." He gave Fred a serious look. "Do _not _tell anyone about this. Not Hermione, not Janice, and definitely not mum. We want to be sure before telling anyone. I shouldn't have even told you about it yet."

"Are you having second thoughts?" Fred asked.

George smiled. "Not a one. I hope it's not a false positive. If I thought Tracy would agree to it, I would gladly switch wedding dates with you. Course, we don't have any paperwork ready, or rings, or proper bride and groom attire, but if we did and it would help, I'd switch with you."

Fred contemplated his twin for a moment, and then slowly stood up. "You know, looking at you and your relationship with Tracy, I feel a lot better about my relationship with Hermione. We're nowhere near as likely to crash and burn as the two of you."

George made a face as he stood. "Nice to have your support. Now what do you say?"

Fred smiled weakly. "I guess I can go through with it. After all, I am Fred Weasley, one half of the infamous Weasley twins. We fear nothing, and let nobody say otherwise."

George smiled. "Excellent! We've got quite a stag night planned for you. I can't go into details, but you'll be wondering why parties like the one we've got planned don't happen every night."

Fred rolled his eyes, but laughed. "I'm not going to end up arrested, am I?"

George smiled. "Well, I suppose it depends on what Officer Ma'am has in store for you. Charlie told me about her back when he was still cool. She's very passionate about the law, and has the handcuffs and the badge on her ample chest to prove it."

Fred shook his head, smiling. "Joy," he said flatly.

"Nah, she's the naughty nurse," George said. He started walking towards the stairs. "Come on, we're supposed to meet the guys in an hour."

Fred chuckled and started moving to the stairs. He still felt as thought he wasn't completely ready, but he would get through it.


	23. 23 Generation Next

**Chapter 23**: Generation Next  
[_August 28-September 2, 1998_]

--- --- ---

"I cannot believe you, Fred!" Hermione fumed once they had returned to the twins' flat above the shop. "How could you have our guests turn into zoo animals?!"

"That was George's doing," Fred tried to point out. "And technically they were circus animals."

"And I suppose you had nothing to do with the way the chairs would mysteriously dump people out of them and run around to a different spot every thirty seconds during the reception?" Hermione asked with narrowed eyes.

"It wasn't every thirty seconds," Fred tried to explain as they entered his bedroom. "It was every time there was a certain note combination played in the music."

"By a mariachi band! How you could let George book the band I'll never know," Hermione said.

"In his defense, the dancing flamingos were as a result of a miscommunication. He asked for flamenco dancers," Fred said, trying to keep a straight face.

"And who charmed the officiant's robes to change into a giant chicken costume in the middle of the ceremony?!" Hermione demanded.

Fred laughed. "Come on, 'Mione. What did you expect? The guy was practically asking for it. Even Percy was looking bored to tears by his long-windedness. Woke everyone up, at least."

Hermione glared at him. "You said in our wedding vows that you would be my 'spankable and shaggable sex poodle'," she seethed through gritted teeth.

Fred made a thoughtful face. "Yeah, poodles aren't very sexy, but George dared me to use the term 'sex poodle' sometime during my vows. And I am quite spankable and shaggable, if I do say so myself."

Hermione growled. "And I suppose Harry and Ron belching the theme song to 'Ghostbusters' was a complete coincidence?"

Fred raised an eyebrow. "That's what they were burping?" He chuckled. "I thought it would be romantic. After all, you kissed me for the first time after successfully helping me to spike the pumpkin juice with the very same potion. True, I was in George's body at the time, but still."

Hermione's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just have you sleep on the couch tonight."

"Because that was never part of the deal?" Fred asked hopefully. At the look Hermione gave him, he continued. "Because as good as that dress looks on you, it would look better on the floor?"

"Did you just use a cheesy pick up line on me?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

Fred shrugged and decided to change tactics. "Every girl dreams of her wedding day, right?"

"Oh, yes. I've always dreamed of all of the guests making flatulent noises in time to the wedding march as I walked down the aisle," Hermione said sarcastically.

Fred decided it was better not to laugh at the memory, but really had to fight to keep a straight face. "Come on, 'Mione. I wanted our wedding to be memorable--"

"It was certainly 'memorable', all right," Hermione muttered.

Fred nodded in agreement, trying to placate her. "Anyone can have a boring ceremony and reception. I wanted ours to be different, so we could look back at it years from now with fond memories and lots of laughter. I'm just getting married the one time to a girl I'm crazy in love for, so why would I want boring when we could have something special? Besides, what did you expect to happen at our wedding?" he asked.

Hermione just stared at him for a few seconds, and then sighed in resignation. "We should have just eloped. There would have been no chance for you and George to plot anything."

Fred smirked. "If it's any consolation, we've got months to plot all the things that will happen at his wedding. You can have your revenge then."

Hermione smiled slightly. "I really shouldn't have expected anything else from marrying you, should I?"

Fred nodded. "I am incorrigibly shaggable," he said solemnly.

Hermione let out a short laugh. "You're incorrigible, all right."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around you. "You wouldn't have me any other way, though, would you?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I suppose not." She paused. "You know there was a time when I wouldn't have you at all."

Fred smiled. "And then came a time when you couldn't keep your hands off me."

"Shut up, Fred," Hermione said, although there was the hint of a smile in her voice.

Chuckling, Fred leaned in to kiss her.

--- --- ---

September 1st was always a busy affair for the Weasley family. Ginny would be the last Weasley to go to Hogwarts until the deluge of the next generation started their first year some twelve years from then, so practically the entire family was there to see her off. Fred figured that Platform 9 and 3/4 would become even more packed with Weasleys when his kids were born.

After saying his farewells to Ginny, George had moved to the perimeter of the group, where Tracy was giving her last minute instructions to Janice. Fred thought it was funny that Tracy had told Janice the sorting was determined by getting involved in a fight between a pirate and ninja, choosing sides to fight alongside one of them. The side chosen and whether the fight was won or lost would determine which house one was sorted into. He had no idea what else she was telling Janice, but he did hear something that sounded suspiciously like 'naked Thursdays'.

"It's too bad that you're not coming back," Ginny said to Hermione. "It would make for an interesting class if you suddenly went into labor."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I suppose it might. But I already have my NEWTs, so there's no need. I'll just read your school books whenever you come back on holidays to learn what you're learning."

Fred hoped she was joking, but knowing her, she was serious.

Glancing over to where George and Tracy stood with Janice, he could see that they were telling her something in hushed tones so they wouldn't be overheard. Janice's eyes widened, and she looked between them before making a soft squeal of delight, smiling, and hugging each of them in turn. A few eyes turned to them, but before an explanation could be given, the whistle to the Hogwarts Express blew in warning and Janice walked toward the train, following Ginny.

"Be sure to write!" Janice called out once she was on the train. "Tell me how things go!"

The whistle blew again, and soon the train was gone.

"I can't believe the last of my babies is finally off for her final year," Mrs. Weasley said, sobbing. "The house will just seem so empty."

"So you don't want me to move out?" Ron asked hopefully.

She looked over at him. "I want you to think of your future. If your own brothers are thinking of firing you, what kind of future do you think you'll have?"

"He's gotten a lot better, mum," Fred said in his brother's defense. "He only comes in an average of five minutes late now."

It was true that Ron was making an effort to go to work on time, but there was still the issue that he was the most unreliable of the workers at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. He did the bare minimum, and seemed to have the attitude that there wasn't any way Fred and George would actually fire him. Fred figured that so long as Ron actually did his work, and worked the hours he was supposed to, he might as well stay on staff. Of course, it was unlikely that Ron would be promoted full time unless he actually took his work seriously. Well, as seriously as anyone working in their joke shop could be, with employees and customers randomly changing colors or turning into animals.

Their mother sighed and looked over to George and Tracy. "So what were you talking about, huddled over there?"

George smiled. "Free marketing," he said. "Janice went on a bit of a shopping spree over the summer, and is going to make full use of all our products. I told her I'd send her some stuff if she promised to use it well."

Fred did not believe George for one instant about that being the topic of what he and Tracy had been telling Janice. While George and Janice got along better, he doubted that George offering to send her products would cause her to squeal with delight and hug him. His mother seemed to buy it, though, as her mouth narrowed in disapproval.

"Corrupting one so young, honestly," she muttered. She turned to Tracy. "And you're letting him?"

Tracy smiled slightly. "Trust me when I say she needs no help with corruption. Besides, she's still coping with the loss of our parents, and if she chooses to do so by playing jokes and pranks on those around her, I see no harm in it so long as nobody gets hurt. If it helps her heal, I'd rather her be laughing than crying."

It was obvious that his mother had forgotten that Tracy and Janice's parents had died just a few months ago in March, because she stood there with a stunned expression on her face. "It must be hard for you," she said. "You're so young, and having to take care of your sister like that when you're still coping… You do realize that all you have to do is ask for help, right?"

Tracy smiled politely. "We're doing fine. I do appreciate the offer, however."

"And you're helping her?" Mrs. Weasley asked, turning to George.

George nodded. "We have our rough moments, but Janice and me are getting along better now. Besides, it never hurts to get into practice for fatherhood." He put his arm around Tracy.

"Well, hopefully that will be a long time off," his mother replied. "At least until after your own wedding."

George chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Fred looked over to him in suspicion. He hadn't forgotten what George had told him about performing an early pregnancy detection charm on Tracy, and how it came up as positive. Ignoring the unreliability of the charm, from the way George talked and was acting, it sounded like there was a distinct possibility that she had taken another pregnancy test that came up positive. Enough time had passed that more reliable pregnancy tests could be used.

"I still can't believe you're getting married," Ron said, looking to George and Tracy. "You're not getting married because you have to, like Fred and Hermione did, right?"

"That is so rude, Ron," Hermione said.

Fred nodded. "We didn't _have to_ get married. I married her because I love her. We just got married a bit sooner than we otherwise would have." Even though he'd had doubts right before the wedding, after going through with it, he couldn't help but wonder why he'd had a near panic attack in the basement of Tracy's house. When he had stood next to Hermione at the altar, he realized that while their situation might have forced them together faster, he really did love her. If he didn't, he wouldn't have married her. There were lots of people who had children and didn't stay together, and lots of people who did. No matter what other people did, though, he had wanted to be with her.

Ron shrugged. "I still have a hard time picturing the two of you together sometimes." He turned to George and Tracy. "The two of you I do not, if only because you seriously need to get a room. And I'm not talking about the back room at the shop, either. I swear that I'm going to need therapy, or a nice strong memory charm placed on me if I catch you having sex back there one more time…"

"What was that?!" his mother asked, glancing between Ron and George, who had turned bright red.

Tracy coughed. She was blushing slightly. "Well, I think we should probably head off now. I have to get ready for work at the diner."

George nodded. "Wish we could stay and chat, but I've got to go reopen the store." He glanced to Fred and Hermione. "Are you guys coming?"

Fred gave him a skeptical look, but nodded. They had planned on keeping the shop closed all day, and he knew that Tracy's excuse to leave wasn't a valid one, either. She didn't start her shift at the diner until seven that evening, and Fred really doubted that it took her eight hours to get ready.

The groups parted ways, with Fred, Hermione, George, and Tracy heading back to Tracy's house after George told them that's where they were actually heading. Fred had figured as much. They could have taken the Underground, but opted instead to head to the Apparition point along the platform for departing family members, and Apparated back to her house. Or in Tracy's case, held on to George and went via Side-Along Apparition.

Tracy unlocked the door and let them in, not saying anything.

"You guys are hiding something," Fred said as the group walked to the kitchen. "What did you really say to Janice right before she left?"

George shrugged. "What makes you think I didn't offer to send her stuff?"

Fred gave him a flat look. "She hugged you. I know you're getting on better, but not that well. Whatever you said is something major."

"George got what he wanted," Tracy said simply as she walked towards the refrigerator.

"Got what he wanted?" Fred repeated. He glanced to his twin, and then back to Tracy. "So you are pregnant."

George nodded and smiled widely as he sat down at the dining room table with Fred and Hermione. "She took a few tests yesterday. A Muggle test, a potion, and we re-did the charm. They all came up as positive."

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to Tracy. "You don't sound too excited about it."

Tracy shrugged as she placed fours cans of soda on the table before sitting down. "I'm not the overly emotional type of person that wears my heart on my sleeves. Besides, there are reasons not to be too excited. As I explained to George when he was begging me not to use my spirit energy, I'm still under probation with the Underworld, and I still go out on assignments."

That was true. While they had been living with Tracy, Fred had noticed that she had often been sent out on assignment, even though Fred and George were left alone. There had been one time she had come back covered head to toe in purple gore. She refused to say what exactly had happened, even after taking no fewer than three showers. Her skin had a purple tinge to it for the next couple of days afterwards.

George sighed. "Is there maybe some way of having that transferred to me instead, so you don't have to go out on assignment?"

"As I explained to you before, there is not," Tracy said wearily, as though they'd had the same discussion before. "Do not think for an instant that I'll stop going out on assignments just because I'm carrying your child. I told you before that the alternate is jail time, which I'd rather avoid."

"Aren't you worried about losing your child?" Hermione asked, reaching for a can of soda. "I mean, that's why I don't go out."

"You're not a fighter," Tracy said. "You shouldn't be going on assignments whether you're pregnant or not. While I'm sure you can hold your own in a magical battle, magic is not very effective against demons. You have no actual combat skills, and while I'm sure you've gotten better with a bow and arrow, that's good only for ranged attacks. In an up close fight, you would die."

Fred silently agreed with Tracy's assessment. He hadn't been too pleased when Hermione had insisted on coming with him to retrieve the Rod of Division from Ryou. He knew she was an accomplished witch, but she was not a trained fighter. They had both been lucky that Ryou hadn't fought them seriously.

George opened his can of soda. "So there isn't any way you can, well, _not_ go on assignment?"

Tracy shook her head. "Not unless I want to go to Underworld prison. I explained this to you before. I am on probation. I am at the Underworld's mercy until my sentence is paid. You were the one who wanted to have a child, and insisted upon it even after I explained this to you."

Fred looked between George and Tracy. From the expressions on both of their faces, they'd had this discussion before several times. Fred had a feeling that George had just dismissed their previous discussions as unimportant, or something they'd talk about later.

George huffed. "Can't you talk to the Underworld and work something out?"

Tracy shook her head. "Doubtful." She turned to Fred. "Do you know when your time off will end?"

"Not a clue," Fred said. "I'm hoping never, because I'd really like my life back."

Tracy nodded sympathetically. "I would inquire with Koenma about how long your term of service is for, as well as the specific stipulations. Otherwise you might find yourself working for them far longer than is really necessary."

Fred hadn't known that there was a term of service he had to fulfill. Then again, he had never asked.

"Why did you let George get you pregnant if you knew you'd still be going on assignments?" Hermione asked.

Tracy smiled slightly. "Various reasons. Mainly because he wouldn't shut up about it."

"Hey!" George interjected. "You don't have to put it like that!"

Tracy shrugged. "It's the truth, though. You were begging me to bear your child. It got rather tiring, really." She glanced to Fred and Hermione. "Truth be told, I think it might be a case of attempted one-upmanship. He wishes for us to have a child because the pair of you are having a child. He has been feeling rather left out."

Fred blinked. He hadn't known that George was feeling left out. He could, in many ways, understand why he would, as the twins had always shared practically everything, with the exception of a few things like girls. He looked over at George.

"Is that why you wanted to have a kid with her? Because Hermione and me have kids on the way?" he asked.

George frowned. "That is not the only reason why."

"That is the worst reason in the world," Hermione said. "If you're going to have kids deliberately, it should be because you fully understand the responsibility involved with raising a child, and wish to start a family together."

"What makes you think we don't?" George asked defensively. "I love Tracy. I know having a child is hard work, and so does she. I'm honored that she's agreed to bear my child. Not to mention I think it's incredibly sexy that a bit of me is growing inside her. All we've gotten from both of you is a never-ending slew of non-supportive 'you're moving too fast'. But I already know. Days, months, years, it doesn't make a difference. When you find the person you're meant to be with, you know. You might not realize it right away, but at some point you'll know."

"You only say that because of how often you go on about how good she's supposed to be in bed," Hermione pointed out.

"That's not it at all," George said. "Even if something happened and we could never have sex again, I would still want to be with her. The sex is just a bonus. A very good, incredible, mind-blowing bonus, but a bonus nonetheless."

Fred contemplated his twin. "You really do love her, don't you?" he asked.

George nodded. "I do."

Fred sighed. He hoped that what George felt for her was enough to keep their relationship from crashing and burning. Then again, George had been making the attempt to get to know Tracy and become a part of her life. He took her out on dates -- something George had never really done before -- as well as made an effort to include and get along with Tracy's sister Janice. If George wasn't serious about Tracy, why bother with any of that? George might not know much about actually romancing a girl, but maybe he really had found the one for him.

Fred smiled at his brother and held out his hand. The least he could do is support his twin, who had supported him throughout his own courtship with Hermione. "Congratulations, then, mate! We've got so much to teach the next generation of troublemakers that we need to start coming up with lesson plans now."

George smiled and clapped his hand against Fred's. "Words of wisdom like 'don't worry about getting detentions, just try not to get expelled'."

Fred nodded. "At least not until they've finished at least one year. We'll tell them things like 'make sure to get a back seat in History of Magic so your snoring isn't too obvious'."

"'The answer to every question on every test is forty-two'," George added.

Fred smiled. "'Every Wednesday is--'"

"You are not corrupting our children," Hermione interrupted.

Tracy waved her off. "'Going to classes in your pajamas is perfectly acceptable, but only on Fridays'."

Fred laughed. "I think I did that once."

"I forgot to get dressed one time before heading to the Great Hall for breakfast," George said. "I'd been wondering why I kept getting odd looks on the way until I was about halfway there and realized I was naked."

Hermione gave him an odd look. "You slept naked?"

"It was a hot night," George said defensively.

"It was the middle of January," Fred pointed out, smirking.

George shrugged. "It was an unusually hot January night."

Tracy smirked. "So that's where that rumor came from."

George turned to her. "What rumor?"

She waved him off. "It doesn't matter. It was untrue."

Fred chuckled. "Was that the rumor where half the girls at Hogwarts claimed to have seen him naked, and were going on about how small he was?"

Tracy nodded and took a sip of her soda. "Extremely untrue, at least on the 'small' part. I suppose nobody bothered to factor in that shrinkage tends to occur in the cold. That, and I doubt he was walking around erect."

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Fred. "You are not corrupting our children."

Fred just smiled at her. "We'll see."

--- --- ---

Fred thought that blonde hair did not suit Karin in the least. Sure, he knew it was a wig she wore while waiting for her hair to grow back, but he still didn't think it suited her.

"I don't want to give you this assignment," she said as she stood in the twins' joke shop, her arms folded across her chest. After seeing her enter the shop and recognizing her, Fred had gestured for George and Tracy to join him, as there was undoubtedly an assignment they were about to be sent on. "I don't have any say in the matter, though."

"What's the assignment?" George asked as he stood behind Tracy, his arms around her from behind. He protectively placed one hand on her abdomen.

Karin took a deep breath. "Your predecessor is a threat. She needs to be eliminated."

Fred folded his arms across his chest. He didn't like the implication of the word, particularly since his predecessor was human. "What's she done?"

"I told you before how she decimated an entire city block just to get to one demon, right? What I didn't say was that there was a school on that block," Karin said. "She was relieved of her duties as Underworld detective after spending two weeks in a psychiatric hospital. She burned the place down."

Fred made a face. "So she's killing humans?"

"Shes incredibly dangerous," Karin said, not quite answering the question. "She possesses a superiority complex, and believes herself to be above any kind of laws. She's been experimenting with combining her Reiki and magic together. The effects are absolutely devastating. Even after losing her status as Underworld detective, she's taken it upon herself to continue hunting demons indiscriminately."

"So what are we supposed to do?" George asked. "Arrest her and send her to the Underworld's prison?"

Karin hesitated. "Well…"

"You're supposed to kill her," Tracy said, narrowing her eyes. "Isn't that right, Karin?"

Karin nodded. "That's the gist of it, yes."

Fred frowned. He had thought as such when Karin said his predecessor needed to be eliminated, but he felt really uneasy about being told to kill someone. Even if she did sound like someone with no regard to the lives of those around them.

"Do you really think Fred and George are anywhere near her level, if she's as dangerous as you say?" Tracy asked.

Karin turned to her. "It might be a case of fighting fire with fire. If they can get their acts together, work as a cohesive unit, and take matters seriously, they should be able to manage somehow."

"How many assignments do I have to go on before I'm done?" Fred asked.

Karin sighed. "I don't know, and I can't make any promises."

"This assignment is foul," Fred said. "I can't make any promises that I'll agree to it, either." At the look on Karin's face, he raised a finger and interrupted her. "Don't even start in on how I owe a debt, or it's my duty, or anything like that. You want me to kill someone. I'm not going to lie and say I've never killed anyone, because I have. Death Eaters during the battle at Hogwarts, demons in the line of duty. But those weren't premeditated. I didn't go in _planning_ to kill anyone. What you're asking is for us to go on an assignment to _murder_ someone."

"I don't like this assignment, either!" Karin protested. "King Enma issued an execution order on her, and as the Underworld's detective, it falls upon you to do it!"

Fred just stared at her for a long time. He was tired of the Underworld's games and manipulations, and an assignment like this was just the last straw. "Go to hell, Karin. I quit."

Karin blinked. "You can't just quit! You owe a debt!"

Fred glared at her. "My debt does not extend this far. I've put up with a lot of crap. Too much. I consider my debt to be repaid. So I quit."

Karin sighed and turned to George. "What about you?"

George shrugged indifferently. "I was never an official Underworld detective, anyway. Strictly voluntary. And when you were recruiting me, didn't you say something about me getting paid?"

"Get that defense whatever to deal with her," Fred said.

Karin sighed. "The Spirit Defense Squad already tried and failed." She glanced to Tracy. "I can see about having your sentence reduced if you convince them to do this."

Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Why would I want to do that? I would hardly want to be accused of instigating humans to kill one another."

Karin sighed and rubbed her temples. "Look, I know this is a foul assignment. That's why I didn't want to bring it up. But orders from above state that she needs to be eliminated."

"She'll be caught," Fred reasoned. "Either by Muggle authorities, wizarding authorities, or you guys in the Underworld. If she's as flamboyantly destructive as you claim, it's only a matter of time. If you were asking us to arrest her, that would be one thing. But asking us to kill her is completely another. Now if you'll excuse us." He turned away from Karin to greet a group of customers who had entered the shop.

There might have been a time when he might have considered going on an assignment like this. As much as he didn't fancy the idea of killing anyone, he had killed before in the heat of battle. Maybe he might consider accepting the assignment if Karin had phrased things rather differently, or if he wasn't a married man expecting his first (and second) child, or if there wasn't the likelihood that this was a 'revenge' assignment for what happened between her and George and Tracy. It was possible he hadn't even been given all the information, much like he hadn't when dealing with the shapeshifting demon at Westerly Hall. It hadn't escaped his notice that Karin never did confirm that his predecessor was killing humans, choosing instead to leave the implication in the air. But with all those factors, he refused to undertake such a disgusting mission. He could be called many things, but a murderer was not among them.

As he helped the new customers find the products they were looking for, he was aware that Karin was following him around from a distance. As the crowd of customers dispersed, Fred made it a point to avoid Karin. He really wasn't interested in whatever she had to say. He noticed that George had gone back to the counter to help Hermione ring up customers' purchases, while Tracy was helping Dog Biscuit restock some items on the shelves. Realizing that Karin meant to try to re-kindle the conversation about the disgusting assignment, Fred gravitated to the counter. Maybe it was a bit cowardly, using George and Hermione for a shield, but Fred wasn't interested in the assignment.

"Do we have anything good for getting rid of unwanted pests of the spirit variety?" he asked George as he approached the counter. The customers George and Hermione were waiting on walked off with their bags of purchases.

"I would say to shave the spirit's head, but someone seems to have beaten us to it," George quipped, smirking.

Karin narrowed her eyes at him. "Really mature, George."

George glanced to Fred. "Did you hear something? I might be imagining things, but I thought I just heard an annoying whining sound." He made a show of looking around, and finally let his gaze fall upon Karin. "Oh, it's just you."

Karin frowned. "I don't think you understand how important this is…" She narrowed her eyes as George mocked her. "Would you cut that out?"

George shrugged. "Are you ready to grow up? We're not going on a stupid assignment like this, so save your breath."

"I didn't choose this for you!" Karin protested. "Mimi is highly disturbed--"

"Mimi?" Fred repeated. "What kind of stupid name is Mimi?"

Karin's eye twitched. "Don't ask me. It's not important. The point is--"

"We're not doing this," George interrupted. "The only reason why you want us to is because of what happened between us."

"That's not true!" Karin protested. "I have no say in this whatsoever! If I did, you guys would never have been given this assignment!"

George shrugged, and turned to Hermione. "She wants us to kill someone. Does this sound like a revenge assignment to you?"

Hermione looked between them. "Don't drag me into your personal problems."

"This isn't a personal problem!" Karin protested. "This--"

George glared at her. "I refuse this assignment. Fred quit. And you leave Tracy out of this, because she has nothing to do with this. For that matter, count her as having served her time. She shouldn't be going out on assignments anymore."

Karin frowned. "That's not up to you--"

"She's pregnant," George said. At the stunned look on Karin's face, he folded his arms across his chest. "I tried to be civil with you. I know that she has as well. But when you go around like this, trying to pick fights with her and sending her on dangerous assignments…" He shook his head. "Stay out of our lives."

"She's pregnant?" Karin repeated in stunned disbelief.

George nodded. "With my child. We're getting married on New Year's Day. Now I suggest you leave us alone."

Fred turned to Karin. "George already apologized for what happened between you two. And he wasn't the only one at fault. If you're still angry with him, do not take it out on others. Now go back to the Underworld, and get out of my face."

For a moment, Karin looked like she wanted to say something else. Instead of saying anything, she just sighed with defeat and held out a hand, summoning her oar and disappearing.

"Don't you think you guys were a bit harsh?" Hermione asked once Karin was gone.

Fred glanced to her. "She wants us to go out and murder someone. It's a disgusting assignment she only wants us to take because she's still angry at George for what happened. We refuse to accept such a vile assignment, and she just doesn't get it."

Hermione shrugged. "I can't blame you for that." She glanced to George. "Do you think telling her Tracy's pregnant will help anything?"

George smirked. "Not really, but the look on Karin's face was priceless, don't you think?" He looked over to where Tracy was stocking shelves and smiled. "Tracy really is beautiful, isn't she? To think, a part of me is growing inside her as we speak. It makes me want to just take her right there and make love to her."

Fred's eye twitched. "If you're going to do that, you take her upstairs to your room, and only once her shift ends."

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "I hope you realize just what you've gotten yourself into, George. And how can you be absolutely certain she's pregnant just because a few home pregnancy tests state she is? Shouldn't you have it confirmed by a Healer?"

George smiled, not taking his eyes off Tracy. "She'll give birth to our daughter in early May. I don't need a Healer to tell me that. But she is going to get it confirmed at an appointment she's set up for tomorrow. It won't tell us anything we don't already know, though."

Fred raised an eyebrow. He had learned his lesson about doubting George's precognitive tendencies. "So about that sealed envelope of our kids' names…?"

George pulled an envelope out of his pocket. "It's not to be opened until after your kids have been born and named. And to prevent any cheating or alteration, we'll all sign our names on the envelope and date it, and it will be locked up somewhere."

Fred smirked. "Deal."

Hermione just rolled her eyes. "Honestly."

--- --- ---

In such a busy airport terminal, nobody would notice a single teenaged girl traveling alone. There wasn't anything remarkable about her appearance. Her hair was dyed blonde with darker roots showing, and she lacked any visible scars or tattoos that would make her stand out.

Where it wasn't unusual to see anyone referencing paperwork or magazines, nobody paid her any mind as she pored over a small catalog. Had someone bothered to pay her any attention, they would have seen that images on the catalog she was looking at were moving. They also might have noticed that the tip of something decidedly thin and wooden was peeking out of the sleeve of her left wrist. Of course, nobody paid her any mind, so nobody had any way of knowing that she was a witch.

She hadn't said anything to them as she had accepted one of the mail order catalogs they had passed around at the MagiMall back in July. Instead, she bided her time, gathering information that she collected into a notebook. She had asked the old letch many questions about them once they left to go back home. At first, it was a matter of curiosity on just who was replacing her, but then it became more of a matter on knowing as much as possible about them. She was fully aware that Master Tesen alerted the Underworld to her asking around about them after a while, but she _wanted_ her successors to know about her. It might be interesting to see just how she would be vilified.

The Underworld was full of hypocrites. She was told to eliminate demons by any means necessary, and then condemned later because her methods were too 'harsh'. They had been the ones to tell her to use any means necessary. What really hurt was that they would recruit her to do their dirty work for them, and then would callously toss her aside once they deemed her no longer 'useful'. The fact that they had known _before_ they recruited her that they would someday cast her aside was even worse. She gave her life and dirtied her soul for the Underworld's ideals, and they betrayed her.

Her successors didn't know what they were fighting for, but she did. The Underworld did not want demons in the human plane, period. There might be some division among the upper echelons there about how specifically that was interpreted, but that didn't affect how an Underworld detective was to do their job. It was the detective's job to remove as many demons from the human realm as possible, starting with the worst of the lot. There was little difference whether or not the demons were arrested or killed. It didn't matter that there were good demons, just as there were evil humans. The fight was never about good or evil to begin with, because few things could truly be classified with such absolutes. The world was a shade of gray when it came right down to it.

She knew that she would likely be classified as one of the 'evil' humans due to her harsh methods, but sometimes one had to play the bad guy to make a better world. As someone once said, "it's always darkest before the dawn". If she'd had a bit more time, she might have been able to see the dawn. Instead, she had to put her faith in successors that should never have been chosen to begin with. In a fair world, she should have been the last Underworld detective. She knew what needed to be done, and was willing to throw herself into the mission completely. So why did she have successors?

She supposed the 'why' didn't really matter too much. She had to know if she could trust her successors with the task given to them. They had to understand that things weren't black and white, and sometimes one had to dirty their hands for the greater good. Sometimes sacrifices needed to be made. If things had been a bit different, she might have been content to just sit back and let them take control, but that was no longer an option. She needed to be proactive. They had to know.

Placing the catalog back into her backpack, she stood up from her seat in the waiting area. She had the address memorized. Tomorrow, she would pay a visit to 93 Diagon Alley. Maybe she might do a bit of recruiting as well. Demons might not belong in the human realm, but they had their occasional use as cannon fodder. For right now, though, a bit of rest was in order. She had a headache, and traveling abroad was rather tiring. Besides, her doctor told her to take it easy, and she supposed that she should follow the neurologist's advice for one last time before ignoring it completely tomorrow.


	24. 24 Home is Where the Rubble Is

**Chapter 24**: Home is Where the Rubble Is  
[_September 3, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Mornings could be rather hectic at Tracy's house when the residents all had to ready themselves for work at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. While technically Fred and George did not have to get there at any set time, they still took it upon themselves to go to work at the same time as Hermione and Tracy did. George because he wanted to spend as much time with Tracy as possible, and Fred to prevent any non-work relations between them in the workplace. That, and he liked working alongside Hermione.

That was why Fred was glad Thursdays were one of Hermione's days off. With how tired Hermione was, it was good just to let her sleep in. They had moved back into Tracy's house after seeing off the Hogwarts Express. Hermione really seemed to like the house, which Tracy was interested in selling to them. Fred had to admit that it seemed more home like, and he really didn't mind the living arrangements once the rules of who could do what where were well established.

The night before, Fred had decided he would sleep in as well. Even though someone needed to keep an eye on George with Tracy, he was getting a bit tired of being the one to do so. That was why he was more than annoyed when George barged into his room that morning and shook him awake. "Didn't you ever hear of privacy?" he mumbled, trying not to wake Hermione, who was starting to stir.

"Get dressed," George said, looking pale. "Hurry."

"What is it?" Hermione mumbled sleepily.

"Just get dressed, Fred, and meet me outside the shop," George said, turning away from them and leaving their room.

Fred groaned and glanced to the alarm clock. It wasn't quite time for their shop to open. If he was more awake, he might have wondered why George was so intent on having him go to the shop. Instead, he sighed. "You sleep. I'll go," he said to Hermione, kissing her on the forehead. She mumbled something before turning in her sleep.

Fred got up and got dressed, almost tripping over where Crookshanks and Moonshine were curled up on the floor sleeping. He didn't know what was so important to wake him up, but it had better be good…

Five minutes later, he Apparated to Diagon Alley and approached George, who had his arm around Tracy. She stood with a pensive look on her face.

"This better be good," Fred said.

George nodded, and wordlessly pointed towards their shop. Or rather, the area where their shop had been. In its place there was a smoking crater, and Aurors and onlookers were milling about.

Fred's jaw dropped. "What the hell?!"

"They're saying that there was a massive explosion about an hour ago," George said. "They want to question us, because ours was the only building…" He took a deep breath. "How could this have happened?"

Fred shook his head. He glanced at the crowd of Aurors, where Ron and Walter -- the other employees who were scheduled to open that day -- were being questioned. He didn't think it was a faulty product or prototype, as he and George were extremely careful when it came to their products. Not to mention he overheard a passing Auror muttering something that sounded like 'arson'.

"Look at the smoke," Tracy said, still staring intently at it.

Fred didn't want to see the smoke rising from the ruins of his and George's joke shop. It was their dream, their livelihood. And now…

In the smoke, it appeared as though the words 'You should have listened' took shape. Fred's eyes widened. It didn't appear as though any of the Aurors or other onlookers had noticed. Unless he was mistaken, there was a faint trace of Reiki in the lettering. He turned to George, who had gone even paler at noticing the words.

"You don't think…?" Fred let his voice trail off.

George's expression darkened. "Karin," he spat out.

Fred looked back to the smoke. He didn't think that Karin would stoop so low as to destroy their shop's premises, but who else could it be? It was obvious that she wasn't happy with how things turned out, but she never struck him as being that violently vindictive.

Harry walked up to them, wearing a 'trainee' badge on his Auror robes. "I'm so sorry, you guys," he said to them, looking rather sleep-deprived. "I know what your shop meant to you--"

Fred waved him off. "Gives us extra incentive to open in Hogsmeade, doesn't it? Besides, we've still got our owl order business." Even though he tried to convince Harry that it wasn't that big a deal, he wasn't feeling that way in the least. Whether it was Karin or not, somebody had destroyed his shop. Who, though, was the question.

Harry sighed heavily. "Do you mind answering a few questions, and then making a statement? We're trying to piece together just what happened, and find any leads we can."

Fred was afraid of that. If he did have to answer anyone's questions, though, he was glad it was Harry's. He had a feeling that somehow the Underworld and Fred's second job as their detective would be brought up during the questioning. Harry would understand, and wouldn't delve any further into it than he needed to. Under the circumstances, Fred didn't feel like hiding anything any longer.

--- --- ---

Hermione held her hand to her mouth as Fred explained what had happened. He was still in disbelief over the destruction of his joke shop, although his initial shock had lessened to numbness. Who on earth would have done such a thing? He didn't believe that a rogue Death Eater would have bothered targeting Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, which was one of the theories that the Aurors were currently entertaining. Then again, there was the possibility that one of them had taken the whole 'U-No-Poo' thing from their first year of business seriously, and was only now exacting revenge. But why wait so long?

"It's a good thing nobody was there," Hermione said in a hushed tone as they sat across from one another at the dining room table at Tracy's house. "What if we had been there in the flat?"

Fred nodded. "They found traces of a magical barrier placed around our building," he said numbly. "So no damage would come to any of the other buildings." He placed his head in his hands. "It doesn't make sense. George is convinced Karin did it to be vindictive, but it doesn't seem like something she would do."

Hermione lowered her hand. "A demon, maybe?"

Fred shook his head. "The only demons who've been to the shop are Tracy and Ryou. Neither of them have any reason to do something like that."

Before Hermione could ask any more questions, the front door opened loudly, and the sound of an argument in progress could be heard.

"--It's not a good enough reason to just take off!" George protested as he followed Tracy inside. Tracy didn't say anything until they entered the dining room, where she gave a serious look to Fred and Hermione.

"You're free to stay here," she said. "I'm taking off, though. I think you're being targeted, and too many demons know where I live. I don't trust any of them to remain quiet under torture. I'm not staying here."

"I told you that it's probably Karin!" George protested. "She being vindictive over what happened yesterday!"

Tracy turned to him. "And she also knows where I live. I don't believe it was her who destroyed your shop, though."

Hermione turned to her. "Who do you think it was?"

Tracy shook her head. "I have my suspicions. On the way back here, George and I ran into a couple of demons that were fleeing town. They mentioned something about a 'scourge'."

"That doesn't mean anything," George said dismissively.

Tracy turned to him. "Perhaps not to you. In the demon community, you're considered to be a bit of a joke."

George frowned. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Tracy shrugged. "It means that you hardly strike fear into the hearts of demons as an Underworld detective should." She turned back to Fred and Hermione. "In any case, I'm going to find safety. As I said, you're free to stay here if you believe this to be safe enough." Without another word, she turned from them and left the room.

George grumbled and sat down at the table. "Dammit…"

Fred turned to him. "Aren't you going after her?"

George shook his head. "Maybe. I don't know. I still think it's Karin, but I can't prove it."

Fred rolled his eyes and glanced to Hermione, who looked deep in thought. "You should go back to the Burrow for now," he said. "At least until we find out who's targeting us and why."

Hermione nodded. "But don't you think it's possible that the Burrow might get attacked as well?"

"Maybe," Fred said. "But if we are being targeted, someone needs to warn everyone there while George and I try to find the person responsible."

Hermione frowned. "Aren't you afraid that this person will find you first?"

Fred shrugged. "Either way, someone needs to give the heads-up to my family, and I'd rather not leave you alone."

George stood up. "I'm going to try to convince Tracy to go there." He walked off in search of Tracy.

"I'll be heading back to the scene of the crime," Fred said, his insides twisting at referring to the shop in such a manner. "Karin might show up, or there might be some clues yet uncovered." Even though he quit, he felt more like a detective than ever. He couldn't leave things up to the Aurors alone. If someone had targeted him specifically, he had to find out who it was.

--- --- ---

The ruins of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes were taped off from the rest of Diagon Alley, and a couple of Aurors stood nearby to guard the site from people who would seek to disrupt the site. A few senior Aurors were still gathering evidence, casting spells to determine what spells were used and to determine what sort of wand was used. Even though Fred knew that they would rebuild their business, it still pained him to think that all their hard work could be so easily demolished.

Moonshine meowed from on top of his head, looking over at the damage. A couple of people gave Fred odd looks, but thankfully nobody said anything. He wasn't in the mood to answer anyone's questions.

George stood next to him, looking none too happy. He had been able to convince Tracy to stay at the Burrow temporarily with Hermione, at least until the twins got back. She had stationed her raven Kara to watch over them, while Sue was with her.

"I doubt that it was Karin," Fred said after George darkly mentioned Karin's name for what had to have been the twentieth time. "It doesn't seem her style."

"But it would be just like her to spite us," George said. "Besides, who's to say just what her style is? Neither of us know her all that well."

Fred was about to say something when Moonshine suddenly flew off his head towards the rubble. "Oi!" he called out, trying to follow past the tape blocking off the rubble. One of the Aurors at the scene stopped him from following.

"This site is closed," the Auror said gruffly. "You're going to need to move along."

Fred frowned. "But--"

"No buts," the Auror said. "Go on."

Grumbling, Fred went back to George. "Bunch of tossers. That was _our _place." He glanced to the gruff Auror, who was glaring at him. "Let's just go for now. We'll come back later."

"What about Moonshine?" George asked.

Fred glanced to his spirit beast, who was meowing at something that slowly moved towards the flying cat and then hopped onto its back. He realized it was a Pygmy Puff after Moonshine took flight with the small creature on its back. "I wonder…" Fred mused out loud. Could Moonshine have been conversing with the Pygmy Puff?

Fred turned back to George. "Let's go to the Leaky Cauldron," he said as his spirit beast took its place on his head.

George nodded, and they began to walk towards the pub. They could have Apparated, but Fred figured that walking might be better in case they found any clues along the way.

Halfway there, George nudged Fred. "I think we're being followed," he muttered, keeping his voice low.

Fred would have turned to look, but under the circumstances didn't think it to be a good idea. If they were being followed, it was better not to make any indication that they were aware of it.

To his credit, Fred was able to spin around and catch the first shot of the Spirit Gun relatively quickly. He was forced back slightly from the recoil of the foreign Reiki, but to his credit, he was able to hold the shot and neutralize it with his own Reiki. Then again, he had a feeling his opponent had been holding back tremendously.

"Not bad," a teenage girl with an American accent said. "Not good, either. Then again, I suppose something the old letch taught you must have stuck."

Fred narrowed his eyes. "Who are you?"

The girl smirked. "You don't know?" She scoffed. "I thought for sure that the Underworld would tell you guys about me. Or maybe you really are as stupid as you look."

Comprehension dawned on Fred's face as it clicked in his mind just who the girl was.

George chuckled. "I don't know who you are, but if you're here for a fight, then I'll warn you now that you'll lose!" He raised a finger into the air and smirked. "Wherever demons rampage, we'll be there to take them down. Whenever a bounty calls out to us--" He stopped suddenly and looked to Fred. "Didn't Karin once say that if there was a demon with a bounty on its head, that I'd get a part of it?"

Fred shrugged. "I don't know. But enough of the stupid introductions!"

George ignored him and turned back to the girl. "I am an ever so humble wizard, possessing awesome genius and striking good looks. With unwavering bravery and interminable will, I set forth to vanquish evil wherever it may be found--"

"George!" Fred shouted.

George gave him a funny look. "Do you mind?" He cleared his throat. "I am the invincible, handsome, genius Underworld detective, George Weasley!" He gestured to Fred. "And that's Fred. He's all right as well, I guess. Not quite right in the head, but he tries."

The girl looked at him like she thought he was crazy. Fred himself wondered if maybe George took one too many Bludgers to the head. "Right…" she said slowly. "I'm just gonna call you guys Beavis and Butthead. You act like you're just as intelligent as them."

Fred had no idea who 'Beavis and Butthead' were, but he didn't think that was a compliment. In any case, the girl had relaxed her stance, a serene expression on her face.

"Power of the wild that flows without…" she began chanting, making strange gestures with her hands. "Power of the spirit that flows within…"

Moonshine hissed, and without a bit of warning, sprayed a stream of fire at her while Kara swooped in at her, breaking her concentration. The girl screamed, raising her arms to block her face. With Moonshine (and the Pygmy Puff) on Fred's head, and Kara perched on George's shoulder, the twins Disapparated.

--- --- ---

Fred laid on his old bed at the Burrow, trying to clear his thoughts and figure a number of things out. The girl at Diagon Alley was someone he never saw before, but seemed to be somehow familiar with him and George. He wasn't stupid. He knew that she had to be the Mimi girl Karin had told them about the previous day. She knew how to use the Spirit Gun, had an American accent, and likely was a witch to be on Diagon Alley. Then again, some non-wizards found their way onto the alley without any apparent outside help. Karin and Ryou instantly came into mind. Fred didn't know how Tracy got onto Diagon Alley when George wasn't around to help her, but figured she probably had a way as well, even if she might not like to use or advertise it.

And she said that she was surprised the Underworld hadn't mentioned her… That clinched it for Fred. She had to be Mimi. Fred had no idea how many years had passed since Mimi was recruited as an Underworld detective, but he remembered how Janice mentioned that his predecessor had been thirteen when she was first recruited. The teenager they met in the alley couldn't have been any older than sixteen, seventeen at the most. She was probably the one responsible for the destruction of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes as well. The Aurors _did_ say that a magical barrier had been erected around the building, and the words in the smoke had been formed out of Reiki. There weren't too many people he knew of who could use both magic and Reiki. At any rate, she certainly had his attention.

"We need to find out why we're supposed to take out Mimi," he said, not really addressing anyone in particular. George and Tracy were having a minor argument on George's bed over the safety of the Burrow, particularly since Fred and George had Apparated there after escaping from Mimi. The anti-Apparation wards had been taken down not long ago, since the war against Voldemort was over and most of his Death Eaters were captured. It was both a blessing and a curse at the moment. It was good thing that they could make a quick escape if they needed to, but bad if Mimi could Apparate and knew about the Burrow.

Hermione was looking through a book and researching the Fidelius Charm, which they all agreed would definitely provide stronger protection for wherever it was they went. Fred didn't know whether Reiki could be sensed through magical cloaking, but hoped that wasn't the case. In the corner, Moonshine was apparently having some sort of conversation with the Pygmy Puff.

"Is that who you think that girl was?" Hermione not looking up from her book. She was sitting on the floor, her back against the side of Fred's bed.

Fred nodded. "I'm sure of it. She's probably the one who destroyed the shop, too."

George glanced over at him. "I thought it was Karin who did it."

Tracy sighed. "For the last time, George, why would Karin destroy your shop? And more importantly, _how _would she do it? She's not _that _powerful, and it would be immediate grounds for her dismissal from duty. That means death for someone like her. I would say Fred's theory of your assailant being responsible is far more likely."

"But why?" Hermione asked. "She doesn't know either of you, so why target you?"

Fred brought an arm under his head. "No idea. But I have a feeling Karin might know."

George frowned. "You can't be serious about asking her--"

"Enough, George!" Fred exclaimed. "The two of you have serious problems. I _get _it. Now let it go!"

George folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not the one with the problem. She is."

Fred rolled his eyes. "Whatever. She's the one who gave us this assignment, though, so she probably knows a lot more about what's going on than we do."

"You're going to accept it?" Tracy asked.

Fred paused. "Not as it is. I don't like the idea of being told to kill anyone in cold blood. Besides, every instinct I have is telling me that there's something off about all of this. But if Mimi is targeting us, it might be a good idea to hear what Karin has to say." He glanced over at George. "Any ideas on what it was she was trying to do before Moonshine and Kara attacked her?"

Moonshine glanced over at him at the mention of its name and meowed loudly.

"Maybe she was reciting poetry?" George suggested, shrugging.

Moonshine meowed again, and flew towards Hermione, landing next to where she had parchment sprawled out in front of her.

Hermione blinked. "Er, Fred?"

Fred glanced down at the floor at Moonshine, who was hovering in the air, holding a quill between its front paws, and writing on a piece of parchment. His eyes widened.

"Spirit beasts are smarter than ordinary animals," Tracy said, not looking surprised in the least. "I'm sure you've noticed that familiars like Crookshanks or Kara and Sue are more intelligent than their ordinary counterparts. Spirit beasts are even more so."

"I doubt any of them would be writing anything," Hermione said, staring in amazement at Moonshine. She positioned herself so she could see what was being written, and read it out loud. "'Magic + Reiki = Boom'," she read. She blinked. "What does that mean?"

"According to Karin, Mimi was experimenting with combining magic and Reiki," Tracy said.

Moonshine continued writing, and Hermione read it out loud. "'Furball says stupid clone's place of mating not destroyed by violent oar girl. Says by strange girl.'" She looked to Moonshine. "Stupid clone's place of mating?" she repeated.

Moonshine meowed, and gestured to George with one paw.

Fred snickered. "I guess Moonshine is referring to the shop as a place where you 'mate' a lot."

Moonshine meowed, and made a gesture that looked like a nod.

George frowned. "Did that thing just refer to me as a 'stupid clone'?"

Moonshine meowed again, once more nodding.

Fred laughed. He sat up and glanced to the door when he heard a knock on it. The door opened, and his mother looked in.

"Fred? George? There's someone here to see you both," she said.

Fred froze. Had Mimi tracked them there? "Who is it?" he asked cautiously.

"I think that one of them is that girl who helped carry George back when he'd been stabbed in the leg." She frowned. "I thought you were done with this Underworld nonsense… Never mind. I've never met the man she was with. He's dressed rather peculiarly, though."

"Karin?" George asked, eyes narrowed. "What does she want?"

"She didn't say," his mother replied. "And it's rude to keep guests waiting." She turned away, leaving the door open and walking down the hallway.

Fred glanced to George before getting up. "Be civil to her."

Tracy gave them a hesitant look. "If the two of you decide to accept the assignment for whatever reason, I blackmailed you both into it."

Hermione shot her an odd look. "Why would you blackmail them into it?"

Tracy smiled. "The harder they are to convince to accept the assignment, the more I can talk my sentence into being reduced by," she reasoned, standing up. She held a hand out to George, who took it and stood up.

"You know," he said, "I should be the one helping you up."

Tracy shrugged. "You should know well enough by now that I do not abide by gender roles. Chivalry does not impress me, as it is little more than a perpetuation of the sexist notion that females are the weaker of the two genders and males must go out of their way to 'behave' for them."

George raised an eyebrow. "That reminds me. Did we leave the paddle in the back room, or did we bring it back to the house?"

"George…" Fred said in a warning tone as he helped Hermione up. Finished with its writing, Moonshine curled up on Fred's pillow to take a nap.

Tracy chuckled. "I made sure to bring it back. It's in the basement."

"We don't need to know what kind of sex toys you have where," Hermione said, frowning.

Tracy nodded. "My apologies." She glanced to George, and with a smirk, said, "I suppose that means that we shouldn't mention that the feather duster in the hall closet of the second floor isn't for cleaning."

"You just did," Fred said flatly as he led them out of the room.

Sitting at the kitchen table of the Burrow were Karin and a young man with chestnut brown hair that Fred did not recognize. He was dressed in some sort of odd tunic and cape, and wore a red headband around his forehead. The strangest thing about him was that he appeared to have a pacifier in his mouth.

"It's been a while, Fred Weasley," the young man spoke as they approached. Fred was amazed that he was able to speak around the pacifier. "Karin tells me that your reijuu has hatched. She also informed me of a number of other things."

Fred blinked at the stranger's familiarity. "Er, have we met?"

The young man sighed and shook his head. "How soon they forget…"

"Lord Koenma? I don't think they recognize you in this form," Karin said.

Fred glanced to her, and then back to the young man. "Koenma?!" He pointed at him as he sat down. "But that's impossible! You're supposed to look like you're still in diapers, not like you're my age!"

Koenma's eye twitched. "I can assure you that I most certainly am Koenma. I only take this form to better fit in while in the human realm."

"Or the demon plane," Karin interjected.

"There, too," Koenma said, waving her off dismissively. "I was told that you've decided to quit, is that correct?"

"You're not planning on sending my boys out on any dangerous mission, are you?" Mrs. Weasley demanded as she turned to them from where she was making tea on the stove.

"I'm not _planning _to, no," Koenma said. "However, that decision is not up to me. The Underworld has reason to believe that they're being targeted by an extremely dangerous individual." He turned to Fred. "Master Tesen has informed me that after you left training, his former protégé started asking questions about you. We've watched her for a while, so when I was notified that she had purchased a one-way ticket to London, I became extremely concerned."

"You think she'll try to kill us," Fred said flatly. "Is that why you want us to kill her?"

Koenma hesitated. "My father issued an execution order on Mimi. It is something that all who work for the Underworld must abide by. But there is no doubt that if you let your guard down, she will kill you. It's obvious that she's come here after you. If I may ask, though, why did you come here, of all places? It's not safe."

"That's what I would like to know," Tracy said, giving George a pointed look as she sat next to him.

George frowned. "There's still a bunch of security wards up! You're the one who didn't want to stay behind at the house!"

Tracy shrugged. "If this Mimi girl could so easily discover where it was you worked, who's to say that she hasn't done further research on you?" She looked to Karin. "It's possible that she's even been supplied information."

Karin frowned. "I've never even met her! I only know about her from what I've been told!"

"Do you ever speak of your charges with others in the Underworld?" Tracy asked. At Karin's stricken look, she smiled slightly. "I'm sure that much of what you've been told about her probably comes from the conjecture of the rumor mill, which you've likely contributed to. I'm sure that she must have had an assistant of her own, back in her day. Who is to say that her former assistant hasn't told her anything about her successors?"

Koenma closed his eyes, nodding gravely. "Mimi's former assistant Felicia reluctantly admitted to helping her gather information about you from the Underworld. Felicia swears that she did not know why exactly Mimi wanted the information at the time, but now thinks that she meant to use it to go after you."

"Why would anyone want to kill my boys?" Mrs. Weasley asked, passing out cups of tea.

Koenma took a deep breath. "Mimi is angry at the Underworld for personal reasons. I'm hoping this isn't the case, but she might just be taking her anger and frustration out on them because they work for the Underworld just like she used to do. I can't say for certain whether she's trying to kill them or not, but it's safer to assume that she is." He turned to Fred. "I know how distasteful this assignment is to you, and--"

"They might do it," Tracy interrupted. "We spoke about this assignment, and I believe I'll be able to persuade them into agreeing. Of course, their participation depends on if I'm satisfied with the amount of time reduced from my sentence."

"What sentence?" Mrs. Weasley demanded as she sat down at the table as well.

Tracy turned to her. "I stole an item from the Underworld's vault to allow myself to transfer my magical ability to my sister. I had no real need for it, and I know how much she was looking forward to going to Hogwarts. It has since been returned to the vault, but I do have to serve a sentence with the Underworld for the theft."

"She turned herself in," Koenma said before turning to Tracy. "However, you also vouched for Ryou, who so far has shown nothing but extreme laziness and pickiness over which assignments to accept or not--"

"Let her off," Karin said, glancing to Koenma. At the look Koenma gave her, she sighed. "She shouldn't be fighting."

Fred glanced at George, who had gone slightly pale. George had been thinking of how to break the news of Tracy's pregnancy to the rest of the family, but hadn't done so yet. Those who did know also knew not to tell anyone just yet… except Karin, who knew of Tracy's pregnancy due to George blurting it out yesterday.

Koenma narrowed his eyes. "She is a perfectly capable fighter, and has dealt with many dangerous demons--"

"She's pregnant," Karin interrupted, looking down at her teacup.

"What?!" Mrs. Weasley screeched. She turned to George and Tracy. "Is that why you're getting married so soon?! Just when had you planned on telling me?!"

George winced. "We just found out, mum. She's not that far along, and it wasn't until _after _we got engaged that we started trying."

"Trying?!"

Koenma cleared his throat. "Not to get off topic, but this is hardly the time to discuss such matters. We'll discuss whether I accept your resignation _after _Mimi is dealt with. Running away won't do much good, and the Underworld does have reason to believe that she knows--"

Whatever he had to say next was interrupted as Ron stood in the doorway that led from the kitchen to the yard. He looked rather pale. "Fred? George? You might want to get out here."

"What's wrong?" Fred asked, glancing towards his younger brother.

Ron glanced nervously over his shoulder, and then shook his head. "Get out here."

Fred stood up, and glanced to George, who was frowning. This didn't sound good.

They followed Ron outside, paling as they saw half a dozen demons forming a half circle by the entrance. Standing in front of the demons, the girl from before stood with her arms crossed. She appeared to be holding two wands, one of which was presumably Ron's. She was smirking with self-satisfaction.

"I suppose I could consider it a stroke of good luck that you'd ever so predictably come here to hide from me," she said, pointing one of the wands at Ron. "And of course, to have such a convenient hostage."

"Let him go!" Fred growled.

The girl chuckled. "Does that ever work?"

"Mimi!" Koenma shouted as he exited the house. "You don't have to do this!"

Mimi scowled. "Stay out of this, Koenma! It's your fault, anyway! You _knew_!"

Fred did not know or care what she was referring to. All that mattered was getting Ron's wand from her and making sure nobody got hurt. He noticed that a couple of demons had gotten closer to Ron, one of them grabbing him by the shoulders.

He had no idea how quick to duel Mimi was, but ignoring the demons -- none of which looked too powerful -- they outnumbered her.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Fred cast, at the same time that George fired off his Spirit Gun.

Mimi shrieked as Ron's wand went flying out of her hand and into Fred's. The Spirit Gun hit the demon holding Ron, knocking it to the ground unconscious. "Barrier!" she shouted, throwing a hand out. The air in front of her shifted and shimmered briefly before returning to normal. Fred tossed Ron's wand back to his younger brother, who caught it.

Tracy, who at some point of time exited the house, went up to Ron and swung her sword of darkness at a demon that tried to intercept her, cleaving it in half. "You can Apparate, right?" she asked Ron. "There's somewhere I want you to take me."

George turned to her. "You're running away?!" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm regrouping," she replied before telling Ron some coordinates and grabbing onto his arm. He nodded in understanding, and they Disapparated.

George swore as he hit a demon who had rushed at him. Fred was fighting a demon himself, vaguely aware that Koenma was standing by the doorway, looking torn, while Karin stood next to the prince of the Underworld, holding her oar.

With two demons flanking her protectively, Mimi began chanting, making strange hand gestures. "Power of the wild that flows without… Power of the spirit that flows within…"

"Sakura Storm!" Karin shouted, sending a flurry of cherry blossom petals rushing at Mimi. One of the demons that flanked her moved to stand in front of her, but the petals were stopped in mid-air by the barrier that Mimi had previously erected.

"I call upon thee to join together…" Mimi continued, not acting concerned in the least that someone had just attempted to attack her. "Let the power of chaos flow free throughout my body…"

Koenma put a hand on Karin's arm. "They have to deal with this without our interference. If they can't…" he let his voice trail off before shaking his head. "We're not supposed to interfere. Believe in them."

Karin turned to him. "But Lord Koenma…"

Fred shot a Spirit Gun at the face of the demon he was fighting at point blank range. He had to stop Mimi from doing whatever she was trying to do. He didn't know whether he would be able to command such a tremendous amount of power as he had back at Arkayos, but had to hope that he could. The technique seemed to be his ace in the hole, at least, draining though it was.

"And destroy all who stand in our way!" Mimi raised a hand into the air. "Chaos--"

Fred aimed his palm at Mimi. "Shining--"

"--Blast!" Mimi leveled her hand at Fred, and a small ball of black light shot out at him.

Before Fred could finish gathering the needed power and unleash his attack at Mimi, George shoved him out of the way and took the blast intended for him. As the ball of black light impacted with George's chest, there was a loud banging sound, like an explosive detonating.

Fred's eyes widened. "George!" he screamed.

"_Aniki!" Hiru shouted after his brother took the hunter's arrow intended for him._

Mimi quirked an eyebrow and chuckled in disbelief. "I thought you guys went through training. How could he be down already?"

"Not… down…" George coughed as he fell to the ground, coughing up a bit of blood. Fred knelt down by him. He could see where the blast had exited George's back.

_Yoru coughed up a bit of blood. "Keep… running…" he coughed as he collapsed to his knees, too weak to stand. The arrow was still sticking out of his chest, and the portal to the human realm was mere feet away._

Fred looked over his shoulder toward the house. "Why are you just standing there?" she shouted at Karin and Koenma. "Heal him!"

Karin tried to move forward, but Koenma stopped her and shook his head, looking a bit pained. "The Underworld has a strict 'no interference' policy."

Fred thought that was utter bull, and turned back to George. "Stay awake, George," he pleaded, ignoring Mimi, who had started chanting once more. "You can't leave me."

_Hiru tried to pull the arrow from his brother's chest before realizing it was only hurting his brother more. "Come on, aniki," he pleaded. "We're almost there."_

An arrow shot from the vicinity of the house to strike one of the demons protecting Mimi. Seconds later, Hermione followed up with a second arrow to strike the other demon. Neither of them were serious injuries, but enough to gain the demons' attentions and cause them to break formation as they advanced on her. "Er, Fred?" Hermione called as she took a step back before her face screwed up in determination. She cast a spell, and some knives from the kitchen sailed through the air at the demons.

George smiled weakly. "Protect her…" he said. "Sorry… Couldn't protect…"

_Yoru smiled weakly at his brother. "You go…" he said. "Promised… To protect you…"_

Fred glared up at Mimi, leveling a hand at her. It sounded like she was casting the same incantation as before, but wasn't done with it yet. That meant he had time. "Shining--"

_Hiru glared in the general direction of their pursuers. He would let them deal with the consequences. He leveled a hand towards the hunters emerging from the woods. "Shining--"_

"--Inferno!" Golden flames shot out of Fred's hand, becoming a raging cyclone of fire that advanced upon Mimi, who paused mid-chant.

"_--Inferno!" A stream of golden fire erupted from Hiru's hand, engulfing the hunters and becoming a raging tornado that swept them up, consuming them as it burned. Foliage in the pathway caught aflame._

Mimi screamed as the cyclone of fire hit her. Her Reiki rose protectively, preventing herself from being too badly burned.

Fred didn't care about her, though. She had stopped chanting. He turned back to George, who was barely moving, and looking extremely weak. "Don't leave me," he said, tears falling down his face. "I still need you…"

_Hiru held onto his brother, dragging him to the portal. "Take your spirit form," he begged, tears falling down his face. "I need you…"_

George cracked open an eye, looking up at Fred. "Not going anywhere," he said weakly.

_Yoru looked over at Hiru. "Not leaving without you," he said weakly._

Fred nodded. "Good. Be stubborn." He glanced back at Koenma. "Help him, dammit!"

_Hiru growled and his golden tail swished in annoyance. "I'll do it, too. Just do it."_

Koenma appeared to be busy, though. He and Karin were trying to hold back the two demons that had been advancing on Hermione and the house, although it was obvious that neither were really fighters.

Making a frustrated noise, Fred looked back to George, whose eyes were closed. George was far too still…

_Yoru closed his eyes. A silver light surrounded his body, and then his body was no longer his body, but a translucent silver fox._

George was surrounded by a blinding silver light that made it impossible to look at him.


	25. 25 Passing the Torch

**Chapter 25**: Passing the Torch  
[_September 3, 1998_]

--- --- ---

Ron Apparated back to the Burrow, Tracy and Ryou on either side of him. Ryou had just woke up when they came for him, and hadn't even bothered to put on any more clothes before heading back to the Burrow with them, so was only wearing a pair of jeans that he had slept in. Ron's eyes widened as he saw the scene before him. His brother Fred was kneeling on the ground, holding George's body, which appeared to be glowing a bright silver light. Two of the demons that the strange girl had brought with her were fighting two people Ron had never been officially introduced to, although he vaguely recognized the girl wielding an oar. Hermione was occasionally shooting arrows at the demons from her spot in the doorway. Soon, Tracy and Ryou had jumped into the fray, easily disposing of the two demons.

Fred opened his eyes as the light around George faded and his twin moved in his arms, slowly sitting up. "George?"

Except that it wasn't quite George. He looked like George, but there were differences. His facial features were the same, but his hair was a dark auburn instead of his normal bright red, and he had a silver fox tail and ears. One of the fox ears looked to be partially missing. He slowly opened his eyes, which were silver in color instead of the usual hazel. He looked up at Fred. "Hiru?" he whispered, his voice sounding similar, if a bit deeper than George's normal voice. He turned to Mimi, who was staring in shock at the scene.

"Demons?" Mimi asked in a hushed tone. She glared over at Koenma. "You recruited _demons_ to be my successors?!"

Koenma looked to be in a state of shocked disbelief. "I didn't…" He shook his head. "I checked… There aren't any demons in their lineage…"

"Of course there aren't," Tracy said, smiling slightly. "You wouldn't know, since not even they knew… Strange, how fate works out sometimes. Right, Yoru?"

George -- or the fox demon in George's place -- looked over at her. "Kuroi," he said, curling his lips into a twisted smile. One of his short fangs glistened in the sunlight.

She shook her head. "Tracy now," she said. "Just as you'll be George, once this is over and you're you again."

Mimi made a war cry. "Enough of this! You're in a battle here!" She began to make the weird hand gestures again. "Power of the wild that flows--"

George suddenly stood up, and wrapped a hand around her throat. "Try me, human."

"Let her go!" Fred called, moving to his brother's side and trying to get George to release her. "George-- Yoru-- Whoever you are! You're not a killer! Don't give in like this!"

George looked over at Fred lazily, his silver eyes meeting Fred's hazel eyes. "She tried to kill you."

Fred nodded. "I know, but there has to be some other way," he tried to reason. He pulled George's hand off Mimi's throat. The teenage girl coughed, holding a hand to her throat. Fred glanced to her. "Why did you come after us?"

Mimi glared at him, and moved one hand in front of her. A wave of Reiki blasted the twins away from her. "Fools," she growled.

George tried to go after her, but Fred held him back. "George, no. We're not killers," Fred said.

'_Yes, we are_,' a small voice in the back of Fred's mind said.

George narrowed his silver eyes. "Why should her life be spared?"

'_It shouldn't_,' the small voice said.

Fred tried to ignore the voice. He couldn't think of any good reason, so just shook his head. Despite everything, his instincts were telling him there was something incredibly wrong about the situation, and that nothing would be gained by killing her. Besides, he wasn't a killer.

In their distraction, the twins were hit by dual blasts of Mimi's Spirit Gun, knocking them down to the ground. "Pay attention when someone's fighting you!" she yelled.

Fred picked himself up off the ground, only to be hit by another Spirit Gun before Mimi rushed at George and hit him with a Reiki-infused punch.

The demon that George had previously knocked unconscious with a Spirit Gun got up off the ground, only to be encased in ice by Ryou. "Looks like we weren't really needed," he said, glancing to Tracy as George and Mimi exchanged punches. "Unless you feel like jumping in to help him, that is."

Tracy shook her head. "This isn't our fight. I doubt he would accept our interference," she said. "Yoru never did like anyone interfering when he was fighting, and it seems like he's in control right now."

Fred picked himself off the ground once more, narrowing his eyes at the fight. While reverting to his demon form seemed to have given him renewed strength, not to mention partially healed his wound, George was still badly injured, and looked to be losing the battle. George doubled over as Mimi unleashed a flurry of punches to where her previous blast had hit him in the stomach.

Fred took aim, focusing as much power as he could, and fired a Spirit Gun at Mimi. If it had any effect on her, she didn't show it as she sent George flying.

'_This is ridiculous_,' the small voice said.

Fred took aim once more, and then froze as a golden light surrounded him. He tried to lower his hand, but quickly realized that he no longer had control over his body. As the light faded, he realized that he must have regressed to his demon form as well. His golden fox tail swished behind him, and one of his ears flicked as the light cleared. Mimi turned to face him, a look of surprise on her face.

He felt himself smirking cruelly as he unleashed the Spirit Gun. While normally the Reiki attack looked to be a vague soft blue, it had a decidedly golden hue to it.

Mimi shrieked as she was hit by the attack, flying a few feet before falling to the ground. Fred felt himself advancing upon her.

'_Stop_,' he tried to tell himself, struggling to regain control over his body.

"Shining Inferno!" he shouted. Golden flames shot from his hand before becoming a raging tornado that swept Mimi in its path. After a few seconds, the tornado died down, and the former Underworld detective fell to the ground.

Fred took a couple steps closer, preparing another Spirit Gun.

'_Hiru, stop_!' Fred tried to tell himself. He didn't want to win the battle like this. He didn't want to kill her. No matter what she might have done, there had to be another way. Everything about this was completely wrong.

For the briefest of instances, he hesitated before firing one last Spirit Gun at the battered girl's prone body. She coughed up blood as the attack tore through her.

Fred could hear himself chuckle coldly as he took a few steps forward. Not wanting to do any more damage, Fred concentrated on forcing himself to stop. He froze in his footsteps, and his golden eyes widened as he regained control of his body. "Not like this," he muttered, going over to Mimi. He couldn't have killed her… could he?

George picked himself up off the ground, Tracy right by his side. He had reverted to his human form, and she was trying to help him get closer to the house. Hermione had approached, and was trying to heal him using the Reiki healing techniques Karin had taught her almost two months ago. Koenma was still trying to prevent Karin from interfering.

Mimi coughed up some blood, opening her eyes painfully. "Figures… Had to be… demons…" She struggled to stand.

"I'm not a demon," Fred said. He was aware that he was still in his demon form and had a tail, which was flickering behind him as he stood in front of her. "I don't understand what it is you have against us, but there's no reason to fight."

Mimi glared at him as she staggered to her feet. "You're weak…"

Koenma gave up on trying to hold Karin back and walked over to them. "Mimi, they were chosen for a reason. Your time is over."

"Tell them…" Mimi said, looking over at Koenma. Her eyes narrowed. "Why… fighting…"

Fred glanced to Koenma. "What is she talking about?"

Mimi chuckled briefly before coughing up some blood and sinking to her knees. "Had to… make sure… strong enough…" She hissed in pain, and clutched her hands to her bloodied stomach. "Refuse to… go to Underworld…"

Koenma sighed. "That's not up to you, Mimi. When you die--"

"No!" she protested. She looked to Fred. "Bastards… used me… just like… using you."

"She was recruited even though it was known by the Underworld that she was dying," Karin said from where she was helping Hermione to heal George.

Koenma looked over at her. "You're not supposed to divulge information like that!"

Karin shook her head. "Don't you think they deserve to know why all of this is happening?" she asked, moving over to Mimi and bending down by her. "Even if I heal you now, you'll just die in a few weeks anyway."

"Don't…" Mimi said. "Rather… die fighting…"

Fred looked from Karin to Mimi. "Dying? Why would she die anyway?"

"Tumor…" Mimi said, coughing up a bit of blood. "Doctor said… three weeks… Had to make sure…"

"You had to make sure we were strong enough to take your place," Fred said.

Mimi shook her head as she let herself fall to the ground. "For nobody… to take yours."

George, whose injury had been healed so that it was no longer life threatening, staggered over to Mimi. "Why did you blow up our shop?"

Mimi smirked and closed her eyes. "Like to… blow stuff up," she said snarkily before falling silent and still.

Koenma glanced to Karin. "Do you wish to wait for Felicia, or will you take her?"

Karin shook her head. "She'll refuse. She knows Mimi well enough to know that she'll blaze her own path." She looked down at Mimi's body. "Not even the Underworld knows what exactly happens when a person dies," she said quietly. "I suppose you could say that we just sort the dead who can't find their own way."

Ron cleared his throat from where he stood by the house. "Will somebody please explain to me what the hell just happened? Why were Fred and George glowing, why did George have a tail, and why the hell does Fred still have a tail?"

"That's what I would like to know," his mother said from the doorway.

Ryou glanced to them. "You're better off not knowing." He sneezed. "Bloody hell," Ryou muttered as he took female form.

Ron's eyes widened as he got an eyeful of the female Ryou wearing only a pair of jeans and no shirt.

Fred glanced back at Ryou. He had a feeling there was a lot of explanations ahead of him.

--- --- ---

Sitting around the kitchen table at the Burrow, explanations were passed around. Koenma needed to leave back for work, but before he left, he gave a theory of what Mimi was after. She had recently been diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor -- something the Underworld knew she would die from before she was recruited as an Underworld detective -- so had gotten a bit desperate. She had expected to be the last Underworld detective needed, because she knew what needed to be done and was highly efficient. The presence of demons in the human realm could only lead to humans discovering the existence of demons someday, which would launch a wide-range panic and possible war.

Most demons kept to themselves, maintaining low profiles and policing themselves. An Underworld detective was sometimes needed to help police demons, but for the most part wasn't really necessary at all. That ticked Fred off immensely when told that he and George weren't really needed by the Underworld.

He also had not been satisfied with Koenma's explanation that Mimi was 'testing' Fred and George, trying to make sure they were up to the task ahead of them. He couldn't quite explain it, but he had a feeling that there was more than that going on. Truth be told, Fred was liking the Underworld less and less. He made it quite clear that while he understood he owed a debt for being brought back to life, he was not going to be called upon for every little thing that came along. Only if it was important and something that truly _needed_ his intervention would the Underworld darken his doorstep.

Before Koenma and Karin left to go back to the Underworld, Karin handed Fred an envelope addressed to him that had been found on Mimi's body. Representatives from the Underworld had been called in to clear the bodies of the demons and former Underworld detective. Fred hadn't looked at the letter in the envelope yet, but planned to as soon as he had the chance.

He was rather grateful that he had reverted back to his normal 'Fred' form, though. He didn't particularly enjoy sitting around in his demonic 'Hiru' form. He didn't consider himself a demon, for one. And it was very hard to sit in a chair properly when his tail was wanting to wave around.

Tracy explained that sometimes when a demon reincarnated as a human, the human could revert to their demon form in times of great need or by expending a tremendous amount of power. Neither of the twins had done so previously due to being unaware of their demonic background, and having never been in a circumstance that warranted the reversion since realizing who they were. George had obviously reverted to his demon form because he was dying, while Fred had likely reverted to his because some instinct in him knew that he couldn't have finished the job otherwise. Or, as Tracy put it bluntly after Fred looked at her blankly, 'Hiru has a mind of his own and always has been an obnoxious little arse.' They might be able to take on their demon forms in the future if the need arose, but they shouldn't count on it. Hiru and Yoru were different than Fred and George, and it was better to hope they remained mere memories.

"What do you mean, my boys are demons?!" their mother had screeched after Tracy was done explaining about Fred and George's past lives as the demonic fox brothers.

Tracy shrugged. "Reincarnations of demons. They're human now, and will remain as such unless they deliberately choose not to."

"Are you going to?" George asked. "Stay human, that is?"

Tracy paused. "I haven't decided to go back to living as a demon, if that's what you mean. I can't say that I'm in any big rush to go back to the demon plane, at least. There's no take out restaurants, for one thing."

Fred nodded sagely. "Or indoor plumbing," he added.

"That, too," Tracy agreed.

Ron glanced to Ryou, who wore a sullen look on her face. "So how'd you transform into a girl?"

Ryou glared at him. "I was cursed," she said curtly. She was still in her female form, looking none too happy about it. She was wearing a spare shirt of Ron's that was handed to her after being told it was 'inappropriate for young ladies to wander about topless'. It had taken five minutes to calm her down after she was referred to as a 'lady'. "Laugh and I slit your throat."

Tracy raised an eyebrow in amusement and glanced to Ron, who was backing away from Ryou. "She doesn't really mean that. She's just upset because I believe it's that time of the month."

Ryou growled and stood up. "Listen up, Kuroi! This was a complete waste of time and nothing that you couldn't have taken care of yourself! I refuse to be dressed up, dragged around, and otherwise humiliated just for your twisted amusement!"

"We still have that Vallum bloke's notes," Fred said, trying to prevent a fight from breaking out. "From what I could see, he'd gotten a wizard to help him out with some parts of it. I'm pretty sure that I could figure out a way to lift the curse."

Ryou turned to him, glaring. She looked like she was about to say something for a moment before she sat back down in a huff. "Do what you want."

Ron, who had moved as far away from Ryou as he could, looked to Hermione. "How long have you been fighting demons?"

"I don't," she said. "But I couldn't just sit by and do nothing. Karin taught me a few healing techniques, even though I'm not very good at them. I've also practiced my archery since--" She glanced at Ryou, who seemed to be ignoring her. "Well, I just wanted to do something."

"You shouldn't be fighting in your condition," Mrs. Weasley said. She turned to Tracy. "And you're pregnant with George's child?"

Tracy nodded. "According to the test results, at least."

George smiled. "I know she is, test results or not."

"Why would you deliberately try to have a child when you're not even married yet?" his mother demanded.

"Because marriage is just a formality," George said. "And she won't elope."

"She'll be showing when you get married!" Mrs. Weasley protested.

"You were showing when you and dad got married," George reasoned. "Besides, would you rather us have an actual wedding, or should we just elope like you guys did?"

His mother had nothing to say to that. It was obvious she wanted him to have a real wedding, but wanted him to have one before Tracy was showing. The planned wedding date of New Year's Day was perhaps the ideal time for a wedding, as everyone would be available to attend.

Ryou gave Tracy a funny look. "Why would you allow yourself to bear this idiot's child?"

"Flipped a coin," Tracy said.

Hermione glanced to her. "Did you really?"

Tracy just smiled in response, not elaborating any further.

George glared at Ryou. "Would you stop calling me an idiot, cross-dresser?"

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "You're in no position to refer to me as a cross-dresser. I know you went on that idiotic cross-dressing mission, and I have the pictures to prove it."

George blinked. "What?"

"Where did you get pictures?!" Fred demanded.

Ryou gestured to Tracy.

Tracy smiled coyly. "Didn't I tell you? Janice took a few pictures of you guys once you were all dressed up."

Hermione nodded. "Surprisingly, you guys are more attractive women than I thought you'd be."

Ron glanced between them. "Fred and George dressed up as girls? You've got to show me the pictures."

"Consider it done," Hermione said.

"Ron, please tell me that you have no plans on doing something stupid like getting a girl pregnant before marriage?" his mother asked.

Ron shook his head. "I don't even have a girlfriend. I'd be more worried about Charlie and his 'stripper of the week', though."

His mother frowned. "Yes, I'll need to have a talk with him once he comes home from work. I'm glad he decided to get a job closer to home for now, even if he does plan on going back to play with dragons next summer."

Ryou glanced to Tracy. "Isn't that the name of the guy that you--"

"Yes," she interrupted. "Now drop it."

George narrowed his eyes. "Let's not talk about Charlie."

Fred chuckled. From the sounds of it, Ryou was aware that Tracy and Charlie had a one night stand together. While he _could _tease his twin about it, he also realized that George seemed to be a bit sensitive over it. He couldn't really blame him. After all, if Hermione had slept with one of his brothers before getting together with him, he might be a bit sensitive about it as well. Then again, Hermione wasn't someone who had multiple sexual partners in her past.

"What are you guys going to do about the shop?" Ron asked tactlessly.

"Owl order, for now," George said, looking a bit grateful for the subject change. "After that, we're going to try to re-open in Hogsmeade."

Ron nodded. "Are you keeping on the same employees?"

George shrugged. "Haven't decided yet, but I'd start looking for a different job if I were you, Ron."

Fred chuckled. "We might let you clean up after the owls, though."

Ron frowned. "You guys suck."

"Ron!" his mother chided. "Watch your mouth!"

Ryou stood up. "As entertaining as this inane drivel may be, I fail to see how this concerns me, so I'll be heading out." She paused. "Where am I, anyway?"

Fred chuckled. "We're kind of on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole. I doubt that you've heard of the village, though."

"That's where Lari lives. She owes me about fifty zeni," Ryou said.

"Er, you're still wearing my shirt," Ron said. "How long are you stuck as a girl?"

Tracy smirked. "Why don't you kiss her and find out?"

Ryou glared at her. "Go to hell, Kuroi." She walked towards the door that led back outside.

"You do realize that zeni can't really be used in the human realm, right?" Fred asked before Ryou left. "I suppose some places will take it, but for the most part it's used in the demon plane."

Ryou flashed a rude hand gesture at him before leaving.

Hermione glanced to Fred. "How do you know that?"

Fred shrugged. "I'm not quite sure. It's probably one of those things I knew as Hiru."

His mother turned to him. "If you're a demon, then what happened to the real Fred?"

"He is the real Fred," Tracy said on his behalf. "Many people have lived lives in the past. His past life just happened to be that of a demon."

"Are the four of you going to be staying the night?" Ron asked.

"I have work at the diner tonight," Tracy said. "I'll need someone to take me back to London before I do."

"Call in sick," George said. "Stay with me."

Tracy looked torn for a brief moment. "If I keep calling in sick, I'll eventually be fired."

He turned to her. "So? Claim you're having a bad bout with morning sickness."

Tracy sighed. "Except I haven't had any morning sickness. And my boss does not know that I might be pregnant, and I would prefer to keep it that way until I have another job lined up."

George held one of her hands in his. "You have a job with us, remember? We can give you more hours if you need them. Just please stay with me here tonight?" he pleaded.

"You will be in separate rooms, you realize," his mother said, her mouth pursed into a frown. "I won't have any… immoral behavior going on."

Fred chuckled. "Too bad for you, George."

George made a face. "That means you and Hermione won't be sharing a room, either."

Fred shrugged. "Yeah, but we can spend five minutes in the same room without having sex."

"We've been here for over half an hour and I haven't had sex with her yet, have I?" George protested.

Hermione shot him an odd look. "Yes, but your mother's in the same room, in case you've forgotten."

Ron glanced to Tracy. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear anything that hinted at a sex life between my best friend and older brother, but there is something that's been bothering me for a while. Weren't you in school with me? A Ravenclaw?"

"Slytherin," Tracy corrected. "But yes, we were in the same year together." At Ron's incredulous look, she added, "I kept to myself, wore spectacles, and wore baggy clothing. I tried not to attract notice."

"And I made it a point to know who all the Slytherins were," Fred said. "Had to know who the best targets were, you know. Although it's pretty sad that you had classes with her for six years and didn't realize what house she was in."

Ron shrugged. "Yeah, well, the Slytherins were a bunch of slimy gits. I made it a point not to talk to them or notice them if I didn't have to."

Tracy nodded. "Our year was particularly vile. Sharing a dorm with the likes of Pansy Parkinson was a test of self-control and patience. It still surprises me that I didn't smother her with a pillow while she slept."

"You would have been awarded a medal, I think," Fred said.

"She tried to sell out Harry during the final battle," Ron muttered.

Tracy nodded. "There's nothing wrong with looking after yourself, but not to the point of alienating others. It's better to just stay neutral, or at least have the appearance of neutrality. Go with the flow, keep your mouth shut, and don't get involved if you don't have to. If you must get involved, always keep people guessing."

George looked to her. "Should I be worried about you?"

She smirked with amusement. "I don't know. Should you?"

George paused, and then smiled. "I'm better off not worrying, aren't I?"

"You'll definitely be happier in the long run if you don't," Tracy said.

Fred stood up, and held out a hand to help Hermione up. "We're going to head up to make sure Moonshine hasn't trashed my room. Not like there's much there to trash, but still."

His mother frowned. "No hanky-panky in there, understood?"

Fred frowned. "Mum, we're married!" he whined. At the look his mother gave him, he sighed. "Fine." As he and Hermione left the kitchen, he whispered to her, "We're not going to be staying here long."

Hermione chuckled. "Somehow, I didn't think so."

--- --- ---

_To my successor,_

_If you're reading this, that means I'm dead. Probably at your hands. Maybe at the Underworld's. Either way, I hope that I won't end up being taken to the Underworld once I die._

_You're probably confused as to why I would seek you out. I have no doubt that you were given some bullshit story about me from the Underworld. The truth is, I wanted you to see things aren't as simple as they first appear. I was used by the Underworld, just as you're being used by the Underworld. But unlike you, I was prepared to fight even though I knew the truth._

_Demons are used by the Underworld just as we are. Some higher-ups in the Underworld would capture low-level demons, brainwash them, and send them back into the human realm with instructions to harm humans. __And then they would send detectives like us to deal with the demons, as well as any other demon that annoyed the Underworld in some way. Sometimes a demon might do nothing more than commit a petty crime like shoplifting, and we'd be sent after them._

_It gets worse. __A lot of the demons we capture aren't even sent to any prison in the Underworld once transported there. They're taken straight to an execution chamber. I doubt that your assistant knows the truth about that. It's something my assistant Felicia didn't know until she saw it for herself. I think Koenma suspects what's going on, but doesn't have the power to do anything about it currently.__ I think he's tried to save some demons from execution, but don't count on someone else to save those that you believe should be saved._

_His father, King Enma, is the one responsible for this vendetta against demons. I'm not sure why he wants demons exterminated, except maybe as viewing them as a threat to his power. The human realm would be easy to get under his control if demons weren't in the way. Don't let the term fool you. Demons aren't inherently evil. They're wild and animalistic. Chaotic. I suppose that when you're trying to keep a world under strict order, chaos just won't do. __Maybe it doesn't really matter why._

_For every one human killed by a demon in cold blood, a thousand humans die by human hands. Demons aren't the threat against humanity that the Underworld would have you believe. Humans are the greatest threat to themselves. If left alone, most demons would happily live and coexist amongst humans. Most instances of demons killing humans have been as a result of them being manipulated into doing so, or by the request of some human. Why get your hands dirty and your conscience stained when you can get someone else to do it? __Still, I would kill demons knowing that I was the villain. I wanted to be the last Underworld detective, because I knew the truth. I could be the villain, and willfully engage in what amounted to genocide against an entire race. I could do the bare minimum, waiting for the day when things would change. __I __believe that someday Koenma will stage a coup against his father, but until then I would continue to dirty my hands with the blood of innocents. Someone has to do it, and it's better that it be someone who knows the truth._

_I don't know if you're capable of doing what has to be done. That's why I went after you. I had to make sure that you were capable of carrying on the mission. If you couldn't fight a human vilified as some sort of psychopath, how could you possibly fight a demon you might feel sympathetic towards__? __Knowing that every demon you capture likely faces death, and that many of them are innocent of what they're accused of, can you continue working for the Underworld? If you don't, the Underworld will find someone else to take your place. And the Underworld won't tell them anything about what's really going on._

_Don't let anyone take your place. Play the villain because you'll have to, but don't forget who you really are in the process. If you have a successor of your own someday, choose them yourself and let them know why they're fighting. They're not fighting to protect humans from demons. They're fighting to prevent an entire race from being wiped out through blind ignorance. If a handful of lives have to be sacrificed to save thousands, be prepared to make that sacrifice. Ours is a disgusting job, but who else is there who can do it?_

_When I die, I hope I'll be reincarnated as a demon. I doubt that will happen, but it would be cool. Maybe we'd face one another again someday. I'm sure I'd kick your ass._

_Catch you on the flip side,_

_Mimi_

--- --- ---

Fred blinked at the dragon curled up on his bed snoring. Granted, it was a very small dragon in comparison to most -- about the size of a human, from what he could tell -- but it was still a dragon. It had light golden scales, and a dark orange ridge that ran down its back. Since Moonshine was nowhere to be found, and spirit beasts were supposedly different from normal animals, he was going to take a wild guess and presume that the dragon _was _Moonshine.

"You better not break my bed," he said, sitting down on George's bed.

"Where did that thing come from?" Hermione asked as she sat down next to him.

"I'm guessing that's Moonshine," Fred said, rubbing his temples. "I'd say this has been a rather eventful day."

Hermione nodded. "It's been a rather eventful summer."

Fred smiled and turned to her. "Let's go on a cruise somewhere. You don't get seasick, do you?"

"I don't, but--"

"I also noticed your morning sickness is getting a lot better," Fred said. "Besides, we're both overdue for a vacation. George can handle getting the shop re-opened. He may be pants with numbers, but he's always been better with the details of contracts and stuff. He'll probably get Tracy to help him. I know she's got an eye for details and double-speak. So long as they can keep their hands off one another--"

"Fred," Hermione interrupted, chuckling. "I think going on a cruise sounds like a lovely idea, but where would we go?"

"Who cares?" Fred countered, smiling. "We might not have this chance again, so why not go now? We never did get to go on a honeymoon, anyway."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "What does that letter you received say, anyway?"

Fred shrugged, taking out the envelope Karin had handed to him from Mimi. "Who knows?" he said as he took the letter out of the envelope. He hoped that it would serve as some sort of explanation for her actions, as he wasn't quite satisfied with Koenma's theory. Unfolding it, he began to read the letter.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked as Fred frowned deeply.

He shook his head and handed her the letter once he finished reading it. He hated being manipulated, and if the accusations in Mimi's letter were true, that meant he'd been severely manipulated. He hadn't liked the way he was manipulated into become an Underworld detective, but this just took things to a new level.

Fred stood up and walked over to the window. "I wonder if there's any way to verify any of that."

"I received a copy of my own," Karin said as she appeared in the middle of the room. She wore a grave look on her face, and held a rolled up parchment in one hand. "I spoke with Mimi's former assistant Felicia, and then checked the booking records for the demons arrested."

Fred turned to her. "It's true, isn't it?"

Karin nodded. "In the last ten years, very few demons were actually sent to the Underworld's prison. Most were sentenced to death upon arrival."

Hermione looked up at the ferry girl. "Does that mean the demons Fred arrested--?"

"It's best not to think about it," Karin interrupted. She walked over to Fred, handing him the scroll. "This is your contract with the Underworld. It states the specific conditions for your term as their detective. If it is destroyed, that would free you from your debt."

Fred stared at the scroll in his hand. "If I quit, someone else will be found to take my place."

Karin nodded. "Correct."

"They wouldn't be told about any of this," Fred said. At Karin's silence, he sighed heavily. "You do realize how sickening this is, right?"

Karin nodded. "Lord Koenma's trying to build a case. Until then, he has to follow his father's rules, as do the rest of us."

Fred looked up at her. "I get to choose my assignments. And not something like having to choose between one or the other. Every assignment is optional. I get a complete and objective report on all the details on what the target has done, what they're after, and why they're considered to be a threat." He glanced to the scroll in his hand and then handed it back to Karin. "You've broken a lot of the Underworld's rules already, haven't you?"

Karin shifted from one foot to the other. "You're a bad influence."

Fred smiled. "I try."

Karin held out her hand, summoning her oar. "The day might come when Lord Koenma wrests control of the Underworld from King Enma. Until then--"

"I'll stay on duty," Fred said. "And when the time comes, I'll choose my own successor."

Karin smiled. "I'll let you know if you're needed." She mounted her oar and vanished.

Fred sighed and sat back down next to Hermione on the bed. "It's been a rather eventful summer, hasn't it?"

She looked over to him. "You're still going to work as an Underworld detective?"

He nodded. "At my own discretion. The way I figure, if I don't do anything, someone else will just be chosen to take my spot, and they won't be told anything, either. By working for them under my terms, I can maintain some semblance of control." He smiled. "Besides, with the whole 'reincarnation of a demon' thing, it's better to stay in contact with the Underworld. The last thing I want is for a successor to go after me because I'm deemed a threat." He placed an arm around Hermione. "I should ask Tracy or Ryou to show me the more demonic side of London sometime."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "If you insist on going out on dangerous assignments, don't expect me to just sit at home and wait for you to come back in a bloodied heap."

Fred chuckled, placing a hand on her lower abdomen. He didn't want to dwell on such a depressing topic, and felt that they were lone overdue for a subject change. "So how're Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan doing today?"

"We are not naming our children after alcoholic beverages," Hermione said, smiling slightly.

"They're perfectly good names," Fred said. "Lots of kids are named Jack and Morgan."

She rolled her eyes. "Not ours. And I _will _be going on the potion once they're born."

Fred laughed. "Did I ever tell you about the dream George had?" he asked, lazily tracing his thumb over the small bump on her stomach. "Aside from him and Tracy having a brood of kids, he implied that we had more kids than just these two. I told him it was probably just wishful thinking on his part, since he was acting like a prat about Tracy… But maybe I should trust his ability to predict things a bit better. He did say that you would marry one of us Weasley boys, after all."

Hermione smiled. "Yes, but I was the one who predicted that I would be carrying your love child."

"So you did violate my body while I was dead," Fred teased.

"Many times," she deadpanned. "You just thought you claimed my virginity on our first date because there's a charm."

Fred raised an eyebrow. "Is there now?" he asked with amusement in his voice.

Hermione nodded, smiling slightly. "Tracy told me about it."

"Now I don't believe you," Fred chuckled.

"And why's that?" she asked.

"Because something like that has several kinky possibilities, so you know she would probably use it with George," Fred replied. "Particularly since she's a masochist."

Hermione laughed. "Yes, but keep in mind that she can't use magic any longer. And how do you know she hasn't asked him to cast it? Magic can affect her if she lets it."

Fred was silent for a few seconds. "Are you trying to imply that we should come up with an adult line that has a product to restore a woman's virginity?"

"'For the woman who doesn't say no, so her current doesn't have to know'," Hermione said.

Fred laughed. "That's just bad. An interesting idea, and one we might end up using if we do come up with an adult line. Maybe we'll have it in the form of a mint. Re-Fresh Mints, or something like that."

Hermione chuckled. "Well, the wizarding community is strangely devoid of the adult industry. Aside from Charlie's strippers."

"Don't forget dirty magazines," Fred said sagely. "George and I did pose for _Playwitch _magazine, after all. That's how we got the money for the shop."

"What issue?" Hermione asked, smirking.

Fred paused. "Er… July… 1996..." he lied, trying to come up with a date that would have been plausible for him and George to have made a lot of money from to start their joke shop.

Hermione smiled dreamily. "Ah, yes. The special 'We salute the men in and out of uniform' issue. I never knew the wizarding world had the equivalent of firemen. I don't recall seeing you in that issue, though. Not to mention your shop was already open by then. And I'm fully aware that Harry gave you the money to start your shop."

Fred paused. "How do you know what the contents of that issue are?"

Hermione shrugged. "I've been a subscriber since my fourth year in school. Important research, you know."

Fred gave her a strange look. "I'm not going to ask what had you researching porn."

"I was researching human anatomy. The hot naked men were just a bonus," Hermione deadpanned.

Fred laughed as he held her in his arms.

Life was full of twists and obstacles of all kinds. For Fred Weasley, age 20, he had gone through several of those twists and obstacles in a short period of time. Reckless and impulsive, he was a self-proclaimed troublemaker holding little regard for any rules or boundaries. Somehow, though, throughout the second chance that life gave him, he was able to learn that sometimes one just had to roll with the punches and deal with life. He had no idea what the future might hold in store for him, but would deal with it when it came. For the most part, the future was whatever he decided to make of it.


	26. 26 Life After

**Chapter 26**: Life After  
[_September 4, 2010_]

--- --- ---

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Let me just start by saying that whatever Professor McGoogles says is a filthy lie. The fire was not my fault, and Chloe and I were not playing with fireworks during the sorting feast._

_That said, I'm in Gryffindor. So's cousins Chloe and Victoire. During the sorting, I could hear Kyle pleading to be put anywhere but Gryffindor, because he couldn't stand to be in the same House as me and Chloe for seven years. The Sorting Hat must have a cruel streak or something, because it placed him in Gryffindor anyway. He was being a drama queen, sobbing until dinner was served. You guys can tell me if he's adopted, I won't tell. I know you keep insisting that he's my brother and I shouldn't be so mean to him, but he needs to learn to take a joke. The itching powder in his underwear was FUNNY. We're going to try to loosen him up by shrinking his clothes a little bit each day.__ How do you do a shrinking charm like that, anyway? __Until then, I suppose I'll just have to settle by waking him up by placing snakes in his bed. Chloe says that the Slytherin common room has a tank full of snakes. She conned some Slytherin firstie named Logan Montague into giving her the password by flashing her knickers at him and letting him touch her butt__. She can be weird sometimes._

_Please tell Grandmum to send us lots of cookies and cakes, because they don't feed us here. They lock us in cages they call 'dorms', and march us down the halls to execution chambers where they try to make us learn stuff. Chloe and I have a bet going on to see how long it takes to get a completely new staff. We think the Transfiguration professor had a minor mental breakdown when he realized he'd have to teach us in the same class. I don't think that it helped that we got bored after Transfiguring our feathers into needles and decided to start a sword fight with our wands. I don't see what the big deal was. Just because we might have made a few sparks fly and might have caused one of the other kids to sprout tentacles does not deserve a detention. Didn't Professor McGoogles used to teach Transfiguration? I'm sure she would have allowed it._

_Mum, you can stop reading this now. Dad, make sure mum's not reading this. She's gone now, right? It's like this, dad. A lot of the secret passageways to Hogsmeade you told me about are closed off now. Chloe and me explored the castle a bit during Potions. We thought exploring was more important. Aside from getting another week of detention, we found that none of the passageways worked. Don't worry, though, we'll make a new one. We're demolition experts. __Tell mum she can start reading again._

_I think it's stupid that first years can't be on the Quidditch team. Uncle Harry was a first year when he got on the team. I haven't seen our team play, but I know they suck. They'd be so much better with us on the team. That's all right, though. I'm starting my own team. We're holding tryouts in the Great Hall during lunch tomorrow._

_I suppose I should probably go to bed now. It's close to midnight, and some snotty prefect is telling me that first years shouldn't be roaming the halls at night. It's not my fault that I can't do everything I want to during daylight hours. Between classes and the month's worth of detention I've got, I have very little 'me' time._

_Oh yeah, our House is currently in the negative points. But that's Kyle's fault for telling a professor that Chloe and me were the ones to turn the dungeons into a jungle. And despite what he thinks, I don't think that earning a month's worth of detentions during the first two days of school sets a new record at Hogwarts. I'm sure that dad and Uncle George earned twice as much on their first two days, right?_

_Is there a limit to the number of detentions one can get before they're expelled?_

_Love,_

_Jessica_

--- --- ---

Hermione rubbed her temples as she set down the letter that had just arrived with the morning post. "You know she takes after you, right?"

Fred raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "We were never _that _bad. True, we could be rather nasty towards Percy at times, but not like that. I'll talk to her about bullying her brother later. And George and I certainly never flashed our underwear at anyone during our first year." He paused, making a pensive face. "I wonder if George should be worried about his daughter flashing her underwear at boys…" He shrugged it off as George's problem. "In any case, I hope for her sake that Jess has a lot more planned, because if she throws everything out the first two days--"

"Fred!" Hermione frowned. "Do not encourage her behavior! At this rate, she'll be expelled!"

"I want to go to Hogwarts," their seven-year-old daughter Emma said as she picked at her eggs. "I don't want to wait four more years. If Jess gets expelled, can I go?"

Hermione sighed. "We've gone over this before. You have to wait until you're eleven. And eat your eggs."

"Icky!" their three-year-old son Brandon said as he tossed a bit of his eggs off his plate.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to throw food at the table?" Hermione scolded. "If you don't like what you're served, you politely say 'no, thank you', not 'icky'."

Fred tried to put some eggs on his fork. He noticed that his scrambled eggs looked partially burnt and slightly runny. He set his fork down. "I've told you before, 'Mione. You can't cook eggs."

"Icky!" Brandon repeated.

Fred chuckled and stood up. "Why don't I fix something up real quick?"

"Does that mean I can stop pretending to like mum's cooking?" Emma asked, brightening up a bit.

Hermione frowned. "You guys are horrible. Besides, we're leaving to go to Caitlin's second birthday party in an hour, so there isn't time to fix something else."

But Fred had already fixed up a few omelettes before she was done talking. That was one of the benefits of cooking with magic. Hermione preferred to do things the old-fashioned Muggle way, but Fred had perfected the art of magical cooking in fifteen seconds or less. There were times when Hermione had a break from her job at the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures that she wanted to try to be domestic and cook, even though Fred was much better at it. Unfortunately, this was one of those mornings.

"One omelette with chunks of peanut butter and M&Ms," he said, placing an omelette on his youngest child's plate, "and one with anchovies." He placed another omelette on Emma's plate. He knew what his children liked, even if he thought their tastes in food were a bit odd. He turned to Hermione. "Do you want an omelette?"

Hermione scowled. "There is nothing wrong with my cooking, Fred."

Fred raised an eyebrow and took his plate of eggs over to Moonshine, who was sitting in a corner of the kitchen. His spirit beast was in its 'flying cat' form once more, for which Fred was grateful. A dragon was far too conspicuous to have lingering about the house.

Before Jessica and Kyle were born, they had purchased the house that Tracy and Janice used to live in after George and Tracy got a bigger house. Fred had been skeptical over their need for a bigger house at first, but George told him that they would need one. Looking back, Fred had to agree. George and Tracy already had seven kids, and Tracy was pregnant and due to deliver at any time. Granted, three of their seven kids were triplets, but that was still a lot of kids. Fred once overheard her saying something to George that sounded like she planned to get her 'tubes tied', but wasn't sure what that meant and didn't think to ask.

Moonshine glanced to the plate of burnt and runny eggs that Fred brought it, sniffed it tentatively, and then promptly turned its nose away from it. Fred shot Hermione an amused look.

"Fine!" Hermione growled. "I'll leave the cooking to you."

"Thank Merlin," Emma mumbled. At the look Hermione gave her, she smiled weakly, "No offense, mum, but leave the cooking to dad. Moonshine will eat his own vomit. I've seen him do it once."

"Icky eggs go to hell," Brandon said in agreement as he grabbed a handful of omelette and shoved it into his mouth.

Hermione turned to her three-year-old in shock. "Where did you learn such language?!"

"Uncle Won," he said innocently.

Hermione frowned. "Yes, well, I'll be having a talk with Ron later."

Fred chuckled as he made a couple more omelettes. He knew Hermione would want one as soon as she tried to eat her own cooking.

--- --- ---

George and Tracy's house was usually chaotic, no matter what time of the day it was. Fred was somewhat relieved that his oldest children and George's oldest daughter were off at Hogwarts. Fred doubted that he and George had been as troublesome as Jessica and Chloe were when they were together. His son Kyle was often a target of Jessica and Chloe's mischief, as was George's nine-year-old daughter Paige. He felt a bit bad for George, as his triplet sons -- who were turning five in October -- weren't much better than Jessica and Chloe were. But at least they weren't as brutal as the girls could be.

As chaotic as George's house was, it was a tiny bit quieter than usual, probably because Jessica and Chloe weren't trying to find something to blow up. It was by no means quiet, though. No sooner had Fred and his family arrived on the doorstep than the door opened.

"Ahoy me matey!" one of the triplets said, grinning as he held open the door.

"We've got a flock of landlubbers here!" another of the triplets chimed in, his mouth covered in chocolate.

"Shall we keelhaul them, or make them walk the plank?" the third triplet chimed in, causing the first two to turn to him.

"What does 'keelhaul' mean?" the triplet holding the door asked.

The third one shrugged. "I don't know, but it sounds neat."

"Arr," the chocolate covered triplet agreed.

Fred chuckled. "Hello there, Adam, Luke, and Dylan. I don't think you're supposed to be answering the door before people even knock."

"Avast! We're off to find a ship!" the chocolate covered triplet said.

Fred chuckled, trying to quickly figure out which triplet was which. He was pretty sure that the one holding the door was Adam, who usually served as their 'leader', and the one in chocolate was Dylan, who was slightly pudgier than the other two. That meant that the third one was Luke, as he usually let the others lead him, and would often use words or terms that he didn't understand and confused his brothers.

"Where do you think you're going to find a ship?" Emma asked.

By the door, Adam gave her a strange look. "At the docks. Arr!"

"Arr!" chimed in the other two.

"Boys! What did I tell you about staying inside or in the backyard?" Tracy said as she entered the foyer.

"We're pirates, not boys. Arr!" Dylan said.

"We need a proper sea-faring vessel," Luke said solemnly, nodding.

Tracy rolled her eyes. "Maybe your dad has a pirate ship for you in the backyard."

"Arr!" the boys said as they raced away from the front door and ran through the living room to the door leading to the back of the house.

Tracy sighed and turned to Fred and Hermione. "For your sakes, don't have any more kids," she said, rubbing her swollen belly and letting them inside.

"I know it's none of my business, but why do let George keep getting you pregnant?" Hermione asked as they followed Tracy into the living room. The house was surprisingly empty so far, but that was because most everyone was gathered in the backyard, setting up decorations or playing with the kids. After promising to behave themselves, Emma and Brandon went towards the door leading to the fenced backyard to join the other kids.

"Spirit energy only works until the first child is born," Tracy said as she sat down. "We learned that the hard way with Paige. Jack was actually planned, as George wanted a son. The triplets were proof that the potion has no effect on me, Caitlin proof that the Muggle birth control pill has no effect on me, and this one is proof that taking both the potion and the pill at the same time doesn't work, either."

Fred quirked an eyebrow. He knew that Tracy had been a demon in a past life, but he thought that she chose to remain human. There was no reason why such preventative measures would fail when her body was mostly human.

Hermione winced. "What will you do after this one is born? When are you due, anyway?"

"A couple of days ago," Tracy said. "The Healer's going to induce labor on Monday if I don't go into labor before then. I told George that if he ever wants to have sex with me again, I want to make certain that I won't get pregnant again. I'll probably get my tubes tied. He's not too keen on the idea of a vasectomy."

Fred tilted his head. "You mentioned getting your 'tubes tied' before. What does that mean?"

"It's a surgical procedure that permanently sterilizes a female," Tracy explained. "A vasectomy permanently sterilizes a male. He doesn't want either of us to undergo such drastic measures, but he's such a horny bastard that one of us has to. I haven't even found out whether we're having a boy or girl because I don't want to know how many children I might be carrying now. I'm just as big as I was when I was carrying the triplets, and I don't want to go through that again. If there is any god or goddess above, I pray that it's only one child I'm carrying." She took in a sharp breath and rubbed her belly. "Never again."

"You're not having contractions, are you?" Hermione asked.

Tracy nodded. "They're probably just Braxton-Hicks contractions. I'll be fine. Ginny's keeping an eye on things." Ginny had become a Healer after finishing Hogwarts and going through a grueling training regimen. "She's helping Molly in the kitchen, and Harry's out back helping with the decorations and watching the kids."

"Who else is here?" Fred asked.

Tracy started counting on her fingers. "Well, obviously Harry, Ginny, and their kids are here, as are your parents. Arthur's outside with the kids. I think Paige is showing him her PSP. Bill and Fleur are here with their kids. Charlie is setting up in the backyard, and Percy has his kids for the weekend, so they're here too."

Fred nodded. "I'm surprised his shrew of an ex let him take them here. She hates our family."

Hermione shot him a look. "Fred, that's rude."

"What?" He turned to her. "It's true. You remember the way she was trying to isolate him from the rest of us. That's one of the many reasons why he divorced her."

Hermione sighed and turned to Tracy. "Is any help needed in the kitchen?"

Tracy paused and shook her head. Fred had warned her about Hermione's cooking skills, or lack thereof. While Hermione could occasionally cook food that was edible, that did not mean she was any good at it. "I think they have a handle on things in there," Tracy said. "I'm sure they'd appreciate the help in the backyard, though. George already came in covered with syrup and feathers before heading back out. I'm also pretty sure I heard Jack making monkey noises earlier, as well."

Fred chuckled. "Did he get into the Circus Cookies?"

Tracy nodded. "George was passing them around earlier."

Fred glanced to Hermione. "Shall we head back there and make sure that nobody's breathing fire?"

"That might be a good idea," Hermione said, standing up. "It sounds like a zoo out there."

"A circus, actually," Tracy said. "Somebody Transfigured Harry's clothes into a clown costume early on and gave him rainbow colored hair." The doorbell rang, and she slowly stood up. "Coming!" she called, waddling towards the door.

Fred shot his sister-in-law a sympathetic look before heading to the backyard with Hermione. Even though the house was rather large, the party was being held outside due to the sheer amount of people that would be present.

The backyard was utter pandemonium. Some of the older kids were enjoying turning into different types of animals and making loud animal noises. Harry and Percy were chasing around some of the younger kids, trying to herd them into the same general area of the backyard to make sure everyone was there. Bill and Charlie were trying to set up decorations while being decorated themselves by two of the triplets, who had somehow gotten hold of rolls of streamers and were running circles around their uncles. George was sitting at one of the picnic tables with the remaining triplet and his youngest daughter, looking thoroughly exhausted and having feathers stuck in his hair.

It wasn't the least bit surprising to see George looking exhausted these days. In addition to having seven kids, George managed the Hogsmeade branch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. They had half a dozen locations throughout the world, like the Diagon Alley branch that Fred managed. There were also shops located in Dublin, Paris, New York, and a small one in the MagiMall of Portland, Oregon.

"You do not bite your brother!" George was chiding his two-year-old daughter Caitlin as his son howled and cried.

"Is mine!" Caitlin said in protest, trying to grab a pirate hat on her brother's head.

George transfigured a napkin into a slightly smaller, identical pirate hat that he handed to her. "No, this can be yours," he said, handing her the hat.

Caitlin shook her head. "Is mine!" she yelled, still reaching for her brother's hat.

George sighed. "Do you want to go upstairs and miss your own party?"

Caitlin shook her head emphatically. "No!"

"Then apologize to your brother and behave," George said sternly. "There is no biting allowed. It hurts, and I don't think you'd like it if someone were to bite you."

Caitlin pouted, glaring at her brother as best as a two-year-old could. "Sowwy." She turned to George. "Pway?" She pointed towards the group of younger children who had decided to form a dog pile on top of Harry.

George nodded wearily. "Yes, go play." He looked over to Fred and Hermione as his daughter ran off to join the other kids. "I wonder if there's any chance that Tracy's having a gas bubble instead of a kid."

Fred chuckled. "Having second thoughts?"

George smiled as he examined his son's arm. "Not really. I love my kids, and there's something incredibly sexy about seeing her pregnant with my child."

"You said a bad word!" his son admonished him as he suddenly stopped crying. "I'm telling mum!"

George rolled his eyes. "Your arm's fine, Adam. I can't even see where she bit you. Now why don't you go play with your brothers?"

"Aye aye, captain!" Adam beamed as he ran off to join his brothers in wrapping Bill and Charlie up in streamers.

"Yet only a couple of them were planned," Fred said, smirking.

George rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Er…"

Hermione glanced between them. "Am I missing something?"

Fred chuckled. "Using spirit energy can work both ways, can't it, George? It can be used to prevent pregnancy… or it can be used to _cause _it. Am I right?"

George looked away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, perhaps a bit too quickly.

Hermione frowned. "Honestly, George! If you're deliberately getting her pregnant without telling her that's what you're doing--"

"Oi! George!" Janice called to him as she approached. It looked like there were globs of purple slime stuck in her hair. She pulled a glob out of her hair and handed it to George. "Long time no see. I noticed you knocked my sister up again."

George looked at his hand. "What is this?"

"Entrails of a muscari demon," she said, smiling as George made a disgusted face and tried to fling the slime off his hand. "Nasty buggers." She glanced behind her toward the door. "Are you coming or what?"

Fred raised an eyebrow as Ryou stood by the doorway, refusing to budge. The ice demon still hadn't found a cure for the curse on him, but not for lack of trying. Fred had done research into the curse, discovering that while it did require the use of magic, it also required the use of several elements from the demon plane, some of which were extinct. After a number of attempts to devise a cure that all ended in failure, Ryou told him not to waste his time any longer. That didn't mean that Fred wasn't still trying in his spare time, though.

Hermione turned to Fred. "I'm going to see if they need any help over there," she said, gesturing to where some of the kids were using Harry as a trampoline while Percy was being used as a tree of sorts.

Fred laughed. "For someone who faced countless people trying to kill him, Harry sure is having a lot of problems with a few toddlers, isn't he?"

Janice chuckled as she cast a cleaning charm on herself. Most of the purple slime vanished. "That's where most bad guys fail. Don't recruit adults to become your unholy army. Recruit a bunch of toddlers."

George nodded. "Isn't that what that one ulare demon did?"

"No, those were just midgets," Janice replied. She glanced back to Ryou. "Get over here!"

Ryou shook his head. "I'm fine where I am."

Janice sighed and stood up. "Stubborn…" she muttered as she walked over to him.

Fred chuckled. "I'm going to mingle and see how everyone's doing."

Fred approached Bill and Charlie, who were now looking like mummies wrapped up in streamers. "I'll bet you're glad your kids are well behaved," he said to Bill, smirking as the triplets laughed and went off to find more adults to torment. He took mercy on his older brothers and waved his wand to let the streamers loosen so they could step out of them.

Bill chuckled. "Last I checked, Louis was trying to use Harry as a trampoline," he said. Sure enough, his young son was bouncing on top of a green looking Harry's stomach. "And I just got the oddest owl this morning about Victoire having earned herself a week of detention for taking part of an impromptu Quidditch match in the Great Hall yesterday."

Fred snickered. "Yeah, Jess wrote to me about that. I thought Victoire hated Quidditch."

"So did I," Bill said, shrugging. He turned to Charlie. "I guess you're lucky not to have any kids, huh?"

Charlie nodded. "None that I know of, at least." He had moved closer to the family after transferring to a dragon reserve located in Wales. He never had settled down with anyone, which was often a point of contention between him and his mother. Charlie insisted that he was happy celebrating the life of bachelordom, and that everyone else had plenty of kids to go around, so it wasn't as if he needed to contribute to the next generation of Weasleys.

Charlie glanced toward the back door, where Janice was trying to drag Ryou out to socialize. "Who's the pretty brunette over there?"

Fred glanced in their direction. "Er, that's Tracy's kid sister."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "That's Janice?" he asked in disbelief as he gave her an appreciative look. "She's grown up quite nicely. How old is she now?"

Fred's eye twitched. "Too young for you," he said.

"I'm not _that _old," Charlie protested. "She is legal, right?"

Fred refused to dignify that with an answer, turning from them to walk away as Bill laughed and said something to Charlie. Even though Janice was a 'legal' twenty-three year old woman, over the years Fred had grown a bit protective of her, like an older brother would. He had helped train her to fight demons when she became his successor as the Underworld detective. Fred had settled into a life of semi-retirement from fighting demons, but would occasionally go on assignments with her and her 'partner' Ryou if the need arose.

The Underworld had gone through a change of leadership since Fred was first recruited as an Underworld detective. Koenma had built a case against King Enma's crimes against demons, wresting control of the Underworld from him. There were still demons out there needing to be dealt with by an Underworld detective, which was why Janice was out there fighting. There was an actual prison in place for demons who simply needed to be arrested, but many of the demons Janice dealt with were hostile. Then again, she travelled far more broadly than Fred and George had during their time as detectives. She'd recently come back from a mission in Peru, for instance.

Even though he knew she was an adult, Fred still thought of Janice as a child in many ways. He remembered how excited she was to become a witch and get her Hogwarts letter when she was eleven, and how she had initially been resentful of George for taking up so much of her sister's attention. He remembered how there had been times when she stayed with him and Hermione, like the time between her first and second year when she 'ran away' for a few nights after she accidentally set off some fireworks inside George and Tracy's house. She was afraid that they'd be angry at her because it caused a small fire on the living room couch, and they had just gotten Chloe to fall asleep. There were other times when she would go to him and Hermione to confide in them about things she was afraid George or Tracy might not understand.

So Fred would refuse to dignify Charlie's question with an answer on whether Janice was of legal age or not. As strong as Janice might seem at times, Fred still saw her as that insecure little girl. He wouldn't stand in their way, as they were both adults, but he wouldn't help Charlie in any way.

Ron had arrived at some point of time, so Fred went over to see how his little brother was doing. After being a reserve for several years, Ron had realized his dream and played keeper for the Chudley Cannons. Whether his addition helped the team or not was up to debate, but they had won a game during the most recent season, which was one more victory than they could claim from the previous season. That victory didn't necessarily reflect upon Ron's skills, though, as the Snitch had flown down the front of their seeker's robes early on in the game when they'd been knocked off their broom by a Bludger.

"How're things going there?" Fred greeted. He glanced around. "Where's the missus?"

Fred thought that Ron's wife was rather obnoxious and far too fond of ultimatums, although Fred tried to act neutral to prevent unnecessary strife. He wasn't quite sure just why Ron had married her, but suspected that there had been some deception involved. She was constantly whining to Ron that she wanted to have a child, and if he didn't want to give her one then they might as well get divorced so she could find someone who would. As far as Fred knew, neither had happened yet. He just hoped that if his baby brother did finally cave in to her ultimatum, that Ron would choose the route of divorce rather than having a child to save a floundering relationship.

Ron shook his head. "She said she had work. I'm rather glad she's not here, though. She's really been getting on my nerves lately. I'll be glad when the new season starts and I'm on the road again," he said. "I see Hermione's got her hands full there," he said, gesturing to where Hermione was trying to get some of the kids to stop jumping on Harry, who was looking rather ill.

Fred chuckled. "I think she wants to talk to you about teaching Brandon to say her cooking can go to hell."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I told him never to insult her cooking, no matter how bad it is. It's a matter of self-preservation."

Fred laughed. "I think it was the whole 'go to hell' part that got to her."

Ron shrugged. "I'll talk to her when I'm in the mood to be lectured for half an hour." He gestured to George, who was trying to get somebody's wand from his son Jack, who was conspiring with Harry's oldest son to no doubt cause mischief. "I'm going to say hi and help him out."

Fred nodded. He figured that he might as well help Hermione with Harry and Percy. The triplets were doing their best to distract Hermione while Caitlin and Brandon were trying to see which of them could make Harry vomit first. Even Harry's two-year-old daughter Lily seemed to be enjoying the game. Bill's son Louis had wandered off to join his older sister Dominique in a game of 'annoy Ryou' by the door. Percy's daughters Molly and Lucy and Harry's youngest son Albus were climbing Percy like a tree.

Percy was the reason why Fred hoped that Ron opted to go the route of divorce rather than having a child if he absolutely _had _to do one or the other. Percy was living proof of why having a child could not save a failing relationship. His ex-wife was a manipulative and controlling individual and for a brief period of time, Percy had been convinced that having kids would help 'change' her and mellow her out. It didn't. Percy was still recovering after going through a nasty divorce and countless custody hearings that were still ongoing.

"A little help here?" Percy asked as Fred approached. There was no doubt that the largest gathering of kids was gathered here.

Fred chuckled, helping to pry off the kids who decided to climb up on Percy, whose wand had been confiscated by Jack and Harry's oldest son James. Together, they got the younger kids to stop using Harry as a trampoline. No sooner had they done so than Harry made use of a bucket quickly conjured up in case of the need to vomit. Fred could not blame George at all for wanting Caitlin's birthday party to take place after their oldest kids were off at Hogwarts.

--- --- ---

Nobody was the least bit surprised that a food fight broke out amongst the kids once the food was brought out, nor was anyone surprised by the occasional fights and tantrums amongst the children. Midway through the cake and ice cream being served, Tracy realized that she was in full labor, and Ginny helped her back inside, thinking that there probably wasn't enough time to head to a hospital or St. Mungo's. The time it took to admit a patient was simply atrocious, and Ginny was a certified midwife.

Fred tried to explain to Caitlin that sharing a birthday with a brother or sister was nothing to get mad about, but the two-year-old still held a tantrum thinking that 'her' day would become less special somehow. Having dealt with his temperamental young niece many times before, Fred knew that it was better to let her wear herself down and then set her down for a nap. She was probably over stimulated from the sheer amount of people present. Including her, there were fifteen children present, and somewhere around the same number of adults.

The party pretty much broke up at that point. George went inside to be with Tracy as she went into labor, while the other adults broke up to watch over the kids in smaller groups. Some of the older kids were fine with minimal adult supervision. George's daughter Paige was fine by herself, as she had her PSP to keep herself entertained, and Fred's daughter Emma had brought a book and was reading under the shade of a tree. Bill and Fleur's daughter Dominique was sitting on the porch sketching something that was no doubt morbid.

After Fred and Harry went inside to settle the littlest ones down for naps -- as Fred's son Brandon and Harry's daughter Lily were getting fussy as well -- they checked with George on what the status was. Tracy was definitely in an advanced stage of labor, but hadn't given birth yet.

"Not yet," Fred said as a number of pairs of eyes turned to him as he went back outside. He went over to Hermione, who was telling their nephew Jack why using spirit energy to shoot at squirrels was not appropriate. "I wonder if I should start a betting pool on whether Tracy has a boy or girl, and how many kids she has this time."

Hermione rolled her eyes as Jack took an offered Circus Cookie and began making elephant noises. "I don't think she'd appreciate it that much."

Fred shrugged as he sat down in the grass next to her. "You're looking tired there, love."

Hermione nodded. "I'm suddenly reminded of why I'm glad that Jessica and Kyle are currently at Hogwarts."

Fred chuckled. "I thought that this party seemed strangely devoid of explosions."

Hermione smiled. "Do you want any more kids, Fred?"

He glanced to her. "I'm pretty happy with the ones we have right now. You haven't agreed to take any of them home with us, have you? I know that George was offering to let anyone who wanted one of his kids take them home for a night or two hundred."

Hermione laughed and shook her head. "They're welcome to stay for a night or _two_, but I haven't agreed to anything of the sort. I'm pregnant, Fred."

Fred blinked. "Bloody hell," he muttered, trying to process the information. "You're certain?"

Hermione nodded. "Pretty much. I haven't confirmed it with a Healer yet, but the home pregnancy tests now are pretty accurate."

Fred moved closer to her and placed an arm around her. They hadn't planned to have any more children, but they hadn't really taken any precautions, aside from the occasional contraceptive charm cast when one of them remembered. He smiled at her. "Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

She rolled her eyes. "I haven't seen a Healer to even confirm it yet."

Fred waved her off. "We can always find out later. Do you know when you're due?"

"What part of 'I haven't seen a Healer yet' are you not quite getting?" Hermione asked.

Jack, who had gotten bored with making elephant noises and tormenting squirrels, turned to them. "So how does one get pregnant, anyway?" he asked, forcing Fred and Hermione to realize that they weren't alone. The seven-year-old continued. "I know that mum's pregnant, and dad had something to do with it, but how exactly?"

Fred and Hermione exchanged a look, neither one of them wanting to explain the facts of life to their young nephew. Fred had no idea what George and Tracy had told their kids, or when they planned to give them The Talk, but he did not want to be the one to do it.

Hermione cleared her throat. "Well, er, sometimes when two people…" She let her voice trail off.

Fred decided he'd try a different strategy. "Has your dad ever shown you any of his 'educational' videos?"

Jack shook his head. "Not really. I saw a few minutes of one when I snuck downstairs one night. There were lots of naked people in it doing gross things. Dad wasn't too happy when he found me watching it. Mum made him sleep on the couch that night for leaving it lying around, but it was really Chloe's fault. She and Jess nicked it out of dad's storage closet and were watching it and giggling over it."

Fred looked at him in alarm to hear that not only had Jessica been watching a porno, but she had been giggling over it. He would need to have a serious talk to George about leaving his videos around where his kids could find them. And in all fairness, Hermione would be the one to give Jessica The Talk, which would occur next time they saw her. He knew they should have done so before she left for Hogwarts, but Hermione had insisted on waiting until she was a bit older. He wondered if he could convince Hermione to give Kyle The Talk while she was at it.

Shaking his head, Fred answered, "Sometimes people like doing those gross things. I don't know why, because it is quite gross and you should really be asking your dad about this. But sometimes when people do gross things, one of them can get pregnant."

Jack nodded. "Oh." He made a face. "But mum and dad do gross things all the time. They did gross things last night after we were supposed to be sleeping. Either that or they were torturing one another. Does that mean one of them will be getting pregnant all the time?"

Fred refrained from making any comments about George and Tracy's sex life. There was so much he could say to Jack's question, and very little of it was appropriate for a seven-year-old to hear. Instead, he'd cop out on the question. "You'd have to ask your mum or dad about that one."

Mercifully, Jack changed the subject after that. Fred was grateful for his nephew's short attention span.

Half an hour or so later, Percy had to leave with his daughters after receiving a call from his solicitor about his ex-wife wanting to change part of the custody agreement. It seemed as though just when he thought it was over, something came up. Fred wished the best of luck to his brother, and offered his support.

A few minutes after Percy left, Fred glanced up as Ryou walked up to him, followed by George's nine-year-old daughter Paige. She had grown bored playing with her PSP so allowed her grandfather to play with it for a while.

"There's a midget following me," Ryou said. "Do something."

Fred chuckled. "She's not a midget, she's a child."

"You look just like the boss of the ice caves of Krenthol in the game I'm playing," Paige said to Ryou. "Do you carry around a sword twice your size that you hide in subspace when not in use?"

Ryou's eye twitched. "Do something about the midget."

Hermione sighed. "Paige? Would you care to join us in a game of 'let's see how large we can make that slug get before it explodes'?" she asked, referring to what Jack was currently wanting to do with a slug he had painstakingly searched for and delivered to Hermione to enlarge for him.

Paige made a face. "No, thank you." She turned back to Ryou. "Do you ever cosplay? I'm sure that you would make an excellent Sephiroth if you were to wear a wig."

Ryou's eye twitched again. "Can I encase the midget in ice to silence her?"

Paige's eyes widened. "You can do that? That is so cool!"

Fred chuckled. "I don't think George would appreciate you encasing any of his children in ice." He glanced around. "And I thought Janice was trying to get you to socialize. Why don't you have her rescue you?"

"I don't need 'rescuing'," Ryou said gruffly. "And she went off somewhere when you took the screaming midgets inside."

Fred shrugged and turned to Paige. "Why don't you stay here with us while Ryou acts like a grump somewhere else?"

Paige paused, and then nodded. "I suppose," she said, giving her younger brother a hesitant look as she sat down. "On the swamps of Deshor, there are slugs twice the size as one's character sprites."

Jack's eyes widened. "Really?" He turned to Hermione. "Make that slug bigger than me!"

Hermione rolled her eyes as Ryou wandered away to sulk in silence. "I don't think I can make it quite that large," she said, trying to humor him but obviously not wanting to enlarge slugs to ridiculous sizes in the backyard.

Fred chuckled and looked around. He could see that his father was busy playing Paige's PSP while his mother was trying to get him to stop and socialize with their grandchildren. Bill and Fleur were keeping their son Louis entertained by putting on some bizarre puppet show. Ron was playing with the triplets, acting like a pirate captain and leading them around the backyard shouting 'arr' at random intervals. Harry was trying to keep his boys from fighting over who destroyed a sand castle in the sandbox. Emma was still quietly reading, and Dominique still quietly sketching. Ryou sulked by the door that led to the house. All the kids were accounted for, but not all the adults seemed to be.

If just Janice was missing, he might not think anything of it. She could have gone inside to check on how her sister was doing, or might have been called off on some assignment. But glancing around, Fred noticed that his brother Charlie seemed to be missing as well. Fred made an annoyed sound, causing Hermione to turn to him.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

He shook his head. "Janice and Charlie aren't here," he said.

"So?" she asked.

He looked over to her. "He was ogling her before and asking if she was of legal age."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "That's… weird."

"Make the slug blow up!" Jack said as the slug grew to a size twice as round as a person's head, and long as a person's arm. "I want to see its guts!"

"No! I don't want to see any slug guts!" Paige protested.

Another half an hour passed. By that time, Paige had wandered off to reclaim her PSP, while Jack decided that he had become Captain Jack, who ran a rival pirate crew to the triplets. Fred followed him around the backyard as he attempted to recruit members to his crew that so far only consisted of Fred, who supposedly was in charge of 'swabbing the poop deck' and making sure the crew had enough rum and booty.

While Jack was trying to convince Harry's sons James and Albus the benefits of why they should join his crew and wage war on the 'yellow-bellied cowards that didn't even have a proper pirate flag', the back door opened. Fred glanced over there, wondering if Tracy had given birth already. It was just Charlie, though, who looked around sheepishly as many eyes turned to him.

Fred glanced to Harry. "Can you watch Jack for a moment?" he asked, getting up to approach his brother after Harry agreed.

He folded his arms and blocked Charlie's path as he tried to rejoin the group. "What were you thinking?" Fred asked, noticing that Charlie's shirt was wrinkled and inside out when it hadn't been before. His hair was disheveled, and he had the appearance and slightly musky odor to him of someone who just had sex. "She's a child."

Charlie tilted his head. "What are you talking about?"

"Janice," Fred said. "You went off with her somewhere, didn't you?"

"Were we that obvious?" Charlie asked, running a hand through his messy hair. "And she's not a child. She's a beautiful young woman."

Fred shot him an odd look. "She happens to be fifteen years younger than you. And she's your sister-in-law. You really don't see anything wrong with that?"

Charlie shrugged. "If she doesn't have a problem with that, neither do I. Now if you'll excuse me." He brushed past Fred to join Ron and the triplets' pirate crew as they conspired against 'Captain Jack' and his crew of 'scurvy seadogs'.

Fred shook his head. He really hoped for both of their sakes that things did not get awkward between them. He went back to rejoin the pirate crew Jack was trying to build, hoping to minimize the damage that the 'pirate war' would bring.

After another fifteen minutes had passed, the back door opened again. This time, George was the one who exited.

All eyes turned to him as he smiled. "For those who've bet on the number," George said, "there's only one child this time, for which Tracy and I are extremely grateful for."

"You owe me five galleons, Ron!" Bill shouted from across the yard.

George chuckled. "And for those who've bet on gender, anyone who'd bet on it being a boy have just won. Little Riley thanks you all for sticking around, and will take a few visitors at a time after he's done feeding." He went back inside the house, closing the door behind him.

Fred smiled and shook his head. He knew he should have started a betting pool. As Hermione placed her hand in his, he turned to her and smiled. "Would it be wrong to start a betting pool about our child if we already knew what we were having?"

Hermione glanced to him, and then laughed, shaking her head. "Some thing never change, do they?"

Some things never did.

--- --- ---

**End note**: Thus concludes the story of 'Fred Weasley, Underworld Detective'. Things aren't over just yet, as the story of 'Charlie Weasley, Demon Hunter' begins next chapter. Picking up right after where this chapter left off, it tells the story of Charlie and how his life changes forever when he involves himself with the wrong woman. Stay tuned!


	27. 01 The Beginning of a New Era

**Author's note**: This is the sequel to Fred Weasley, Underworld Detective. I've decided to start posting it to the end of the original story, so fans of the first story can find the sequel that much easier. Whether fans of the first have been unable to find the sequel or just weren't interested remains a mystery. But since this is a continuation that (hopefully) wraps up a few loose ends, and I haven't finished any 'side stories' that I wanted to add as bonus chapters (which this story technically started out as), I'm posting it here. The astute reader has probably also noticed that the rating has changed from 'T' to 'M', as 'Charlie Weasley, Demon Hunter' contains adult themes, foul language, sexual situations, and a rather graphically violent scene in its first chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. I'm only playing in the sandbox, and I'm not making any money.

--- --- ---

_**Charlie Weasley, Demon Hunter**_

**Chapter 1**: The Beginning of a New Era  
[_September 2010-September 2011_]

--- --- ---

It started at his niece Caitlin's second birthday party. Charlie Weasley hadn't seen his entire family together in one place for a number of years. His work on the dragon reserve in Wales kept him busy, and when he did have the time off to go to a family gathering at some birthday or holiday, some other family member often had obligations that kept them away from the gathering.

That was why he was glad to see most of his family was present at the party. His oldest nieces and nephew were away at Hogwarts, and apparently getting in trouble just a few days into term. His brother Bill had told him about the owl he had received about Victoire taking part of a Quidditch match in the Great Hall during lunch the day before. Charlie had no doubt that it was probably one of Fred or George's children who influenced the normally demure Victoire into taking part. Jessica and Chloe took after their fathers in many ways, but lacked a lot of the self-restraint that Fred and George had demonstrated.

George's wife Tracy had put Charlie and Bill to task decorating the yard while she greeted guests. George was tiredly trying to maintain peace amongst the children, some of who could (and did) use spirit energy. Charlie had never really understood the concept behind it, although he hadn't come back from the dead like Fred had, nor did he possess a sixth sense like George did. He wasn't the least bit surprised that they taught their children how to use spirit energy, though, as there was the occasional demon who would seek out the semi-retired Underworld detectives for some reason or another. Charlie tried to stay out of it. Dragons were more than enough for him. As were four-year-old nephews trying to wrap him up in streamers like some kind of mummy.

"What do mummies have to do with pirates?" Charlie asked his young nephew as he flicked his wand to put a few paper balls in place along the fence line. He was really glad that there was a ward placed around the fence to prevent any nosy neighbors from seeing anything suspicious, like magic (or spirit energy) in use.

His nephew paused briefly, a look of supreme concentration on his face. After a few seconds, he smiled up at Charlie. "Who do you think tucks pirates in at night? Their mummies, of course! Duh!" The four-year-old shook his head like that should be obvious before running a few more circles around Charlie again.

Charlie chuckled, letting the boy have his fun. He loved his nieces and nephews, although sometimes he had trouble keeping track of all of them. He blamed being gone at work so often, but he loved working with his dragons. When an opening came up at the reserve that had opened in Wales, he jumped at the chance to work there instead of in Romania. It let him be closer to his family, even if his schedule didn't always allow for him to visit them. He was on one of his rare breaks, and enjoying every minute of it. Even if he was currently wrapped up like a mummy.

A glance to his brother Bill showed that he too was being wrapped up like a mummy by one of the other triplets. Charlie laughed, trying to step to the side to move on to the next section of fence, but found that by that time the streamer had become tight enough around his leg that he couldn't really move. He looked down at his nephew, who was joined by his brothers. "Thanks, kid," he said.

"Avast! The sea calls to us!" the youngster shouted, joined by his brothers shouting 'Arr!' as they ran off.

Charlie chuckled and shook his head.

"I'll bet you're glad your kids are well behaved," Fred said to Bill as he approached them. He waved his wand and the streamers loosened to let them step free.

Bill laughed and pointed to one area of the yard where the youngest kids were gathered around Harry and Percy. "Last I checked, Louis was trying to use Harry as a trampoline. And I just got the oddest owl this morning about Victoire having earned herself a week of detention for taking part of an impromptu Quidditch match in the Great Hall."

Fred snickered. "Yeah, Jess wrote to me about that. I thought Victoire hated Quidditch."

"So did I," Bill shrugged. He turned to Charlie. "I guess you're lucky not to have any kids, huh?"

Charlie nodded. "None that I know of, at least." As much as he loved all his nieces and nephews, he didn't want kids of his own. He was perfectly content with his life the way it was. He loved working with dragons on the reserve, and if he ever felt the need for female companionship, there was always some pretty young thing he could pick up from a nearby pub. While his brothers might be fine with the whole 'wife and kids' routine, he knew it wasn't for him. It was a point of contention between him and his mother, who wanted him to 'settle down and have a family', but he preferred to stay with his career. Few women could understand his love for dragons, and most would want him to quit such a dangerous job. Those who would understand were extremely rare, and usually either in relationships or more interested in other females. That was fine with him, though. If he had to choose between dragons and having a meaningful relationship, he would choose dragons.

He glanced around the yard, trying to figure out who else was there. By the door that led inside, he saw a rather striking young witch who was tugging on the arm of a blue haired demon. He recognized the demon as Ryou, who had worked with Fred and George back when they were Underworld detectives. He didn't think that the witch was dating or married to any of his brothers, as he didn't recognize her. "Who's the pretty brunette over there?" he asked.

Fred looked toward the door. "Er, that's Tracy kid sister."

Charlie looked back to her in shock. "That's Janice?" It had been a while since he last saw her, but he didn't think it had been _that _long. He could see the family resemblance between her and her sister Tracy, though. Both of them were incredibly easy on the eyes, and had curves in all the right places that would attract many appreciative stares. Well, in recent years it seemed as though Tracy was pregnant a lot, or trying to lose some of the extra weight she'd gained from being pregnant, but she was still attractive. It seemed as though the apple didn't fall far from the tree, as Janice was quite the looker. "She's grown up quite nicely," he said, turning back to Fred. "How old is she now?"

Fred's eye twitched. "Too young for you," he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

Charlie frowned. He was _only _thirty-seven. "I'm not _that _old," he said. A thought crossed his mind that he forgot just how old Janice would be now. "She is legal, right?" He really hoped that he hadn't just been checking out an underage witch. Charlie could be called many things, but a pedophile was not one of them.

Fred just shook his head and walked away from them.

Bill laughed. "I see your brain muscle isn't very well exercised, is it Charlie?"

Charlie turned to him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Bill smirked. "She started Hogwarts before Chloe was born, remember? She wasn't all too happy that she missed the birth of her niece and kept referring to George as a 'stupid poo-head' all summer. That would mean she's 'legal'." He clapped a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Although keep in mind she's your sister-in-law."

Charlie frowned as Bill walked off. He was fully aware that Janice was his sister-in-law. He wasn't stupid. And technically, she was the _sister _of his sister-in-law. The very attractive sister of his sister-in-law. He hung up the last of his decorations with a flick of his wand, and wandered off to mingle.

After a few minutes of talking to his brothers and playing with some of his nieces and nephews, Charlie noticed that Janice was alone, looking around as if not quite sure who to approach next. Ryou was standing grumpily by the door, his arms folded across his chest. Charlie chuckled and walked up behind her. "Seems like your boyfriend doesn't want to be very friendly," he whispered into her ear.

Janice turned around to face him. Seeing her up close, Charlie had to think that the years she spent fighting demons were already taking their toll on her. While still quite pretty, she looked ten years older than she really should. "Ryou's not my boyfriend," she said. "We just work together."

"Didn't he work with Fred and George when they worked for the Underworld?"

Janice smiled. "Yeah, but he was lazy about his assignments, and then got himself into a spot of trouble when he tried to lock a pirrik demon in with a bunch of lawyers. He's still working out his sentence."

Charlie had no idea what a 'pirrik demon' was, and didn't really care to ask. Demons were not his business. "It's been a while," he said instead. "Last time I saw you, you were about this high," he raised a hand to the middle of his chest, teasing her. He was the shortest of his brothers, standing five foot ten. Even when he had first met her when she was eleven, she had never been short enough to only go up to his chest.

Janice raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure I was never that short," she said, smiling. "But it has been a while, Charlie. Are you still playing with dragons?"

Charlie laughed. He remembered how she used to love hearing stories about dragons when she was younger, possibly because of her Muggle upbringing. Dragons were among a few magical creatures that made their way into Muggle legends and folklore. "I don't 'play' with dragons." He reached out and pulled a bit of slime out of her hair, flicking it onto the ground. "You're still playing with demons, I see."

Janice smirked. "You know what they say about all work and no play."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What do they say?"

Janice shrugged. "Something about red rum."

Charlie laughed as he led her towards the edge of the yard. "How long has it been, anyway?"

"A while," Janice said as they sat down in the grass. "I think the last time I saw you was right after the triplets were born. Almost five years."

Yes, she was definitely legal if the last time he saw her was five years ago. He remembered now that the triplets had been born _after _she finished Hogwarts. "Has it been that long?" he asked. "No wonder I didn't recognize you at first." At the questioning look Janice gave him, he smiled. "I was looking over and wondered about who that pretty brunette was. You really have grown up nicely."

She smiled, blushing at the compliment. "Thanks. You don't look half bad for an old man."

Had her tone not been teasing, Charlie might have taken offense to the 'old man' comment. As it was, he faked a look of hurt. "I'm not that old."

Janice smirked and continued to tease him. "You're past your prime, old man. Just admit it."

Two could play that game. Charlie remembered that she'd always been sensitive about her age, primarily because she had often been talked down to while growing up, being told that she wouldn't understand something because she was 'just a kid'. He had always tried avoiding treating her that way, but if she wanted to make cracks about his age… He leaned closer to her. "I'm hardly past my prime, little girl."

"So now I'm a little girl?" Janice asked.

Charlie smirked. "In comparison to an 'old man' like myself, you're young and inexperienced in many ways."

"And what ways would those be?" Janice asked, smirking in challenge.

He knew he really shouldn't be starting anything. She was the younger sister of his sister-in-law Tracy, after all. Still, he couldn't deny that flirting with her was fun, and she seemed to be flirting right back. He paused a little before answering, "Not to mention just a bit naïve."

Janice raised an eyebrow. "Are you hitting on me?" she asked.

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as she called him out. "Probably not the brightest idea of mine. I mean, you've got to be at least twenty years younger than me."

Janice chuckled. "I didn't realize you were _that _old," she teased, smiling slightly. "I seem to recall you were only somewhere around fifteen years older than me. Of course, I can see how you might be growing senile in your old age. So I suppose I can see your point about it being a bad idea to start something. After all, I would have my doubts that you'd be able to keep up with me, old man." She smirked.

Well, she might have called him out, but she was still seemed to be flirting with him. And if she was only fifteen years younger than him, that would make her somewhere around twenty-two or twenty-three. He leaned a bit closer to her. "Is that a challenge?" he asked.

"Only if you're up to it," she countered.

He contemplated her for a few seconds. She was definitely flirting with him. He supposed he could increase things by a notch. "I think you're the one who wouldn't be able to keep up with me. I've no doubt that you'd be energetic enough at first, but I don't think you've quite built up the stamina yet."

She flashed him a look of challenge. "Oh, really?"

Charlie smirked and leaned close to her once more. "Tell me something." He glanced around briefly before leaning closer to her, whispering into her ear, "Have you ever really been with a man before?"

It was obvious she was trying not to blush, but a faint hint of red still crossed her cheeks. "I'm not a virgin," she said, trying to keep her voice even.

"That's not what I asked," Charlie said, moving a strand of her hair out of her face. "I've no doubt that a beautiful young witch like you has experienced a few boys in your time. I'm not asking you if you've ever been with a boy, though. I'm asking if you've ever been with a _man_."

"What's the difference?" Janice asked, blushing deeply.

Charlie chuckled and smiled. "There's a huge difference." He was almost about to add something else, but stopped himself from doing so. If she was genuinely interested, she could take him up on his unspoken offer. If not, it was better to leave things where they were, and chalk it up to a simple exchange of banter later on.

His sister Ginny emerged from the house, declaring the food was ready. Charlie looked at Janice briefly, and seeing she was lost in thought, helped her up.

Halfway to the tables, Janice stopped him and whispered in his ear, "Will you show me the difference?"

Charlie turned to her in astonishment. Part of him had been hoping that she would take him up on his offer, but he hadn't expected her to. "Not here," he whispered back.

She nodded almost imperceptively. "My place."

Charlie smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "Later."

Janice smiled at him, walking off towards the tables set up. Charlie followed a few paces behind, watching her walk. Maybe it wasn't the best of ideas, since things could get awkward afterwards. But they hadn't seen each other in almost five years, so that had to account for something.

--- --- ---

When Tracy went into labor during the party, Janice turned to him, asking him if he wanted to sneak off. They Disapparated to Janice's flat while the youngest kids were put down for naps. Charlie felt a bit bad for doing so, but Janice explained that it might take a while. He tried to put it out of his mind as she led him to her bed, stroking him to full attention. He would make it up later.

Even though she was no virgin, he had to still himself after entering her so she could get used to his size. By her admission, Charlie was bigger than any of the 'boys' she'd been with before. He made sure to keep his promise about teaching her the difference between boys and men. Those she'd been with before focused primarily on their own pleasure, and it showed. Charlie made sure to touch her in all the right places, taking pleasure in her calling out his name as he brought her to multiple orgasms before climaxing himself.

"My gods," Janice muttered after he withdrew from her and laid down next to her.

Charlie chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment," he said as he pushed a strand of her hair off her damp forehead. "Do you think you know the difference now?" he teased.

Janice smiled. "Can't talk. Still reeling."

Charlie smiled. It was quite an ego boost to hear her say things like that. He briefly wondered if any of the boys she'd been with had brought her to orgasm, but didn't really feel like asking. "We should head back to the party," he said.

"Probably," Janice agreed reluctantly. "Don't want to get out of bed, though."

He didn't really want to, either, but knew that somebody would probably miss them at some point. There was definitely something to be said about her youthful eagerness, though. He just hoped she didn't end up regretting what they'd done. While things could become awkward -- as they'd certainly been awkward after George had learned that Charlie had slept with Tracy before they were together -- awkwardness was something Charlie could deal with. Regret was not.

After a few minutes of lying next to one another, Charlie got up to get dressed. As much as he would have liked to remain next to her soft body, he knew they had to get back to the party. Besides, he wanted to see his new niece or nephew.

"Your shirt is inside out," Janice said as she was getting dressed.

Charlie smiled. "Possibly. But I'm feeling too lazy to bother correcting it." He sat down next to her after zipping up his jeans. "There's still a lot I can teach you, if you're interested," he said, leaning into her for a kiss.

She kissed him back, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime," she said as she pulled back from him, smiling.

Charlie returned her smile. If only he had known what he was getting himself into…

--- --- ---

"Weasley! We've got a hatching going on!" Tyrone Darson shouted into the mess hall. Tyrone was one of the younger dragon keepers on the reserve, having started just the previous summer after leaving Hogwarts. He worked as part of Charlie's crew, often getting regulated to the unenviable task of cleaning the dragon dung from the enclosures. He knew that Charlie liked to be present for any hatchings that took place, as it made it easier to work with the dragons as they grew up when one formed an imprint bond with them. Not that they were easy to deal with then, but they were a bit easier to handle.

Charlie stood up from the bench he was sitting on, his lunch forgotten. He often ate at the mess hall on the reservation, having never quite mastered the art of cooking. That wasn't to say that he couldn't, but it was always good to have a break from cold cereal and instant noodles.

"One of the eggs brought in yesterday?" Charlie asked as he briskly walked with Tyrone toward the nursery. Dragon eggs brought in from outside the reservation were brought to a building often referred to as the 'nursery'. The eggs themselves would be in incubation rooms until they hatched, and the hatchlings transferred to large habitation rooms until they were mature enough to be placed in one of the vast enclosures.

"I guess they were brought in just in time," Tyrone said.

The previous day, a representative of the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had brought nine confiscated dragon eggs to the reservation. Somebody had been caught selling dragon eggs on the black market, and something needed to be done with the eggs before they hatched. As much as Charlie loved working with dragons, he had to agree that they were incredibly dangerous, and there was a reason why they were not allowed to be kept as pets. Fred's spirit beast didn't quite count, as Moonshine was tame and wasn't a real dragon, even if it could transform into one.

Arriving at the nursery, Charlie tapped his wand against the security lock, gaining them entrance to the building. He quickly led the way to where the eggs were kept, seeing that one of the nine eggs had cracks forming along it, although the dragon inside had not yet hatched. "Good, I'm not too late."

The attendant there looked over to him, a quill and parchment floating in the air in front of him. "You always have had impeccable timing," he said. "It shouldn't be long now."

Charlie nodded, sitting down in a chair to wait.

There was always an attendant in the nursery, recording down the vital statistics of every dragon that was hatched on the reserve. Breed, weight, assigned name and number. As one of the senior dragon keepers, ranking only second under the big boss, Charlie was allowed to be present as well. He let Tyrone join him in watching the hatching, believing it to be a good experience for the novice.

After a few minutes, the cracks grew more profound, and a small claw poked out of the egg. Charlie watched the hatching from his chair while his trainee Tyrone went over to get a better view of the hatching egg.

"You might not want to get too close," Charlie warned.

Tyrone leaned closer to the egg. "Why? It's just a baby."

Charlie would have pointed out that even a baby dragon could be dangerous if one stood too close, which Tyrone was. He would have pointed that out if there had been time.

A small, sharp talon suddenly raked across Tyrone's face as the hatchling broke free. Charlie quickly stood up, trying to cast containment spells on the hatchling. The creature hissed, disregarding the spells Charlie and the attendant cast as it raked its claws across Tyrone's stomach.

From the corner of his eye, Charlie could see the attendant backing towards the door while hurling more spells at the creature. Usually, when there was such a reaction from a newly hatched dragon and spells failed to contain it, the procedure was to get out of the room and seal it off until more tamers could arrive to sedate the dragon. Charlie hated the idea of leaving Tyrone alone in the room like that, but as the creature ignored the spells and eviscerated the young tamer, Charlie knew that it was too late for his trainee. They had to get out of there and seal the room off before the hatchling could get out.

Charlie slammed the door behind him, casting a spell to seal it.

"What the fuck was that?" the attendant asked, wide-eyed.

Charlie shook his head, looking through the window into the room. He quickly looked away as the hatchling began to devour chunks of gore strewn about. "No idea," he said. "But that was no dragon."

The hatchling had not resembled any dragon he had seen before. It had skeletal wings, two horns atop its potato-shaped head, and looked to have a hide made out of some sallow rubbery type substance. The strangest of all was how its body seemed to have been smoking with an almost black aura. While Charlie normally might have just chalked it up to some unknown breed, knowing of the existence of demons, he thought that maybe he needed an expert's opinion.

--- --- ---

"It's a mydar demon," Ryou said as he looked through the window into the room where the hatchling was contained. "Highly illegal in the human realm." He turned to Charlie. "Why do you have mydar eggs here?"

"They were brought in by someone from the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures," Charlie said. "They were believed to be dragon eggs."

Janice glanced over at him from where she'd been typing something into a small electronic device she held in her hands. "What idiot brought those things here without clearing it past me first?"

Charlie shrugged. "Some bloke named Elton Fisher."

Janice rolled her eyes and put the small electronic into a pocket. "Remind me to talk to Hermione about firing that moron." She pulled a small device out of her pocket that Charlie recognized as a mobile phone. "Ryou? Subdue the hatched mydar."

Ryou nodded. "Cover me."

"Ready when you are," Janice said, pressing a few numbers onto the number pad before turning to the window.

Ryou slipped into the room where the hatchling was feasting upon the remains of Tyrone. Through the window, Charlie could see icicles form on the ceiling, as well as the window itself. He turned away from the window quickly, though, as the sight of his trainee's remains turned his stomach. He glanced over at Janice. "I guess you'll be transporting the rest of the eggs?"

Janice nodded as she held the device to her ear. "Koenma? We need a portal to the demon realm now. We've got a breach of Section 78-C under the Ningenkai Immigration Act. I'll find the demon responsible for bringing mydars into the human realm, but we need immediate deportation--"

Charlie watched her as she continued to debrief her boss on the situation. It had been about three weeks since their encounter at Caitlin's birthday party, and they hadn't spoken to one another since. Charlie supposed that he probably could have made an effort to talk to her -- he did have her phone number, after all, and he could have owled her -- but hadn't tried to contact her. He really hoped she wasn't angry at him about it, but wouldn't blame her if she was.

He had contacted her after sealing the door. The attendant's memory had been modified so that he was unaware of anything unusual about the creature -- he would only recall that there had been an incident, but would believe that the creature was a normal dragon that had destroyed the rest of the eggs before it had been destroyed -- and then was sent off to see the Healer on the reserve to deal with what he'd seen.

A glance inside showed that Ryou had frozen the creature in ice, although that merely appeared to have slowed its movements down. Charlie had a feeling that if he were to step inside the room, it would be below zero degrees in there.

With an annoyed sound, Janice closed her mobile phone. "It'll be another fifteen minutes," she said. "I hope you don't mind if a portal to the demon plane is opened here. It makes transport easier that way."

Charlie turned to her. "Do you deal with this sort of thing often?"

She glanced over at him. "I suppose it depends on how you define 'this sort of thing'. I deal with demons in general practically every day, so that's kind of vague."

Charlie gestured to the window. "I take it that's not the first victim you've seen, either."

"I was desensitized at a young age," Janice said. "Horror movies. Field trips to the morgue. The first time someone actually died in front of me was when I was twelve." She turned back to the window. "I've seen a lot worse. I've done a lot worse."

Charlie contemplated her for a moment. "Why do you fight demons?"

She titled her head. "What else would I do?"

After a few minutes of silence, he asked her, "You're not angry that I didn't contact you after Caitlin's party, are you?"

"Huh?" She turned to him. "Why would I be?"

He shrugged. "It's been three weeks."

She gave him an incredulous look. "Really? It's been that long?" She scratched a spot behind her ear. "I hadn't really paid any attention to the time. I didn't really expect to hear anything from you at all, though."

"Why not?" Charlie asked.

Janice shrugged. "I just figured it was a one night stand or something. I don't know about you, but _I'm _not looking for anything beyond no strings attached. Too complicated."

Charlie smiled. "A woman after my own heart," he teased. He was relieved she wasn't angry, as there had been women he'd been with before who expected more out of one night stands or casual flings. He wasn't interested in anything resembling a relationship with anyone, so was glad to hear she felt the same way.

Janice smiled, and they lapsed into silence for a few more minutes before a strange vortex appeared behind them. "You might want to keep a safe distance away," she said, preparing to open the door to let Ryou and the demonic creature out.

--- --- ---

Charlie lazily traced the tattoo on Janice's arm as they laid in his bed together. After sending the remaining eggs (and partially frozen mydar demon) to the demon plane, Janice joined Charlie for drinks and a shag at the cabin where he lived at the reservation. "Do you know what this means, or did you just get it because you liked the design?" he asked.

"The kanji?" Janice asked, still partially on top of Charlie. "It means 'eternal'. I also like the design, though."

Charlie smiled. "A lot of people get inked with kanji and don't even know what it means. I saw someone the other day wearing a shirt with kanji that translates to 'My monkey is cheese'."

"You can read Japanese?" Janice asked.

"Hai," Charlie replied. "I'm not very good at speaking it, but I can understand it when it's spoken." He smiled. "All I learned about Japanese, I learned from anime."

Janice smiled. "A man after my own heart," she teased. "Otaku of the world, unite."

Charlie smiled, wrapping his arms around her. "Anime or manga?"

"Manga," Janice said, tracing a finger on his chest. "Live action movies based on anime?"

"Crimes against humanity," Charlie said, chuckling. "Except the live action Death Note movies, but those were Japanese."

"I'm glad we're in agreement, then," Janice said. "If you were an anime character, who--"

Charlie silenced her with a kiss. They could have this conversation later. Right now, he felt like he could have another go if she were up to it. If her hand lowering to wrap around his manhood was any indication, it seemed as though she was.

--- --- ---

The next time Charlie met with Janice was two weeks later, after just calling her randomly one night after work. He was bored, had nearly been set on fire earlier that day, and could really use someone to talk to over drinks. It seemed as though she'd had a bad day as well, receiving a nasty gash on her arm that she said looked worse than it really was. The claws of grishnar demons were slightly poisonous, although she would be fine. Once again, they ended the night in his bed. He didn't care if he had work the next day, he made sure that she learned that there were men who could go for hours at a time. For all her youthful energy, she was the one who was completely exhausted at the end of the night. Or rather, the wee hours of the morning.

At the end of October, he made sure that he took the time off work to go to the triplets' fifth birthday party. He'd always had a special fondness for the little trouble makers. Part of him was also hoping to see Janice again, although he had vowed to himself that he wouldn't skive off his nephews' birthday party like he had his niece's.

He didn't see her at the party, although he did see her partner Ryou. He never did understand what the whole 'partner' thing meant, although took it to mean they worked together. Not having really spoken to Ryou much in the past, he was a bit hesitant to approach the ice demon.

"Where's your partner?" Charlie tried to ask casually as he approached.

Ryou looked at him, his gaze cold as usual. "The hospital."

Charlie blinked. "Is she all right? What happened?"

Ryou shrugged. "She was careless enough to get a sword embedded in her stomach. She'll be fine."

That didn't sound the least bit 'fine' to Charlie. After Ryou refused to tell him anything more, he went over to Tracy, who was sitting on a blanket with her infant son Riley.

"Did you know your sister's in the hospital?" Charlie asked her after she asked him what was wrong.

"She's always in the hospital for some reason or another," Tracy replied, holding a bottle steady as her son fed.

"She was impaled with a sword," Charlie said, sitting down. "Doesn't that worry you?"

"She's had worse injuries," Tracy said. "I saw her yesterday, and she was doing just fine. All her vitals were missed. She might have a scar, but that wouldn't be anything new."

Charlie didn't have anything to say about that. He'd seen the various scars Janice had across her arms and torso, but hadn't thought anything of them at the time. He himself had plenty of burns and scars he'd received through the years of working with dragons, but that was just part of working with dangerous creatures.

"She can take care of herself, Charlie," Tracy continued. "Ryou's saved her life countless times, just as she's saved his. It's part of what we do."

"But someday she won't be all right," Charlie said.

"Perhaps," was Tracy's reply. "But she's fully aware of those risks, and chooses to take them. That's why I've retired, as has George and Fred. Why the sudden concern?"

Charlie shook his head. "Ryou's blasé attitude about it just got to me." He didn't think it would be a good idea to admit to Tracy that he was sleeping with her younger sister. It might only have happened a few times, but it still didn't seem like something he should say to her. Especially since he once had slept with Tracy years ago, before she met and married his brother.

"As I told George, if Ryou's not concerned, you shouldn't be, either," Tracy said, removing the bottle from her son's mouth and shifting him to her shoulder to burp him. "He's her partner."

Charlie couldn't help but wonder what exactly 'partner' meant, but didn't ask. He supposed he'd have to just take Tracy's word for things and not worry about it. As his seven-year-old nephew Jack approached, wanting him to take part in a game of Quidditch, he forgot about his worry for the time being. It wouldn't do much good to be antisocial.

--- --- ---

Charlie received a phone call from Janice a few nights later. A couple of years ago, he had gotten a mobile phone to make contacting his family easier, even though not everyone in his family had one. He supposed it had something to do with how he felt more comfortable with Muggle technology than some of them.

"Ryou told me you were asking about me," Janice said on the other end.

"Are you all right?" Charlie asked, sitting up straight in bed. He had just been about to go to sleep before she called.

"Obviously," Janice replied. There was a pause. "Do you always show such concern over your one night stands?"

"You're my sister-in-law," Charlie said. "You're family. Of course I'm going to show concern if you had a sword sticking through your gut."

There was another pause. "Do you want to come over to my flat?" Janice asked.

Charlie paused for a moment. He did want to see her, if only to make sure she really was all right. "I can be there in ten minutes," he said.

Ten minutes later, Charlie sat across from Janice on her couch, wondering just how bad the damage really was. "Does it still hurt?"

She shrugged. "Not really. It's pretty much healed over now. Magic and spirit energy can go a long way. Do you really think of us as family?"

Charlie paused. "Aren't we? I mean, your sister is married to my brother."

"And you show the same concern for every brother or sister of an in-law?" Janice asked as she poured a couple glasses of Firewhisky. "Did you know that back in the days when she was Kuroi, Tracy had an older brother? He's still in the demon realm as far as I know, but I doubt you'd consider him family."

"I didn't even know he existed until you just told me," Charlie said. "But I've known you since you were--" He stopped himself. He didn't want to say 'since she was a kid', even though it was the truth. "Since just before you started Hogwarts."

"Since I was a kid," Janice said. "Pre-puberty, even." She handed him a glass of Firewhisky. "Do you normally fuck members of your family ?"

"What?! No!"

"Then I'm not family," Janice reasoned. "Here's the problem. We're more than strangers, but less than family. Otherwise we get into a territory that could be considered borderline incest. You might be fine with the implications of that, but I'm not. Are we in agreement that we're not family?"

Charlie nodded. He could see where she was coming from, as theirs was a rather unusual situation. Not having seen each other much through the years, they hadn't established any sort of real familial bond, either. "Point taken and agreed with. We're not family."

"Glad we're in agreement there," Janice said, taking a sip of her Firewhisky. "I need to make sure of something. Your concern for me… It's not coming from any actual feelings you might have towards me, is it?"

Charlie stared at her for a few seconds. "What we have is just sex. And that's if we even have anything at all."

Janice smiled. "Good. No strings attached, no emotional involvement. And don't worry about me in the future. People will suspect that there's something going on between us if you ask too much about me. As it was, Tracy inquired as to why you were asking about me. She's not stupid."

Charlie nodded and took a swig of his drink. "I would have shown concern whether we were sleeping together or not," he said. "Maybe we're not family-close, but we're not strangers."

"Just don't cross the line," Janice said, sipping her own drink.

"I could tell you the same thing," Charlie said. "I have been doing this sort of thing a lot longer than you have."

She raised an eyebrow. "How long?" she asked, her voice sounding more conversational than accusatory.

"My first time was when I was fourteen," Charlie said.

"Before I was born," Janice said, taking a drink. She smirked. "I suppose you really are old enough to be my father."

Their fifteen year age difference had crossed Charlie's mind more than once, but to hear it pointed out by her like that… "Does it bother you?"

"No," she said, smiling slightly. "I suppose I've developed a preference to older men."

Charlie smiled as he took a drink. If it didn't bother her, he wouldn't let it bother him, either. "Even one old enough to be your father?" he teased.

She smirked. "I suppose that depends on whether there's any more lessons to learn."

He chuckled. "Oh, there's much you have yet to learn. I suppose you're asking me to teach you, am I right?"

Janice set her glass down on the table, and moved toward him, placing her soft lips on his.

--- --- ---

For the next few months it was sporadic. Maybe a weekend here or there. Sometime around the spring it became something they did every weekend. By the time summer turned to autumn, Janice was sleeping in his bed more often than she was in her own.

"You know," Charlie said as they laid together in his bed one crisp night in late September, "with all the time you spend here, it might be better to just move in."

"Do you want me to move in with you?" Janice asked, tracing one of his scars with a finger.

"Sure. Why not?" he asked, moving a hand along a long burn scar she had on her arm.

"Do dragons ever follow you home?" she asked after a long pause.

"Well, there was that one time Snowball tried to follow me here," Charlie began, smiling. "What does that have to--"

"Demons follow me," Janice said. "The apartment complex next to mine was firebombed last week."

Charlie pondered that for a moment as he held her. He knew her line of work was dangerous, perhaps more so than his. It shouldn't be too surprising to hear that demons would try to track her down. "You're afraid they'll track you down here," he said.

"They might also use you to get to me," she said. "You would make a rather enticing hostage. Why do you think Tracy's made sure all her kids are well versed in using their spirit energy? I know that Fred's taught Hermione and their kids how to fight as well."

"Will you teach me?" Charlie asked.

Janice was silent for a while. "My lease is up at the end of the month. I suppose I should teach you, if you really are serious about this."

Charlie smiled, as he moved his hand along her back. "I look forward to learning," he said before drawing her in to a kiss.


	28. 02 To a Brave New World

**Chapter 2**: To a Brave New World  
[_The First Half of October 2011_]

--- --- ---

Charlie wearily set his bag down on the couch after coming home from a hard day's work. He had no idea whether Janice was home yet or not, as her schedule could be rather unpredictable. She had moved in a little over a week ago, and so far had come back at varying times. Two days ago, she hadn't come back until eleven at night, but that was because she had visited her sister Tracy (who was apparently expecting again) and then had been sent to deal with some demon.

He didn't hear any sounds in the cabin, so figured that she must not be back yet. Deciding that maybe a shower was in order, he walked towards the bathroom.

He was surprised to see her sitting on the bathroom floor, a scared look on her face as she stared at a glass vial of some sort of potion in front of her. "What's wrong?" he asked as he entered the bathroom and knelt down by her.

Janice shot him a scared look, and then wordlessly pointed to the vial holding the red liquid. Charlie glanced to it, not sure what it could be that had her looking so frightened. Next to it, he saw a sheet of parchment that he picked up. His eyes widened as he realized that they were instructions to a pregnancy test. They normally took the precaution of using a charm, although there were times when they forgot to do so. Taking a contraceptive potion made Janice vomit, and she had a tendency to forget things (like eating), so taking the Muggle birth control pill every day wasn't too feasible either.

Charlie continued to read the instructions. The potion would turn either red or blue. It would be blue if the test was negative, and red if it was positive. He glanced back to the vial of red potion, and then turned to her in shock. "You're pregnant?"

Janice closed her eyes and placed her hands over her ears, whimpering.

Charlie couldn't blame her in the least. Pregnancy was not part of the plan. What they had was a purely sexual relationship. They'd never gone on dates, never let any emotions get in the way of what they had. True, she had moved in with him, but what they had was a one night stand that had evolved into a series of one night stands.

This wouldn't go away, though. Pregnancy tests could be unreliable, so there was always the slim hope that maybe it was just a false positive. A Healer could confirm that it was false. He grabbed her wrists, prying her hands away from her ears. "Have you seen a Healer about this?"

"No," she said in a small voice.

Charlie nodded and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "Everything will be fine," he said, trying to calm her.

"No it won't," she said, clutching onto him.

Secretly, he agreed with her that everything would not be fine. Everything had changed. If she was pregnant, that meant they would forever be linked to one another in a way that neither had planned. He would be a father. It was a notion that was even more frightening than the idea of facing a horde of angry dragons alone during mating season. No, everything would not be fine.

--- --- ---

"That Healer should be fired," Janice said as they walked out of the Healer's office the next day. "She had no idea what she was talking about."

Charlie's last remaining hope that the pregnancy test was wrong was dashed after taking Janice to see a Healer. Janice was confirmed as being nine weeks pregnant with his child, and the Healer was even able to determine the exact date of conception. The Healer could have determined their child's gender, but Janice refused.

"Janice?" Charlie tentatively asked as they walked towards the Apparition point. "I know that neither of us wanted this, but it's happening."

Janice shook her head. "It's not happening, because I'm not pregnant. That Healer's wrong. That stupid test is wrong."

He wished he could agree with that. Instead, he sighed. "So what do you want to do?" he asked as they reached the Apparition point, preparing to head back to his cabin.

"I want to deny this is happening, and continue on living my life according to plan," Janice said before Apparating.

Charlie shook his head, following suit. Times like this reminded him of just how young she was at times. She had been a child that grew up too fast in a short amount of time. She had seen more than her fair share of death, both of the innocent and the not-so-innocent. Charlie never asked her how old she was when she first killed somebody. He didn't really want to know.

Charlie entered the lodge, following Janice inside. He walked over to her as she sat down on the couch, placing her head in her hands. "I can't do this," she muttered.

Charlie knelt down in front of her. "Is it really that bad?"

She lowered her hands to look at him. "Do you want it to be true?"

Charlie shook his head. He was not ready to be a father. He never wanted to be a father. "Not particularly. I mean, I never really cared much about having kids. Far too dangerous. But it's happening, and denying it isn't going to make it not true."

"Why can't it?" Janice asked in a small voice.

He sighed. "It just can't," he said. "Look, I'm not too keen on the whole idea of having a kid, but--"

"That's just it, though," Janice interrupted. "You don't have to. You can go on with your life and do all the things you want to do. You have that choice. I don't. You can walk away and pretend it isn't happening. I can't."

Charlie stared at her in shock for a moment, and then got up to sit down next to her on the couch. "Do you honestly think I would do that?"

"You can, though," she said.

"But I won't," Charlie said. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "There are options. They're not all good ones, but if you really don't want to go through with this, you don't have to. But it's better to figure this out sooner than later."

"Do we have to?" Janice asked in a small voice.

Charlie nodded. "We have to think of something," he said, trying to be the voice of reason. "This isn't going to go away on its own."

She turned to him. "I'm not ready to have a kid," she said, clutching on to the front of his shirt.

"Neither am I," Charlie said, holding her in his arms. "But it's happening."

He didn't like having to be the voice of reason in this situation. He liked things the way they had been. There were no expectations for any sort of commitment, no accusations of not being romantic or taking her for granted and ignoring her. It was just sex. And now things had changed irrevocably.

There had been plenty of opportunities in the past to end things, but neither of them did. Charlie was pretty sure his brother Fred suspected something was going on between them, but kept his silence. But instead of ending things, Charlie had even invited her to live with him so things would be more convenient.

There were plenty of reasons why they shouldn't have been together. The age issue, their family situation, or even his past involvement with her sister. But even with all those reasons combined, they still ended up in bed together again and again. The sex was great, and it was certainly convenient, but that shouldn't be reason enough to ignore all the reasons why they shouldn't be involved.

As far as Charlie knew, nobody knew what was going on between them. Perhaps there were people who suspected, but nobody actually knew of their continued involvement. Nobody would understand why they were together, and simply saying that they were together because the sex was great wouldn't go over well.

"I don't want this to be happening," Janice said, holding onto him. "How am I supposed to fight like this?"

Charlie looked at her as he held her. "Maybe I could do it," he said after a long pause.

Janice glanced up at him in surprise. "Do you have any idea how dangerous fighting demons can be?"

He slowly nodded. "So far, I know you've been set on fire, impaled with a sword, poisoned, had several broken bones and nasty gashes, and I'm sure the list goes on. You're practically on a first name basis with every Healer and Muggle doctor in the western hemisphere. I'm pretty sure that fighting demons is pretty damn dangerous. I've seen your scars. Will you teach me how to fight?"

Janice paused. "You're too old to fight demons. There's a reason why fighters like myself are chosen when we're young."

"I am not that old," Charlie said. "Wizards seem to stay young longer than Muggles do. I'm not out of my prime yet."

"Adults have more difficulty learning how to use Reiki," Janice said. "It's easier to teach someone who is young and impressionable. If you really want, I will teach you how to fight, though."

"Are you keeping it, then?" Charlie asked, trying to get her back to talking about their situation. He didn't really fancy the idea of fighting demons, but knew that things wouldn't be as simple as her quitting her job as the Underworld detective. Somebody would have to take her place while she was out of commission, because he really didn't like the idea of her fighting while she was pregnant. Besides, how different could fighting demons be from dealing with dragons?

"I won't terminate it," Janice said. "It's not like I'm opposed to the idea on principle, but it's not something I don't think I could go through with. There's still time to think about what to do about it later."

Charlie was rather relieved to hear that she wasn't going to abort their child. As much as he didn't like the idea of having a kid, he found the idea of using abortion as a method of birth control rather distasteful. Years ago, his younger brother Percy had broken up with his longtime girlfriend Penelope after she had an abortion without even bothering to tell him she was pregnant to begin with. Of course, she had also been cheating on Percy with another guy and had no clue whose child it might have been, but it had still been a rather harrowing experience for his brother, made worse because it happened during the time when Percy was still estranged from the rest of the family. There were times when termination of a pregnancy might be acceptable, but Charlie did not like the idea when it struck close to home. And this would be incredibly close, as it was _his _child.

"I'm not going to ask you to marry me," Charlie said, wanting to make sure she knew where he stood. He'd never wanted to have any kids, but he could get used to having the idea of becoming a father. Eventually. But he honestly did not want to get married, especially to someone who he didn't even have a real relationship with. He didn't love her, and marrying her just so their child wouldn't be born out of wedlock would not be fair to any of them. Maybe she might fall in love with someone else, or maybe he would. They might even fall in love with one another at some point, but he preferred to keep as many options open as possible. The freedom of how things were between them now was far more appealing, even if she was pregnant with his child. To hell with what other people would think.

"I wouldn't want you to," Janice said. "And just to let you know, I won't hold you to any sort of obligation. If you ever want me to leave, just tell me."

"I'm going to be there," Charlie said. "I don't plan on going anywhere, and I am not going to throw you out." He paused. "Do you want to try keeping it?"

"Because it's ever so much fun being a single mother raising a child and fighting demons at the same time," Janice said. "I remember what my sister went through after our parents died. Neither of us were very happy about all the time she was gone working two jobs _and _fighting demons. I know George wasn't happy that she started fighting again right after Chloe was born. That's probably why he kept knocking her up."

Charlie pretended he didn't hear that last part. It really wasn't any of his business what George and Tracy were doing. "You wouldn't be alone. If you want to, maybe we could try to work something out."

Janice was silent for a while. "I suppose we can try. Just to let you know, I hate the idea of relationships in general. Too much work."

Charlie nodded. "That, and there aren't too many people who could cope with the whole 'never around' thing."

"Or the whole 'I could die at any time' thing," Janice added.

"Not while you're pregnant with my child," Charlie said.

"I won't actively seek a fight, but that doesn't mean nobody will actively seek a fight with me. I am rather unpopular with the general demonic populace," Janice said. "Downside of being one of the best, I guess."

"If any demon tries to track you down, I'll fight them," Charlie offered.

Janice was silent for a moment, and then stood up. "When I first moved in, you asked what was in the locked trunk. If you really are serious about learning to fight, then maybe it's time to show you." She reached a hand out to him. "Shall we begin?"

--- --- ---

Charlie had never seen so many weapons in one place at the same time. Even when he had gone with some friends from the reserve to a shop that sold weapons, there still wasn't as many as were now gathered on the floor of their bedroom. And there were still more in the trunk. Some he recognized, others he did not.

"Every demon has different strengths and weaknesses," Janice said as she admired the blade of a katana. "Spirit energy is just one of the many tools you can use against demons. Weapons are another."

Charlie picked up a stack of rectangular papers she had set aside. "Death of a thousand paper cuts?"

"Wards," Janice said, setting down the katana. "If you create the right ward, you can suppress a demon's power, bar them from entering certain places, cause them pain, or a whole variety of different things. Whatever you need to do to get the job done." She smiled slightly. "I even know how to create a ward to get Ryou to change from his male form to female form and stay that way for up to 24 hours, whether the usual conditions to revert back are met or not. I'd recommend not doing that, though, unless you really want to piss him off royally."

Charlie chuckled as he set down the papers. He picked up a paper fan. "And this?"

"A harisen," she said. "It's enchanted. Many of these weapons are enchanted. Spoils of war. I wouldn't recommend unsheathing that knife, though. There's some strange spell on it, and nobody really could figure out what it was."

Charlie set down the knife he'd picked up, still in its sheath. "Do I have to learn how to use all these weapons?"

Janice paused. "Well, maybe not _all _of them. But it would be a good idea to learn as much as possible, depending on what kind of fighting you plan to do. I've always been of the philosophy that it's better to know how to make anything in your hands a deadly weapon. I could kill you with a cotton ball if I wanted to."

Charlie wasn't quite sure whether or not to believe her claim of that, but opted not to call her on it. "What happens if there's nothing in my hands?"

"I'll be teaching you in unarmed combat as well," Janice said. "I'll probably refrain from teaching you about the deadly pressure points until later, but it is possible to kill someone by gently tapping a finger in just the right spot."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Is there really?"

Janice laughed. "No. Or if there is, I don't know it. But there are pressure points on the body that can let you incapacitate someone. In a real combat situation you won't get much of a chance to use them, though. I learned that after almost losing an arm years back."

Charlie picked up a baton. With a flick of his wrist, it extended to a good four feet in length. "There's a lot to learn, isn't there?"

"Having second thoughts, old man?" Janice teased.

"Hardly," Charlie said. "I'd recommend not becoming a teacher if you expect to teach everything you know all at once. I've still yet to teach you everything I know."

Janice was silent for a while before tossing him a ring. "Put it on. It boosts one's spirit energy. I forget just what Karin called it, but it's one of the Underworld detective's tools of trade."

Charlie looked at the ring in his hand. It was silver and vaguely resembled a crown. "I can't use spirit energy, though."

"You can," Janice said. "You just haven't been taught how to yet." She sat down on the bed, and with a flick of her wand, various weapons went back into their place in her trunk. "Everybody is capable of using spirit energy, but few ever bother to learn how to use it. I'll be teaching you, and I'll have Ryou teach you as well. You won't be my replacement, but I guess you can be my substitute if you want to be."

"How difficult is it to learn?" Charlie asked.

Janice paused. "It depends on the person. You're familiar with Dragonball Z, right? I suppose you could use the basics of using ki as a starting point."

Charlie nodded, looking up at her from his spot on the floor. "George said that's how he learned how to use his spirit energy."

"I wouldn't doubt that," Janice said, smiling. "It's a matter of focus. You gather your energy to a focal point. Once you've gathered it, you would release the energy, letting it do as it will. My main Reiki attack manifests in the form of a boomerang. I never could figure out why, but I think it might have to do with how my father was born and raised in Australia before he moved to England and met my mum." She shrugged.

Charlie hadn't known that. Of course, there wasn't a lot about her that he really knew. They'd been sleeping together for over a year, and he wasn't even sure when her birthday was. He thought it was sometime in the summer, but couldn't remember if it was in June or July. She never said anything about it, and no party was held to celebrate it. "Is talking about them painful?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Not really. I mean, it was at first, but it's been over thirteen years. It sucks that they're gone, but I like to think that they're happy, wherever they may be. They wouldn't want people to mourn them. They'd want people to celebrate the fact that they had lived, and then go on to live their lives and be happy."

"Fighting demons makes you happy," Charlie said. It wasn't even a question.

"What can I say? I'm a battle junkie," Janice said, smiling wryly. "We all do what we love, and I like to think that I've made them proud."

"I don't think my parents will be all that proud of me over all this," Charlie said as he looked at the ring that would boost his spirit energy. "My mum never did like it when Fred and George were fighting demons. I doubt that she'll like it if I start doing the same thing. She keeps wanting me to get a nice safe job as it is."

"No offense, but your mother can be a bit overbearing," Janice said. "But she really loves all of you, and doesn't want any of you to end up hurt. You're all her children, and I guess sometimes it's hard to let go enough to realize that you're adults, and not children that need protecting anymore."

"Telling her about all this is going to be a nightmare," Charlie said. "She's been telling me for years that I should settle down and have a family."

Janice was silent for a while, sending more of the weapons into the trunk. "I'd rather wait to tell them. I think that maybe I can accept the idea of being pregnant, but I don't want to think about it right now. Things will click into place. They always do. For now, let's get you trained up."

Charlie wasn't so sure that things would just 'click into place' as far as her pregnancy was concerned. He knew they couldn't hide it forever, but she was probably right about not wanting to think of it at the moment. The idea of being a father was something Charlie didn't want to think about either.

"Focus," Janice said. "Imagine all the energy in your body gathering in one spot…"

--- --- ---

"Once again, I've killed you," Ryou said as he held a bamboo sword to Charlie's throat.

Charlie was sprawled out on the ground, having been disarmed and knocked down by the ice demon. Ryou had reluctantly agreed to help train him after Janice had explained the situation. It was one of Charlie's rare days off, although Janice had to work at her job at the Ministry. Since Ryou was confined to London when not in the presence of an Underworld detective, Charlie was training in the spartan flat that Ryou rented on Dimonnik Alley. He had never known that demons had their own subsection of London, much like wizards did, although he wasn't too surprised. He was told that demons hid amongst humans, much like wizards hid amongst Muggles.

Charlie got up as Ryou moved the bamboo sword. "You're holding back, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," Ryou said. "You're far from ready for me to go all out."

Ryou was teaching Charlie how to fight with a sword, using wooden swords for practice. Charlie was a bit baffled as to why he'd need to know how to use such a thing, as swords were not in common use in the modern era. Still, he supposed it had to do with fighting demons, some of whom did not care what weapons were in use.

"Why are you doing this?" Charlie asked as he retrieved his sword from where it had fallen to the ground earlier.

Ryou was silent for a while. "I made a promise long ago to protect Janice," he said. "I'm just carrying out that promise. She's my partner."

There was that word again. He still wasn't sure what that meant, but from the sound of it, it struck him as something deeper than just co-workers. "What does that mean? Partner?"

Ryou didn't answer at first, taking a fighting stance once more. "When fighting, do not look at what your opponent is doing. Maintain eye contact, and trust in your own instincts. I've been told that you still have yet to call upon your Reiki." Without warning, he swung at Charlie, who just barely was able to parry the blow.

Charlie made a face, taking a step back. He didn't know if Ryou was holding back on strength, but if he wasn't, then Charlie was physically stronger. Having worked with dragons for the past twenty years had helped Charlie to develop plenty of muscle, not to mention the years he spent playing Quidditch prior to that. "It's only been three days," he grunted, knocking Ryou's sword aside and moving to strike. "I'm not used to dealing with Reiki. And I thought you'd be training me in that instead of fighting."

Ryou blocked Charlie's strike. "Janice wants you proficient in the use of various weapons as well. When you finally do call upon your Reiki, it will take the shape of whatever is best suited for you." He dodged another strike. "A partner is somebody who you must trust completely. I trust Janice with my life, just as she trusts me with hers. When we fight, it is as one unit. I cover her weaknesses, just as she covers mine. She's saved my life numerous times." He countered a strike with one of his own that resulted in Charlie's sword flying halfway across the room. Ryou aimed his sword at Charlie's throat. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."

Charlie had no doubts about that. "I don't plan on hurting her."

Ryou lowered his sword. "And I don't plan on killing you. Don't give me a reason to." He crossed the room to retrieve Charlie's bamboo sword. "I've known for a while. About the two of you."

Charlie shifted from one foot to the other. He hadn't told anybody about him and Janice, and hadn't thought she had either. "When did she tell you?"

Ryou scoffed and tossed Charlie the sword. "She didn't have to. I could smell you on her." He readied his sword. "Do you know why I agreed to train you?"

Charlie raised his sword into a fighting stance. "Didn't you just say that it was because of a promise you made to protect Janice?" He parried Ryou's strike, not really thinking about what he was doing.

"Few people would understand what it means to dedicate one's life to fighting," Ryou said, jumping back to avoid being hit by Charlie's sword. "Sometimes those who would understand are just plain wrong for one another."

"How can they be wrong for one another?" Charlie asked, moving forward to try to strike again.

Ryou was silent for a while. He held a hand in front of him as Charlie knocked the sword out of his other hand, forcing him back with a cold burst of air. "Weapons training will only go so far. Without the use of Reiki, you're useless as a fighter." An icy chain appeared in Ryou's hand, wrapping itself around the bamboo sword Charlie held. The ice demon tugged on the chain, and the sword went flying out of Charlie's hand into Ryou's. The chain disappeared. "Even unarmed, I have a weapon with me at all times."

"So how am I supposed to figure out how to use my Reiki?" Charlie asked.

Ryou shrugged. "Meditate. Focus. Don't force it." He tossed Charlie his sword back, and then went to retrieve his own. "I agreed to train you because Janice is my partner." He readied his sword. "And that's all she ever can be."

It wasn't until after their training session was over that it occurred to Charlie that maybe Ryou might have feelings for Janice. He wasn't sure quite how he felt, knowing that somebody close to her might have unrequited feelings for her. His initial thought was that it was a bit bothersome. Although why it was bothersome was something he couldn't quite figure out.

--- --- ---

"I don't think I'll ever figure out how to use my Reiki," Charlie lamented after he'd returned home later that night. He sat slumped in his chair at the table in the kitchen, thoroughly exhausted after using one of his rare days off training with Ryou.

"Not with that attitude, you won't," Janice said as she stirred the contents of a pot on the stove. She knew Charlie hated cooking, as he was just plain bad at it. She liked to cook, which Charlie was grateful for. He had no idea what she was making, but it smelled good. "It took me a few months to figure out how to use Reiki once my sister decided to teach me. You'll get it eventually."

"Fred and George got it right away," Charlie said.

"Yes, but they weren't ordinary humans," Janice replied. "Fred came back from the dead, and George possessed a sprit awareness most people lack. Not to mention the whole 'reincarnations of demons' thing."

Charlie chuckled. "The odds aren't in my favor there, are they?"

Janice moved to stir a different pot. "I was ordinary, too. It took a lot of hard work for me to get to where I am now. There are ways to force one's Reiki to awaken, but they're dangerous."

"Since when have I shied from danger?" Charlie asked, smirking at her.

"I'm just saying," she replied in a sing-song voice. She turned off the burners, and took one of the pots over to the sink to drain. "There's not much you shy away from, is there?"

"I'm not a shy type of guy," Charlie said. "I know to exercise caution in the face of danger, but I'm not going to shy away from something just because it might be a bit dangerous. Assess the situation and figure out a course of action."

Janice smiled as the dumped the contents of the pot into a serving bowl on the counter. "Ryou told me he tried you out with different weapons later. What weapon did you feel most comfortable with?"

"A whip," Charlie said as she went to place the contents of the second pot into a different serving bowl. After a while of practicing with bamboo swords, Ryou had told Charlie to try out various weapons while the demon continued to use the wooden sword.

Janice smirked. "Really? Have you had much practice with whips before?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me that you're a masochist like your sister."

She shook her head. "The whole sadomasochism thing never really appealed to me," she said, bringing the serving bowls to the table. "I get hurt enough in the field, and I don't like the idea of hurting someone I'm supposed to care about."

He contemplated her for a bit. "So you're not kinky at all?" he asked as he reached for one of the bowls.

Janice paused. "Well, I once tied a guy up and left him there."

"Remind me not to allow you to tie me up," Charlie said.

Janice chuckled. "The guy was married, I think. He was hitting on me in some bar. I noticed that he had tan lines on his ring finger that would indicate that he usually wore a wedding band. I figured he needed to be taught a lesson, so I let him take me to his hotel room and convinced him to let me tie him up. I walked out after making sure the rope was secure enough to hold." She smirked. "I suppose it might have been just a bit evil of me to cast a silencing charm on the door so nobody could hear him call for help."

"Just a bit," Charlie agreed. He began to dish up some delicious looking rice pilaf onto his plate. "I take it you don't put up with that sort of thing."

"I don't sleep with guys who are involved with other people," Janice said, putting some pork dumplings onto her plate. "I might not go for relationships myself, but I'm not about to go around messing up someone else's."

"Understandable," Charlie agreed as he set the bowl of rice onto the table. "I've never gone after anyone I knew was involved with someone else, but sometimes it's not that easy." He didn't want to tell her about his suspicions that Ryou might have feelings for her, as that would only complicate things. For all he knew, he could be misinterpreting how Ryou felt for her.

Janice nodded. "That's why something like this suits me. It's just like a one night stand, except I don't have to worry if the man I'm sleeping with is involved with somebody."

Charlie chuckled. "Nice to know I'm just a matter of convenience to you."

Janice smirked. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You know the phrase 'it's not the size, but what you do with it'? That's a lie. Size does matter. So yes, it is incredibly convenient to know in advance that the man I'm planning on sleeping with is of more than adequate size _and _knows how to use it." She set the bowl of dumplings onto the table and took the bowl of rice.

Charlie laughed at the compliment. He knew that he was fairly large, not having needed any sort of enhancement charms to make him appear larger than he was when he posed nude for _Playwitch _years ago. His brothers Fred and George might have joked about posing for the magazine, but Charlie had actually done it. "So I take it that I'm the only man you've been with since we first started sleeping together?"

Janice nodded. "You've probably spoiled me off other men. Something that I have no doubt you intended."

Charlie smirked as he dished up some dumplings onto his plate. "If other men can't keep up with me, then I fail to see how that's my fault."

Janice took a bite of her rice. "I suppose that you didn't gain a reputation as a legendary man-whore for no reason."

"Years of practice," Charlie said, not offended in the least by her description of his reputation. It was a fairly accurate description. After all, there had been times years ago when he actually had accepted money for having sex. He took a bite of the rice. It was delicious, as her cooking usually was. Much better than the stuff they served in the mess hall, or what he cooked for himself.

"You know," Janice started, chewing her food with a thoughtful look on her face, "I never pictured you the type to sleep with someone for an extended period of time like this. Maybe for a couple of months, but not over a year."

"Maybe it's convenient for me, too," Charlie said. "I'm not as young as I used to be. The younger witches are either looking for younger guys or 'sugar daddies', and the older ones want more than just a one night stand. Being with you saves me the effort of dealing with the headache of finding someone who isn't expecting anything from me."

She raised an eyebrow. "In other words, you're just lazy," Janice said, smirking.

"Should I be out looking for other women to sleep with?" Charlie asked before eating one of his dumplings.

Janice paused for a moment. "Probably not now. I have no idea how the whole relationship thing is supposed to work, but I'm pretty sure that neither of us should be sleeping with anyone else."

Charlie contemplated his next words for a moment. As much as he hated the idea of relationships, if they were going to try to work on one, it might be a good idea to start by being honest with her. Besides, he had brought up the conversation in the first place. Even though she hadn't slept with anybody else since they'd first slept together, he had. The last time he'd slept with another woman was over seven months ago, but that didn't change the fact that he'd had a few one night stands when he'd wanted a bit of female companionship and she'd been too busy. Since they weren't in a relationship, he hadn't considered it as being unfaithful, but he wasn't sure how she would take it. "I'm not lazy," he said. "The last time was about seven months ago, but I've been with other women since the first time we slept together."

Janice rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean you're not lazy. That just means that your laziness must not be the only reason you're still sleeping with me."

Charlie blinked. Most women would have thrown a fit after hearing that he'd been sleeping with other women. "Wait, did you hear me?" he asked, needing to make sure.

She waved him off. "Yes, I heard you say you've screwed other women since you've been with me. We weren't in a relationship, so I don't care." She paused. "Unless one of them was my sister. But I don't think she'd give you a second chance, and she'd never do that to George. From what she's told me, he keeps her satisfied."

Charlie blinked again. He hadn't known that Janice knew about the one night stand he'd had with Tracy years ago, before she'd married his brother George. He'd rather not have heard that extra detail about George keeping her satisfied, but he'd heard many details he'd never wanted to know from his younger brother throughout the years. "How did you know that I was ever with her?"

"Ryou," Janice said. "He told me that you'd been with her before she got with George."

Charlie nodded dully. "Does it bother you?"

"Does what bother me? That you've been screwing other women, or that you screwed my sister, and now you're screwing me?" Janice took a bite of one of her dumplings. "I suppose it could, but it doesn't. I already knew you were an unrepentant man-whore before sleeping with you in the first place. I never expected to have more than a few shags from you before you got bored."

Charlie was extremely relieved that she wasn't upset over his past, particularly his admission that she hadn't been the only one he'd been sleeping with. Most women would not be so understanding about being with a man who had slept with a relative of theirs in the past, and especially not about being with a man who had slept with other women while with them. There were women who were forgiving like that, but most of them were the submissive doormat type that didn't interest him in the least. Janice was different. She seemed to share a similar sort of casual attitude as him, taking things mostly in stride. She was strong, letting people know when she didn't agree with them. Janice was many things, but a doormat was not one of them. She was someone he could respect and even admire. With all the high-strung, high-maintenance women out there, she was a rarity. He could understand why Ryou might have feelings for her.

"You know, I have a theory about why you're still with me," she said.

"Oh? What's your theory?" Charlie asked.

Janice smiled. "I think you broke the rule."

"What rule?" Charlie asked.

Her smile widened into an impish grin. "I think you broke the rule about not getting emotionally involved." She took a bite of her rice. "That's why you want to work on a real relationship."

Charlie looked at her, his mind racing. He'd never thought of what they were doing as anything more than just sex, but he'd never stopped to really think about it before. It was just something they did. Neither of them had been interested in actual relationships, so he'd never thought about putting any sort of emotional investment into what they had. He didn't think he was in love with her or anything, as he simply was not the type to fall in love with anyone. Still, he couldn't deny that he felt a connection with her that he often found lacking with other women he'd been with. Maybe she was right.

"That's all right, though," Janice said, breaking the silence. "I think that maybe I've been ignoring that rule just a bit as well."

Charlie nodded mutely. "Shall we toss the rules out the window?" he asked. He still thought that relationships were far more trouble than they were worth, but under the present circumstances, knew they needed to work something out.

"I'm pretty sure that the rules were thrown out the moment that potion turned that disgusting color of red," Janice said.

He smiled slightly. "Possibly." He took a bite of his rice. He'd rather not think confusing thoughts about feelings. "Looking on the bright side, at least there's no worries of you getting pregnant now." He grinned widely as Janice glared at him. "What do you know about the different ways of having sex?"

"I know there are certain orifices that are not mean to have overly large sex organs stuck inside them," Janice said flatly. "So don't even ask."

He chuckled. "I don't mean _that_. I mean like the difference between just plain fucking and having a night of passion. You know. Different ways."

Janice paused, and then shook her head. "I never knew there was a difference."

Charlie smirked. "You didn't know the difference between boys and men until I taught you, remember? Maybe I should teach you the difference."

Janice paused, and then smiled. "I think I'd like that."


	29. 03 The Substitute

**Chapter 3**: The Substitute  
[_The Second Half of October 2011_]

--- --- ---

Charlie wasn't so sure that he was ready to face his first demon. It had been two weeks since he learned he was going to be a father and asked to be trained in earnest. He still hadn't figured out how to use his Reiki, although Janice assured him that he should be able to handle the low-level demon she'd been called in to deal with.

"So you're sure this Kyarl bloke's not that powerful?" Charlie asked Ryou as they walked through the streets of London towards where the feris demon supposedly lived. He still wasn't sure how to act around Ryou, who he suspected of having feelings for Janice. He hadn't been sure how to act around him before, but that just added an extra layer of uncertainty.

"I've played poker with him," Ryou said, glaring at a passerby who bumped into him. "Kyarl's a cowardly ponce who's about as powerful as a twelve year old."

"A twelve year old what?" Charlie asked.

Ryou smirked. "You catch on quick. What has Janice told you about fighting demons?"

"It's dangerous," Charlie said. "She also said that it's better for fighters to be trained from a young age. Something about it being easier to teach a person how to use Reiki when they're young."

Ryou stopped in front of a dilapidated looking apartment complex. "The spirit energy of children is more active than that of adults. Children can often see things adults cannot, like demons in their true form. As they grow older, their spirit energy diminishes along with their belief in monsters hiding in closets or under the bed." He scanned a dust-covered list of names on the wall by the door.

"So Hob was real?" Charlie asked as the demon tried to read the names through the dust. "He was a monster that lived under my bed until I was about seven or so. He used to get me in trouble by nicking cookies and other goodies from the kitchen in the middle of the night. He'd always share, but mum would still blame me for it. He was cool." Seeing that Ryou has having difficulty reading the names through the dust, Charlie went up to the list and blew some of the dust off it.

Ryou sneezed, and then turned to glare at Charlie. "I was trying to avoid doing that," the ice demon said flatly after taking on his female form.

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck apologetically. "Sorry. I was trying to help."

"If I need help, I'll ask for it," Ryou said coldly. "Apartment 31-C."

Charlie followed her inside the decrepit building. He had heard about the curse on Ryou, but had never seen it in action before. It was a bit disconcerting to see somebody spontaneously change gender right before his eyes. He was half tempted to ask how weird the sensation of male bits turning into female bits was, but didn't think it was worth losing any of his own bits. Janice warned him that Ryou could be rather… cranky.

They climbed the staircase. As they walked along the hallway, something in the pocket of Ryou's leather duster began to play something that sounded suspiciously like Aerosmith's 'Dude Looks Like a Lady'.

"I am going to kill her for changing my ringtone _again_," she muttered as she pulled a mobile phone out of her pocket. "What?" she asked gruffly into it.

Charlie decided to continue on down the hallway as Ryou spoke to whoever was on the other end. He hadn't gotten very far before Ryou grabbed the back of his shirt, keeping him from going too far on his own.

Ryou shook her head at Charlie as she spoke into the phone. "What do you mean, 'where are we'? Where the hell are you?"

Charlie tilted his head in curiosity, wondering just who she was talking to. He also was vaguely curious as to where the scent of marijuana was coming from, but not curious enough to find out.

Ryou scowled. "Why the hell did you tell me he lived here, then?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. It sounded like the demon they were after wasn't in the apartment complex after all.

"Just stay where you are," the ice demon said wearily. "I doubt your glorified fuck buddy here would appreciate you fighting-- I'll call him whatever I want!"

Charlie turned to Ryou sharply. "Is that Janice on the other line?"

Ryou waved him off as she continued to argue over the phone. After a short argument laced with plenty of swearing, the demon closed the phone and shoved it back into her pocket. "We're in the wrong place," she said, turning to head back down the staircase.

Charlie followed her downstairs. "Is Janice fighting the demon?"

"No, but she knows where he is," Ryou said. "She had the fool notion that she'd take off on her own and track him."

Charlie frowned. He really didn't like the idea of Janice fighting. True, she knew what she was doing, but he remembered how she'd been in the hospital a year ago after being skewered by a sword. He'd seen the scars on her body. The danger of what she did never really sank in until discovering she was pregnant with his child. He might not have ever wanted children of his own, but he was going to at least make sure that his child had the chance to be born.

Fifteen minutes later, they met up with Janice in front of an even more ramshackle apartment complex. There was graffiti all over the side of the building, and a few of the windows were boarded up.

"This place looks like it should be condemned," Charlie commented. He moved over to Janice. "You should head back. It probably isn't a good idea for you to be fighting."

She rolled her eyes. "This guy is just a nuisance."

"So why were you sent after him?" Charlie asked.

She smiled. "Because the Underworld doesn't like demons selling mind altering substances from the demon plane to humans."

"He's been selling to demons for the past five years," Ryou said. "You remember facing that cibilis demon about three years ago, right? How doped up he was?"

Janice nodded. "I remember you had to lock me up for a couple weeks after he injected some strange substance into me. I was still seeing things in my peripheral vision for about a month after you let me go." She turned to Charlie. "Don't let this guy inject you with anything, and don't take anything from him. Hallucinogens from the demon plane are powerful, and last for a long time in the human bloodstream."

Charlie nodded. "I'll take your word for it." He wasn't all too surprised that demons had their own kinds of drugs, as he knew that wizards and Muggles both had their own as well. He knew that Fred and George had pulled Fainting Fancies off the market after it became a fad to mix them with a basic revitalizing potion to create a high. He also knew that there were kids who grew marijuana plants in the greenhouses at Hogwarts, as he himself had been guilty of doing such a thing when he was a student there. Although if anybody had noticed how the prefects' bathroom smelled suspiciously like someone had been smoking pot in there, nobody ever said anything.

Charlie followed them inside, not sure what to expect. He couldn't help but notice there was more graffiti on the walls inside. Walking down the hall, they passed a couple of people sitting in the hallway, passing a needle between them, as well as a man who was passed out and reeked of alcohol. The hallway stank of a mixture of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and urine. He couldn't imagine why anyone would want to live there.

Charlie stayed close to Janice as Ryou knocked on the door to Kyarl's flat. As much as he didn't like the idea of her engaging in dangerous behavior like fighting while she was pregnant with his child, he was a bit glad she was there, if only so he had a bit of backup. The plan was to let Charlie do most of the work, with Ryou supervising. It was a lot like how trainee dragon keepers would first work in the field with dragons. Their trainer would let them do most of the work, but would remain there to supervise and provide backup if needed.

That was something Charlie could relate to. He might be a senior dragon keeper now, training the new recruits, but knowing that it wasn't that different put his mind at ease.

The door opened slightly. Through the crack in the door, a man looked out into the hallway. As he saw Charlie and Janice, he quickly closed the door again. "I'm not home," he said.

"Kick the door down," Ryou snarled.

Charlie presumed that Ryou was telling him to do it. He was supposed to do most of the work, after all. Instead of kicking it down, he waved his wand to unlock the door and force it open. It had the same result, so he saw little difference.

They forced their way inside the apartment, where the man was trying to open a window to crawl out of. With another wave of his wand, the window slammed shut again, sealing itself closed. The man turned to them. He was a man of slight build, looking to be a decade or two older than Charlie. He looked like he hadn't shaven or changed his clothes in days. He ran a hand through his graying hair.

"Look, Ryou. I know why you're here, and let me just say it was an honest mistake," the man said, skittishly looking around as if looking for a way to escape.

"Save it, Kyarl," Ryou said, glaring. "You obviously don't know why I'm here. You've been peddling Arillis to humans."

"No, I haven't," the man protested.

The man didn't look the least bit demonic to Charlie. He turned to Janice. "This is the guy? He looks human," he said.

Janice glanced to him, and then took a vial of some sort of potion out of her pocket. "Drink this," she said, handing him the vial.

Charlie glanced at the vial briefly. He normally knew better than to drink unknown potions randomly handed to him, as that was how many manufactured wizard drugs were often packaged, but trusted her. He removed the stopper, and downed the potion.

He felt a strange sense of vertigo as his surroundings seemed to change. The flat no longer looked as run down as it had. He could see jars of unknown substances on the tables, as well as strange looking plants he was sure were not earthly in origin. The man no longer appeared to be a man, but had cat ears as well as a tail. Brown stripes lined the man's skin, and it appeared as though he had whiskers that stuck out of his cheeks like a cat's. The dirty nails of his fingers resembled claws more than nails. Was he seeing things the way they really were, or was this some sort of hallucinogen at work?

Kyarl -- as he presumed that's who the beast-man was -- hissed at Ryou and tried to make a break for the door.

"Don't let him get away," Janice said, folding her arms across her chest.

Charlie was closest to the door. He blocked Kyarl's path, tackling him to the floor. The demon didn't seem to be all that strong, and there had been times when Charlie had to tackle young dragons. It wasn't much different, except for the demon lacked the ability to breathe fire.

Kyarl snarled and hissed, trying to slash his claws at Charlie. Janice had previously given Charlie the Spirit Cuffs that would send the demon straight to Underworld prison. Pinning the demon to the ground, Charlie tried to reach into his back pocket where he had put them.

With another snarl, Kyarl lashed out against the arm Charlie was pinning him with. Charlie grimaced in pain as his arm was slashed. It wasn't as bad as being slashed by a dragon's claws, but it still hurt. He refused to let his arm buckle, though, and reached behind him to grab the spectral handcuffs.

He grabbed Kyarl's wrist with his bloodied arm, ignoring the pain. He slapped one of the cuffs onto the demon's wrist. As he did so, the demon kicked out from under him with a sudden burst of strength, forcing Charlie off him.

Still holding the other end of the cuffs, Charlie pulled back, effectively dislocating the demon's shoulder. He ignored the demon's yowl of pain as he grabbed the demon's other arm and slapped the other end of the Spirit Cuffs on that wrist.

The Spirit Cuffs seemed to glow, and Kyarl was surrounded by a soft white light before disappearing. The cuffs fell back to the floor.

Janice quirked an eyebrow. "That was the first demon you ever faced?"

Charlie nodded, casting a quick disinfecting charm on his injured arm. The claws hadn't dug too deep, although they were more than mere scratches. There was the potential of scarring if the wound wasn't disinfected before healing. If the claw marks had gone any deeper, they would leave behind a scar. Having faced as many injuries as he had in his twenty-some years working as a dragon keeper, Charlie knew what sorts of injuries left scars and which did not. "Not much different than wrangling a youngling. I'm guessing that the rest won't be that easy, though."

Janice smiled and walked over to him. He noticed that she seemed to radiate a soft yellow light, just as Charlie was radiating a soft reddish light. The light she emitted seemed to be calmer than his, which was flickering chaotically. She held a hand over his injury. Some of the soft light surrounding her flowed into his injury from the palm of her hand, and Charlie's arm began to feel pleasantly warm. The bleeding stopped as the wound partially knitted itself closed. "Reiki can be used as more than a means of attack," she said. "I'm not all that good at healing anyone except myself, though. It shouldn't scar, though."

"I was thinking the same thing," Charlie said, smiling back at her. He supposed that he could probably leave his injury alone, as it was no longer bleeding, and should air out on its own for more effective healing. "What was that potion you gave me?"

"It's something my sister concocted a while ago," Janice said. "It basically lets an ordinary human see things they normally wouldn't be able to see, like a demon's true form or a person's aura. It only lasts for about an hour or so, but it's useful if you need to see something that you normally wouldn't be able to. Prolonged use will actually help your own natural awareness develop. I don't need it any more."

Ryou scoffed and froze the contents of one of the jars. "You should let him develop his skills naturally."

Charlie glanced to the ice demon. He hadn't noticed it before, but the skin around Ryou's eyes and on her forehead appeared to be almost blue, contrasting with unnaturally white looking skin. Her eyes were a bright blue, which Charlie found to be rather strange. He had thought that Ryou's eyes were a silvery shade of gray. He wondered if he was seeing Ryou as the ice demon truly was.

"You look different," Charlie said.

Ryou frowned, turning to Janice. "How strong a dose did you give him?"

"He's not replacing me," Janice said. "He needs to be brought up to speed as quickly as possible."

Ryou just looked at her for a few moments before scoffing and turning away. "Do whatever you want." She walked past them to the door, not saying anything as she left.

Charlie glanced to Janice. "What was that all about?"

She shrugged. "Who knows? I'm not as proficient in translating Ryou-speak to English as my sister is." She glanced around the room. "Now we get to play a fun game of smashing stuff."

Charlie looked around at the various jars and plants. "I suppose an ordinary human can't see these?"

"They're from the demon plane," she replied, turning to him. "Don't think things will be this easy. They're not."

Charlie smiled. He had no doubts about that. "Let's smash stuff up."

--- --- ---

A week later, they found themselves at the triplets' sixth birthday party. Janice insisted that they arrive separately, as she wasn't ready to let anybody know that they were together just yet. Charlie partially agreed with her about that, as he knew that once his family found out about his involvement with her that the fallout wouldn't be pretty. _Especially _as far as his mother was concerned.

They wouldn't be able to hide Janice's pregnancy for long, though. As he arrived to his nephews' party, he overheard George tactlessly asking her if she'd gained weight before they'd gone outside. Charlie hadn't really noticed it before, but that was probably due to seeing her every day and not really noticing how her body had changed gradually. Pointed out like that, though, Charlie could see that she had the beginnings of a small baby bump, and hoped that nobody else noticed or asked her about it. He just wanted to get through the day without incident.

"Uncle Charlie!" one of the triplets greeted, running up to him. "Join us in destroying Tokyo!"

Charlie smiled at his nephew. "And why are we destroying Tokyo?"

"Because we're monsters, and that's what we do!" Another one of the triplets said.

"Rawr!" the third boy said.

Charlie chuckled. "And just where is this 'Tokyo' that we'll be destroying?"

"It's in Paige's room!" the first triplet exclaimed.

"Really? I don't think your sister would appreciate you destroying anything in her room," Charlie said.

"Boys," Tracy said to them as she approached. "Why don't you go out and play in the backyard? I think that your uncles Bill and Ron made a replica of Tokyo for you to destroy."

"Take no prisoners!" one of the triplets shouted, raising a fist into the air.

"Stomp on everything that moves!" another one of the rambunctious boys said.

"The villagers will weep at the conflagration that destroys their puny town!" the third chimed in.

"What's a conflagration?" the second one asked before they went outside.

Tracy sighed and shook her head before turning to Charlie. "I suppose you should count yourself lucky to merely play the role of 'uncle' as opposed to 'father'," she said.

Charlie chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I suppose so. Do they need any help in the backyard?" he asked, trying to think of a way to escape politely. There was something in the tone of her voice that indicated that she knew something she wasn't letting on.

"They'll be fine," Tracy said politely. "I actually wanted to ask you a few things." She gestured to the couch. "Sit down." The way she said it made it sound more like she wasn't giving him a choice in the matter.

Charlie sat down on the couch. He wished that he hadn't been one of the last people to arrive, or that everybody else hadn't disappeared into the backyard. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Whose child is my sister pregnant with?" Tracy asked, her voice low to avoid being overheard.

Charlie's eyes widened, and his throat went dry. "Er, what makes you think I would know something like that?"

"You arrived minutes within one another, yet your scents are all over one another," Tracy said, sitting down on the couch next to him. "I noticed that you looked a bit panicked when George asked her if she'd gained weight. I'm currently on my seventh pregnancy. I can see that she hasn't merely gained weight, but is with child. For a while now, I've suspected that the two of you had some sort of involvement with one another. So perhaps I should rephrase my question. Is my sister pregnant with _your _child?"

Charlie never thought of himself as someone who could easily be rendered speechless. But as he was directly confronted with such a blunt question, he found that words completely eluded him at the moment. All he found himself able to do was nod once before lowering his head.

Tracy sighed heavily. "I hope you realize just what you're getting into. I won't ask what possessed you to involve yourself with her, and I'm certain that Ryou will make plenty of threats regarding your treatment of her. There's not much I can really add." She stood up. "I take it that neither of you wish for anyone else to know at the moment."

Charlie looked up at her. "You won't tell anyone, will you? We're still trying to figure out how to break the news to everyone."

Tracy gave him a scrutinizing look. "I'll let the two of you decide how to break the news. How far along is she?"

Charlie did a quick mental calculation. "About twelve weeks."

"I'd recommend breaking the news as soon as possible," Tracy said. "Baggy clothes can only go so far, and look suspicious on someone who rarely wears such things. I won't say anything, but I won't lie for you if anyone asks."

Charlie nodded and stood. He supposed that was the best he could ask for at the moment. "How did you know she was pregnant?"

"A few weeks ago, she asked me a few things about what made me suspect I was pregnant, and what sort of symptoms I might have gone through," Tracy said. "At the time I thought little of it, but in retrospect I believe she suspected she might be pregnant. And she does have a slight bump to her stomach."

"So you just suspected?" Charlie asked.

"I can also sense the spirit energy of the growing life within her if I concentrate," Tracy said. "After George asked her about her weight, I did just that."

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Charlie said.

"Obviously," Tracy said as she walked off toward the kitchen.

Charlie watched his sister-in-law retreat into the kitchen before turning to the back door. He needed to let Janice know that her sister was aware that they were involved and expecting a child. On the bright side, at least Tracy hadn't threatened him like Ryou did.

--- --- ---

"I suppose there's no use pretending this isn't happening," Janice said as she stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. She had lifted her shirt and was looking sideways at her reflection. "Why couldn't it be something as simple as gaining weight?"

Charlie shrugged, not knowing what to say. He stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, watching her as she tried to determine for herself just how noticeable she was. They had survived the triplets' birthday party, for which he was extremely grateful for. Sure, Tracy knew of Janice's pregnancy, and he received a questioning look from Fred, but nobody aside from them seemed to suspect anything. Well, as far as he knew nobody else suspected. Hermione had pulled Janice aside at some point, but that could have had something to do with Janice's actual job working in the Ministry. That's what Charlie tried to tell himself, at least.

"Nothing in life is ever simple," Charlie said. He leaned against the door frame. "This is really happening, isn't it?" Even though he had told Janice there was no use pretending that nothing was happening, he couldn't help but feel that other people knowing just made things seem more real.

It didn't help that Janice's baby bump was pointed out. If there was no physical indication, it could be viewed as some sort of weird dream. Yet there she stood, her shirt lifted up partially, a slight bump to her stomach showing where his child was growing inside her.

"I really am showing," Janice said, glaring at her reflection. She let her shirt fall back down. "So much for pretending this isn't happening." She turned to him. "Did you know Hermione asked me if I was pregnant?"

Somehow, that didn't surprise Charlie too much. Hermione always had been rather observant. "What did you tell her?"

Janice kneeled down on the floor in front of the mirror. "There wasn't any point in denying it. She's my boss." She looked up at him. "I didn't tell her you were the father."

Charlie nodded and walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her. "She'll figure it out sometime. We really do need to break the news to everyone soon." He looked at the front of her shirt, where he could see the bump on her stomach. "Telling my parents will be the worst. I know my mum will have kittens when she finds out we're not going to get married." He smiled slightly. "Maybe I shouldn't bother hiding my tattoos when I tell her. Try to deflect some of the attention."

"Yes, deflect some of the attention from yourself onto yourself," Janice said, smiling.

Charlie chuckled. "Well, instead of yelling at me for even thinking of having a child out of wedlock, she can yell at me about the tattoos."

"I think she's far more likely to yell at you about having a child out of wedlock than she is about a few tattoos," Janice said.

"What if I also colored my hair some strange color and wore my piercings?" Charlie mused out loud. "I could even conveniently leave my shirt open."

He normally would cast a concealing charm on his tattoos and take out the piercings he had when visiting his family. Both of his ears were pierced, and he had an eyebrow piercing as well. He also had his nipples pierced, bringing the grand total of piercings he had to five. Back in his sixth year of Hogwarts, he had a friend who knew all about body piercing. She agreed to pierce his nipples when they should have been in Transfiguration. He felt that it was worth the detentions they received for skiving off class, as she had accepted a quick shag as payment for piercing him. Sometimes he wondered if there was any girl that had been in his year at Hogwarts that he _hadn't _shagged by the time he finished school. He had certainly deflowered his fair share of girls during his tenure there.

"I really don't think trying to shock your mother will deter her from yelling at you about having a child out of wedlock," Janice said, smiling. "Although I would love to see her reaction if you were to just show up one day showing off your tattoos and piercings."

Charlie chuckled, and leaned forward to wrap his arms around her. He let himself lean back against the wall, bringing her partially on top of him. "So what do you think would be sufficiently distracting?"

Janice paused in thought. "Tell her while covered in demon guts. She never did like the idea of her children out there fighting demons. I'm not even her child, and she doesn't like the idea of me fighting demons."

Charlie was silent for a few moments as he was once again reminded of the link they had through their families. Like Harry and Hermione, Janice had been unofficially 'adopted' by the Weasley family when she was younger. He knew that she would go to the Burrow sometimes over the winter or summer holidays when she was still attending Hogwarts. Even after she bluntly told him not to think of her as family, it was hard to ignore that she was viewed as a member of the family by most of his family.

"She views you as another daughter," Charlie said after a long silence. "I know you don't think of us as family, but the rest of my family does."

Janice was silent for a few moments. "We're going to have to tell them, aren't we?"

He nodded. "Tracy knows you're pregnant with my child, Hermione knows you're pregnant but not whose child you're having, and I think Fred suspects something… I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have everyone figure it out on their own."

Janice closed her eyes as he held her in his arms. "This is really happening, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," he said.

Janice was silent for a while. "Damn."

--- --- ---

Charlie glared up from where he was sprawled on the ground at the demon he was fighting. Not having figured out how to use Reiki yet, he knew he was at a massive disadvantage. Then again, the demon he was facing wasn't a real demon, so maybe he didn't have that much of a disadvantage. He hadn't even taken the potion that would let him see demons' true forms.

"I hate Halloween," Ryou griped as he slammed his fist across the demon's face.

Their true target was a demon who had been selling Halloween costumes in a small shop. Unfortunately, the costumes sold there had some sort of strange spell on them that would turn the wearer into whatever it was they were wearing the costume of. Charlie had encountered far too many vampires, pirates, and witches with green skin to count, but it was those affected by demon costumes that were the worst. The pseudo-demons were all looking to pick fights, and ignoring them wasn't a very good option. Luckily, they'd discovered that knocking them unconscious caused them to revert back to their original costumed selves. Mercifully, none of them seemed to remember just what had happened when they woke up.

"This reminds me of an episode of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_," Charlie said as he got up. Janice had made him watch the entire series as part of his training. He remember afterwards getting into an amusing debate with her over what the best season was. He still contended that while the fourth season had the weakest storyline overall, episode for episode, it was superior to the rest.

He hit the demon in the back of the head with a police baton he'd commandeered from a costumed police officer earlier in the evening. The demon hit the ground, unconscious. "I'm so glad I didn't wear a costume."

Ryou raised an eyebrow. "You don't need one. You look ridiculous enough as it is."

Charlie chose to ignore that. He supposed that what he was wearing could be considered a 'costume', as he was wearing what he normally wore while working at the dragon reservation. He hadn't had time to change out of his work clothes before Janice told him that she'd received an assignment to deal with a demon named Vallum, who Fred and George had arrested years ago. He had been one of the few demons to escape execution when King Enma reigned over the Underworld, having escaped back to the human realm not long after he had been transported to the Underworld. Vallum was apparently back to his old ways of devising strange tricks and using humans as guinea pigs.

"Any idea where this Vallum guy might be?" Charlie asked.

Ryou frowned. "He better hope that we don't find him, otherwise he'll find himself missing his other eye," he grumbled.

Charlie didn't think he wanted to know. "Well, aside from what he might or might not want, do you think he's still at his shop?"

"I doubt it," Ryou said as they resumed their trek through London. "If he's smart, he's jumped town already. He has to know that something like this will attract the attention of the Underworld." He muttered something under his breath.

Thankfully, not every costumed trick or treater they encountered had purchased a costume from Vallum's shop. Charlie was more than a bit grateful for that, as he'd rather not deal with a swarm of fairies, princesses, superheroes, or anything else of the sort. As it was, he had dealt with far too much already.

Up ahead, he heard a few screams of plain trick or treaters. Charlie groaned, as that meant another fight. Sure enough, he heard a roar down the street. The darkening night was interrupted by what appeared to be the glow of fire that mercifully faded away before long.

"Let's check it out," Charlie said, already breaking into a run.

He didn't have to go very far before he saw a trio of small child-sized lizard monsters, roaring and shooting streams of fire around randomly. Further down the street, he could see his brother George running towards them, followed by a small ninja and a girl who looked like she came out of a role playing video game. Charlie supposed that George's children -- or the triplets at least -- had purchased costumes from Vallum's costume shop.

"I really hate Halloween," Ryou said as he held out a hand to impede the monstrous triplets' movements. Ice encased their legs up to their knees, holding them in place.

"What are you doing here?" George asked breathlessly as he approached them.

"Trying to deal with all the chaos," Charlie said, not wanting to knock his nephews unconscious, but knowing something had to be done. He quickly cast a shield charm before he could be hit with a stream of flames. "Some demon named Valium--"

"Vallum," Ryou corrected.

"What he said. This demon's been selling costumes that turn the wearer into what they're wearing," Charlie explained. "We've been doing damage control while trying to find him."

George blinked. "Er, that would explain why Ryou's here, but why are you here? Where's Janice?"

Charlie dodged a stream of fire let loose by one of his angry nephews, who seemed set on going on a rampage. "I'm substituting for her." He glanced to his niece Paige, who was dressed as some video game character and making strange gestures while chanting something. "Er…"

George turned to her. "_Silencio_," he cast, muting her. He looked around. "Where did Jack go?" The ninja boy was nowhere to be seen. George frowned. "Dammit. Tracy's going to kill me…"

"If you knock them unconscious, the midgets will return to normal," Ryou said. He raised an eyebrow as Paige reached behind her and pulled out a flail from thin air. "You might want to start with her."

George made a frustrated sound. "_Supefy_!" he cast on his daughter before turning to his sons, casting the spell three more times. "Why are you substituting for Janice?" He asked Charlie, who wished that he had thought of Stunning the monsters they'd encountered. "I didn't know the two of you really knew one another all that well."

Charlie shrugged. He didn't know what to say. He knew that he should probably tell George the truth that he got Janice pregnant, and was substituting for her because somebody had to, but he didn't think that was the best time to do it. Especially since what appeared to be ninja throwing stars appeared in a nearby tree.

George frowned. "Dammit," he muttered as he ran in the direction that the throwing stars came from.

Charlie sighed and turned to his unconscious niece and nephews. No longer did they resemble the characters they were costumed as, but they looked like themselves wearing Halloween costumes.

"He doesn't know," Ryou stated, folding his arms across his chest.

Charlie froze. "I haven't had the time to tell my family yet." He turned to the ice demon. "You won't tell him, will you?"

"It's none of my business," Ryou said. "I won't tell him you're the father, but if he asks, I will inform him that Janice is pregnant."

"You did gross things with Aunt Janice?" Charlie's nephew Jack asked, giving him a curious look.

Charlie looked down at him, startled that the boy had snuck back to the group. Seeing him more clearly, though, he could see that his costume wasn't one of Vallum's. "Er, gross things?"

Jack nodded. "Uncle Fred and Aunt Hermione told me that when two people do gross things like in dad's videos, sometimes one of them will get pregnant. I asked my dad about it later, because he and mum do gross things all the time, but he said that it wasn't gross at all." He made a face. "He said sometimes when a man and woman get naked together and do gross things, the woman can get pregnant. So does that mean that you've done gross things with Aunt Janice?"

Charlie shifted from one foot to the other nervously. How was he to explain the situation to a child? He knew that Jack wasn't stupid; he was rather astute for an eight-year-old. "Er… Where were you?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

Jack gestured to the tree that had ninja throwing stars embedded in its trunk. "I was taking a leak behind the tree. Apparently one of the real ninja out there found me." He shrugged. "So if Aunt Janice is pregnant, and you're the father, does that mean you've done gross things with her? Or is there some other way that a woman can get pregnant?"

Charlie looked to Ryou for help, but the look of amusement on the ice demon's face made it clear he would get no help from him. He sighed and turned back to Jack. "Look, I'd appreciate it if you don't mention any of this to your father--"

"Mention what to me?" George asked as he returned. "And where were you, Jack? You know that you're not supposed to leave my sight!"

"I had to take a leak!" the eight-year-old protested. "And I was asking Uncle Charlie if there was some other way Aunt Janice could get pregnant, or if she and Uncle Charlie had to do gross things for her to get pregnant."

Charlie took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "That's why I'm her substitute," he said in a low tone.

George blinked, turning to look from his son to his brother. "Janice is pregnant?"

Charlie nodded. There was no point in lying. "We've been sleeping together for a little over a year now."

George just looked at him for a few seconds before speaking. "Let me get this straight. You've been sleeping with the kid sister of my wife, and now she's _pregnant_? What the hell is wrong with you?! Isn't it enough that you had to sleep with my wife, but you had to sleep with her sister as well?"

Charlie took in a deep breath, opening his eyes. "What happened with Tracy was a one night stand that happened years ago. And I know it sounds strange--"

"Damn right it sounds strange!" George exclaimed. "I used to _babysit _her! _You _used to babysit her!"

Charlie could have pointed out that Janice never needed a babysitter, and that he had never actually done any babysitting in regards to her, but figured it wasn't worth pointing out at the moment.

"Dad!" Jack tugged on George's shirt. "Don't just ignore me!"

George looked down at his son and sighed. "I'm sorry, Jack. And yes, for her to be pregnant, that means Aunt Janice had to do gross things with Uncle Charlie. There isn't any way that she could be pregnant with his child otherwise." He glared at his brother. "There are certain lines you don't cross with certain people, and this is one of them! Janice is not like the slags you're used to sleeping around with! She's family, Charlie! She's your sister-in-law!"

Charlie nodded, trying to placate his brother, but at the same time trying to defend his situation. "I know all that! Do you honestly think it hasn't crossed my mind from time to time? Or hers?"

George narrowed his eyes at him. "I know that you can't help yourself from screwing anyone who'll hold still for more than two seconds, but how could you just take advantage of her like that?"

"I never took advantage of her!" Charlie bristled. "She's a grown woman capable of making her own decisions!"

Before George could counter, Ryou cleared his throat. "Perhaps you ought to concern yourself more with waking your bratlings up and getting them to safety rather than arguing over things that can't be changed."

George turned to the demon briefly before aiming his wand at the triplets and his daughter Paige. "_Ennervate_," he cast before turning back to Charlie, giving him a look that plainly stated their discussion wasn't over.

"Babies are smelly," Jack said sagely to Charlie. "All my brother Riley does is cry and poop."

George rolled his eyes. "Your brother does more than that."

Jack folded his arms across his chest. "He also gets to sleep whenever he wants, and doesn't even get yelled at if he throws his food around. If I did that, I'd get yelled at."

"He doesn't know any better," George said as he tended to his children that were regaining consciousness. "He's just a baby. You, on the other hand, are eight years old."

Paige groaned. "I should have leveled up more," she muttered as she rubbed her head. "Did anybody see where the last save point was?"

Charlie shot his niece an odd look. "Er, will she be alright?"

George nodded. "She always talks like that. It's just a phase. I hope."

"What happened?" one of the triplets asked.

"Where's our candy?" another one chimed in.

"Why's Uncle Charlie and Auntie Ryou here?" the third asked.

"I am not your aunt!" Ryou shouted. Charlie held him back as he started swearing profusely about midgets.

George tried to bite back a laugh. "Luke, Ryou is male. Most of the time. And he's not related to any of you, so would not be referred to as an 'aunt' or 'uncle'."

Luke tilted his head. "But mum said that we should refer to him as 'Auntie Ryou'," he said with all the seriousness a six-year-old could muster.

Charlie continued to block Ryou from going on a rampage. "Your mother always has been a bit odd."

"Guess what!" Jack turned to his siblings. "Uncle Charlie did gross things with Aunt Janice, and now she's pregnant!"

Charlie put a palm to his forehead. This was not turning out how he imagined at all. He would really need to tell the rest of his family soon. First, he would have to explain to Janice that George and his kids knew.

Paige raised an eyebrow. "So what? Chloe wrote to me and told me about how she and some boy named Logan did some experimenting with gross things--"

George turned sharply to her. "What did you just say?!"

Paige shrugged. "They were doing things like seeing just what would happen if one were to swallow live frog spawn, and seeing who could projectile vomit the furthest, and--"

"So she's not having sex with this Logan boy?" George asked.

Paige shook her head. "I don't think so," she said, making a face. "She's only twelve, dad."

George let out an audible sigh of relief. "Thank Merlin," he muttered.

Adam looked over to his father. "Dad, what's 'sex'?"

"It's the number that comes after five," Dylan said, rolling his eyes.

"Nuh-uh," Luke said. "That's 'six', you retard. Sex is the instrument jazz players play."

"Don't call your brother a retard," George chided. "And I think you mean a 'sax' is what jazz players play."

Charlie shook his head and turned to Ryou. "Shall we get out of here?"

Ryou paused in his mutterings about rude midgets and something about someone named Kuroi who apparently could go to hell. "Once more, I hate Halloween," he said as he began to walk off.

Charlie nodded sympathetically as he snuck away from where George was explaining to his children about the facts of life. He felt a bit sorry for his brother, but not sorry enough to bother helping. He chuckled to himself as George was shocked into silence by Paige asking what a 'blow job' was, because apparently a classmate of Chloe's had given a boy one behind the greenhouses one day.

"There's some more up ahead," Ryou said, gesturing further down the street where a couple of small child-sized demons seemed to be fighting each other.

Charlie sighed. It was going to be a long night.


	30. 04 Family Business

**Chapter 4**: Family Business  
[_November 2011_]

--- --- ---

Charlie did not blame Janice for being upset with him. If he were in her position, he'd probably be rather upset as well.

Charlie and Ryou had made it to Vallum's hideout to discover that the demon had skipped town. They had found a way to break the spell on the costumes, and then went to the Ogre's Lair for drinks. Charlie had never been to a demon bar before, and had been rather surprised that he could see demons in their true forms while there. After a few rounds of karaoke and several rounds of drinks, Charlie had somehow made his way to the Leaky Cauldron for a couple more drinks and to Floo back to the lodge.

So no, he couldn't blame Janice for being upset. Not only had the demon gotten away -- something she said rarely ever happened on her watch -- but he had expelled the contents of his stomach on the living room floor once he'd made it home. He had forgotten how nauseating traveling by Floo was, but hadn't been in any condition to Apparate.

Since George and his kids knew of Janice's pregnancy, Charlie decided it was best to start telling his family before they had the chance to figure things out on their own. Or worse, before someone else told them first. He had no doubt that George would probably tell Fred about Janice's pregnancy, and Fred already had his suspicions that Charlie was still involved with Janice. Fred knew that they had slept together at least once. No matter who knew or told, though, it was better for Charlie to just come clean and tell everyone of Janice's pregnancy and his impending fatherhood.

He was extremely apprehensive as he approached the Burrow, his childhood home. While the entire clan had an open invitation for Sunday dinner, various commitments usually meant that not everyone could make it. Charlie's work schedule usually prevented him from attending any more than once every few months. He preferred to schedule days off for holidays or birthday parties when he knew most of his family would be in attendance. Still, his mother would cook a feast and send leftovers out to those in need of a good home-cooked meal.

"This is all your fault," Janice muttered sullenly as he knocked on the door out of politeness. She stood a few feet behind him, her arms folded across her chest. It had taken a lot of convincing to get her to agree to join him in telling his parents about her pregnancy.

It had been one week since the triplets' sixth birthday party, and six days since Halloween. Janice had mercifully calmed down a bit since then. Well, she was speaking to him again, at least. Charlie wasn't quite sure what she was most upset over: Vallum getting away, Charlie having gone to a demon bar afterwards, or George knowing about her pregnancy.

"Charlie!" his mother greeted him with a hug as she opened the door to let him inside. "You hardly ever come around to the family dinners anymore. And Janice is here, too! Come inside, both of you!"

Charlie glanced nervously at Janice, who shot him a sidelong glare. He knew she wasn't pleased that they had to tell the family about her pregnancy this soon. Then again, she was almost thirteen weeks along now, and they'd dragged their feet about telling anyone for almost a month. With Tracy and George (and their kids) knowing, there was little reason to delay the inevitable.

"So what brings the two of you here together?" his mother asked as she led them toward the kitchen, where dinner was already on the table, and Percy was holding a conversation with his father. "You are the most elusive members of the family. I hardly see either of you except during the holidays or at a birthday party. Did you meet up along the way?"

"I suppose you could say that," Janice said. "I've found myself with a lot more free time lately."

Mrs. Weasley gestured for them to sit down. "Tuck in, both of you. Are you still fighting demons?"

Janice shook her head. "Under the circumstances, I don't think it's a wise idea." She sat down at the table.

Percy glanced to her. "Did you get injured again?" Her injuries were well known among the family, and often a cause of concern.

Charlie sat down and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He really should have rehearsed what was to be said.

Janice paused, and then shook her head. "Not exactly." She glanced at Charlie briefly. "He's substituting for me, though."

Mrs. Weasley frowned as she brought out a couple of plates and silverware. "Why are you fighting demons, Charlie?"

"Someone has to do it," Charlie said. "Since it's my fault that she can't fight--"

"I can fight," Janice interrupted sullenly. "I'm not an invalid. It just isn't a good idea."

Mr. Weasley looked over to her. "What happened?" He glanced to Charlie. "How is it your fault that she can't fight?"

Charlie glanced to Janice briefly, and then took in a deep breath. "She's pregnant."

Mrs. Weasley looked over at Janice in alarm. "Pregnant? It's not that demon's is it?"

"It's mine," Charlie muttered, slumping down in his chair.

He was prepared to receive looks of surprise, or protests that mentioned their age difference, or family connection, even. His father didn't disappoint him, just staring in shock at him. Even Percy's 'Are you sure it's yours?' came as no surprise. Percy had serious trust issues with women, originally brought about by his ex-girlfriend Penelope, and then cemented by his ex-wife Audrey. Janice's scathing reply to Percy came as little surprise, either. His mother, though… He had not been expecting her reaction at all.

He tried to pry his mother off him as she hugged him, squealing with delight. "Oh, I'm so happy you've finally found a girl to settle down with!" she exclaimed, letting go of him to hug Janice. "I suppose I'll have to tell that nice woman I met at the market you're not interested, but a baby! I never knew you were seeing one another!" She hugged Janice, who made a face before glaring at Charlie. Mrs. Weasley took a step back, looking between Charlie and Janice. "When's the wedding?"

Janice's eye twitched. "What wedding?"

"Your wedding, of course," Mrs. Weasley said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It should be before the baby is born. It would be preferable before she's showing, but--"

"Er, we're not getting married," Charlie interrupted, bracing himself. He knew his mother would not react well to that at all.

"What?!" his mother predictably screeched. "How could you even think of having a child without being married?! What will people think?"

"People can mind their own business," Janice muttered.

"Did you even ask her?" Mrs. Weasley demanded. "Just how long have the two of you been seeing one another?"

He had been dreading that question. He didn't think it would go over that well if he admitted that he and Janice had been in a purely sexual relationship for the past fourteen months. Instead, he'd focus on the first question. "We talked about it, mum. We decided getting married out of obligation wouldn't be a good idea. We'd rather just let things happen on their own. So no, I didn't ask."

"And I wouldn't want him to," Janice interjected. "We only just barely decided to try working on a real relationship."

Mrs. Weasley frowned at that. "What do you mean by 'a real relationship'? If you're pregnant with his child, then wouldn't that mean that you were in a relationship?" She glared at Charlie. "Please tell me that you didn't have a one night stand with her."

"It wasn't a one night stand," Charlie said, slumping down further in his seat. "It was just…" He let his voice trail off, not wanting to reveal that it had been just sex between them until recently. And truthfully, it still was more sex than anything. Sure, they talked, but he would still hesitate to call what he had with Janice as an actual relationship.

"Well, I think it's a good idea not to get married just so a child wouldn't be born out of wedlock," Percy said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "If things don't work out, divorce is expensive and usually messy, especially if there's a child involved."

His mother turned to him. "You can't actually condone having a child out of wedlock!"

Percy nodded. "If it would be better for all those involved, yes I would. Times have changed, mum. There's nothing wrong with being an unwed parent, either raising one's child alone, or with the other parent."

Charlie was glad to have his brother's support, at least on the marriage issue. He knew it likely stemmed from Percy's own experience with divorce, but that just gave the argument a bit more credence to it. Their mother hadn't been too happy about his divorce, but had understood because she knew just how vile a woman Percy's ex-wife was, and how nasty the arguments between Percy and Audrey were.

Charlie would try to appease his mother, though. "Mum, just because we're not getting married doesn't mean I won't be there for my child. We're going to try working something out."

She frowned. "If you had the chance to create a child, you should have had the chance to 'work something out'. How long have you been together?"

"Since last September," Janice said. "We never planned this to happen. We were just… friends with benefits. And apparently the benefits had consequences."

"What on earth does 'friends with benefits' mean?" Mrs. Weasley demanded.

Mr. Weasley coughed. "I think it means they were in a purely sexual relationship."

Mrs. Weasley's eyes widened. "What?!" She glared between Charlie and Janice. "Is that true? Is that what you were doing?"

Charlie reluctantly nodded. "We got careless, and are trying to work things out. I'll be there for my child, but I don't want to get married just out of some sense of obligation. It wouldn't be fair for any of us."

It was obvious to Charlie that his mother was not satisfied, but she didn't press the issue any further at that time. Quite possibly because she noticed how Janice stood up to leave until he grabbed a hold of her wrist and silently pleaded for her to stay.

The family dinner could have gone better, but all things considered, it could have gone worse. At least they made it through it, and were able to tell people about their upcoming parenthood on their own terms. More or less.

--- --- ---

Charlie shifted in his chair as he sat across from the purple-haired woman that was supposedly Janice's liaison with the Underworld. Karin -- as she had introduced herself -- was busy speaking on the telephone, obviously wanting the conversation to be over if her expression was any indication. He had been a bit apprehensive when he had been called in to meet with Janice's boss from the Underworld. He had been wondering when the Underworld would realize that he was substituting for Janice, and hadn't been looking forward to meeting with one of their representatives.

Karin sighed and hung up the phone. "I am so going to have a talk with Lord Koenma about what he's advertising that we do here. I've got people calling wanting someone to prove that their spouse is cheating. Can you believe that?"

Charlie nodded, hoping to stay off the topic of why he was really there. "You know that 'Tantei Detective Agency' is a rather redundant name?" he asked. "You might as well just call it the 'Detective Detective Agency', because it means the same thing."

Karin shrugged. "I didn't choose the name," she said dismissively. "Word on the rumor mill says that you've been substituting for Janice?"

He'd hoped that she wouldn't get to business like that. "Er, yeah. But there's a reason for that."

She waved him off. "I don't suppose you have any formal fighting training, do you?"

He paused. "I've worked with dragons for the past twenty years." At her raised eyebrow, he shrugged. "Janice and Ryou have been training me to fight for the past three weeks."

Karin sighed. "Nothing formal, then." She made a thoughtful face. "I doubt Master Tesen would take on any more students at this time… He was saying something about wanting to enjoy his retirement by going to wet t-shirt contests at the Pink Poodle." She made a face. "I suppose that I could have Janice's predecessors train you."

Charlie blinked. "You mean Fred and George? You'd have my brothers train me to fight?"

She stared at him. "Your brothers?" A look of comprehension dawned on her face. "It's been a while since I last saw you, and I don't think we were ever formally introduced… No wonder I didn't realize who you were…" She smiled and held out her hand. A small book appeared in it, which she opened. "Let's see here…" She flipped through the pages, and then began to read out loud. "'Charlie Weasley, currently 38 years old, turning 39 in December. Said to be simple-minded and straightforward, prefers to maintain an uncomplicated life--'"

"I'm not stupid," Charlie interrupted, frowning.

She glanced up at him. "I never said you were. Simple and stupid are completely different things." She glanced back to the book. "'An adrenaline-junkie who craves increasingly dangerous situations. Has little regard for his own health and safety at times. Is just a hair short of having what would be considered an active death wish.'"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I get the point. And I'm not suicidal."

"Having a death wish is different than being suicidal," Karin said. "Truth be told, under normal circumstances you would make horrible Underworld detective material."

He titled his head in curiosity. "Why is that?"

She raised a finger in front of her. "Well, viewing the world in terms of black-and-white is an undesirable quality in Underworld detectives. In the past, detectives who viewed things as simplistically as 'good and evil' become a bit… twisted. Demons aren't all evil, humans aren't all good."

"I know that," Charlie said. "Ryou's a rather decent guy, if a bit rough around the edges." He paused. "He reminds me a bit of Bejita from Dragonball. Well, after Bejita mellowed out, at least."

Karin's eye twitched. "So you were the 'Charlie' who gave George that damn series to read…" She shook her head. "An Underworld detective might face demons that are sympathetic to the point where the detective believes them to be on the side of righteousness. And they might face humans that they believe are the worst kind of scum on the earth. The world is not black-and-white."

Charlie nodded. "Nobody thinks of themselves as being evil."

"You're wrong," Karin said. "There are people who think of themselves that way. But most people do not. But what an Underworld detective does has nothing to do with good or evil." She folded her hands on front of her. "The bigger reason why you would make a horrible candidate for a detective is that you seek danger. You might not even realize that's what you're doing, but you are rather self-destructive."

Charlie frowned. If he'd known when he was called into her office that he'd be attacked like this, he wouldn't have bothered. Still, Janice insisted that he go, if only to clear things up with the Underworld and get any tools of the trade that he might need to substitute for her. "I'm not self-destructive."

She shrugged. "That's a matter of opinion. You work in a field where you know you might be killed at any time. You have several tattoos and piercings on your body. You've experimented with various drugs in your youth. Not to mention that you are perhaps one of the most promiscuous humans I've ever met, having slept with a number of partners that goes into the _hundreds_."

He made a thoughtful face. "Really? Hundreds? I didn't realize it was that many…"

Karin looked back down at the book. "Four hundred and fifty-eight. Normally, a person's book would list all of their partners by name, but your book has the honor of only having a _number_. Well, aside from those that are important. First partner, most recent partner, any partners who you have caught a disease from or given one to, partners you've impregnated…"

Charlie fidgeted in his chair. "Er, so it says that me and Janice--?"

She closed the book and nodded. "The Underworld is fully aware that the reason why you're substituting for her is because she's pregnant with your child."

A thought entered his mind. He'd never really thought of the consequences of his sexual activities, and having the sheer volume pointed out like that was more than a bit unnerving. He figured it was best to ask, just so he would know. "Er, will this be my first child, or do I have any kids I don't know about?"

Karin pulled an annoyed face and opened the book again. "Aside from a woman who had miscarried when she was two weeks along, this will be your first child." She closed the book. "And before you ask, you do not currently have any diseases, and neither does Janice. You should consider yourself lucky for that. The point is, with the dangerous and risky behavior you've engaged in, one could easily argue that you are self-destructive."

Charlie had nothing to say to that. He'd never really thought of the consequences before, which was probably why he was in the situation he was in. He preferred to act, rather than plan ahead. He could have done without knowing about the miscarriage, but thought it best not to ask when it was or who it was with. He couldn't remember half the women he had slept with. If the number was close to accurate, he couldn't even remember ten percent of the women he'd been with.

Karin stood up and walked towards a filing cabinet. "The Underworld would normally pass right over someone like you when choosing a detective to work for them. Even if you realized that things weren't simple, there would still be that self-destructiveness to work past. Fighting for the sake of fighting leads to nothing good. One needs a reason." She opened one of the drawers and rummaged though it.

"I have a reason," Charlie said. "It's my fault that Janice can't fight. I'm aware I'm in over my head, but I'll do it anyway."

Karin glanced at him over her shoulder. "That's a rather weak reason. Still, you're a substitute, not an official Underworld detective." She pulled a small wallet sized object out of the filing cabinet. "This is your temporary badge. It identifies you as an Underworld detective. With it, you'll be able to access portals to the Underworld and demon plane if necessary." She handed it to him. "There are a few places where portals between the realms are open on a permanent basis. The guards on the other side will check your identification, which expires in one year."

Charlie looked at the object in his hand, opening the brown leather folds. Inside there was a badge on top, and a card down below that stated his name and basic vital statistics. For some odd reason, it also had his picture printed on it, although it wasn't moving like a normal photograph would. "Is it likely that I would ever need to go to one of the other realms?"

Karin shrugged. "Who knows? Years ago, Fred and George had to go to the demon plane in order to maintain order when Lord Koenma was presenting his case against King Enma. Speaking of Fred and George, I would recommend having them teach you how to fight. Janice and Ryou are capable fighters, but neither of them are well suited to be teachers. You might also want to go on a few assignments with them to get acclimated to how an Underworld detective operates. I'm sure they'd be more than willing to help you, considering the circumstances."

Charlie wasn't so sure of that. George didn't seem too happy about the situation with Janice, but that wasn't too surprising. Still, if he was going to substitute for Janice, it might be a good idea to talk to her predecessors.

--- --- ---

Charlie flew back a few feet as he was hit by the blast of spirit energy. He grimaced as he hit the ground, mentally chiding himself for being so careless. If he'd been facing a dragon, he likely would have been burnt to a crisp, or at least suffered third-degree burns. Facing a demon wasn't much better. At least this one wasn't trying to kill him.

The Elixir of Yesterday temporarily reverted a person to how they were in times past. Effects were supposed to last half an hour. It was a potion originally designed by Vallum, although the notes were stolen years ago when Fred and George faced him. If used on a human, they could regress to a time when they were a child or infant -- or even before they were born.

If Charlie had known about the elixir before he asked George to help teach him how to fight, he might have had second thoughts. As it was, he wondered why he could recognize some demons as such and not others.

"I'm surprised you've lasted this long," the snide voice of the demon he was fighting taunted. His silver tail swished lazily behind him. "Beginner's luck, I guess."

Charlie groaned as he pulled himself off the ground. "When I asked you to teach me to fight, I didn't expect it to be like this…"

The demon chuckled, smiling slightly.

It was true that when Charlie asked George to teach him how to fight, he never expected his younger brother to take some of the Elixir of Yesterday to revert to his demon form. He supposed in retrospect that he should have known. George hadn't been too happy with him about his relationship with Janice, and there was always a supply of the elixir at George and Tracy's house in case one of them needed to take their demon form. It was dangerous for Tracy to do so when pregnant, though, as there was a strong risk that she'd lose the child she was carrying. Nothing prevented George from taking it to revert to his demonic side Yoru, however.

The reason why he had asked George for help instead of Fred was because he hadn't been in the mood to explain the situation yet again. Besides, he knew that Fred hadn't been very approving of Charlie hooking up with Janice at Caitlin's second birthday party. That might have been preferable to this, however.

Charlie tried to dodge the silver lightning that struck the ground by his feet, but wasn't able to dodge all of it. He cried out in pain as a bolt of lightning hit his leg and he stumbled to the ground again. "Dammit, George!" he shouted. "How does this qualify as training?!"

His brother just smirked nastily, aiming his index finger at Charlie. "You're lucky I'm not trying to kill you," he said derisively as he fired a shot of his Spirit Gun at him.

Charlie grimaced as the shot hit him on the other leg. "You have a funny way of showing it!"

George -- if that's who the fox demon could be called -- calmly walked up to him. "If you were anyone but my brother, I probably would. I'd take my time of course; making sure you fully understood why I'd be killing you."

Trying to block out the pain, Charlie shakily stood up, determined to hold his ground.

"You see," the fox demon continued, "I've come to terms with the fact that you've slept with my mate. It was in the past, and I had no claim to her when it happened. She also holds no interest in you, but that's inconsequential. What bothers me, however…" He lazily dodged a punch that Charlie tried to throw at him before backhanding him down to the ground again. "What bothers me is the fact that you've entered relations with my mate's sister. I'm concerned that you might be harboring some lingering want towards my mate, and are acting that out with her sister because you can't have my mate."

Charlie glared up at him as he staggered to his feet again. "I don't want Tracy!"

George -- no, Yoru -- tilted his head. "Is that so?" he asked, grabbing Charlie by the collar of his shirt. "Then why are you fucking her sister?" He kneed Charlie in the stomach, causing him to stagger back.

Charlie spat out a bit of blood onto the ground. "They're completely different people!" he shouted. He found George's accusations to be utterly ridiculous. But the demon standing before him wasn't really George, but rather his demonic counterpart Yoru. He didn't think that the real George would act so irrationally. Then again, the twins weren't exactly known for being completely rational.

Yoru sneered at him. With a snap of his fingers, more bolts of lightning rained down around Charlie.

This wasn't getting anywhere. If he'd wanted a demon to beat him up, he could just as easily have asked Ryou. At least the ice demon had a legitimate gripe against him if Charlie's suspicions that Ryou had feelings for Janice were correct.

Charlie crossed his arms in front of him to try to block as much of the blast of spirit energy as possible. He tried to hold his ground, but once more found himself forced down onto the ground from the pressure of the shockwave. Reasoning with the demon would obviously do no good, and he wasn't getting any useful tips for fighting. He couldn't get close enough to throw any punches or kicks, anyway. He never had been able to produce any results, but maybe using his own spirit energy was worth a shot.

Remembering what he'd been told before, he tried to focus his energy into his hand. Janice had told him that the shape spirit energy took differed from person to person. The Underworld would teach the Spirit Gun to its detectives who hadn't previously found the shape their spirit weapons took.

'_Gather and release_,' Charlie thought to himself as he scrambled to dodge more bolts of lightning. He had been successful in gathering his energy in his hand in the past, but had never been able to produce anything when releasing it. Instead, the released energy just fizzled out. He wondered if maybe he was supposed to let his spirit energy take form first…

"You're here to fight, not to dance!" Yoru taunted as he unleashed another Spirit Gun at Charlie. The shot connected with Charlie's thigh, forcing him down onto the ground once more.

Charlie grunted in pain, but refused to let it disrupt his concentration. His hand was growing warm with Reiki. At this point, he would normally release it, but he refused to do so now. If the demon he was facing was one that he had to capture or even kill, he had to know how to use his Reiki.

Bolts of silver lightning rained down around Charlie. Yoru chuckled as he lazily guided the occasional bolt to strike him. "How pathetic is this?" the demon drawled, calmly stepping towards Charlie.

He glared up at him from his spot on the ground, raising his hand in front of him. This was humiliating. He'd always been able to beat his brothers in a fight. There was a reason why the twins had never teased him about failing his Apparition test the first time he took it. At least not to his face.

Yoru's eyes widened as a whip made of a soft orange light wrapped around his legs. Charlie pulled on his end of the spirit whip, and the demon fell unceremoniously onto the ground, scattering a pile of fallen leaves.

"George?" Tracy called from the back door as Yoru got back to his feet. "The kids will be home from school soon, and you promised to pick them up at the bus stop."

The fox demon glanced to the back door. "But I was just about--"

"And I thought you were going to rake up the leaves," she continued. "Oh, well. Jack's still grounded for that little stunt he pulled with the vacuum cleaner, and I don't want him dashing off somewhere, so it might be a good idea if you get to the bus stop before the bus does."

Yoru sighed. "Fine." He glanced over at Charlie. "I guess we're at a good enough stopping point. Fred should be able to help you from here." Without waiting for a reply, he sauntered towards the door where Tracy stood with their toddler daughter Caitlin and their year old son Riley.

"You look silly, daddy," Caitlin said, reaching up to pull on his silver fox tail.

"I'll be back to normal soon, princess," he said, picking her up and placing her on his shoulders. "Shall we wait for your brothers and sister at the bus stop?"

"Yeah!" Caitlin agreed as she grabbed hold of one of the silver fox ears on top of his head. The other ear was partially missing, perhaps as a testament to George's missing ear.

Charlie let the spirit whip dissipate in his hand, and shook his head briefly before Disapparating.

--- --- ---

A few days after discovering his Spirit Whip, Charlie was called back to the Tantei Detective Agency for an assignment. Much to his annoyance, it was to deal with a mouse that had gotten into the office. Apparently, Karin was afraid of mice and was too cheap to call for a proper exterminator. The mouse was vaguely demonic in origin, though, as evidenced by the fact that it was the size of a small house cat and had lavender fur. That was completely beside the point, though.

He sat across from Ryou at a table at the Ogre's Lair. It was a hub of information on the comings and goings of the local demons. Charlie didn't quite trust all the drinks that were served there, so went with coffee. The weather was getting colder, and he was bloody exhausted after having to break up a fight between two fighting Swedish Short-Snouts before reporting for mouse exterminating duty.

"There's a few things you need to understand about us demons," Ryou said as he shook a salt shaker over a glass filled with a blue liquid that appeared to be glowing and smoking. "We're rather possessive over what we consider to be ours. When he took Kuroi as his mate, the idiot also took Janice on as his ward."

"Kuroi is Tracy, right?" Charlie asked.

Ryou nodded. "To demons, it's a major faux pas to court another without gaining permission from their guardian first. You also have to understand that even when he was Yoru, the idiot was still an idiot. Few demons speak fondly of him, and even those who do would agree that Yoru was an asshead."

Charlie chuckled. "So I shouldn't take what George said seriously?"

"He feels threatened by you," Ryou said, taking a sip of his drink. Seemingly satisfied at the taste, he set the salt shaker back down on the table. "Think of it this way. Say that years from now, when your daughter is grown up--"

"We might be having a son," Charlie interjected. "We never did check the gender of our child."

Ryou shot him an annoyed look. "For the sake of argument, let's envision that your bratling's a girl. Years from now, how would you feel if someone who Janice once slept with knocked up your kid? Wouldn't you feel that he might only be with her because he couldn't be with Janice?"

Charlie frowned. "Not necessarily. I'd say he's a pervy bastard for touching my daughter in such a way, but it's not the same thing. Besides, I don't know who Janice has been with, and I don't really care."

Ryou paused in contemplation. "Well, let's say that the person was me. Would you feel threatened then?"

Charlie downed some of his coffee, watching Ryou warily. "Have you ever slept with her?"

Ryou shook his head. "She's my partner. I have too much respect for her to have a one night stand with her. She deserves more than just a one night stand or a glorified fuck buddy. She deserves forever. But let's pretend that I did have a one night stand with her, and you're fully aware of it."

"They're different scenarios," Charlie stated after a long pause. Ryou's jibe against him didn't go unnoticed, but he chose to ignore it. "Tracy and I had a one night stand. We were strangers that might never have seen one another again in our lives if it weren't for George. I don't have any feelings for her, and she doesn't have any feelings for me. Even if you and Janice had a one night stand, there are feelings there."

Ryou tilted his head and downed more of his smoking blue drink. "And what kind of feelings do you think are there?" he asked in a guarded tone.

Charlie shrugged as he sipped more of his coffee. He was glad that he had ordered his most recent cup with a shot of Irish whiskey in it. He needed a bit of extra boldness to address the issue. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Ryou was silent for a while, and then reached to the side of the table for the pepper shaker. He slid it in front of him, next to the salt shaker. "How old do you think I am?"

Charlie blinked. He knew that he should be used to Ryou changing the subject like that, but the question just seemed to come out of nowhere. "Er… I'm a bad judge at age. I know you're at least as old as Fred and George, but you look younger." At Ryou's quirked eyebrow, he continued, "You look like you're in your early twenties, but I know you're not."

"I'm fifty-eight years old," Ryou said. "By demon standards, I'd still be viewed as a child. Once a demon hits physical maturity, their aging process slows to a crawl. My natural life expectancy is somewhere in the thousands of years. A hundred years from now, when you're dead and rotting in the ground, I won't look much older than I do now."

Charlie didn't know what to say to that. His own mortality wasn't something that he really liked to think about.

Ryou shook a bit of pepper into his hand. "Second…" He brought his hand up to his nose, sniffing at the pepper. He made a face and sneezed, taking female form. "Demons generally don't concern themselves with inane notions like gender boundaries," she said, calmly brushing the pepper off her hand. "Humans do."

Charlie scoffed. "Not every human cares about that sort of thing. I mean, I consider myself straight for the most part, but I've experimented with guys in the past. A shag's a shag. I really don't think Janice would care too much about the curse on you. And stop dodging the question."

"I answered your question," Ryou said. She took a swig of her drink and glanced to the stage, where a demon with green skin and pointed ears was singing something about it not being easy being green. "You just need to learn to listen."

Charlie sighed and finished off the rest of his drink.

--- --- ---

When Charlie returned home to the cabin, he was rather surprised to find that Percy was there. He called Janice to ask if she knew how to get onto Dimmonik Alley as Ryou had gotten completely sloshed, but she never said anything about his brother visiting. But there he was, sitting in the living room, talking to Janice while sipping a cup of tea.

"Er, I don't mean to judge, but do you usually bring strange women home with you?" Percy asked as he shot a wary look at Ryou. Charlie had been told to just bring Ryou home to sleep it off. Humans were unable to access the demonic street on their own, and it was doubtful that the inebriated demon could access it in the state she was in.

"That's just Ryou," Janice explained. "But he is strange."

Percy nodded. "Right. The curse." He turned to Charlie, who sat down on the couch next to Janice. "I came over for a couple of reasons. I first wanted to apologize to Janice for questioning the paternity of her child. I was out of line."

Janice waved him off. "I already told you it's no big deal. Just so long as Charlie knows that he's the father, I don't care what anyone else thinks."

Charlie nodded. "Besides, she already told you what you could stick where."

Percy flushed. "Er, the main reason why I came over was because I don't know how to recognize demons, and I need to."

"We're the onesh who kick yer ashes at Dansh Dansh Revolushion!" Ryou drunkenly proclaimed as she investigated small figurines of dragons on top of the hearth. "Ow! Thish one bit me…"

"How much did you let him drink?" Janice asked, turning to Charlie.

He shrugged. "She only had three glasses of that strange blue stuff."

Janice groaned. "Why'd you let him drink that? It has powdered Lopho cactus in it. It acts like a drug to demons, and will make him act loopy all night."

Percy blinked. "I'm not going to ask." He turned back to Janice and Charlie. "Can you help me figure out how to recognize demons?"

"Why do you need to know that?" Charlie asked.

Percy took a deep breath. "I'm probably just being paranoid, but I've lately been getting the feeling that I'm being watched. When I'm walking home from work, I feel like I'm being followed. Nobody stands out, but it's disturbing."

Janice frowned. "And you think it's a demon?"

Percy shrugged. "I don't know. From what Fred tells me, the surname 'Weasley' is well known in the demon community. I don't know what else it might be, but I have noticed that shadows seem to be a bit darker than usual."

Ryou giggled by the hearth. "If ya fuck a demon, it'll raish yer shpirit awarenessh like that." She snapped her fingers, and then pouted as she noticed her index finger was bleeding slightly. "Shtupid thing." She stuck her tongue out at the dragon figurine that bit her.

Janice shook her head, putting a hand to her forehead. "No, it won't." She looked back to Percy, who wore a shocked look from Ryou's suggestion. "Having sex with a demon might increase your awareness a little, but not by much. My sister designed a potion that would temporarily allow you to see things the way they really are, though." She glared at Ryou, who was unsuccessfully trying to encase the figurine in ice.

Charlie chuckled. "Are you trying to offer something there, Ryou?" he teased.

Ryou tried to make an obscene hand gesture, but gave up due to lack of coordination. "Go to that one plashe. Hell, or shomething."

"Since I won't be having sex with any demons anytime soon," Percy said, pushing his glasses up his nose, "is there any other way of identifying a demonic presence? I don't want to take a potion that likely hasn't been approved by any official channel as safe to consume."

"Pay attention," Janice said simply. "That's ultimately what spirit awareness is about. Most people will ignore what they can't easily explain away, whether it has to do with magic or demons. If you pay close attention and refuse to rationalize the strange shit that goes on around you, you'll start seeing the world as it really is."

Percy sighed. "But what am I supposed to look for?"

"Horns," Janice said. "Fur. Strange skin colors. Tails. Wings. Anything out of the ordinary."

"I'm ordinary," Ryou protested.

"You have blue hair," Janice pointed out.

Ryou scoffed. "Lotsh of people have blue hair." She stumbled over to sit down in an armchair. She missed the chair she was trying to sit down in and landed on the floor. "Ow."

"But their hair isn't natural," Janice said.

Ryou pointed to Charlie and Percy. "How d'ya know they're not demonsh? They got weird hair."

"Red hair is perfectly natural," Percy said.

"Fire demonsh have red hair," Ryou said. "Fire demonsh are a bunch of wankersh, and can shuck my ballsh." She paused. "Wait, girlsh don't have ballsh, do they?" Her face fell. "I don't have any ballsh. I've got titsh, but no ballsh."

Janice rubbed her temples. "How long ago did he sneeze?"

Charlie shrugged. "About an hour before we came here." He glanced over to where Ryou was quietly crying on the floor over her lack of 'balls'. "How long will she be like that?"

"Another couple of hours, unless one of you wants to kiss him and turn him back into a guy," Janice said. She shook her head and looked to Percy. "I'll give you a dose of the potion that will let you see things for as they are. I'd also recommend speaking with Karin at the Tantei Detective Agency--"

"Karin hash purple hair!" Ryou proclaimed. "But no ballsh. And she doeshn't have any titsh, either."

Janice sighed heavily. "Karin has tits. They're just very small."

"My titsh are bigger," Ryou said, looking down at the front of her shirt. "I've got big titsh, but no ballsh."

Percy stood up. "I'll try your suggestion of paying attention, although I do pay attention to my surroundings already. I might take the potion if it becomes truly alarming. I'd rather not, but it doesn't seem like there's any other way to see demons as such."

Janice got up and walked over to the liquor cabinet. "Without developing your sixth sense, there isn't any other way." She reached into the cabinet and pulled out a vial. "The Elixir of Sight Unseen will let you see things like demons' true forms and the auras of those around you. It wears off after an hour. In the meantime, talk to Karin. I'll make sure Fred and George know of the situation as well. If a demon's stalking you, the Underworld needs to know."

Percy nodded as she handed him the vial. "I'm probably just being paranoid, but I'll make sure to talk to her." He turned to Charlie. "I don't envy your position one bit. I know you're probably going to be catching a lot of flack from everyone about this. But if you ever need help, just ask."

Charlie nodded. "Thanks," he said. It was a relief to hear that he had the support of at least one of his brothers, especially after the way George reacted.

"I'll be in touch," Percy said as he walked out the door.

Charlie sighed. "We need to let the rest of my family know."

"I'll tell them," Ryou offered, picking herself off the floor and sliding into the chair.

"No," Charlie and Janice said at the same time. Ryou pouted.


	31. 05 Flight and Fight

**Chapter 5**: Flight and Fight  
[_December 2011_]

--- --- ---

"I'm worried about your brother," Janice said as she lay next to Charlie in their bed, cuddled up against him.

"Not what a bloke wants to hear right after sex," Charlie muttered, lightly trailing his hand along her side. "Stuff like 'that was incredible' or incoherent babbling, yes, but nothing about other guys."

Janice rolled her eyes. "Kage demons are not to be taken lightly. Aren't you worried about the one stalking your brother?"

"Yes, but I generally refrain from thinking about any of my brothers during sex," he replied. "Or immediately after," he added. "Besides, Fred and George are aware of the situation, and Hermione's keeping a close eye on Percy at work. And Karin said she'd keep an eye on the situation as well."

He moved his hand along her belly, which had grown beyond a mere 'bump'. She was noticeably pregnant, and her pregnancy had progressed to an extremely frightening point. The other day Charlie had felt their baby kick. It just drove home the concept that he was going to be a father.

Somehow they'd muddled though informing the rest of his family about the situation. Charlie hadn't been surprised at his siblings' mixed reactions. Bill had laughed and said something about 'karma', while Ginny had just rolled her eyes and called him an 'idiot'. Ron had shrugged it off, and Fred seemed almost resigned and disappointed. So far, none of his siblings had offered their active support except for Percy.

"I wonder if I can get Karin to send me on some light assignments," Janice mused out loud. "Nothing dangerous, but--"

"No," Charlie said. "Any assignment would be too dangerous."

Janice frowned. "I was thinking something like reconnaissance, or maybe some bodyguard work. Neither Fred nor George have ever dealt with a kage demon, and Percy certainly can't handle it. If it decides it's tired of just following him, it could be a slaughter."

"Then we'll get Ryou to cover him," Charlie said. "It's too dangerous for you to fight demons in your condition."

"I'm not an invalid," Janice said sullenly. "And it beats just waiting around here when I get off work. I hate feeling so bloody useless."

He gave her a serious look. "Janice--"

"It's bad enough that I'm working a fucking _desk job_," she grumbled. "I can't go out on assignments because of my 'condition'. That wouldn't be so bad if I could at least try to maintain some semblance of normalcy by training with my partner. But he's too busy hanging out with _you _and fighting the demons _I _want to fight."

Charlie was silent for a while. He stilled his hand's motion over her belly, glancing down briefly as he felt their daughter kick. During a recent prenatal appointment, they had learned that their baby was a girl, and was growing along healthily. "Ryou is training me to fight," he said. "He backs me up on assignments. You asked him to do these things, remember?"

"He's hanging out with you in demon bars," Janice countered. "I never asked him to do that."

"You're jealous of him?" Charlie asked.

Janice sighed. "I'll just be glad when this whole stupid pregnancy thing is over and things can go back to normal. I wonder how long it will take for me to recover enough to go back into the field after the baby's born."

"Isn't that a bit irresponsible?"

Janice narrowed her eyes. Without warning, she got out of bed and started gathering her clothes to get dressed.

Charlie sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to see if Karin has anything I could do," she said, putting her pants on.

Charlie groaned and got out of bed, walking over to her. "Janice, no. It's too--"

She spun around to face him, poking a finger into his chest. "If you complete that sentence with the word 'dangerous', I will kick your arse." She hastily put her shirt on.

"It's not just you," he tried to reason. He bent down to retrieve his pants as she located her shoes.

"That's why I won't do anything 'dangerous'," Janice said, slipping on one of her shoes.

Charlie zipped up his pants. "Please don't do this. Stay. We'll figure something out."

As she put on her other shoe, she looked up at him and scoffed. "Figure what out? You have it great. You get to play all day with your dragons, and then you get to do _my _job and socialize with _my _partner. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a boring desk job and nothing to do. If the situations were reversed, I'm sure you'd be none too happy, either." Without even bothering to locate a jacket, she stepped away from him and Disapparated.

"Fuck!" Charlie cursed. He had to find her.

--- --- ---

The first place he looked was at Karin's office in London. He knew that it was rather late -- it was almost eleven at night -- but didn't care. Charlie knew that he had to find Janice.

As he was quickly getting dressed, he tried to make sense of their argument. He wasn't too surprised that she wasn't happy with not being able to fight. He was a bit surprised of how resentful she had sounded of him spending time with Ryou. At first, he thought that maybe it was because she felt that he wasn't spending enough time with her. After Karin told him that she hadn't seen Janice and that he should check with Ryou, Charlie began to wonder if maybe Janice feared that he was taking Ryou away from her.

Charlie had to admit that he didn't know of any other friends Janice might have. She never really socialized with anyone except for Ryou, unless family counted. He knew that she visited her sister as frequently as she could, and would sometimes visit Fred and Hermione, but they were family. He couldn't remember a single time she ever mentioned a friend outside the family except for Ryou. He wondered briefly if she even had any.

"She's probably at her sister's," Ryou said as he leaned against the wall of the Tantei Detective Agency. He had met Charlie outside the building after he called to see if the demon had seen her.

Charlie sighed as he sat down upon the steps. "I can't bother Tracy at this time of night. George still won't speak to me."

Ryou rolled his eyes as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his leather duster. "What did you say to her?"

"I told her that going on any kind of assignment was too dangerous," Charlie said. "She wanted to know if Karin had anything she'd be able to do."

Ryou chuckled. "You still don't get her, do you?" He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "She's not some kind of housewife. She's a fighter."

Charlie glanced over at him. "I don't expect her to act like a housewife. She works, and I clean up around the cabin--"

"Not like that," Ryou interrupted. "The keyword is 'fighter'. To her, fighting comes as naturally as breathing. It's what she _is_. She knows that fighting is dangerous. She doesn't need you to remind her." He took a drag off his cigarette.

Charlie looked down at the ground. "I don't want anything to happen to her."

"You don't want anything to happen to your child," Ryou said. He flicked some ashes onto the ground. "You're not in love with her."

Charlie looked over at him. "What makes you say that?"

"You don't trust her not to do something stupid, for one," Ryou took another drag off his cigarette. "And you'd rather follow me to demon bars than take her out on dates or whatever."

Charlie didn't have anything to say to that. Janice had said something similar; although she never once mentioned that she'd rather he spend time with her rather than Ryou.

"That's not to say that you don't love her," Ryou continued. "You're just not _in _love with her. If you were, she'd occupy your thoughts with such frequency that it would be almost painful to be apart from her."

"That's a rather romanticized view of being in love," Charlie muttered.

Ryou scoffed, exhaling a bit of smoke. "I told you she's probably at her sister's, and you're still here. If she was pregnant with _my _kid, I'd be pounding on the door to make sure she was all right. Of course, I'd know better than to stupidly suggest that she stay home and do nothing, but that's just further testament to how little you actually understand her."

"I'm _trying_," Charlie said, glaring over at Ryou. "And I already told you that I don't want to bother Tracy and George at this time of night. Their kids have school tomorrow, and--"

"You bothered Karin," Ryou pointed out. "You bothered me. It wouldn't be so difficult for you to pop over and see if she's there. If she went there, chances are someone's still awake. Instead, you make excuses." He took a drag off his cigarette, and then started coughing, making a face.

"Maybe you should quit," Charlie commented.

Ryou flashed a rude hand gesture at him before sneezing. "Fuck." She lowered her hand holding the cigarette. "Ash up the nose. Fucking wind."

Charlie chuckled. "As I said, maybe you should quit."

Ryou glared at him. "What the hell are you doing, just sitting there talking to me?"

"You're talking to me, too," Charlie said.

"Maybe, but for all you know I might have ulterior motives," Ryou replied. "You think I'm in love with her."

"Aren't you?"

Ryou took a deep drag off her cigarette. "We went over this before. I'm a demon. She's a human. Point is, if you were in love with her, you shouldn't be dawdling around talking with someone you believe is a rival for her affections. Especially one she has a history with. I could be trying to sabotage your chances with her. It might be your kid she's pregnant with, but for all you know it could just as easily have been mine if I'd actually given in to one of her attempts to get me into her bed."

Charlie gave her a startled look. "What?"

"You assume that I'm the one in love with her, but it could just as easily be the other way around," she said, taking one last drag off her cigarette before flicking the butt into the street. "Either way, how do you know I don't have ulterior motives for talking to you?"

Charlie slowly stood up, facing her. "Are you making this up?"

Ryou scoffed. "Why are you asking me that? Janice is the one you should be talking to, not me. I'd also recommend figuring out just how you feel about her. Remember what I told you about what would happen if you hurt her."

"If I hurt her, you'll hurt me," Charlie said.

"I believe I said I'd kill you, but I'd probably maim you a bit first, yes." Ryou peeled herself from off the wall. "In any case, don't think you're the only bloke interested in her."

"You're not exactly a bloke at the moment, though," Charlie pointed out.

Ryou just looked at him for a few moments before walking up to him. "Easily remedied," she said. Before Charlie could ask what she meant by that, she placed her lips against his in a chaste kiss.

Charlie's eyes widened as Ryou pulled away, once more in his male form. "Ulterior motives," the demon repeated as he turned away, walking off.

Charlie watched him walk away, confused over what just happened. Deciding to put the kiss out of his mind, he turned in the other direction to head to Tracy's. As late as it was, he needed to try to patch things up with Janice.

--- --- ---

"I hate this," Janice said quietly, curled up on the couch in Tracy's living room with a blanket over her. "I hate feeling all huge and hormonal and useless."

"You're not useless," Charlie replied, making sure to keep his voice down. He felt bad for having gone over to Tracy's so late at night, knowing that he was disturbing George and Tracy's attempt at sleep. Tracy had taken it fairly well, although she had given a stern warning to keep their voices down to avoid waking any of the kids.

"You're not the one being treated like an invalid," Janice muttered.

Charlie put an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. "I'm just worried about our daughter. I want to make sure she has a chance of being born, and I'm afraid of what might happen if you go out on assignments."

Janice remained silent for a while, cuddling up against him. "And Ryou?"

Charlie closed his eyes, trying to think of how to respond. Ryou's words still rang in his mind. He didn't know whether or not he should feel threatened by the demon, who had brought up several good points. As it was, the relationship between Ryou and Janice was too vague and complex for Charlie to fully understand. "What exactly bothers you about it?" he asked, hoping to get to the heart of the matter.

"He's my partner, not yours," she replied.

He never received a satisfying answer to what exactly that meant. He supposed it had complexities to it as well, but he still wanted to get it cleared up. "What does that mean? Is he a co-worker, a friend, or what?"

"All of the above," Janice whispered. "A partner is the most important person in an Underworld detective's life. We fight together, and when the battle's over we unwind together."

Charlie remained silent for a few moments. Her words about Ryou being the most important person stung, although her tone wasn't meant to be hurtful. It was an innocent statement of fact. "Do you love him?" he asked.

"Of course," Janice replied. She glanced up at him. "You're not jealous, are you?"

Charlie shook his head, not sure how to answer that. He knew that he should be jealous -- his girlfriend had just admitted to loving another bloke, who was the 'most important person in her life' -- but he felt more of a defeated sense of acceptance than jealousy. "I should be, shouldn't I?"

"No," Janice said simply. "Jealousy is unbecoming, and there's nothing to be jealous of. I'm not going to say anything as cliché as 'he's like a brother to me', because that would be a lie. But there's a line between us that won't be crossed. It wouldn't be fair to him."

"A line?" Charlie questioned.

"He'll outlive me," she stated. "Getting involved romantically wouldn't be fair to either of us." She glanced up at him. "You don't have to worry about it. I still want to try to work things out between you and me. I just hate feeling like I'm being left out of my own life."

Charlie nodded as he held her. "Maybe we can try to find something for you to do that won't make you feel so left out."

Janice smiled slightly. "I think the biggest problem is I'm afraid that you'll try to ground me like George does to Tracy. Deliberately knocking her up so she can't fight."

"You don't have to worry about that," Charlie said softly. "Having one kid is scary enough. And I don't fancy being your substitute forever."

"Glad to hear it," Janice said. "I know I can be a bit immature at times, and I guess I just proved it tonight. Shall we go home?"

Charlie smiled, standing up. He reached a hand down to help her up. "I think I'll call in sick tomorrow. Doyle can cover for me at the reservation. He owes me."

They walked to the door. Before leaving, Charlie flicked his wand to turn off the lamp by the couch. As they stood outside, ready to Apparate back to the cabin, Janice turned to him.

"Ryou really doesn't like many people," she said. "He tolerates most people. A handful of people even earn his respect. You're one of the rare few people who he actually likes. I suppose it would be a lie if I said I wasn't a little bit jealous of you. I guess I liked having him all to myself. But that's just me being selfish."

Charlie still wasn't all too clear on just what the whole 'partner' thing meant. He chose to interpret it as something similar to having a best friend, albeit a bit more complex than that. He supposed he couldn't blame her too much for feeling jealous of the time he spent with Ryou, especially since it sounded as if she was one of the few people that the ice demon considered a friend, and now he was another.

He supposed it was best not to worry too much about who felt what sort of feelings for whom, though. All it would do was complicate things, and things were already complicated enough.

--- --- ---

It was the night before Christmas, and Charlie was dreading the annual Christmas trip to the Burrow. He knew that his mother would start nagging him about marrying Janice, as she sent a letter to him every week that stated how much she would love to plan a wedding for him. The house would be extremely crowded as well, since almost all of his siblings, their significant others, and children would be present. He wondered if he could somehow escape unnoticed.

"It's not fair," Charlie lamented as looked longingly at a pan of freshly baked cookies that were set on the counter to cool. "How did Bill get out of Christmas at the Burrow?"

Janice chuckled. "He went to France to visit Fleur's family this year. Gabrielle had a baby last March, and Fleur wanted their kids to meet their new cousin. And stay away from the cookies. They're for tomorrow."

Charlie pouted. "Just one?" He sighed as he was refused, and went back to stringing some popcorn on a string. "How come you're not dragging Ryou with you this year? It might liven things up if you did."

Janice shrugged. "It's not the same as bringing him to birthday parties where he's actually invited. I don't think your parents like him much, and nobody else is bringing a friend. Besides, he doesn't celebrate Christmas. He says it's too confusing and strange. Should I frost the next batch of sugar cookies, or leave them unfrosted?"

"Let me try one of each and then I'll tell you," Charlie said hopefully.

"I made you your own batch earlier. It's not my fault you ate them all already," she replied. She opened the over door and took out the newest batch of cookies.

Charlie set down the popcorn and string and walked over to her. After she set the new batch down on the counter, he put his arms around her from behind, placing his hands on her swelling belly. She was nineteen weeks along now; the halfway point. It was frightening to know that in just a few more months, they would be parents. "I'm surprised you haven't made your own batch yet."

Janice smiled, leaning back against him. "I will be. And no, I won't be sharing any of my cookies with you."

"That's just mean," Charlie murmured as he kissed the side of her neck. There was no doubt that the cookies smelled heavenly, and he hoped to convince her to let him try a few. He let one of his hands stray up to gently cup her breast.

Janice closed her eyes. "Charlie…" Her eyes opened as her mobile phone began to ring across the room. She broke out of Charlie's grasp to answer it.

Charlie sighed. He had hoped that demons would give things a rest over the holidays, but that didn't appear to be likely. He recognized the ringtone as the one she assigned to the office of the Tantei Detective Agency, which meant that whatever the call was about would be official Underworld detective business.

After Janice ran off earlier in the month, they tried to work a compromise with Karin. Janice would help at the office, going over the case files and finding those most suitable for Charlie's current fighting level. Much to his chagrin, she would occasionally take 'easy' cases for herself, like one that involved questioning a suspect for allegedly breaking some condition of their immigration to the human realm. He did not like her going into the field like that, but knew he couldn't stop her.

"It's your brother Percy," Janice said after hanging up. "The kage demon stalking him got tired of just following him, and is making active threats against his life unless Yoru and Hiru show themselves."

Charlie tilted his head. "So I guess this is a high priority case now?"

Janice nodded. "Normally, Karin would send Fred or George on this case, but since they're the ones being called out, she doesn't think that's the best idea. Kage demons don't work alone usually, and without knowing who this one's working for, sending them in blindly could get all of them killed."

Charlie frowned. "Damn." He Summoned his coat and put it on. "I guess I'm off, then."

"I'm going too," Janice said, Summoning her own coat to her. Before Charlie could protest, she raised a finger in front of her. "Karin doesn't know enough about kage demons to tell you everything you need to know, and someone will need to watch after Percy to make sure that there's only the one demon. Ryou will likely be fighting with you, and Fred and George need to stay out of this until more is known."

He nodded. "I suppose…"

With a flick of her wand, Janice turned the oven off. "Let's go."

--- --- ---

The office of the Tantei Detective Agency was ready for Christmas. Multi-colored lights were strung practically everywhere. Practically every surface was decorated with tinsel or tacky looking figurines. A plastic tree was in one corner, containing so many ornaments that it was a miracle it didn't fall over. Charlie swore that one of the ornaments looked suspiciously like a set of red and green car keys to some sort of 'Ford', complete with a small box on the keychain for turning off a car alarm.

Percy was sitting in a chair to one side of the room, looking rather tense and holding a mug of something warm. Ryou was sitting across from Karin, rudely smoking a cigarette and propping his feet onto her desk.

"Any ideas on why the demon targeted him?" Janice asked, pointing to Percy as she sat in the other chair by Karin's desk. Charlie opted to lean against one wall, careful not to disturb some of the garland hanging down garishly. "Why not one of his other brothers or sister?"

"I'm an easy target," Percy muttered, looking down at his mug.

"That's the theory we have to work with," Karin said. "I heard that Fred taught Ron to defend himself after he was used as a hostage once. I believe that Ron might have taught Harry and Ginny in turn."

"And demons know I'm substituting," Charlie added. "But wouldn't Bill be just as easy a target?"

"Demons don't fuck with Bill Weasley," Ryou said, taking a drag off his cigarette.

Charlie glanced to Ryou. "Why don't demons mess with Bill?"

Ryou smiled slightly. "Because someone spread a rumor in the demon community about how he once killed a guy by just glaring at him, and how his fists are registered as a lethal weapon in 42 countries. There's even a small cult devoted to worshipping the God of Badassery, as he's sometimes referred to."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of," Karin said. "Who started that rumor, anyway?"

"Some idiot named George," Ryou said, exhaling a bit of smoke.

"That explains it," Karin muttered. She cleared her throat. "Kage demons have the ability to turn incorporeal. They're actually spirits from the demon plane that can take physical form when attacking. Other than that, I don't know much else about them."

"A Patronus will work against them," Janice said. "They can't maintain their incorporeal form when confronted with one." She glanced to Charlie. "I'm guessing the best plan of action would be for you to cast a Patronus and have Ryou incapacitate it. Otherwise, it'll take potshots against the both of you, and become intangible before you can counter."

Charlie frowned. He'd never been very good at casting a Patronus, as he never had any real need of casting one before. He could probably manage, but he was out of practice. "It's just the one?"

"I only saw the one when I took that potion," Percy said, making a face. "And then she told me that if I valued my life, I'd bring Yoru to her. She said something about how her master had a score to settle with him."

"Speaking of the potion," Charlie began, "I still can't quite recognize demons as such yet." Janice wordlessly handed him a vial. "Er, never mind."

Karin glanced around the room. "Janice will stay here with Percy and myself. Charlie and Ryou, the kage demon said she'd be waiting by the Heckling Jibe. It's a comedy club, I think."

"It's actually a strip club," Charlie corrected. "Although it is a bit of a joke. I know where it is. I've been there before."

Karin pursed her mouth. "Yes. Anyway, the Underworld would prefer this demon be arrested and sent in for questioning, but permission is granted for lethal force if necessary. And be careful, because there's reason to suspect this demon might be working for another."

With their assignments understood, Charlie and Ryou left the office, leaving the others behind to ward off the office in case the kage demon decided to attack there.

--- --- ---

The Heckling Jibe was, as Charlie said, a strip club. It was a club known for its aging strippers, poor quality drinks, and boorish customers. Charlie had gone there a few times out of curiosity, but found that the club wasn't to his tastes. The last time he visited the club was about four years previously, and he could have sworn that one of the strippers, The Enchanting Enchantress, had been a classmate of his back in school. She hadn't looked all too bad for someone who was in their mid-thirties at the time, but he wouldn't quite call her 'enchanting'.

From what Charlie could see, the club looked like not much had changed. Not knowing what the kage demon looked like, and not seeing anyone outside the club except for a portly bouncer, Charlie insisted that they go inside to see if the demon could be spotted there.

"Do you see anything?" Charlie asked, fingering the vial in his pocket. He didn't want to take it too soon, and wanted to make sure it was still there.

"I see far too much flesh from people who should be keeping their clothes _on_," Ryou said, looking at the stage with a wide-eyed expression. A scantily clad waitress who was passing by pinched his butt and winked at him. He started and turned to Charlie. "Let's go. There's no demons here except for that guy getting a lap dance, and it reeks in here. Someone is wearing way too much perfume."

Charlie shrugged. "Since we're here, we might as well stick around for a set or two. It's been a while since I've been here, and the girls here aren't _that _old. Some are actually rather nice to look at." He craned his neck to check out the stripper on the stage.

Ryou shot him a flat look. "Shouldn't you be more concerned about a threat to your brother's life than in watching a bunch of _strippers_?" As another waitress walked over to a nearby table, it became clear just who was wearing too much perfume. Ryou's face scrunched up, and a few moments later, he sneezed.

Charlie glanced around to make sure nobody noticed that Ryou spontaneously changed gender. The demon was wearing her leather duster, but there was only so much it could hide. It certainly couldn't hide how her hair suddenly grew long in the back, or how she suddenly developed breasts in the front. Thankfully, nobody had been paying any attention to them.

Ryou growled and grabbed Charlie's wrist. "Let's go," she hissed as she dragged him back to the door. "And for the record, I'm allergic to perfume," she said as they ended up outside once more.

Charlie glanced at her as they walked past the bouncer. "So what happens if you're screwing a girl wearing too much perfume and you sneeze?"

Ryou shot him a dirty look. "That's none of your business."

Charlie shrugged. "Or even if she's not. I mean, sometimes a person just sneezes for no real reason. I've sneezed during sex before."

Rolling her eyes, Ryou walked towards an alleyway close to the club. "It's never come up."

"You've never sneezed while having sex?" Charlie asked as he followed her.

"It would be rather difficult to sneeze during an activity I've never taken part in," she muttered.

Charlie's eyebrows rose. "You're a virgin?" At his companion's silence, he clapped a hand on her shoulder. "Someday I'm going to take you out barhopping or something to get you laid. It shouldn't be too difficult, I don't think. You're attractive enough." As Ryou glared at him coldly, Charlie smiled warmly. "If I wasn't involved with Janice, I would offer my services--"

"Just shut up and cast that pastrami charm!" she barked, knocking his hand off her shoulder. "I sense another demon nearby, but I can't see them."

Charlie drew out his wand. "You mean the Patronus charm?" He tried to concentrate and think of a happy thought, but it was a bit difficult to concentrate when trying not to laugh. "How in the world did you come up with 'pastrami'? They don't even sound alike."

Ryou frowned. "I'm hungry. Shut up."

Charlie chuckled and shook his head. He tried to focus once more. Rather relieved that at least he wasn't under pressure of incoming Dementors, he held out his wand and chanted, "_Expecto patronum_!"

Maybe he wasn't as out of practice as he thought. A silvery lizard took shape in front of him, swishing its tail around. It darted further into the alleyway where dark shadows had gathered. Snarling could be heard from the shadows, which seemed to converge and take the shape of a woman with glowing yellow eyes.

"Hold her down and keep her corporeal," Ryou said, forming a chain of ice in her hand. She rushed into the alleyway, swinging the chain around.

"You are not him," the shadow woman hissed, stepping back in the alley. As there was a wall behind her, there was no way for her to escape except to pass Ryou and Charlie's Patronus.

"We're enough," Ryou drawled as the chain wrapped around the woman's waist.

The woman dashed toward Ryou, which momentarily threw the ice demon off-guard. She stuck out one of her arms, which seemed to transform into a black sword of shadows. Ryou's eyes widened as she dodged the woman's strike. Not missing a beat, she ducked low and punched the shadow demon.

Charlie frowned. The shadow woman was faster than they had anticipated. He kept his Patronus close to the kage demon, trying to keep her corporeal. It didn't seem to be dealing any sort of damage to her, but he had to keep it active to give Ryou the chance to take her down. As much as he wanted to help fight her, he knew if he tried to create his Spirit Whip, there was the chance that would distract his concentration.

Ryou barely dodged a second strike from slicing her open. The bottom of her shirt tore, and a thin slice of blood appeared across her stomach. She grimaced and jumped back in the alleyway. The chain of ice disappeared, and she raised a hand to blast the kage demon with an icy wind.

Unfortunately, the way Ryou and the kage demon had been fighting in the alley caused their positions to reverse. The shadow woman was closer to Charlie now, and spun to face him, ignoring Ryou's attempts to encase her in ice.

"Step aside, spell caster," she hissed, shaking off the ice at her feet and charging at Charlie with her shadowy blade.

Charlie jumped to the side, narrowly dodging the blade. His concentration was disrupted, though, and his lizard Patronus faded. The kage demon became shadows once more, moving swiftly away from them.

"Fuck!" Ryou shouted. "After her!"

They gave chase, running through the streets. Charlie wished he had his broom, as it wasn't easy running through the ice and snow underfoot. The kage demon glided quickly down the side street they were on, straight for a busier main street. If it weren't for that, Charlie might have Apparated closer to the demon. Sometimes he really hated the whole 'keeping magic a secret' thing. It made things so inconvenient at times, especially when fighting demons.

During their pursuit of the kage demon, Ryou used her ice chain to raise herself up to the rooftops, vaguely reminding Charlie of some comic book superhero he'd read about years ago. He hoped that Ryou kept the demon in her sights, as the shadows moved too quickly to keep up with on foot, turning corners as he just barely had cleared the previous one. He didn't dare to glance up to see where the ice demon might be, lest he lose sight of the shadows.

He turned another corner, and then frowned. There was an intersection up ahead, and he couldn't see the kage demon anywhere. He cursed under his breath, but kept running. As he got to the intersection, he looked around, but the kage demon was nowhere to be found. He swore again and looked to the rooftops, trying to see where Ryou might be.

To the right, he could see Ryou standing on top of the roof of a department store, looking around with a scowl on her face. It appeared as though she lost sight of their prey as well. Glancing around to make sure nobody was watching, Charlie Apparated to the roof.

"We need to get back to the office," Ryou said, turning to him.

Charlie nodded and held out his arm for her to grab onto. Without saying anything, he Apparated them back to the Tantei Detective Agency.

--- --- ---

It became evident that the kage demon also had the same destination in mind. When Charlie and Ryou returned, they could see that the others were locked in battle with the kage demon, as well as another demon with green skin and straggly straw-like hair that fell to its shoulders. For a brief instant, Charlie wondered how it was he was able to recognize the other demon as such, but figured it didn't matter when Janice's Spirit Boomerang barely missed clocking him upside the head.

The green-skinned demon snarled, baring yellowing fangs and trying to swipe at Janice with nasty looking black claws. As Janice was occupied with trying to fight the kage demon, Karin aimed the broad end of her oar at the green one, sending a rush of cherry blossoms at it. Percy had cast a Patronus, and was trying to stay close to Karin.

"Ice Chain!" Ryou shouted, grappling the kage demon's arm with the icy chain before it could slice at Janice.

Karin glanced to him briefly before swinging at the green-skinned demon with her oar. "I've called for backup, but we've got--" The green-skinned demon backhanded her, knocking her against the wall. She fell to the ground unconscious, and her oar disappeared.

Charlie focused on conjuring his Spirit Whip, and let it strike out against the green demon. It growled, but seemed to ignore him as it turned to Janice.

"She might do better, Anko," the green demon snarled.

The kage demon shook her head, using her free arm to cut through Ryou's Ice Chain. "No, Mido. Lord Jichou wants one who shares the deceiver's blood." She turned to face Ryou.

Janice fired another Spirit Boomerang at the kage demon's back. The green demon -- Mido, as he had been addressed -- swiped at her with his nasty looking claws. Janice shrieked in pain as it cut into her arm.

"Janice!" Charlie shouted. He flicked his wrist, letting his Spirit Whip wrap around Mido's throat. He didn't know whether it was possible to strangle a demon or not, but it was worth a try. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Anko the kage demon slash at Ryou, who was trying to blast her back with a gust of icy wind.

He pulled on the Spirit Whip, trying to drag Mido away from Janice. The room seemed too small to be fighting in, so he knew it wouldn't do much good. Ryou cried out in pain, but he couldn't concern himself with the other fight at the moment. He had to focus. He had to--

Charlie's eyes widened as his torso suddenly seemed to explode with pain. He glanced down at himself to see the pointed end of Anko's shadow blade protruding from of his stomach. He screamed out as the blade twisted around inside him. The last thing he heard before everything went black was someone shout "Spirit Gun!"


	32. 06 The Demon Plane

**Chapter 6**: The Demon Plane  
[_January 2012_]

--- --- ---

Charlie grunted as he placed a jar of burn salve on the upper shelf. Even after a month had passed since he'd had a sword stuck through him, it still hurt to move or stretch too much. He was grateful that he was able to eat solid foods once more, although being restricted to administrative duties at the reservation was really starting to get to him.

He supposed he had no right to complain, though. He was alive, and somebody needed to inventory the supplies in the infirmary. Every dragon keeper was required to know basic first aid and healing, although there were Healers that lived on the reserve. Today he was helping at the infirmary, and tomorrow he would be going through some annoying paperwork at the office. The prospect of that was almost enough to make him want to tear his hair out.

He didn't, though. He knew that getting injured like that was part of fighting demons, and he'd certainly been injured enough times while working with dragons to understand the need to take it easy while recovering. It was nothing that Janice hadn't gone through before. She'd been similarly skewered by a sword a bit over a year ago.

Thinking about her made his stomach turn uncomfortably. At first, the slashes on her arm had been treated as just that. It wasn't until a week later when Charlie saw just how bad her injury really was. When Janice removed the bandages on her arm to change them, he could see that her skin was inflamed and a purplish-black color. The Healers at St. Mungo's didn't understand why that would be, as the injury had been disinfected properly. It was Karin who told him the reason why.

"_Poison," the ferry girl had said. "Grishnar demons have a toxin in their claws that's poisonous to humans. The normal antidote I would administer won't work on her right now."_

"_Why the hell not?" Charlie had demanded, folding his arms across his chest._

_Karin took a deep breath and gave him a serious look. "Well, it would, but it also would have a very strong chance of killing the child she's carrying."_

She went on to explain how exactly the antidote worked. It attacked anything foreign in the body, whether it be toxins, diseases, or parasites. It was likely that the antidote would treat the growing child in her as a foreign parasite and attack it. Even if their unborn child survived, it was too risky.

Without the antidote, the poison would slowly eat away at Janice's spirit energy, and eventually her life force. The plan was to wait for her to give birth and then administer the antidote. Since everyone's spirit energy was different, the poison would ignore that of their unborn child. While Charlie was grateful that their child would remain uninfected, he worried that Janice might not live long enough to give birth to their child. More than ever, it was out of the question for Janice to fight demons. So no matter how annoyed Charlie might be at his own injury and Healer's orders for him to 'take it easy', he would get through it.

Mechanically, he wrote down the quantity of jars of burn salve there were on a sheet of parchment. He could see the Healer on duty shoot him furtive looks, but chose to ignore them. He just wanted the day to be over so he could go home and make sure Janice was doing all right. She could live her life normally so long as she refrained from over-exerting herself or using spirit energy. She didn't like the idea of being 'grounded' in such a way, but it was better than the alternative.

"What's wrong, Weasley?" Healer Edwin Sutter asked after stealing another worried glance at him. "I know all this behind the scenes work isn't for you, but I know there's got to be something more on your mind for you to look so depressed."

Charlie shook his head as he walked over to a cabinet full of bandages. He didn't want to talk about it. Not with Sutter, at least. Sutter was a decent enough bloke, and had patched Charlie up a number of times, but there weren't too many people he wanted to talk to at the moment. Instead, he opted to sort through the bandages according to type and size.

He didn't bother to look to the door as it opened, focusing instead on counting the number of bandages. One would think that the Healers in the infirmary knew exactly what they had in stock and in what quantities, but apparently they'd gotten a bit behind on their inventory control.

"Who are you?" Sutter asked.

"I was sent here to collect him," the familiar voice of Ryou spoke from the doorway.

Charlie turned around in surprise. He hadn't spoken to the ice demon since the attack at Karin's office, although they'd seen one another around at the hospital, and later when Ryou visited Janice at home. While Ryou hadn't said anything, Charlie thought that he probably would rather save Janice's life at the expense of their child's.

"What are you doing here?" Charlie asked. "Did something happen to Janice?"

Ryou's expression was unreadable. "Come with me," he stated before turning back to the door and walking outside.

He knew that skiving off work wasn't something he could get away with for long. As it was, he was lucky to have been able to take time off to fight demons by pulling favors, or by pulling rank and seniority. He knew his boss wouldn't tolerate it for long, but he also had a bunch of vacation time accumulated as well. He would prefer to avoid using that, but he could always figure something out later.

"This is important," he said to Healer Sutton, who looked ready to object over the intrusion. "I probably won't be back until late, so just tell the boss I'll make it up to him somehow." Not waiting for an answer, he walked to the door.

"But… Weasley!" the Healer protested.

Charlie stepped outside, letting the door close behind him. He turned to Ryou, who was looking off in the distance at a dragon that could be seen flying just above a hill.

"Karin wants us all at the office," Ryou said, his hands in the pockets of his leather duster. "Something came up--"

"You didn't answer me about Janice," Charlie interrupted. "Did something happen to her?"

Ryou continued to look off in the distance. "Nothing happened to her. She's waiting for us at the office." He pulled a small toy boat out of his pocket. "This will take us right there."

Charlie frowned. "Why is Janice there? She's supposed to be taking it easy. She better not be thinking of going on an assignment."

Ryou didn't say anything as he held the toy out. Not happy in the least with Janice possibly going out on an assignment, Charlie touched the other end of the toy boat.

He felt the familiar jerk behind the navel of a portkey in use. With his still-sore injury, it was more than a little nauseating and just a bit painful. Still, they were on the front steps of the Tantei Detective Agency, so he couldn't complain too much. He had wondered how Ryou had gone from London to the reservation in Wales, and supposed he had taken a portkey.

Charlie reached to open the door, but Ryou grabbed his wrist before he could grab the doorknob. "Moping around like a whiny little fuckwit won't do either of you any good," Ryou said. "She's acts like she's strong, but she needs you to be strong."

Charlie glanced to him. "Ryou… I-- I'm sorry about all of this."

Ryou tilted his head and let go of his wrist. "It wasn't your fault. Now stop acting like she's already dead." He reached past Charlie to open the door. "Just because the normal antidote won't work doesn't mean there's nothing else that will." He brushed past Charlie to walk inside.

Charlie's eyes widened. Was there something else that could save Janice without endangering their child? Why hadn't such a thing been mentioned sooner?

He followed Ryou into the office to see an argument in progress. He was surprised to see that Fred and George were there, as was Tracy. Janice had her arm around Tracy, trying to calm her down. He wondered just what was going on.

"--If the Underworld hadn't botched things so bad!" George yelled.

Karin glared at him, standing in front of her chair with her hands on her desk. "You were informed of the situation and chose not to act! Do _not _try to pin the blame for this on us!"

Charlie leaned against the wall next to Ryou, trying to figure out what they were arguing about, and why he was called to the office.

"When demons are entering the human realm without proper authorization, it bloody well is the Underworld's fault!" George shouted back.

"_You _entered the human realm without authorization!" Karin yelled. "So did Fred and Kuroi! So don't give me that bullshit! The Underworld only gets involved if the demon proves themselves to be a threat!"

"Because as we all know," Ryou muttered, taking out a cigarette, "whoever shouts the loudest must be right."

Karin looked over at him. "Don't even think about lighting that in here," she said in a warning tone. She glanced to Charlie next to him. "I have an assignment for you and Ryou. It's extremely dangerous, but--"

"I already said that I would go!" George interrupted.

"I can't work with that idiot," Ryou said simply.

George glared at him. "What was that, you cross dresser?"

Karin pounded her hands on her desk. "Enough! George, you and Fred will be needed back here in the human realm while they're on assignment--"

"I'm not going to sit back while my daughter is missing!" George shouted, standing up.

Charlie's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

Janice turned to him. "Paige was abducted and taken to the demon plane."

"Tell him where she was right before she was abducted, George," Tracy said coldly.

George faltered and sat back down in his chair. "Er… Well… That is…"

Tracy looked over to Charlie. "Despite the fact that I explicitly set restrictions on how many hours Paige could play video games each day, George there decided he would undermine my authority by not only buying her a new portable game system, but he took her to the game shop instead of school today. And then he left her there to browse around while he went off on other errands."

"It was important to her. A new game came out today…" George muttered.

Tracy glared at him. "She said she wants to be a Squib because her video games won't work at Hogwarts! Her obsession is completely unhealthy!"

"But it makes her happy," George protested weakly. "She'll grow out of it eventually."

"She is completely antisocial, and her grasp on reality is rather tenuous," Tracy said heatedly. Janice gently pushed down on her shoulders to keep her seated. "I understand that she's naturally introverted, but she cannot live her life in a fantasy. She has no dreams or ambitions beyond defeating the next 'big boss' in whatever game she's playing."

George frowned. "She's only ten. You can't expect her to have her future all mapped out."

Tracy made a frustrated sound. "You just don't get it," she muttered, shaking her head.

Fred cleared his throat and looked to Charlie. "The only ones here who know their way around the demon plane are Ryou and Tracy. She isn't able to go, for obvious reasons, and it's better for two of us to stay behind to deal with any problems that might arise here. George and Ryou would probably end up killing one another if they went together, so Karin thought it would be better for you to go with Ryou to the demon plane. If you'd rather stay here, though, I'll go."

Charlie took in a deep breath. He looked to Tracy and George. She was pointedly looking away from George with an indignant expression on her face, while he was trying to 'reason' with her. Personally, Charlie felt that Tracy had a point. "Paige was taken from the game shop, wasn't she?" he asked.

Tracy nodded curtly. "Or somewhere thereabouts." She looked over to Charlie, her expression softening to a more worried one. "I know she'll be more or less safe. Of all my children, her spirit energy is the strongest. I know she's strong, and that my brother wouldn't do anything to hurt her, but--"

"Your brother?!" Charlie asked incredulously. He remembered Janice mentioning that Tracy had a brother in the demon plane. "That's who took her?"

"Demons working for him, to be precise," she corrected. "But, yes. Jichou won't hurt her, but he will manipulate her. He'll use her in any way that he can."

Charlie nodded. "I'll go," he volunteered. Right after saying it, looked to Ryou, who had ignored Karin's warning and lit up his cigarette anyway. "Er, unless you'd rather go with Fred?"

Ryou exhaled a bit of smoke and glanced to him. "Why are you asking me?"

"There's no telling how long you'll be there," Karin said. She had sat back down in her seat, and was rubbing her temples.

Ryou took a long drag off his cigarette, a thoughtful expression on his face. "While there's no doubt that Fred is the more experienced fighter, I can only stand to be around him for short periods of time before I get the urge to break his neck."

Fred glanced to him warily. "Er, thanks?"

"I'd rather not go back to the demon plane at all," Ryou said honestly. "If I have to go, I'd rather it be with someone who I won't feel like smothering in their sleep." He glanced to Charlie. "So long as you listen to what I tell you, going with you should be fine."

Karin nodded. "Now that it's decided who will go where, here's what you need to know…"

--- --- ---

Charlie and Ryou were only a few blocks away from the Ogre's Lair, facing a dumpster behind a corner grocery store. Charlie had a rucksack filled with a few essentials that he thought he might need: a spare change of clothes, a tent, porno magazines, and other such important items. He raised a hand to the collar around his neck, which would make him able to breathe the air in the demon plane. He was told the atmosphere was normally unbreathable by humans, and the collar would allow him to breathe normally. He wasn't about to argue.

He hoped that their trip to the demon plane would be a quick one. They knew where they had to go -- a city called Mekanos -- and Ryou would be able to guide them there. It was supposedly the hometown of Kuroi and her older brother Jichou.

"If anyone asks, you're my pet," Ryou said, searching the wall behind the dumpster for something. She was in a bad mood, having sneezed before leaving the office when Karin turned on a fan to try to dispel the smoke from the cigarette she was smoking. The fan had dispersed plenty of dust into her face, and Charlie had to hold her back from attacking the purple-haired ferry girl.

"Humans are viewed as inferior creatures," she continued. "Most demons are fairly neutral, but that's not always the case. You do _not _want some other demon try to enslave you. That also means when I tell you to do something, you do it without question."

Charlie nodded. He didn't fancy becoming a slave to anyone. "You're the boss while we're there. Got it."

Ryou glanced over her shoulder at him. "I left for a reason. I'd rather not go back there, but the demon plane has far more alternate remedies available than what can be found here or in the Underworld."

Charlie remembered what Ryou had hinted at before they entered the office of the Tantei Detective Agency. "You think you can find an antidote that's safe for Janice to take."

She turned back to investigating the wall. "Amongst other things, yes."

"A cure," Charlie said in understanding.

Ryou nodded once. She must have found what she was looking for, as the wall started to ripple under her hand. "Through here," she said, walking through the wall. Before she vanished from sight, Charlie quickly went after her.

The darkness that surrounded them was quite strange. White ripple-like circles moved past them as they seemed to float in mid-air. Charlie couldn't see any ground below him, and a glance behind him just showed a pinprick of light that broke the darkness. "Is this the demon plane?" he asked.

"This is the subspace that exists between the human realm and demon plane," Ryou said. "We'll be encountering the SDS toe rags soon enough." She glanced to him as they continued to float through the subspace. It was difficult to determine they were moving at all, were it not for the circles that moved behind them as though they were going through a tunnel. "They like to butt their noses in on the comings and goings of demons."

"Didn't they work for King Enma?" Charlie asked, remembering something Janice had told him when he first started substituting for her.

"They used to," she agreed. "They work for Koenma now, but they're still a bunch of wankers."

Charlie remained silent as they continued to float through the subspace. Soon, a golden light could be seen glowing in the distance. As they came closer, he could see that it appeared to be more like a net. The circles around them seemed to flatten out into a crisscross pattern, turning more blue than white, and they landed on what felt like ground.

Two men in white armor-like uniforms stood behind the golden net, sneering contemptuously at them. The taller of the two men had dark green hair pulled back into a ponytail and a hoop earring through one ear. He looked vaguely young, while the shorter of the men looked like he was middle-aged. The older man was portlier than his companion, with hair that could only be described as a bluish shade of gray.

The shorter man said something to his companion in rapid Japanese. Charlie just barely caught it as something incredibly rude, and no doubt something that neither he nor Ryou were meant to understand. The younger man chuckled and turned to them.

"You're not allowed past this point," the green-haired man said in a nasally voice full of contempt.

"We're on official business," Ryou said, equally contemptuous in her tone. "Since you buffoons let a pair of demons pass through with a human child, we were sent to rescue said child."

The older man snorted. "As if a filthy demon like yourself would care." He nudged the younger man. "Probably just wants to eat her, Nakama."

Nakama chuckled. "Might be better to let her through, Taicho. Less filth in the human realm, and some of the garbage back there have been getting a bit desperate for companionship, if you know what I mean." He sized Ryou up with a leer. "For a disgusting animal, she is quite a looker. Doesn't seem like she'd be much in a fight, though. I'd give her about ten minutes before someone tries to have their way with her. Another fifteen before she's bleeding to death from between her legs."

Charlie clenched his fists, feeling his blood boil at the utter vulgarity of the two men. He shoved out the badge he was given by Karin that identified him as an Underworld detective. "Let us by," he growled through clenched teeth.

The two men laughed like a pair of hyenas, but stood aside. An opening appeared in the golden net in front of them, giving Charlie and Ryou enough space to pass through. Taicho spoke in Japanese to Nakama, saying something about the arrogance of humans. Charlie chose to ignore their jeering, determined to continue on to the demon plane and leave them alone.

Once they were out of earshot of the two men, he turned to Ryou. "Those pigs were with the SDS?"

Ryou nodded curtly. "One of these days, they'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person and find themselves turned into bloody smears. The demon plane isn't as violent as they try to make it sound. Some places are as bad as they described, but we're not going to any of those places."

"I didn't think it was," Charlie said as they continued through the subspace.

Soon, they came close to what appeared to be the exit, as well as the source of the ripples of light. A big blue circle of light rippled before them, marking the entrance to the demon plane. Not hesitating for a moment, they passed through the portal.

The sky was a light shade of burgundy, with dark purple clouds overhead that crackled white lightning in the distance. The road beneath their feet was paved with odd-looking cobblestones, and the stench of rotting garbage immediate attacked their noses.

"This is the demon plane?" Charlie asked, holding his nose.

Ryou nodded as she glanced around. They were in an alleyway between two brick buildings. An overflowing dumpster was behind them, the obvious source of the smell. Her eye twitched. "We just had to end up _here_," she muttered, shaking her head. "Let's go," she said, stuffing her hands in her pockets and walking out of the alley.

"Is this Mekanos?" Charlie asked, looking around as they walked onto a crowded street full of merchant booths and various shops. Much to his surprise, he noticed that he was able to recognize the demons as such.

"Don't I wish," she replied. "We're in Gurenda. Mekanos is approximately a ten day journey from here on foot. Stay close to me and avoid making eye contact. I'd rather we get out of here before someone recognizes me, but we should get some supplies while we're here."

Charlie could have pointed out that they already had supplies, but decided it was best not to argue with her about it. He'd never been to the demon plane before, and didn't know quite what they might need that they didn't already have. At least the smell wasn't as bad as it had been when they were in the alley, but there was still a lingering odor in the air that smelled thick and metallic. He hoped Ryou's calculations on the time it would take them to get to Mekanos included time for rest, as even with the collar the air was thick with something that made it difficult to breathe.

He followed Ryou through the streets, passing several demons of all shapes and sizes. He tried to avoid looking at a couple scantily clad females who were obviously selling their bodies. He had no idea how much twenty zeni was in relation to Galleons, but he didn't have any of the demonic currency, and wasn't quite curious enough to pick up a demonic prostitute. They were on a mission, and if he ever did get curious about what it would be like to sleep with a demon, he could probably find one at the Ogre's Lair.

Ryou led them to a shop with bottles displayed in the window. Charlie couldn't read what the sign above the door read, as it wasn't in any language he recognized. He supposed that demons had their own language, and the sign was written in it.

"Is this a liquor store?" Charlie asked as they entered the shop. Sure enough, shelves were lined with various bottles containing liquids that appeared alcoholic. He recognized a few of the fancier labels as reading things like 'whiskey' or 'ale'.

She nodded. "The watered down shit they call alcohol in the human realm is weak. We won't be staying in this fleapit of a town for long, so we'll need provisions for the road. Find something that strikes your interest and meet me at the counter."

Charlie smirked. This was his kind of assignment.

--- --- ---

Charlie found it a bit difficult to tell when exactly the sun went down. The biggest problem was that he couldn't see the sun. He figured that it must have gone down, as the sky was gradually becoming a darker shade of burgundy. They'd been walking down a dirt road for what must have been hours until finally coming to a forest. He'd already been warned not to touch any of the foliage, as some of it could be quite lethal to unsuspecting travelers. Ryou had found a clearing for them to set up camp for the night, and was working on building a spit to roast a creature that vaguely resembled a boar. In retrospect, Charlie felt a bit foolish for neglecting to bring something as basic as food with him.

Apparently magic didn't work the way it normally did while in the demon plane. He'd tried to set up the tent with magic, only to have his spell blast a mark in a nearby tree. He gave up on using magic rather quickly, and was putting the finishing touches on erecting the tent the Muggle way. He just hoped that the tent would keep its magical properties, like being larger on the inside and having a loo. He really didn't want to lose any of his parts by relieving himself by any carnivorous plants.

"If we're ten days away from Mekanos," he said, standing up after driving the final stake into the ground, "does that mean it will take another ten days to get back to the portal?"

"Not necessarily," Ryou said, scowling as she tied vines around the boar-creature's feet. Despite the hours they'd spent in the demon plane, she had not reverted back to her male form. "There should be a portal close to the city. I've no idea where it ends up in the human realm, but that doesn't matter." Satisfied that the vines would hold, she slid a long stick between the boar's legs and began tying the stick and legs together.

Charlie walked over to help on starting the fire. Despite telling Ryou that the tent should have a kitchen in it, the demon insisted on cooking the creature the 'old-fashioned way'. Charlie supposed that since Ryou had hunted and killed the creature, she had the right to say just how it could be cooked. He had no idea how such a creature would be cooked, anyway. "You said before there might be another antidote…" he began, putting some sticks on the pit they'd made.

"There's an old medicine woman who lives near Mount Azule," Ryou said. "If an antidote exists, she knows of it. It's on the way to Mekanos." She looked to him. "I don't blame you for what happened. Just so we're clear on that."

Charlie took a book of matches out of his pocket. "If I'd done something about the demon stalking Percy sooner…" He lit a match and dropped it into the pile of sticks, which caught alight. "You even told me that I should be more concerned with finding the demon than watching a bunch of strippers. If I'd tried to grapple that one demon sooner…"

Ryou placed the boar onto the spit and walked over to him. She placed her hand on his shoulder as she knelt down next to him. "Stop blaming yourself."

Charlie turned to her. "They're the demons who abducted Paige. Even after Fred and George showed up, they got away."

"I was there, too," she reminded him. "But I know better than to feel sorry for myself and go over all these 'what ifs'."

"Janice is dying," Charlie said. "I could save her life, but it would kill my child." He added a piece of wood to the fire. "Karin told me that I could have been a father once. The mother miscarried when she was just a couple weeks along. I didn't ask when this was, or who the mother might have been, but…" He shook his head. "I can't."

Ryou stood up and silently walked over to where they'd placed the bottles of liquor by Charlie's rucksack. Grabbing a bottle, she walked back to the campfire and sat down next to him. "Ultimately, it was Janice's decision not to take the antidote. Her conscience would never allow her to sacrifice the life of an innocent to save her own."

"I'm the one who got her pregnant to begin with," Charlie said.

Ryou opened the bottle and handed it to him. "You weren't trying to."

He glanced at the bottle. It was full of some odd looking green liquid. Shrugging it off, he took a swig. He made a face and shuddered as the liquid burned down his throat. It was stronger than he thought it would be, and far more potent than anything he'd had to drink before. "I wasn't exactly taking precautions, and I should have. She's a great girl, and any guy would be lucky to be with her. It's just…" He let his voice trail off as he handed the bottle back to Ryou.

"It's just…?" she prompted, taking a swig.

Charlie sighed. "It's like there's a block. I like being with her and sleeping with her, and I feel like I'm really getting to know her. I know she's a girl that I could probably fall in love with, but I just can't seem to do it." After Ryou passed him the bottle back, he downed more of the green liquor and shuddered.

"So you're still just glorified fuck buddies," Ryou said. She stood up and took off her leather duster, tossing it in the general vicinity of their equipment.

He gave her a weird look as she sat back down. "I'd like to think it's more than that."

"You're friends, right?" she asked. "And the two of you fuck each other. So you're glorified fuck buddies."

Charlie scoffed at her crudeness. "It's not my fault that I feel like a bloody intruder in my own relationship." He took another sip of the potent drink and turned to Ryou. "It's like the two of you are dancing around, making excuses on why you're not together when it's obvious that you should be together. If she weren't knocked up with my kid, I probably would've told her to just stop making all these excuses and be with you already."

Ryou grabbed the bottle back from him. "If I wanted to be with her, you never would have been given the chance to enter the picture." She gulped down a couple shots of the liquor. "It sounds like you're the one making excuses. You either love someone or you don't. No rationalization is needed."

They fell into silence for a while, passing the bottle back and forth. Charlie tried to mull over his feelings for Janice in his mind. He wasn't quite sure just what it was that prevented him from falling in love with her. Even if he tried to eliminate Ryou from the equation, he still didn't think that was the reason.

While he was thinking, the meat finished cooking. Ryou took it off the fire, passing him a meaty leg. "What do you think the problem is?" he asked.

"You're trying too hard," she said simply. "Love is one of those things that will find you. Probably where and when you least expect it. You can't force it with anyone."

Wordlessly, Charlie took a bite of the meat. It was surprisingly good, although quite unlike anything he'd ever had before. He glanced up at the sky, which was a dark shade of burgundy. Bright yellow stars could be seen in the horizon. Swallowing his food, he turned to Ryou. "How long's it been since we got here, anyway?" he asked, making a gesture as if to encompass the entirety of the demon plane.

She frowned. "Too long."

Charlie took another bite. He supposed that Ryou's curse worked differently in the demon plane, as she hadn't reverted back to her male form yet. He knew that well more than three hours must have passed since they arrived. "I know you hate asking for help, but since you're not changing back after the time limit, do you want me to help you change back?"

Ryou glanced to him. "Should I be suspicious of how you transitioned from a conversation about love to asking if you could kiss me?"

Charlie blinked. "What? I didn't mean it like that!"

Ryou shrugged. "I don't know… You did say to me once that if it wasn't for your involvement with Janice that you would offer to have sex with me."

"I'm not in love with you!" Charlie protested.

Ryou smirked. "That _would _explain why you can't bring yourself to fall in love with Janice. And she _did _seem awfully concerned over the time you spend with me…"

He was about to shout something back at her when he noticed that her eyes were twinkling with concealed mirth. He couldn't recall a time where he'd ever seen Ryou laugh or smile, but it struck him that she was teasing him. He decided that he'd turn the tables. He smirked slightly as he deadpanned, "I think she was actually more concerned that it was your name I was calling out while we were having sex. While she was wearing a strap-on."

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "At least you know who'd be in control if I reciprocated your feelings for me."

Charlie laughed. "Point taken. You're not in love with her."

"And you should stop concerning yourself with what other people want," Ryou said, taking a bite of meat. "Your life will become far less complicated if you focus on what _you _want."

He supposed she had a point about that. The hardest part was figuring out what exactly it was that he wanted after his entire life had been turned upside down.

--- --- ---

Three days into their journey, they came across one of the harsh realities of traveling: the need to bathe and wash clothes. Much to Charlie's chagrin, the tent did not retain its magical qualities, so there was no loo to bathe in, nor was there any form of running water. Thankfully, the area they were passing through had a stream of relatively clean-looking water. Well, he hoped that it was clean. He wasn't sure whether pink-colored water was what was considered clean or not. At least it didn't have flecks of debris in it.

"You really should have brought a change of clothes," he said as he sat at the edge of the stream, pulling off his socks.

"I prefer not to overload myself with a bunch of crap," Ryou said, carefully setting her leather duster on a nearby rock. She was still in her female form, although didn't seem as cranky about it as usual. Charlie found that to be a bit odd, but wasn't about to say anything.

"Yet you bought a fair amount of booze," he teased.

"Necessary for travel," she replied, taking off her shirt. "We'll reach the foothills of the Katarr mountain range soon. Bandits frequently roam near there, and it's usually better to have something to placate them." She looked over at him. "Unless you plan on distracting them by appealing to their baser desires, that is."

Charlie shook his head. "Pass." He frowned as he thought of something. "Paige should be alright for now, shouldn't she? Jichou wouldn't touch her like that, would he?"

"He wouldn't do anything like that," Ryou said. "It's doubtful he'd let anyone touch his niece like that, either. He took her to punish Yoru for breaking the rule about gaining permission to court Kuroi. I suppose he figured she'd be a better hostage than that nebbish-looking brother of yours."

Charlie rolled his eyes as he took off his trousers. "Why go through so much trouble, though?"

"He's an overdramatic drama queen," she said. "His minions also mentioned something about blood. He might be trying to access whatever treasure Yoru left behind. It wouldn't surprise me if that idiotic kitsune set up some sort of trap that could only be dismantled by someone who shares his blood." She stood up, picking up her clothes and carrying them to the stream to wash.

"That's possible?" Charlie asked, glancing over at her. His eyes widened as he realized that she had stripped down completely. "You're washing _all _of your clothes? Even your underwear?"

She glanced back at him. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm here?" Charlie said, phrasing it more like a question.

Ryou rolled her eyes and bent down by the stream, dipping her jeans into the water. "There's no point in washing the rest of my clothes if I don't wash all of them. The same goes for you. Unless you plan on walking around in the same unwashed pair of boxer shorts that you've been wearing for the past few days, that is."

Charlie felt his face flush as he knelt down by the stream as well. He'd never really thought of Ryou in a sexual way before, but he'd never had reason to. Ryou was in her male form most of the time, and even when in female form, she wore baggy clothes that would obscure any curves that she had. Seeing her completely starkers, though, made him realize that she was quite pretty and had really nice curves. He had to tell himself that she was really a guy to prevent a certain part of his anatomy reacting to her. It wasn't helping that much.

"I'm surprised we haven't run into that many demons yet," he said, trying to take his mind off the naked woman mere feet away.

Ryou grunted. "Gurenda's in the middle of nowhere, and there's nothing of interest there. We'll be encountering more demons as we get closer to Mekanos. If it wouldn't add three days to our time, I'd suggest taking an alternate route to bypass the bandits of Katarr."

Charlie tilted his head as he scrubbed at his shirt. "Why's that?"

"I don't want to be recognized," she said simply. "Why do you think that I haven't had you help me turn back?"

Normally, Charlie could have cracked a joke about how that might be because of his previous joke about the strap-on. Under the circumstances, however, he'd rather avoid having her look at him. He still had yet to remove his boxers, and was hoping that his erection would go away soon. "Does it have something to do with why you left the demon plane?"

Ryou was silent for a few moments, which Charlie had learned was indicative that she was thinking of how best to answer a question. "Do you remember what I told you about how courting a demon without the permission of their guardian was something that just isn't done?"

Charlie nodded. "That's what this Jichou guy is so pissed off at George for. Is that what you did?"

Ryou shook her head. "Don't I wish I was that lucky. No, I ran away for the opposite reason. Sometimes demons will arrange marriages for their offspring. My parents sold me when I was young to pay off some debts. The demon who purchased me had a daughter who decided that she wanted to marry me someday. My guardian -- her father -- agreed. I can't stand her. I decided to take my chances in the human realm."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You have a fiancée?"

Ryou made a face. "Izuna likes to _think_ she's my 'fiancée'," she muttered darkly. "Some of the bandits are old drinking buddies of mine. I don't think they would recognize me like this, since I was cursed about a month after I came to the human realm. I'd rather them not recognize me. Izuna's probably put a bounty on my head. She's certainly done everything in her power to make my life as difficult and miserable as possible."

Charlie nodded sympathetically. For Ryou's sake, he hoped they didn't run into her fiancée or anyone else who recognized her.

Ryou stood up, taking her cleaned clothes over to a nearby tree. She began to hang her clothes up to dry. Charlie opted to remain where he was, even though his clothes were ready to hang up as well. He still had a bit of an erection from witnessing her nude form. As she walked back to the stream to bathe, he had to force himself to look away from her well-rounded breasts. He tried not to think about how there was no doubt that her hair was naturally blue, as evidenced by her soft blue pubic hair. Whatever the status of their relationship was, he was with Janice, and he shouldn't have such thoughts about other women. Especially her best friend. Even though she wasn't really a woman.

"You're not going to wash your underwear?" Ryou asked as she grabbed a bar of soap and waded into the waist-deep water.

He grunted noncommittally. "I can go commando. Or I could use the spare pair that I brought."

She rolled her eyes. "You're wearing your spare pair." She began to lather herself up. Charlie looked down at the ground as she moved her hands over her breasts, his face bright red. Ryou paused and narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong with you?" she asked. "You haven't even bothered to hang your clothes up yet, and you know we don't have all day."

Charlie gathered his cleaned clothes in front of him, making sure to carefully conceal the bulge in his boxers. "You don't have any sense of modesty, do you?" As he hung his clothes, he made sure to keep his back to her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.

"How would you react if some woman got naked in front of you?" he asked, trying to hint at what his problem was without stating it.

Ryou's eye twitched. "I am not 'some woman'."

"You look like one right now," he said. "I know you're not, but--"

"You have got to be kidding me," Ryou muttered. "Turn around."

Charlie shook his head. He was already regretting saying anything. "Let's work out a deal. You finish up there, and then I'll wash my boxers and bathe while you go off and do whatever, and then--" He stopped as he felt ice encase him up to his ankles. "Fuck, that's cold!" he swore, trying to break out of the ice.

"Stop being a whiny baby and hurry the hell up," Ryou demanded as Charlie stepped out of the ice. "You don't have anything that I haven't seen before, and I don't care that you have so little self-control that you'd get a hard-on over me."

Charlie glared at her, but walked over to the stream, stepping in. The water was a lot warmer than he thought it would be. Once he was in the water, he stripped off his boxer shorts. "It has nothing to do with a lack of self-control," he protested as he began to wash his boxers. "Let's see how well you can control yourself in the presence of an attractive naked woman." He paused. "Even if she's not really a woman," he added hastily.

Ryou rolled her eyes and waded over to him. Charlie froze as she stopped right in front of him. She locked eyes with his. "You're not in your safe little world anymore. The demon plane can be a harsh place, and there are many who will use any means to achieve victory. Banditry is an equal opportunity occupation, and there are females who will use their sexuality to distract males and gain the upper hand. In this world, if you don't learn to control your bodily urges, it can cost you your life."

Charlie nodded as he sat his boxers down on a rock near the shore. He could understand what she was saying, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. "This normally doesn't happen," he muttered. "I usually do have better control than this."

Ryou just looked at him skeptically for a few moments. "If this is unusual for you, it seems to me that maybe I wasn't so far off with what I said the other night. Maybe you are in love with me."

"I've never thought of you that way before!" Charlie protested.

She shrugged. "Maybe not, but you're obviously thinking of me that way right now." She turned away and waded back to her previous spot. "Hurry up so we can get out of here. These waters are infested with leeches, and I don't think you know how to use your spirit energy to keep them away."

Charlie's eyes widened, and he cursed loudly at his traveling companion. This was going to be a long trip.


	33. 07 Bandits, Fiancées, and Old Goats

**Chapter 7**: Bandits, Fiancées, and Old Goats  
[_January 2012_]

--- --- ---

While Charlie was glad to get out of the forests with all the weird trees and foliage (not to mention the oddly colored streams with leeches), he wasn't sure that the rocky region they'd entered was much better. For one thing, the wind was extremely cold. It didn't help that their clothes were still damp from being washed, but it would have been nice if Ryou had told him that it would be snowing. At least the snow looked normal enough.

"It's your own fault," Ryou commented as they walked along the road. "You were the one who decided not to dress for the winter. It's the middle of January."

"I was working in a heated room before coming here," Charlie said, shivering. He really wished he'd brought a jacket. The temperature had so far been nice and warm, so the coldness came as an unpleasant surprise. "And how could it be so warm at the stream and so cold here? They're just a couple miles apart."

"Welcome to the demon plane," Ryou said. "Just be grateful I'm not leading us through the Desert of Despair. You'd be whining about how hot it is there. And how the hell can you be cold? It's not even below zero."

Charlie glared at her. "Just because you're an ice demon…"

Ryou smirked. "I suppose there is that." She stopped and took off her leather duster. "If you lose it, or get it dirty or torn, I will kick your arse." She handed him the coat.

Charlie blinked, but took the coat. "Er, thanks," he said, putting it on. He glanced around. "So bandits frequent this area?"

She nodded. "Be on your guard."

As they continued down the road, the terrain grew rockier. Boulders surrounded the road. Charlie couldn't help but notice that there were plenty of spaces for a person to hide.

It wasn't long before a large demon with dark brown skin and the head of a bull stepped out from behind a boulder, blocking their path. "What have we here?" he mused aloud, folding his arms across his chest.

Behind them, another demon cackled. "Looks loike we got us one of them oice goils and a human."

Charlie began to gather his energy to form his Spirit Whip, but Ryou put a hand on his arm and shook her head. He stopped gathering his energy, but remained on alert. They were surrounded by no fewer than six demons, and more were coming out of hiding.

"A koorime, you think?" a third demon asked. "I heard rumors that one of them left the glacier years ago and took up with some goofy looking redhead in the human realm." The third demon was tall and lanky, and had yellow skin with green stripes. He stepped closer to them, scrutinizing them. "You think this might be them?"

"She's not a koorime," another demon chimed in, walking up from behind the bull-headed demon. This one looked relatively human. He could easily have been mistaken for a Weasley, as his spiked hair was the same shade of reddish orange as Charlie's. His bright yellow eyes were all that betrayed him as not human. He looked no older than nine or ten years old. With the way the other demons seemed to defer to him, it appeared as though he might be the child of someone important in the gang of demon bandits. Then again, he didn't necessarily have to be the child of anyone important, as apparent age was not indicative of anything amongst demons.

Ryou tilted her head and said something in a language that Charlie didn't understand. The demon child smiled widely and replied in the same language. The other demons around acted as if they understood what was being said, as their stances relaxed somewhat, although none put away their weapons.

In the distance, they heard a shout. "Sweepers are coming in from the north!"

The bull-headed demon looked around at his fellow bandits. "You heard the sentinel! Abort the ambush and clear out!"

Many of the demons disappeared back behind various boulders, leaving only the demon child remaining in the road. The child smiled at them. "You should come with us back to camp," he said. "It's not safe to travel when the Sweepers are out."

"What are Sweepers?" Charlie asked.

The child looked around nervously, although he didn't let his smile falter. "There's no time to explain. Let's go."

After Ryou reassured him that it would be fine, they followed the child off the road through the crags and crevices of the mountains.

"Sweepers are soldiers from the city that are trying to interfere," the child said, expertly navigating the maze-like terrain. "They claim they're trying to make the roads safer to travel, but they're worse than we are. Our last chief was killed by Sweepers when he tried to stop them from raping a woman who couldn't pay her 'protection fee'."

He led them further into the rocky terrain, and soon they reached a small encampment in a cleared-out region of the mountains. A raging bonfire burned in the center of the encampment. A few of the demons from the road could be seen returning to the camp, while others were moving around between tents.

"Wait here," the demon child said before running off to one of the larger tents.

Charlie turned to Ryou. "Why exactly did we follow him here?"

"His Youki seemed vaguely familiar, so I asked him who his father was. Turns out I know him," she said, folding her arms across her chest. "Kaji owes me about seventy-five zeni, the wanker. We might as well get some information while we're here. These 'Sweepers' sound like bad news."

Charlie nodded. "I wonder if they have anything to do with Jichou."

Ryou scoffed. "I doubt it. The city he was referring to is likely Bakhan. It was under the Underworld's control when I left. You heard how those pigs of the SDS spoke at the checkpoint in subspace."

"You think the Sweepers are affiliated with the Underworld?" Charlie asked, his eyes wide.

"The Underworld causes more problems that it solves," she said. "I don't know about you, but I don't plan on finding out, because I don't plan on running into them."

Charlie was about to say something when he was interrupted by a shrill female voice exclaiming, "An ice demon?!"

Ryou visibly cringed, her eyes widening in panic. "Do not call me by my name," she hissed, ducking behind Charlie as a woman dashed out of the tent the demon child had entered. The woman had curly blonde hair pulled high into a ponytail, and wore clothes that reminded Charlie of a genie. She didn't look demonic at all, although he supposed she was a demon.

"Is it my darling?" the woman asked, looking around. Charlie raised an eyebrow as she approached them. "You must be the human Katsuhiko was talking about," she said, trying to look behind Charlie at Ryou. "And… You're female." Her expression deflated and she sighed. "I was hoping that my darling had returned to me."

A demon with hair just as fiery orange as the child emerged from the tent, followed by the demon child. "What have I told you about harassing every ice demon that comes through here, Izuna?"

"Izuna?" Charlie repeated. He glanced back to Ryou. "Wasn't that the name of your--"

"My dog!" Ryou interrupted in a high-pitched voice. She laughed and waved a hand in front of her. "I used to have a dog named Izuna. She was eaten by a bear. Funny story, really. Let's not talk about her."

The woman named Izuna shot Ryou a weird look before turning to the demon that followed her out. "It's been fifteen years, Kaji, and my beloved darling has yet to return to me! He must be worried sick without me!"

Kaji sighed and shook his head. He walked past her to address Charlie and Ryou. "My apologies. Izuna's fiancé was an ice demon that went missing years ago. Whenever she hears of an ice demon traveling through these parts, she checks to see if it's him."

Charlie chuckled. There was no doubt that the blonde woman was Ryou's self-proclaimed fiancée. "Not a problem," he said. "I hope you find your 'beloved darling' soon," he added to Izuna, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He ignored the dark glare Ryou shot him.

Kaji glanced to Izuna. "Go check the perimeter," he ordered. "Make sure it'll hold in case the Sweepers try another raid."

She nodded. She looked at Ryou oddly one last time before heading off to the perimeter.

Kaji watched her leave, and then gestured for Ryou and Charlie to follow him. "We'll talk inside my tent. We've got a bit of catching up to do."

Katsuhiko the child demon smiled. "Dad remembers you."

Ryou cringed, but followed them to their tent. Not wanting to be left behind, Charlie followed. The inside of the tent looked a bit bigger than it had outside, much like magical tents did. There was a circular throw rug in the center, and two cots on either side of the tent. Against one 'wall' was a table that had various knick-knacks on top of it. Kaji sat down on one edge of the rug, and gestured for the others to do the same.

"I owe you money," he said to Ryou. He smirked. "But you owe me more, I reckon."

Ryou glared at him. "You're an unbelievable son of a bitch, you know that?"

Kaji chuckled. "I'm not going to ask why you have tits, but I hope you realize that your Youki still feels the same after all these years. Lucky you that Izuna isn't very good at recognizing individual Youki signatures."

"You inbred goat-molesting cock stain," Ryou swore.

Kaji smiled pleasantly at her. "Blackmail is such an ugly word."

"Much like your face, you arse-sniffing eunuch," Ryou snarled.

Katsuhiko laughed and glanced to Charlie. "You're human, right? What brings you here?"

Charlie looked over to him. "My niece was kidnapped and taken to the demon plane. She's being held in the city of Mekanos by her uncle Jichou."

"Jichou?" Kaji looked over to him. "Kuroi had a child?"

"Several," Charlie said. "She married my brother George a little over thirteen years ago. They've got eight kids together. Well, nine if you count the one she's pregnant with now."

"Before we leave, we need information," Ryou said. "Tell us whatever you can about these 'Sweepers', as well as anything else that might be good to know."

Kaji looked hesitant at first, but once Ryou brought out several bottles of the alcohol she had purchased at Gurenda, he acquiesced. Charlie quickly figured that they were old friends based off the way they spoke to one another and caught up with one another. As the alcohol was passed around, Kaji informed them that the Sweepers first appeared about five years ago, launching a vicious assault that claimed the lives of several of the Katarr bandits, including that of Kaji's mate Kiria. Travel wasn't very safe when the Sweepers were out.

"We have to get to Mekanos," Ryou said as she lit up a cigarette. She passed the pack to Kaji, who looked at it curiously. "It's from the human realm."

Kaji nodded. "What do camels have to do with cigarettes?" he mused aloud as he took a cigarette from the pack. He glanced to Katsuhiko, who was drinking a glass of sake and was looking a bit red in the face. "Feel like taking up smoking, kid?"

Katsuhiko hiccupped and shook his head. With a goofy grin on his face, he looked over at Charlie. "You're human," he said. "You should *hic* auction off some human stuff 'n give me the money."

Charlie glanced to Kaji. "Er, should he be drinking?"

Kaji laughed and waved him off. "The earlier he learns to hold his liquor, the better off he'll be."

Charlie nodded, giving Katsuhiko a weird look as the boy sidled up to him and slurred, "I'll never forget *hic* what you said to me that night…"

Ryou chuckled as she was drinking. She quickly set her glass back down as she clapped a hand over her mouth. After a few seconds of making a face, she sneezed.

Ryou's curse apparently worked in reverse while in the demon plane. While normally, he would turn into a female when he sneezed in the human realm, he reverted to his male form after sneezing.

Ryou blinked. "Bloody hell," he said. A panicked look crossed his face as the flap to the tent opened and Izuna walked in.

"The perimeter's secure," she said. "The Sweepers won't-- Darling!" Ryou resembled a deer caught in headlights as she practically lunged at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Oh, how I missed you, my darling! You must have been so lonely without me, but I'm here. I won't let you go again, I promise."

Charlie raised an eyebrow as Ryou attempted to squirm out of her grasp. He felt a bit bad for his friend, who obviously was not happy to see her in the least. "We should be heading off soon," Charlie said, getting up. "I know you said Jichou won't do anything seriously bad to her, but I'm still worried about Paige. George and Tracy are probably worried sick, and we still need to swing by Mount Azule to find an antidote for Janice."

"Liquor cures everything!" Katsuhiko proclaimed.

Kaji reached over and cuffed him in the back of the head. "Stop acting like an idiot! I taught you better than this!"

Katsuhiko pouted and said something in the unfamiliar language he'd been speaking with Ryou earlier.

Charlie glanced to Ryou, who was looking increasingly uncomfortable and irritable at Izuna's smothering. She was attempting to kiss him while he was jerking his head away and trying to squirm away from her. He had a suspicion that she would be following them as they continued their journey. "Are you ready to leave yet?" he asked.

"Unhand me, you harpy!" Ryou shouted, pushing Izuna away from him as he stood up. "_We _have business to attend to and you are _not _coming with us!"

--- --- ---

Charlie could not blame Ryou in the least for being grumpy and irritable. He normally thought of himself as relatively easy-going, but Izuna's constant whining and complaining was getting on his very last nerve. There were a few times when he'd had to step between them to prevent Ryou from going berserk against her.

They were just hours away from Mount Azule, although they'd set up camp for the night. Disturbing the hermetic medicine woman Shin would not be a good idea when they were hoping to find an antidote for Janice and possible cure for Ryou. Particularly since they had no money to pay for any services, unless they used the money Izuna had with her.

Ryou had reverted to her female form about three hours after leaving the bandit camp, which was one of the things Izuna liked to complain about.

"Change back," Izuna said, sitting close to Ryou in front of the campfire. "When I make love to my darling, I want my beloved to be all man. I'm not a lesbian."

Ryou's eye twitched, and the temperature around her seemed to drop. "Get away from me," she growled through gritted teeth. Izuna moved away from her a little as frost began to form in her hair.

Charlie sighed and added another piece of wood to the fire. He hoped the cooking stew hadn't grown cold as a result of Ryou dropping the temperature around them. "I really wish magic worked here," he muttered. The sleeping arrangements had been rather irksome. Ryou insisted that she was fine sleeping in a tree, as she did not want to share a tent with Izuna. Unfortunately, there weren't any trees with low enough branches.

Izuna looked over at him disdainfully. "Why don't you just go back to the human realm and leave me and my darling alone?"

Charlie glared at her. "Your 'darling' has a name, which I've never once heard you use. If you truly cared about Ryou, you would know enough to refer to him by name. It also shouldn't matter what form he's in at the time. And you know perfectly well that we're on a rescue mission. I'm not going back without my niece."

Ryou nodded, placing a hand parallel to the ground between herself and Izuna. Slowly, a wall of ice formed between them. "Paige is one of the few midgets I can actually stand."

Izuna frowned. "Who is this Paige girl? Is she pretty?"

"She's ten," Charlie said, rolling his eyes.

Izuna huffed. "She's old enough to fend for herself. My darling was entering tournaments and winning when he was only ten." She scowled at the wall of ice that separated her from Ryou, and then turned to Charlie. "Could you just kiss him already so I can have my darling back the way he's supposed to be?"

Charlie glanced over to her and tilted his head. They hadn't discussed Ryou's curse beyond mentioning how he changed gender when he sneezed and would revert back after a few hours passed. They never mentioned that kissing would restore him to his normal form. With the way the curse seemed to be reversed in the demon plane, it was possible that specific condition was reversed as well: a female's kiss would turn a male Ryou into his female form.

"I'm not going to kiss Ryou for your amusement," Charlie said.

Izuna frowned at him. "I don't see why he's bothering to accompany you on such a journey. Darling should come home with me so we can finally be married and--"

"He's my partner," Ryou interrupted, stirring the stew in the pot. She shot a look at Charlie from across the campfire that said not to contradict her.

Izuna looked over to her. "Partner? What is that supposed to mean?" She looked between them. "You're not…?" A look of comprehension dawned on her face and she turned to Ryou. "Darling, I can understand if our time apart has driven you to experiment with deviant behavior, but--"

Ryou's eye twitched. "Just shut up," she growled. She stood up and walked over to their supplies, grabbing some bowls. When she sat back down by the fire, she sat down next to Charlie. Leaning close to him, she whispered in his ear, "Play along."

Charlie quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. He knew that Ryou's pride seldom allowed her to ask for any form of help.

Izuna huffed as Ryou tossed her a bowl. "Isn't there anything to eat other than stew?" she asked. "That's practically all they serve at the bandit camp."

"If you don't like it, don't eat it," Charlie said. "We never asked for you to come along with us."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Now that I've found my darling, I refuse to leave his side again. Besides, the Sweepers would have found you by now if I hadn't set up wards around camp."

"We're not bandits," Charlie said.

"You're not," Ryou muttered.

Izuna glared coldly at Charlie for a few moments. "You're a spell caster. How do I know you don't have my beloved under some sort of spell to turn him away from me?" She glanced to Ryou briefly. "That's why he's stuck like that, isn't it? You did something to him, and now he's stuck as a woman!"

Charlie sighed, rubbing his temples. Her irrational accusations were getting on his nerves. "I didn't do anything to him."

"Change him back! If you kiss him, he should turn back into my man!"

"It doesn't work like that," Charlie said through gritted teeth. He snuck a glance to Ryou, who also seemed to have noticed that Izuna knew things she shouldn't know about the curse. "I also told you that we're not going to kiss for your amusement."

"It's alright," Ryou said. "It might settle some of her doubts if we do."

Before Charlie could reply, Ryou placed her lips against his. It wasn't like the chaste kiss they'd shared before, which happened solely so Ryou could revert to his male form. He could feel a fair amount of uncertainty and tentativeness in the kiss. Charlie suspected that Ryou had never really kissed anyone like she meant it. He supposed that shouldn't be too surprising; Ryou didn't strike him as the type to have several romantic relationships in the past.

He found himself deepening the kiss, gently pulling her closer to him. Maybe it was because she wasn't transforming into a guy, but he found himself enjoying the feel of her soft lips against his. While it was still rather innocent as far as kisses went, he felt a jolt of arousal go through him.

He pulled away from her once it registered in his mind that he was not only enjoying the kiss, but actually getting turned on by it. _That _was just confusing and not the intent of either of them. He was well aware that he was probably blushing when he glanced to Izuna and said, "See? I told you it didn't work like that."

Izuna huffed and determinedly looked away from the pair of them. For the rest of the evening, she refused to speak with either of them, which suited them just fine.

--- --- ---

Shin lived in a small cabin on Mount Azule. The walls were lined with jars of various ingredients, liquids, and powders. A huge black cauldron bubbled in the center of the room. Next to it was a table covered with open books and notes. Izuna was looking at various jars as Charlie and Ryou spoke to the old medicine woman.

"The poison of a grishnar demon is bad news," Shin said was she hobbled towards the table. She vaguely resembled a goat, with long curving horns, droopy ears, and even a small white beard. She used a cane to help move about. Flipping through the pages of a book, she traced a gnarled finger through the text. "And the girl's human, you say?"

Charlie nodded. "We know of an antidote already, but--"

"It should be administered as soon as possible, if this girl wishes to live," Shin said. "The longer the poison is allowed to linger in one's system, the less effective any antidote is."

"We're trying to find an alternate to the one we have," Ryou said, standing in the doorway that led outside, smoking a cigarette. "She's pregnant, and the antidote we have will kill her unborn child."

Shin tutted. "It doesn't take long for the poison of a grishnar demon to consume all of a human's spirit energy and life force. No more than a season or two, depending on how strong the girl's spirit is. Without the antidote, the girl might not live long enough to give birth to the child." She continued to skim through the pages. "There might be another option… Risky, but it's there."

"What is it?" Charlie asked, leaning forward in the chair he was sitting on.

Shin looked up at him. "There is a way for a human to be turned into a demon. If the girl were to be turned into a demon, she would be able to combat the poison with her Youki. As it stands, the child will be safe from the poison, as it will not transmit from mother to child. Is it safe to assume the mother is past the first trimester?"

Charlie nodded. "She's twenty-five weeks along."

Shin looked back down at the book. "I'll warn you now that it's highly risky. If she were to turn into a demon, taking on her demonic visage could kill the child."

Charlie's eyes widened.

Ryou exhaled a puff of smoke. "The Youki emitted during transformation could toast the kid, right?" At Shin's nod, she shrugged. "I've heard of that happening before. Kuroi got knocked up by some human after getting careless. She let the idiot cast some sort of birth control spell on her. He was a powerful enough wizard that his spell neutralized her instinctive use of spirit energy. When she took her demon form a couple weeks later, the kid was flash-fried due to the Youki overload."

Charlie glanced back at her. "I didn't know that Tracy ever had a miscarriage."

Ryou shrugged. "Why should you? It's not something she goes around talking about. Besides, Chloe would never have been born if she hadn't miscarried. She couldn't exactly conceive again if she was already pregnant." She glanced to Shin. "How does the whole human to demon thing work?"

"There's an elixir I can make," Shin said. "It will transform her heart into a demon nucleus, and convert her Reiki to Youki. I can make it in case you decide to use it."

Charlie's mind raced as he continued to weigh his options. As it was, the antidote would likely be ineffective by the time Janice was able to take it, and she would probably die. But becoming a demon… Still, it had the best chance of success for survival of both mother and child, so long as Janice avoided transforming into her demonic visage. He nodded, and then hung his head down.

"I was curious as to whether you might know of a cure for my condition," Ryou said from the doorway. She stubbed out her cigarette and walked into the room. She pulled a faded piece of paper out of her pocket. "I was cursed to change gender. I have the notes here." She placed the paper on the table.

Shin began examining the note. "Marvelous craftsmanship," she said. "I will, of course, need to examine you. I ask your companions to leave us briefly so I can do so."

Charlie nodded, heading toward the door. He knew his friend would prefer privacy. While Ryou tried not to show just how much the curse bothered him, the search for a cure was a major driving force to the ice demon.

Izuna was hesitant to leave Ryou's side at first, but after the glare she received, she too went outside.

Charlie watched a few chickens wander the yard around the cabin, briefly marveling in how some things about the demon plane weren't too different than in the human realm. While the sky was an unusual shade of lavender, the grass still looked like normal grass. He leaned against a tree where some round purple fruit was growing.

"If you know what's good for you, you should stay away from my darling," Izuna said as she approached him. "He belongs with me, so he can be whole again."

Charlie glared over at her. He barely knew her, but she was really getting on his nerves with her constant disdain and disrespect. He still found it rather curious that she knew that kissing another guy would normally change Ryou from female form to male form. He remembered what Ryou had told him about how she had made his life miserable when growing up, and how it wouldn't be surprising to hear that she put a bounty out on him. "Why did you assume that he'd turn male if I kissed him?" he asked, deciding to get to the point.

She smiled at him in a patronizing manner. "Isn't that how it goes in the fairy tales? The prince is afflicted by some horrible curse, and only his true love can break the curse."

He looked at her with guarded suspicion. "So what does that make me, then? He didn't change when you'd assume he would."

"You're just one of the ugly little trolls trying to keep my darling from me," Izuna said. "He's meant to be with me. Once he realizes that and marries me, the curse will be broken."

Charlie scoffed. "Life isn't a fairy tale. Even if Ryou surrendered to some bout of temporary insanity and married you, he would still change gender whenever he sneezed." He narrowed his eyes as she began to laugh. "You never really answered my question. Without any of this 'fairy tale' nonsense, what makes you think that Ryou would have turned back to his male form if I kissed him?"

"Because that's how it's supposed to work," she said smugly. "If he kisses a man, he'll turn into another man."

"But how do you know?" Charlie asked.

"Because that's how it's supposed to work," she repeated in a condescending tone. "How was I to know that it would work different here?"

He just looked at her in silence while the wheels turned in his mind. "Did you have anything to do with the curse on him?" he asked.

She smiled. "I must admit that I am a bit disappointed that it hadn't turned out _exactly _how I envisioned. Subcontracting _is _such a pain. But--"

Charlie did not consider himself to be a violent person. He thought of himself as rather easy-going, actually. But he was still a Weasley, and had the temper to match. Izuna's admission of guilt just caused something inside him to snap. Words failed to describe just how outraged and disgusted he felt.

Blood boiling, he slapped her across the face, interrupting her before she could complete her sentence. He glared at her as she turned to him in shock. "Ryou is in there right now, trying to find a cure to a curse that _you _had placed on him. Maybe if you weren't such a selfish bitch you'd understand just why it is that he can't stand you, so let me spell it out for you--"

"You hit me," she said in shock, holding a hand to her cheek.

"You claim to love him, but you don't possess an ounce of respect or consideration for his feelings," he continued as if she hadn't said anything. "You act as if he's nothing more than a possession--"

She frowned. "Maybe they do things different in the human realm, but--"

"That has nothing to do with it," he interrupted again. "You can't _force _him to love you, and using such a despicable method to get what you want proves that you don't love him, either."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "My darling loves me. He just doesn't realize it yet."

Charlie glanced briefly to the door of the cabin before turning back to her. "You're going to tell him that you're the one responsible for the curse on him."

Izuna faltered for a moment. "What? No, I'm not--"

Not wanting to hear her excuses, he grabbed her hair and began to push her roughly toward the door. Ignoring her protests, he threw open the door and shoved her inside.

Ryou looked up at them, startled. He was back in his male form, sitting naked in the center of an arcane diagram drawn on the floor. Runes surrounded the circle, and Shin was sprinkling him with a fine yellow powder. As the door slammed open, the old medicine woman paused to turn to them.

"We're not finished yet," Shin said, frowning.

"Tell him," Charlie growled, practically throwing Izuna into the room.

She glared at him briefly before folding her arms across her chest and huffing. "There's nothing to say," she said sullenly. "My darling should be thanking me for being so thoughtful. Once we're married, we can go off and live happily ever--"

"She's the one who ordered the curse to be placed on you," Charlie interrupting, turning to Ryou. He made sure to keep a strong grip on Izuna's arm, refusing to let her try to run away.

Ryou was silent for a while, simply staring at them with an unreadable expression on his face. The only sign that he reacted at all was the temperature of the room dropping considerably. "What did you just say?" he asked in a low voice.

Izuna smiled at him. "Once you realize that you can't live without me and we marry, the curse on you will be lifted. You should be grateful that I was considerate enough to take the time to think up something that would prevent you from making the wrong choice."

Ryou slowly stood up, not taking his eyes off her. His skin visibly lightened until it was an unnatural shade of white, except for the blue skin around his eyes and forehead. His eyes practically glowed a bright shade of blue. He walked up to her, gazing at her coldly. "You had this curse placed on me."

She made a face. "It wasn't easy. I almost had to go to the human realm myself, but then I found some soldiers from the Spirit Defense Squad who were willing to relay my order to some of their compatriots. Apparently one of them found someone in the human realm that was capable of designing such a thing and placing it on you." She glared at Charlie, trying to yank her arm free from his grasp. "And this ogre hit me, if you can believe it. I think you should defend my honor and kill him for me."

Ryou continued to stare at her coldly. He was practically radiating an icy aura that caused Charlie to let go of her and back away. "Get. Out."

Izuna frowned. "But, darling--" A layer of ice appeared over her mouth, effectively silencing her.

"I should kill you," Ryou said in a cold voice. "However, I have more respect for Shin than to murder someone in her home. I would suggest you leave now before I forget that respect. Be warned that if I ever see you again, I will kill you."

Charlie looked to him in disbelief. He still felt outraged on his friend's behalf. "You're just going to let her go like that?"

Ryou smiled slightly. "Not intact." An icicle formed in his hand, and without warning, he stabbed the icicle first into one eye, and then into Izuna's other eye. The ice covering her mouth muffled her screams of pain as she raised her hands to cover her injuries. He grabbed her roughly and dragged her across the room to the door. "Now get out." He practically threw her outside before slamming the door closed.

"She'll come back to haunt you someday," Shin said, seemingly undisturbed at what had transpired in her cabin.

Ryou took a deep breath as he leaned against the door. Slowly his appearance returned to normal. "I'll deal with her then." He walked back to the arcane circle, sitting down once more. "I refuse to accept that her deranged version of a cure is the only option. Find another one."

"That's a rather tall order," Shin said. She glanced to Charlie. "Would you mind waiting outside to give us some privacy?"

"He's fine here," Ryou said, closing his eyes. "I trust him."

Shin looked at Charlie doubtfully for a few moments before picking up the pouch of yellow powder once more, resuming what appeared to be a ritual of sorts.

Charlie contemplated his friend while he sat down in a chair by the table. He knew that Ryou had a bit of a temper, although it usually amounted to loud swearing and threats, so it was a bit surprising that he would take things so calmly, if a bit callously. He thought for sure that Ryou would have killed Izuna for what she did. He wondered how it was that he could see Ryou change to his demon form, and why he could recognize many demons as such. He supposed he still had a lot to learn.


	34. 08 A Place Called Home

**Chapter 8**: A Place Called Home  
[_February 2012_]

--- --- ---

Izuna was long gone by the time Charlie and Ryou left Shin's cabin at Mount Azule. Charlie was rather glad of that, as he didn't want to deal with her. Shin discovered that the reason why Ryou's curse worked differently in the demon plane was because he had entered it while in his female form. The magic behind the curse had been 'fooled' into believing that to be his natural state. Shin was able to 'fix' it to the point where the curse would work normally in the demon plane. Waiting for her to research a cure would take a while, so they opted to continue on to Mekanos. Ryou seemed to be temporarily placated by being back in male form, at least.

"You might want to be careful with that," Ryou warned as Charlie once more took out the vial Shin had given him.

"It's strange," Charlie said as he contemplated the small green vial. "There doesn't seem to be enough in here to fill a shot glass, but it's enough to change a human into a demon."

"She won't do it," Ryou said simply as he stopped at the peak of the hill they were climbing. Less than a mile away, a vast city full of skyscrapers, factories, and buildings of all sizes, shapes, and architectures was sprawled out. They had finally arrived at Mekanos. "If Janice had to choose between dying or becoming a demon, she would choose death."

Charlie placed the vial back in his pocket. "But if they would both live, then why?"

Ryou glanced to him. "Because she understands the isolated lives demons lead." He started down the road toward the city.

Charlie followed him in silence, trying to understand just what he meant by that. How did demons live isolated lives?

Once they entered the city limits, the road turning from dirt and gravel to cement, Ryou stopped and turned to him. "Even if you're not in love with her…" He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Try." He opened his eyes, giving Charlie a serious look. "It isn't fair of me to ask you this, but she deserves to have a little bit of happiness before…" He shook his head and started walking again.

"Before she dies," Charlie finished. He didn't like thinking about it, but if she didn't take the elixir Shin gave him that would turn her into a demon…

"Everybody dies," Ryou said, sticking his hands in his pockets. "What does it matter when? I'd just always hoped that she'd find someone who could return her feelings and make her happy before it was her time. She deserves at least that much."

They turned a corner onto a busy street, lined with vendors selling produce and knick-knacks at various booths. Charlie glanced to one booth warily, seeing that it displayed jars with various critters in it: small creatures with tentacles, multiple eyes, and horns. "But would that really be fair to her? For me to pretend to love her just because she's dying?"

"You said before there was a block," Ryou replied. "I told you before that I think you're just making excuses. To prevent yourself from getting hurt, you distance yourself. You set blocks to prevent yourself from falling in love with her because you're afraid of what will happen if you do."

Charlie didn't say anything at first, contemplating Ryou's words. Maybe that was what the problem boiled down to: fear. He preferred one night stands to meaningful relationships because his freedom was important to him. Some might claim he was afraid of commitment. If he were to be honest with himself, the idea of getting married made him nauseous. He supposed if the right person were to come along, though, that he could settle for a life of monogamy. "How do you know if you're in love?" he asked as they continued down the street. "I mean, how do you differentiate between someone you just simply love like a friend or whatever, and someone you're in love with?"

Ryou paused in thought as they turned a corner. "I've never been in love, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask. I think it's different for everyone, but I imagine that if you're in love with someone, you can't picture your life without them. You'd understand them, even if there are things about them that are just foreign to you."

Charlie nodded. "Like how you understand just how Janice is a fighter, even though you're not a fighter yourself."

Ryou glanced at him. "Are you still on about that?"

Charlie paused and then shook his head. "I think I'm beginning to understand that the relationship between you defies normal definitions. There's love there, and maybe it's more than just platonic, but it's not romantic love in nature. I would say that she's almost like a daughter or little sister to you at times, but that's not quite right, either. She's your partner. Friend, sister, charge, equal. The most important person in your life."

Ryou slowed down in front of a booth selling trinkets. Gems and jewelry was displayed on the table. He briefly examined an amulet before shaking his head and continuing on. "How do you know I'm not a fighter?"

"You don't like fighting," Charlie said. "You can fight, but you don't necessarily enjoy it. If someone starts a fight, you'll fight back, but you're rather non-confrontational for the most part. You'd rather just be left alone to live your life in peace without complications." He glanced at Ryou, who remained silent. "You're more of a lover than a fighter, even if you don't let many people see that aspect of yourself."

Ryou placed his hands in his pockets and adopted a stony expression. "I have no time for asinine notions like romance."

Charlie shrugged him off. "You choose not to get involved in romantic entanglements, but you're still a hopeless romantic at heart."

Ryou continued to lead them down the street. He led them to a building that looked vaguely like an office building. A sign above the door was written in Japanese, but a rough translation into English would read: 'Legitimate Businessman's Club'.

"You do realize that I was only joking earlier about you being in love with me?" Ryou asked after a long pause. "Focus on Janice, not me. She's strong, but she can't face this alone. Give her a reason to live." He opened the door. "In here," he said, walking inside.

Charlie was confused over the abrupt subject change, but decided to let it go for the time being. He was more curious as to how Ryou knew where to go. They hadn't been told _where _in Mekanos to find Jichou, just that Paige had been taken to him in the city. Not for the first time, he wondered why Karin hadn't opened the same portal the demons who abducted Paige went through to get to the city to begin with, as it would have saved a ten day journey if she had. He supposed it didn't matter so long as Paige was safe.

The room looked like a stereotypical receptionist's office. There was a door behind a desk where a bored looking demon with pink hair and horns was sitting. She was speaking over something that vaguely resembled a telephone, and glanced up at them as they entered.

"Hold, please," she said as she pressed a button on the telephone. "Can I help you?" she asked Charlie and Ryou.

"Er, we're here to see Jichou?" Charlie said, phrasing it more like a question.

"He's expecting us," Ryou added, his voice more confident than Charlie's.

The receptionist reached across the desk to a small box and pressed a button. "Lord Jichou? There's a human and an ice demon here to see you. They say you're expecting them." She released the button, and popped her gum while waiting for a reply. While nobody replied over the intercom, there was a buzzing sound that came from the door, and a light above it turned from red to green. "Go on in," the receptionist said as she picked up the phone again.

Charlie exchanged a glance with Ryou, who shrugged. They walked to the door as the receptionist began to speak with whoever was on the other end in Japanese.

Charlie immediately recognized two of the demons in the newly entered room as the kage demon Anko and Mido, the grishnar demon that had poisoned Janice. They were sitting at a table in one corner of the room with another pair of demons, going over something that appeared to be a map. In the center of the room was a dark-haired demon in a business suit. He was dodging the strikes of a battleaxe wielded by a girl practically crackling with spirit energy. He glanced to them briefly, and then stopped the swing of the blade with a single finger.

"It seems as though we have company," the demon in the business suit said.

The girl turned to the door to face them, and immediately scowled. She could easily be mistaken for a demon with the way her red hair was pulled back in a ponytail and styled in gravity-defying spikes, or with the strange clothes she wore. They might have been sent to rescue her, but Paige bore no trace of fear towards her captors, nor any outward signs of relief that Charlie and Ryou were there.

"Why did you come here?" Paige asked, still holding the oversized battleaxe.

"We're here to rescue you," Charlie said, warily glancing at the demons in the corner. He knew that he and Ryou were outnumbered, and likely wouldn't make it out alive if they had to fight their way out. They should have come up with a better plan. He never was much of a planner, and Ryou just didn't seem to care enough to come up with one.

"I don't need rescuing," Paige said, resting the heavy-looking head of the axe on the ground while holding onto the handle. "Go home."

"Not without you," Charlie said.

"I'm not leaving," Paige said.

The demon in the business suit glanced down at Paige. "Is this your father?" he asked.

Paige shook her head. "That's my uncle Charlie. He's substituting for my aunt Janice as the Underworld's detective."

The demon nodded and looked over to Charlie. "I see… How disappointing."

Ryou took a step forward. "You must be Jichou," he said. "We were sent here to bring the midget home."

"I am home," Paige declared. She raised the battleaxe once more, taking a defensive stance. "I'm not going back there."

Jichou stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Lower your weapon," he said to her, not taking his eyes off Charlie and Ryou. "Why hasn't the fox come? Does he not care for his child?"

"Of course he cares!" Charlie shouted. "That's why he sent us!" He turned to Paige. "I'm sorry if we're late getting here, but--"

"I'm not leaving," Paige repeated, holding her ground. "I still haven't faced my first boss yet, and I've wasted too much time here when I could have been out there leveling up."

"I promise to make it up to you by taking you to the catacombs under the city where monsters dwell," Jichou said. "After that, you should be at a sufficient level to take on the sandwyrms of the Subhik Desert. Maybe you'll even get to fight a boss battle there."

Paige smiled. "I wonder if I'll gain enough experience to learn a new technique."

Charlie frowned. "Don't you see he's just playing with you?"

Ryou placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "Your parents are worried about you," he said to Paige. "I don't like your idiot father, but when he heard you were abducted--"

"I wasn't abducted," Paige said, walking to the far end of the room to place her battleaxe on the wall. "I came here willingly after Mido told me about the demon plane, and that Uncle Jichou wanted to help me grow into the hero I'm meant to be."

Jichou smiled at them, his eyes full of amusement and triumph. "Why should she go back to the world that overlooked her true potential? Her father obviously doesn't care to see his child go back, or else he would be standing here. My associates left a message requesting his presence, and I would have hoped that they made themselves seem menacing enough to be taken seriously." He glanced over to the table where the four other demons were gathered. "You followed the brother as I requested, Anko?"

The shadow woman looked over at him and bowed her head. "I did. Those two instigated a fight, so we tried to take the brother by force."

Jichou tutted and shook his head. "Lacks finesse, but if it gets the job done…"

Charlie narrowed his eyes. "The mother of my child is dying because of him," he said, pointing to Mido. He looked to Paige. "You may think they're helping you, but they're the bad guys. He poisoned your aunt Janice, and the only way to cure her would kill the child she's carrying."

Paige hesitated for a few moments before shaking her head. "It's just a plot twist in the game. At the last moment, some sort of miracle will happen. Once I've leveled up enough, I'll tackle the challenges set up around the Forbidden Trove. I'll find a treasure there that will set things right. Just go back and wait until then."

Charlie stared at her in disbelief. "This isn't a game!" he exclaimed. "Things won't just turn back to normal if we don't do anything!" He walked up to her, grabbing her arm. "We're going home."

Paige narrowed her eyes and placed a hand against his chest. A shockwave of energy blasted Charlie off of her, throwing him back across the room. She glared at him coldly. "You're more than welcome to go home, as it's obvious that you're just an ignorant NPC sent to impede the hero's victory. If you refuse to leave, I'll have no choice but to treat you as though you were a lackey of the villain."

Charlie shot her a wounded look as he picked himself off the ground. He'd been told that she had a good grasp of her spirit energy, but enough to toss him across a room? Just how powerful was she? They really needed to come up with a good plan…

"If you come with us now," Ryou tried to reason with her, not taking his eyes off Jichou, "you can explain to your parents the situation, and come back here."

"I have nothing to say to them," Paige said, folding her arms across her chest. "If they have anything to say to me, they can come here."

Jichou cleared his throat. "I have no business with either of you, so I would recommend that you leave now before I have you escorted off the premises. When Yoru decides that he no longer wishes to act cravenly and stops hiding behind others, I will talk to him then."

Charlie shook his head. They couldn't leave now. Not after coming all this way. Even if the demons fought back, they still had to try to convince Paige to go back. "Paige…"

A loud ripping sound echoed in the room as she extended an arm out. A small black vortex appeared behind Charlie and Ryou. "Banish Foes!" she shouted. A powerful blast of energy sent Charlie and Ryou backward through the vortex.

--- --- ---

Charlie groaned as he regained consciousness. His stomach hurt from where he'd previously been skewered with a sword, and he felt like he'd just been run over by a herd of Welsh Greens. He wrinkled his nose as a foul stench hit him, and when he moved to sit up he could feel and hear something squish underneath him. "Where am I?" he croaked as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Fucking midget," Ryou grumbled from somewhere nearby.

As Charlie's vision cleared, he could see that he was sitting in a dumpster behind a building. From the appearance of the trash, it seemed like they were behind a restaurant. Ryou was sprawled out on a nearby pile of cardboard. The blue sky looked relatively normal, and the air didn't have the metallic smell that he'd grown used to over their journey. "Are we home?"

"Hey! Get out of my dumpster, you hobo!" an angry voice interrupted from the back door. Charlie barely had time to register that he was the 'hobo' in question before he was chased out of the dumpster by a man holding a bag of trash and a meat cleaver.

After running for half a block, the man grew bored and went back to the restaurant. Charlie stood by a lamppost while waiting for Ryou to join him. The ice demon looked like he was trying not to laugh as he approached.

"What kind of demon was that guy?" Charlie asked as they began to walk down the street.

Ryou snorted. "You must have hit your head harder than I thought. We're in the human realm." He glanced back at the restaurant. "That was the Golden Dragon, if I'm not mistaken. We're not too far away from that wizard street of yours."

Charlie frowned in thought. "How did we get back here?"

"The midget can open portals between the worlds, it seems," Ryou said, placing his hands in his pockets as they walked. "A powerful ability. You'll have to rethink your strategy in getting her back, if you bother trying again."

"You really don't get along with George, do you?" Charlie asked, trying to orient himself. He knew they should probably head to the Tantei Detective Agency to inform Karin of what happened and request a _closer _portal to be opened.

"He's an idiot," Ryou sneered.

Charlie rolled his eyes as they approached an intersection. He looked at the street names, and led them in what he believed was the right direction. "Well, yeah, he does act rather foolish at times, but he doesn't mean anything by it. He's just one of those people who likes to act rather clownish."

"Underneath his buffoonery, he can be mean-spirited and insulting," Ryou said. "He's not as harmless as he appears at first glance. Just look at how he's essentially designated his wife as his own personal baby maker. Every time she's just about ready to start looking for a nanny and go back to work, she ends up pregnant again. He's lucky she tolerates him knocking her up all the time."

Charlie furrowed his brows. "But if he was that controlling, Tracy wouldn't put up with it. She's rather strong-willed."

"Her psyche is that of a demon's," Ryou said. "Possessiveness is accepted and expected toward one's mate. She's just as controlling and possessive of him as he is of her. Remember, he and Fred are reincarnations of demons, but while Fred's demonic soul merged with his human soul at birth, George never had a human soul."

Charlie scoffed. "You can't blame that kind of behavior on being a demon, or being similar to one psychologically. Demons and humans aren't that different when it comes down to it. I doubt that you would try to control someone you cared about like that. Ultimately, the only person you want to control is yourself, and you can't stand the thought of someone else controlling you."

Ryou was silent for a while. They turned a corner, and it became more apparent they were heading in the right direction. Finally, he spoke, "I'll speak with Karin about what happened. You should go home and talk to Janice. If you don't think you can bring yourself to unblock yourself and fall for her, or at least pretend to be in love with her, the least you can do is be honest with her about it. You owe her that much."

Charlie stopped walking and frowned. "Why are you so insistent that I fall for her?"

Ryou stopped to face him. "Because it would be less painful if you were to fall for her rather than for me." He continued walking. "Besides, you should know that I would never betray my partner in such a manner."

"Why do you think I'm in love with you?" Charlie asked.

"I don't," Ryou replied. "I think that you might be a bit curious, and looking for an excuse not to fall in love with the mother of your child. I get that you understand me, but I'm not the one you should be trying to understand. Now go home." Without another word, he walked away, leaving Charlie standing there on the sidewalk.

--- --- ---

Janice wasn't home when Charlie went looking for her. It looked like she hadn't been there since he left for the demon plane, so he figured that she most likely had gone to stay with her sister. He decided it was best to shower and change clothes before going over there, as cleaning himself in streams and lakes was no comparison to a nice hot shower. When he stepped in under the water, he could see the dirt and grime wash down the drain.

He dreaded going over to Tracy's. He didn't know how to tell her and George that Paige preferred to stay in the demon plane. He also wasn't quite sure of what to say to Janice. Before he'd undressed, he made sure that the vial he'd been given by Shin was intact. Would she choose to become a demon and save both her life and that of their child, or would she choose to die as Ryou had predicted?

Not for the first time, he wondered if Ryou's accusation had any truth to it. Was he simply using the demon as an excuse not to fall in love with Janice? Before entering the demon plane, he'd only viewed Ryou as a friend. It was true that he offered to sleep with him, or at least would have if he wasn't involved with Janice. That was what friends did when they found out that a friend suffered from virginity. And if Ryou had decided to take him up on the offer, there was always the possibility that Janice might be understanding enough to give him the 'go ahead'.

Except he really shouldn't need anyone's permission to sleep with anyone else. There was a _reason _why Charlie had never settled down with anyone. He like his freedom, and had yet to meet anyone that made him want to settle into a life of monotony and monogamy. If he was perfectly honest with himself, if Ryou had taken him up on his offer to sleep with him, Charlie probably wouldn't have bothered to ask Janice if she minded. He would have just done it, and told her about it later. Lying about it or trying to hide it wouldn't be advisable under the circumstances.

Except Ryou didn't take him up on his offer. Charlie truthfully had no idea what Ryou's sexual preference was, if he even had one. From what Ryou had told him about most demons not caring about gender lines, Charlie presumed that he was bisexual, or at least open to sexual activity with both genders. He had no way of knowing for sure without asking the demon any of that, though, and that would be a just plain awkward conversation.

There had been a few times since the incident at the spring where he'd had non-platonic thoughts about his friend. He'd been turned on when Ryou kissed him to put on a show for Izuna. While he could peg it as a simple attraction to a pretty woman, it wasn't isolated to those two incidents. While Shin had conducted the ritual to determine the specifics of Ryou's curse and 'fix' it, Charlie had caught himself checking out -- and even admiring -- his friend's physique a few times. Ryou's lean frame was nicely toned, but not overly muscular. Strangely enough, the ice demon seemed to have a tattoo of a thorny vine that spiraled around the length of his penis.

During their journey, he'd had a few dreams about Ryou that left him sneaking off in the early morning to take care of the aroused state the dreams left behind. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to claim that Ryou had been in female form in every dream. There was one he vividly recalled where Ryou had most certainly been in male form, showing him just who was 'in control'.

Was it just curiosity on his part, brought on by their close proximity while they were in the demon plane? Charlie never had gone for very long without having sex before, and he hadn't slept with Janice since before the attack. Even though he thought of himself as 'mostly straight', he knew that others would label him as bisexual. He preferred women, but wasn't repulsed or opposed to the idea of having sex with a man. He just wasn't attracted to other men as often as he was to women. Still, thinking about his dreams was causing his body to react in ways where he was glad that he was alone and nobody knew just what he was thinking.

Charlie set the bar of soap aside as he decided that taking care of his growing erection was more important. It had been difficult to wank properly while in the demon plane, since he didn't want to wake Ryou or wander off too far. He tried to remind himself that he was involved with Janice, and that Ryou was just a friend. He didn't want to lose that friendship, and it wouldn't be fair to Janice. She was kind-hearted and understanding, but even her understanding had its limits. Hadn't she suggested that they stay faithful to one another while trying to work on a relationship? And even if she didn't care about who he slept with, Ryou outright stated that he wouldn't betray Janice like that.

Charlie respected and admired Ryou's loyalty to her. He remembered how Ryou had threatened to kill him if he hurt Janice, which was one of the reasons why he avoided him after the attack that left Janice poisoned. He was afraid that Ryou would blame him for what happened. Even though he said that he didn't, Charlie had to wonder just how truthful he'd been. It was Janice where Ryou's interests and loyalties lied, not with Charlie.

Charlie frowned. If Janice died, there would be no reason for their continued association. He was just her substitute, after all, not her replacement. Her proper successor would be chosen upon her demise, if one hadn't been chosen already. Even if she lived, she would likely resume her duties as the Underworld detective once their daughter was born, and there still wouldn't be a reason for him to associate with Ryou.

No matter what else happened, Charlie knew that he wanted to at least remain friends with Ryou. It was only recently that he'd felt an attraction to him, and he couldn't be entirely certain that it wasn't simply a lack of sex that brought about the carnal desire for his friend. He'd avoided sex with Janice after the attack for fear that it would tire her out to the point where she'd succumb to the poison that much sooner. Even if it wasn't a good option, he did have the elixir that would turn her into a demon. She might not accept it, but at least it was an option.

He closed his eyes as he tried to finish what he started. He decided that once he was done showering and getting dressed, he would go to Janice, bring her back, and shag her all night long. He'd have to explain the situation to Tracy and George first, but he needed to take care of his relationship with Janice before going back to the demon plane. It wouldn't do to have lustful thoughts about Ryou when he went back, even if the ice demon was who he was picturing mentally as he wanked in the shower.

After letting his come wash down the drain, Charlie turned off the water. Whether Janice lived or died, he had been the one to suggest to her that they try to work on a relationship. Maybe he wasn't in love with her, but there was nothing to lose by following Ryou's suggestion to _try_.

--- --- ---

When Charlie arrived at Tracy's, Janice and Tracy were sitting at the dining room table with Jack and the triplets, helping the boys with their homework. Charlie tried his best to explain why he was back without Paige, although it wasn't the easiest thing he'd ever done. He'd rather have faced a Ukrainian Ironbelly without his wand.

"George will go," Tracy said as she gestured for Charlie to take a seat at the table. "If I can convince someone to watch the kids, I'll go too."

"But you're pregnant!" Charlie protested, sitting down between Dylan and Luke. "We had to journey for ten days in the wilderness before we finally got to where she was!"

Tracy narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm familiar with the dangers of the demon plane, and I'm tougher than you think. I refuse to sit idly by while one of my children is missing."

Adam frowned as he scratched out something he'd written on a piece of paper. "Paige needs to get home soon so I can have her do my homework for me. How am I supposed to know what twelve times five is?"

"It's forty-two," Luke said. "Dad says that's the answer to everything."

Adam smiled. "Thanks!"

Janice shook her head. "No, it's not." She turned to Adam, leaning over his paper. She proceeded to help him figure out the answer for himself, while not stating what the answer was. Adam's eyes lit up as he figured it out with her help.

Charlie smiled as he watched her help him. He wondered if she had been helping out with the kids while he was in the demon plane. Tracy didn't look as harried as usual, so he supposed that she had. "You seem to be a natural at this," he said once Janice was done explaining the problem.

"My mother was a professor," Janice said. "She taught folklore and mythology at university. I always thought it a shame that Hogwarts never taught anything like that. I would've liked to learn about some of the legends wizards had."

"Maybe I could teach you some," Charlie offered. There wasn't much, but there were legends and fairytales in the wizarding world. "Although I wonder… If Muggle legends have some basis in reality, do wizard legends have the same?"

Janice smirked. "Well, there was that idiot who mistook mydar eggs for dragon eggs. Whose to say that some creatures of your legends aren't demonic in origin?"

Charlie was about to reply when there was a high-pitched squeal from upstairs, followed by shouting and the thundering of footsteps. He glanced up at the ceiling. "Er, what was that?"

"Caitlin's bath time," Tracy said. "She likes to view it as 'make daddy chase her around the house' time. I hope he hasn't forgotten his wand in the other room this time."

"I have it," Dylan said, pulling a wand out of his pocket. A half-eaten bar of chocolate was partially melted and stuck to it.

Tracy frowned and held out her hand. "I'm not going to ask why you have your father's wand, but give it here. And I've told you no sweets before bedtime."

Dylan pouted, but handed her the wand. "But if I can't have sweets before dinner or before bedtime, when can I have them?"

Jack smirked at him. "You don't need candy, chub."

Dylan glared at his brother. "Don't call me 'chub', you scrotum!"

Before either boy could say anything else, Tracy interrupted. "Knock it off or I'll send both of you to bed early! I won't tolerate name-calling in this house. Adam, if you're done with your homework, could you take your dad his wand?"

Adam nodded and stood up. "Can I use it if I come across rogue ninja on the way?"

"I doubt there are any rogue ninja here," Tracy said. A loud splash followed by giggles could be heard from upstairs. "I think your dad might be under attack by a rogue octopus, though."

Adam smiled and took the wand reverently for a few moments. "Once more, the ronin finds himself on a journey to bring his comrade-in-arms back his enchanted sword to battle the evil octopus monster," he narrated as he walked out of the dining room. "What perils will our hero face as he quests to regain his honor?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow as his nephew could be heard continuing to narrate after he left the room. "Ryou's talking to Karin about what happened in the demon plane. I'm not sure when we'll go back, but I'm hoping that we'll get a portal closer to Mekanos when we do."

Tracy nodded. "I hate leaving her there for this long… My brother runs a criminal syndicate similar to the mafia or yakuza. I know how manipulative he can be, and from what you've told me he already has Paige under his control. I can't leave her there."

"We'll get her back," Charlie tried to reassure her. He could see that her eyes were tearing up, which was rather alarming considering how unemotional she usually was. "I think that it was a mistake to go without George, because he's the one they both want. Even if he and Ryou don't get along--"

"Uncle Charlie?" Luke asked, tugging on his sleeve. "What's a donkey punch?"

Charlie blinked and turned to his six-year-old nephew. "What?"

Luke took a deep breath. "When dad was telling us about how mums get pregnant after dads fertilize their eggs with something called sperm, he also mentioned something called a donkey punch after Jack asked him why the man in one of dad's videos punched a lady in the back of the head. I asked dad, but he told me to ask mum. I asked her, and she said to ask dad again, and he told me to ask you. Also, where do dads find this 'sperm' thing to fertilize eggs with? I went grocery shopping with mum, and I saw the eggs, but didn't see anything called 'sperm' by the ketchup _or _the salt. I even asked the clerk, but he just went all red and didn't answer."

"Why don't you ever ask your parents these kinds of things?" Charlie asked, bright red. He looked to Tracy for help, but she wore an amused expression that made it clear she wasn't about to help.

"I told you," Jack interrupted. "Dad told me that when a man sticks his wiener in a girl he'll pee out white stuff instead of normal pee."

Luke frowned and looked to him. "I don't believe you. How would the pee turn white?"

Jack shrugged. "I dunno, but you remember how mum and dad had to go to Hogwarts because Chloe was caught touching a guy's wiener and made him pee white stuff? I think there's some sort of spell or something."

Tracy frowned, a dark look crossing her face. "Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea to argue against expulsion…"

Charlie's eyebrows rose in shock. "Chloe was fooling around with someone? But she's only twelve!"

Janice glanced to him. "How old were you when you first started fooling around with girls?"

Charlie didn't say anything, thinking that was completely beside the point. While he hadn't officially lost his virginity until he was fourteen, he had received blow jobs and hand jobs before then. The first time he received a hand job was right after his first Quidditch match during his second year at Hogwarts, and he received a blow job for his thirteenth birthday not long after.

"The boy's parents weren't very happy, either," Tracy said, frowning. "Of course, I suppose part of it is because George and Fred had locked Logan's father in a vanishing cabinet when they were both seventh years at Hogwarts. I suppose some people just can't get over the fact that we've all done stupid things when we were kids. But he didn't have to try and make it sound as though Chloe molested Logan." She rolled her eyes.

Charlie didn't have anything to say to that, so he turned to Janice. "We probably won't be going back until tomorrow at the earliest, but shall we head home soon?"

Janice nodded and looked to Tracy. "Do you mind?"

"Go ahead," she said, smirking. "I'm sure the two of you have a bit of catching up to do."

That was the plan, Charlie thought to himself. With how complicated his life had become, uncomplicating it was a major priority. After saying their goodbyes, with Janice promising to return the next day to help out with the kids, they left to go back to Charlie's cabin.

--- --- ---

He may have looked contented as he laid next to Janice in their bed, but Charlie's mind was racing. Making love to her after their month-long celibacy should have helped him to figure out just what it was he wanted. He was more confused than ever, though. There had been times when he'd closed his eyes, imagining that it was Ryou who was riding him. He wasn't supposed to think of the demon like that, especially since he had Janice. What kind of man was he to think of the best friend of his pregnant girlfriend while having sex? Friends were not supposed to lust after friends like that, so what was wrong with him?

"That didn't seem like 'happy to see you, I missed you' sex," Janice said, staring up at the ceiling.

"It didn't?" Charlie asked.

"It seemed more like…" She glanced over at him. "What happened in the demon plane, exactly?"

He didn't look at her. He knew if he did, something in his eyes might betray what he was thinking. "We met with some bandits in Katarr, Ryou's self-proclaimed fiancée tagged along for a while, Ryou blinded her after learning she'd had the curse placed on him, and then we went to Mekanos. Paige basically kicked our arses by opening a portal back to the human realm and blasting us through it." He paused. "We also found a possible alternate antidote. It would be safe for you to take."

"But?"

He closed his eyes. "It would turn you into a demon."

Janice was silent for a while. "Do you want me to turn into a demon?" she asked after a very long pause.

"I don't know what I want anymore," Charlie replied without thinking. "I want you to live, I know that. I want to be in the lives of you and our daughter."

Janice looked up at the ceiling. "If I became a demon, I would outlive you," she said softly. "That line would no longer exist."

"What line?" he asked.

She smiled at him sadly. "You really weren't even the tiniest bit jealous at the thought that I might be in love with Ryou, were you?"

Charlie's insides somersaulted, remembering their previous conversation the night she left and took refuge at her sister's house. Janice had told him then that she loved Ryou, but wouldn't involve herself with him romantically because it wouldn't be fair to either of them. At the time, he had felt more defeated than jealous at her admission of loving another man. "You told me I shouldn't be," he answered, recalling another part of the conversation.

Janice made a noise of assent. "That's because I would never hurt him by getting involved with him. I would grow old and die, and he would be forced to watch it happen. It's painful enough to lose a friend like that, but even more so to lose a lover."

Charlie paused in thought. "But if there's a way to prevent that from happening…"

"I told you before that I won't hold you under any obligation," she said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm not in love with you. I don't think that you're in love with me, either. Your brothers Fred and George talk about how they knew when they found The One. I don't necessarily believe in that whole 'knowing' crap, because love takes time to develop. It might develop without you realizing it until it hits you like a ton of bricks, but it still takes time. Except there has to be a limit to how long one waits to see." She opened her eyes and looked to him. "I won't become a demon. I couldn't bear the thought of losing everyone around me like that. I plan on living. Hermione's been helping by transferring some of her spirit energy to me."

Charlie wondered how long that would help, but decided not to say anything about it. Instead, he would focus on what she was saying about their relationship. "What are you trying to say about us, exactly?"

She flashed him a sad smile again. "We're friends. Well, more than friends, obviously, but I honestly can't picture myself with you for the rest of my life. While you were in the demon plane, I helped Tracy and Hermione out with their kids. I heard that Professor Flitwick is retiring this summer, and I was thinking of applying for the job of Charms professor starting in September. I don't know how things will work out with our daughter, but I like kids and I like teaching. It's better than getting myself killed in a fight, at least. And it's not some boring desk job."

Charlie frowned. "You're trying to change the subject, aren't you?"

"I'd rather us be friends than to try to force something that isn't there," she said. "I've had 'one last time' sex before, and that's what this felt like."

There wasn't anything Charlie could say to that. In a way, she was right about that. One last time to try to figure things out. "You want to break up?"

"Are we even together?" Janice mused out loud, turning her head to look at the ceiling. "We're friends. We sleep together. Beyond that, there's not much else we do that would indicate that we're involved at all. I just don't have the energy to keep pretending otherwise."

Charlie's mind raced. She was giving him an out, if he wanted to take it. While he had intended to try to work things out with her… "What brought this on all of a sudden?"

Janice remained silent for a long time. "I thought that maybe I was wrong, and you might have been in love with me, so I was determined to try to fall for you in return. But…" She closed her eyes. "It wasn't my name that you called out when we were having sex."

Charlie paled. Had he called out a name? If he had, there was only one name it could be besides hers…

"I'm not going to ask what happened between you and Ryou in the demon plane," she said, getting out of bed. "I know him well enough to know that he would never let anything happen."

Charlie sat up as she put on a pair of pyjamas. "Janice… I…"

"There's a line that he won't cross," she said as she dressed. "Don't expect much from him, because he won't give you much. I should know." She grabbed some blankets from the closet and walked to the door. "For years now, I've been trying to convince myself that I'm not in love with him."

Charlie stared at the ceiling as she walked out of their bedroom. He truthfully didn't know if things had become less complicated or more complicated.


	35. 09 A Child's Game

**Chapter 9**: A Child's Game  
[_February 2012_]

--- --- ---

Jichou's 'office' was empty when they returned to the demon plane. Three weeks had passed since they left the demon plane in a forced retreat; Paige had officially been in the demon plane for one month exactly. George had come along this time, refusing to stay at home while his daughter was in the demon plane. Fred was taking care of any Underworld detective duties at home, although things had admittedly been slow when Charlie and Ryou were gone the first time. Demons policed themselves for the most part, so it wasn't strictly necessary that an Underworld detective be present in the human realm.

Charlie wished that he had stayed behind. George and Ryou traded insults and took snide little potshots at one another ever since they arrived, acting like a pair of children. He even had to break up an argument before it could escalate into a fight. He supposed that it was better than either of them taking potshots at him, though.

His break up with Janice was known by pretty much everyone. She was staying with George and Tracy until she found a place of her own. Supposedly there was a flat that would be available at the end of the month. He wasn't quite sure who it was that told his mother, but he received a rather nasty Howler from her, essentially telling him to do whatever it took to get Janice back and marry her. He ignored it, as it wasn't much different than the weekly letters he'd received from her before, nagging at him to marry Janice.

"So where now?" George asked, shooting the receptionist a rather nasty look before following them outside the building. They'd been hanging around the reception area of the Legitimate Businessman's Club since they arrived in Mekanos three hours ago, irritating the harried receptionist until she told them to leave. At least they'd come through a portal closer to Mekanos, but Jichou's absence was rather disheartening.

"The catacombs under the city. The Subhik Desert. The Forbidden Trove." Ryou leaned against the brick wall by the door. "They were all locations mentioned by Paige or Jichou. I've never heard of any place called the 'Forbidden Trove' before, but it was mentioned by that delusional midget, so that's not too surprising."

George frowned. "My daughter is not a delusional midget!"

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "She believes she's a character in a video game, and she's short. A delusional midget."

Charlie chuckled, but at the sharp glare he received from George, masqueraded his laugh as a cough. "So what's the plan? Wait until they come back and have George reason with her?"

"Pretty much," Ryou said as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. Lighting up a cigarette, he closed his eyes. "Jichou isn't the adventuring type. He's a businessman. He'll be back."

"Why don't we just look for them?" George asked through gritted teeth.

Ryou deliberately exhaled a bit of smoke into George's face. "Because we don't know where they are, and they'll be back. Idiot."

Charlie sighed and pulled George away from Ryou before a fight could break out. "There's not much we can do except wait," he said.

George glared at him. "Just like how you waited until after you'd knocked up Janice before dumping her?"

"She broke up with me!" Charlie protested. "We're better off as friends than trapped in some complex relationship that neither of us really wants. I'm still going to be there for our child, and it's not like things ended badly."

George scoffed. "And you should be over at my house every day, begging her to take you back."

"I thought you _didn't _want us together," Charlie pointed out.

"Make no mistake," George said, frowning. "I still think you should never have involved yourself with her. She's just a child, and you took advantage of her. That said, she's pregnant with your child. You should be doing everything in your power to try to rectify the mistake you made because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants."

"The same could be said of you," Ryou muttered, taking a drag off his cigarette as he looked somewhere down the street. When George looked to him, he continued, "You have all these kids because you feel some sort of compulsion to knock up your wife constantly. Not because you want kids, necessarily, because you'd pay more attention to them if you did. Paige wouldn't want to stay here unless there was something seriously wrong on the home front."

George blinked. "But there isn't anything wrong! She knows we love her, and we try to give her whatever she and her siblings want!"

Ryou opened his eyes, giving him a serious look. "You work full time. Your wife has been reduced to being a stay-at-home mother, but her attention is spread thin due to the sheer number of brats you have. Paige is quieter than the rest of her siblings, who would get the most attention due to either acting out, being loud, or simply requiring attention because of how young they are. She's lost. Your oldest daughter is a delinquent who will likely end up pregnant by the time she's fifteen. Your son Jack thinks that there's nothing wrong with using small animals to test his spirit energy, not to mention bullies his brothers and manipulates adults by pretending not to know things he's perfectly aware of. Adam, Luke, and Dylan are treated as just one entity most of the time even though they're _not._ I would think that you of all people should understand what it's like to be treated as just part of an entity rather than an individual. Caitlin's a spoiled brat, and it's too soon to tell how fucked up Riley will be, but the fact that the kid has _Youki _says to me that you and Kuroi must have been in your demonic forms at the time of his conception. Meanwhile, your wife has her hands full trying to straighten them all out while dealing with yet _another _brat on the way, while you undermine her authority and encourage their worst traits. I'm guessing that it's your way of placating them so they'll be happy with you not spending any real time with them as individuals. And all because you couldn't 'keep your dick in your pants'." He took a drag off his cigarette. "Idiot."

George slumped down against the wall, looking like he'd just been slapped. "It's not that bad…" he said weakly.

"Then why the hell are we here?" Ryou questioned. He took a drag off his cigarette before peeling himself from against the wall. "What do _you _want?"

Charlie followed Ryou's gaze to the demon approaching. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of Mido, the green-skinned grishnar demon with yellow straw-like hair.

"Lord Jichou didn't expect to see you again so soon," Mido said. He glanced to George with his beady black eyes, sizing him up. "Follow me," the demon snarled, turning away from them to walk down the street.

Without a word, they followed him. Glancing to his brother, Charlie could see that George still appeared shaken over Ryou's earlier words. As much as he would like to jump to his brother's defense, Charlie found that he couldn't. He didn't know enough about George's parenting skills to comment, but when the individual dysfunctions of each of George's children were pointed out like that, it started to make sense why Paige preferred the demon plane to the human realm.

In the demon plane, she wasn't lost in the shuffle. She had her uncle's undivided attention, not to mention was the center of their current attentions. But how easy was it for her to be lost back at home? She was quieter than the rest of her siblings, which might be fine in a small family, but in a family like hers was practically the equivalent of wearing an invisibility cloak.

Charlie hoped that they could convince her to go back home. He had a feeling things would be different once she did.

--- --- ---

Charlie was beginning to get more than a bit annoyed by the endless forests they seemed to walk through. He supposed he shouldn't be too surprised, since the demon plane was largely wilderness occasionally dotted with villages, towns, or cities, but after traveling through forests for the better part of a ten-day journey left him craving fewer trees that wanted to eat him.

"What the hell is a cave doing in the middle of a forest?" he mused out loud as Mido led them to the entrance of a cave.

"We're in the Red Forest," Ryou muttered, glancing at his surroundings. "Hiru and Yoru's old stomping grounds."

"That's exactly right," Jichou stated from where he was sitting on a nearby boulder. "Mido, if you would be so kind as to assist the others."

The green-skinned demon bowed deeply and said something in the language Charlie couldn't understand before heading inside the cave.

"Now, then," Jichou said as he stood up. "I see the fox has finally decided to stop hiding. Please assume your true form."

George narrowed his eyes. "Where is Paige?"

Indeed, it only appeared as though Jichou was there, while Paige and any other lackey of Jichou's were nowhere in sight. Charlie presumed that they were inside the cave where Mido went. "She's busy at the moment," Jichou said, waving him off. "I thought, however, that before she joins us, you and I could have a little chat."

The way he said it, Charlie figured that merely talking was not all Jichou had in mind.

George scoffed. "Tracy's an adult. She doesn't need you to make her decisions for her."

Jichou smiled. "Kuroi was one of my best workers. At the time you decided to… _take _her, she was working on a job that could have brought in millions. I do understand that she made her choice to be with you, but that doesn't change what you did."

George rolled his eyes. Something in Jichou's tone, however, said to Charlie there was more to the situation than simply refusing to gain permission to court her or a missed money making opportunity.

"So sorry that you lost out," George said sarcastically. He gestured to the mouth of the cave. "I suppose they're in there, aren't they?"

Jichou nodded. "Paige should be able to remove the wards you placed within the day. That will take care of any fiscal responsibility you have. She'll be free to do whatever she desires after that." He paused. "My research tells me that you have a sister, correct?"

George glared at him. "Stay the hell away from her."

"You misunderstand me," Jichou said genially, waving him off once more. "I want you to think about your sister for a bit. By doing so, I hope that you can come to understand my position. While claiming the treasure you left behind should take care of any fiscal responsibility you might have, there is a more pressing issue. I hate repeating myself. Please assume your true form."

At George's hesitation, Ryou nodded once in affirmation. "Do it," the demon said. "You're being challenged. You'll be killed if you don't."

George looked to him. "Why am I being challenged?"

"Because you're a fucking idiot," Ryou shot back. He began to walk closer to the cave, gesturing for Charlie to follow him. "Demonic courtship can be quite violent," he explained to Charlie. "One of the first steps of courtship is to assert one's dominance."

Charlie glanced to him. "Assert dominance? How does one do that?"

Ryou gave him a flat look as they gave George and Jichou plenty of room ahead of them. "There's many ways," he said in a low tone, watching as George reluctantly pulled a flask out of his coat pocket. "It's falling out of practice, but forcing another to have sex was a common way of doing so in some regions."

Charlie balked. "What?!"

Ryou frowned, a look of great distaste crossing his features. "I suppose whether it would be viewed as rape would depend on the mindsets of those involved. If the demon being forced was willing, they would put up little to no resistance, and courtship would continue. That's why gaining permission from any applicable guardians is so important. They're the ones who ultimately gave consent to proceed with that particular step, not the demon being courted."

Jichou smiled. "Precisely." He took off the black jacket he wore as George took a swig from his flask. Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, Jichou continued, "Even if that particular method isn't employed, it is still common courtesy to request permission to court one's ward." As George's features morphed into those of the fox demon Yoru, Jichou seemed to transform as well. Black wings sprouted from his back, and his eyes turned into dark pools with no discernable difference between the pupils, irises, or whites. His fingernails appeared to grow slightly, pointing at the ends to appear almost claw-like. "Are you starting to understand my position now?"

"I didn't rape her!" George shouted, his silver eyes wide.

Before he could react, Jichou had charged him, his face inches away. "Only because she was willing," he sneered before punching George, sending him flying back a few feet.

Charlie's eyes widened, but Ryou's hand on his shoulder stopped him from interfering like he wanted to. "Let them fight," Ryou said. He gestured to the opening of the cave. "We have a midget to save."

Charlie nodded dully as he followed Ryou inside the cave. Paige was the entire reason why they'd come back to the demon plane, and he had to have faith in his brother. It sounded like Jichou's problem with George was based off his past life, which he didn't even remember.

"He won't kill him," Ryou said as they entered the vast cavern, larger on the inside than it looked outside. Stalactites made of crystal hung down from the ceiling. The ground was smoother than expected, shiny and blue. The pale blue walls sparkled every now and then. "Jichou wishes to test George's power. He has to show he's strong enough to handle himself in a fight. He'll need to submit in the end, and it's likely he'll need to have a bit of his blood spilt. Nothing major."

"I never realized demonic courtship was so…" Charlie let his voice trail off, not sure what adjective would best describe his thoughts.

Ryou shrugged. "That particular step has fallen out of practice. Only the most barbaric demons engaged in such practice. Most of the time, rape in the demon plane is just that. It's not used as a step in courtship." He glanced to Charlie. "George is not the same person as Yoru. What Yoru did to Kuroi in the early stages of their courtship would not be considered rape by either of them. Yes, he forced her to have sex, but she was willing. In their minds, it would be just an ascertainment of dominance though really rough sex. George is not violent by nature. He has his flaws, but he's not a rapist."

"That doesn't make it all right," Charlie said.

"No, it doesn't," Ryou agreed. "But they're not the same person. George does not remember his life as Yoru. Tracy remembers her life as Kuroi, and ultimately would not have pursued anything with George if she did not want to. In their human lives, she was the one who initiated their relationship."

Charlie sighed. "Yet another reason why you left the demon plane, right? The whole courtship thing."

Ryou made a non-committal sound as they walked around a stalagmite jutting from the ground. There seemed to be some source of light coming from somewhere, as the jeweled cave wasn't dark in the least. It might have been a natural glow, as no light source could be seen. "I don't feel the need to complicate my life by pursuing romantic endeavors."

Charlie glanced to him. "You like to keep things simple, don't you?" he asked, although he already knew the answer and wasn't expecting a reply. "Is that why you were so adamant about me working things out with Janice?"

"I want her to be happy," Ryou said as he led them into a tunnel. "The two of you are similar enough in disposition that you could make one another happy if you gave yourselves the chance. Instead, you both needlessly complicate your lives."

"A person can't help how they feel," Charlie argued. "I can't force myself to feel a certain way about her, and she told me she's in love with you." He paused. "It sounds more like you were trying to use me as a shield. If she were to fall for me instead of you, you wouldn't have to deal with her affections."

Ryou stopped and turned around to face him. "I dealt with her 'affections' just fine for years before you entered the picture. I would prefer to keep our partnership uncomplicated by romance, and she understands that. I don't need you to act as a 'shield' of any kind."

"Understanding or not, you would still feel uncomfortable," Charlie protested. "Knowing that someone close to you loves you like that when you can't return their feelings."

Ryou just stared at him for a few moments before saying, "Should I be uncomfortable around you, then? She told me that you called out my name when you were having sex with her."

Charlie froze, paling slightly. He still wasn't sure just what he felt towards the ice demon. He was attracted to Ryou, but he'd rather keep their friendship rather than have it fall apart due to awkwardness.

"I'm not uncomfortable," Ryou said after a long pause. "I'm baffled as to why both you and Janice seem to feel that way about me, but it doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. Don't presume to know how I feel." He turned away to walk down the tunnel once more.

Charlie followed him. "Shouldn't we wait for George?" he asked, trying to change the subject. "Paige might send us back to the human realm again."

"She might," Ryou agreed, placing his hands in his pockets as they walked through the sparkling tunnel. "But did you notice whether she was wearing a collar or not?"

Charlie looked at him, puzzled. "A collar…?"

"Like the one around your neck," Ryou said, rolling his eyes. "The one that helps you breathe here in the demon plane. Chances are she's not wearing one. If that's the case, she's going to find it harder and harder to breathe. The atmosphere is thick with blood, although it's not as bad as it once was." He pulled out a collar like the one Charlie wore from his pocket. "Even if she sends us back, the least we can do is give her this. Chances are, she'll at least wait to hear us out for a bit if we do. I refuse to believe she's that far gone yet."

Charlie nodded mutely as they continued down the tunnel. Soon, they came to the antechamber at the end, seeing that Mido and the shadow demon Anko were standing to either side of Paige. The girl had her red hair pulled back into gravity-defying spikes, and wore a pair of thick yellow-lensed goggles as she made complicated hand gestures in front of a wall while chanting something under her breath. He'd watched enough anime and read enough manga in his time to recognize that she was dressed like a character right out of some anime.

He noticed that her breathing was a bit ragged, as if she just finished running a marathon. He wondered if breathing the atmosphere of the demon plane was starting to take its toll on her. He figured it probably had. Taking the collar from Ryou, Charlie walked up to them. "You'd be better off if you wore this," he said, proffering the collar to Paige.

She paused in her chanting and turned to him. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of him. "I'm not going back," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

Charlie nodded. "We're not here to take you back," he said, ignoring the questioning look Ryou shot his way. After the dismal failure of their last attempt to bring her back, he figured it was better to try a different strategy. "I take it that this is the Forbidden Trove you were talking about earlier?"

Paige turned away from him and resumed moving her hands along the wall. "I'm busy. Go away."

"You'll breathe easier if you take this," Charlie said, still holding out the collar.

"Lord Jichou makes sure that her lungs are irrigated whenever they need to be," Anko said, her dark eyes watching them warily. "There's no reason for you to be here."

"Irrigation only works for so long," Ryou scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. "You know perfectly well the atmosphere here is poisonous to humans in the long run. Irrigation is meant for humans who stumbled their way here and get sent back immediately."

Paige faced Ryou, looking at him with suspicion. "If I take the collar from him," she said slowly, "you're not going to grab me, are you?"

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "Why should I care? If you prefer the demon plane, more power to you. I'm from here, but prefer the human realm. Less bullshit, better television."

Paige paused for a moment before slowly reaching out a hand to take the collar from Charlie. Putting it around her neck, it became evident almost immediately that it made it easier for her to breathe. "My PSP doesn't work here," she said, turning back to trace arcane symbols on the wall.

Charlie shrugged. At least she wasn't sending them back. Maybe they could get through to her. Hopefully George would arrive soon, although he might try to force her back to the human realm, which would lead to her sending them back as she had done before. If they were able to convince her to return on her own, though… "So what character are you supposed to be?" he asked, trying to stall her and keep her talking.

"Generic character from a cyberpunk game," she said. "I should have gone for generic heroine from an action-adventure RPG, though."

"Most heroines in RPGs get the shaft, though. They're usually either the healer or the mage of the group, and usually end up as the love interest for the hero," Charlie said.

"Then I'll just be the hero," Paige said. The wall glowed softly with the symbols she'd been tracing. "Besides, I'm too young to be anyone's love interest."

"Then you're more like the 'plucky sidekick'," Charlie said. "I don't think many RPGs have ten-year-olds as the hero or heroine."

"I'm nobody's sidekick," Paige said, glancing back at him. "But you're right that not many games--" The wall clicked, and she froze. Her eyes widened as she looked to the wall in panic. "I think I might have set off a trap…"

Mido and Anko had backed away from her and the wall, and were alternating between glancing to her and the wall with panicked looks on their faces. Charlie and Ryou stepped closer to Paige and the wall, not trusting what sort of trap might emerge and wanting to protect her. It was a good thing that they did, for nasty looking metal spikes rose from the ground and descended from the ceiling.

Ryou cried out in pain as his hand was grazed by one of the spikes. Charlie and Paige were able to dodge the spikes completely by flattening themselves against the wall. Anko and Mido weren't so lucky.

Anko's saving grace was that she was able to turn incorporeal. The shadow woman glided between the spikes towards the others, leaving her skewered companion to scream in pain in the middle of the small antechamber.

Paige's eyes widened in shock. "Mido…?"

The spikes descended back into the floor and ceiling, causing the green grishnar demon to shriek in renewed agony on the ground.

"I suppose I should take consolation that my traps work," George said as he walked through the tunnel and approached them. He was still in his demon form, his silver tail swishing lazily behind him. One of his eyes was swollen and bruised, and there was a gash on his forehead that blood streamed down from. Jichou walked a few steps behind him, his black wings unfurled and looking relatively unharmed. "Still… I don't think that you want to set off the next trap," George continued as he joined their group. "Hiru designed it, and he always did have a penchant for playing with fire."

Charlie glanced at him briefly before turning his attentions back to Paige and Ryou. "Your traps could have killed us," he accused as he checked his niece for injuries.

George shrugged indifferently. "The traps know my blood." He walked over to the broken and bloodied Mido, smirking down at him. "They thirst for the blood of outsiders that would dare intrude."

Mido groaned on the ground, unable to come up with a coherent sentence. The blood streaming from him seemed to gather into arcane symbols on the ground, much like what Paige had been tracing earlier on the wall.

Jichou quirked an eyebrow as he too noticed the symbols in the blood. "Is this another trap?" he asked, his arms folded across his chest.

George smirked as the scenery seemed to change around them. No longer were they in the crystal cave, but were standing in what appeared to be a clearing in the woods. He turned to Paige. "Do you really want your mother to come here and drag you back home?"

Paige narrowed her eyes. "I'm not going back. I like it here." She raised a hand to the collar around her neck. "Besides, with this I'll be able to stay here infinitely. The sandwyrms of the Subhik Desert were rather disappointing, and I've yet to enter a boss fight." She glanced around at the forest they were now in. "How did we get here?"

"Illusion," George stated calmly. He aimed a finger at the still-suffering Mido, unleashing a Spirit Gun that stilled the demon's writing. Paige's eyes widened in shock once more. "The demon plane is harsh," he said in a low voice, one of his silver fox ears twitching. "To mistake it as little more than a game can be fatal."

"Not if you know the rules," Jichou said, watching the scene dispassionately through his dark eyes. "I can teach her all she needs to know."

Charlie ignored them as he wrapped Ryou's bloody hand in a bandana. It seemed as though there was little need for their presence, even though Anko was still floating around at the peripheral. Ultimately, Paige was George and Tracy's problem. Charlie was ultimately just her uncle, as was Jichou. He had no right to tell his niece what to do, as that was her parents' job.

"Do you still think of us as villainous NPCs?" Ryou asked as Charlie tied the bandana around his hand.

Paige glanced to him. "Huh?"

Ryou smirked. "You said that you were disappointed by the lack of a boss fight. You want to stay here, although I can't imagine why. Jichou there can't protect you your entire life, and there are plenty of demons who would love nothing more than to claim a human as their property. You're an oddity here." He pulled his hand out of Charlie's and took a couple steps toward her. "So how's about this? We can give you that boss fight. We win, you come back. You win, you do what you want."

George's eyes widened. "Ryou, you can't just--"

"Sounds interesting," Paige said, smiling widely. "But the hero never fights three bosses at the same time, even if the hero has a full adventuring party. I'm obviously a few members short of a full party." She glanced at the smoking remains of Mido, and her expression faltered slightly. "I suppose this is the sacrifice early in the second or third disk that gives the heroes their resolve to defeat the final boss. There's supposed to be time to level up, though, not to mention a forest is far too mundane a location for a boss fight."

"We're in an illusion," George said. "We're actually still in the cave, but that's not the--" He stopped abruptly as his features morphed back to his human appearance. "Eh? Already?" He blinked, his eyes reverting from silver to their normal hazel.

Jichou's mouth twitched slightly, as if he was trying not to smile. "Paige," he addressed. "Remember what I told you. Not every locale can be splendid. And did you not tell me that often times the final fight is engaged in the boss' sanctum? Yoru's sanctum was the forest, as befitting to a dirty little woodland creature." He turned to Ryou. "I must agree with her assessment on the number of opponents. I have a business meeting later this evening, and do not wish to be here all day." He closed his eyes, and his wings shrank back and disappeared from view. "Why not have a series of three one on one matches? Victory will go to whichever side wins two of their matches."

Charlie frowned. "But you already won against George," he protested. He looked to George. "Unless you won…?"

George shook his head. "Technically, he won, but I prefer to think we simply reached an understanding." He frowned. "But I cannot agree--"

"I'll accept," Paige said. "Also, if we win, you have to leave me alone after this."

Charlie knew they were at a disadvantage already. If they were to have a series of such fights, then their team had already lost one of them. It was doubtful that Jichou would fight again, which left just Paige and Anko. The kage demon's ability to turn incorporeal would be quite a nuisance in battle, although Paige shouldn't be underestimated, either. Charlie knew that he wouldn't be able to bring himself to fight his niece if she was his opponent. Still…

Ryou chuckled wryly. "I can agree to that. You do realize that you'll be fighting, right?"

Paige nodded curtly. "I hope you don't plan on underestimating me."

Ryou smirked. "Wouldn't dream of it." He glanced to Charlie briefly before turning back to her. "I doubt he'd be able to face you, so I suppose I'll be your opponent. Don't think I'll go easy on you."

"Oi!" George shouted in protest. "You can't honestly--"

"She won't go otherwise," Anko hissed into his ear as she slinked up behind him. "You seem to be the only one who disagrees with this."

"Of course I disagree!" George exclaimed. "I'm not going to leave my daughter's fate in the hands of some childish game that we can't win! We might as well just flip a coin while we're at it!"

"You really think we can't win?" Charlie asked. Truth be told, he didn't fancy his chances against the shadow demon. A Patronus could keep her corporeal, but maintaining his concentration on maintaining it while fighting was unlikely. Not to mention how magic either didn't work or worked differently in the demon plane. He hadn't really tried any magic since their journey the first time they were there, but he didn't think that it would have any different result. From his experience in the human realm, magic was ineffective against demons.

"To make matters a bit more fair," Jichou said with all the professionalism of a businessman, "if either of you should lose your matches, I shall fight Yoru once more. I wouldn't expect a different result from such a rematch, but at least it evens the playing field."

That improved their chances a little bit, although Charlie wasn't sure who the superior fighter between them was. Still… "I have no problem with this."

George turned to him. "Charlie! You can't honestly be thinking of going along with this!"

Charlie turned to him. "What choice do we have? Paige is more than capable of sending all of us right back to the human realm any time she wants. We can't force her to come back against her will. She'd just find her way back here again."

George frowned, looking away. "Whatever." He turned to Paige. "Win or lose, I'm not going to leave you alone. I'm sorry if you've been feeling left out and ignored, but your mother and I--"

"Save it," she said coldly, holding out her hands. The battleaxe she'd had back at Jichou's office appeared, and she leveled her gaze at Ryou as she walked into the center of the clearing. "Shall we begin?"

"No outside interference allowed," Ryou said, nodding curtly and joining her in the middle of the clearing.

Charlie glanced at George, who looked like he wanted to step in and stop the fight before it began. Jichou and Anko both stood near George, looking ready to stop him from interfering if they had to. Charlie supposed he had to agree with the terms laid out by Ryou and Paige. They couldn't force Paige to go back, no matter how much George and Tracy wanted her home.

It looked like Ryou had been hoping for a short fight where he could simply encase Paige in ice and proclaim victory, as he encased her waist-high in ice just as soon as the fight began. Paige was not to be deterred, flaring her Reiki and shattering the ice surrounding her.

Ryou's eyes widened. "What?"

Paige didn't reply, opting to charge at him with her oversized battleaxe. Ryou barely had time to dodge her first strike, although a few strands of blue hair fluttered to the ground below. A blue aura surrounded Ryou, who grabbed the handle of the battleaxe with one hand and punched Paige with the other.

"Dammit, let me go!" George shouted, trying to break past Jichou and Anko.

Charlie turned to him. "This is their fight," he said, although he wanted to get involved himself. It just wasn't right to pit a ten-year-old girl against a full-grown demon.

George glared at him. "She's just a child!"

"So is he," Jichou said, not taking his eyes off the combatants as Ryou blasted Paige back with a gust of icy wind. "You seem to forget that demons age differently than humans. While physically he may appear to have reached the age of maturity, in demon years he has just barely passed the halfway point between infancy and adulthood."

"Even so!" George continued to protest.

Jichou turned to him. "The age of adulthood for humans is somewhere around seventeen or eighteen, correct?" At George's silence, he smiled and turned back to the fight. "For an equivalent human age, he would be considered a child of ten or eleven years of age. As your daughter is nearing the cusp of her eleventh birthday, I see no reason to object to her fighting someone her own age."

Paige unleashed a shockwave of spirit energy at Ryou, who raised a hand to form a shield of ice in front of him. The shockwave dissipated against it, and an icy chain shot out from behind the shield, binding Paige where she stood. Her battleaxe fell to the ground.

"How bothersome," Jichou said. "Since all this is nothing more than illusion, it would be so much more convenient if you were to simply get past your traps so I could take my leave."

George frowned. "What makes you think you won't need to fight?"

Charlie glanced at him. "Do you really have such little faith in Ryou or myself?"

"Not just that," Jichou said, smiling. "I'm amazed that you haven't thought of the simplest solution yet."

Paige struggled to break free of the icy chain, but not even a flare of Reiki helped to loosen it. Once more, ice encased her up to her waist.

"The simple solution?" Charlie repeated. "Something like she goes home, but is free to visit here?"

Jichou nodded. "While it has been rather interesting to get to know my niece, I do not wish to be burdened with the responsibilities of raising a child. I'm not the paternal type." He turned to George. "The choice would be up to her, but as things stand, she believes you won't allow her to ever return here."

Paige grimaced, but was unable to break free of the ice surrounding her. "I concede," she admitted. The ice disappeared, and she dropped down to her knees, glaring at the ground.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Charlie asked.

The demon smiled. "No change of heart. I never planned to keep her here for long. There were two things she was meant to accomplish. Lure Yoru here, and break into his treasure vault. Had Kuroi given her any training as a thief, or had you taught her the fine art of inveigling, perhaps I could have found more permanent use for her in my syndicate. But the time it would take for her to truly master her trade would leave her an elderly woman, and unable to perform those tasks."

"Why the hell did you go through the trouble of sending your goons after my brother if she was your target?" George demanded.

"It was more interesting that way," Jichou said. "She is a very interesting girl, and shows tremendous potential. Don't get me wrong, I like having her around, but I have a business to run, and the Yokai Syndicate is no organization for a child." He smiled at Paige as she approached. "You fought well."

"I lost," Paige said. "I thought I'd leveled up enough…"

"Ah. It's not quite that simple, I'm afraid," Jichou said as he knelt down to be eye level with her. "There are so many variables in a fight, that regardless of how high your level, a lesser opponent might still defeat you."

"Maybe I should get the strategy guide," Paige mused aloud.

"That's not it!" Charlie exclaimed. As Paige looked to him, he tried to explain, "Life isn't a game. And even if it was, how do you know for sure that you're not one of the misguided NPCs you talk about? The hero of the story always follows some sort of journey."

"But I'm on a journey," she protested.

Charlie shook his head. "There's usually forces beyond the hero's control that changes their life and sets them on their journey. Like how Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle were killed in _Star Wars_, or how Buffy was imbued with the essence of the Slayer in _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. Even your video games follow the same pattern. The hero becomes orphaned, or dark forces invade their village. The point is they can't go home and continue to live their normal lives the way they had before. You don't have that catalyst. You just decided to set out on your own, but you have no real motivation. No dark forces are persecuting your people, there's no prophecy that only you can fulfill. Your journey is like an optional side quest, not a hero's journey."

Paige narrowed her eyes at him. "And what would you know? You're not a gamer."

Charlie shrugged. "I've watched lots of anime and read lots of manga. And you forget that Janice was a hardcore gamer back when she was your age. I've played a few of her old games." He paused. "I wonder if Fred and Hermione realize that they named their oldest kids after video game characters…"

Ryou looked to him as he approached. "That game is rather obscure, so it's doubtful. Although they probably shouldn't have let Janice suggest names. Jessica and Kyle were this close to being named 'Lina' and 'Gourry'."

Charlie chuckled in remembrance of that particular brainstorming conversation. He'd thrown out a lot of names of anime and manga characters until a hormonal Hermione cast a silencing charm on him. That was beside the point, though.

He turned back to Paige. "Usually a hero will meet the strangest of people along their journey. Sometimes they start out on opposing sides, but by the end they've developed a strong bond that will last far beyond the end of the game. Can you honestly say that of those in your current adventuring party?"

Paige glanced to Anko and Jichou, who was still kneeling in front of her. "Sometimes they're automatically in the hero's party," Paige said weakly.

"So what's the storyline?" Charlie asked. "There has to be some kind of subplot going on with the hero's group aside from the main plot. Something to make the dynamics interesting, and to make the hero develop from just your average person into an actual hero."

Paige looked down at the ground. "It's not necessary…"

"Paige," Jichou said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It might be too soon for you to go on the journey you wish to. As soon as your father turns our surroundings back to normal and opens the door to his treasure--"

"You know there's nothing in there but a bag of sugar and a toothpick, right?" George interrupted. "We made it a point to return most of the stuff we stole at a later point of time. We just spread rumors of having some grand hidden treasure because we were bored and wanted to see if anyone was stupid enough to fall for it. The traps were just for fun." At the dark look Jichou gave him, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Let me get our surroundings back to normal."

Ryou chuckled as he lit up a cigarette. "What did I tell you? He was an idiot then, and not much has changed since then."

"I thought you didn't remember your past," Charlie pointed out as the forest shimmered briefly before reverting back to the cave they were actually in.

George shrugged. "When I revert to my demon form, bits and pieces come to me. I guess it's kind of like remembering parts of a dream. The details might be hazy, but some things stick out, especially if they seem important." He paused and frowned. "Although I'm not sure why I seem to be remembering something about cheese being important…"

Jichou growled as he stood up. "You mean to tell me that we came all the way out here for nothing?"

George shrugged again. "Well, you might be able to sell the bag of sugar. It's pretty old by now, but maybe some antique collector would be interested."

Jichou narrowed his eyes. "Just open the door. I demand to see the contents of the treasure vault for myself."

Charlie sighed and shook his head in disbelief. Sometimes he wondered just how he could be related to someone like George. Wondering if there would be any need to another fight, he glanced over at Anko, who looked bored and was crouching down on the ground, drawing something that looked like a number sign with a charcoal-like pencil. "Noughts and crosses?" he asked as she wrote down an 'x' in one of the squares.

Anko nodded. "Nobody on our side ever said anything about the matches needing to be actual fights," she said. "Implied, yes, but I prefer to fight only when necessary." As George and Jichou argued over opening the door to Yoru's treasure vault, she sighed. "Shall we avoid actual combat and count the winner of this game as the winner of our match?"

Although a bit anticlimactic and childish, Charlie wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He knew in a straight out fight, he would probably lose. While healed, his stomach would still feel a bit sore occasionally from when she had skewered him. "Sure, why not?" He crouched down in front of the makeshift grid.

Paige frowned at them. "You're not going to fight?"

"Puzzle challenge," Charlie said, drawing an 'o'. "Most RPGs have them."

"But I had a boss fight!" she protested. "It's only fair!"

"We fought once before," Anko said, marking down another 'x'. "I have nothing to prove by facing him again. If Lord Jichou dictates it, I will fight him once more. If not, he referred to this as a 'puzzle challenge', I believe."

"Puzzle challenges aren't like this!" Paige fumed. "None of you are taking this seriously! This isn't a game!"

"Isn't it?" Charlie asked, looking over at her. "Aren't you the one who insisted on coming here, thinking it was just one big game? We're just following the rules of the game. Unless you'd rather there be very real blood shed, like what happened to Mido. Who, I might add, poisoned your aunt."

Paige's features softened. "Will the baby be okay?" she asked quietly.

Charlie nodded. "She will. But Janice might be another story. We can't administer the antidote to her without killing the baby. By the time the baby's born, it might be too late."

"But that's not fair," Paige said. "Isn't there another way?"

"She won't take it," Ryou said, stubbing out his cigarette and walking over to them. "The only other way is for her to become a demon, but she understands the implications so won't do it."

"Why not?" Paige asked.

"Because she would live hundreds, even thousands of years," Ryou replied. "She would live, but would have to watch as everyone she cared about grew old and died. She would rather die than endure the pain of losing everyone that mattered to her like that."

"But that's not fair," Paige repeated. "Why should she have to choose?"

"Life doesn't always have a happy ending," Ryou said. "That doesn't mean we can't try for one, but we first have to face reality in order to try."

Charlie looked down at the game of noughts and crosses, not saying a word. He now understood what Ryou and Janice meant about a line that wouldn't be crossed. Janice had practically spelled it out to him before, but the implication hadn't hit him at the time. Ryou was a demon, so would outlive all the humans around him. Involving himself with a human would only cause him pain and heartache. And so Ryou would never cross the line to become that attached to a human, even if it caused him a temporary amount of internal anguish. He would deliberately hold himself back, not allowing himself to feel as free as he might in an even playing field.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Paige asked.

Ryou shook his head. "Not really. There aren't any miracles waiting to happen. All we can do is be there for her and give her strength. Nobody can face what she's going through alone."

Paige slowly nodded and turned to where George had finally relented and made the wall disappear. Sure enough, the vault appeared to be empty save for a burlap sack and a thin piece of wood. "I still like it here. But…" She turned back to them. "It's not what I'd hoped it would be. I'd still like to visit and level up, but maybe it's not time for me to set off on my journey just yet. I think Aunt Janice needs me more."

Ryou smiled slightly. "You might want to step in there before things get uglier," he said, gesturing to where Jichou was yelling at George.

Paige laughed. "Sometimes I really wonder if my dad isn't just a five-year-old in a grownup's body," she said as she walked over to her father and uncle.

Charlie slowly stood up. "I guess she's going back," he said, stating the obvious. He turned to Ryou. "If it's possible for a demon to be reincarnated as a human, would it be possible for them to revert back to their demon form permanently before the end of their human life span?"

Ryou nodded. "Theoretically, yes. I have a bet with the bartender at the Ogre's Lair on if Kuroi will do just that at the last moment."

"You think she will?" Charlie asked.

"I think she won't," Ryou said. He turned to walk out of the cave, pausing slightly to place a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "There are no guarantees in life. Whether it's crossed your mind or not, remember that before you do something rash." He didn't wait for a reply before walking away.

Charlie blinked a few times as he watched Ryou leave the cave. It took him a few moments for him to realize that by 'something rash', Ryou was referring to the elixir that could turn a human into a demon. While originally given to him as a 'safer' alternate antidote for Janice, it would work on any human. The cost was too high for Janice, and the payoff virtually nonexistent, so she would never take it.

He settled back down on the ground. Glancing down at the game, he realized he'd won, although he couldn't remember making any marks beyond the first.


	36. 10 Lullaby

**Chapter 10**: Lullaby  
[_March 2012_]

--- --- ---

Not for the first time, Charlie contemplated the small green vial Shin had given him before leaving the demon plane for the first time. He hadn't given it much thought after Janice refused to take it, but he'd been thinking about it quite a lot since returning from the demon plane almost two weeks ago.

It was a fact that demons generally outlived humans. In many ways, for a human to become a demon was giving them a taste of immortality, or at least a greatly increased life span. True, demons were still mortal, and could die just as any human could, but their lives were measured more in millennia rather than decades. It was the difference between that of a human's life and that of a gnat's. Many humans would kill for the chance to live for thousands of years. Charlie knew that the rationale behind that wasn't so much that they wanted to live, but because they didn't want to die.

It was also a fact that living such a long time had a heavy price. When surrounded by those who would live such a short life in comparison, life would be full of pain and grieving. He remembered all the funerals he'd attended right after the Battle of Hogwarts when Voldemort was finally defeated. While he didn't know the majority of the people buried, he still felt the loss. When his brother Fred died, he barely had time to grieve before it was discovered that he was alive after all. He later learned that Fred had been given a second chance at life, but he still hadn't felt the loss as acutely as he would have if more time had been given between the initial shock and subsequent relief.

Charlie wondered if he would be able to live in a world surrounded by people he knew he would outlive. He knew his parents would likely die before he did, and maybe some of his siblings. Or he might be killed by a dragon (or demon), and they would be the ones grieving him. That wasn't quite the same, though. Assuming everyone lived to the end of their natural life spans, he would be an old man when he attended the funerals of his family.

It was a fact that death was inevitable. Burying loved ones was unavoidable. That alone shouldn't be used as a deciding factor in such a life-altering decision. Maybe he should ask Tracy what the main factor in her decision to remain human was when she had the chance to live for thousands of years. Fred and George also had the same chance, and both opted to remain human. Tracy was closest to her original demon form, though, retaining her memories and a slightly altered mentality. He hoped it wasn't something as simple as not wanting to lose her loved ones to time, as that wasn't much better than wanting to cling onto life because one was afraid of death.

He knew he had no real reason behind his contemplation of the small green vial. He realized that Ryou had basically told him that while he theoretically could use it to become a demon, there was no promise that anything might develop between them. From what Charlie knew of him, he had to agree with that assessment. Ryou avoided relationships for a reason. He had the chance to live in the demon plane, but preferred to live in the human realm. Having a relationship with a human was doomed from the start, and it was possible that no other demons interested or understood Ryou enough for him to bother with. Ryou acted more 'human' than most demons they'd encountered. It was possible that he found traditional demon courtship to be just as strange and bizarre as Charlie did. Ryou obviously wasn't interested in casual sex, or else he wouldn't be a virgin. While it was possible Ryou might go for someone equally long-lived and of a similar mindset, it was possible that he really was happier alone.

Charlie sighed as he took a drink from his pint while staring at the vial in front of him. There was a lot he had to think about, and he was no closer to figuring things out than he had been before.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Charlie turned around in his barstool to see the voice that interrupted his musings. He could tell that Ryou wasn't very happy to see him there in the Ogre's Lair, especially since Charlie was drinking a liquor with a toxic green color. "Thinking," he replied before turning back to his drink and the vial.

Ryou's gaze followed Charlie's to the vial. "Don't be an idiot," he said, sitting down on the stool next to Charlie. "That isn't for you."

"Janice won't do it," Charlie replied, taking a sip of his drink. It didn't taste as bad as he thought it would. It almost tasted like Mountain Dew with a kick.

Ryou just looked at him for a few moments before he said, "Neither will you. There isn't a single compelling reason for you to do so." When Charlie looked over to him, he continued. "Theoretically, I could convince Janice to take it. I'd have to use methods that go against what I believe in, but I could convince her to take it."

"How?" Charlie asked.

"She's in love with me," Ryou said simply, looking at the drink menu. "Not the type of love you might be used to, which is all about satisfaction of your own lusts and desires, but the kind of love where the other person's happiness matters more than your own. The kind of love where it's fine if you're not together so long as they're happy, but where you'd pledge forever with the other person if you could." He looked to Charlie. "If I promised to be with her always, she would take it."

"But you don't feel that way about her," Charlie said.

"Not to that degree, no." Flagging down Merle the bartender, Ryou placed a drink order. "I wouldn't pledge forever with her. I want to see her happy, yes, but I also know that I can't make her as happy as she could be. Even without any obstacles, I wouldn't be able to love her the way she wants or deserves. If I were to pledge forever with her, it would be nothing more than a lie."

"And you don't want to lie to her," Charlie said, downing more of his drink. "What makes you think that the only kind of love I know is about sexual gratification?"

Ryou snorted. "You equate love and sex with one another. Don't think I don't know why you're staring at that vial with a pensive look on your face. You're thinking about it. Maybe you're hoping that if you did it, I would reciprocate whatever it is you're feeling for me." He leaned toward him. "Except you're not even certain of what it is you want, so to do anything irreversible right now would be the highest act of stupidity."

Charlie sighed and palmed the vial, putting it back into his pocket. "I want to remain friends with you, and for whatever awkwardness there might be to go away. I want things between us to go back to the way they were before this entire mess started in the demon plane."

"That's not what you want," Ryou interjected. "From my vantage point, that you had an erection over me and called my name out when having sex with someone else tells me that you're sexually attracted to me. If you just wanted to be 'just friends', you wouldn't have those thoughts about me." His drink arrived, and he took a long swig of it. "What you really want is to be with me, but you're saying that you'll content yourself with whatever scraps I give you for now."

Charlie's eyes widened. "That's not--"

"If I offered to take you to my flat and fuck you like you want me to, we both know you'd take me up on the offer," Ryou said. "You'd want things to go back to 'normal' afterwards, but you'd still take that one night if that's all I gave you."

Charlie shook his head and looked down at his glass. "I wouldn't want things to go like that! Maybe I'm curious, but I wouldn't want to throw away our friendship just for a one night stand with you. It would degrade us both."

"Why would it?" Ryou asked. "You have no idea what I want. Maybe I'm just as curious as you. For all you know, I could be looking for a glorified fuck buddy to satiate my carnal urges, and just haven't found anyone worth my time. I told you before not to worry so much about what other people want and focus more on what you want."

"It would be degrading to me, then," Charlie said. "I'm not some sort of dog that will wag its tail at whatever 'scraps' are given. I'd rather keep things the way they are now if I can't have it all."

Ryou was silent for a few moments before he smiled and took a drink of his beverage. "At least you're starting to figure it out. Think about it, though. It would be selfish of you to ask for all of me when I can only give you scraps, just as it would be selfish of me to ask for you to give up everyone you care about just for the slightest chance that you might actually want more than a shag."

Charlie was silent for a while, not sure of how to respond. He was saved from having to react when Ryou's phone rang, practically at the same time his own rang. Paige was safe at home, so that assignment should be over. He briefly wondered if Karin had another mission for them. "Hello?" he answered.

"Come to St. Mungo's," George said on the other end. "Janice is in labor."

--- --- ---

Charlie paced the waiting room, wishing that someone would emerge from Janice's private room to tell him what was going on. She wasn't due to give birth for another eight weeks, and nobody would tell him why the Healer in charge let Karin and Hermione into her room while he was forced to sit in the waiting room. From what little he knew, Tracy was in there as well.

"Would you sit down already?" Fred asked as he held his youngest daughter Olivia, who was just a month shy of her first birthday. She squirmed, trying to get out of his hold so she could explore the waiting room. "Just calm down and stop pacing."

"I'll calm down when someone tells me what's going on," Charlie said. "Why is she in labor? What happened? Why were Karin and your wife let in when I'm not?"

Fred sighed. "They're probably transferring spirit energy. Sit dow--" He stopped as Ryou's Ice Chain shot out, wrapping around Charlie's waist and wrangling him into a chair.

"What the fuck?!" Charlie protested, ignoring the dirty looks he received from some of the passing Healers for swearing. He let out another string of swears when Ryou let go of the chain, which wrapped around him and the chair, effectively tying him to it.

Ryou shrugged. "You never were able to sense spirit energy." He turned to Fred. "What drained her so much?"

Fred shook his head. "All I know is what George told me over the phone when he called for Hermione. From what I can tell, Janice had the Glove of Transference, and tried to use it with Tracy. It shorted out her remaining spirit energy, and here we are."

Charlie had no idea what he was talking about, but apparently Ryou did, as he was shaking his head and muttering 'idiot' under his breath. "I don't understand," Charlie said. "What is this glove thing?"

"It's a relic from the Underworld," Fred said, bouncing his daughter on his knee to try to calm her. "It lets magical ability transfer from a witch to a Muggle. Tracy used it years ago to give Janice her magical power."

"It also consumes a tremendous amount of spirit energy," Ryou said. "It forced Kuroi to take her demon form when she used it, and it flash-fried her kid."

Fred shot him a surprised look. "What kid?"

Ryou shrugged. "She was pregnant at the time, but didn't know it until after she miscarried. Janice is damn lucky it didn't do the same thing to her kid. That's probably why she's in labor. Kid's probably afraid that their mum is going to do something else stupid and wants out now."

Charlie looked between them. "So they'll be fine?"

Fred paused. "If we got to them in time. Janice was pretty drained before Hermione got here. Tracy said she was down to just her life force by the time they got here."

Charlie put his head in his hands. He wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it sounded bad. All he could do was hope that Janice and the baby pulled through. He didn't know what he would do if he lost them.

"George is upstairs in the tearoom with the kids," Fred said as he stood up, readjusting his hold on Olivia. "Shall we join them?"

Charlie shook his head. He wanted to be there when one of the Healers emerged so he could get an update on their status. Apparently Ryou declined as well, since Fred left by himself to the staircase.

"I thought she wanted to live," Charlie muttered after Fred was gone. "She was planning on applying for the position of Charms professor at Hogwarts in the autumn. Why would she give up her magic power if she knew it would weaken her this much?"

Ryou just shook his head. "You haven't spoken to her since you broke up last month, have you?" At Charlie's silence, he turned to him. "She's accepted that there's pretty much nothing she can do for herself. She might prefer to live, but at the same time she understands that isn't likely. Giving Kuroi her magic back was just one of the things she needed to do."

Charlie stared off in the general direction of the wall. "But why would she risk it if she knew Tracy miscarried for doing the same thing?"

"I'm not sure that she ever knew," Ryou said. "Kuroi was the one who told me about her miscarriage because I sensed something was wrong with her. I don't know who else she told. She obviously didn't tell Fred if this was the first he heard of it. I'm guessing George doesn't know, either."

"Why did you tell me, then?" Charlie asked. "It wasn't your place."

Ryou was silent for a few moments. "It's better not to dwell on 'what might have been', but if Kuroi ever does tell George, you deserve to know why George will most likely act even more irrationally around you."

Charlie gave him a puzzled look. "What do you mean by that?"

Ryou remained silent for an even longer amount of time before he sighed heavily and stood up. "It was your kid," he said before walking towards the staircase. He didn't even pause or look back as he lifted a hand and the Ice Chain wrapped around Charlie vanished.

--- --- ---

When Karin had first told him that he'd impregnated a woman who'd miscarried after a couple of weeks, Charlie had decided then that he was better off not knowing who the mother had been, or when it had happened. Ignorance was bliss, as the saying went. He didn't let it weigh too heavily on his thoughts most of the time, although he had taken time to privately grieve for what might have been. Not knowing the specifics had helped to prevent it from weighing him down.

He supposed that Ryou had left plenty of hints previously when mentioning Tracy's miscarriage. The demon had said that a 'powerful wizard' had impregnated Tracy, and that her oldest daughter Chloe would never have been born had she not miscarried. Had he stopped to think about it, Charlie could probably have figured it out on his own. The timing was right, as only a couple of weeks separated their one night stand from the time she entered Fred and George's lives as a criminal wanted by the Underworld.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked Karin as she walked toward him in the waiting area outside Janice's room.

"Tell you what?" Karin asked, tilting her head. She took a deep breath. "We're going to try to administer the antidote. Janice is in labor, and there are ways to speed it up before the antidote affects your child. If we don't administer it now, Janice probably won't survive. She's running off her life force alone, and it's growing steadily weaker despite Hermione's best efforts."

Charlie nodded mutely as he stood up. "Will my daughter be all right if you do give Janice the antidote?"

Karin paused. "I don't know. It takes a couple of hours to take effect, but--"

"I can't lose her," Charlie cried. He slumped back down into his chair, his legs unable to support the rest of him. He was aware that tears threatened to fall, but didn't care. "I-- You should have told me."

"Told you what?" Karin repeated.

"That Tracy was the one who miscarried the child I might have had before," he said, feeling a tear slide down his face.

"Oh." Karin sat down next to him. "You never asked for details, and I didn't want to complicate things by bringing them up."

"Then why bring it up in the first place?" he asked in disbelief.

"You asked," she said softly. She sighed. "I don't always think about the consequences of what I say. But if you really stop to think about it, did you honestly expect that out of the hundreds of women you've slept with in the past twenty-five years, only one would end up pregnant? Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned any past miscarriages, but how would you have wanted me to reply when you asked me if Janice was the first woman you impregnated?"

"You could have lied to me," he said, wiping away a tear tickling his cheek as it fell.

Karin nodded slowly. "Do you want to go in there? The Healer isn't too happy that we're in there, as she says no visitors are allowed and we should leave her to do her job, but you have the right to be there."

Charlie slowly stood up, grabbing onto Karin's offered arm for balance when he almost stumbled. "Do you think they'll be alright? Janice and the baby, I mean?"

Karin paused. "Do you want the truth, or should I lie to you?"

Charlie just wiped away the evidence that he'd been crying, not saying anything in response.

As they walked toward the door, Karin quietly said, "I think they'll both be perfectly fine. Janice will make a full recovery, and your daughter will be perfectly healthy and ready to go home in just a couple of days. Everything will work out, and you'll all live happily ever after."

"Karin?" Charlie asked as he reached for the doorknob. "You're a horrible liar. But thanks." He opened the door and walked in.

Karin smiled at him as she followed. "Any time."

Charlie hadn't known what to expect when he walked into Janice's room. He'd never been in the room when any of his nieces or nephews were born, and while he had been present for the births of some of his younger siblings, that had been so long ago and he'd been so young then that he didn't remember much beyond being sent out of the room a number of times. The Healers back then had been rather touchy about him trying to bring stray animals into the room. He still believed that his mother would have been cheered up when she was in labor with Ron by the dog Charlie found roaming the streets outside St. Mungo's, mangy or not. But visitors were discouraged while a woman was in labor, as his father explained. And animals certainly weren't allowed.

He hadn't expected to see Janice looking so weak as she lay in bed, surrounded by magical apparatuses that monitored the vital statistics of her and their baby's. She looked incredibly tired, and stray clumps stuck to her sweaty face.

The Healer in charge glared over at Karin and Charlie as they entered the room, but said nothing to them. The stern-looking woman turned back to wave her wand a few times over Janice's swollen belly, letting sigils appear in the air over her. "The baby's in distress. We need to induce labor. Get me a Calming Drought for the mother," she barked to a pair of trainee healers.

"Distress?" Charlie repeated. "What does that mean?"

Hermione didn't glance up from her position stooped over Janice, one hand hovering over her forehead and another over her chest. "It means your baby has to be born now."

"Is it working?" Karin asked as she went over to Hermione, who shook her head.

"Still no trace of Reiki," she said. "Her lifeforce is depleting more rapidly than I can replace it."

"Try harder," Charlie said as he mechanically walked closer to Janice's bedside. He knelt down by her, shocked to see her in such a state. He'd thought she was doing better than she appeared now.

"What are you trying to give her?" the lead Healer snapped at Karin, who had taken out a small bottle of a milky white substance.

"As I told you before, I'm her primary health care administrator," Karin said, uncorking the top of the bottle. "Just do your job, and don't interrupt me."

Charlie was surprised when Janice opened her eyes and glanced at him. "You came," she said before grimacing in pain as a contraction hit. "Where's Ryou?" she asked once she recovered from her contraction.

"Upstairs with Fred and George and their kids," Charlie said. "Do you want me to get him?"

"I'll go," Tracy said as she stood up from the corner where she'd been sitting.

Charlie hadn't even noticed that she was in the room until she spoke. He looked away from her, not knowing what to say now that he knew she could have been the mother of his first child had circumstances been different. His thoughts were just too jumbled at the moment, so he simply nodded. He briefly wondered if she knew that he fathered the child she lost, but quickly dismissed it as something that she obviously would have known, as Ryou would have no way of knowing otherwise.

"I'm sorry," Janice whispered, bringing Charlie's attention back to her. "I should have listened when she warned me about what would happen."

Charlie reached out to take her hand in his. Whatever might have happened in their relationship, she was still the mother of his child, and they were still friends. He hoped. "Save your strength," he said. "Focus on getting better." He glanced to Hermione. "How do you transfer spirit energy, anyway?"

"Unless you have the training to do so, don't attempt it when she's in this state," Karin said, handing Janice the bottle of what Charlie presumed was the antidote.

Charlie nodded mutely as he watched Janice down the antidote before making a face and crying out as another contraction hit.

"She's dilated enough," the lead Healer said. "Let's get the little one out of her."

Charlie was pushed aside by the Healers that would deliver his baby. While the Muggle world had progressed to the point where expectant fathers remained in the delivery room with their wives (or girlfriends), the magical community was not that progressive. Men were still expected to remain in waiting rooms, pacing around nervously until someone emerged to inform them that they had a son or daughter, and then celebrate with other family members waiting for the same news. It was obvious to Charlie that the head Healer wanted to kick him -- along with Karin and Hermione -- out of the room.

Seeing Janice in such discomfort in her haggard state was almost enough to make him want to go outside, but not enough. He was determined to be there for her and their child, and leaving now was not an option in his mind.

To avoid being in the way, he found himself a nice patch of floor by the wall. After sliding down it, he hugged his knees to his chest, trying to settle his racing mind and heart.

--- --- ---

Charlie woke up when he was unceremoniously kicked in the side by a familiar-looking boot. He glanced up at Ryou, who just scoffed at him before walking over to Janice's bedside. Charlie blearily stood up, wondering just how long he'd been asleep.

He hadn't missed the birth of his daughter, as Janice was still in labor. Janice was looking even more exhausted than before, panting heavily in between contractions. The contractions seemed to be closer together than they were before he'd fallen asleep. He didn't think he'd slept for too long, though, as she wasn't showing any signs of the antidote taking effect yet.

Janice looked to Ryou as he approached. "Ryou…" she greeted as he stood by her. "I'm glad you're here--" She screamed out as another contraction hit her.

"Don't push just yet," the Healer commanded. "Let's wait a couple of contractions." She glanced to the magical sigils in the air, which moved and re-shaped themselves every now and then.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ryou asked as he glanced to the sigils, trying to understand them.

"I was worried," Janice said.

He turned to her in amazement. "You were worried? _I _was worried! What were you thinking with such a dangerous stunt?!"

She smiled at him. "What's the point of living if you don't live dangerously?" She started to chuckle, but stopped as another contraction wracked through her body.

"Idiot," Ryou said. "There's a time and place--"

"Will you protect her?" Janice interrupted. "I don't care if it's allowed or not, but I'd like you to be Sophia's godfather." At Ryou's surprised look, she smiled. "Or godmother, as the case may be at times."

"You're naming her Sophia?" Tracy asked from where she'd gone back to her previous position in a nearby chair, her eyebrows raised.

"We never talked about names, but I think it fits," Janice said right before another contraction hit. Charlie took a few steps closer to her as the lead Healer instructed her to start pushing while the trainees tried to usher everyone outside.

Karin and Hermione put up a fuss at being asked to leave the room. Hermione threatened to have all the Healers fired if she had to leave, while Karin started naming random dates and horrible-sounding fates that she claimed they would suffer from if she was forced to leave. In the end, nobody was forced to leave the room, although Tracy left quietly to help Fred and George gain control of their broods, who were getting very loud in the waiting area.

Charlie turned to Ryou, who stood next to him against the wall they were regulated to if they absolutely 'insisted on staying'. "What's the deal with the name Sophia?"

"It was their mother's name," he explained. "Well, it was actually Sophie, but I guess it's her way of honoring the mother she lost as a child."

Before Charlie could reply, his attention was snapped away by the sounds of Janice screaming and a loud wailing that joined shortly therafter.

The few times Charlie had seen newborns, they'd already been cleaned. He briefly wondered how the tiny goo-covered red mass in the Healer's arms could possibly be a baby, but quickly chided himself for his own stupidity as a Severing Charm was cast on the umbilical cord. In a stunned stupor, he went toward the Healer wrapping his daughter in blankets, wanting to get a better look at his goo-covered daughter.

"Sir," one of the trainees said, placing a hand on his arm. "We have to take her to the adjacent room to clean and examine her."

He was about to protest when Janice screamed again. The lead Healer had given her some sort of potion and was stepping away with the empty flask. Janice's face contorted in pain before she fell silent, looking as though she was sleeping. Fearing the worst, his insides clenched for a moment before he noticed she was breathing.

"You idiot!" Karin exclaimed, glaring mutinously as the Healer.

The Healer sniffed. "I am following procedure of giving a standard Calming Draught to my patient before and after childbirth. She didn't have such a reaction before, and no allergies were mentioned. You, on the other hand, have been giving her substances of unknown origin and generally being a nuisance."

Karin glared at her for a few seconds before joining Hermione in transferring her spirit energy to Janice. She placed her hands over Janice as well, a soft violet glow emitting from them.

"Will she be okay?" Charlie asked, his eyes wide.

Ryou walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. He waited for the other trainee Healer to follow the first into the adjacent room with Sophia before he muttered, "Her life force is extremely low."

"It was low before!" Charlie proclaimed, batting Ryou's hand off him.

"Not this low," Ryou said in a somber tone. He looked to Janice with an inscrutable expression on his face. Tracy was trying to prevent the Healer from interfering with Hermione and Karin, claiming that they knew what they were doing and any further potions given or spells cast would only diminish their efforts.

Charlie turned to the door as it opened. Before the lead Healer could protest, Ginny stormed up to her, ordering her out while wearing an expression that made it clear she was not to be disobeyed. The Healer in charge shot her a defiant look before walking out of the room.

Ginny turned to Hermione and Karin. "Sorry I'm late. I came here as soon as I got the message." She walked over to Janice. "Things would have been so much easier if I'd been here. I hope that twit didn't interfere too much. Where's the baby?"

"The other Healers took her into the other room to be cleaned and examined," Charlie said as he sat down in a chair, not knowing what else he could do. He hoped that his sister -- who had become a Healer after completing her schooling and getting her NEWTs -- would somehow be able to fix this. She knew about spirit energy, and would occasionally employ its use in some of her cases.

"I'll deal with them later," Ginny said. "First we need to get her energy up and stabilized."

--- --- ---

In the end, all that could be done was for Janice's energy level to be stabilized. No amount of transference of spirit energy seemed to work while the antidote coursed through her system. Charlie had never realized that the antidote would take as long as it had, but Karin explained that the longer the poison had to run through her system, the longer the antidote would take to counter it. The Healer having administered a potion after the antidote was given only delayed the process. While the antidote continued to course through her body, Janice remained in a coma at St. Mungo's.

Three weeks after she was born, Sophia was declared healthy enough to go home. Charlie had to admit that he had no idea what he was doing. When he'd first learned he was going to be a father, he hadn't expected that he'd be alone in it. His family helped, but he knew they had their own lives and children to take care of.

All the time he'd taken off work was catching up with him and his boss was threatening to find a more reliable replacement soon. He quickly realized that working with dragons was far too dangerous when he was almost gutted by an angry Welsh Green. Looking for a new job when he had a newborn to take care of wasn't the ideal situation, but it was better than the alternative.

"You can always work for me," Fred suggested as he mixed up a bottle of formula while Charlie rocked Sophia in his arms. Charlie had left Sophia with Fred for the day while he did post-recovery administrative duties on the reservation, and had returned just in time for Sophia's feeding time. "I think there's a few part-time openings at the Diagon branch of Wheezes. I know George is looking for someone to replace Tostada at the Hogsmeade branch. Where he finds people with such weird names, I'll never know."

Charlie made a non-committal sound. "I'll think about it. Not exactly my dream job, though. No offense meant."

"None taken," Fred said as he handed Charlie the bottle. They sat down on the couch, lapsing into silence for a few minutes while Sophia suckled on the bottle. "Will you be allowed to live where you are now once you're no longer working at the reservation?"

"It belongs to the reservation," Charlie said. "Employees can live there with their families or whoever, but I'll have to clear out by the end of next week. Mum and dad offered to let me crash with them for a while." He wiped away a bit of formula that had dribbled down Sophia's chin. "Slow down, would you? You'll make yourself sick."

"I got an owl from Hogwarts the other day," Fred said conversationally, leaning back. "More of the usual about Jess getting detention for sneaking out of the castle, but she and Chloe somehow dragged Kyle with them. Maybe it was a good thing they snuck out when they did, because a couple of demons tried to attack the shop in Hogsmeade. I guess they didn't get the memo that George wasn't in that day."

"Are they alright?" Charlie asked, startled.

Fred nodded. "Nobody was hurt. Surprisingly, Kyle was able to subdue the demons while the girls alerted the proper authorities. I didn't realize he'd become that good with fighting and using Reiki. He was lucky that he wasn't hurt, though, because some of the wizards on scene did more to hinder him than help him when they tried to hit the demons with spells. Idiots should know that magic doesn't work against demons properly, and trying to 'protect' the one person present who can deal with them will just make the situation worse."

"The demonic community is hidden from us, much like ours is from Muggles," Charlie mused aloud as he took the bottle from Sophia and shifted her in his arms to burp her.

"I asked Karin about that," Fred said. "She said that aside from the possibility of mass panic, there's no real good reason for demons to stay hidden. Hermione was saying that it might be a good idea for Hogwarts to teach a class on magical beings, as there's already one for creatures. Maybe if there was a class like that, people could get used to the idea of demons existing and there wouldn't be a mass panic. Demons could slowly integrate themselves in the world. Or at least they wouldn't have to hide from us."

"Demons aren't 'magical beings', though," Charlie pointed out, gently patting his daughter on the back. "They're in a class of their own. Not to mention that there are so many different types of demons, that you couldn't cover even half of them in one year's time."

Fred shrugged. "So maybe they could have something like Demonology as an elective. Ryou could teach it. I don't think he has an actual job or anything, and he might be able to keep some of the more destructive Gryffindors in line. McGonagall has been talking about adding more electives to the curriculum. I heard she wants to drop Divination. It's become popularly known as the class that awards those with the wildest imaginations who put in the least amount of effort."

Charlie smiled. "Ryou as a professor. That's a bit scary, actually."

Fred chuckled. "Tracy is on the Board of Governors, you know. It lets her feel useful while she stays at home with her kids. She could make it happen." He placed his hands behind his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You know, Koenma's not happy that some guy in Japan made a fictionalized account of one of my predecessor's time as an Underworld detective. Some of the stuff I did made it into the manga, although was twisted around and credited to my predecessor. Next thing you know, someone will be writing books about us. Maybe even make a few movies."

Charlie chuckled. "We're not interesting enough. They'd write the books about Harry, because his story is far more entertaining."

Fred nodded. "We'd be regulated to side characters."

Hearing Sophia let out a small burp, Charlie moved her so that she was once again cradled in his arms. He placed the bottle back to his daughter's mouth, who greedily started sucking on it again. "I probably wouldn't have much on-screen time at all. I'd be lucky to get a few brief mentions."

Fred nodded. "Side characters never get the girl, though. Whoever writes Harry Potter's story would probably end up sticking Hermione with Ron or something like that. I'd probably just be left dead or something."

Charlie chuckled. "I think I've read the manga you were talking about. Wasn't your predecessor named Yusuke or something like that?"

Fred nodded. "There was also an anime series, and yes."

"I never realized it was based on a real person's life," Charlie said pensively. "I suppose I should have known with the way it went on about spirit energy and demons and all that."

"Koenma's 'trusted ogre' Jorge leaked out a bunch of stuff to some guy in Japan," Fred said. "He went with it, changing a few details here and there to make things more interesting and entertaining."

Charlie was silent for a while. Noticing that Sophia was dozing off, he took the bottle from her and placed her on his shoulder again. "Thanks for watching her today, Fred. I honestly don't know how I'd manage if it wasn't for all of you."

Fred smiled. "It's no problem. I forgot how tiny they were at that age."

"She's tinier than most," Charlie said. "Newborn clothes and nappies are still a bit big on her, although she's grown a lot since she was born. I'm just glad she's healthy."

"Strong, too," Fred said. "I can sense her spirit energy. She's got potential. I hope she doesn't end up fighting, though."

Charlie nodded somberly. "I hope she doesn't, either."

--- --- ---

Charlie didn't have work the next day, so took his daughter with him when he went to visit Janice at St. Mungo's. Just as could be expected from the last day of March, it was raining. Normally Charlie wouldn't have bothered with an umbrella, but he didn't want Sophia to get sick when there had already been so many odds against her. True, she was in her pram, covered with several blankets and the pram's built-in hood, but it wouldn't do for him to get sick, either. He wanted at least part of what Karin told him to be true. Actually, he wanted all of it to be true.

Janice had been moved from the delivery room to a different one on the level for Spell Damage. While she wasn't affected by any sort of spell, per se, none of the other levels really fit the description of what she suffered from. It was also the level best equipped for dealing with those in comas like Janice.

He noticed upon entering her room that Ryou was still by Janice's side. From what Charlie knew, the demon rarely left her side except to tend to biological needs like eating or using the restroom. Even Karin didn't bother him with any assignments, although Charlie was aware that there had been a few (that Fred and/or George went on).

"Still the same?" Charlie asked as he pulled up a chair and sat down next to Ryou.

"Worse," Ryou said, not taking his eyes off Janice. "Her life force is almost gone, and the poison is still in her system."

Charlie was silent for a while. When Sophia started fussing, he pulled her out of her pram, rocking her in his arms. "I can't sense anything," he admitted. "What're you fussing about?" he asked his daughter when she continued to whine. "I just fed you, so I know you're not hungry."

"Her nappy's wet," Ryou said, still not looking at them. "She'll start crying all out in a few minutes if you don't change her."

Charlie blinked, but reached for the nappy bag on the undercarriage of the pram while maintaining a firm hold on his daughter. "How do you know that?"

"Demons have more acute senses than humans," Ryou said. He glanced to Charlie and Sophia. "The way her digestive tract is rumbling combined with minute fluctuations in her aura indicates she'll have a bowel movement in about half an hour. I hope you brought plenty of nappies with you." He turned back to his vigil over Janice.

Charlie sighed and stood up. Hoisting the nappy bag over his shoulder while holding Sophia, he walked over to a table across the room to change her. "Let's get you changed before I have to change you again."

"It will also be a foul smelling one," Ryou predicted. At Charlie's silence, he asked, "What exactly does Janice want me to do, anyway? Besides protecting their charge, what does a godfather do, anyway?"

Charlie made a thoughtful face as he started to change Sophia on the makeshift changing table. He didn't know what it was originally used for, but he was claiming it as such now. "I guess it depends. Traditionally, a godfather's secular duties are kind of like being an uncle. Spending time with their godchild, taking care of them if anything happens to their parents. Stuff like that. Wizards aren't really as religious as Muggles, but a godfather's religious duties would be something like teaching the kid proper moral values and stuff like that."

Ryou snorted. "Because demons make such great role models," he commented dryly.

"I don't think you're that bad," Charlie said, carefully sprinkling a bit of baby powder to Sophia's bum so she wouldn't develop a rash. "You don't put up with much crap, and call things as you see them."

"Why should I waste my time with sugarcoating things?" Ryou asked. "Coddling one's brats just causes them to grow up lazy, spoiled, and unaware of how the real world works."

Charlie smiled. "How is Paige? I heard she comes here after school."

"Better," Ryou said. "She's not allowed to play video games unless they're at the arcade. She's made a couple of friends there, although her mother's worried that she might be using spirit energy to win stuffed animals in the claw game there."

Charlie chuckled as he carefully folded a fresh nappy around Sophia, although the laugh didn't quite reach his eyes. He still remembered what Ryou had told him about how the child he'd lost had been with Tracy. It was still a bit upsetting, but he knew that it was probably better that way. Chloe could never have been born if his child hadn't been lost, and it was possible that Tracy and George might not have gotten together. He knew they loved one another and were good for each other, and wouldn't want to stand in the way of that. He held no interest in her beyond a one night stand. If he really stopped to think about it, he'd been lucky that he hadn't caught any horrible and untreatable diseases somewhere over the years.

"Do you want me to do the whole godfather thing?" Ryou asked as Charlie finished re-dressing Sophia. "It sounded like Janice hadn't really consulted you about that."

"Another free babysitter," Charlie quipped. "Works for me." He laughed as Ryou glared back at him. "I honestly can't think of anyone else who I would trust in that position. That, and I'd like to break the cliché of 'naming brother X as godfather of newest Weasley Junior'. I can't even remember who all I've been named godfather to. It's become almost like a competition to see who can be named godfather the most times. I thought you didn't care what others thought or felt, though."

Ryou blinked and turned away, looking back at Janice. "I don't," he muttered.

Charlie smiled and walked over to him. "Here," he said, handing Sophia to a surprised Ryou. "Support her head like this. And don't look so surprised. You can't exactly bond if you never hold her."

Ryou's eyes were still wide and panicked-looking when he peered down at the baby in his arms. "You better not be planning on dying and having me watch after your kid," he muttered. When Sophia blinked up at him, he sighed. "And you better not be planning on addressing me as 'aunt' or any other female title. I won't care how old you are, you'll be encased in ice."

"You keep threatening to do that, but you never have," Charlie pointed out. "That time with Paige doesn't quite count, since that was an actual fight."

"I will also be teaching you several swear words in Makayan that you can call your dad and other people that annoy you," Ryou said.

Charlie smiled and rolled his eyes. "Because learning how to swear in the native language of demons is such a valuable skill." He glanced over to Ryou as he sat down next to the demon. "If Hogwarts started a class dedicated to studying demons, would you teach it?"

Ryou's eyes widened and he looked over to him. "Why would I? I possess no magic, and there are others better equipped for that than me."

Charlie shrugged. "Your name came up when Fred mentioned a class like that and possible teachers. Besides, the caretaker's a Squib and one of the professors was expelled before he completed his education. And who better to teach about demons than a demon?"

"Kuroi would be better," Ryou said, turning back to Sophia. She grabbed his finger in her tiny fist. "She knows just as much as I do, and is used to dealing with midgets. And she has her magic back."

"And a bunch of little kids at home," Charlie pointed out. "Her attention was spread thin enough before. I don't think teaching would help matters much."

Ryou paused. "If I'm asked by someone with the authority to make such decisions, I'll think about it," he said.

Charlie supposed that was as close to an agreement as he would get for the time being. There was no guarantee that a class like that would even be placed on the curriculum. They lapsed into silence after that, interrupted half an hour later when Ryou's prediction came true. After Sophia was changed again, their vigil over Janice resumed. And then…

Ryou sighed and stood up, closing his eyes. "Gone," he whispered, turning to the door.

Charlie was confused by what he meant for a few moments before the magical sigils above Janice flashed briefly before disappearing. Sophia started crying as an alarm sounded. Not long after that, a team of Healers rushed into the room.

"Gone," he repeated dully, rubbing his daughter's back to try to soothe her. He knew exactly how she felt at that moment.


	37. 11 Lost and Found

**Chapter 11**: Lost and Found  
[_April 2012_]

--- --- ---

It was raining the day of Janice's funeral. Somehow, Charlie found that to be rather fitting. Janice always had loved the rain, believing it to be hopeful and purifying rather than gloomy.

Ryou stood next to him, holding Sophia. As if sensing the general gloom of the atmosphere, the infant was silent. She was awake, but seemed to be content snuggling against the demon, wrapped up in blankets to keep her warm.

Charlie wasn't even listening as the vicar gave his eulogy. The words were empty, especially coming from a man who did not know Janice. Others spoke up, but their words rang hollow as well. Charlie never had quite figured her out, deciding that ultimately Janice was unknowable. She was someone more than human, but human all the same.

He declined to go up to give his own empty words. Janice was a woman who believed in actions, not words. As the funeral came to an end, and people went on their ways after the coffin was lowered into the ground, he turned to Ryou. He wanted to say something to him, but no words came to mind. Instead, he took one look at the despondent expression on his face before placing an arm around his shoulders. "Let's go," he said.

Ryou nodded as they began to walk away. He glanced down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "I meant what I said before. You better not plan on dying."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Charlie replied. "I quit my job at the reservation. I don't know what I'll do now, but-- It's too dangerous."

Ryou was silent for a while as they walked to the church. "You want me to stick around, I suppose. For bonding and taking care of her and stuff."

Charlie nodded. "Yes," he said. "I understand if you don't want to--"

"I don't like it when people are indecisive," Ryou interrupted. "I also don't like people who are demanding or highly opinionated. I like remaining in my comfort zone, and get uncomfortable with situations that force me out of it. It makes me feel like I've lost control over my life. Even though you can be highly indecisive and want me to step out of my comfort zone and deal with a number of unknown variables, I trust you. I recognize your indecisiveness as fear of rejection and failure." He glanced to Charlie. "I hate repeating myself. Don't worry about how I feel. Focus on what you want."

"You don't spare anybody's feelings, do you?" Charlie asked.

"No, I don't," Ryou admitted. "Nor should I. Reality can be harsh. One should always strive to become stronger, and that includes not letting their feelings be hurt by the smallest things." He shifted Sophia from one arm to the other, smiling softly at her sleeping form. "Janice wouldn't want people to mourn her. She'd want them to remember and celebrate her life. Yes, we should still grieve, but in the end I think she planned this."

Charlie gave him a startled look. "Planned this?"

Ryou nodded solemnly. "To get the Glove of Transference, she would need to speak with Karin or someone else affiliated with the Underworld. Janice might have underestimated the amount of energy using such a relic consumed, but it's more likely that she knew just how much it would drain her. She knew using the glove would hasten her demise."

Charlie was silent for a while as they continued toward the church. "Why would she want to, though?"

"Who knows?" Ryou stroked Sophia's cheek as she started to stir in his arms. "She understands that death isn't the end, though, so she doesn't fear it. What happens next is a mystery, but I'd like to think she's happy wherever she is. Who knows? She might even decide to become one of those idiotic ferry girls like Karin if she doesn't want to move on beyond the checkpoint at the Underworld."

"That's a possibility?" Charlie asked.

Ryou nodded. "Karin was a living human once upon a time. She might not remember her life, but she's proof that death isn't always the end. That, and I've been told there are ghosts and stuff at that castle where you learn magic."

Charlie nodded. He remained silent as the walked into the church. It was only then that he noticed that somewhere along the way it had stopped raining and the sun was trying to peek through the clouds.

--- --- ---

Life went on, as it had a tendency to do when one wasn't looking. Over the next few weeks following Janice's funeral, Charlie found himself surrounded by friends and family that wished to express their condolences. Although his parents offered to help him with Sophia when he'd moved back in to the Burrow, he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. There were times when he thought of asking for help, but those were mainly at two or three in the morning when he was completely exhausted and not wanting to get out of his extremely comfortable bed.

He knew that keeping busy wasn't the best way to grieve, so he did make sure to take set aside some time to remember and mourn. He'd heard someone mention some 'stages of grief' nonsense, but didn't remember what the stages were supposed to be or how they were supposed to be followed. He thought the last stage was 'acceptance', which he thought made no sense. Simply accepting that a person was gone wouldn't end one's grieving. He'd already known that this was a possible outcome since the attack on Christmas Eve. Even before then, part of him knew that Janice's life of fighting demons would catch up to her some day. She was never someone who would die of old age.

He knew better than to blame himself. In the end, what happened to Janice was a result of so many complications that it was better not to bother trying to figure out who held what sort of responsibility. Being angry with himself or others wasn't the best way to deal with his feelings, as it would just turn him bitter and drive people away.

Ryou's words about Janice preferring people to remember and celebrate her life helped him whenever he felt like falling into his grief. Janice wouldn't want him to mourn. She was a fighter that would insist on those who knew her to be strong and move on with their lives. While that didn't make the pain go away, it made the pain easier to deal with.

He accepted Fred's offer to work part-time at the Diagon Alley branch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, if only because he knew that moping around his parents' house while unemployed was no way to live. He didn't know what he wanted to do for a long-term career, but he knew his daughter needed him, so he would be strong for her.

Three weeks after Janice's funeral, Charlie was getting off work from his part-time job at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. He went to the Leaky Cauldron to pick up Sophia and meet up with Ryou, who was watching her. He walked over to the table where Ryou was sitting, raising an eyebrow as he noticed a few witches were surrounding the table and cooing over Sophia.

"She's so adorable!" one witch was saying, trying to get a closer look at Sophia. "Are you taking care of her all by yourself?"

Ryou's eye twitched. "I'm just watching her for a friend." He cringed when a few of the witches squealed with delight.

"How wonderful!" another witch proclaimed. "If you ever need help, here's my grate number on the Floo Network."

Charlie couldn't help but laugh as the witch handed a bewildered looking Ryou a slip of parchment. He slowly approached them, smiling as Ryou was handed a few more pieces of parchment. "That's one way of meeting women," he commented.

Ryou glared sullenly at the group of witches before turning to Charlie. "Are you ready to go?" he asked brusquely.

Charlie nodded and took Sophia from Ryou. "Are you sure you don't want to stick around and get a few more grate numbers?" he teased. At Ryou's growl, he chuckled. "Just kidding. Let's go."

"Is she yours?" one of the witches asked him as Ryou quickly stood up and grabbed Sophia's nappy bag. "She's absolutely a doll! Look! She yawned!"

Sophia had indeed yawned. Charlie shot the witch a weak smile and nodded as he walked toward the door that would lead back to Muggle London. "She's probably feeling overwhelmed," Charlie said. He silently thought to himself that it appeared Ryou was also overwhelmed, as the room temperature was colder than usual. He made sure to wrap Sophia carefully in her blanket.

"Let's just get out of here," Ryou muttered as he followed Charlie, leaving behind a gaggle of disappointed witches.

"You seem to be quite popular with the ladies," Charlie commented as they stepped outside.

Ryou grunted. "For some odd reason, women think that babies are 'cute'. There was nothing 'cute' about the nappy I had to change while you were working. What've you been feeding your kid, anyway?"

Charlie smiled. "Formula."

"Whatever it is, it's toxic," Ryou said, crumpling up the parchments he'd received. "I don't think a smell like that can possibly be natural." He tossed the wad of parchment behind him into the sidewalk. "I'm probably going to have to fumigate my flat to get rid of the lingering stench."

Charlie chuckled. "A Freshening Charm could clear that up," he said. "I've wondered for a while now just how it is you can find the Leaky Cauldron. And get onto Diagon Alley."

Ryou shrugged. "I pay attention." In their aimless wandering, they were walking in the general vicinity of the Ogre's Lair. "It's not that normal people can't see it, they just overlook it. I know where it is, so I'm not going to overlook it. Through here," he said, leading them through an alleyway.

"But without a wand, how can you get onto Diagon Alley?" Charlie asked.

"Magic and Youki are similar enough that I just have to place my hand on the wall and flare my Youki," Ryou explained.

"I wonder if flaring one's Reiki would work the same way," Charlie mused aloud as they continued walking through the streets.

"Possibly," Ryou said. "Your brothers Fred and George taught their kids how to use Reiki from a young age, and I've been told they have basic control over their bouts of accidental magic. Paige's ability to open inter-dimensional portals is actually a mixed use of magic and Reiki. I think magic and spirit energy are somehow linked together, but I have no idea what way that would be. Nor do I really care." He glanced to Charlie. "Where are we going?"

"Ogre's Lair," Charlie said. "And maybe I can get rid of the lingering stench of a perfectly natural dirty nappy."

Ryou shrugged. "Just to let you know, some guy at the Ogre's Lair offered me ten grand if I sold Sophia to him."

Charlie shot him a look. "My daughter is not for sale. And ten thousand what?"

"I know she's not for sale. I declined," Ryou said. "And ten grand fish. I think they were trout."

"Some guy offered to buy my daughter with _trout_?!" Charlie repeated in disbelief.

"They might have been carp," Ryou replied. "I'm not a fisherman. I'm not even sure if 'grand' stood for 'thousand', or if he was trying to say the fish were 'grand'. His English was very broken."

Charlie just shook his head as they continued walking to the Ogre's Lair. "I wonder if the similarity of magic and Youki is the reason why magic isn't very effective against demons," he mused. "Like how dragons have a natural armor against magic."

"Probably," Ryou said. "Youki is a living force, much like magic is. While those forces don't have sentience or anything, a demon's Youki will innately protect them, just as magic innately protects a spell caster. I'd say it's more an issue of power. If the spell caster is strong enough, or if the spell's strong enough, the demon's defense wouldn't necessarily hold up. Everything has a weakness."

"Like me casting a spell that neutralized Tracy's use of her spirit energy," Charlie muttered, remembering something Ryou had told him in the demon plane. That reminded him… "How is it that I can recognize demons as such now when I needed help from that potion before?"

"Exposure," Ryou said. "You went to the demon plane. You can't get more exposed than that. Your spirit energy is stronger than before. It's also a matter of your mind fully comprehending that demons are real, and you actually paying attention to your surroundings. People don't see what they don't want to see. They try to justify the unexplained."

The rest of their walk was made in silence. Charlie was a bit hesitant to take Sophia inside the Ogre's Lair, despite knowing that no violence was permitted inside the club. Thankfully, they were left pretty much alone as they walked through the club. Well, the bartender offered them a drink called a 'Zila Kren', but they declined and made their way to a door marked 'employees only' that led to Dimonnik Alley.

Charlie had been on the demon street a few times in the past so he could go to Ryou's flat for training. He hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary about the street at the time, although he hadn't been paying much attention. This time, though, he noticed demons of all sizes, shapes, and colors walking down the crowded street. They had just appeared as odd-looking humans to him before, although he couldn't help but wonder what part of his mind would have him see demons with shark heads or tentacles as 'odd but normal'. Some demons he could understand the justification for, as some appeared more or less human, although with odd colored skin like green or purple that was not found amongst humans.

He noticed that some of the shops and vendors were selling rather odd things. There were, of course, more 'normal' shops like a clothing store and a bookstore. There was even something that vaguely resembled an apothecary. He had no doubt it sold ingredients usually only found in the demon place. Further down the road there was a large building with a sign marking it as the 'Bureau of Immigration'.

Amongst the odder vendors, he noticed that one in particular had what appeared to be a demon child standing next to them, holding a sign stating 'child for sale'. Charlie frowned at that, as the vendor was obviously the child's parent.

"It's a scam," Ryou said, following Charlie's gaze. "The vendor takes the money, the kid robs whoever 'bought' them, and they move on to find some other rube."

Charlie still didn't think that was right, but said nothing as he continued to follow Ryou down the street, passing a meat shop that had skinned creatures of dubious origin hanging from hooks in the window. He did a double take as they passed a restaurant proudly displaying a sign stating, 'Now serving roast human, 50z/plate'.

"Roast human?" Charlie said out loud, holding his Sophia closer to his chest.

"It's horse meat," Ryou said. "Eating humans is the quickest way of getting deported back to the demon plane. Most demons around here never have, so they can't tell the difference in taste. Humans actually taste like chicken."

"How the hell would you know that?!" Charlie asked, aghast.

Ryou shrugged. "I used to play poker with a bloke named Grendel before he got his arse sent back to the demon plane for eating humans. He told me humans taste like chicken, and I'm in no position to contradict him." He paused. "Besides, everything tastes like chicken."

Charlie shook his head. "Whatever. Let's just get to your flat."

If Charlie had expected Ryou's spartan flat to appear any more decorated than it had the last time he'd been there, he was in for a disappointment. Were it not for a couple of dishes drying on the counter by the kitchen sink and a partially filled rubbish bin, he would have a difficult time believing anybody actually lived there.

"It doesn't smell that bad in here," Charlie said. "What'd you do with her soiled nappy?"

"Tossed it out the window," Ryou said, closing the door behind him. "The guy who lives below me wasn't too happy, but he complains about everything."

Charlie chuckled. "Did it land on him?"

Ryou smirked. "More like exploded on him. But he shouldn't have been standing on the fire escape and yakking on his mobile phone to begin with. It's annoying."

Charlie laughed. He glanced down at Sophia as she began to fuss in his arms. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Ryou set the nappy bag down by his kitchen table. "It should be about that time. Her last bottle was about three hours ago." He pulled out a can of formula and a clean bottle. "She doesn't like that teleporting thing you do. It took a while to calm her down after you handed her off to me."

Charlie sat down in one of the chairs, rocking Sophia in his arms. "I know. But Side-Along Apparition is the safest method of travel for babies. Floo is unsafe until they're about two years of age, and Portkeys are far too expensive to be used for everyday travel." He paused. "I really should move to London. It'd be so much easier."

"Then why don't you?" Ryou asked as he started to mix a bottle together.

"Rent's bloody expensive," Charlie said. "Formula and nappies are already putting a sizable dent in what I'd had saved from before, and I don't make enough working part-time to pay for rent on top of that. I can't exactly ask my brothers to stay with them for an undetermined amount of time. They have their own problems."

Ryou was silent for a few moments as he walked over to where Charlie was seated with Sophia. Handing him the bottle, he said, "You could stay here."

Charlie tilted his head as he started to feed Sophia. "Here? I can't even get onto Dimonnik Alley on my own--"

"The door will learn to recognize your spirit energy," Ryou said, referring to the 'employees only' door of the Ogre's Lair. Whenever Charlie had attempted to get onto the demon street on his own, the door would lead to an enclosed courtyard with rubbish bins. Only when Ryou opened the door had he been able to get onto Dimonnik Alley. "Make no mistake, there would be ground rules of you living here. I don't want to come home one night to find you've brought some fuck buddy back here. And you'd be cleaning up after yourself."

"You don't have to worry about me bringing anyone here," Charlie said. "But you'd really want me to stay here?"

Ryou shrugged. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't."

Charlie contemplated him for a few moments before he looked down at Sophia. "You're pretty good at the childcare stuff…" He smiled at her as she looked up at him. He kissed her on the forehead while she continued to suck on her bottle.

"Childcare involves more than knowing when they're hungry or needing a change," Ryou said. "It involves showing love and affection. I'm not any good at that emotional crap. You should know by now that I'm… cold."

Charlie wanted to argue against that, but he knew Ryou could hardly be described as warm and affectionate. Quite the opposite, really. He kept his emotions guarded, and it could be difficult to tell what he was thinking most of the time. "My mum wouldn't be very happy if she knew I was staying with you. She really doesn't like you."

Ryou shrugged. "I apologize for nothing. If she wants to construe a friendly warning as a death threat against her son, that's not my problem."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. He knew his mother had a horrible first impression of Ryou that hadn't changed much through the years, but didn't know what exactly had happened to give her such an impression. "Now I'm curious. You are going to tell me what happened."

Ryou smiled slightly as he leaned back in his chair. "The first thing you might want to learn if you're going to stay here is that I don't like people waking me up before noon…"

--- --- ---

Charlie had been right about his mother not being happy over his new living arrangements. She protested and argued that living with 'a demon with violent tendencies' was a dreadful idea, and no way to raise a child. She implored him to listen as she ranted about how Ryou was a horrible influence (although she never called him by name, referring to him only as '_that demon_'), and how he was likely just trying to gain Charlie's trust so he could do terrible things. He let her rant for the most part, only interrupting her when she tried to make it sound as though Janice's death was all Ryou's fault.

He knew he would calm down eventually, but Charlie was reminded of one of the many reasons why he had left home to study dragons in Romania so many years ago.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Ryou asked, narrowing his eyes and glaring at Karin. Only a couple of days had passed since Charlie moved in with Ryou at his flat, and they'd been called into the offices of the Tantei Detective Agency at 'too damn early in the morning', as Ryou had called it.

"I have an assignment for you," Karin said cheerfully, not to be deterred by the icy glare she was receiving. Or the fact that Charlie was currently using her desk to change Sophia.

"What makes you think we're interested?" Charlie asked, handing Karin the dirty nappy to dispose of. He folded the clean nappy around Sophia. "And I'm not even an Underworld detective anymore. I was just substituting."

Karin made a face as she dropped the soiled nappy into the rubbish bin. "I'm fully aware of that. However, a successor has yet to be found, and I need someone to deal with a todea demon that's been laying eggs in the office."

"Is this anything like that mouse that was in your office?" Charlie asked as he snapped Sophia's body suit back into place.

Karin waved him off. "Don't be ridiculous. A todea demon is much bigger. And uglier."

Ryou sighed wearily. "It's a giant fucking cockroach. Just call a damn exterminator."

Karin frowned. "I'll have you know that I did call an exterminator. He said that he refused to deal with anything bigger than a small dog."

Charlie's eyebrows shot up as he picked Sophia up from the desk. "How big a roach are we talking about?"

Ryou pointed over at one of the walls, where an ugly brown cockroach easily five feet in length was crawling up it.

Charlie's eyes widened at the sight of it. "That is one damn big bug."

"Now you know why the exterminator didn't want anything to do with it," Karin said. "That, and it screeched at him. Unearthly sound. He swore it was part of some alien invasion and went on about calling some men in black, whatever that means."

Ryou rolled his eyes and raised a hand. Ice crystals began to form around the giant roach, which let out a high-pitched wail and tried to scurry away. Its movements were impeded by the ice, and Charlie aimed his wand at it. It was worth a try.

"Reducto," he chanted. From past experience, he hadn't expected the spell to do much. Instead, a splay of greenish-yellow entrails splattered across the room and a good chunk of the wall was reduced to dust.

Karin frowned at the sight of the damage. "You will be fixing that wall."

Ryou chuckled. "That's one way to get rid of it."

Charlie slowly lowered his wand. "I thought magic… I thought it didn't work on demons…"

"It usually doesn't work on higher class demons," Karin explained. "On lower class demons like todea demons it can. There's a formula to it."

Charlie looked to her. "What kind of formula?"

Karin cleared her throat and stood up. She walked to the wall behind her and pulled down a white screen. The lights dimmed, although Charlie didn't see her turn down the lights. Nor did he see a projector of any sort, although a chart somehow projected onto the white screen.

"The Underworld ranks demons according to a class system," she said, somehow wearing a white lab coat and glasses. "The most powerful demons are designated as 'S class', while the weakest are 'F class'. There are high, middle, and low ranges to each class, with the exception of 'S class'. Before he entered the human realm, Ryou there would have been classified as middle C class. Now he would be considered to be in the upper B class."

On the screen, a cartoonish version of Ryou appeared. Charlie recognized the drawing style as the super-deformed style occasionally used in anime or manga. The 'chibi' Ryou on screen smirked and formed an Ice Chain moments before sneezing and turning into a female.

Ryou frowned as Charlie snickered. "Oi!" Ryou protested. "How powerful I am is none of his business! And that's not even funny!"

Karin pretended she hadn't heard him. "On the other hand, Yoru was of the lower A class, and Hiru of the upper B class before their entry into the human realm. Fred and George would both be classified as middle C class now. When they do take their demon forms, they'd be classified as middle B class."

The image on the screen was replaced by animated versions of the twins, who drank something out of a flask. The word 'poof!' appeared, and chibi versions of Hiru and Yoru took their places. The two fox demons looked at one another before Hiru handed Yoru a mirror. Yoru smiled and preened in front of the mirror.

"I find it hard to believe those goons were stronger than me at any point in time," Ryou muttered. "At least I can kick their arses now."

Karin waved him off. "Yes, we know. Keeping the demon classification system in mind, let's go into how magic factors in." The screen changed once more to show another chart. "Magic could also be classified according to the base power of a spell. If we were to use a scale of one to ten, something like the Killing Curse, for example, would have a base power of ten. I suppose wizards could also be classified like demons are in terms of power. The Underworld hasn't set up any sort of ranking system there--"

"Let me guess," Charlie interrupted, "if a wizard is powerful enough, their spells can affect lesser demons."

Karin nodded. "And if the wizard is less powerful than the demon, their spells will have no affect. If they're close in power, the base power of the spell determines whether it works or not. So does the demon's willingness to have a spell cast on them. Otherwise the youki and magic will neutralize one another."

Charlie quirked an eyebrow as a super-deformed version of himself appeared on the screen. The animated Charlie first tried to cast a spell against a demon with an 'E' on their shirt, obliterating the demon. Chibi-Charlie jumped up and down, with a speech bubble appearing stating, 'Wai! Wai!'. Another animated demon with an 'A' on its shirt appeared, and chibi-Charlie's spell had no affect. Chibi-Charlie sweat dropped before slowly backing away from the angered demon. The animated versions of female Ryou, Hiru, and Yoru appeared on screen to stand between Charlie and the angry demon, although Yoru was still admiring himself in the mirror. A thought bubble appeared above Yoru's head, stating, 'It should be a crime to look as handsome as I'.

Charlie's eye twitched. "I don't hide behind others," he grumbled. "And George is not that vain!"

"Maybe George isn't," Ryou muttered. "But she's captured Yoru's personality down perfectly." His eye twitched as his animated self was called a cross dresser by Yoru.

Charlie sighed and shook his head. He looked down at Sophia, who was looking up at him. "This is a waste of time, isn't it?" he asked her, tickling her under the chin.

Karin sighed and the white screen retracted back into the ceiling. The projector turned off and the lights came back on. "Look, the point is it's better not to try to use magic against demons. You don't know how strong they are, and you might not have a second chance."

"I'm not an Underworld detective," Charlie repeated. "Don't ask me to go on any assignments, either. I have a daughter to think about, and as I recall, you were the one who said I was 'poor detective material'."

Karin smiled slightly. "Just get rid of the eggs in the walls and we'll call your tenure over. I'd call Fred or George, but they've made it clear I'm not to call them for pests in the office. And I never said you were 'poor detective material'. Just someone who the Underworld normally wouldn't consider."

Charlie wanted to add that he didn't want to be bothered about pests in the office, either, but he decided to take the time to ask a question that had been on his mind for a while. "I know that Janice is probably happy where she is, but--"

"I can't tell you where she is," Karin interrupted.

Charlie blinked. "I wasn't going to ask that. I was going to ask if you knew she was going to…?" He let his voice trail off, leaving the question hanging.

Karin stared at him for a few moments before walking back to her desk. She sighed heavily as she sat down. "That she was going to die? There's always the variable of free will, but yes. I could see that she was scheduled to die. Knowing how long a person has to live is one of the more unpleasant aspects of my job. And before you ask, it's verboten to inform someone of when they're scheduled."

"I wasn't going to ask that," Charlie said. "But does that mean that our lives are predestined?"

"Not in the least," Karin said. "How long a person lives is ultimately up to them. The choices they make, the lifestyle they lead. The schedule is just more of an estimation on when to expect them and it constantly changes based off their choices and life style. A person who might have been schedule to die of old age might fall into depression when they're a teenager and commit suicide. Or a person who chain-smoked for forty years might quit smoking and save themselves from dying of the cancer they would have developed if they'd continued smoking for just a year longer. People have free will."

Charlie nodded in understanding. "And if someone knew when they were going to die, it would change things." He smoothed down a bit of Sophia's hair, which was sticking up. "You gave her the glove knowing how much it would drain her."

"She asked for it, even after I told her," Karin said. "It was her choice to make. She knew she didn't have much longer, and she was tired of pretending everything was fine."

"I suppose we should deal with the demon roach eggs now," Charlie said. He glanced to Ryou, who appeared to have fallen asleep. He shook his head, smiling slightly. "You did drag us over here pretty damn early," he said to Karin. "He was just getting in for the day when you called. There was a karaoke competition at the Ogre's Lair last night."

Karin quirked an eyebrow. "Everyone thinks they're a rock star these days."

--- --- ---

The todea demon and its eggs having been dealt with (and Karin's office receiving an unwanted 're-decorating' with large chunks of wall missing), Charlie and Ryou walked back to the demon's flat. Well, Charlie walked with Sophia. Ryou was stumbling more than he was walking.

"Why didn't you go home sooner?" Charlie asked after Ryou nearly collided into a lamppost. "You could have at least had a couple hours sleep before we were called in."

"I wanted to win," Ryou said, glaring at the lamppost. They were almost at the Ogre's Lair, which was apparently open all day and all night. "It might not be prestigious or anything, but I couldn't stand for someone with no appreciation for the classics to win. Besides, I know you don't get much sleep either, but you seem to cope just fine."

"There's a potion to give artificial alertness," Charlie said. "And I do try to get naps in during the day when Sophia is sleeping." He smiled down at her. "I'll be glad when you start sleeping through the night."

Ryou snorted. "Good luck with that. It takes a few months for that to start happening. She'll probably take longer because she was born early."

"If things had been different, she wouldn't be due until next week," Charlie mused. "Instead she's seven weeks old as of yesterday."

"Time flies," Ryou said. "Have you thought of what you're going to do for a real job? I mean, we both know you won't last long at your brother's shop."

Charlie paused in thought as they approached the demon bar. "I was thinking of maybe going back to Hogwarts. Teach something. Keep an eye on wayward nieces and nephews. Janice wanted to teach Charms. If I taught it, in a way it would be like keeping her dream alive."

"And who would watch your kid while you're teaching?" Ryou asked as he walked into the door. He grumbled and opened it.

Charlie smiled slightly as they walked inside. Ryou was apparently a klutz when he was tired. "During the day, I could always have other professors with a free period watch her. Or I could bring her to class with me. Something would be figured out before I started. And that's only if I got hired."

"Do you want to teach?" Ryou asked. "Or are you just trying to do something you know Janice would have done?"

"I used to teach newbies at the reservation," Charlie said. They stopped in front of the door that would lead to Dimonnik Alley. "While I'd rather have worked directly with the dragons, the teaching was much better than doing the boring paperwork when I was recovering."

Ryou made a non-committal sound as he opened the door. "Hogwarts is a fair distance from London. I thought you wanted me to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do for Sophia."

Charlie followed him onto Dimonnik Alley. "I do want you to be there for her. That's why I think you should consider maybe taking a position there, too. If not at Hogwarts, then in Hogsmeade. There are demons out there, if Fred's to be believed about how Kyle fought a couple when he snuck to the village with Chloe and Jessica. If you're worried about a job, you could always work for George--"

"I would never work for that idiot," Ryou snarled. "To do so would be to give him power over myself, which is something I would never do."

Charlie glanced to him. "I know you don't like him, but--"

"It's more than that," Ryou interrupted. "Maybe you're blinded to his faults because you're his brother, but he's not that different than Izuna. They use different tactics, but ultimately they're both controlling individuals. They strive to control those around them. With George, it's more subtle. I haven't been able to decipher whether he even realizes what he's doing with Kuroi is a form of control. He's an idiot, so probably doesn't."

Charlie was silent as they walked to Ryou's flat. "Izuna's the reason why you left the demon plane, isn't it?" he asked after a long pause. Ryou unlocked his door to let them in.

"I wouldn't give her that much credit," Ryou said, opening the door. "I left because there was nothing there for me. I ran away from Izuna long before I ever came to the human realm. I have no doubt that I'll meet her again. Maybe she'll have grown stronger on her own and seek revenge. Maybe she'll just try more of her petty tricks. In any case, the little glimpse you got of the demon plane is nothing in comparison to what it's really like there. You're expected to know your place there. You lead or you follow. If someone's stronger than you, you're expected to follow. If someone's weaker than you, you're expected to subjugate them to your will. I like it here in the human realm. Nobody expects anything from me."

Charlie glanced down at Sophia, who had fallen asleep in his arms. He walked over to the crib set up for her in one corner of the room and gently set her down inside. "Even if it's painful to lose people…?"

"Life is full of pain," Ryou said, walking over to the refrigerator. "Pain is completely subjective. I knew it was coming, so I was prepared. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It still hurts. But you can't know what it's like to be happy if you never feel sadness. For me, living in a world where I can be free to be myself and to be happy outweighs any pain and sadness I might feel when I do lose people I care about. The pain just makes me gain a greater appreciation for the little things that make life worth living."

Charlie gently stroked a finger along Sophia's cheek before turning away to join Ryou in the kitchen. "Yet you still keep people at arm's length."

Ryou pulled a couple of bottles from the refrigerator and walked to the table. He slid one of the bottles to Charlie, who studied the label. It was a demon brand of drink called Skelail, which Charlie had seen served at the Ogre's Lair but never tried.

"I assume you're referring to yourself," Ryou said, opening his bottle.

Charlie opened his bottle. He took a swig of it, expecting it to be bitter like Muggle beer was. He wasn't disappointed. "If you're not interested in someone, you should say so. You told me that I was making excuses before, but the whole 'line' thing is just an excuse as well. We both know there are options that make it a moot point."

Ryou took a swig from his bottle before setting it down. "I'd rather not get caught up in your agonizing over me," he said slowly, staring at his bottle. "You've offered nothing but excuses when it comes to me. Janice, our friendship… You should know me well enough by now to understand that I'm lazy, selfish, and inconsiderate of the feelings of others. I've never given you any indication of where I stand interest-wise because you've never given me a reason to."

Charlie frowned. "If you know someone is interested in you…"

"I don't know that, though," Ryou said, taking a drink of his Skelail. "You talk about it. You've shown obvious physical attraction to me. But you've never once tried to _do _anything about it. I offered you the chance to do something about it and you said it would be degrading."

"Because you were talking about throwing scraps at me like I was some sort of dog!"

Ryou shrugged. "I never referred to you as a dog. That was you. And I'm still baffled as to what it is you want from me. You're sexually attracted to me, but you want to be 'friends' at the same time. I offer you the chance to shag and keep things the way they are afterward, and you decline. That's why I keep telling you to figure out what it is you want, because you're sending nothing more than mixed signals. I'm not a mind reader, and I can't figure these things out for you." He took a swig of his drink. "Do you know why I invited you to stay here?"

Charlie blinked. He hadn't expected that question, although he'd wondered the same thing himself. "I have no idea," he confessed.

"You're someone I can relax with," Ryou said simply. "You accept me for who I am, and are even fond about me. When we're not having these repetitive conversations, you're someone I like being around." He leaned back in his chair. "But I think I need to quote a favorite movie of mine, and tell you to 'shit or get off the pot'. Either figure out what it is you want and do something, or quit your bitching. At least Janice was upfront about what she wanted."

Charlie's gaze flickered down to his bottle. "Don't you think the timing would be a bit tasteless?"

"Maybe," Ryou admitted. "I'm running off fumes right now and plan to sleep once I'm done drinking this. I know what you mean, though. The thing is… Timing is never ideal. Shit happens. A couple of weeks before she got with you, Janice had just ended a relationship with some bloke she'd been seeing for a couple of years. She watched him die as someone seeking revenge on her murdered him. His funeral was the day before you two hooked up for the first time. She put on a 'happy face' and pretended nothing was wrong, but grief does strange things to people. Should she have held back on going after you because the timing was 'tasteless'?"

Charlie glanced to Sophia's crib, where his daughter continued to sleep. "Things would have turned out a lot different, I think."

Ryou nodded and downed more of his drink. "It's best not to dwell on 'what ifs'. Don't forget the past because it has its way of coming back to haunt you, but don't dwell on it. Learn from it. Live as though today might be your last, but look toward the future. Whether something happened a day ago, a year ago, or lifetime ago doesn't matter. What matters is today and tomorrow." He finished his drink and stood up. "I'll see you later. Don't wake me up unless there's a fire or something."

Charlie watched him retreat into his bedroom, contemplating what he'd been told. Maybe he had just been making excuses and overcomplicating things… Before Ryou could close the door, Charlie stood up. "Ryou, wait…"


	38. 12 The Day Before Tomorrow

**Chapter 12**: The Day Before Tomorrow  
[_September 2012_]

--- --- ----

Charlie groggily reached over to silence the annoying buzzing of the alarm. He supposed he only had himself to blame, as he had been the one insisting on staying up late the night before. He knew they could have left for Hogwarts the day before so they wouldn't have to take the Hogwarts Express with the students, but Ryou had never taken the train and Charlie thought it might be a good experience.

After campaigning over the summer to add more electives to the curriculum, the Board of Governors had been successful in adding two new classes: 'Understanding of Magical Beings' and the poorly named 'Introduction to Spirit Energy'. Charlie wondered if the name of the class would change depending on what level a student was at, but he was glad that Ryou had been asked to teach it (and had been blackmailed by Karin into accepting the position). He himself had applied for the position of Charms professor and was accepted.

He noticed that the still sleeping Ryou was in female form again. The demon had caught a cold just a couple days ago, so had been rather miserable with the constant sneezing. Charlie had never realized that demons had their own version of the common cold, but was grateful that it couldn't be transmitted to humans. Not just because he didn't want his six-month-old daughter Sophia to get sick, but because he didn't want to catch a cold, which would be far more likely based off their proximity to one another.

As much as Charlie would have liked to sleep in a bit longer, he could hear Sophia starting to fuss in the other room. A glance to the alarm clock showed that it was about time for her seven o'clock feeding. Tired that he was, he slid out of bed, quickly slipping on a pair of boxers and a bathrobe before heading out to change her and mix up a bottle. She could get rather loud if she had to wait for too long, and he'd rather not wake up Ryou before he had to. The demon was hard to wake under ideal circumstances, but due to how late they'd been up, Ryou would likely wake up irritable. At least Sophia was sleeping through the night now. It had been rather rough when she was waking up every few hours for a change or bottle. Teething had been an absolute nightmare, and he knew there was still more teething in the future.

He cradled Sophia in his arms as she sucked on the bottle. She wasn't quite ready for 'solid' foods like baby cereal yet, but he knew she probably would be soon. She'd been watching them eat as if she wanted what they were having. Charlie thought that she'd have to wait a while before he gave her anything like the spicy curry or greasy pizza that Ryou was so fond of ordering, even once she was able to eat solids.

"Today's the day," he said to Sophia. "Are you ready to see the place we'll be calling home while school's in session?"

Sophia's response was to try to grab the bottle from him, holding it up on her own. He smiled at her, letting her do so. Even at such a young age, he could tell she had an independent streak, just like her mother. He hoped that she would grow up to admit when she had problems that she couldn't deal with by herself instead of bottling things up inside.

"You'll be going to Hogwarts as a student someday," he said. "Not until you're eleven, though. Your cousin Ethan will be in your year. I hope the two of you don't finish the job your cousins Chloe and Jessica started and cause any of your teachers to have a mental breakdown. Especially if it's me or your uncle Ryou. In fact, don't take his class, and focus on those where you might learn something new. I don't know who to feel sorrier for: him for having to deal those hellions his first year teaching because they thought it would be 'easy', or them for underestimating what he'll do to them if they slack off or try to pull anything in his class."

Sophia pulled the bottle out of her mouth to try to blow him the raspberry. Ever since Ryou had entertained her by making silly faces, she'd been trying to imitate him. Charlie chuckled and stuck his tongue out at her in reply. "I agree," he said. "I should probably feel sorriest for Madame Pomfrey for having to deal with all the poor students encased in ice and sent to her." Sophia smiled and brought the bottle back to her mouth.

After Sophia was done with her breakfast, Charlie placed her in her baby bouncer while he worked on cooking breakfast and making coffee. His cooking skills still left a lot to be desired (hence the constant take-out, as Ryou hated to cook and preferred to microwave everything), but he took consolation in knowing that at least he didn't set kitchens on fire like his brother Ron did. Charlie still wondered how Ron could set a kitchen on fire when all he was doing was pouring milk on cereal. Talent, he supposed.

The sausage was almost done cooking when Ryou groggily wandered into the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting at the table, glaring at the mug. Charlie decided it was best not to say anything until she had downed her first cup of the morning.

"You need a new alarm clock," Ryou said after she'd downed half the cup in one swig.

"I hit the snooze instead of turning it off, didn't I?" Charlie asked. At Ryou's nod, he smiled slightly. "Feeling any better this morning?"

Ryou glared at him. "No," she sniffed. "I'm tired, sick, and I'm sore. You never told me I'd be sore the next day."

Charlie chuckled. "I told you it would hurt. I thought soreness afterward was implied." He turned the burner off and started piling food on plates. "And you did tell me you weren't going to sneeze for no good reason. Why not use the opportunity of you being in your female form when we have it?"

She continued to glare at him. "Just because I was curious gives you no right to take advantage of me when I'm sick."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I never took advantage of you. You climbed on top of me, straddled my waist, and told me you wanted to try it."

"And how do you know I wasn't under the influence of that disgusting cold medicine that does nothing to help?" Ryou grumbled.

Charlie brought the plates over to the table, setting one down in front of Ryou. "Whatever." Before walking away, he kissed her. It was still strange to feel Ryou's soft feminine lips turn into more masculine lips mid-kiss. "I'll make it up to you later," he said, pulling away and sitting down at the table.

Ryou stared at him for a few seconds before he grumbled something under his breath and started eating his breakfast. It wasn't long before he sneezed once more, reverting to female form. Charlie chuckled to himself.

Ryou grumbled again. "What time do we have to be at that damn train station again?"

"The train leaves at eleven," Charlie replied. "I'm not sure who's driving, but we're getting a ride with part of Fred or George's brood around nine."

Ryou's eye twitched. "You're only telling me this now?" She sighed and continued to eat her breakfast. "Just so long as that idiot's not driving…"

Charlie shrugged and took a bite of his sausage. "They might have Fred or Hermione drive. I'm not sure how they're designating the drivers."

Ryou shudder. "I take it back. I don't mind if the idiot's driving just so long as that maniac Hermione isn't behind the wheel. That woman drives like she's at a bloody racetrack."

"She's a good driver," Charlie said in his sister-in-law's defense. "She just likes to drive fast. I don't think Tracy would let her drive her kids, though. But you don't have to worry about George driving. He doesn't have his license."

"Never stopped him before," Ryou muttered, but said nothing more about the subject.

After breakfast, they spent the time making sure they had everything packed. Charlie did, at least. Ryou had few belongings, and what she did have had been packed already. Charlie tried to remind her that there would probably be little need for a trunk full of weapons, but the demon still insisted on bringing it.

"I'm not bothering to pay the rent while I'm not here," she had explained. "It just makes sense to bring everything and find somewhere else to stay over the summer holidays."

Charlie looked around at the bare flat before shrinking down his trunks to fit in his pocket. He did the same with Ryou's trunk before casting another spell to make them lighter weight. At around nine, they left the flat for the last time before heading out to the Ogre's Lair, where they would be met by whoever was driving one of the three minivans.

Ryou looked visibly relieved to see that Tracy was the driver of the minivan that would take them to King's Cross. After strapping Sophia into her car seat, Charlie and Ryou climbed inside.

"Eh?" Ryou questioned when she noticed that Dylan was there without the other two triplets. "Where's your brothers?"

"After last year we're not allowed to ride in the same car," he lamented, digging through his knapsack for something. He smiled as he pulled out a partially melted bar of chocolate and unwrapped it.

"They were setting off dung bombs and firecrackers and tossing them out the window," Chloe explained, smirking. "It was pretty funny."

"No, it wasn't," Tracy said as she pulled back into traffic. "It almost caused an accident." The drive continued in silence for a few minutes until she sniffed and made a face. "Either someone's setting off dung bombs, or one of the kids needs their nappy changed."

"Nappy change," Ryou said, holding her nose. "Your kid." She rolled down her window, trying to air out the vehicle.

Tracy sighed and pulled into the nearest parking lot of a gas station. "Nobody gets out," she said as she turned off the engine and climbed into the back to change her youngest son Ethan.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Dylan said.

"She said 'nobody gets out'!" Chloe snapped. "The sooner Stinky there gets changed, the sooner I can get on the train."

Tracy shot her a suspicious look. "Charlie, go with Dylan. Make sure he doesn't buy any candy."

"Mum!" Dylan protested. He made an exasperated sound. "Never mind. I don't really need to go. And Chloe just wants to get there so she can snog her boyfriend."

"Logan's not my boyfriend," Chloe said defensively. "We may fool around every now and then, but we're not dating."

"You shouldn't be fooling around with anyone," Tracy said disapprovingly as she changed Ethan's nappy. "You're too young to date."

Chloe frowned. "I'm thirteen, mum. And that reminds me. You forgot to sign my permission form for Hogsmeade."

"I didn't forget," Tracy said. "You don't need it until the first Hogsmeade weekend, anyway. I'll make sure to send it to Professor McGonagall before then."

"The professors are out to get me, mum!" Chloe complained, throwing her hands into the air dramatically. "I keep telling you that what happened in History of Magic was not my fault! Besides, it woke everybody up, and I've never seen Professor Binns look so lively. He can move pretty fast for a dead guy."

Charlie exchanged a glance with Ryou, who shrugged before a sneezing fit took over. He smiled slightly as the demon grumbled under her breath.

They reached King's Cross Station not long after Tracy finished changing Ethan and restarted the car, thankfully without incident. Not long after that, they'd parked and found their way onto Platform 9 ¾, where Hermione's group was already waiting. Kyle was sitting atop his trunk, reading one of his textbooks. Emma was arguing about something with Jack, who would be in her year when they started Hogwarts two years later. Brandon was making faces at his younger sister Olivia, much to her delight. Luke ran up to Dylan as they approached, no doubt planning what mischief they'd get into once reunited with Adam.

"Have you been waiting long?" Tracy asked as she approached Hermione.

Hermione shook her head. "Not long." She turned to Ryou. "Are you excited about going to Hogwarts?"

Ryou sniffed before sneezing once more. "If I say 'yes', will you leave me alone and find someone else to talk to?"

Hermione quirked an eyebrow. "Sociable as always, I see."

Charlie shot her an apologetic look. "She has a cold," he explained. "Bad mood."

"Chloe, get back here," Tracy called as her oldest daughter wandered off toward a group of students that had already gathered.

Chloe ignored her mother, sidling up next to a lanky boy with dark hair that was presumably the infamous Logan Montague, who may or may not be her boyfriend. He glanced nervously around the platform before smiling and sliding his hand into hers.

"Keep an eye on them, will you?" Tracy asked Charlie and Ryou, turning to them. "I do not want to be called into the Headmistress' office again to hear that they were caught doing inappropriate things. Chloe tried to give George a heart attack this morning by telling him that she hadn't menstruated all summer."

Charlie's eyes widened in shock before he glanced to where Chloe was standing with Logan and his friends. "Do you think she's--"

Tracy waved him off. "No, she's not pregnant. She just had her period last week. Of course, George doesn't want to hear about that 'girly' stuff--"

"And neither do we," Ryou interrupted.

"We'll keep an eye on them, though," Charlie said.

Tracy nodded. "Good. And could I ask you to occasionally swing by their compartment on the train? I'm not sure if Jessica is to be believed or not, but I overheard her grumbling about having been kicked out of their compartment on the train home for summer because -- and I quote -- 'Chloe wanted him to pop her cherry'."

"Don't worry, Aunt Tracy," Kyle said as he glanced up from the book he was reading. "I noticed my sister standing outside her compartment looking put out, so I pulled the door open to investigate. As far as I could tell, they hadn't gotten that far yet."

Tracy turned to him. "Why didn't you say anything before? And just how far did they get?"

Kyle shrugged. "I heard you ground her for the summer, so I didn't think it was important enough to give her any more reason to go after me. And they still had their clothes on, although she had her hand down his pants. It was nothing in comparison to when I caught her giving him a blowjob in the Gryffindor common room a week before the end of term. I notified a professor immediately, and presumed you'd been informed about that. I mean, he's a Slytherin, so had absolutely no reason to be in our common room to begin with!"

Tracy's mouth thinned into a line, and she immediately turned to storm over to where Chloe was with Logan and his friends.

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Isn't she a bit young to be doing things like that?"

Kyle looked back down at his textbook. "Have you ever seen some of the fashions available for children these days? Walk through any department store, and you'll find that seventy-five percent of all outfits for little girls is better suited for a prostitute than a child. Not to mention her upbringing with parents who are quite open about their sex life."

Hermione made a face. "That's a bit harsh, Kyle…"

"Uncle Charlie?" five-year-old Brandon asked, glancing over at him. "What's a 'blow job'?"

Charlie was really glad when Fred's group arrived, if only because it provided a distraction from awkward questions about 'blow jobs' and 'cherry popping' from children who really needed to start asking their parents things like that. He wondered if Fred and George were telling their kids that he was the person to go to with any questions they had regarding sex. He wouldn't put it past them.

George looked over to where Tracy was arguing with Logan's father while Logan looked around nervously and Chloe looked amused by the proceedings. Without a word, George frowned and walked over to join the argument.

"Adam!" Luke called to his brother. "We've had the bestest idea ever! Get over here!"

Adam smiled widely and joined his brothers where they were huddled together. "The bestest idea ever? Count me in!" he proclaimed as he quickly went over to join them.

Charlie didn't want to know what the 'bestest idea ever' was, so he turned to Paige, who was still wearing the goggles and collar from the demon plane, but was looking more or less normal. Her hair was still pulled back in spikes, but they were no longer gravity defying. "Are you excited about going to Hogwarts?"

"The way I see it," she began, pushing the goggles up to rest on top of her head, "I can wait for my grand adventure to begin. I'll study hard to become a curse breaker in some exotic land, just as Uncle Bill had been. At some point of time, I'll befriend a teenaged goblin who is shunned by his or her people for some reason. When the chieftain of their people is either held captive or murdered by the bad guys, they decide to join my quest to stop the villains. Along the way, our traveling party will grow. We'll have the obligatory comic relief, possibly in the role of thief or cleric, and we need the dark anti-hero. I think Teddy Lupin would be good in that role. I'll have to speak to him once we get to Hogwarts. Right now he's not dark enough in temperament, but he's an orphan, and he has that dark background of being the offspring of a werewolf going for him. If Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny get here soon, maybe I'll have the chance to speak with Teddy before we get to Hogwarts. And of course we'll need a villain." She made a thoughtful face. "I wonder if we should have someone who's just plain evil for no good reason, or someone who has tragic and sympathetic reasons for doing evil things."

Charlie blinked after her speech ended. "Er, good luck with that." He glanced to where Tracy and George were both arguing with Logan's father and sighed. "Have you ever thought of letting the adventure come to you?"

Paige shrugged. "Nothing is set in stone. But I will become a curse breaker, because if all else fails I can raid tombs and fight bandits."

Charlie could have pointed out that bandits didn't really exist in the modern era, but decided to let her live with her delusions.

He was glad when they were finally allowed to get onto the train. He leaned back in his seat after carefully placing Sophia's carrying cradle on the floor of the compartment. It was much safer on the floor than on the seat, because he remembered how jerky the train could be at times.

Ryou covered herself in her leather duster, closing her eyes. "Do midgets get to choose where they sit in class, or are there assigned seats?"

Charlie bent down to check on Sophia, who was looking around the compartment in wonder. "It's up to the professor." He sighed heavily as he heard a small explosion a few compartments away. "Sounds like Jessica's not wasting any time." He stood up, resigned to his fate of having to deal with rule breakers before term even started. It would have been nice if they could have at least pulled out of the train station first.

--- --- ---

There were three well-known facts about Weasley children: they had red hair, there tended to be a lot of them, and they were all sorted into Gryffindor. The first was not necessarily fact, as there were noticeable exceptions. Emma, Brandon, and Jack had brown hair, Caitlin and Victoire both had blonde hair (although Victoire's hair was more of a strawberry blonde), and Dominique had black hair. Although her hair was dyed, so probably didn't count. Ginny's son Albus had black hair like his father, although he was technically a Potter so served as an exception to the facts of Weasley children.

As for the second fact, Ron had no children (and didn't want any), and with the exception of Fred and George, most of Charlie's other siblings had three children or less. When taking all twenty-three of the children into consideration, that fact could be taken at face value. But considering how nine of those children were George's, fourteen children amongst six adults averaged out to 2.3 children per adult, which wasn't that bad at all. Taking Fred and his five children out of the equation as well meant nine children amongst five adults, or an average of 1.8 children per adult. So the second fact wasn't really factual, either.

As for the third fact, it might have been true that Weasleys had a tendency to end up in Gryffindor, but it was by no means a guarantee. As Charlie sat at the staff table watching the sorting of the first years, he wasn't surprised in the least when Paige became the first Weasley in several generations to be sorted into Slytherin. Warped that she might be, she was ambitious enough to strive for nothing less than the leading role of the twisted game she viewed real life as. She used her intelligence to plot how to overcome setbacks like having her cherished games taken away from her, and viewed people as supporting characters to help her through her journey.

"What's the deal with all the midgets?" Ryou asked once the sorting ceremony was over. "Why not just open fire and see where they scatter instead of this gratuitous ceremony?"

"Tradition," Charlie said, trying to refrain from laughing as their plates began to fill as the feast began. Before they'd exited the train, he had helped Ryou to take his male form because the demon did not want people to first meet him in female form. Charlie thought it shouldn't really matter, but understood that Ryou still had yet to accept the curse on him. Maybe he was resigned to it, but not accepting of it.

Charlie had asked him once why he didn't go back to see if Shin had found a cure when they went back to the demon plane, but Ryou had explained that researching such things took time, especially since Shin was helping him out of curiosity alone. Ryou also explained that he already knew of a cure, but Charlie doubted that he would ever take the cure of marrying Izuna, no matter how bothered by the curse he might be.

Ryou snorted as he picked at his food. "I don't see why they feel the need to divide the midgets in such an inane and time-consuming manner, even if it is 'tradition'."

Charlie shrugged as he held Sophia in his arms, helping her to hold her bottle. She was at the point where she wanted to eat whenever Charlie did (with a few feedings in between), and she could be quite fussy if she wasn't fed first. He was aware that a number of people (mainly female) were looking over at Sophia, going on about how cute she was. A number of people had gone up to him on the train, wanting to coo over Sophia. A few people had even asked if they could hold her. It annoyed Ryou to the point where he'd welded the door to their compartment shut with ice.

Since Ryou's class was new enough that it was doubtful that many students above third year would take it (since they had to focus on classes they would be taking OWLs or NEWTs for), he would be watching Sophia through most of the day while Charlie taught Charms. Charlie would take her to class with him during the time when Ryou was teaching, and hoped that she wouldn't be too much of a distraction.

"The house a person is sorted into becomes their home for the next seven years," Charlie said. "It's where they'll meet the friends they make. The Sorting Hat places them in the house where it thinks they'll do best."

"Why not draw lots, or figure out some numbering system?" Ryou asked, taking a bite of roast beef. "From what that hat thing sang before it started that sorting thing, it wants people from the houses to unite. Why split them up in the first place? Tradition? I'd say it would be better to just do something completely arbitrary instead of keying in on certain personality traits. I heard you muttering about how George wasn't going to be happy when Paige was placed in that slithering place."

"Slytherin," Charlie corrected. "And he was a Gryffindor back in the day. The two houses have always been rivals. Tracy was a Slytherin, so she'll straighten him out if he tries to show anything less than congratulatory."

Ryou didn't look convinced, but said nothing more about the subject. Charlie did think that maybe he did have a point. When he was a student, it was rare to see people associate with those outside their own house. The rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin was bad, although not as nasty as it was during his brother Ron's years. Maybe it was a step in the right direction for their children to break that division. Chloe was friends (or maybe more) with a Slytherin, and she would always be Paige's sister.

He sighed as Sophia finished her bottle, seeming to content herself in his arms and not wanting to be placed in the carrying cradle. He had mastered the art of eating while holding her, so enjoyed the rest of the feast in silence. Although he did snicker when Ryou sneezed during the middle of the feast and let out a long stream of profanities.

--- --- ---

"Ryou?" Charlie asked as he sat down across from Ryou at their table in the three Broomsticks. They were celebrating the first week of classes drawing to a close by going to the village for drinks. Charlie was also trying to snap himself out of the mood he was in after Chloe 'retaliated' for his refusal to sign her permission form to Hogsmeade by turning his hair a putrid shade of vomit green. "Did you really tell your students that if any of them found a cure for your curse that they would automatically receive top marks in all of their OWLs and NEWTs?"

"Yeah," Ryou said as he ordered himself a glass of Firewhisky from the waitress. "Why?"

"Because that's not up to you," Charlie said as he took Sophia out of her pram and held her in his lap. She looked over at the waitress and smiled. The waitress cooed at her before attempting to flirt with him. After he made it clear he wasn't interested, she walked off to fill their orders. "The OWLs and NEWTs are administered by the Ministry," he said to Ryou.

Ryou shrugged, unconcerned. "Whatever. And why did you tell me I'd probably only be teaching third years?" he asked accusingly. "In addition to the blasted third years, I have half the fourth and fifth years, with some bloody sixth and seventh years thrown in for good measure!"

Ryou's class had apparently been very popular, possibly due to the sheer novelty of it. Interest had been high, and the Ministry was now scrambling to come up with the requirements for receiving one's OWLs and NEWTs in that class, two years sooner than anticipated. Charlie presumed that Hermione, Tracy, and Karin would be helping to determine what students needed to know since it was their combined efforts that brought the class into existence. Meanwhile, Ryou had to bring the older students up to speed on years' worth of classes. It was a daunting task that the demon was not happy about.

"I didn't think that many of the older students would take it," Charlie said apologetically, making a silly face at Sophia, who laughed. He took his Butterbeer from the returning waitress and looked over to Ryou. "But was it really necessary to send three students to the hospital wing on the first day?"

"I released them from the ice at the end of class," Ryou said defensively.

"They had to be treated for hypothermia," Charlie said.

"Fucking midgets need to learn some fucking manners," he muttered as he took a sip of his Firewhisky.

"Let me guess. They made comments when you sneezed in class, didn't they?" Charlie asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"She threw her hat down to the ground again," Ryou said about Sophia, dodging the subject and confirming Charlie's theory. The infant had indeed taken off her hat and thrown it to the ground. Charlie rolled his eyes and picked it up.

"You might want to get used to it," he told her, setting her hat down on the table and checking her forehead. She seemed to be warm enough without it. "The weather's just going to get colder."

Ryou chuckled. "She's overheating a bit. It's warm outside, and even warmer in here." He suddenly glanced to the door, where a tall man with green skin, pointed ears, and an eye patch was walking in. He quirked an eyebrow and turned back to Charlie. "I gotta give him credit. It takes balls to come to a place like this when he's on the Underworld's most wanted list."

Charlie tilted his head. "Who? The demon that just walked in?" It didn't faze him that a demon should walk into the Three Broomsticks. He'd learned that there was a small settlement of demons a few miles away from Hogsmeade, and an unreliable portal to the demon plane somewhere in the forest in between the two villages. Demons would occasionally wander into Hogsmeade, some looking for trouble, while others looking for a place to relax away from prying eyes. Since most humans couldn't recognize demons as such, it came as little surprise that nobody noticed how odd the green-skinned demon looked.

Ryou shot him an incredulous look. "You don't recognize that tosser? The bloke responsible for that stunt last Halloween?"

"That's Vallum?" Charlie asked, glancing back at the demon, who sat down by the bar and ordered a drink. "Should we arrest him?"

"Why?" Ryou asked, calmly leaning back in his chair and downing more of his drink. "You're not the Underworld's puppet anymore, and I could care less about starting a fight right now." He glanced to Sophia, who was looking around the pub. "I know that you heard about the time when I went with Kuroi and the two stooges to arrest Vallum and we ended up switching bodies?"

Charlie nodded. He had heard more about the incident than he really cared to know. "It wouldn't be that bad if we switched bodies. Might be fun, actually."

"Maybe if it was just you and me," Ryou conceded, "but keep in mind your kid's with us. Do you think it would be fun if she were to be trapped in one of our bodies, while one of us was trapped in hers?"

Charlie inwardly shuddered at the thought. That would be disastrous if it were to happen. He supposed that since Vallum hadn't really done anything wrong recently, there was no point in approaching the demon.

"Still…" Ryou said, standing up. "He is the one who designed this curse on me. It'll probably take Shin a while to figure one out, so I might as well get him on it as well. The bastard put it on me, he can take it off me."

Charlie wasn't so sure that was a very good idea, but Ryou started walking toward Vallum before he could protest. He kept a close eye on them as they conversed briefly, protectively holding Sophia closer to himself. "I'm pretty sure Uncle Ryou will be safe," he told her as she looked up to him. He tapped her nose and she smiled at him. He'd never met Vallum before, but had heard of him.

Magic wasn't exclusive to humans. While the methods one practiced magic varied, it was also practiced by creatures not from the human realm. The Underworld, for instance, had its own type of magic that was used. And there were demons that employed sorcery and other forms of magic. Shin, for example, employed the use of magic in coming up with powders and elixirs. Even the magic used by humans was done in varying styles. While working at the dragon reservation in Romania, he'd met wizards and witches who had studied different forms of magic, such as voodoo or alchemy. Magic was one of those things that couldn't easily be labeled and defined.

He knew enough about Vallum to know that he practiced a form of demonic sorcery. While not very strong physically, his intelligence and proliferation of tricks made him a force to contend with. He hoped that Ryou would be fine against him, although their conversation seemed to be going well enough. Nobody was making any sudden movements, at least.

Eventually Ryou came back, sitting down with an unreadable expression on his face. He took a swig of his Firewhisky before saying, "He'll work on it."

"What did you say to him?" Charlie asked, releasing a sigh of relief that he didn't know he'd been holding in.

Ryou smirked. "I made it clear he'll lose his other eye if he doesn't. Along with a few other body parts."

Charlie shot him a look of disbelief. "And you think threats will work? I'm surprised he didn't try anything."

"I can be civil," Ryou said succinctly, taking a drink of his Firewhisky. "I also promised that I'd supply a few test subjects for his next experiment if he helped me out."

While that wasn't too surprising, Charlie frowned in disapproval. "You promised test subjects. Honestly, Ryou--"

"Don't lecture me," he interrupted. "You don't know what he's planning, or who I plan on giving to him. You don't need to worry about anyone you know, though. He doesn't need anyone human."

Charlie didn't think that made it any better, but said nothing more about it. He knew finding a cure was important to Ryou, although he privately believed that it might be better to just accept it. The curse didn't seem to be anything more than inconvenient, really. He knew that Ryou wasn't a woman, even when in female form. Ryou viewed himself as a man, and the curse didn't come with all the pitfalls of being a woman. His female form had no menstrual cycle, so as far as either of them knew, the change was purely cosmetic.

"I think we need to come up with a different system for child care," Charlie said, taking a sip of his Butterbeer. "My students don't want to pay attention in class when Sophia's there."

"It's the novelty," Ryou responded. "It'll wear off after a while. Some people think babies are cute. I'd say make the worst of the bunch change a few stink bombs and get puked on a couple of times. They won't think she's so cute then. If you want, though, I could watch her during my classes. My students already know I don't put up with any crap."

Charlie could have easily pointed out that they were terrified of him, but that wasn't quite true. While there was some level of fear involved, Ryou had a number of students who admired and respected him for his no-nonsense attitude and refusal to play favorites. That, and some students mistakenly believed Ryou was some sort of rock star for his lack of a last name and tendency to sing covers of Muggle rock songs to Sophia when he didn't think anyone else was around. Charlie had heard a group of girls in the hallway refer to the demon as 'cool'. "What will you do if you do find a cure?" he asked.

Ryou shrugged. "Depends on what it is. I already know of one. I just don't feel like giving Izuna the satisfaction of knowing she holds that power over me. I'll find a cure, or I'll continue to live with it."

Charlie understood then just why the curse bothered Ryou so much. Changing gender had nothing to do with it. It was all about the idea that someone else held power and control over him. Ryou liked to be in control of himself, which was why he was reluctant to ask for help a lot of the time. But while Ryou wanted to be in control of himself, he was uncomfortable with the idea of controlling others. He'd made it clear to Charlie on a number of occasions that he wasn't going to help him figure out what he wanted, nor was he going to initiate anything.

"I suppose you might be right about that," Charlie said, finishing his Butterbeer. "Whatever cure you might find has to be on your terms or you won't take it. Although… My brother Bill--"

"Tried it," Ryou interrupted. "He said the curse on me has so many complex layers to it that one mistake in attempting to break it could just make it worse. He said he could only deal with the magical portion of it, but not the demonic aspects of it. Vallum knew what he was doing when he designed it." He glared over to where Vallum was just leaving from his seat at the bar.

Charlie shrugged. "Maybe they should compare notes." He looked down at Sophia and scrunched his nose at the foul stench emitting from her nappy. "You just had to do that, didn't you?" She smiled up at him in response, and he sighed. "Let's get you changed, then."

--- --- ---

"Remind me again why I gave Jessica and Chloe detention at the same time?" Charlie asked as he returned to his quarters for the night. He'd just come back from overseeing a detention where the girls had to clean the bathroom they'd set on fire and flooded.

"You're a closet masochist," Ryou said, not looking up while he fed Sophia.

Charlie rolled his eyes and sat down next to Ryou on the bed. "How's she doing?"

"Tired," Ryou replied. "She was waiting up for you. Then she got hungry."

Charlie chuckled and took her from Ryou. "Is that so?" Sophia smiled as he held her. "I wonder whether we'll still be teaching here when she's old enough to be a student."

"It was your idea to teach here," Ryou said as he stood up and walked over to the chest of drawers where he kept his clothes. He set the bottle on top of it and pulled open one of the drawers. "They start teaching the midgets at eleven, right? It's not that long from now. Less time than I've been in the human realm."

Charlie smiled ruefully. "I know. But I was thinking of maybe taking a year off once she's a student to really take a tour of the demon plane or something."

Ryou sighed heavily as he pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms. "First, you're not a bloody tourist. If you want to go on vacation, go to some place like Los Angeles. I've heard there's plenty of weirdoes there. With all the gang's there, the violence should be a close approximation, too. Second, what possible reason do you have to want to _willingly _go back to that hellhole?"

"Curiosity," Charlie said, rocking Sophia in his arms as she started to doze off. "I didn't get the chance to see much, and I am curious why you hate the place so much. That, and it should give Shin a bit of time to research a cure for you, right?"

Ryou was silent for a few moments as he took off his shirt. "To a demon, eleven years would be like a week is to humans. Shin's got other things to do. She probably won't come up with any sort of breakthrough during your lifetime."

"It's all the same, though," Charlie said, taking Sophia to her crib in the other room and gently setting her down inside it. He closed the door behind him as he walked back into their bedchamber. "Death isn't the end. Yes, it's sad when a person dies, but that doesn't mean you'll never see them again. Sometimes people move on to the afterlife, and sometimes they choose to stay behind as ghosts or guides or whatever. I think that if I died tomorrow, I'd probably choose to stay behind as a guide. The Underworld's horribly understaffed, and someone needs to guide lost spirits to their proper place. I know I wouldn't get to see those I've lost and those I will lose in the afterlife, but just knowing they'd be happy would be enough, I think."

Ryou shot him a suspicious look. "You still have that elixir, don't you?"

Charlie nodded. "I haven't decided on it yet."

Ryou rubbed his temples. "I don't know just how different it is for demons, but I know death is different for us. I don't think we go to the same places humans do, and we don't get the same choices. If you go that route, just keep that in mind."

"I would lose my memories if I became a guide," Charlie said pensively. "The only thing waiting for me after that would be oblivion. I don't plan on dying for a while, and the elixir can be taken at any time, right?"

Ryou sighed and nodded. "Pretty much. Your life force has to be strong, so it won't work if you're minutes from death or anything like that. Even if you'd had the foresight to offer it then, once Janice was in the hospital it was too late for her. Her life force was too weak."

"I'd wondered about that," Charlie said quietly. "I wonder what she thinks about everything that's happened. If somehow we're betraying her…"

"We're not," Ryou said simply. "People can't help how they feel. You can't force something that's just not there. In the end, you couldn't force yourself to fall in love with her, and she couldn't force herself to fall in love with you. That doesn't mean you didn't love one another, but it wasn't the kind of love that would make either of you happy with one another."

"But she was in love with you," Charlie said. "You told me that she would have taken the elixir if you'd promised to be with her."

"I wasn't in love with her," Ryou replied, changing into his pajama bottoms. "Some things are impossible to get past. She might have been in love with me, but she still saw me as two different people. She loved me as a man, but viewed my female form as a friend. I don't think she was even aware of it."

"Is that why you came up with the whole excuse of you outliving her?" Charlie asked, tilting his head.

Ryou chuckled. "It's a valid reason why demons and humans shouldn't get involved with one another. It can be worked around, but… I didn't need to tell her that. I simply told her I didn't feel the same way about her. But she knew what she wanted. I thought that by jerking you around by coming up with excuses would help you figure out what you wanted."

Charlie frowned. "Thanks. Really."

"Worked, though," Ryou said, tossing his dirty clothes across the room as he walked back to the bed and sat cross-legged on it. "Humans don't live long enough to waste their time agonizing over unimportant things like their love lives. It's selfish and not going to matter one bit when you're dead."

Charlie just looked at him for a few moments before walking over to sit next to him on the bed. "I still want to think about whether or not to take the elixir. I've done a lot of impulsive things in my life, and I can't let that be one of them. I need to know it's for the right reasons."

"So you're actually entertaining the idea," Ryou commented, quirking an eyebrow. "At least you're trying to give it some thought."

"It won't be for you," Charlie said. "There's no way of knowing what the future has in store. Right now, I know I want to be with you. I really can't envision my life without you in it. Whether what we have now is something that will last forever is something I can't say. But I want to make sure that I don't want to become a demon just for that chance to find out."

Ryou was silent for a long time. "You already have that chance," he said slowly. "No excuses, no lines. You don't need to become a demon for that."

"I know," Charlie said. "That's why I want to make certain. I don't want to get ahead of myself. That's why I think if I were able to go to the demon plane and learn just what it means to be a demon… I think I'd be able to decide for myself if that was what I wanted. Not because of any non-promises of some vague future, but because I _want _to."

Ryou scoffed. "You never could make up your mind," he muttered. "Sometimes I think you just wanted to get me into your bed."

"Technically, it was your bed," Charlie said flatly. "And what do you expect? I'm not going to do something so drastic and permanent just for the sake of someone who admits to jerking me around so I could figure out what I want. I think you're the one who doesn't know what you want."

Ryou frowned. "I know what I want. A life where I'm free to do whatever the hell I want."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, there's this thing called the real world. Maybe you've heard about it."

Ryou glared at him briefly. "Sarcasm doesn't suit you." He sighed. "You understand me. You accept me. I've grown fond of you, although don't expect me to suddenly declare all these warm and fuzzy feelings. Not my style."

Charlie stared at him for a few moments before chuckling and flicking his wand to extinguish the lights. He leaned forward to kiss Ryou, who pulled him down on the bed with him. He supposed he couldn't ask for more from the emotionally stunted demon at that point of time. There were still a number of things they both needed to figure out, and the future might still be uncertain, but they could worry about it tomorrow.


	39. Bonus Story 1: Strings Attached

**Strings Attached**

[_**January 2012**_]

Sometimes she really hated her job. It hadn't been so bad when she was guiding lost souls to the afterlife, but things just went downhill after her reassignment to the human realm. Not that she minded living amongst humans, as they were an interesting lot. And receiving use of a physical body definitely had its perks. Without it, she might never know the delights of the tad phai noodles of Madame Pho's, the Thai restaurant down the street. Say what her charges liked, she thought the Golden Dragon was overrated. They didn't even serve authentic Chinese food, but a westernized version. It was no different that the Japanese restaurants that served teriyaki, sushi, and little else.

That was beside the point, though. The point was that Karin really hated her job sometimes.

"I'm sorry, but we don't have the resources to send someone to locate your dog," she said to the man on the other end of the phone, who wanted someone to find his missing dog, which he was convinced were abducted by aliens. Ever since her boss had opened the Tantei Detective Agency to serve as a front for the Underworld's operations in London, a number of people have called in for various inane things that the Underworld didn't deal with. Not to mention the innumerable amount of weirdoes.

"I thought you specialized in unusual cases," the man insisted on the other end. "What's more unusual than the aliens coming back to take my dog, like they took my wife three years ago? Why, back in '92 they took me aboard their ship and gave me an anal probe. And let me tell you that those probe things hurt. Why--"

Karin tuned the man out as he started on a long-winded tale of how he was abducted by aliens. She really could care less about the man's delusional fantasies about alien abduction.

The man was still droning on when her attention was drawn to the door opening, and one of the red-haired men of the Weasley family standing in the doorway. Over the years she'd become quite familiar with everyone in the family; some more so than others. Percy was one of the brothers she was least familiar with, although recent events had brought him to her notice.

She smiled a greeting at him before making her apologies to the man on the phone on why they could not send someone to navigate the spacecraft he'd constructed to chase after the aliens. Before the man could catch his breath and continue his story, she hung up the phone and glanced up to Percy. "Something on your mind?"

"I need to learn to fight," Percy said, slowly walking into her office. "After what happened Christmas Eve…" He took in a deep breath. "I was useless. Maybe if I'd done something more--"

"It wasn't your fault," Karin interrupted. "You came for help, and it turned out to be a trap."

"If I could fight, those demons never would have gone after me in the first place," Percy said, glaring at the ground as he stood halfway between the door and her desk.

Karin stood up and walked over to him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and tried to force eye contact. "Listen to me. It was not your fault. Those demons were ultimately after George, and would have gone after you regardless of whether you could fight or not. You came for help once you realized a demon was following you, and came once more when she started making threats."

"I'm an easy target," Percy protested. "You said it yourself. I don't know how to fight, and all my other brothers and sister do. That's the only reason why they went after _me _and not someone else."

Karin sighed. "Fine. I'll teach you, but don't expect it to help you much." She removed her hands from his shoulders and turned to walk back to her desk. "Something tells me that's not the only reason you came here, is it?"

"They took Paige, didn't they?" Percy asked, following her to sit down in one of the chairs by her desk. "Fred told me. Maybe if I'd let myself get captured--"

"Don't think like that," Karin interrupted. She opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out a bottle of tequila that she'd stashed there for one of those nights when she really needed a drink. She had a feeling that this was going to be one of those nights. "Ryou and Charlie will bring her back. Drink?"

Percy nodded and took his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It should have been me, though."

Karin pulled out a couple of glasses from the drawer and poured their drinks. "I can't claim to know what exactly it is those demons are after, except for what clues they've left us. The note they left making it clear George needed to go to the demon plane to get her back. The portal they opened to the demon plane was completely unsanctioned. We still haven't been able to figure out just how it was opened." She slid a glass of tequila over to Percy before downing half of hers in one shot. "Nobody wants to do any of the bloody work themselves, and they expect me to have all the damn answers."

"Sounds like half the Ministry," Percy said sardonically.

She nodded ruefully. "You're pretty high up there, aren't you?"

"I wasn't going to go back there after the war, but yes," he said, sipping at his own glass. "Minister Shacklebolt's a good man. He tries to improve things, but there was so much corruption left over from the previous regimes…"

"Rome wasn't built in one night," she said, knowing exactly what he meant. The Underworld had also gone through a change of regime in recent years, with the idealistic Lord Koenma taking control from his power-hungry father King Enma. It took a lot of work to undo a lot of the damage done by the former regime, and changes were still being made constantly. Some were for the better, while others were found not to work as well as hoped. Either way, the work was constant, and she often bore the brunt of her charges' displeasure because she was _there_. "Although some people might wish it were…"

He looked at her curiously for a few moments before downing more of his drink. "That's easy for you to say. You weren't involved in the war at all."

"I guided far too many souls to the Underworld," Karin said bluntly. "Young, old, innocent, not-so-innocent… I've been a guide longer than you've been alive." She downed the rest of her glass before pouring some more. She refilled Percy's glass, which was just about empty as well. "I might not have fought in your war, but that doesn't mean I wasn't involved."

He stared at her for a few moments before taking a long drink from his glass. "People don't seem to realize that just because the bad guy's gone, that doesn't mean everything will be 'happily ever after'."

"Our bosses have their work cut out for them, and bureaucrats like us get to deal with all the people wondering why changes aren't coming faster," Karin lamented, downing more tequila. She was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, warm and light-headed.

Percy nodded. "It's like everyone expects things to just get better overnight, and we're the ones they gripe at if things don't happen fast enough."

"I hear that," Karin agreed, pouring more tequila into her glass. "I get all these cases from my boss, and most of them are complete bull, but still need doing. My charges are a bunch of lazy sots that act all picky about what cases to take because they don't want to do anything at all." She downed a good half of her glass in one gulp.

"I think you mean 'sod'. A 'sot' is a drunk," Percy said, reaching over for the bottle to refill his glass. It was just out of his reach, so he stood up and walked around Karin's desk to pour himself a glass. "Why do you have tequila in your desk, anyway?"

"Gotta have something to help with the headache of dealing with your brothers," she replied, downing the rest of her glass. "I'm sure you probably use similar methods when dealing with your ex."

Percy snorted as he downed more of his drink. He was leaning against her desk, staying close to the bottle for more refills. "I'd rather not deal with her at all," he said honestly, his voice sounding slightly slurred. "She's got my visitation knocked down to one weekend a month because I 'don't have a job' and pay child support with funds from 'questionable origin'."

"Muggle court system?" Karin asked, refilling her glass. It wasn't really a question, although he nodded in reply. "I can get the paperwork drawn that states you work here. You won't actually be working here or anything, but the agency does exist as far as Muggles are concerned." He looked over to her and she shrugged, sipping her drink.

"Why?" Percy asked. "I mean, why would you go that far for me?"

It was completely against her better judgment, so Karin could only blame the alcohol coursing through her system when she held out a hand, letting a book appear in it. "Use this however you will," she said, opening the book. "I'd recommend hiring an actual private investigator to get proof, but if the courts knew what Audrey's been doing, they'd give custody to you in a heartbeat. She frequently snorts cocaine in front of them, and often leaves them in the car for hours on end when she meets with her drug dealer. She'll bring strange men home with her, focusing more on her own short-lived relationships than on her children. There was one time when she took them with her to a pub and stabbed some guy in front of them." At Percy's widened eyes, she tried to lock eyes with him. Unfortunately, her vision was too blurry and unfocused to manage. "Get proof. In spite of everything, your kids are surprisingly well adjusted. But they'd be better off with you."

"How do you know all that?" Percy asked her.

"Tool of the trade," Karin said as the book vanished. "When you have to guide someone's soul to the afterlife, you have to know just where you're going." She downed more of her drink. "Not supposed to tell anyone what's in a person's book, though, 'specially if it's not their own. Oops."

Percy slowly nodded. "It'll be our secret. Except I'll be getting proof on what she's doing." He downed the rest of his glass in one gulp. "If I'd had any idea…" He turned to her. "It's not possible to -- I don't know -- hire some demon to off her, is it?"

"Unreliable," Karin said. "If the authorities started poking their noses around, any demon willing to off someone for you would likely snitch you out. And I'd be obligated to have the demon arrested. Even if that bitch does deserve it."

"I'll drink to that," Percy said, holding up his glass. When he realized it was empty, he lowered it to refill it. "How is it that someone like her can have frequent but short-lived relationships, anyway? Who would want to be with someone like her?"

"You did, once," Karin said, sipping at her drink. "But guys always go for the kind of woman who's completely wrong for them."

Percy snorted. "They just seem to find me. First Penelope, then Audrey…"

"Please. It's the same story, over and over," Karin said, refilling her glass. "Guys go for the prettiest girl they can find. You must have found something attractive about them at first. Pretty faces with big boobs, I'll bet. You probably ignored girls not as attractive physically. Girls that wouldn't have turned out to be evil skanks."

Percy looked at her in contemplation for a few moments. "I heard about that thing with George…"

"I'm not talking about him!" Karin shouted, sloshing her drink around when she waved her hand for emphasis. "Yes, I was upset at first. But I acted like a skank, so don't have cause to complain that I was treated like a skank. I'm talking about whenever I go to a club or somewhere, it's always the big-boobed bimbo that goes home with some guy. Not that I'm looking for a one night stand or anything, but it would be nice to be hit on just once. I've actually got some rather good rejection lines ready. Not like I've ever had to use them. I'm not pretty enough for guys to hit on."

Percy shook his head and drained the rest of his glass. "What are you talking about? You _are _pretty, in a cute pixyish sort of way."

She sighed and finished off her own glass. She took the bottle from him after he'd refilled his glass. "Guys don't go for 'cute' girls. They go for sexy women. My life's pathetic. I haven't even been on a date for over a year." She refilled her glass and downed the contents in one long gulp.

"I haven't been on a date for three years," Percy said, downing a good portion of his glass. He glanced at her. "Your accent's all weird. Did you know that?"

Karin snorted, despite how unladylike that was. She was drunk and she knew it. "Whatever. Shall we finish this bottle in the name of our mutual patheticness?"

Percy smiled and raised his glass. "To being pathetic wankers with pathetic jobs and even more pathetic love lives!"

Karin raised her glass in a toast before they downed the contents of their glasses.

--- --- ---

When Karin woke up the next morning, she regretting drinking the previous night. Not only did it feel like tiny little construction workers were operating a jackhammer in her skull, but her stomach felt like it wanted to declare some sort of evacuation. She groaned and placed a hand across her closed eyes, trying to block out the sunlight trying to peek into the room through the slats of the window blinds.

It took a few moments, but as her brain started to function, it told her that her back was also stiff, she was cold, and feeling a dull ache in a place that she shouldn't be. A groan next to her caused her to lower her hand and open her eyes to see what caused the sound.

She normally wasn't one to use profanity, but when she realized that she was lying on the floor of her office next to Percy -- who was every bit as naked as she was -- she couldn't help but sum up the situation by muttering, "Oh, fuck."

Percy groaned again, slowly opening his eyes. He took one look at her before groaning again and fumbling around for something. "I am never drinking again," he muttered as he located his wand under her desk and aimed it at himself. "_Cura temetum_." There was a flash of yellow light before he aimed it at her, repeating the same incantation.

Karin's headache and queasy stomach immediately felt better, although weren't completely gone. She presumed he had cast some sort of anti-hangover spell, and sat up to begin her search for her clothes. Her back was still stiff from sleeping on the floor, and the spell did nothing to lessen the ache she felt between her legs. From the state of undress they'd found themselves in, it was quite evident to her that she'd slept with him the previous night.

"You, er… You don't think we did anything, do you?" Percy asked as he Summoned their clothes over, ending the search for clothes before it could really begin.

"I think it's pretty obvious we did," Karin said, holding up her knickers, which appeared to have been torn off her. She sighed and grabbed the jeans she'd been wearing the night before. She knew she could theoretically revert to her spirit form and emerge fully dressed in her standard kimono that made up the uniform of a spirit guide, but figured the experience would be rather disconcerting for him to witness, not to mention would do nothing to help the remnants of her headache. "Unless you have another explanation as to why we're naked and I feel sore between my legs."

Percy groaned as he pulled on his briefs. "Do you remember anything? I can't remember anything. I hope we at least used protection…"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Protection? From _what_?! I'm a spirit." She shook her head and pulled on her jeans. "I may have a physical body for _business _use in the human realm, but that doesn't mean all the plumbing works the same way a living person's does."

Percy made a noise of dismay as he continued to dress. "Wonderful. I just had sex with a corpse."

Karin frowned, sorely tempted to break out her oar and slam it over his head. She resisted the urge, opting to focus on getting dressed instead. "I am not a corpse!" she yelled.

Percy winced. "Sorry. I just meant… Well, I don't know what exactly I meant, but I didn't mean to offend you." After zipping his trousers, he grabbed his shirt. "Look, er… Karin…"

"This never happened," she said quickly. "I'm really not looking to start anything, and I don't think you are, either. Even if you were, I'm probably the worst person to get involved with. I mean, I'll be taking your soul to the afterlife someday, and I've got all sorts of unfair advantages like being able to find out anything I want to know about you in the book about your life, and--"

"Karin?" Percy interrupted. "You're babbling. But it's agreed that this never happened. Neither of us remember what happened, and it's not like we're strangers, so…" He let his voice trail off as he buttoned his shirt.

Karin pulled on her shirt, not looking at him. He was right that they weren't strangers. While he was probably one of the Weasleys that she'd seen the least of over the years, she worked with a few of his brothers, and letting things be awkward between them just wouldn't do. It would be highly unprofessional. No, it was better that they pretended nothing had happened, and continue to act as they'd always acted around one another. She refused to let herself fall into the same trap she'd fallen into many times before, where she'd allowed herself to become emotionally invested in some brief and meaningless fling.

"So we're agreed," she said. "Nothing happened."

Percy nodded and put on his robe over his outfit, looking awkwardly toward the door. "I, er, I have work today, so…"

"I have work, too," Karin said. "I should probably head to my flat to shower and change. I don't fancy going commando in the clothes I wore yesterday."

"I'll, er, I'll be heading out now," Percy said, getting up and slowly heading toward the door. He hesitated briefly by the door before leaving, as though he had wanted to say something. Karin was glad he didn't say anything, as she really didn't want to think about what had happened between them.

After the door closed behind him, she sighed and looked to the empty bottle of tequila on her desk. She cursed Koenma under her breath for her inability to hold her liquor. Even if it would be suspicious if she could down countless amounts of alcohol without getting drunk, it didn't make it any less… annoying.

--- --- ---

[_**April 2012**_]

She should have known something was up when Janice first asked her about the Glove of Transference. She was, of course, suspicious, and let those suspicions known.

"The Glove of Transference consumes a tremendous amount of spirit energy," she said to her young charge, who sat across from her, rubbing her swollen belly. "In your condition, using it is likely to kill you."

"I'm dying," Janice said bluntly. "I can pretend all I want that things are fine and I'm doing well, but every day feels like a chore just to get up in the morning." She took a deep breath. "Please, Karin. I have to do this. I see how difficult it is for Tracy. Not only does she have to deal with the more mundane aspects of motherhood, but the uncontrolled and accidental magic? Jack had to deal with painful boils all over his body for half a day before George came home from work. She should be able to reverse it on her own. The magic I have… It was hers to begin with. I can't die before I give it back to her. I owe her that much."

Karin was silent for a while. "And what happens if it uses so much energy that it kills your unborn? Your spirit energy level will spike dramatically at the moment the glove is used, and--"

"It won't," Janice said confidently. "I know my baby would survive. I… I spoke to that psychic demon that runs the Ogre's Lair, Merle… I had him do a number of readings. They all pointed to the same result: 'the child will survive where the mother will die'. I know I won't be able to hold out until the end of my pregnancy. Please."

Karin just watched her for a while, trying to gauge how serious she was. Janice could be extremely headstrong at times, although knew when to back down when the situation warranted it. From the look in her eyes, though, Janice was not going to back down on the matter.

Karin sighed heavily. "I'll speak with Lord Koenma. I won't make any promises."

That was, perhaps, the beginning of the end. Koenma had suspected that Janice would start asking about the glove, and had it ready to give to Karin when she approached him in the Underworld. Before she even opened her mouth to speak, he sighed heavily and handed it to her.

"Don't let your personal feelings interfere with the job you have to do," Koenma said, still holding on to the glove.

"She's going to die, isn't she?" Karin asked, even though she already knew the answer. While a person's book didn't necessarily list the exact date a person would die, it listed the year. She'd seen in Janice's book that she was scheduled to die sometime that year.

"It will be on her terms," Koenma replied, letting go of the glove.

Karin didn't want Janice to die, but knew that Koenma was right. It was her responsibility to guide Janice's spirit to the Underworld once she died, and she couldn't let her feelings interfere with her work. It was her job to ferry souls to the afterlife, even if she hadn't had to do as much ferrying over the past thirteen years.

She warned Janice again that using the glove would probably kill her, but the young Underworld detective was determined to use it. It came as little surprise when Janice ended up in St. Mungo's. It was even less of a surprise when Karin received the call to wait. She felt like some kind of eavesdropping voyeur, listening to the conversation between Charlie and Ryou whilst remaining invisible to both of them. They weren't really talking about anything _too _personal; just what Ryou would need to do as godfather to Sophia and the possibility of teaching at Hogwarts. Karin thought to herself that they made a good team and hoped that they would remain close without Janice's presence.

Karin glanced at the small hourglass she'd been given. The last grain of sand fell and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She wanted to reach out to Ryou, who left the room to deal with his grief in private. Charlie sat in a chair by Janice's bed, holding his crying daughter while trying to hold back his own dull tears.

"Did you know there's a red string that ties destined lovers together?"

Karin opened her eyes, looking at Janice, who was sitting cross-legged on top of herself. "Red string?" Karin repeated.

Janice shrugged. "Well, maybe not _destined_, because people can be with people they're not tied to, or not be with someone they are tied to. When they do find someone they're tied to, they usually refer to that person as 'The One' or their 'soul mate'. Those strings are invisible to most people. I can see them, though."

Karin made a face. "I don't believe that a person can be tied to anyone else in such a manner. There's no such thing as preordination."

"It's not really preordination," Janice continued. "It's more like potential. Any given individual is tied to several other people that could potentially be their 'true love'. That doesn't mean things will necessarily work out or be 'happily ever after', but they stand a better chance than they would with someone they're not connected to at all." She glanced over to Charlie and her daughter. "I was jealous, you know. Of them. I wanted Ryou to be happy, but at the same time, I was selfish. I guess I wanted it to be with me. Or at least not with him."

Karin tilted her head. "Charlie?"

Janice nodded. "They're tied together by that red string. I suppose if it was anyone else, I wouldn't have stood in the way. I loved him, you know. Ryou was my partner, and Charlie… Well, Charlie is damn good in bed." She smiled.

Karin rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'd rather not hear about it."

Janice chuckled. "Ryou's birthday is next week. I have a present for him in my flat. Make sure he gets it." She looked to Charlie and Sophia. "Charlie will become a demon, won't he?"

"He has free will," Karin said softly. "He might not."

Janice smiled slightly. "I think he will. Charlie isn't tied to too many people, which is part of why he has such trouble committing to anyone. If they ever get their acts together, I think he and Ryou will be relatively happy together. They might not realize it yet, but they'll want forever."

Karin didn't have anything to say to that, opting instead to float silently on her oar.

"I mean what I said before," Janice said. "Charlie _is _really good in bed. I wasn't about to give that up for no good reason. Seriously, I would recommend fucking him if you ever get the chance. I'd always thought that multiple orgasms were a myth--"

Karin's eye twitched. "Janice--"

"--And that man has got _stamina_. Before him, I'd never cared for the idea of going at it all night long and usually faked an orgasm just to hurry a guy along so he'd get off me already--"

"Janice--"

"--The thought never even crossed my mind when I was with Charlie. We went at it for a good ten hours once, and _damn_--"

"Janice!" Karin shouted, trying to interrupt Janice's reminiscing about Charlie Weasley's alleged sexual prowess. She really didn't want to hear it. "Are you quite ready yet?"

Janice nodded and floated over to Karin. "Seriously, though, you need to get laid. You're too uptight."

Karin frowned. "I am not 'uptight'."

"Sure you are," Janice replied as she climbed behind Karin on the oar. As they flew through the wall and began their ascent, she added, "Since Charlie probably won't be on the market much longer, you might want to think about one of his brothers. Some things are hereditary, and virility seems like it might be one of them. Many brothers with large families and satisfied wives, you know. Percy's single, and I think the two of you would get along spot on. You should try to get with him. I doubt that you'd be disappointed."

Karin chose to ignore her as she continued to fly them to the Underworld. While she hadn't remembered anything at the time, since the night she'd slept with Percy she would have an occasional flash of memory, like how she'd drunkenly given him a lap dance. He never did go back to her for training in how to fight, although she hadn't really expected him to approach her after what had happened.

It wasn't long before they were standing before Koenma, who had requested to speak with Janice personally before her fate was determined. Karin had been confused by that at first, but seeing him flanked by her fellow ferry girl Felicia and Captain Akai of the Spirit Defense Squad made her realize that Janice's fate wouldn't be of the standard 'heaven, hell, or reincarnation'.

Karin bowed before Koenma and handed him the book of Janice Lynn Newton. It was rare (but not unheard of) for someone to choose to work for the Underworld. Most recruits were those given the opportunity if placement proved difficult, although Karin knew that Janice's placement should be easy.

She wished that she could stick around to hear how the interview went, but bringing Janice before Koenma marked the end of her job, and the former Underworld detective was no longer her charge once delivered. Whatever happened, she would hear about it through the grapevine eventually. She just hoped that Janice knew what she was getting into.

Training to become a spirit guide or soldier of the Spirit Defense Squad took an indeterminate amount of time. It varied depending on how long it took one to learn their new job duties and regulations, and how long it took one to forget their former life. Even if a recruit had mastered everything there was to know of their new station, it was only when they possessed no memory of their life that their training was complete. Even though she had undergone it herself, Karin couldn't remember exactly how the process worked.

Dismissed, Karin walked through the corridors of the palace to head back to the human realm. She dreaded going back there, as she knew she would be facing several accusations of having known what was going to happen. Grief was a powerful force that defied rationality, and no two people experienced it in quite the same way.

She unplugged the office phone, knowing that it would still receive calls originating from the Underworld and nowhere else. She'd locked the office door behind her, knowing it wouldn't deter a wizard or witch who really wanted inside. She was glad that she had made the trip to the liquor store last week, as it was a good night to forget.

--- --- ---

She'd attended funerals before, although usually unseen by other attendants. She tried to stay near the back at Janice's, knowing that it would be tactless for her not to be seen there, but at the same time not wanting anyone to see her there. She couldn't deal with it. As soon as it was over, she barricaded herself in her office once more, hoping that nobody would bother her.

Knowing her former charge was safe and (hopefully) happy didn't help relieve the dull ache in her heart. If anything, it made it worse. She might not always have seen eye-to-eye with Janice, but to willingly leave behind a daughter and other loved ones to pick up the pieces while she continued on in the Underworld…

Karin wondered if she might have done something similar once upon a time. The age a spirit appeared to be indicated very little. She might have died young, or perhaps lived a long life. In the end, she supposed it didn't really matter, as anyone who might have known her in life was surely long gone. She'd worked for the Underworld for almost a century, and had been in training for half a century before then.

She didn't even look up as the door opened. She'd been expecting it to, really, since the night Janice died. She supposed it didn't matter who wanted to accuse her of what. She already knew that she should -- and could -- have done more to protect her former charge. The deplorable assignment on her desk only served to mock her further. It was something that she knew Janice would have accepted without hesitation (or questions asked), but none of her other charges would touch. Not like she planned to ask any of them.

"You shouldn't be alone," Percy said softly as he closed the door behind him and approached her desk.

"I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm already dead," Karin muttered, skimming the contents of the folder in front of her. She'd have to tell Koenma there was simply nobody who could do it. Even if there was some remote chance that one of her charges might agree to such a case, she wouldn't want to send them to Bakhan. She personally thought that the Underworld should never have involved themselves there to begin with, and the problems that resulted were something that should be dealt with internally. It should not be up to the human realm's Underworld detective to deal with the screw-up of some SDS soldiers in the demon plane.

Percy sat down in a chair across her desk. "I didn't mean it quite like that," he said. He glanced down at the open folder. "Working?"

"Naturally," she said. She sighed as another folder appeared in her 'in' tray. "Why are you here? Did you get the short straw?"

"I wanted to thank you," he replied. "For suggesting I hire a private investigator. They got the proof."

Karin nodded curtly, but still refused to look at him. She was no soldier, but maybe she could do something to placate the angry villagers…

"Audrey has the girls this week, but it's a supervised visit," Percy said. "She's only allowed one week a month for now, and someone from the court supervises."

"Congratulations," she said dully, frowning at some of the nastier details in the assignment. How could Koenma honestly believe that any of the detectives would take a case like this when the Underworld was so obviously at fault?

"Throwing yourself in your work won't help," Percy said simply, staring at her. "I've tried that before. It just makes it worse."

She glared up at him. "And what would you know?"

He shrugged. "You never looked at the book detailing my life, did you? After Penelope…" He took in a deep breath. "I was estranged from my family at the time. _Alone_. After she did what she did, I threw myself in my work. I tried to forget."

"That was different," Karin said. "You weren't responsible for anyone's death there."

"Except I was," he said quietly. "Maybe not _then_, but about a year and a half after that, I was set to the task of drafting one of the most appalling legislatures the Ministry had ever seen. The idea wasn't mine; I was just in charge of the _wording _that was ultimately passed into law. Do you know how difficult it is to deliberately make sure there are loopholes you pray those affected are intelligent enough to exploit? Especially while keeping those same loopholes out of your bosses' notice?"

Karin tilted her head. "What are you talking about?"

"The first law Kingsley Shacklebolt overturned when he became Minister," Percy said. "The Muggleborn Registry. Someone had to write the legalese of that atrocity. As the Minister's Junior Assistant, that unpleasantly fell to me. How many souls did you guide because of that?"

Karin was silent for a few moments before sighing heavily. "If you hadn't written it, someone else would have. And for the record, I ferried more souls of dissidents in the Ministry than I had of those affected by such legislature. If you'd refused, you could have been one of those souls I ferried."

"People died because of me," Percy stated.

"Lives were saved because of you," Karin countered. "You can't know just how many people took advantage of those loopholes. Besides, you should know perfectly well that most of the Muggleborns just had their wands confiscated and were sent to Azkaban. Very few of them were actually killed."

"That doesn't make it any better," Percy said.

Karin frowned. "Do you know what I have to do? I get to find someone willing to go to the demon plane to help soldiers stationed in a town there subdue an insurgence."

Percy made a face. "I'll admit the timing's bad, but didn't Fred and George do something like that before? Why don't you ask them?"

She grimaced. "Do you know why there's an insurgence?" Percy shook his head, so she continued, "Some of the Underworld's soldiers stationed there decided they would take it upon themselves to 'teach' one of their more vocal opponents a lesson by breaking into her house. They then proceeded to brutally gang rape her before dragging her to the town square where they left her for dead. The townspeople were understandably upset. The Underworld wants to send someone there to help the soldiers. Would you help them?"

Percy had a horrified expression on his face. "Of course not! Why is the Underworld even thinking of _protecting _the soldiers?!"

"The ones responsible have already been dealt with," Karin said curtly, closing the folder. "'Vigilante justice'. It's the rest of the soldiers stationed there that _weren't _involved that need backup to help them maintain their occupancy there."

"Why does the Underworld need to be there at all?" Percy asked.

Karin shrugged. "I wonder the same thing, but it's not my place to ask." She sighed and slid the folder to one side of her desk to deal with later. "You didn't really answer my question. What are you doing here? I doubt that it was just to thank me."

"You were going to teach me to fight," he replied. "And I thought you could use the company. I don't know how close you were, but… Before she started Hogwarts, I remember how she used to ask all of us to tell her everything we knew about magic. She wanted to know it all."

She watched him for a few moments. She remembered that Janice had been 'adopted' by the Weasley family when she was younger, treated as though she were one of their own. Karin didn't know the extent of the various relationships Janice had with them, except for her being viewed as a younger sister to Fred and especially George, and the twisted relationship she'd had with Charlie. Karin simply did not associate with the others enough to know how deep the bond ran. "You miss her, too," Karin finally said softly.

Percy nodded. "It isn't fair. I saw Charlie and Ryou standing there with Sophia and it occurred to me that Janice will never get the chance to hold her child. She'll never have the chance to read her bedtime stories, or teach her how to bake cookies or play Quidditch if that's what she prefers, or any of that. And it isn't fair."

Karin stood up and walked around her desk to him. It didn't sound like he was accusing her of anything. He was just like her: another person in pain. They might not have been as close to Janice as some of the others were, but that didn't mean they didn't feel her loss. She awkwardly placed her arms around him, letting the dam of her grief burst open as he pulled her closer to him.

--- --- ---

Karin didn't want to move from where she laid so comfortably in bed, primarily because she was so comfortable. She knew she couldn't stay in bed all day, however, if only because it wasn't her bed.

"This seems like it's becoming a regular occurrence," Percy mused out loud as he laid next to her, staring up at the ceiling.

After crying on his shoulder for at least a good half hour, Karin went to Percy's flat with him for coffee, tea, and reminiscing in a more 'neutral but private' territory. Neither of them drank anything stronger than coffee (her) or tea (him), so they couldn't claim to be under the influence of any kind of alcohol when they found their way to his bed, discarding their clothes and finding solace in one another by merging their bodies together for a night of meaningless grief-induced sex.

"Regular would indicate some sort of frequency," Karin replied. "Twice is hardly frequent, and we were drunk the first time."

"Fair enough," Percy said. He glanced to her. "Are we going to pretend that this never happened?"

Karin was silent for a while, thinking. The first time was easy to forget. She couldn't recall much beyond getting completely inebriated with him, and the occasional disjointed memory of kissing him or feeling him inside her. Last night wasn't so easy to forget. She could vividly recall every caress and movement as their bodies intertwined. It was nothing earth shattering, but something she had needed at the time. "You can, if you want," she said slowly. "I don't want to. That's not to say things will get weird, because we should both be mature enough to prevent any potential awkwardness. But I needed that release, and I don't want to pretend it never happened." She neglected to mention how Janice had told her that she needed to 'get laid', recommending Percy as someone that she should sleep with. He didn't need to know that.

Percy looked back to the ceiling. "So if you're not a corpse, and you're not quite human, what are you?"

"I defy conventional classification," Karin replied. "I'm a spirit. My body is a puppet, I guess you could say. Since it's for business use, it was only constructed with basic imitations of human biology to negate suspicion that I might not be. While in the human realm, I age like humans do. I'm able to get aroused and have sex in case I need to go undercover and sleep with a suspect. I don't have to worry about things like pregnancy, diseases, or menstruating, because there's simply no reason to. If I had to get pregnant for some assignment, my body's mechanics would be adjusted accordingly, but that would be a conscious decision. That's why I told you not to worry about protection. You can't get me pregnant, and I cannot carry or transmit any kinds of diseases."

Percy glanced to her briefly before sitting up and Summoning their clothes over. "I'd rather not pretend, either. What would you like for breakfast?"

She could have pointed out that everything tasted the same to her, but figured that might be a bit rude. "Anything's fine," she said as they began to get dressed.

--- --- ---

[_**June 2012**_]

Karin tapped her pen against the papers in front of her. She truthfully didn't think there needed to be a new Underworld detective, but Koenma seemed to think there needed to be one so had profiles of various candidates sent to her. As the liaison between the Underworld and human realm, it was her job to choose Janice's successor (since Janice had not done so herself).

It was tactless timing, really. Whether Koenma realized it or not, the profiles had been delivered on what would have been Janice's twenty-fifth birthday. Karin wanted to barricade herself in her office and do very little, but needed to start narrowing down the dozens of candidates.

She didn't look up as the door opened. She was used to it, really. Percy had been coming by the office after work for the past couple of months to learn how to use his spirit energy and fight. He didn't plan to fight, but wanted to learn the basics of self-defense.

"Oh, this one takes the law too seriously," Karin said, placing one of the profiles into the 'reject' pile.

"What's wrong with that?" Percy asked as he sat down across from her.

"Nothing, if you're an average law-abiding citizen," Karin said. "Dangerous for an Underworld detective, though. There was one detective who held very rigid ideals of justice… Well, you don't need to hear about what happened. In any case, the best detectives have a certain element of unpredictability and disregard for rules."

"Like Fred and George," Percy said.

Karin nodded. "Technically, only Fred was an Underworld detective. George just tagged along." She sighed and pushed the profiles away, looking up at him. "You're early. You're usually not here until sometime after five."

Percy shrugged. "It's Saturday. I don't have work today."

Karin tilted her head. "You don't have your kids this weekend? I thought you had them almost all the time now."

"They wanted to visit with Fred's kids. Jessica and Kyle are back from Hogwarts, and Molly wanted Jessica to teach her to play Quidditch. Lucy wants Hermione to teach her to drive, but as she's only five years old, I'm afraid she'll have to settle for playing 'demolition derby' with Brandon and his toy trucks," he explained.

Karin smiled slightly. "They're doing all right, then?"

He nodded. "As well as can be expected. Things are stable now, which helps." He paused briefly before asking, "Why don't you go to any of the kids' birthday parties?"

"It would be rude to crash a party where one isn't welcome," she said.

Percy looked at her curiously. "What makes you think you wouldn't be welcome?"

Karin smiled, although the smile didn't reach her eyes. "I _am _a spirit of death, you know. I currently sort through cases of demonic activity in the human realm, delegating the important ones to people who could very easily die in the process. Oh, and when I'm not doing that, I'm ferrying souls to the afterlife. Just the kind of person you want at a child's birthday party."

"Your job isn't who you are," Percy said. He glanced at the profiles on her desk briefly. "You're trying to determine who Janice's replacement will be? I thought Charlie was doing that."

She waved him off. "Charlie was substituting, and he's not doing that anymore. Old news." She leaned back in her seat. "Are you here for more training?"

Percy's gaze momentarily flickered to the calendar on the wall behind Karin. "June twenty-third," he said. "Janice's birthday."

Karin quirked an eyebrow. "How did you know that? Charlie didn't even know when her birthday was, and he was sleeping with her for over a year."

"Charlie can be an idiot sometimes," Percy said. "We used to hold birthday parties for her at the Burrow when she was a teenager. I remember bailing her and Ron out of jail the day after her seventeenth birthday. He'd given her a case of Firewhisky, and… Let's just say the memories of a lot of police officers had to be modified that night. They had to call the riot squad and everything." He paused. "That was only eight years ago."

"A quarter of a century isn't that long, is it?" Karin mused out loud. "A blink of the eye, really."

Percy stood up, walking over to her. He bent down and awkwardly embraced her. "It's all right to grieve. You don't need to pretend everything's fine."

She leaned forward to hug him back, closing her eyes. She refused to cry. She knew that Janice wasn't really gone, but the feeling of failure just kept persisting. "It's my fault," she whispered. "I gave her the glove… I _knew_."

"There was nothing you could have done," Percy whispered into her ear, stroking her hair. "Even if you knew, it was her choice."

That was exactly what she'd told Charlie when he inevitably asked her about the situation in late April, when she'd called him and Ryou into her office to deal with a todea demon that had taken up residence and laid eggs in the walls.

"I blamed myself for Fred's death," Percy said quietly. "I know he was brought back to life, but it was still my fault. If I hadn't distracted him… If I hadn't acted like such a prat, choosing my career over my family…"

Karin pulled back from him slightly to face him. "You couldn't have known."

"We were in the middle of a war," he continued. "Maybe I couldn't have known what would happen, but I should have known better. I have a lot of regrets for what happened back then, but I know that I can't keep blaming myself. Things more or less turned out fine for everyone, but they might not have. As a 'spirit of death', can you really say that Janice is worse off where she is?"

"She'll forget," Karin replied without thinking. Her eyes widened as she realized what she said. It was strictly against the rules to talk about a person's final resting place. And she'd already broken so many rules already…

Karin pulled back abruptly, her body stiff and her face ashen. "Forget you heard that. And it's different."

"She was dying," he said. "Nobody blames you." When Karin snorted and rolled her eyes, he smiled slightly. "Well, nobody _important_."

Karin contemplated him for a few moments as he straightened up and offered her a hand. "What's this for?"

"We should see how Sophia's doing," he said. "I know you haven't really visited her recently. It also might be a good idea to check on Charlie and make sure Ryou hasn't snapped and encased them all in ice."

"Ryou wouldn't do that," Karin replied, almost losing her balance at the sudden momentum as Percy pulled her up from her chair. He caught her in his arms before she could fall. She looked up at him, blushing slightly. "He… Er…" While they hadn't really spoken about what happened between them on the night of Janice's funeral, they hadn't let things become awkward between them, either. While she wouldn't quite say that she was feeling awkward now, she was far too aware of her proximity to the man she'd slept with twice. Part of her was hoping that he would bend down and kiss her, while another part of her was afraid he would do just that.

Percy gazed down at her for a few moments, his eyes showing the same uncertainty and awareness as hers. "I should probably go," he said softly.

"Probably," Karin replied quietly. She was still in his arms, although neither of them made any move to rectify that.

"I wanted to make sure," he said. "That things were fine," he added hastily.

"Never better," she said. "Weren't we going--"

Her words were cut off as their lips met. Not even thinking about it, she pressed herself further against him and deepened the kiss. Their tongues met, caressing one another as his hand ran along her backside. She'd occasionally felt drawn to him while teaching him how to fight, but had never let herself give in to those feelings. This wasn't necessarily about need, but _want_. She could tell from the way his growing erection pressed against her stomach that he wanted this too.

They broke their kiss when Percy's back thudded against the wall. "We shouldn't do this," he said as Karin began to kiss the side of his neck.

"Why?" she asked as she moved a hand along his chest.

"Because…" He gently pushed her away, much to her confusion. He took in a deep breath. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm not attracted to you, because I am. But I'd rather not start anything between us."

As much as she tried, Karin couldn't help the sting of his rejection from showing in her eyes as she took a couple of steps back. "But… _Why_?"

Percy sighed heavily. "You have to understand that my daughters are more important to me than anything else. After everything they've been put through, they need a stable environment. Whatever this is we have… It's not stable."

She frowned. "How am I not stable?" she asked, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. It was the same story as usual. She would make the mistake of getting physical with some guy, and then he would turn around and state he didn't want anything more. One would think that after what had happened with his brother George that she would know better, but the same thing repeated itself over the past fourteen years.

Percy took a deep breath and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'm not saying that you personally are unstable, just that anything between us would be unstable. As much as I like you, I have too much respect for you to continue having one night stands with you."

"Then why did you come here?" Karin demanded.

He shook his head. "I don't know. I was worried about you, I guess. I certainly didn't come here for a midday shag." He took a step toward her, but froze as she flinched from him. "You were right about how we shouldn't try to start anything between us. It wouldn't be fair for either of us to start something that could only be temporary."

"You don't want a relationship," Karin said flatly. "Got it."

Percy sighed. "What happens if there isn't an Underworld detective? Would you remain here in the human realm, or would you go back to the Underworld to do whatever it is you do there?"

"I'd go back to ferry souls," she replied, moving back to her desk. "Why?"

"Because that's my point!" Percy exclaimed. When Karin turned around to face him, he continued, "Any relationship between us would be unstable. Not only do we both have serious issues and baggage that would be difficult to work past, but you could be reassigned at any point of time. If it were just me then it wouldn't really matter. But it's not."

"You have to think about your daughters," Karin said. At Percy's nod, she sighed and sat down in her chair. "Of course they should come first, but--"

"And that's exactly why we can't start anything," Percy said patiently, Summoning over a nearby chair to sit on. "They look to me to set a good example. I can't go around having meaningless flings and one night stands, because then they'll think it's okay to do that. I don't want something like that anyway. But if we were to try to work on a relationship, it would only be temporary. You might be reassigned to the Underworld at any time, and that wouldn't be fair for any of us."

Karin nodded mutely as she looked down at the profiles on her desk. "Because if things did get serious, and then I was called to go back…"

"Exactly," Percy said. "It isn't the same as if you were relocated out of the country. You would be in a different world entirely."

"There's no specific rule regarding romantic entanglements with humans," Karin mused to herself. "That isn't to say there's no precedence, though. Years ago, an assistant like myself fell in love with her detective. After his appointment ended, she was given the chance to stay human and be with him in the human realm or to go back to resume her duties as a spirit guide."

Percy tilted his head. "That's possible? What did she decide?"

Karin shook her head. "This _is _the afterlife for spirits like myself. When you die, you'll go on to wherever. For me, there's nothing left after this. All I have to look forward to is oblivion." She chuckled wryly and began looking through the profiles. "It doesn't matter what she decided. We're not the same, and the situations are completely different."

Percy nodded and stood. "I think I'll ask one of my brothers for any further lessons on how to fight. I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right, and to see if you wanted to come with me to visit Charlie and Sophia."

Karin waved him off. "I'm fine. Just go. And do me a favor."

"What's that?" he asked.

"Don't come back."

Percy nodded only once before turning to the door and walking out, not saying another word.

--- --- ---

[_**December 2012**_]

Jude Clarke had worked out as an Underworld detective better than Karin had hoped he would. She had been a bit hesitant when Koenma chose him out of all the potential candidates, mainly because she felt that the time she spent going over each candidate's profile became meaningless. If Koenma had already made up his mind about Janice's successor, why have her look through the candidates to begin with?

Jude was an eighteen-year-old drifter with dreams of becoming lead singer to a punk band. He had dropped out of school and run away from home at fourteen, opting to take his chances on the streets rather than with an abusive stepfather and an ever-drunk mother. He supported himself by working as a day laborer, which kept him in good physical shape. Although he was a Muggle, that just made Karin's job easier when training him to use his spirit energy. Luckily, he was a quick learner, even if he was far from educated in the way of book smarts.

There was no partner assigned to him, which suited Jude just fine. He was highly self-reliant, preferring to work alone when possible. Karin could tell that it chafed him a bit to take orders from the Underworld, although he didn't complain. Since he was a child, he had always thought of himself as a bit different, seeing things others could not. Karin had discovered that he was one of the few candidates who possessed an actual sixth sense, much as George Weasley had once upon a time. Unlike George, however, Jude was not the reincarnation of a demon.

"--So then I showed that bloody wanker what for by slamming his ugly mug into the counter," Jude was saying as he regaled the tale of his most recent assignment to arrest a demon suspected of running a prostitution ring. At least, that was what his assignment was supposed to be about. "The barkeep wasn't too happy about that, but I tried reminding him that I was a paying customer, and that I wasn't going to take to that pillock trying to pull the bird I was chatting up."

Karin rubbed her temples. While Jude was good at getting the job done, de-briefings were an absolute pain, often containing far too many details of miscellaneous bar fights and too few details about his actual assignment. "What about the demon?"

"I'm getting to that," Jude said. "So anyway, I figured that the bird would've been scared off by that point. Most birds get scared off by the violence, you know? But this bird was so turned on that I barely had time to get her back to my room before she was all over me, begging for me to stick my cock in her. We're talking soaking to the point where she'd need new knickers, if she'd been wearing any. Just barely had time to close the door before she pulled down my pants and hiked her skirt up 'round her waist. Since she wanted it then and there, I started banging her there on the floor--"

"What about the demon?" Karin repeated through clenched teeth.

"I'm getting to it. Don't get your knickers in a twist," he said. "It was while I was pumping into her that I realized I was starting to feel a mite bit drained. Not the normal drain you'd feel after shooting your wad, but a way that wasn't natural. I don't have any excuses for why I didn't notice it before, but after I started to really pay attention to how this fine-looking bird looked and give her the scan, I could see that she had bloody red eyes."

"Her eyes were bloody?" Karin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jude shook his head. "No, just red. Same shade as her lipstick. I've probably still got some of her lipstick on my collar if you want to check the color."

"I'll take your word for it," Karin sighed, hoping he would get to the point soon.

Jude continued his story. "So I'm wondering why this bird's eyes are glowing when I realize there's an unearthly aura to her. I figure that this bird's some kind of demon and is draining my energy, so decide to just blow my wad into her then and get it over with. I'm not about to let some demon drain my energy _and _get off on it. Make no mistake, though. If I'd wanted to, she would have been screaming my name. Blasted neighbors are always complaining about the noise. You can ask them if you want."

Karin sighed again, feeling a migraine coming along. "So the woman was a demon?"

Jude nodded. "A bloody succubus, if you ask me."

Karin could have pointed out that succubi were actually a myth, although there were demons that had similar powers. She thought it best not to let him get any more sidetracked, though. "And then what?"

He shrugged. "So I slapped the cuffs on her. Can't let birds like that go around stealing a bloke's energy, can I? Found her business card on the floor, went to the address on it, and slapped the cuffs on the bloke running the place. Turned out it was the demon escort service you was wanting to bust. A couple of his more grateful employees decided to show their gratitude to me, which is why I'm only now getting in. At least those birds didn't try to steal my energy, although I pumped enough splooge in them to fill the Thames. Bloody insatiable, they were, but I've tired them both out for now. I won't be available tonight, by the way."

Karin was very grateful when someone softly knocked on the door, giving her an excuse to stand up and not have to hear the details of Jude's activities the night before. Walk-ins weren't too terribly uncommon at the Tantei Detective Agency, although most people called in advance. She was surprised when she opened the door to find a little girl. "Er, can I help you?" she asked, bending down to meet the girl at eye level. The girl looked vaguely familiar, although she was certain they'd never met before.

The girl glanced to Jude briefly with her big brown eyes before turning back to Karin. "Is that your boyfriend?" she asked, tilting her head and making one of her auburn pigtails bounce from the movement.

Karin blinked before shaking her head. "He works for me, but we're not involved like that." The little girl looked like she was no older than five or six years old, so did not need to hear exactly what Karin thought of Jude personally, or how she would sooner have an arm amputated rather than involve herself romantically (or sexually) with him.

Jude chuckled and stood up. "I was just heading out, anyway. Got a couple of lovely ladies waiting for another round of sausage stuffing." He laughed as Karin shot him a dirty look and left the office.

"Sausage stuffing?" the little girl repeated as she watched Jude walk away. "Does he work in a meat factory?"

"Part of the time," Karin replied, glad that the little girl gave her such an excellent excuse for Jude's crude remark. "So how can I help you? Are you lost?"

The girl shook her head again. "No, but my daddy is. I was hoping you could help him."

Karin nodded and stood up. "Come inside. I can make some hot cocoa if you'd like. I've got marshmallows."

"I don't care for marshmallows," the little girl said, following her inside the office. "But I will have some cocoa, please."

Karin smiled and walked over to a small table set up with cups, a coffee maker full of hot water, and plenty of instant drink powders for coffee, tea, cocoa, and apple cider. She poured some hot cocoa mix into a cup before adding water and stirring it together. "So your father's lost? Where was he when you last saw him?"

"He's not lost like that," the little girl said. "He's with my sister in the toy shop across the street. They're picking out Christmas presents for some of my cousins. They think I'm looking at the toy trucks."

"I see," Karin said, although she didn't really understand how the girl's father could be lost if she knew where he was. She handed the girl the mug of cocoa. "Careful, it's hot. And have a seat." She gestured to the small couch against the wall by the refreshment table. "Don't you think your father will be worried if he can't find you?"

The little girl nodded and sat down. "Yes. But it was important that I find the pretty lady first."

"The pretty lady?" Karin repeated, sitting down next to her on the couch.

The little girl nodded again and blew on her cocoa to cool it down. "Daddy's been acting all sad. I was afraid that he was sad that he was taking care of me and my sister now, but then he told me he was sad because of a pretty lady that he liked."

Karin quirked an eyebrow. "But why try to find her if she makes him sad?"

"Because he's sad without her," the little girl replied. "I never met the pretty lady, but daddy told me about her. He said she made him feel not so lonely, and how he wished that he hadn't lost his chance with her."

"What about your mum?" Karin asked.

The little girl shook her head. "Mummy and daddy aren't together. But that's okay. Sometimes it's better that way. They're both happier apart. Even if daddy is a bit sad for letting the pretty lady get away."

Karin paused in thought as she contemplated the little girl. While she knew that she'd never met the girl before, she still looked familiar. "So what happens if you find the 'pretty lady'? How would you even recognize her?"

The little girl smiled and sipped her cocoa. "Daddy told me what she looks like. He said she has eyes that shine like an amasi-- anaqui--" The girl frown. "Like a purple rock."

"An amethyst?" Karin offered helpfully. When the girl nodded excitedly, Karin tilted her head. Not too many people had eyes that could be compared to an amethyst, and while Karin never cared much for comparing eye color to gemstones, she knew that her purple eyes could be. It was just too suspicious… "What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't," the girl said. "But it's Lucy."

And that's when it fully clicked in Karin's mind just who the little girl was and why she looked familiar. Lucy Weasley was Percy's youngest daughter, and Karin had seen photographs of her when she'd been at his flat back in April. She hadn't recognized her at first because it had only been a brief glimpse, and she'd been preoccupied at the time. Still… "Did your father send you here?" Karin asked, trying to keep her voice neutral, although she was starting to seethe inside at the idea that Percy might have the _nerve _to send one of his children to tug at her heartstrings.

Lucy shook her head. "He doesn't know I'm here. He thinks I'm looking at toy trucks."

Karin stood up. "We should get you back to your father before he realizes you're missing."

Lucy stood up, looking up at her solemnly. "But I'm not missing," she insisted. "I know exactly where I am." She paused. "You're not mad, are you?"

Karin blinked and shook her head. She knelt down so they on the same level. "I'm not mad at you, no," she said, keeping her voice calm and patient. Even if Lucy was being truthful about Percy not knowing she was there, Karin still did not appreciate him telling his kids about her. Especially after he made it clear he didn't want anything to do with her.

"Is the pretty lady ever sad?" Lucy asked.

Karin paused briefly before answering, "I'm used to it. Happiness is only fleeting for someone like myself."

"But you weren't so sad when you were with my daddy, were you?"

"No," Karin replied honestly, straightening up. "I wasn't quite so sad."

Although she hadn't realized it at the time, she hadn't felt quite so alone when she was teaching Percy to defend himself. He understood where she was coming from, and had been willing to lend a sympathetic ear when she needed one. While they were both aware of their prior indiscretions, those same indiscretions had been brought about by their mutual need for physical comfort. In retrospect, Karin couldn't think of anyone else she connected with on quite the same level. Most people just ignored her when they weren't turning her into a scapegoat.

When they entered the toy store across the street, Karin could see that Percy was frantic with worry, darting down the aisles in search of his youngest daughter while calling her name. Molly, his eight-year old daughter, stood by a security guard who was trying to page Lucy over the store's announcement system.

Karin glanced down at Lucy. "You should let him know you're okay."

Lucy paused and shook her head. "Come with me," she said insistently.

Karin paused for a moment, but before she could say anything Percy had noticed them standing by the entrance. "Lucy!" he called, quickly moving over to them and wrapping his daughter in a relieved hug. "How many times have I told you not to go wandering off on your own? Where were you?"

"I was finding the pretty lady," Lucy said solemnly.

"If we miss the game because of you, I'm going to hide your Truckasaurus blanket and you'll never ever find it," Molly said as she walked over to join them.

Lucy frowned. "We're not going to the game just to see Uncle Ron's team lose again, because Truckasaurus is in town tonight and I want to see him spit fire on semi trucks!"

Before the girls could continue to argue on what they would be doing, Percy placed a hand on both their shoulders and shook his head. "We need to get our shopping done first, and then we'll discuss what we'll do." He looked up to Karin, who was just about to turn and leave. "You found her?"

Karin nodded as she stood there feeling rather awkward. "She came to my office. I'm guessing that someone told her where it was, because it didn't seem like a random exploration."

"Daddy said that's where the pretty lady worked," Lucy said.

Percy blushed before assuring the security guard that they had things under control. "That doesn't mean you can just go off on your own like that!" he chided. "You could have gotten lost or hurt!"

"I'm sorry, daddy," Lucy said. "But I found the pretty lady."

Percy sighed and looked to Karin. "I'm sorry if she inconvenienced you in any way."

"She was no bother," Karin dismissed. She wanted to add more, but felt that it was better not to cause a scene. She didn't trust herself not to start ranting now that she was facing him for the first time in six months. His rejection had hurt, and facing him just re-opened wounds that she thought had closed. "I'll leave you to your shopping now, since everything seems to be in order now."

Percy shifted from one foot to the other. "Karin…"

Molly tugged on his sleeve. "I need to go to the bathroom."

While Percy was distracted by his oldest daughter, Karin took the opportunity to make her escape and leave quickly. Knowing that he would inevitably try to follow -- as it had been evident he had more to say -- she made sure nobody was looking and held out a hand, summoning her oar and disappearing to her spirit form.

--- --- ---

Karin was not the least bit surprised when Percy came into her office one morning a few days later, timed so that his daughters would be in school. Although she wasn't surprised, she had half a mind to just disappear again. She'd just finished dealing with assigning Jude to a new case, and already felt a headache coming on. Hoping he would get the hint and leave her alone, she said, "We're closed."

Ignoring her, Percy walked over to her, pulling the chair normally across from her desk with him as he sat down next to her. "We need to talk."

Karin closed her eyes, mentally counting to ten to try to calm herself. She wasn't sure who started the whole counting thing, but it did nothing to help. "There's a reason I told you not to come back."

"Tell me you feel nothing," he said, reaching out for her hand. She jerked it away from the contact. "Tell me that what happened between us meant nothing to you -- that _I _meant nothing -- and I'll leave you alone."

It was obvious she wasn't going to get any work done. Sighing, she set her pen down on top of the open folder before looking to him. "Anything between us would be _unstable_. Just leave it at that." Even if it was cowardly, the temptation to just disappear was stronger than ever. She didn't want to face him and get hurt all over again. Holding out her hand furthest from him, she summoned her oar to revert to her spirit form.

"Esprit prire," Percy muttered, raising a hand slightly. The room filled with silvery threads of light that intertwined with one another like cobwebs. Karin felt an uncomfortable pressure push against her, and she was forced back to her physical form just as soon as she'd changed to her spirit form.

Karin glared at him. "What the hell?!"

"My spirit energy takes the form of wards," Percy said calmly. "It might not be as glamorous as Fred and George's Spirit Guns, but it gets the job done. Bill taught me. He had to back up a reputation he'd somehow gained among demons. I told you we needed to talk."

Karin continued to glare at him. He had _dared _to use wards against her? She was not some common, run of the mill demon. She was a representative of the Underworld, and deserved to be treated with enough respect not to have wards of any kind used against her. "What the hell do we need to talk about?!" she spat out, not caring about sounding civil in the least.

"Us," he replied. He reached for her hand again. Still angry, Karin brought her other hand around to slap him across the face.

"You have some nerve," she said scathingly. "I am not some cheap harlot that you can just play around with when it suits you! Yes, I felt something for you. But you made it perfectly clear that you were looking for nothing from me. Not a fling, not a relationship, nothing. I'm sure there are plenty of other guys out there who would be willing to play with my emotions if I cared to look for one. But since I don't, that's why I'm telling you to leave me alone."

"Are you quite done?" Percy asked, rubbing his cheek, which was turning red (much to Karin's satisfaction).

"Are you going to leave me alone?" Karin challenged, refusing to back down.

"No," he said. "I handled things wrong. We both did. I didn't want to continue having brief sexual entanglements with you because you deserve better than that, and so do I. I think that I dismissed the possibility of maybe pursuing something more substantial too soon, though."

Karin scoffed and folded her arms across her chest. "Something more substantial," she repeated flatly.

Percy sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "We're obviously attracted to one another, and have a lot in common. Yes, we have a lot of issues, but as my daughters pointed out to me, I shouldn't be afraid to let myself be happy."

"I could be reassigned to the Underworld at any point of time," Karin countered.

He nodded. "I'm aware of that. However, you told me the story of the Underworld detective and his assistant for a reason."

"I was talking to myself," Karin said. "And I told you then that it wasn't the same thing."

"I know that," Percy said. "I wouldn't ask you to do something like that anyway. But why bring it up at all when I wouldn't have known that was even a _possibility _if you'd said nothing?"

Karin had no answer to that, simply because she honestly didn't know why she'd mentioned it to begin with. Instead, she asked, "So why now? Why do you suddenly want to speak to me now when you were just fine not talking to me for months?"

"You told me to stay away from you," he replied. At the withering look she shot him, he sighed and added, "And Molly and Lucy said they refuse to eat their vegetables until I talk to you."

Karin snorted and shook her head. "Why did you tell them about me to begin with?"

"They asked," he said. "They noticed that I was acting different. I had to give some sort of explanation so they didn't feel as though they were at fault somehow."

"Except you still have to think about them," Karin pointed out. "Anything between us could only be temporary, remember?"

"But how temporary it is depends on us," he said. "Maybe things wouldn't work out between us, and maybe they would. I'm tired of living with regrets, though, and I don't want this to become another 'what might have been'."

"And what if I'm reassigned?" she asked.

He took in a deep breath. "I would hope you would at least let me know _before _you had to leave," he answered.

Karin stared at him in silence for a long while before sighing. "It doesn't bother you that I can find out every piece of information about you?"

"I can create wards against you," Percy said. "Some are quite painful. I'd rather not get into a power struggle with you, though."

She quirked an eyebrow. "You mentioned regrets about 'what might have been'. You know that I could find out if the child Penelope aborted years ago was yours or not."

"I'd rather not know," he said. "I dealt with that years ago."

Karin rubbed her temples. "You're an arse, you know that?"

Percy smiled slightly. "I'm fully aware that I can be a complete prat at times." He reached for her hand once again. This time, she didn't pull away. "We understand one another, and can connect to one another on a level that many others can't. We might not have started things in the ideal way, but I'm fairly certain that you have your fair share of regrets, and I don't want us to become yet another regret."

"I would think that you would be afraid of what I could do to you if things ended badly," she said. "When you die, I could guide you to some dank pit of hell instead of where you're meant to go."

"You wouldn't do that," Percy replied with confidence. "You're too good a person to do anything so permanent, no matter how vindictive a mood you were in."

Karin contemplated him for a few moments before sighing. "You're rather persistent, you know that?"

Percy smiled. "Stubbornness is a family trait."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "No kidding."

She still didn't appreciate how he'd toyed with her feelings the way he had. She knew it would take a while before she could build any real level of trust in him, and that there was still a lot to work through if they were to have even a semblance of friendship, let alone a relationship. But as he leaned forward to kiss her, she decided that maybe it wasn't so bad if she let him. More importantly, she kissed him back.

--- --- ---

[_**September 1, 2018**_]

"Don't forget to send an owl to let us know that you made it there safely!" Percy called after Lucy, who was waving to him from the window of her compartment as the Hogwarts Express started to move, taking her to start her first year at Hogwarts. "And listen to your house prefects! They have authority for a reason!"

Karin chuckled and shook her head. "You know she can't hear you. She's too far away."

Percy nodded as the train disappeared from sight. "I know. I still can't believe that she's off to Hogwarts already. They grow up so fast."

"They really do, don't they?" Karin asked, rubbing a hand along her swollen belly where their unborn son was growing. She was due sometime in mid-November, just a month before their third anniversary as husband and wife.

The road that led to that point had been long and full of several obstacles. There were times in their relationship when one or the other got scared and tried to end things. They always managed to work things out and patch things up, but things had been rather rocky. At one point, Karin had been faced with the summons to return to the Underworld to assist in training a new spirit guide -- a task that could last for an indeterminate amount of time. Not wanting to give up her life in the human realm, she handed in her oar, resigning herself to whatever perils she might face as a human.

Percy smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. "I wonder what house she'll end up in?" he mused out loud, placing his hands over her pregnant stomach.

"Who knows?" Karin replied. "Ryou says it really doesn't matter because all the house system does is divide people."

Percy quirked an eyebrow. "He might be right. George's triplets were divided into different houses last year."

George and Tracy's triplet sons had indeed been split up into three of the four houses the year prior. Harry and Ginny's son Albus -- also in their year -- was Sorted into Gryffindor, while Adam became a Slytherin, Dylan a Hufflepuff, and Luke a Ravenclaw. The four boys remained close friends, helping their friends and classmates to unify by exemplifying the epitome of inter-house friendship. Unfortunately, that meant that no common room was safe from their pranks, as the boys shared their common room passwords with one another.

"So long as they don't lose the bond they share, things should be fine," Karin commented.

Percy smiled as they began to walk toward the platform exit. "Would you rather Side-Along or Floo back?"

Karin made a thoughtful face. "Both make me nauseous, so it's a bit of a toss up."

"I thought you were over the nausea," Percy said as he glanced to her.

"It decided to make a comeback," Karin replied. "I think our son's trying to tell us he's going to be a history buff when he gets older."

Percy laughed as they left the platform onto King's Cross proper. "He can be whatever he wants to be," he said. "Just so long as it makes him happy."

Karin smiled. Six years ago, she never would have pictured that she would give up her job with the Underworld to fall in love, get married, and have a child. She especially never would have imagined that it would be with Percy Weasley. Sometimes, though, things had a way of turning out how one least expected it to. Former abilities she had were lost, and new abilities seemed to be gained.

And unless she was mistaken, there were times when she would swear that she saw a red string tying her to him.


	40. Bonus Story 2: Bedtime Stories

**Author Note:** I hesitated to post this side story for quite some time. In my opinion, it didn't really add or explain anything, and I think it makes a few characters a bit less likable. That said, I'm posting it anyway. Unlike the previous installments of the story, this one does not just allude to sex, but goes into detail. It's actually my first attempt at writing a slash sex scene, and will most likely be my last. It also has just plain straight sex, as well as mentions of infidelity, incest, tattooing certain parts of the anatomy, and possibly a few other things I've forgotten. Each section is prefaced by the date the events are supposed to have taken place, as the story jumps around from past to present quite a bit. Of course, not all of the past events actually happened in the 'Underworld Detective' universe, as Ryou likes to BS quite a bit, which will become quite evident.

--- --- ---

**Bedtime Stories**

[_**December 31, 1998**_]

"You want me to give you away?" Ryou repeated, not sure whether to continue staring at the tuxedo handed to him in confusion or to look at Kuroi in disbelief.

Kuroi nodded as she sat down on his bed. Ryou hadn't been all that surprised when she had arrived at his flat, asking to speak to him. At first, he thought it was because she was having second thoughts about marrying that idiot, but then he was handed a tuxedo. "Since neither my father nor my stepfather are able to, and I'm not about to call my brother from his business in the demon plane, I thought it only fitting."

Ryou shot her an incredulous look. "I'm hardly a father figure to you, though." He glanced at the tuxedo as if it was a bomb that might go off at any minute. "You're seriously going to marry that idiot."

Kuroi smiled. "George is a good man. When I'm with him, I feel as though there really is a reason for me to stay human. I think I love him."

Ryou scoffed and set the tuxedo down on top of his dresser. He didn't care that it fell onto the floor. It was in some sort of plastic garment casing, so it wasn't like it would get dirty. "If you're marrying him, I should hope you love him."

"I'm still unsure on whether I love him for who he is now, or whether it's because I know he was once Yoru," Kuroi admitted.

"This again…" Ryou muttered with disgust. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. "For whatever odd reason, you accept his proposal, agree to let him knock you up, and you still aren't sure how you feel about him? Do you honestly view him as your potential life mate, or is he just a playmate to you?"

Kuroi chuckled and stood up, moving so that she was standing in front of him. "Are you jealous?"

"Of what?" he retorted. "He may be an idiot, but that makes it even worse. You shouldn't try to mold him into what you want him to be."

"That's why I'm following his lead," she replied. "But I'm wondering if you're jealous because we won't be able to do this anymore."

Ryou wanted to ask her what she was talking about, but that would be an incredibly stupid question to ask. As she straddled his lap and gently pushed him back on the bed, he knew exactly what she was talking about.

They'd never had sex, although that was simply because he didn't want to take things that far. The act of sexual intercourse was as physically close as two people could get, and that level of intimacy was something he wasn't about to give up lightly.

"You're getting married tomorrow," Ryou protested as Kuroi laid on top of him, kissing the side of his neck.

"But I'm not married yet," she murmured, deftly unbuttoning the top button of his jeans.

"You don't see anything wrong with this?" he asked as she followed up by unzipping his jeans. He knew that he could easily push her off, and if he followed any sort of conventional human morality he might have, but let her continue her ministrations. He knew there were certain thrills that he could provide that her soon-to-be-husband could not, and the excitement of doing something so forbidden and elicit was one of them. He closed his eyes as she pushed the fabric aside and pulled his cock out, stroking him to attention.

Kuroi slowly kissed a trail down his clothed torso. "I haven't made any vows yet," she said, darting her tongue out against the tip of his half-erect cock.

Ryou hissed and clenched the sheets as she slowly took him into her mouth, licking his shaft as she moved her mouth along his length, bringing him to a fully erect status. "You're pregnant with his child."

Kuroi didn't reply, opting to continue sucking on his cock, using her tongue in such a way that he felt almost painfully rock hard in a _really _good way. For a brief instant, he was almost envious of the idiot for getting more than just a taste of Kuroi's infamous sexual prowess. Had he been interested in casual sex, he might have pushed her off him and bent her over the bed so he could plunge into her. It would certainly be something interesting to say to the idiot when he was being particularly annoying. 'Did you know I fucked your wife the night before your wedding?' That would shut the idiot up quickly. But since he wasn't interested in having his first time be with an almost-married woman, he contented himself by placing a hand behind her bobbing head, guiding the pace as she took him in her mouth.

Kuroi was very talented at what she did. She'd had centuries of experience while living in the demon plane, engaging in practically any and every kind of activity one could think of. While her experience was far more limited once she reincarnated as a human, she still retained the skills and knowledge she'd developed prior.

Ryou moaned as she caressed his balls with one hand. He heard other blokes talking about how teeth were bad when getting head, but the way she lightly scraped his shaft with her teeth just felt so _good_. It really was a shame her talents would be wasted on one unappreciative idiot after tomorrow.

He knew there was no need to warn her before he came. Like so many times in the past, she would swallow his ejaculate as it came, and she was familiar enough with how his body stiffened right before his climax that she knew when he was about to. Thrusting into her mouth a few more times, he felt his body go rigid. With his eyes tightly squeezed shut, he came with a groan, and she swallowed his semen as it spilled down her throat.

He remained lying on the bed with his eyes closed after he was done, and she had sat up next to him. "Yeah, I'll give you away," he finally said. "Twisted lunatic."

Kuroi smiled. "Thanks, Ryou. It means a lot to me."

"Just do me a favor," he said, opening his eyes at last and glancing to her. "Before you kiss him, make sure to brush your teeth."

--- --- ---

[_**June 23, 2012**_]

"That is complete and utter bullshit," Charlie said as he sat on the bed, watching Ryou put away the last of his clean clothes into the closet. Ryou was extremely lazy when it came to putting away his clothes on laundry day, often waiting until right before he went to bed. "There is no way that Tracy gave you a blowjob the night before she married George."

"You want to ask her?" Ryou retorted, quirking an eyebrow. "Besides, you were the one who asked why he should be more worried about me than you when it comes to Kuroi. If I'd been into the whole casual sex thing, I would have done a whole lot more with her than just been the recipient of a blowjob."

Charlie shook his head. "She wouldn't do that."

Ryou snorted. "You don't know what she would do. We're talking about the same woman who fucked her brother."

"Bull fucking shit," Charlie said.

"Ask her sometime," Ryou insisted, turning around. "Back when she was working for him, Kuroi would fuck Jichou after returning from a successful job."

Charlie made a face. "That's just sick."

Ryou shrugged. "By human standards, yes. Incest is taboo. But there are humans out there who do engage in such activities. Aren't your parents something like third cousins once removed?"

"There is a far cry between third cousins and brother and sister!" Charlie protested. "Besides, most purebloods are similarly related."

"There was never any chance of them having a child together," Ryou said dismissively, closing the closet door. "I suppose demons are just more open about things like that. Besides, I grew up with Izuna. We may not be related by blood, but we were raised like brother and sister."

Charlie frowned. "It's still sick. And you didn't even know them back then. How the hell would you know if they ever slept together?"

"I might not have known them then, but that doesn't mean there aren't any demons 'round here that didn't," Ryou replied. "One of the blokes I play poker with used to work for Jichou 'bout a century ago. He told me loads of stories from the day. And can you honestly say that you've never slept with two sisters at the same time?"

He had heard plenty of stories about Charlie from various people. One of the stories he'd heard was how Charlie had been in a threesome with twin sisters not long after finishing Hogwarts. Sure enough, Charlie dodged the question by replying, "That's different."

Ryou smirked triumphantly. "It's not different. You'd barely bat an eye if I told you Kuroi fooled around with a sister of hers." He waved off the look Charlie gave him. "She never did anything like that with Janice, and didn't have any other sisters I know about. But that's beside the point. There's a different level of disgust, because it's a double standard. You might frown upon on two sisters or two brothers involving themselves like that, but it doesn't cause quite the same level of disgust as the idea of a brother and sister involving themselves like that."

Charlie just shook his head. "I still don't believe that Tracy gave you a blowjob the night before her wedding," he said, obviously trying to change the subject off the current discussion about incest. "I know that you wouldn't have fooled around with someone involved with someone else. You're not the type."

"Oh?" Ryou quirked an eyebrow, choosing to go along with the subject change. He walked over to sit next to Charlie on the bed. "And what makes you say that?"

"You have higher morals than that," Charlie said. "And why the hell would you let someone give you a blowjob if you wouldn't sleep with them?"

"I wouldn't sleep with her because I don't sleep around," Ryou replied. "Sex is about intimacy. It's symbolic of two people consummating their relationship by becoming as physically close to each other as two people could possibly get, or some rot like that. A blowjob is symbolic of nothing. It's just about pleasure. I seem to recall giving you a blowjob just last week."

Charlie flushed slightly. "Yeah, well…"

Ryou continued as if Charlie hadn't said anything. "And I don't know what 'morals' you seem to think I have, but morality has nothing to do with it. Understand that in demon culture, fidelity is judged on a much different scale than yours. Relationships are far more open. Two people may be mates, but that doesn't mean they won't engage in certain activities with others. The key is that their relationships are _open_. They make sure their mate is informed of what they're doing with who."

Charlie shook his head. "It sounded like George wasn't informed at all."

Ryou shrugged. "That was Kuroi's responsibility. Going back to your ridiculous notion of 'morality', if someone is involved in a monogamous relationship with someone else, they should be the one with the 'morals' not to give someone else a blowjob. Besides, _you _fucked her."

"_Before _they got together," Charlie protested. "I've slept with quite a number of people, so it's no surprise that I had a one night stand with a woman that became the future wife of one of my brothers."

Ryou shot him a challenging look. "I'll take the bait. What other 'future wives of brothers' had you slept with?"

"Well, during the first task of the Triwizard Tournament, I slept with Fleur," Charlie replied. "Unlike George, Bill was pretty cool about it. Of course, he already knew about it. Fleur's kind of on the kinky side. She, er, wanted a threesome with us. They started dating later, so more power to 'em."

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "'Kinky' is not participating in threesomes, even if one of the participants is your brother," he said sagely. "Kink is whips and chains and all that rot. And weren't you going on earlier about how incest was 'sick'?"

Charlie shrugged. "I didn't fool around with Bill or anything. We were just both kinda there."

Ryou shook his head and glanced to the bedroom door. "Your kid'll wake up in about half an hour for a nappy change."

"_Again_?" Charlie sighed and shook his head. "So is there a story behind the box Karin gave you right after I moved in? You didn't seem too pleased about it, and Karin seemed downright terrified of you later."

"No story. It was a birthday present from Janice," Ryou said, frowning as he got up and walked to the window. He opened it and leaned his upper body out before lighting up a cigarette. He didn't like to smoke around the baby, so made sure that when he did, he was always in another room with the window open. "She thought it would be funny to give me a bunch of lube and sex toys."

Charlie raised an eyebrow before snorting with amusement and laughing. "Lube and sex toys? Think she's trying to tell us anything?"

"I know she was," Ryou said, taking a deep drag.

--- --- ---

[_**June 18, 2011**_]

"You want me to what?" Ryou repeated, blinking.

Janice smiled. "Join us in a threesome. I don't think Charlie would mind. In fact, I think he'd enjoy it."

Ryou scoffed and sipped at his drink. "I'm sure he would…" he muttered.

She got up out of her seat and slid in next to him, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Come on, Ryou. You wouldn't even have to be in your female form. And I'll level with you. I'm not into anal sex, but I am curious about double penetration, and I'd let you stick your cock up my arse."

Ryou snorted before coughing. Perhaps he should refrain from drinking while she was talking. After he'd regained control of his ability to speak, he eloquently asked, "What the fuck?!"

"Or…" Janice began, placing a hand on his knee and slowly moving it up his thigh, "anywhere else at all, really. I'm not too picky. Pick an orifice, any orifice… You could fuck me any way you wanted to."

Ryou shook his head and glanced to the stage, where a demon with long mane-like hair was just finishing singing some song about roses and thorns. "You just want me to fuck you. You don't care about a threesome at all."

Janice leaned close to him, sliding her hand further up to rest on his cock, massaging it through his jeans. "That's not true. I want to watch the two of you fuck while I stroke myself to orgasm. Maybe have one of you fuck me while being fucked by the other."

"What the hell makes you think I'd be into something like that?" Ryou asked, grabbing her wrist and removing her hand from his crotch. He was very grateful for his ability to control his body's reactions sometimes. A lesser man (or demon) might have gotten an erection at having his package fondled by an attractive woman.

"Because I know you," she replied, reaching across the table for her drink. They'd gone to the Ogre's Lair after a successful mission, and decided to relax with a couple pints of Nerkyan ale. "You can pretend all you want that you're content all by yourself, but deep down you want someone to fuck. Please, Ryou? My birthday's next week, and it would mean so much to me."

"Maybe to you, but I'm not looking for a meaningless fuck," Ryou said, standing up and sliding out of the booth. He relocated himself across from her. "When I get intimate with someone, it will be with someone I care about and respect. It won't be part of some meaningless fling of yours. Now leave me alone. I'm not going to join you and your fuck buddy in a threesome. He better not have put you up to this…"

--- --- ---

[_**June 23, 2012**_]

Charlie blinked. "Janice asked you to join us in a threesome?" he asked in disbelief. "She never said anything like that to me."

"Yeah, I'd figured that was the first you'd heard of it," Ryou said, exhaling a bit of smoke out the window. "I didn't think she'd tell you, since I refused her and all."

"That would have made things so much simpler," Charlie said, shaking his head. "But I find it hard to believe that no matter how much control you claim to have over your body, that you wouldn't get an erection when a beautiful woman was groping your cock and telling you she wanted you to stick it in her. It's just not possible."

"You don't believe me?" Ryou repeated, raising an eyebrow and flicking a bit of ash out the window. "I know that when we were at Shin's, you saw my tattoo. Do you have any idea how much body control it takes to stay erect while getting a tattoo on your cock?"

Charlie made a thoughtful face as if he didn't know. "I imagine it really hurt, didn't it?"

"It hurt like a bloody mother fucking son of a bitch," Ryou said. "You've got magical tattoos, right? I've seen that dragon on your chest. So you know how much it hurts to get one."

"Your tattoo is magical?" Charlie asked. "Not just a normal tat?"

"You've seen it while I was flaccid," Ryou said, taking a drag off his cigarette. "But it changes when I'm erect. Normal tats don't do that."

--- --- ---

[_**June 9, 2001**_]

"You want a tattoo of a what _where_?" Bill repeated, glancing up from the notes about Ryou's curse that he was studying. They had met up at Bill's house to try to work on breaking the curse on Ryou. So far it had involved plenty of boring study, and not enough kicking of anyone's arses for Ryou's liking.

"A rose vine around my dick," Ryou said, examining a text of runes. He couldn't read it, but couldn't help but notice that runes were similar to the written Makayan language in structure. "Do you know anyone who could do it?"

Bill blinked. "I could do it, but you do realize that getting that particular part of your anatomy inked will hurt like hell. Especially if you get it done magically. Not only would you feel the normal stings of the inking needle, but the spells used to charm it burn. You wouldn't really be able to use your pecker for a while."

"I'm a demon," Ryou said. "I heal fast, and I have a high threshold for pain."

Bill just looked at him for a few moments, as if gauging his seriousness. "You really want to do this?"

"Just so long as it fits my specifications," Ryou said.

Bill took in a long breath and sighed. "As I said, I could do it. There are limits on just what a magic tattoo can do, but if you want to make up a list of specifications then I could get my equipment."

Fifteen minutes later, Ryou was appraising the art work that would be used for the tattoo while Bill was going over the list of desired specifications. Bill's tattoo equipment was already laid out and ready on the table by the chaise longue in his living room.

"I'll admit, this will be a bit tricky to pull off, but not impossible," Bill commented, quirking an eyebrow.

"You can't do it?" Ryou asked, glancing over at him. The artwork seemed to be satisfactory, so whether his specifications could be met determined whether he went through with it or not.

"I can," Bill said, frowning, "but I was told that magic doesn't work quite right on demons."

"It can work if you get past a demon's natural defense," Ryou said. "You'll need to use magic on me to bring the tattoo to life, so I would lower my Youki. Just so long as you don't try anything weird, it should be fine."

"If the design is all right, do you want to go through with this?" Bill asked.

Ryou nodded. "None of the parlors I went to could do it. I take it you can and will?"

Bill nodded and pointed to the chaise longue. "We'll do it there. You'll need to be, er, erect for this. There's a spell if you--"

"I'll be fine," Ryou said, walking over to the chaise and sitting down. "I'd rather avoid any unnecessary magic."

Half an hour later, he was gritting his teeth as the tattoo needle buzzed the chosen design across his cock. He kept his eyes closed tightly so he could focus on blocking out the pain while keeping himself from going limp. While he could easily glance down to see just how close Bill was to finishing, doing so might disrupt his concentration.

"Ees he still 'ere?" Bill's wife Fleur asked as she came down the staircase and saw them in the living room. "What are you doing, anyway?"

The inking needle stopped temporarily, giving Ryou the chance to use his Youki to reduce the pain he felt until it was no more than a stinging ache.

"He wanted a tattoo," Bill replied. "Victoire finally down for her nap, then?"

"Oui," Fleur replied. The needle started up again, and Ryou involuntarily hissed with pain. "I cannot see 'ow he can stand ze pain," she continued, walking toward them.

"It's almost done," Bill said. "Just a few more lines, and then I'll be casting the spells to bring it to life."

Ryou was glad to hear that. He might not fancy the thought of having magic used on him -- particularly since he was told it would hurt just as much as the needle, if not more -- but he was able to deal with the pain just fine so far.

"I 'ope you don't plan on doing somezink so foolish as a tattoo on your privates," Fleur commented, sidling up to Bill.

Bill smiled slightly as he applied the finishing touches with the inking needle. "Ready for the spells now?" he asked Ryou.

"Just do it," Ryou hissed through clenched teeth. The sooner the spells were cast, the sooner he could use his Youki to eliminate the pain. He knew he had to lower it so the spells would go through, which meant that he had nothing to block the pain except for his own willpower.

Bill nodded and started weaving complicated looking sigils above Ryou's new tattoo. Ryou tried not to cry out as it felt like his cock was being dipped into a vat of acid. It was difficult to maintain the erection he knew was necessary for the tattoo's completion, and he vowed to resume his training as soon as possible.

"It makes 'im look a bit smaller, don't you theenk?" Fleur commented as she watched Bill moving his wand as an artist would move a paintbrush.

Ryou tuned out her comment, ignoring whatever it was that Bill said to her in reply. He refused to let his concentration fail, as he'd come this far. He could deal with the pain. So long as he kept his pecker up and his Youki down, the process would be completed that much faster.

"There," Bill said, putting his wand away. "I'd recommend disinfecting it at least twice a day until the soreness and swelling go down, and--"

But as soon as Bill had declared the tattoo as completed, Ryou had used his Youki to soothe the soreness of his throbbing extremity. He lowered his body temperature and encased his genitals in ice for a few seconds. The lingering burning sensation faded, and he let the ice dissipate. Wanting to make certain that the magic still held, he poked a finger at one of the rosebuds, watching it turn from white to yellow. The surrounding vines seemed to shift around. "This will work," he declared. He glared up at Fleur. "And I'm not 'small'."

Fleur shot him a defensive look. "I never said you were! I just said it makes you look smaller zen you are!"

Ryou scoffed and started to pull up his pants. "Whatever." He glanced to Bill. "I'd rather not be in your debt, so what do I owe you?"

Before Bill could answer, Fleur whispered something in his ear. "Are you sure?" he asked her once she pulled back from him. She nodded and he turned to Ryou. "Er, my wife is a bit curious about how different demons are than humans regarding some matters."

Ryou tilted his head in curiosity.

An hour later, Ryou returned to his flat, pleased that he was finally able to get the tattoo he wanted, but baffled as to why some humans were under the impression that he was vastly alien to a human, physiologically speaking. Fleur was supposed to be part-Veela -- a magical creature that may or may not have demonic origins depending on who one spoke to -- so he failed to see the reason why she wanted to go down on him while Bill fucked her. Still, he only had about five pounds with him, so he supposed it was better to satisfy that curiosity than to owe anyone money.

--- --- ---

[_**June 23, 2012**_]

"I would call the ending of that story bullshit," Charlie said as he stood up to check on Sophia, "except I know my brother, and I know Fleur, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least to hear that about them. You, on the other hand… You would seriously prostitute yourself for a _tattoo_?"

"I didn't _prostitute _myself," Ryou said defensively, taking a drag off his cigarette. "I didn't have much money on me, Fleur was curious if demons tasted any different, so I obliged her curiosity by letting her give me a blowjob in lieu of paying actual money for my tattoo."

"Yeah… That's called prostitution," Charlie commented. He shook his head and went into the other room.

Ryou shrugged and flicked some ashes onto the fire escape below. At least the idiot who lived below him wasn't out and yapping away on his mobile this time.

"I still have a difficult time believing that you have that much control over your body," Charlie said as he carried Sophia inside the room. He set her down on the bed, unsnapping her pajama fastenings in preparation of changing her. "It sounds like you didn't take any breaks, and to be erect for that amount of time while going through that much pain just seems biologically impossible."

"Believe what you want," Ryou muttered. He glanced over his shoulder and glared at Charlie. "And what the hell do you think you're doing, bringing her in here? I'm standing here smoking a cigarette with the window wide open, you pillock!"

"You should quit," Charlie said as he rolled his eyes and walked back into the other room with Sophia. "Why'd you even start, anyway?"

"It's Kuroi's fault," Ryou said, taking one last drag off his cigarette before flicking the butt down to the street below.

--- --- ---

[_**September 20, 1999**_]

"I thought we weren't going to do this anymore," Ryou said, closing his eyes as Kuroi's mouth moved along his shaft. He'd gone to her house to wish her a slightly ironic 'happy birthday', even though demons didn't really celebrate birthdays and her true birthday wasn't in the month of September at all, but rather the now-defunct month of Grijok. It was her human host body's 20th birthday, however, and humans did celebrate such things. He wasn't sure of just what to expect when he went over, but he certainly had not anticipated for her to unzip his jeans almost immediately after he sat down on her couch and start in just like old times. "Where's your husband?" he asked.

Kuroi released his cock from her mouth with a popping sound. "At work," she replied. "And Chloe's upstairs sleeping." She shifted positions so she was no longer on her knees in front of him, but standing just above his lap. "I want you to fuck me." She took one of his hands in hers, guiding it under her skirt. "We never did get the chance before."

"I told you before," Ryou said as he moved a finger along the fabric of her knickers. "I'm not going to fuck you. I want my first time to be with someone I care about."

"You care about me," she pointed out as he dipped a finger past the edge, gently running a finger along her folds.

"You removed your piercing," he commented as he began to rub the tip of his finger along her clitoris. She moaned and wrapped her hand along his cock, stoking him up and down. "And you know what I mean."

"You want it to be with someone you love," Kuroi said as she closed her eyes and threw her head back. "Right there, Ryou… Oh…"

Ryou smirked as he continued to stimulate her. It really had been a while since they had done this. He'd almost forgotten how responsive she could be to his touch sometimes. He ran a hand up her shirt and squeezed one of her breasts, pinching her hardened nipple just how she liked. "I doubt your husband would like it if he were to find us here like this. I thought he kept you satisfied."

"He does," Kuroi replied, moving her hand along his cock faster. Ryou groaned and let his eyes flutter shut. She was using her Youki in such a way that he knew he would come soon. If this was her game, though, he would make sure she got off first. He had his pride, after all. He let his Youki gather around his hand, pressing against and inside her as he tweaked and played with her clitoris. "I just… Oh… Want you…" She let out a gasping moan before screaming as she came down hard on him.

Ryou chuckled. "Why come on to me, then?"

Kuroi didn't answer him, opting to pump him harder and faster. Not long after, Ryou followed her into climax, grunting as he spilled his seed into her hand. "I want you to fuck me," she repeated, clinging against him. "Maybe not today, but someday. After you've given yourself to someone you love. Will you promise me that?"

Ryou opened his eyes and looked at her. They'd had similar conversations before, but those had taken place before she married the idiot. "You seriously want me to fuck you?"

Kuroi nodded as she kissed him briefly. "Yes, I do."

He stared at her for a few more seconds before closing his eyes and sighing. "Expect a long wait."

Kuroi smiled and got off his lap, straightening her clothes and wiping his cum off her hand with a tissue from the coffee table. "Thank you, Ryou." She sat down next to him and reached behind the couch cushion and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Want one? George wants me to quit, but it's not so easy."

Ryou shook his head. While it didn't have quite the same effect on demons, he didn't see why humans would pollute their lungs by inhaling all the poisons manufactured in cigarettes. "I'll pass," he said as he put himself back in place and zipped up his pants.

Kuroi shrugged and lit up her cigarette, hiding the pack behind the couch cushion again. "Chloe isn't even five months old yet, and George is already wanting another child."

Ryou quirked an eyebrow. "Another one? Why?"

"It's a dominance thing," she replied, exhaling a bit of smoke. "He likes the idea of me swelling with his child."

"And that's why it doesn't bother you to cuckold him with me," Ryou commented.

Kuroi smiled. She set her cigarette down on top of an open soda can on the coffee table and leaned into him. Ryou wrapped his arms around her as she kissed him. He supposed he could be disgusted at knowing that she'd had his cock in her mouth not too long ago, but really couldn't care less. He kept himself clean, and couldn't really taste himself on her tongue that moved along his. He moaned as she ground against him, his cock starting to stir once more. Sometimes she made him want to break his self-imposed celibacy. She pulled away too soon and said, "Yoru would understand." She picked up her cigarette from on top of the soda can and took a drag.

"George isn't Yoru," Ryou said.

Kuroi was about to reply when the front door opened. Her eyes widened and she quickly passed Ryou the cigarette. "Back so soon?" she asked George as she stood up to face him.

"Took the rest of the day off so I could spend it with you," George replied, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her. He bent down to kiss her. "How's Chloe?" he asked once he pulled back.

"Sleeping," she said. "Although I think she'd rather you have just stayed home all day. It took a while to calm her after you left."

George chuckled. "That's my little angel." He noticed Ryou sitting on the couch and frowned slightly. "And I see the cross-dresser's here," he said flatly.

Ryou scowled at him. "Idiot," he greeted. Realizing he was still holding Kuroi's lit cigarette, he took a drag off it rather than saying anything else. It was better than being caught, at least.

--- --- ---

[_**June 23, 2012**_]

Charlie's eyes were wide as he returned to the bedroom. "You had an _affair _with Tracy?!"

"An affair would imply we were sleeping together," Ryou replied, closing the window. "I thought I made it clear that we never had."

"She was married!" Charlie protested, closing the bedroom door behind him. "I know that you don't like George, but to fool around with his wife?"

Ryou narrowed his eyes. "What's the big deal? I didn't sleep with her."

"It's disrespectful!"

Ryou snorted. "Disrespectful? What they did when our bodies got switched, _that _was disrespectful. In comparison, what Kuroi and I did was nothing."

--- --- ---

[_**August 8, 1998**_]

Ryou had no idea what that idiot had been drinking before their bodies were switched, but he really needed to use the loo. It was bad enough that he was stuck in the body of that idiot George, but he'd rather not have to touch that moron's junk if he could avoid it. Unfortunately, it seemed like his only options at the moment were to get up to use the loo, or to piss himself where he laid on the floor. The first option sounded much better, no matter how he looked at it.

He tossed the blanket on him aside and stood up. A cursory glance around Kuroi's living room showed that two people seemed to be missing. It was too dark to see who was there and who wasn't, so he decided attending to his current need to take a piss was more important. Sidestepping Janice, who was curled up by the stairs, he began climbing the steps.

He frowned as he heard something that sounded suspiciously like moans coming from one of the rooms. There shouldn't be any reason for anyone to make any kind of moaning sounds. The detective Fred was stuck in Ryou's own body, and Fred's woman with the strange name hadn't acted too pleased about it. Ryou was tempted to investigate, but nature called.

After locating the loo and relieving himself, Ryou decided that it was in his best interest to investigate. While Fred wasn't as bad as his idiotic twin, Ryou didn't know whether to write him off as someone worthy of contempt but a begrudging respect, or just someone to be indifferent to while holding a modicum of respect for him. For Fred's sake, he better not be having sex with that strange girl Hermione while in Ryou's body. Ryou had a good enough grasp of spirit energy to use George's if he needed to.

Ryou was silent as he crept down the hall. He stopped at the door where the moans were coming from, which was closed. He quietly turned the knob, hoping the door didn't creak as he pushed it open slightly.

He quirked an eyebrow as he saw what appeared to be Kuroi and Fred in there, locked in an intimate position. It was their bodies at least, although he knew from the way their bodies were switched around that the idiot George was in Kuroi's body, while she was in his twin Fred's. Earlier in the day, they'd had a brief conversation about 'experimenting' while switched around in different bodies. It had sounded more like Kuroi was teasing him, but apparently there was more to it than that.

Ryou shook his head and walked away, not even bothering to close the door as George and Kuroi had sex while in their temporary bodies. He wasn't responsible if they got caught by any of the other houseguests. They were the ones who hadn't bothered to lock the door, after all.

--- --- ---

[_**June 23, 2012**_]

Charlie blinked. "Wait. So George was stuck in Tracy's body, and Tracy was stuck in Fred's body…"

Ryou nodded. "And they had sex. If you stop to think about it, that means George had sex with his brother."

Charlie shook his head and sat down on the bed. "I don't want to think about it…"

"But they're twins, so maybe that's not too bad…"

Charlie glared at him. "Ryou, please. Just stop. How true is any of that, anyway?"

Ryou chuckled and walked over to the bed. "Truth is relative. Kind of like them, at the time."

"Enough with the incest cracks!" Charlie protested. He shook his head. "I really didn't need to hear all this. Was there a point to telling me all of this?"

Ryou smirked. "Revenge for that 'sexless' crack of yours earlier."

Charlie's jaw dropped. "I didn't call you '_sexless_'! I just wondered if you might be asexual, since you don't seem to take an interest in sex, and I've never been able to figure out whether you prefer blokes or birds."

Ryou tilted his head. "Really? 'Sexless' and 'asexual' mean the same thing. And I have no preference for one gender over the other. But I'm certainly not 'sexless'."

"Yeah, I pretty much gathered that when you went down on me last week," Charlie muttered.

"As I recall, you wondered where I'd learned where to do that," Ryou said, placing his arms behind his head as he laid back. "And now you know."

Charlie frowned. "Does George know you had an affair with his wife?"

Ryou shrugged. "I never bothered to ask. And I told you. It's not an affair, because we never had sex."

"You had oral sex with her," Charlie pointed out. "And you wanked each other off. You seriously don't feel the least bit bad about fooling around with her behind his back?"

"I'm not perfect," Ryou said. "I'm not a saint, or pure, or any of that other drivel. I know that by human standards, what we did could be considered wrong. By demon standards, it is not. What we did would be merely construed as masturbation."

Charlie just shook his head and walked over to the dresser. "You don't want to be with her, though."

"No, I don't."

"You're not trying to destroy their marriage, either, I take it," Charlie said.

"I'm not."

And he really wasn't. While Ryou thought that Kuroi could do better than that idiot George, he knew that she was happy with the fool. Even if she wasn't, he didn't want to be with her in that way. While Kuroi was right about Yoru understanding, George and Yoru weren't the same. Ryou wasn't convinced that Kuroi truly viewed George and Yoru as different people, but that wasn't his problem.

"I'm not going to tell him," Charlie said in resignation. "There's no point in it, and it would just cause problems." He pulled a pair of pajama bottoms out of the drawer. "Even if demons don't view it as being unfaithful, would you ever-- Er…"

"No," Ryou interrupted, his voice quiet. "I wouldn't go behind your back for a cheap thrill. I'd rather be open and honest with you, just as I'd hope you would with me. I know you have commitment issues, and you're used to sleeping around. I actually don't care if you do so long as you admit to it."

Charlie blinked and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Ryou. "So what is this we have? I mean, it's obviously something, but I could never quite figure out just what."

Ryou glanced to him briefly before sitting up. "You really need to stop trying to put a label on everything." He leaned into Charlie, moving in for a kiss. Charlie responded by pulling him closer, practically onto his lap.

They'd never spoken about just what exactly was going on between them. Ryou knew that Charlie wasn't used to an actual relationship. Flings and one night stands, yes, but never anything real. He also knew that Charlie wanted something real, although wasn't sure of how to express it, and was still trying to figure out those feelings for himself. Ryou supposed it couldn't be easy when the only way one knew how to express feelings like love or attraction was through sexual activity. He himself wasn't one for poetic words or declarations of love. Few people saw him as anything more than some asexual creature, though, which usually suited him fine.

Ryou pulled away from him, breathing a bit heavier than he'd been before their kiss. "Trust your intuition," he said.

Charlie nodded. "Speaking of intuition, how many of those stories were total bullshit?" he asked, smiling slightly.

Ryou smiled. Charlie knew him well. "Two were complete bullshit that never happened, two were true, and one was a mixture of truth and bullshit."

"I thought as such," Charlie said, standing up to change into his pajama bottoms. "Do you want me to guess, or will you tell me?" he asked as he unzipped his pants.

Ryou contemplated him briefly before standing up and grabbing Charlie's wrists with one hand. He grabbed Charlie's pajama bottoms with the other and cast them aside. "I want to hear your guesses first," he said, mentally smirking at Charlie's look of shock. He boldly moved his hands to unbutton and unzip Charlie's trousers.

Charlie took in a deep breath. "I would say your story about Janice was true," he said as Ryou lowered his pants, leaving him standing in only his boxers. "It sounds like something she would have done, especially with how she felt about us both. Am I right?"

"Mm-hmm," Ryou agreed as he straightened up. "What else?"

"What you were saying about what Tracy and George did when their bodies were switched," Charlie continued, his breath catching when Ryou pulled at the waistband of his boxers. "That was false. George wouldn't do something like that."

Ryou smiled. Charlie's boxers soon joined his pants on the floor. "Two for two. Want to try for another?"

Charlie closed his eyes as Ryou's hand wrapped around his length, slowly moving along it. "Your tattoo…" He went silent, his breathing ragged.

Ryou smirked. With one hand, he unbuttoned and unzipped his own jeans. He stopped stimulating Charlie briefly to pull his own jeans and boxers down onto the floor, letting his own erection free from its confines. "My tattoo…?" he prompted.

Charlie opened his eyes and glanced down. "Rosebuds… They should change color, right?" He reached out, tentatively touching a blue rosebud that turned red. Ryou's cock twitched at the contact, and he involuntarily sucked in a breath. "So that's the other true story…"

Ryou smirked. He turned away from Charlie and walked over to the nightstand by the bed. "So what story is the mix of truth and lies?"

Charlie blinked before shaking his head. "I don't know. Maybe Tracy really did ask you to give her away? I was a bit preoccupied at her wedding, so I can't really recall who walked her down the aisle."

Ryou quirked an eyebrow as he opened the nightstand drawer. "Don't tell me you were afraid of your brother."

Charlie made a face. "Hell, no. I'd fucked one of her bridesmaids about five minutes before the ceremony. And Fred and George were trying to use the occasion to promote as many products of theirs as possible."

Ryou laughed at the memory. He walked back to Charlie, kissing him briefly. "Move to the dresser," he instructed. Charlie shot him a questioning look, but went with him toward the dresser. Before he could turn around to face him, Ryou placed a hand on his back. "Not yet. I want to know if you trust me."

"Of course I trust you," Charlie said, glancing over his shoulder as he placed a hand on the dresser for balance. "But--" He went silent as Ryou squirted a bit of lubricant onto his hand. It was some sort of waterproof watermelon-scented atrocity he'd received in what Karin had told him was a birthday present from Janice. There was a reason the ferry girl was not welcome to drop by with strange gifts anymore.

"You understand me," Ryou stated, sliding his lube-covered hand along his cock. "You've wanted me for a while now, even before you realized it yourself. I've been waiting to make sure." He tossed the bottle to the ground and moved closer to Charlie. He used his free hand to push aside one of his buttocks, and inserted a slick finger into Charlie's opening. "You were afraid, though."

Charlie moaned as Ryou inserted another finger, scissoring them inside to stretch him and let the remaining lube coat him.

Pulling out his fingers, Ryou used his hand to move Charlie's other buttock aside. "I would rather be upfront with you about the less agreeable aspects of my past," he said as he aligned the head of his penis with Charlie's arsehole. "I'm not some asexual stoic with a high moral standard." He slowly pushed forward.

"Ryou…" Charlie moaned. "I…"

"You also understand why I've never slept with anyone, right?" Ryou asked, deliberately entering Charlie slowly. He was barely inside; only the head had penetrated Charlie's opening so far.

Charlie nodded. "You wanted your first to be with someone you love."

Ryou smiled before thrusting forward, completely sheathing himself inside Charlie. "I won't say it," he said, pulling back slightly before plunging in once again. He had no idea how many times Charlie had done _this _before, but he was tighter than Ryou had thought he'd be. Of course, he had no frame of reference when it came to tightness, so it didn't really matter.

Charlie moved his other arm forward to brace himself as Ryou thrust in and out of him. "Ryou…" he moaned. His breath caught as Ryou snaked an arm around, grabbing Charlie's shaft with one hand, pumping him in rhythm with his thrusts. "I…"

"I'm not human," Ryou said, thrusting forward. "I don't subscribe to all the nuances of demon culture--" Thrust. "--I do not subscribe to your sense of morality--" Thrust. "--but you should already know that."

Charlie moaned loudly as he gripped the dresser tightly to maintain his balance. "Right there, Ryou… Right there…"

Ryou thrust deeply into him, hitting the spot that Charlie reacted so well to. "You were afraid. You would desire sex without commitment. And then you feared that taking things too far would cause you to lose me." He plunged into Charlie with greater intensity. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered into his ear.

"Ryou… I… Love… Ryou…" Charlie called out as he came, spilling his seed on the dresser and the floor. Ryou followed him into climax not long after, shooting his cum inside the other man.

They stood like that for a few moments, breathing heavily. In all his years, Ryou had never felt as close to anyone as he did to Charlie. He'd had plenty of opportunity to lose his virginity in the past, but never saw the point. He meant what he'd said about sex being an intimate act, while other activities like fellatio were more about pleasure than intimacy. Still, he didn't regret taking that step.

He slowly pulled out of Charlie, noting that his cock was sticky and covered with a combination of lubricant and his own semen. He would definitely need a shower before going to bed. "Do you understand?"

Charlie nodded, slowly turning away to face him. "I think so." He stepped forward, kissing Ryou briefly. "I… You don't have to say anything. I know."

Ryou smiled. "I suppose if she's watching from wherever she is, Janice got her wish about watching us."

Charlie tilted his head before nodding. "I suppose she did. And her present was put to good use."

"Just in time for her birthday," Ryou commented. He gestured to the dresser and floor. "Think you can magic away your splooge while I shower?"

"Crude as ever," Charlie muttered.

"Naturally," Ryou said, smiling slightly as he began to walk to the bathroom. "You didn't think things would change that much, did you?"

Charlie blinked before smiling. "No, I suppose not."

--- --- ---

[_**September 20, 2012**_]

"So how'd things go?" Charlie asked after Ryou returned from meeting Kuroi at the Three Broomsticks. They met up somewhere every year on her birthday to catch up with one another. It had been a tradition for the past fifteen years, ever since they met the summer between her sixth and seventh years. He never asked how she snuck out of the castle that first year, and didn't really care.

Ryou grunted as he set his leather duster across a chair. "Things went."

Charlie nodded mutely as he paced around the room with Sophia, who was fussing. "Did you sleep with her?" he questioned in a strained tone. He had already changed into his pajama pants for the night, appearing as though he hadn't expected Ryou to return so soon.

Ryou glanced over at him, pausing from where he'd been loosening the collar of his shirt. He preferred to wear jeans and a t-shirt, but such an ensemble was too 'unprofessional' for a Hogwarts professor to wear, and he'd gone to the Three Broomsticks right after his last class ended. He refused to give up his leather duster, though. It was black, and it was long, and he wasn't a wizard so it made a good substitute for the robes other professors wore. "I thought you didn't believe that I'd ever fooled around with her."

Charlie shrugged, rubbing Sophia's back. "I don't want to. I want to believe that you'd never do something like that."

Ryou stared at him for a few moments before walking over. "I didn't sleep with her," he said quietly. "I know you want to believe the best in me, but those stories were true." He paused. "Well, she never asked me to walk her down the aisle, so that part was bullshit. She actually asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I told her to go to hell." He shook his head. "We haven't fooled around for years, though."

Charlie didn't look at him. "It's fine, though. If you want to. Demons have different morality than us humans."

"It's not fine," Ryou said, taking the still-fussing Sophia from Charlie. Much to his annoyance, she calmed down almost immediately. He'd suspected that she didn't need her nappy changed and that she wasn't hungry, but to simply want _him _to hold her… That was what her father was supposed to be for. "I don't want to put a label like 'relationship' on what we have. We just _are_. At the same time, I don't have any desire to sleep around." He glanced at Charlie. "Don't start the petty jealousy crap. It doesn't suit you. And don't tell me you're fine with things you're not. For the record, I wouldn't have slept with her even if we weren't involved."

"But didn't you promise her that you would someday?" Charlie asked.

"That was a long time ago," Ryou replied, walking toward Sophia's crib with her. She seemed to know what he was planning, and immediately started crying. The moment he turned away from the crib, she calmed down. He sighed with annoyance. "A lot's happened since."

"Like whatever's happened between us," Charlie said.

"It's not just that," Ryou said, glancing to him. "I don't want to sleep with her, or fool around with her. I don't like feeling dirty and ashamed."

"Oh?" Charlie asked, looking for one of Sophia's favorite toys. "What changed?"

--- --- ---

[**September 20, 2007**]

It was hardly unusual at all for George to be at work while Ryou met with Kuroi for her birthday. He knew that they would get together yearly, and left them alone to catch up on their lives. He didn't like Ryou much, so didn't really want to be around when he was there. It also wasn't unusual for their children to be taken care of by various relatives that day. From what Kuroi told him, four-year-old Jack and the almost two-year-old triplets were with their uncle Ron at a Quidditch match, while her oldest two were in school.

He moaned as Kuroi laid on top of him, their lips locked in a passionate kiss with teeth and tongues. He involuntarily bucked his hips against hers as she rubbed against him.

Kuroi smiled, pulling back slightly to move on to kiss the side of his neck. "You're rather hard," she murmured before nipping on his earlobe.

Ryou moaned. "And that surprises you?"

She chuckled and shifted positions. She trailed a finger slowly down his torso before unzipping his jeans. "I know what you want," she said as she pulled his erection out from the confining fabric.

Ryou closed his eyes as she slid her tongue along his shaft as she took his cock in her mouth. She always knew just how to please him, practically swallowing him while caressing his balls with one hand. If she had any sort of gag reflex, she suppressed it well as she deep throated him with a skill honed by centuries.

He wanted to say that he honestly didn't know what she got out of performing oral sex on him. He never returned the favor. The only time when he ever reciprocated whatever sexual gratification she gave him was the rare times when he would wank her off while she did the same to him. He knew, however that the thrill of doing something so forbidden and illicit gave her gratification enough not to need the favor returned. If anything, she got more out of their trysts than he did.

He moaned as he continued to thrust into her mouth. His body tensed slightly before he spilled into her mouth with a grunt and she began to swallow his cum greedily.

"What are you doing, mum?" Chloe asked as she closed the front door.

Ryou swore as he opened his eyes. From his position on the couch, he could see that her daughters Chloe and Paige had just returned home, looking confused over what they were seeing.

Kuroi picked her head up, wiping her mouth. "You're home early," she said, getting off of Ryou. He scrambled to put himself back into place and zipped up his pants.

"We were let out early," Chloe continued. "Some teacher meeting at school."

Ryou didn't pay any attention to what they were talking about. If he were the type to blush or show any visible indication of being embarrassed, he knew he would be bright red at that time. In some ways, it would have been better if George had been the one to walk through the door. Muttering his excuses, he swiftly left, not wanting to hear how Kuroi explained to her children what they'd been doing.

--- --- ---

[**September 20, 2012**]

Charlie's eyes were wide. "Her _kids _caught the two of you?"

Ryou nodded. "Even by demon standards, what we were doing was wrong. I tried to justify any guilt I might have felt by claiming that it was her responsibility to inform the fool of what we were doing. It wasn't until then that I felt ashamed of what I'd been doing." He went over to sit in a chair with Sophia, who seemed content in his arms. "Fooling around behind George's back was one thing. He's an idiot I've never held anything more than contempt for. But seeing her kids like that… I suppose I hadn't realized just how much impact what we did could have on her family."

"It could have destroyed it," Charlie said.

Ryou nodded. "I'm not a home wrecker. Cheap thrills aren't worth destroying a family over. On a logical level I knew that could happen, but it hadn't really sunk in until I saw them there." He sighed, rubbing Sophia on the back. "I have no idea what she said to them, but I don't think they said anything to George. He never acted like he knew anything had ever gone on, at least. You should know how vocal he is about things like that in regards to his wife."

"Why did you think it would have been better if George had been the one to catch you?" Charlie asked, dragging another chair over and sitting across from Ryou. He held out Sophia's stuffed rabbit, which the baby reached out for.

Ryou chuckled humorlessly. "Because then it would have been in the open. It wouldn't have been some 'dirty little secret' to keep from her husband. I could probably tell him something like how I forced myself on her or something. They'd fight, sure, but most of it could be deflected on to me. I don't care what he thinks of me, so it wouldn't matter if he hated me and viewed me as the 'villain'. They could work it out."

Charlie took in a deep breath. "So the next year…"

"I'd made it clear by then that I wasn't going to fool around with her anymore," Ryou said, picking up the stuffed rabbit after Sophia dropped it onto the floor. "She'd just had Caitlin, anyway, so we went to one of those coffee shops to catch up. Did you know that there's a Starbucks on Diagon Alley?"

Charlie nodded, smiling slightly. "There has been for years. They're still incredibly overpriced." He looked at Sophia, who was appearing rather tired. "Why did you have an affair with her for so long if you knew it was wrong?"

"I justified it," Ryou stated. "Part of it was because I knew her, and I knew him, and it was better that she find those thrills with me rather than someone else who didn't understand just what she was looking for. Why did you continue your relationship with Janice for so long?"

"It was convenient," Charlie said, making a confused expression. "But what does that--"

"Sexual gratification," Ryou stated. "Maybe neither of you had been involved with other people, but things continued as long as they had because you both satisfied mutual desires. Things fell apart when the situation changed, and those desires changed."

"Just like the situation changed with you and Tracy," Charlie said in understanding.

Ryou nodded and stood up to take the tired infant to her crib. "If two people use each other for sexual gratification, they're still _using _each other," he said, setting Sophia down with minimal fuss. It was apparent she was too tired to whine about going to bed, as she settled down quickly. He glanced to Charlie briefly before walking to their bedchamber.

Charlie stroked Sophia's cheek gently before following Ryou. "Admit it. You would have been worried if I wasn't jealous of the thought you might have slept with Tracy."

"Is that what you think?" Ryou asked as he unbuttoned his shirt. Stupid professionalism. They were lucky he didn't show up to class drunk. He'd been tempted to do just that on a number of occasions.

Charlie closed the door to their bedchamber, walking over to him. "A little bit of jealousy is a good thing, so long as it doesn't become an issue. It's better than indifference, because it shows that at least _something _is felt." He smirked and wrapped his arms around Ryou.

Ryou glanced down at Charlie's hands, which were working on unzipping his trousers. "You weren't expecting me back tonight," he stated.

"I've learned not to place any expectations on you," Charlie said.

Ryou smiled slightly, closing his eyes. "Did you practice that line in front of a mirror?"

Charlie chuckled as he moved to stand in front of him. "Maybe," he said before pulling down Ryou's trousers and boxers. Instead of getting up, he remained on his knees, holding Ryou's cock in one hand. "Neither of us would still be here if we were using each other."

"True," Ryou agreed as he undid the last button of his shirt. "Nor would things have gone as far as they--" He went silent as Charlie took him into his mouth, licking and caressing him until he was hard.

Ryou moaned as Charlie moved his mouth in time with his hand. He knew that Charlie didn't have much experience with _giving _head, but plenty of experience receiving it had-- Bloody hell.

"Charlie," Ryou tried to warn, moments before sneezing. The sensation of having certain parts suddenly invert to become other parts was always disconcerting, but for it to happen at such a time was more than a bit bothersome.

Charlie blinked and looked up. "That… was odd," he quipped.

Ryou glared at him briefly before she picked up her boxers and walked to the bed. "I've got class first thing tomorrow. 'Night."

Charlie sighed as he got up and followed her to the bed. "Well, I guess that answers the question of 'what happens if you sneeze while fooling around with someone'," he said. At the look she shot him, he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "You have to admit, that was a bit funny."

"I fail to see the humor," she said dryly.

"Ryou…" He stopped her at the side of the bed, placing his arms around her again. "Do you trust me?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Yes, but--"

"Lie down," he said, gesturing to the bed. She shot him a bewildered look briefly before climbing onto the bed like he instructed. He followed her onto the bed, taking the boxers from her and tossing them onto the floor. He lowered himself down her body, prying her legs apart with his hands. "It doesn't hurt to finish what we started."

Before she could ask him what he meant by that, his head was between her legs, and his tongue moving along her clit. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. He had never done this to her before, although she'd never really given him the chance to. She didn't like taking her female form gratuitously, and had only had sex with him one time while in her female form. This, though… He was no amateur.

Ryou's breathing went ragged as Charlie continued to lick at her, occasionally sucking or nipping gently at her clit. She felt him slowly insert a finger into her opening as he continued his expert ministrations with his mouth. She let out a moan as she felt her climax approaching. She had never seen the point in wanking while in female form before, nor had she orgasmed the one time she had slept with Charlie while in female form, so could honestly say that she never had an orgasm while in female form. Her experience with the female orgasm was limited, and she never had understood just why the females she did have experience with tended to be so loud. Moans, groans, and grunts were acceptable noises, but screams were baffling.

Charlie inserted a second finger inside her, moving it around as he sucked on her clit. Ryou fisted the sheets on the bed as she felt the pressure rapidly building within her. Before she could restrain herself, she let out a loud cry as her orgasm hit. She was still lost in the throes of her climax by the time she noticed that Charlie had moved so that he was on top of her, his pajama pants pulled off and somewhere that she couldn't see.

"Only if you want to," he murmured.

She glared at him half-heartedly. While she should be satisfied with what they'd done so far, her loins ached for more. "If you don't, I swear that once I turn back, I will pound you into the mattress so hard your arse will be sore for a month."

Charlie chuckled. "You were planning on doing that anyway."

"Without lube."

Charlie quirked an eyebrow briefly before plunging inside her, stilling himself once his cock was sheathed in her.

Ryou hissed as her inner walls stretched and adjusted to his girth. It didn't hurt like their first time together had, but there was still a bit of pain involved. Once she thought that she was properly adjusted to the intrusion, she bucked her hips against his to proceed.

The sensation of having him inside her was quite odd. She would normally be the one inside him, although there had been the rare instance where she had allowed him to stick his dick up her arse. Those times were few, however, and felt a bit uncomfortable. As Charlie continued to thrust inside her, she decided that in the rare occasion where she felt the need for him to stick his cock inside her, she would much rather it be while she was in female form simply because it was far more comfortable and felt so good.

She gasped as he drove himself into spot that felt really good. "Right there," she murmured, running her hands down his shoulders. She moaned with pleasure as his thrusts continued to hit the spot.

"You like that?" Charlie thrust into her harder, and he moved a hand between them to finger her swollen clit. "Want me to go faster?"

Ryou barely nodded, finding herself overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure she was feeling. It wasn't long before she was crying out as another orgasm ripped through her body. She dug her nails into Charlie's shoulder blades as she clung on to him.

"Ryou…" Charlie murmured before making a sound like a strangled groan and following her into climax. She could feel his hot seed pump into her as he thrust into her frantically. The senses of a demon were far more acute than a human's, and hers were especially acute when it came to temperature. While a human might not be able to feel it, even if he'd made no other audible or physical indication, she would have been able to detect the moment he released his ejaculate inside her. She found the hot flow to be quite stimulating in its own way.

He remained on top of her for a few minutes after they'd come down from their climaxes and their movements stilled. Charlie's breathing was still labored with exertion when he wiped a strand of hair off Ryou's sweat-soaked forehead. "I love you," he said before withdrawing his softened cock out of her and moving off of her.

Ryou closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel his semen trickling down onto the sheets, along with beads of their sweat. "I'm not saying it."

"I don't expect you to," Charlie replied.

"Good," Ryou said. "Because I'm still not saying it."

Charlie chuckled. He reached over to the nightstand, where his wand was laying atop it. "'Night, Ryou," he said before flicking off the lights.

She grunted in reply as she closed her eyes. Sure enough, it wasn't long before she felt Charlie next to her, pulling her into his arms. She could have snapped at him, and usually would have, but decided to let it slide this once. After all, even if no words were spoken, he knew her too well.


	41. Bonus Story 3: Frayed Along the Edges

**Author Note**: This story is somewhat of a companion piece to 'Strings Attached'. It includes some things I originally planned to mention, but didn't make the final draft. Specifically, a certain pairing and the offspring of another character were planned, but didn't quite get a mention at the end of 'Strings Attached' like I'd wanted. And for those who are American (like myself), the legal age of consent in England is sixteen.

--- --- ---

**Frayed Along the Edges**

[_**June 2015**_]

"Dad, you are being so unfair!" Jessica whined as she stood by her father's desk, where he was trying to design the prototype of one of his lame inventions. There had once been a point where she thought his joke products were the greatest thing in the world, but that was before she became a mature woman of sixteen and realized just how uncool parents really were. Like now. "I don't see why you won't let me go out and catch up on what all I missed at school!"

Fred Weasley sighed and rubbed his temples. "Jess, your mother wants us all to sit down as a family and enjoy a nice family dinner. We haven't seen you in months, and we'd like the chance to catch up and find out how your year went."

"Then ask Kyle!" she protested. "He was there, too, and I'm sure he'd be more than willing to rat out all the things everyone did! I just want to go out and catch a movie, maybe check the record stores to see what's cool and what sucks, and talk to Karin about fighting demons."

"And that's why I don't want you wandering the streets on your own," her father tried to reason, although she thought he was being most unreasonable. "If you were caught by some demon--"

"I would blast their arse back to whatever sewer they crawled out from," Jessica interrupted. "I've been using my spirit energy since I was in diapers, dad. I don't know how many times you've told me the story about how you ended up in St. Mungo's with first degree burns on your buttocks after you decided to dress up as Santa and I got scared of the 'big bad intruder'. I can take care of myself, and I'm not stupid enough to look for a fight. I just want to talk to Karin about maybe becoming the Underworld Detective. You did it when you were my age."

"No, I didn't," Fred denied. "I was a good four years older than you are when I worked for them."

"Come on, dad," she pleaded. "I won't be out that late, and I didn't do anything worth being grounded over. And you guys never did anything to celebrate me becoming captain of the Quidditch team, but gave Kyle a toad when he made prefect."

"We gave you the new broom you asked for," he replied. "And what was this I heard about you trying to get his toad to hatch a chicken egg?"

Jessica shrugged. "Chloe thought we should hatch a basilisk. We'd heard about the one that had been there in your time. We wouldn't set it out on anyone who didn't deserve it, though. Just a bunch of know-it-all Hufflepuffs that've been bugging us. Please, dad? I heard you were cool once. Prove it and let me go out tonight?"

Fred sighed, and it was obvious he relented when he nodded his head. "When do you plan to be back?"

"Four in the morning sounds good," Jessica said, trying to stop herself from smiling over getting her way.

"Absolutely not," he said firmly. "That is way too late for a girl your age to be out. Nine."

"Nine?!" she shrieked. "I'm not eight, dad! Other kids my age get to stay out way later than that, and nothing interesting even happens until after dark anyway!"

"I don't want you out after dark, and I really don't care how late other kids get to stay out," he said. "I don't want you out any time after midnight, and--"

"Midnight it is," Jessica said, quickly moving to the door. "Thanks, dad!"

Fred blinked. "Now, wait a minute! That's not what I--"

Jessica let the door close behind her as she joyfully skipped out of her father's study. She wondered if Chloe would be able to escape from her wardens, but figured that was highly unlikely. Chloe's sexual experimentation with Logan Montague had exploded on them in a big way, and now they dealing with the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy. Chloe was due next month, and to say that Uncle George and Aunt Tracy were not happy with their oldest daughter was a massive understatement. Jessica wouldn't be surprised if they pulled her out of Hogwarts and shipped her off to a nunnery.

Jessica chuckled to herself. 'Nunnery' was such a funny word. She'd have to use it more often. Not around Chloe, though, as she hadn't been happy about being replaced by some talentless second year on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Jessica wasn't too happy, either, as they'd suffered one of their most humiliating losses in years after Burke had hit a Bludger and knocked out their Keeper. And then the little berk flew into their Seeker, which left their goal posts wide open and no one to catch the Snitch. The snooty Hufflepuffs were still on about their 'illustrious victory over the moronic Gryffindors'. She was just glad her parents didn't know just how bad she'd hexed some of them on the train home, because they never would let her leave the house if they knew.

"Bye, mum!" she called as she bounded downstairs toward the front door. "I'll see you later!"

"Where do you think you're going?" her mother called back from where she was trying to set the kitchen on fire. Jessica was glad that she was going out instead of being forced to endure her mum's sorry attempt at cooking.

"Out," Jessica called back. "Dad said it's all right! Love you!" She didn't even give her mother time to protest before making her exit. She wanted to get out of there before Kyle had the chance to open his big mouth and get her into trouble. Ever since he was appointed prefect, he strutted around like a pompous jackass. She'd heard stories about how Uncle Percy used to act when he was that age, but doubted that even he acted as uptight as Kyle. Not when Uncle Percy egged their house every Halloween, at least. Her parents didn't seem to realize it was him, but she'd helped him string toilet paper up in the trees when she was ten and saw what he was doing. He also egged Uncle George's house every Halloween, and she was pretty sure he was the one responsible for leaving a flaming bag of dog poo on Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry's doorstep that one time. She couldn't picture Kyle doing something like that. Ever.

She quickly ran down the street, not wanting to give her parents time to chase after her. They didn't live all that far away from Diagon Alley, which she had no intention of going to, but that also meant they didn't live that far away from more interesting places. She figured that she could always check out the stores later, because she really did want to talk to Karin about becoming the Underworld Detective.

Professor Longbottom had tried to explain that 'Underworld Detective' wasn't a very good career choice when they went over her options before taking her OWLs. Fighting demons was what she was born to do, and she tried to explain it to him. Her parents would never have gotten together if her father hadn't been the Underworld Detective. Primarily because he was dead, and working for the Underworld was a condition for him coming back to life. It wasn't like she never faced demons before, either, as some would sneak into Hogsmeade every now and then. She was doing really well in Ryou's class, where they learned how to use their spirit energy and to recognize various kinds of demons. It was one of the few classes where she bothered to pay attention, and she was actually learning things she hadn't already known, which was a rather pleasant surprise. That it was funny to drop sneezing powder around Ryou was just an added bonus.

She slowed her gait down to a walk after turning the corner. She was safe enough from her parents, and had all night to get her business done. There was no point in running around like she was being chased. Cops took notice of things like that, and she'd rather not be arrested for something she didn't do. Misunderstanding or not, that would likely get her grounded for the rest of the summer.

It only took her about a half hour or so before she arrived at the Tantei Detective Agency. She'd received an invitation to the upcoming wedding between Uncle Percy and Karin, and was glad they were holding it over the winter holidays, but hoped they would not expect her to wear some ghastly dress robes that seemed to be customary at such functions. She didn't mind wearing skirts -- she was wearing a short black skirt that really made her legs look quite shapely in her opinion -- but seeing what some people wore at weddings made her shudder.

When she walked in, Karin was packing the contents of one of her desk drawers while Lucy was leafing through the pages of a bridal magazine and Molly was doing an impression of a gruff television detective over the phone. Karin glanced up at her and smiled weakly before turning back to her packing. "Can I help you?" Karin asked.

Jessica walked up to her desk and sat down in a free chair. "I want to be the Underworld Detective. I know you promised my parents you wouldn't try to recruit me, but I'm ready."

Karin sighed and closed the drawer. "As I told you last summer when you asked, the Underworld already has a detective."

"Still?" Jessica sighed and slumped down unladylike in her chair. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Packing," Karin said. "Lord Koenma wanted me to go back to the Underworld. I told him I'd rather stay here. So I have to clear my things out before my replacement gets here."

Jessica nodded thoughtfully. It sounded like she was in the same boat of having other people unfairly telling her what to do. "So I should speak with your replacement whenever they get here?"

"I'm still the official liaison with the Underworld for now," Karin said shortly. "Until the current detective quits or vacates the position for whatever reason, there simply isn't a need for another."

"I just want the facts, lady," Molly said gruffly over the phone. "Where was your dog when the tree ate it? I know you're a man, lady! I'm asking the questions here!"

Jessica glanced to Molly briefly before turning back to Karin. "Percy at work?"

Karin nodded. "Having them here with me during the day works out for all of us. It gives me time to spend time with them and get to know them, and it's better than dropping them off at a babysitter."

"Do you think I can marry Truckasaurus when I grow up?" Lucy asked, glancing up.

Karin made a thoughtful face before shaking her head. "Probably not. Truckasaurus is a modified semi-truck that spits fire, and exists solely to wreak carnage on other vehicles. I just don't think it would work out."

"You could fire the current detective, right?" Jessica asked. "And then I could become the Underworld Detective."

Karin shook her head. "Jude does a really good job at what he does. His attitude may leave a lot to be desired, but there's no grounds to fire him. You'll either have to wait until he quits, or if you really want to fight demons, I suppose you could always ask him about a partnership." Her wristwatch beeped and she glanced down at it. "It's almost time to meet your dad at work, girls. Shall we get ready to go?"

"Can we go out to eat tonight?" Lucy asked excitedly.

"No more pizza!" Molly protested, hanging up the phone mid-conversation. "I have to watch what I eat if I'm going to get in shape enough to make the Quidditch team when I go to Hogwarts!" She looked to Jessica. "If I'm in your house, will you let me on the team?"

Jessica shrugged. "Well, you'll be a firstie when I'm in my seventh year, so wouldn't be allowed your own broom. That won't stop you from trying out, though. Just make sure you're in Gryffindor, because that's the best house. Ravenclaws are a bunch of pretentious emos, Slytherins are a bunch of weirdoes, and Hufflepuffs are jerks. Isabel Hopkins is the worst of the lot, but they've all got this one-mind mentality. Like the Borg on Star Trek."

"Resistance is futile!" Molly giggled.

"I think we've let her watch a bit too much television," Karin said apologetically as she ushered the girls to the doorway. "We can talk more about this tomorrow if you want, but we really do need to be heading out now."

Jessica nodded. "Sure. No problem." She watched Karin leave with her future stepdaughters, and walked over to the file cabinet after the door closed behind them. It was doubtful that Karin would be taking any files on the personnel of the agency with her, as her replacement would surely need them. But like most other businesses, there should be a personnel file.

It wasn't that hard to pick the lock of the filing cabinet. Her search would be easier if she knew the last name of the current Underworld Detective, but it should be found easily enough on old case files he might have solved.

It didn't take long before she found the full name of the current detective, and then it was just a matter of finding where the personnel files were kept. She glanced at the door warily every now and then, but nobody came in to interrupt her search. After about fifteen minutes, she located the personnel files in the bottom drawer.

Jessica smiled to herself as she drew out the file of Jude Clarke. Walking to Karin's desk, she grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen to begin copying down the information.

--- --- ---

As she approached the apartment complex that Jude the Usurper lived in, she couldn't help but feel that the building should be condemned. The walls were heavily graffitied, and she could even see a few broken windows. The inside wasn't much better. The paint was peeling on the walls, and more inscriptions were scrawled on them. There place also reeked of stale beer and cigarettes, and she was pretty sure she saw a rat or something scurry into a hole by one corner.

Jessica scrunched her nose in distaste as she knocked on the door to Jude's flat. She didn't understand why anyone would choose to live in a place like this. Surely there would be better housing for those on low incomes, if that was even the reason why he lived there. Whatever his financial status was, however, she was told enough stories about how her father grew up poor to know not to turn her nose up at those less fortunate. She refused to pity Jude's living conditions, though, as he had stolen her rightful position from her.

The door opened, and she drew in a breath as she saw Jude for the first time. He was wearing a pair of boxer shorts and a stained white t-shirt. His dyed purple hair and eyebrow piercing gave him a rather unconventional appearance, but she supposed that if one ignored the strangeness, he was rather attractive. His muscular frame was certainly attractive. "Yeah?" he answered, leaning against the doorframe and raising the beer bottle he held to take a drink. "What d'ya want?"

"Are you Jude?" Jessica asked, bringing herself back to reality. It didn't matter what he looked like, he was her rival for her rightful position as Underworld Detective.

He stared at her with eyes far too blue to be legal. After a few seconds, he leaned past her to peer down the hallway. "Look, if Amanda sent you, just scarper on home. I don't got no money, and even if I did I wouldn't give any to her. There's absolutely no way I'm the father of that ugly baby of hers. You can tell her that I'll take a paternity test if she pays for it, but I'm not supporting a kid that's not mine. Oh, and I'll laugh in her face when the test tells her the same thing I've been saying all along."

"Who's Amanda?" Jessica asked before shaking her head. "Never mind. That's not why I'm here. We need to talk. Can I come in?"

Jude shrugged and moved aside enough to let her in. "Yeah, sure." Jessica walked into his sparsely decorated flat, and he closed the door behind her. "You want a beer?" he asked, walking over to a small kitchen.

"Sure," Jessica accepted. Nobody had ever offered her a beer before, which was hardly surprising since she was only sixteen. Her mother would ground her for the rest of summer if she ever found out she'd been drinking, but she didn't plan to let her mother find out. She caught the bottle he tossed her, using her Reiki to fortify her thumb as she flicked off the bottle cap. It landed on top of the overflowing garbage bin by the kitchen.

"Nice shot," Jude complimented. "You're a user too, I take it."

"A user?" she questioned, taking a sip of the beer. She almost choked at the bitter taste, but was determined not to show any outward reaction.

He smirked. "Of the whole spirit power whatnot. You scan clean, so I'm guessing you're like me and not one of the norms out there."

Jessica nodded. "I'm going to get right to the point. My father was the Underworld Detective before you. I should be the Underworld Detective right now, but I'm not. When I asked about it, I was told that you stole the position from me. I want you to quit."

He looked at her with amusement before walking over to a rundown-looking armchair; the only furniture in the living room (unless the stand the television was on counted, which it didn't). "Why should I quit?"

"Because I said so," she replied, inwardly cringing at how stupid that sounded. It was what her parents said to her and her siblings when trying to get them to do something they themselves didn't want to do, like eating her mother's cooking.

Jude shook his head. "Not really compelled, no. Why don't you sit down?"

Jessica glanced around the room, trying to see if there was anywhere else to sit. The floor was covered with litter and other debris, not to mention some odd stains. Unless she sat on top of the television set, there wasn't anywhere to sit. "Where?"

He smirked and took a swig of his beer. "I've been told my lap's quite comfortable." At her shocked look, he chuckled. "I don't bite unless you want me to."

Jessica contemplated him for a few moments before smirking. She couldn't tell whether he was bluffing or not, but in any case he had issued out a challenge. She hadn't gained her position as captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team by refusing challenges. She hadn't earned her own filing cabinet in Filch's office by backing down from challenges. She hadn't single-handedly broken the record of her father and Uncle George for 'most detentions in one term' by declining challenges. "What, you don't have a couch?" she asked as she walked over to him, following his suggestion of sitting down in his lap.

Jude looked surprised as she sat down, but chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist to help her keep her balance easier. "Sure I do," he replied. "It's in the bedroom. Got tired of sleeping on the floor, and it _is _one of those hide-a-beds. Wanting to see it, are you?"

She smiled enigmatically and took another drink of her beer. It didn't go down as bad as her first sip did, but she knew she wouldn't be drinking the beverage much in the future. "I've been using my spirit energy since I was a kid," she said. "I've already faced a couple of demons." She decided it was best not to mention that she was related to a few demons, as that probably wouldn't help her case any.

"I've faced more'n a couple," he countered. "Still not quitting."

She scowled at him. "Why not? If you quit and let me become the Underworld Detective, you can go back to a normal life! Or whatever passes as normal for you."

He shook his head, smirking. "I like working as the Underworld Detective. Gives me the chance to meet interesting folk. Not to mention how grateful the birds are when you save their life. I've gotten into more knickers saving lives than I ever have playing gigs at some godforsaken club somewhere. Groupies just don't put out like they used to."

Jessica glared sullenly at him for a few moments. It was time for a change of tactics. Maybe if she challenged him to a fight, she could prove that she was worthier of the position. "If you think for one moment that I'm going to just let you steal the position that should be mine, you have another thing coming. I didn't want to resort to this, but I'll fight you if I have to. Whichever one of us wins takes the title of Underworld Detective."

Jude quirked an eyebrow. "I'm not gonna fight you. You might not be one of them norms, but you're still a bird. And I don't fight birds, I fuck them."

Jessica just shook her head and downed more of her beer. "And I suppose that if I let you fuck me, you'd quit so I could be the Underworld Detective?" she asked sarcastically.

Jude shook his head and finished the rest of his beer. "Doesn't work like that, sweets. I like my work, and I'm not quitting on account of just one bird. I don't care if you're the best lay I'll ever have. It's bloody extortion, it is." He dropped his empty beer bottle to the floor, where it made a clinking sound before rolling under the chair.

She frowned. "What will it take?" she asked. "I know you can't be completely unreasonable, so what will it take to convince you to quit?"

He looked at her for a few moments before shaking his head. "I was _chosen _for this. I'd say I'm sorry that you weren't, but I'm really not. Take it up with the Underworld."

"I already have," she grumbled. "I was told to talk to you."

"Don't know what to tell you then," he said. "Look, er… What's your name?"

"Jessica," she replied.

"Look, Jessica, fighting demons is something I like doing. This town's not so small that we can't both fight demons. It'd just be that I'd be the official Underworld Detective, and you'd be unofficial," he tried to reason. "I don't see why you'd want to work for the Underworld, anyway. Too many rules to follow, like 'not fraternizing with the enemy' or some rot like that. Just because I might have caused one little incident by sleeping with one demon lord's wife…"

She sighed, hanging her head in defeat. It was obvious that he wasn't about to quit. She remained silent in thought for a minute, trying to think. When no ideas came to mind, she drank a bit more of her beer. She wouldn't say that she was feeling quite light-headed, but the alcohol was making her feel a bit less heavy than usual. Even though that made little sense in her mind.

She had finished more than half her beer by the time the idea came to her. "What about partners? Maybe I could work as your partner."

He looked at her skeptically. "I work best alone. 'Sides, if I go to a pub with some bird, other birds aren't as likely to want to go home with me, now are they? 'Course, some are into the whole threesome deal, but I don't think that's quite what you have in mind."

"Can you get your mind out of the gutter for just five minutes?" she demanded. She set her beer bottle on the floor and turned back to face him. "I'm being serious!"

"So am I," he responded. "I'm not interested in someone who's just going to end up cramping my style."

She glowered at him for a few moments. "'Cramping your style'?" she muttered. "What makes you think I'd be 'cramping your style'?"

"Told you already," he said. "Would you go home with a bloke who already had a bird with him? And all your squirming's causing a bit of a reaction, if you catch my drift."

Jessica paused, not realizing that she had been squirming in his lap. She supposed that her moving around constituted as squirming, though. She blushed as she realized just what kind of reaction she was getting. "Maybe we can work something out," she said as an idea popped into her mind.

"Yeah?" Jude quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "Like what?"

Jessica hesitated for a moment before answering his question him by leaning into him for a kiss. While she was angry that he was refusing to listen to reason, he was rather attractive and she was rather curious about a number of things. From the way her cousin Chloe spoke, sex was something even more incredible than getting a free double chocolate chip ice cream sundae from the ice cream shop on Diagon Alley. Not that she expected things to go that far, but if he wanted to go that far, she was willing to go all the way. Especially if there was a chance he might listen to reason if she did so.

Jude kissed well. She wasn't used to kissing with tongues, but he wasn't as sloppy as the boys she'd kissed previously. Even the way he groped her breasts wasn't the clumsy and painful effort she was used to. She felt her face heat up as she boldly moved one of her hands down to grab his crotch.

Jude pulled back. "What are you doing?" he asked huskily.

"Obvious, isn't it?" she retorted, gathering her courage to massage his balls through the fabric of his boxer shorts. "Becoming partners works to both our benefits." She could feel his cock twitch under her hand, and she smiled sweetly at him. "Don't you think?"

He took in a deep breath. "I think you better be serious about this."

Jessica smiled and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "Show me your bedroom."

He looked at her for a few moments, but nodded and led her down a short hall into another sparsely furnished room. This one was a lot cleaner, although the sheets on the hide-a-bed's mattress were rather rumpled.

Jessica felt her heart pounding in her rib cage as they kissed again. He was supposed to be the enemy, but he was really a good kisser. She felt a bit self-conscious as he undressed her, knowing he'd probably been with girls much prettier than her. He didn't say anything of the sort, though, helping with her self-consciousness by lavishing both of her breasts with plenty of attention. She moaned with pleasure as he fingered her. It felt so much better to have someone else's fingers inside her rather than her own, but it left her wanting more.

After she peeled his boxer shorts off him, she moved her hand along the length of his penis. She'd never seen one in person before (younger brothers and cousins did not count), and had certainly never felt one. The texture was a bit odd, but not unpleasant. She wondered just how much it would hurt to have him in her, as his cock was much larger than her fingers, both in length and girth.

She had come this far, though, and was not backing down now. "Please," she begged, stroking him more rapidly. She enjoyed hearing the sounds he made as she stimulated him. It made her feel like she wasn't some inexperienced child playing at being a grown-up.

He pulled his fingers out of her and grabbed her wrist. "You'll need to stop if you want me to continue," he murmured. He gently shifted them so she was lying down on the bed, legs spread apart. He moved so he was on top of her, aligning the head of his penis with her opening. "You ready?" he asked.

Jessica nodded, and he thrust forward. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly at the pain of the intrusion. So much for not being an inexperienced child. It felt like she was being split in two, and he wasn't even halfway in her. She bit her lip to try to stop herself from crying out, but was unable to prevent herself from doing so.

Jude paused, looking at her questioningly. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"It hurts," she somehow managed to say through the pain.

"You're a cherry?" After she nodded, he asked, "Do you want to stop?"

Jessica shook her head. She knew it would hurt just as much the next time she tried this, and she was determined to go through with it now that she'd come this far. "Don't stop," she whispered.

She was surprised at how gentle Jude was after that. He gave her time to adjust to the feel of him inside her, only proceeding when she let him know she was ready. He made sure to stimulate her clitoris with one hand as he slowly thrust within her. The pleasure she felt from that helped to block out the majority of the receding pain, and eventually she felt only pleasure. Chloe had told her that it was rare for girls to orgasm during their first time having sex, but Jude seemed determined to prove her wrong.

Jessica wasn't sure of how much time had passed since he first entered her, but the combination of him hitting just the right spot inside her as well as his stimulation of her sensitive nub caused her to cry out as a wave of intense pleasure washed over her. She held onto him tightly, feeling her toes curl as she experienced her very first orgasm. Jude chuckled and kissed her as he continued to thrust inside her. It didn't take long after that for him to follow her into his own orgasm, filling her with his seed.

Afterwards, she sat next to him in bed, her mind still reeling over just what happened. When she'd gone to his flat, she never expected that she would end up having sex with Jude. She didn't regret it, although she did worry a bit over their lack of any form of protection. Her cousin Chloe was due to deliver her baby next month, so she felt she had every right to be worried.

"Smoke?" Jude offered, holding out a pack of cigarettes.

Jessica shook her head. It was bad enough she'd been drinking, but she didn't want to tempt fate by smoking as well. "My parents would smell it on me."

Jude paused from pulling out a cigarette and glanced to her. "Your parents?" He looked her over with a scrutinizing expression on his face. "How old are you?" he asked cautiously.

"Sixteen," she answered.

"Sixteen?" he repeated, glancing to her. "Fuck, you're just a kid. I thought you was older than that. You look like you're nineteen or something. Should have figured something was off with you being a cherry and all."

"I'm legal," Jessica protested. "And I'm not a kid."

"Maybe so, but I doubt your parents would be pleased if they found out I popped your cherry. They'd have something to say to me, like how a bloke of twenty-one should know better than to defile their little girl."

"I'm not going to tell them!" she exclaimed, and she truthfully had no plans to do so. If her parents ever found out she'd gone out and had sex with someone, she would never be allowed out of the house. "I just… Are you sure you won't reconsider the 'partners' thing?"

He contemplated her for a few long moments before pulling out a cigarette. "You're one of them spell casters, right? Picked it up on the scan."

"I can't use magic outside of school until I'm seventeen, but I am a witch," she said.

Jude nodded and lit up the cigarette, taking a deep drag off it. "I haven't slept with no sixteen year olds since I was 'round that age," he mused out loud.

Jessica watched him for a few moments before reaching over and taking the cigarette from him. He looked at her in surprise as she took a drag off it. She had expected to cough and choke at her first attempt at smoking, but surprisingly did not. After taking a couple more drags off it, she handed it back to him and shifted so she was closer to him. "So what do you say? Partners?"

Jude's eyes widened slightly as she placed a hand on his thigh. "Insatiable, are you? I suppose I could let you. Just don't cramp by style."

Jessica smiled as he put his cigarette out in the ashtray next to the bed. She climbed on top of him, kissing him once more. Things might not have worked out like she initially wanted, but maybe they might have worked out in a way that was better.

--- --- ---

[_**August 2015**_]

Jessica wished the summer didn't have to end. She'd had a lot of fun fighting demons and fussing over Chloe's adorable baby girl Bethany. While Uncle George and Aunt Tracy were not happy to become grandparents quite so soon, they still welcomed the newest addition with open arms, and planned to raise little Bethany while Chloe got her act together by finishing school and finding herself a job. There were demons in Hogsmeade, though, and she knew Uncle George or Aunt Tracy would come by Hogwarts with Bethany every now and then for a visit. That wasn't all she would miss, though.

"Will you write to me?" she asked as she laid next to Jude in bed, draping an arm over him. They had celebrated their successful capture of a demon wanted for arson by going back to his flat and having mind-blowing sex, as had become their custom since he agreed to take her on as his partner.

"No," he replied honestly, puffing on his cigarette. "Don't expect me to remain faithful, either."

She looked over to him, trying to keep the hurt out of her eyes. "What? Why?"

"Demons won't take a break and be on their best behavior just 'cause you're in school," he stated. "After dealing with demons, I like a good shag to get rid of the excess energy."

Jessica bit her lip to prevent it from quivering. "So… What is this we have?" she asked, unable to keep her voice from cracking a little.

Jude opened his eyes and looked to her. "Sex, mainly. A bit of the good-ole joint kicking of demon arse while we're at it." He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and moved to place an arm around her, drawing her closer to him. "You knew from the get go that's all this was. No point in tearing up about it, sweets."

Jessica sniffed, trying to wipe away the tears forming in her eyes. "I just… I don't know… I guess I was hoping I was something more than just a fling."

Jude contemplated her for a few moments before kissing her on the forehead. "I'm not the kind of bloke you want to be with, sweets. I can't blame you for being with me, because I am bloody fantastic in bed. I'm not a one-woman kind of bloke, though, so you might as well find someone else if that's what you're after."

"But what about all those times you came back here with me instead of someone else?" she whined.

"Just means you were right there and wanting it," he replied. "Didn't have to put out no effort to get into your knickers. Doesn't mean I haven't dipped my wick in no one else when you wasn't around. Just last week, there was this brunette I met at the pub who wanted it hard and fast up against the alley wall."

Jessica shook her head, not wanting to hear it. She knew before ever sleeping with him that he wasn't a prince charming kind of guy. He openly talked of past conquests, which made her wonder now if he would talk about her the same way. 'There was this red-haired bird, bit on the young side but _very _eager…' But even knowing his shortcomings didn't make it hurt any less. "I don't want you to, though," she muttered sullenly.

"You'll be gone 'till next June, yeah?" he asked. "That's a long time to ask a bloke to go without getting any."

Jessica just shook her head again. Sniffing, she got up and started to gather her clothes to dress. "You're such a bastard," she exclaimed.

"Oi," he got up and wrapped his strong arms around her. "You can't expect a bloke to change who he is just because you want him to. You're a sweet girl, Jessica. You could do much better than a bloke like me. Don't waste your time trying to change me into someone I'm not."

Jessica turned around to glare at him. She hated how he had no qualms about sleeping around, even if she already figured he would probably be doing that. She wanted more from him, because she was supposed to be his _partner_. He didn't need to be with any other slags when he could be with her. A partner was someone that one was supposed to rely on and put their trust in, or at least that was how it was supposed to work. Instead of saying anything, as no words would come out, she kissed him fiercely, abandoning her search for clothes.

She rode him hard, taking a vindictive pleasure in making him cry out a few times. Whether it was from pleasure or pain didn't matter. Rough as she tried to be with him, he had no problem with matching her roughness. It wasn't long before she was calling out his name as she rode the wave of her orgasm. While she would have preferred not to lose that control, that he chanted her name as he spilled into her was something she considered a slight victory. He rarely seemed to truly lose control while they had sex, so seeing him lose some of his normal restraint was something.

"Bloody hell," Jude muttered after he had collapsed back onto the bed and she'd dismounted. "I should cheese you off more often."

Jessica didn't even spare him a glance as she quickly pulled her clothes back on. "I'm sure you'll have no problem finding some bimbo to oblige you." Willing herself not to cry, she made sure she hadn't forgotten any of her clothes before getting up and walking to the door. "Asshole." She slammed the door behind her as she left.

She couldn't even remember much about her walk home. She must have lost herself in her thoughts somewhere along the way to her house, because she was standing on her front porch before it even registered in her mind. She was back earlier than usual, as it was only dusk. Nowhere near her midnight curfew. She still didn't want to deal with her parents or nosy siblings.

"Jessica?" her mother asked with concern as she noticed her return. "Are you all right?"

Jessica just shook her head and ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. It wasn't until she entered her room, slamming the door behind her, that she finally allowed the tears to come. Throwing herself facedown on her bed, she let her pillow muffle the sounds of her sobbing.

--- --- ---

[_**September 2015**_]

Jessica didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed when she started her period. She knew she should feel relieved, because it meant she wasn't pregnant. She'd never used any form of protection when sleeping with Jude, even though she knew that was an incredibly reckless thing to do. She and many other members of her family had been conceived due to a lack of using protection. On the other hand, she felt a bit disappointed at the same time, as a pregnancy -- no matter how ill timed and poorly planned -- would have been something to give Jude pause at least. Or she hoped it would. She vaguely remembered when they first met and how he accused her of being sent by a slag named Amanda for something having to do with a baby he may or may not have fathered. She wondered whether he would deny paternity if she had been pregnant.

Every day she waited in anticipation as the owls delivered the morning post during breakfast in the Great Hall. Even though Jude said he wouldn't write to her, she still held out hope that maybe he had changed his mind. But every day that passed without word from him just drove it in further that he was probably enjoying himself with shagging some slag while she clung onto false hope for something that would never be.

"Jessica?" her uncle Charlie interrupted her thoughts toward the end Charms class one day in late September. She admittedly should have been paying more attention, but she didn't think she was capable of focusing on much of anything. Jude still weighed heavily on her mind, and the menstrual cramps she was experiencing was just the icing on the poison cake. "Can we talk after class?"

Jessica nodded mutely. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone, because nobody would understand. Not even Chloe. The only boy Chloe had ever been with was Logan, who was obviously in love with her and would do anything she asked. At least, Jessica was sure that he was the only boy she'd ever been with. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Chloe. In any case, Chloe spent most of her time in detention or working extra hard on sorting out the mess she'd made her life into.

No, Jessica didn't think Uncle Charlie would understand at all. As far as uncles went, he was pretty cool, but he was still her father's older brother, and the idea of anyone around her father's age knowing anything about sex was just gross. She liked to delude herself into believing that she was the result of an immaculate conception.

She waited behind after the rest of the class was dismissed for the day, not saying a word. He was probably going to tell her that he was disappointed in her declining marks and general apathy towards her schoolwork. Or maybe he was going to ask her what was wrong, as far too many nosy people had since Jude broke her heart.

"Who is he?" Charlie asked, starting a pot of tea brewing.

"Who is who?" she responded.

"I've seen that look often enough to know you're upset over some boy," he replied. "Hell, I've probably caused that look enough times. So who is he?"

Jessica shook her head. She couldn't tell him, because he would tell her parents. She would rather suffer in silence than have them know that she wasn't the innocent little girl they thought she was. Well, they hardly thought of her as 'innocent', but she still didn't want to face their disappointment that would follow if they knew she'd been going out to have sex practically all summer long. She was disappointed in herself, as she should have known better than to involve herself with a man like Jude.

Charlie sighed. "Nothing you say will shock me, and it's obvious you have something to say."

"You'll tell them," she muttered softly.

"Nothing leaves this room," he replied. "Whatever happened, I won't repeat a word to anyone."

She contemplated him for a few moments, trying to gauge his seriousness. For most of her life, he worked on a dragon reservation, only really being there at birthdays or other major events. From what she remembered, he was always fun to hang around, and was more inclined to help with a prank than to stop it. Even as a teacher, he was still more likely to look the other way when he saw students up to no good. She'd probably be in detention until she was as old as the headmistress if it weren't for him pretending he never saw her roaming the halls late at night. There was one time when she and Chloe had been carrying a crate marked 'dynamite' down to the third floor. She knew he saw them, but he never said anything, even after they tried to make their own secret passage and ended up destroying a good chunk of the corridor. She supposed he was trustworthy.

"I've been working as the partner for the current Underworld Detective," she started, folding her hands on top of her desk. "He wouldn't quit, so I became his partner. We, er-- We've been sleeping together all summer."

Charlie hid his surprise well as he checked on the tea. "I've heard about him," he said in a neutral tone, not betraying any opinion he might have about Jude.

Jessica nodded. "He said he planned to sleep around while I was here in school, and how he's been sleeping with other slags when I wasn't around." She broke down into tears, setting her head on her desk between her arms. "It's so unfair!"

Charlie walked over to her and set a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Jude Clarke is an unrepentant womanizer, if that's who you're talking about." Jessica nodded, and he sighed. "I used to be like that, so maybe I can help you figure out what's going through his piggish brain."

The corner of Jessica's mouth twitched and she looked up. Piggish certainly described Jude well. Maybe talking to Uncle Charlie was a good idea. "Why would he sleep around when he has me? Am I not good enough for him?" she asked.

Charlie sighed and poured a couple cups of tea. He brought one over to her. "That has nothing to do with it. Speaking from personal experience, I would sleep around and cheat on women because I didn't want to be tied down in a relationship. That's not the only reason, but it was a big part of it. Nobody really interested me enough to want to change. I was having fun, and saw no reason to stop. It wasn't anything personal. I just didn't really connect with anyone. Jude's reasons might be different, but I think it probably boils down to him having fun and not wanting to stop without good reason."

"But you stopped," Jessica pointed out, wiping away a few stray tears.

"That I did," Charlie agreed. "As I got on in years, it became less fun. And then I found someone who I wanted to better myself and change for."

"Ryou," Jessica stated sagely, blowing at her cup of tea to cool it.

He shook his head. "Janice," he said. "It's possible that things might have worked between us if I hadn't fallen in love with Ryou. But she was the one who really opened my eyes. Maybe it was because part of me realized I'd been sleeping around since she was in diapers herself, but I think a bigger part was how we actually connected. If Ryou wasn't in the picture, I could have fallen in love with her eventually, I think. 'Course, her pregnancy came as a huge eye opener. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I would have been able to become the man I am now. I know that Ryou certainly wouldn't have shown the patience he has with me if I was still out there philandering and thinking of nobody but myself."

She took a tentative sip of her tea. It was still quite hot, but drinkable. "It still isn't fair."

"Can I ask you something?" Charlie asked as he took a sip of his own tea. "I don't mean any offense, but why have you been sleeping with him?"

Jessica shrugged. "I dunno. Things just led there, and I wanted to find out what the big deal was. He wouldn't quit as Underworld Detective, so I thought that maybe if I gave him a good reason to let me be his partner…"

Charlie looked at her for a few moments before sighing. "If he wasn't the Underworld Detective, would you even bother with him?"

Jessica paused before shaking her head. "Probably not. I don't really know him all that well, except for him being a stupid pig. I hope his dick falls off."

Charlie nodded. "It sounds like you don't really care about him, either. What he said to you may be a bit cruel, but it was honest. You can't expect someone to care about you if you don't care about them, because that's just as bad. I'm not going to tell your parents any of this, but I would suggest you tell them that you've been sexually active."

She shot him a horrified look. "I can't!"

"Why not?" he replied. "I won't have to worry about it for a number of years, but I know there'll come a time when Sophia will grow up and start experimenting with boys. I'd rather she be upfront about it so I can help her with staying safe from pregnancy or disease. Even if you don't tell your parents, I would suggest getting tested to make sure you don't have any diseases. Jude has a bit of a reputation, and I've been diagnosed and treated for a number of diseases in my time. Even if your parents find out, it's better than letting something go untreated."

Jessica hadn't really thought of that. She had been more worried about pregnancy than any kind of disease. With the way Jude slept around, however, there was a strong chance that he could have caught something and passed it on to her. As much as she didn't want to do anything that had a chance of getting back to her parents, she knew Uncle Charlie was right about that. "I'll keep that in mind," she thanked him before finishing the rest of her tea and getting up.

She was still angry and upset at the way Jude had treated her. It hurt that he didn't have the decency to wait for her and be faithful. But remembering what Uncle Charlie had told her, she wondered if she was holding him to an unfair expectation. She was the one to initiate their liaisons, mainly because she had been afraid he wouldn't want her to be his partner if she didn't somehow show him why he should keep her around. He never claimed to love her or anything, and she didn't love him. She was using him just as much as he was using her. Maybe that was what people were talking about when they said the truth hurts.

She decided it was for the best if she put all thoughts of Jude out of her mind. She was tired of wasting her time and energy crying over him.

--- --- ---

[_**June 2016**_]

Jessica didn't care much for Sera, the ferry girl who had become Karin's replacement as liaison to the Underworld. While Karin had a tendency to be a bit high-strung and uptight at times, she was a consummate professional. Sera, however, was an airhead.

"I think the Underworld already has a detective…" Sera said in her slow drawl, making a face of supreme concentration. Like she had every summer, Jessica had asked if she could become the Underworld's official detective. No sooner had the question come out of her mouth than she regretted it. She could swear she smelled something burning as Sera tried to think. "I'm pretty sure I sent some guy out to arrest some gross looking demon that Lord Koenma said was doing bad things. I forget what the demon was doing exactly, but I could probably look it up for you…"

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Don't bother," she said shortly. "Where did you send him?"

Sera's face scrunched up in concentration. "I don't quite remember… I hope that the guy I sent out was the Underworld Detective and not some poor pizza delivery boy. A few nights ago, I think I might have sent out a delivery boy to face a vicious gorilla demon. I never did get my pizza…"

Jessica shook her head and turned to walk out of the office. Even though she quit working for the Underworld, she hoped that Karin would be allowed to return to man the office of the Tantei Detective Agency. She swore that she could feel herself grow stupider just by being in Sera's presence.

She knew where Jude lived. Over the course of her sixth year, she came to terms with what had happened. She didn't really want to be with him, and it was unfair for her to expect anything from him that she herself couldn't give. That didn't make it any easier.

There was no answer when she knocked on his door, although she could hear noises from inside. Regardless of how rude (or illegal) it might have been, she was enjoying being able to practice magic outside of school, so magically unlocked the door and walked inside. She could see that his television was on, airing some popular cooking show called 'Cooking with Master Chef D'. An annoying first year boy from Hufflepuff named David Dursley liked to brag how his father was the famous chef with his own television show. Not that anyone really liked to listen to him brag. Hufflepuffs were annoying.

If it hadn't been for the fact that the television was on -- and the sounds coming from the bedroom -- Jessica might think nobody was home. She could hear soft moaning coming from the bedroom, though. While she wanted to delude herself into believing that Jude was simply wanking off or something, the moaning sounded feminine in nature. Even though she already knew what she would find, she still walked toward the bedroom.

Jessica stoically stood in the doorway as Jude pumped into some busty blonde bimbo with obvious tan lines. The way the furniture of his bedroom was arranged allowed Jude to glance up and make eye contact with her as he continued to thrust into his current conquest. He stared at Jessica for a few moments before turning his attention to the woman writing beneath him, pumping furiously into her before releasing with a grunt.

Jessica folded her arms across her chest as Jude withdrew from the woman. "I didn't expect you back so soon," he said, reaching over to his nightstand for a pack of cigarettes. "Didn't really expect you back at all."

The woman looked to him in confusion. "What?" She glanced behind her and noticed Jessica. She let out a startled shriek before grabbing for her clothes while trying to cover herself with the sheet. "Who is this?!" she demanded.

Jude shrugged. "My partner," he said as he pulled out a cigarette. "I take it there's an assignment?"

"I'm guessing you weren't sent out to arrest anyone?" Jessica asked.

"Taking my time," Jude replied. "Figured I'd kill some time before you got here." He glanced to the blonde woman. "You can sod off, now."

The woman looked to him in shock. "What? You can't just--"

"I can do whatever I damn well please," Jude interrupted, taking a drag off his cigarette. "My flat, my rules. You've worn out your welcome, so sod off."

The blonde just stared at him in shock for a few moments before putting her clothes on. "You're an unbelievable bastard, you know that?!"

"So I've been told," he muttered. He looked over to Jessica. "While Silicone Barbie over there gets dressed up, would you be a doll and grab me a beer from the cooler? I'm a bit parched."

"You can get it yourself," Jessica replied coolly, not taking her eyes off him. "You might want to get dressed yourself, as there are a number of laws against public nudity."

Jude smirked. "Yeah, I've been arrested for breaking a few of those laws." He set his cigarette down in the ashtray before getting up and walking over to her. "Indecent exposure, lewd conduct… We could break a few of them sometime, I think." He wrapped his arms around her and tried to pull her into a kiss. Jessica turned away from him before their lips met. "What's wrong, sweets?"

Jessica shook her head. "Don't call me that," she said softly. She might have come to terms with how her heart had been broken by him, but that didn't mean she wanted to go over it all over again. She had to be stronger than that.

Jude placed a hand on her cheek and tenderly stroked her face with his thumb. "You're not still mad at me, are you, sweets?"

"We can't do this," she said, closing her eyes. She couldn't look at him, because she didn't want to lose what resolve she had. She didn't care about him, and he didn't really care about her. It was difficult to remember that when he was standing naked right in front of her, their bodies close together and his growing erection pressed up against her stomach. There were just so many memories of having wild and passionate sex in that very room… She had to resist, though. She couldn't let herself be hurt again.

"I thought about writing you," he said, releasing her from his embrace and crossing the room to the ashtray on the nightstand. "Didn't know what to say, and figured you wouldn't want to hear it anyway, so I didn't."

The blonde woman, finished with getting dressed, glared at him before storming to the door. "Fucking asshole," she muttered angrily, rudely pushing past Jessica in her haste to leave.

"Yeah?" he called after her. "Well I've been with blow-up dolls more responsive than you! Made up of less plastic, too!" He shook his head and muttered under his breath, "Stupid bint." He turned to Jessica as the front door opened and slammed shut. "I suppose there's no point in apologizing, right?"

"Not unless you really are sorry," Jessica replied. She glanced him over. "You really might want to get dressed."

Jude smirked and took a drag off his cigarette. "If I said I'm sorry, would you ride me again like last time?"

Jessica took a deep breath. "Sleeping with you was a mistake that I don't want to repeat. You don't care about me, I don't care about you. Let's just keep things at that and work together as partners, all right?"

Jude quirked an eyebrow. "Whatever you say, sweets." He took one last drag off his cigarette before putting it out and grabbing his boxer shorts. "Just one more year of that school of yours to go, yeah?" he asked conversationally as he started to get dressed.

Jessica nodded. "I'm allowed to use magic outside of it now."

He smirked. "I might want to be careful with you, then. You might turn me into a frog or pull a rabbit out of my arse or something."

"Or something…" she replied enigmatically. "If you knew I was coming, why did you have her here?"

He shrugged. "Didn't quite _know _you were coming. I had a feeling you'd still be on about the whole Underworld Detective thing, and would probably want to go out on this assignment. Just didn't expect you to show up while she was still here. Wasn't sure you'd want to come here at all. I'm not sorry, though. For what I said. I could've said it better, but eloquence isn't who I am."

"It was honest," Jessica said, deciding to leave it at that. She didn't quite forgive him, but she left it unspoken that she would rather put it behind them and start fresh. "Since speaking with the new flake Sera gave me a headache, I didn't bother asking for specifics on the assignment. What will we be doing exactly?"

--- --- ---

Jessica winced as more quills hit the upturned table she and Jude were hiding behind, lodging into the thick oak with a twang. She learned firsthand how nasty it would be to get hit by one of those things, as a quill had grazed her thigh earlier, and she was trying desperately to heal it with her Reiki. She wished she'd paid more attention when she was taught about healing techniques, but wishing wouldn't do her much good now.

"Fuck!" Jude swore. "Can't get close enough to the bugger when he's shooting those things off at us like that!"

Jessica nodded in agreement. The espin demon they were facing was bad news. It was fast, and its quills served both as an excellent defense and offense. "We need a plan," she said, stating the obvious. "What if I were to draw his attention while you sneak up on him and slap the cuffs on him?"

"Bugger that," Jude said, shaking his head. "You've got a bum leg, and he'd make short work of you. _I'll _draw his attention."

"_I _can use a long ranged attack," she pointed out. "I'm also pretty handy with shielding spells. Bum leg or no, I can hold my own. Shotgun!" She stood up, firing a barrage of spirit energy that disintegrated the incoming quills. She quickly limped away to try to get the espin demon's attention on her, casting a quick Shield Charm to protect her while firing more Reiki blasts at the demon. So long as the demon didn't notice Jude sneaking up on him…

Jessica screaming in pain, stumbling as a quill pierced into the calf of her other leg. She tried to concentrate on putting more power into her Shield Charm, hoping it would hold out as her movements were effectively ceased. She wished she hadn't failed her Apparition exam. If she could Apparate, she would at least be able to move around and get out of the line of fire.

The espin demon shrieked in pain as its back was sliced open by Jude's Spirit Sword. A few quills automatically shot out of its back, causing Jude to cry out as he was hit by them. Gritting his teeth, Jude maneuvered one end of the Spirit Cuffs on the demon's wrist. He swung at the attacking demon once more, getting hit by a few more painful looking quills. Through the pain, though, he was somehow able to twist his body enough to slap the other end of the spectral handcuffs onto the demon's other wrist. The cuffs glowed briefly and a soft white light surrounded the demon before it vanished to the Underworld.

Jude sank down to his knees, breathing heavily as he tried to pull out one of the quills lodged in his stomach. Jessica tried to crawl over to him, hissing at the pain in her legs. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more," she said apologetically.

Jude shouted out with pain as he pulled out the first quill sticking out of him. "I'd likely be dead if you wasn't here," he said. "Bloody wanker was tougher than I thought. So're you, for that matter."

Jessica blushed slightly at the compliment. Deciding it would be easier to move if she didn't have a quill embedded in her calf, she grabbed hold of it and yanked it out, shrieking at the resulting pain.

"Careful there," Jude said, pulling out another quill with a grimace. "You know, sod this all." He reached into his pocket, pulling out something resembling a mobile phone. He pressed a few buttons and waited for an answer on the other end. "We're at 326 Industry Way and need a couple of those magic healing beans. Demon's dealt with, but me and my partner are injured and can't really move." He paused. "'Course we're staying put, you bint! What part of 'can't really move' don't you understand?" He rolled his eyes and hung up, putting the phone back in his pocket. "I miss the old bird I used to work for. Whatever happened to her?"

"She married my uncle," Jessica said, hovering her hand over the worse of her injuries, which at the moment was the bleeding wound in her calf. "She would've stayed, but her boss had her replaced after she resigned from her job in the Underworld."

Jude looked over to her. "You're not having me on, are you?" He started to chuckle, but quickly stopped as he grimaced in pain. "Your old man was detective before me, yeah? Was he the bloke that knocked up the bird who came before him?"

Jessica shook her head. "No, that was my uncle Charlie. My dad worked for the Underworld after the Battle of Hogwarts."

"Sorry, the what?"

Realizing he had no idea what she was talking about -- as Muggles generally weren't taught about wizarding history -- she shook her head. "A battle that happened in the magical world. An evil wizard was defeated then. But my dad started working as their detective just a bit before I was born. He went into semi-retirement when me and my brother were born. He still went on cases for years after that, but only if his expertise was truly needed."

Jude let out a low whistle. "Your whole family's involved with the Underworld, huh?"

"Not all of them," Jessica said. "My uncle Bill and aunt Ginny aren't. Neither's my uncle Ron, although he was once held hostage by a bunch of demons and an Underworld Detective that went psycho. I always figured that I'd work for the Underworld when I got old enough."

"Do you really want to?" Jude asked. "No offense, sweets, but you just strike me as someone far too used to living comfortably to deal with the harsh reality of demon fighting."

She glared at him, pouting slightly. "And what would you know?" she asked defensively.

"When I was your age, I'd been living on the streets for three years," he replied. "Before then, when I wasn't getting beat up by the wanker my mum stupidly married after he knocked her up -- the same man who pushed her down a flight of stairs and caused her to miscarry, I might add -- I was getting yelled at by my mum for being a 'no-good layabout'. After I took off, I proved the old bird right by wasting away in a gutter, doped up on whatever drug I could get my hands on. Anything to take my mind of the strange shit I saw. Been seeing demons and spirits since I was a tyke. Didn't understand what I was seeing, but… I didn't even want to straighten out my act until I met the foreman of my first gig. He helped me out when I didn't even realize I needed help. The money was good and it got me off the streets. Even found me a pretty little girlfriend once I'd cleaned myself up some. More than that, I finally had hope that I might be able to amount to something more than becoming just another statistic."

Jessica was silent. Her life had been more comfortable and _easy _in comparison -- she was never lacking in the love or security she craved -- but she didn't want to admit to it. "So what happened to your girlfriend? Did she dump your arse after she found out you'd been sleeping around?"

Jude shook his head. "I dumped her arse after she found out she was pregnant."

Jessica looked at him, aghast. "That's a horrible thing to do!"

"Why? Because she proved herself to be nothing more than a filthy whore?!" he responded bitterly. "See, the difference between me and her is that at least I'm upfront about what I do with other birds. I didn't want to give you no false illusions that you were the only bird I was with. She, however, kept insisting the baby was mine."

"Maybe it was!" Jessica protested. Just when she thought there was some hope for him, he had to prove just how big a pig he really was.

"I'm fucking sterile!" he shot back. "Found that out when I was seventeen. I've got a greater chance at getting struck by lightning than fathering a child. Probably caused by all the drugs I did, but I could be buggered all to care why."

Jessica drew back slightly. "You're sterile?" she repeated softly.

Jude nodded. "Not exactly something a bloke likes to admit, but yes, I'm shooting blanks. If she'd been honest with me about how she'd been screwing other blokes, I might've been able to deal with it. See, it's not the infidelity that bothered me, but the _lies_. If you have any respect for someone, the least you can do is be honest with them."

Jessica nodded silently. She was beginning to understand why he said the things he had the previous summer, even if she didn't like it.

"I am sorry," he said quietly. "Not for what I said, because it was the truth. But for hurting you. I could've said it better." He paused and smiled. "Still, it led to some bloody incredible sex, so it can't be all bad."

Jessica chuckled, smiling slightly. "How much longer do you think it'll be before someone gets here?"

"Bugger if I know," he said. "My company that bad?"

She paused before shaking her head. "Not at all."

--- --- ---

The 'magic healing beans' given by the Underworld helped to speed the healing process along, even if they didn't heal them completely. Jessica was sure that there was probably a more proper name for the beans, but she didn't really care to ask. It still hurt for her to try to walk, which was why she spent the night at Jude's flat where Sera had taken them. She doubted that she could walk all the way home, and Sera had disappeared before she could request to be taken home.

She knew it was a bad idea after the way he'd hurt her last summer, but falling back into familiar habits was something she found too hard to break. She understood more about why he acted like a wanker, and hoped that maybe he understood her more a bit as well.

"You're still going to sleep around, aren't you?" Jessica asked as she cuddled up to Jude in his bed. It had been a bit difficult finding a position that didn't pain one or both of them, but they had managed, and were now enjoying the moments of after-sex bliss.

"Probably," he said, carefully taking a drag off his cigarette as he laid next to her. "I meant what I said about how you'd be better off with some other bloke. You deserve someone who'll treat you right."

"Maybe," she agreed. "But that doesn't mean we can't have fun while it lasts, right?"

Jude was silent for a while, taking the occasional drag off his cigarette. When he'd smoked half of it, he reached over to grab the ashtray and extinguished the cigarette. "We can't do this anymore," he said so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

It took Jessica a few seconds to register what he'd said. "What? Why not?"

"I've always had a rule that I don't sleep with birds I respect," he replied. "Keeps things from getting confusing." He glanced to her. "You don't have to sleep with me to stay on as my partner, you know. I know that's the only reason why you did it before, but… I don't want to take advantage of you like that. You're too good for that."

Jessica looked at him in shock for a few moments. "You're breaking up with me?"

"That's the thing," Jude said. "We're not together. What we have is just sex. You're using me, I'm using you, and I don't want to keep using you."

"Then don't," she protested.

Jude sighed and shook his head. "I don't want to be used, either." He picked his boxer shorts up from where they were discarded on the nightstand, and sat up to put them on. He hissed as the motion aggravated his stomach injury.

"You think I'm using you?" Jessica asked, sitting up and holding the sheet up to cover herself.

"You don't care about me," he stated. "You've only been sleeping with me because you thought that was the only way I'd keep you on as my partner. If I wasn't the Underworld Detective, you'd want nothing to do with me. You can still be my partner if you want, but don't expect more'n that."

Jessica blinked at the utter bizarreness of the situation. He wasn't supposed to be the one to end whatever it was they had. Especially not after she thought they had reached some sort of understanding. "So that's it?" she asked, trying to stop her lower lip from quivering. "You've had your fun, now you're off to have fun with someone else?"

"I never bloody said that," he muttered, glancing over his shoulder at her. "I like sex, yeah, but maybe I want to try to make better of myself. When we were waiting for that bint to show up to get us out of there, I started thinking of a number of things Dennehey told me when he gave me a chance. I could waste away in a gutter, or I could try to make something of myself. Just 'cause I got a job and my own flat don't mean I'm not still wasting away. 'Sides, do you really want me to treat you like the other slags I bring home?"

"Then don't!" she exclaimed. "If you really do respect me, you don't have to treat me like them!"

He sighed. "Once more. You don't care about me. You can't ask someone to give you respect that you don't give them. I respect you enough not to want to treat you like dirt, and all I ask is that you do the same."

Jessica just shook her head, trying to blink back a few tears that she refused to shed in front of him. She should have known that it was a mistake to go to bed with him after the way he'd hurt her.

Jude pulled on his boxers and stood up. He grabbed a blanket that had fallen onto the floor and walked to the door. "I've got a mobile in the drawer of the nightstand. Not sure if it's got any minutes, but you can use it to call someone to pick you up if you want. We'll probably be asked to debrief in the morning. I can do that alone if you'd rather. 'Night."

Jessica was silent as he walked out. Only once he had closed the door behind him did she allow herself to cry.

--- --- ---

Jessica sat cross-legged on Chloe's bed, watching on as her best friend sang and rocked her eleven-month-old daughter to sleep. Her legs injuries had healed, which meant that she was allowed out of the house again. She figured that since Chloe was still under house arrest, she might as well use her newfound freedom to pay her a visit and stay the night with her parents' blessings. Of course, she also had a feeling that they were getting tired of her whining for them to wait on her hand and foot because it 'hurt too much to move'. She'd noticed that the meals they brought her were prepared by her mother, so figured that wasn't too far off an assessment.

Chloe kissed little Bethany on the forehead before setting the sleepy infant down in her crib. "I'm going to try my best, little one," she promised, smiling softly. She turned to face Jessica. "And here I thought you forgot all about me. We never hang out anymore, buttface."

Jessica chuckled. "We've both been a bit preoccupied. I'm guessing you've got a battle plan, fart-breath?"

Chloe nodded and walked over to sit next to Jessica on the bed. "It might be a bit ambitious, but I was thinking of maybe going through Healer training. I don't like how long it takes, but…" She sighed. "I think Aunt Janice probably could have lived if the Healers knew what they were doing and listened to what they were told. Aunt Ginny tried, but… I'm wondering what combining Reiki healing methods and magical healing methods would do. Maybe more lives would be saved."

Jessica nodded mutely. It sounded like Chloe had a plan for after she was done with school. "You'll need a load of NEWTs to get into the program."

Chloe nodded. "I'll study." She brightened up and smiled. "You'll never guess what!"

Jessica tilted her head. "What?"

Chloe practically bounced up and down on her bed. "Logan asked me to marry him!" she squealed. She suddenly clapped her hand over her mouth and glanced toward her daughter. "I should probably be quieter," she said in a much lower tone.

Jessica stared at her in shock. "He asked you to _marry _him? Aren't you a bit young for that?"

Chloe snorted. "It's not like we're getting married _tomorrow _or anything," she said dismissively. "We're going to wait until we've finished school. We want at least one of us to have a steady job before we do it. Part time jobs cleaning up owl droppings at the pet shop on Diagon Alley does not count, because it's very gross and doesn't pay much. He's looking into a career in journalism. He's sent off a few freelance reports to the _Daily Prophet_ as part of his portfolio, but they haven't gotten back to him yet."

Jessica was silent. She hadn't really given much thought to what she wanted to do after leaving Hogwarts. Professor Longbottom, her head of house, had tried to talk more to her about possible career choices throughout her sixth year, but she still hadn't figured out what she wanted to do other than work as the Underworld Detective. But there was already an Underworld Detective, and she could only be his partner. After the way he had practically told her 'so long, been fun, there's the door', she hadn't gone back to see if there were any new assignments. Well, and she had been under a form of house arrest also known as 'if you hurt that bad, you're not to leave the house to go wandering around'.

"How do you know he's the one for you?" Jessica asked. "I mean, you've never been with anyone else, and you always used to deny that you were going out even though you were fooling around…"

Chloe smiled and shrugged. "I never wanted to be with anyone else. And I think things were always more complex between us to stick on a simple label like boyfriend or girlfriend. We were friends, but there was always something more. And I'm not just talking about all the fooling around. I couldn't picture my life without him any more than I could picture it without you. I can even see myself as an old lady sitting next to him on our front porch, complaining about all the 'young whippersnappers'. You live across the street from us, by the way. You and your million cats. You're the crazy old cat lady."

"I don't even like cats," Jessica said, wrinkling her nose. "Can't I have a million armadillos? The climate's all wrong, but those things are just so cute, and the word 'armadillo' is rather nifty."

Chloe laughed. "Whatever you want, so long as there's a million of them. Maybe you could be running an illegal moose smuggling ring."

Jessica chuckled before lying back on the bed. "I've been sleeping with this guy since last summer," she said melancholically. "He's a total prick and told me that he has 'too much respect for me to continue sleeping with me, but no problem sleeping with other women', but I want him to want to be with me."

Chloe stared at her in silence for a few moments. "I'm only now hearing about this? Who is this guy?"

"You had other problems," Jessica said, glancing to Bethany in her crib. "His name's Jude. He's the current Underworld Detective, and he's, well… I already called him a total prick, didn't I?"

Chloe nodded. "You said he dumped you? Do we need to exact vengeance on him? I think we still have that vat of rancid pudding somewhere…"

Jessica shook her head. "I just want him to want me again. Not some nameless slag that he's just going to tell to get lost."

"You're probably better off without him if he'd rather sleep around," Chloe said sagely. "He honestly tried to pull that whole 'I have to much respect for you' bit?"

"He doesn't think I care about him," Jessica said. "I'm not even sure if I care about him myself. He's a total pig, but at least he's honest about it. He knows who he is and what he wants. He was always saying that I could do better than him, and I know I could. I tried going out with a couple of guys last year, but they just didn't interest me. They weren't him." She chuckled humorlessly. "How twisted is it that I'm not interested in the good guys out there, but I can't stop thinking about the one guy who is so completely wrong for me? Maybe he was right to end things."

Chloe watched her thoughtfully for a few moments. "You're still growing up. You're trying to figure out what you want in life. So am I, for that matter. And bad boys are kinda hot, and it sounds like you found one. You're better off without him, though."

Jessica nodded, knowing her friend was right.

--- --- ---

[_**August 2016**_]

Even though Jude had made it clear that he wasn't about to invite Jessica into his bed, he was still gracious enough to allow her to use his shower when she needed to clean off any demon guts that clung to her after an assignment. They were partners, he had explained, and he didn't want to be accused of not taking care of his partner by having her walk home covered in gore.

Jessica was fairly certain she'd cleaned most of the ick off her hair and body. Her clothes were completely ruined, but she hoped a good cleaning charm would work for the worst of it before she could get home and change into her pajamas. Cleaning charms were one thing she was good at, which made sense since she seemed to make enough messes.

She glanced over at Jude, who was sitting in his armchair, smoking a cigarette as he stared at the blank television. He looked deep in thought about something, although she wasn't about to disrupt his concentration to ask what.

They'd fallen into habit of treating one another in a professional manner. He didn't regale her with any tales of women he had met at some pub -- which she was grateful for -- and she didn't try to convince him to let her back into his bed.

As if sensing she was watching him, Jude glanced to where she was sitting on the floor, trying to clean her clothes.

"I'm almost done," Jessica said as turned back to waving her wand over her shirt. Jude had let her borrow a bathrobe of his to wear while she tried to make her clothes presentable.

Jude nodded and looked away from her. He took a deep drag off his cigarette. "I'm quitting," he said, exhaling the acrid smoke.

She looked over to him. "Quitting what?"

"The whole Underworld Detective gig," he clarified. "I can't work for the bint working there now. Gives me a bloody headache talking to her. Figure I'll go freelance, so I guess you're official."

She stared at him in shock. "You can't quit," she protested.

"I can and I am," he said. "I know what all these things I see are now, and I know how to deal with them, so there's no point in staying. 'Sides, you get your chance at being Underworld Detective now. You won't have to deal with me no more."

Jessica looked down. It was true that she had once asked him to quit so she could become the Underworld Detective, but she really was fine working as his partner. She didn't want him to quit, although she didn't quite know the reason why. "I've still got one more year of school," she muttered. "Demons won't take a vacation just because I'm gone."

"Then you might want to talk to that bint first so she don't find someone else," Jude said.

"Can you wait?" she asked, turning to him again. "Just until I'm out of school?"

He shook his head. "I'm trying to get my band to take off. Pete, our drummer, he says his uncle knows someone. Working for the Underworld'll just take up the time we need to practice. I'll still fight, but it'll be all freelance, and on my own time when it's convenient to me."

"But I'll have no reason to see you again!" she blurted out.

He watched her oddly as he took one last drag off his cigarette before putting it out. "Why would you want to?" he asked. "You got what you want."

Jessica wasn't even sure she knew the answer to his question. She hadn't meant to say the last thing she'd blurted out, and wasn't quite sure where it had come from. She picked up her clothes and stood up. They were clean enough. "I'll just go into the other room to change. I've bothered you long enough." She began to walk to the door of Jude's bedroom, but stopped when he stood up and walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You'll miss me, won't you?" he asked, breathing against her neck. Jessica wiggled her bum against him, smiling slightly at the reaction it got from his growing erection. "That's why you don't want me to quit. But what do you want from me, I wonder?"

"I'm not using you," she said. "I thought you didn't want to do this anymore?"

Jude pressed against her, gently rocking against her. "We never did have a proper 'goodbye' shag, and I am feeling a bit randy. Haven't had any since the last time we were together. If you want to, that is."

"Well, of course we haven't had sex since the last time we--"

"With anyone," he interrupted, trailing kisses along the side of her neck. "Not just you. Trying that whole bettering myself thing. I've been damn lucky not to have caught nothing, and I want to keep it that way. Now what do you say?"

Jessica closed her eyes and let her clothes fall to the floor. "I don't want a 'goodbye' shag, but I do want you to fuck me hard and make me scream."

Jude chuckled, but was more than willing to oblige her once they entered his bedroom. Jessica wasn't sure of just how many times he brought her to orgasm, but her throat was raw from shouting out his name by the time they were done. She was also pretty sure she heard the neighbor's pounding on the wall a few times while Jude had pounded into her.

"I don't want this to be goodbye," Jessica said when it was all over. She wondered if she would be able to walk home, as her legs felt like jelly.

"'Sup to you," Jude replied. "You deserve someone better'n me."

Jessica moaned noncommittally. "What's the real reason you changed your mind about doing this?" she asked. "I know it has to be more than just 'you were horny'."

Jude was silent for a few moments. "I'll tell you someday," he said softly. "'Til then, just accept it for what I said."

Jessica closed her eyes. She probably wouldn't be going home that night, as not only were her legs jelly, but she was feeling rather worn out. "If your band takes off, you're not going to move away, are you?"

"I'll make sure you know where to find me if I do," he murmured in reply, wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer.

Jessica smiled as she used him as a nice warm pillow. "I'll see you next June, then."

"If you're not seeing some other bloke," he said.

"I won't," she murmured before drifting off to sleep.

--- --- ---

[_**June 2017**_]

It felt weird to get off the Hogwarts Express for the last time, knowing she would never ride it again. It wasn't that Jessica would miss going to school, because she wouldn't, but it was more of a nostalgic feeling of knowing that her childhood was behind her.

She still wasn't any closer to figuring out what she wanted to do with her life than she had been when she first stepped onto the Hogwarts Express to take her to her first year. In a way, she envied her classmates that had their futures mapped out, or at least had a general idea of what they were going to do. Even after continuous meetings with Professor Longbottom, her head of house, she was still at a loss. She had even been called into a meeting with some Unspeakables from the Ministry, who were impressed with her marks and ability to 'think outside the box'. She wasn't sure if they were looking at the same marks as her, as she certainly wasn't at the top of her class by any means. Maybe if she bothered to open her books or do her homework, but if she was passing without any effort, what would be the point of studying? Since they refused to say just what they were trying to recruit her for, she passed on their offer for the time being.

The only thing she could really see herself doing for a living was working as an Underworld Detective, even though she knew her conviction there wasn't all that strong, either. It was more an interesting hobby than anything, and didn't really pay much at all. She didn't really want to fight for a living, and she didn't want to let it be the focus of her life as it had been for her Aunt Janice.

It wasn't until she'd been out of school for over a week that she finally had the chance to get out of the seemingly endless celebrations for completing Hogwarts. Chloe's Healer training would be starting in a week, and her wedding was tentatively scheduled for the next summer. Kyle planned to study abroad at a wizarding university in America as he 'considered all his options'. Her cousin Victoire had been accepted as a junior photographer for some fashion magazine that wasn't quite as well known or prestigious as _Witch Weekly_, but would still help to boost her blossoming career. Jessica would find herself working as a delivery girl for the Golden Dragon, a job she'd applied to out of boredom and knowing she had to find something to do.

Knocking on his door, she hoped that Jude hadn't moved without telling her. She didn't know if his band was any good or not, but if they had somehow broken into the music industry, he would surely have found a better place to live. The walls of the apartment complex were even more heavily graffitied than ever, and she was sure she saw some cockroaches scurrying around.

Jude practically threw open the door after just one knock. Jessica didn't even have time to lower her fist from how it was poised to knock again before he wrapped her into an embrace.

"I need you," Jude murmured, pressing his body against hers. "Please…"

Jessica blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected quite this sort of reaction from him. Deciding it was better for them to head inside his flat rather than have him grind against her partially in the hall, she nodded and had him lead her inside.

She was a bit overwhelmed by his desire. She let him take her to his bed, and she was soon screaming out as her body succumbed to the extreme pleasure of having him inside her. She had almost forgotten how good it felt to merge their bodies together. She must have had two or three orgasms before he found his release.

Jude breathed heavily from the exertion after he'd pulled out of her and laid next to her. "Much better than a wank and cold shower," he muttered. When she looked at him curiously, he clarified. "Can't say I didn't stumble a couple times, but… I tried."

"Not saying I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" Jessica asked.

"You came back," he said placing an arm around her to pull her closer. "Bugger all if I know why, but you keep coming back, even though I keep hurting you and pushing you away."

"I said I would, didn't I?" She smiled contentedly as she cuddled against him.

He chuckled before leaning over to grab his cigarettes off the nightstand. "You probably know that I can figure out what something is by scanning it, right?" He pulled out a cigarette, offering her one (which she declined) before lighting up. "Sometimes I get feelings about things I can't really explain. Like my ex. I got the feeling that I shouldn't tell her I was sterile. And I was right. Wasn't long after I found that out that she told me she was up the duff. If I'd said something, she probably would've gotten rid of the kid and I never would've known she was screwing around with other blokes."

She looked at him in confusion. "Yeah, but… I think you lost me somewhere."

"I got a feeling about you," he said, taking a drag off his cigarette. "Not sure what, exactly. Whatever it is, I feel like I can trust you with stuff I don't trust with anyone." He glanced to her. "You're the first bird I've ever really told about how I shoot blanks. I'd rather get dragged to court in a paternity suit than admit to it. 'Course, maybe that's just me being a sadist, because there's nothing funnier than the looks on the faces of these slags when they find out that not only didn't I father their brats, but neither did the five other blokes they drug along to get tested as well. Been held in contempt of court for laughing my arse off a few times. I don't know just what we're supposed to be, but… I don't want to use you."

"Then what do you want to do?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Get to know you. You're not like all the other slags out there when you're being yourself. I felt like shite when I saw just how much I hurt you. You're someone who I can respect, and treating you like you was one of those common tramps I couldn't bugger all to care about… Somewhere along the way I think I just said 'good enough' and stopped trying to better myself. You helped me realize I'm not done with that yet."

"I thought you said you weren't changing for anyone else," she said.

"I'm not," he replied, taking a drag off his cigarette. "I'm going to try to better myself for me." He glanced down at her. "I've always been a physical bloke. Sex is how I connect with a bird, which is why we seem to end up in bed a lot. I decided to try and see if I have what it takes to go without for a while. Only made it a few months at a time."

Jessica looked away from him. "At least you weren't fucking some bimbo when I got here this time."

"Don't make excuses for me," Jude said. "You and me… We're not in a relationship right now. I don't know what we've got, but neither of us are under any commitment to be faithful. I'm not quite ready for a relationship, and I don't think you are, either."

She shot him a disbelieving look. "What makes you say that?"

"You keep compromising yourself to try and please me," he said, exhaling a bit of smoke. "I don't want to be with a doormat who constantly changes who she is to suit who she's with. I want to learn about the real you and see where things take us."

"Good luck," she muttered. "I'm not entirely sure of that myself."

"Then it's time to let the real you shine through, and to stop molding yourself into who you think others want you to be," he said, putting out his cigarette. "Conformity can jump off a sodding bridge. Think any of the greats would be so great if they conformed to what people wanted? Bugger that."

Jessica watched him for a few moments. "Why do you want to get to know me, though? If we're not in a relationship, why does it matter?"

"It's a feeling I got," he said softly. "Don't know if things'll quite pan out, but I got a feeling that you're the girl I'll someday marry."

Jessica's eyes widened as she stared at him speechlessly.

"When you tried to convince me to stay on as Underworld Detective, I think that's when I realized that maybe there was a chance you weren't just using me. That maybe there was something _real _there," he continued. "But even if things don't work out that way, I don't want to be living the bachelor's life forever. I'm not ready for that sort of commitment with you or _anyone _right now. So I'm going to see about becoming a better man in the meantime. It'd be better if you'd followed my advice and sown some of your wild oats with other blokes, but I can understand how none of them can really compare to me. So yeah, I want to get to know you better. You probably know more about me than I know about you."

"I find myself learning something new about you every time I'm with you," she said.

He smiled. "That's a start, then." He glanced down at her. "So if we give this whole 'learning about one another' a go, do you want to go out somewhere Friday?"

Jessica bit her lip. "My parents are throwing a 'farewell' dinner on Friday for my brother before he leaves for America. He wants an early start so he doesn't miss any 'important orientation meetings'. I can't get out of it. Although…" She paused and took a deep breath. "Maybe you could go with me?"

--- --- ---

[_**June 2020**_]

"…And do you, Jessica Leigh Weasley, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband; to have and to hold, in sickness and in health?" the pastor asked, officiating before Jessica and the man who was to be her husband in but a few short minutes.

Jessica didn't take her eyes off her husband-to-be, beaming happily. "I do," she said without hesitation.

The pastor cleared his throat. "Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

They had talked about it before the ceremony, and she had specifically told him no tongues. Their friends and family did not need to see them play tonsil hockey, especially since there were children present. Not that she expected that to stop him from putting on a show. He always had been a bit of a snarky git.

To his credit, Jude did not try to stick his tongue in her mouth, although he tried to keep the kiss lingering longer than necessary. Jessica found herself not minding one bit.

"I love you," Jude whispered to her as they pulled apart to face the clapping congregation.

"I love you, too," she smiled at him as she went with her new husband to the reception waiting for them.

She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when she realized she was in love with him. In retrospect, she didn't think it was in the early stages of their courtship when she was still an adolescent of sixteen, going through all the usual teenage angst of first boyfriends and first heartbreaks. There was something there, yes, but not love. Even when she was seventeen, she didn't think she'd been quite ready to love him as she did now. But as she grew to know him and to know herself, there was no question in her mind or heart that he was the man she wanted to spend her life with.

He had supported her as she struggled to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. There were times when she could tell he was frustrated by her lack of focus, but sometimes their arguments were just the kind of wake up call she needed. After one such row where he accused her of just wanting to be a 'professional drifter', she opted to meet with the Unspeakables that had been attempting to recruit her since she was in Hogwarts. Afterwards, she wondered why she'd put off the meeting for so long. Working in the Department of Mysteries was interesting, not to mention it sounded just plain cool when saying she worked as an Unspeakable.

"I knew you said you came from a large family, but damn," Jude commented once they finally had the chance to sit down from all the obligatory dancing. He had washed most of the dye out of his hair for the occasion, although his naturally dark blond hair still had a decidedly green hue to it. "Maybe we should've insisted on name tags."

Jessica chuckled. "Now you know why I said that even if we kept our guest list restricted to just family and close friends, we'd still have quite a number of guests." She paused. "Is that your drummer trying to chat up my sister?"

Jude glanced over to where she was looking. "Nah. Matt's our bassist. Probably half-drunk by now, too, the sot. See? He's already throwing up on her shoes."

"Lovely," Jessica deadpanned. She chuckled to herself as she saw her sister storming off in disgust.

"You're not going to have any second thoughts, are you?" Jude asked. When she glanced to him, she saw him looking to where the younger kids were corralled into a kids' play area. "You know I can't give you that," he continued in a wistful tone.

"We've been through this before," Jessica said softly, taking his hand in hers. "I didn't marry you because I wanted loads of foul-mouthed red-haired babies. I married you because I love you. If we want kids, we can adopt. Besides, I don't think the world needs me to put my genetic material out there for a future generation. I lost count of just how many siblings and cousins I have. More than name tags, we need a bloody score card to keep up with everyone. Let them swarm the world with their offspring."

"Just making sure. Doesn't mean we can't do a dry run," Jude answered, smirking.

"Oh, there'll be plenty of that," Jessica agreed, leaning forward to kiss her new husband.

And even though she didn't possess a sixth sense herself, she had a feeling that they would be getting plenty of practice at baby making, even if they never had children of their own. She wasn't the motherly type, and it wasn't like there would ever be a shortage of little ones in her family to dote on. She was perfectly content just being blissfully in love with her husband.

She was really glad he hadn't quit as Underworld Detective when she'd asked him to.


End file.
